Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 A World of My Choosing   An Out-of-this-World Story by Gil Gamesh   Chapter
Five   Wednesday, eight guys, all of us in the final stages of our
training, were ordered to have an early breakfast, a big one, and to board
the waiting bus by seven o'clock.  To test our endurance in desert
conditions, we were taken to a remote area of the base for a series of
challenges.  I was confident that I could do anything that was asked of me.

   As a warm-up, we started with simple routine exercises like pushups and
I did my usual fifty with no difficulty.  After that, we were confronted
with the obstacle course from hell.  We had to cooperate to complete the
course and we had to ensure that all eight of us finished it or else we all
failed.  I was chosen to be team leader.  We managed to get all eight of us
through the course.

   As the day wore on, my confidence began to wane, especially since we did
not have any lunch and my stomach was growling like a bear.

   During the afternoon, we were pushed even harder, culminating at last in
a run over rough terrain with a fifty-pound backpack.  Only five of us made
it to the finish point; three collapsed from exhaustion.  The five of us
were examined by a medic and then we waited in the air-conditioned bus for
the other three to join us when they recovered.  Nobody said a word or even
moved on the ride back to our barracks.

   I knew Anna was waiting for me for dinner at the mess hall.  I wanted a
cold shower and clean clothes before I joined her but, when some of the
other trainees asked to be taken straight to the mess hall, I didn't
object. I hoped she loved me enough to have dinner with me even though I
was filthy and stinking.

   She was sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch of the mess hall,
waiting for me, fresh-from-the-shower-looking and beautiful as always.  She
took one look at me, made me sit down in her chair, and then checked me out
as best she could.  I suppose my temperature and heart and breathing rates
were close enough to normal.  The feel of her palm on my forehead made the
day's ordeal almost worth it.

   "David, are you OK?" she asked.  I could hear the very real concern in
her voice.

   "Yeah, I'm OK," I answered, barely able to force the words out.  "I've
just been through the endurance test from hell and I haven't eaten since
breakfast and I'm totally exhausted and hungry enough to eat a horse, but,
yeah, I'm OK."

   She stood looking at me for a minute while I slumped down in the chair,
looking up at her.  I suppose she was trying to decide what to do.

   "I love you, David," she whispered.  "Will you let me take care of you?"

   All I was able to say was "Yeah." I wanted her to care for me.  I wanted
her to love me.  I suppose the big grin on my face showed her how much I
wanted her to take care of me.

   She would not even let me go through the chow line with her.  She made
me sit at a small table while she got food for me.  I watched her as she
piled the food on a tray.  When she put the tray down in front of me, I
wondered if I would be able to hold it all.    She sat in front of me,
watching me eat, until I began to slow down.  Only then did she go back
through the chow line for her own dinner.  By the time we finished eating -
and I ate everything - I felt a slight resurgence of energy.

   "Let's go back to your quarters," she finally said.  "I'm going to give
you a bath.  You stink."

   "I'm sorry," I answered.  "They put eight of us through some rough
challenges today, without any lunch.  I suppose we all wanted to eat more
than we wanted to bathe."

   "Don't apologize," she said.  "I've smelled worse.  I'm going to give
you a bath and then put you to bed.  I think I'll even give you something
to help you sleep."

   "You don't have to bathe me, Anna.  I can do it myself."

   "David, don't argue with me," she said, in a tone of voice that sounded
like an order.  "A woman wants to take care of her man.  You're my man now,
damn it!  You hear me; you're my man from now on!  Tonight, you will do
what I tell you!"

   "Yes, ma'am," I surrendered.  I was happy to surrender to her.

   As we were leaving the mess hall, another of the female trainees pulled
Anna to one side for a moment and whispered something to her.  Then, as we
were walking to my barracks, I asked her what she had said.

   "She asked if you had told me you came in first in the endurance run,"
Anna answered.  "She said you ran off and left the other guys.  Why do you
always have to be like that?"

   "Like what?"

   "The Warrior!  That's what some of the girls call you.  Some of the
trainees refer to you as the fucking warrior and some as the goddamn
warrior.  You don't have to be the leader in everything, David.  Did you
think of how the other guys felt to see you running ahead of them all the
way to the finish?"

   "Anna, I've just got long legs."

   "Don't give me that crap, David.  Did you even think of the other guys?"

   I stopped for a minute and turned her around facing me.

   "Yes, I did, Anna.  I was very much aware of the other guys all the time
we were running.  They chose me to be their leader and I always want to be
responsible for my men.  I wanted them to see me out in front of them.  I
wanted them to know I was going to complete the run and they could too.  I
deliberately slowed down a couple of times so I wouldn't get too far ahead
of them.  As far as me being a leader, well, that's just the way I am.  I
guess I'll always be that way.  As far as me being the fucking warrior,
well, maybe not yet but..."

   She gave a big sigh, smiled at me, and shook her head.  "Well, I suppose
I'll just have to take you the way you are."

   "I hope so," I said, and grinned back at her.

   In my room, she made me sit on the edge of the bed while she took off my
boots.  Then she unbuttoned my shirt, pulled it off, ordered me to stand
up, unbelted and unzipped my pants, and took them off.  I'd gone commando
again but she didn't say anything about it.  My penis was hanging down and
swollen but as limp as I felt.  My testicles were hanging down even lower.
She slowly ran her hand over the scratches and bruises on my stomach and
chest and ignored everything lower down.

   I sat there and watched intently while she undressed.  She had worn her
usual evening outfit: buttoned shirt with a white undershirt, no bra, khaki
shorts with white panties, and white socks and sneakers.  She stuck her
tongue out at me when she pulled her undershirt over her head and saw me
looking at her breasts, her perfect beautiful breasts.  Then she watched me
and smiled when she hooked her thumbs in her panties and slowly,
tantalizingly slowly, pulled them down her long legs.  As tired as I was, I
felt a little surge of desire when she revealed her naked body to me.  She
was just so damn beautiful.  She was such a big beautiful woman.  I
couldn't help but feel I wasn't worthy of her.

   I looked down at my own body, encrusted in places with dirt, half-clean
in others from sweating, scratches on my legs, scrapes and bruises on my
stomach and chest from hanging on top of a twelve-foot obstacle wall and
pulling the other guys up and over, and stinking from sweating all day.  I
was proud of the physical condition in which I kept my body but I hated to
let her see me so filthy and sweaty.

   She held out her hand to me, expecting me to stand up and follow her,
but instead I pulled her in front of me.  I moved to the edge of the bed,
pulled her between my spread knees, and wrapped my arms around her with my
face just even with her breasts.  I shut my eyes, turned my head slightly,
and leaned forward until the side of my face was pressed against the
softness of her breasts.  I took a few deep breaths and inhaled the clean
womanly smell of her.  I didn't care whether I ever moved again.

   For a minute or so, she held my head against her breasts with one hand
and played with my hair with the other.  I turned my head, sought out the
nipple of one of her breasts, caught the hard little knob between my lips,
and sucked gently on it.  I turned loose of that nipple, kissed the other
one briefly, put my face between her breasts, breathed deeply a few times,
and relaxed.

   "Don't go to sleep on me, David," she said after a while.  "You've still
got to have a bath first.  Even your scalp is dirty.  I'm going to have to
shampoo my little boy's hair before I bathe him.  Why is it so long?  Isn't
it a lot of trouble?"

   A sudden urge to do something came to me and, as tired as I was, I
decided to show her.  I reached up with both hands and tousled my hair into
a tangled mess, wiped dirt off my body and smeared it on my face, and
stirred up the scent of my armpits and blew it at her.  Then I stood up,
pretending the greatest difficulty, and walked around my small bedroom
holding my right leg stiff and straight.

   "I see," she said.  "It's part of your disguise, your camouflage, when
you go on your mission."

   "Yeah," I croaked, still walking.

   "And something is going to happen to your leg so that you have to walk
stiff-legged?"

   I mimicked someone reading from a book in his left hand and trying to
walk with one bad leg.

   "You're going to be...an Islamic scholar, some sort of dirty crippled
fanatic who's always reading from the Koran."

   "Yeah."

   "Well, I hope you can carry it off.  But you've still got to have a bath
before you go to bed."

   Again, she held out her hand to me.  I took it this time.  We had never
really bathed together but I had fantasized about it.  I never imagined we
would do it while I was too exhausted to play with her.

   I turned loose of her hand long enough to lock the door to the adjoining
room.  The guy in the room next to mine was another trainee.  We weren't
usually concerned with privacy when we used our shared bathroom but tonight
I didn't want anybody interrupting whatever Anna had in mind.  As we went
in the small bathroom, she turned and grinned at me.

   "For a minute there I thought you were trying to imitate one of the
Three Stooges."

   She got in the shower first and adjusted the water.  The shower was a
small one and not intended for two at once but I didn't mind when we bumped
into each other.  She turned me around and around while the warm water
cascaded down on us.  I felt her breasts against me more than once but my
penis just wasn't interested.  She started to shampoo my hair while we were
standing up but I was too tall for her to do it comfortably.

   "You're too tall.  Can you kneel down?" she asked.

   Could I?  Of course I could, especially since that would put my eyes
just about even with her belly button.  I knelt in front of her, my hands
on her hips and my knees between her spread legs.  I shut my eyes, leaned
forward, kissed her on her stomach, and let her scrub my head.

   "Tilt your head up," she said, all too soon.  "Keep your eyes closed
until I've washed your face and rinsed you off."

   I knelt there, face uplifted, while she scrubbed my face with a soapy
cloth.  She got soap up my nose when she washed my mustache and I turned my
head to one side and blew it out.  Then she made me stand up and she washed
me the same way I always wash myself: from the top down.  She scrubbed my
arms and shoulders, chest and back, genitals and butt.  She pushed my
foreskin back and lingered longer than necessary on the head of my penis. I
could tell it was about to respond when she stopped and made me turn
around. I even bent over when she told me to so she could wash the crack of
my ass.  She squatted down and washed my legs and then made me lift my feet
so she could do them too.  I washed myself the same way but it was a lot
more fun letting her do it.

   She almost took off my skin drying me.  I just stood there, arms out to
the sides as she commanded, while she rubbed me.  When she got below the
waist, drying my penis and testicles, I suppose she was a little gentler.
When she finished, she wrapped her hand around my penis and slowly stroked
it, uncovering and recovering the head.  It finally responded appropriately
and began to swell and lift a little.

   "Well, I'm glad to see there's some life left in you, David," she said.
"When I was washing it, I thought it was dead for a while."

   As we left the bathroom, she picked up my hairbrush from the sink.  In
the bedroom, she pushed me toward the bed and said "Sit!  I'm going to
brush your hair."

   I sat there staring at her flat stomach and then down at the little dark
hairy patch between her thighs and then up at the underside of her
beautiful breasts while she brushed my hair.  She carefully parted my long
hair in the center of my head and brushed it down over my ears.

   "I don't part it," I said.  "Just brush it straight back."

   "I know.  I think maybe I like the way you look better with it parted
and then brushed back on each side.  When you come back, will you let me
experiment with your hair a little, to see which way I like best?"

   "Sure.  I'll let you shave it bald if you want to."

   "No.  I like you with long hair.  You're quite a handsome man, David.  I
was afraid of you when you asked to eat dinner with me.  I was sure you
must have a long list of conquests and you just wanted to add one more."

   "Anna, I've told you why I don't have much experience with women," I
said, lifting my head to look her in the face.  "For years, I've had a goal
that didn't leave me much time for women.  Anyway, I didn't think a woman
would be willing to give me what I wanted."

   "And what's that?"

   "It's what you've given me, Anna.  Your love.  From the first time I saw
you, I had a feeling that you could love me if I just gave you a chance. 
I'm so glad I did."

   "Well, I'm about to give you something else," she said.  "I want you to
stretch out on the bed on your stomach."

   She straddled me, sitting on my butt.  I didn't know what she was going
to do but it didn't matter.

   "Would you scratch my back?" I whispered.  "Between my shoulder blades,
a little to my right?"

   "I was going to give you a massage but I can do that first," she
answered.

   She scratched me where my back was itching and then gradually used her
nails in a bigger area.  I moaned a couple of times.

   "Do you like that?" she whispered.

   "Yeah!  Do me all over."

   "Do you mean that?"

   "Yeah!"

   She scratched my shoulders, my arms, my back, then moved down, and used
her nails on my butt and legs.  I'd never dreamed that being scratched
could be such an intensely pleasurable, even erotic, experience.  I didn't
complain even when she tugged on the hair that crept out of the crack of my
ass.

   "Turn over," she said, all too soon.

   I did and then, when she didn't resume scratching me, I opened my eyes
and looked up at her.  On my stomach, my penis had been pressed downwards
and had become swollen but not erect.  She sat there on it, ignoring it,
and so I tried to ignore it too.

   "Do you have an antibiotic ointment?" she asked.  "I think I should put
something on the scratches on your chest and stomach."

   I turned as much as I could with her sitting astride me, pulled open the
drawer of the bedside chest, and let her look in it.  She lifted off me to
retrieve the ointment and, when she sat back down, she looked between her
legs and then carefully positioned my penis underneath her vulva.  I lay
there with my eyes open, looking at her beautiful face, so aware of the
heat and moistness of her vulva against the underside of my penis, while
she played nurse with me.

   "I'm not going to scratch you on your chest and stomach," she said. 
"You've got enough scratches and bruises there already.  I'll just do your
shoulders on this side.  "

   I shut my eyes and let her do her magic.  She scratched me on my
shoulders first and then made me squirm when she did my sides.  Finally she
moved downward so her butt was below my knees and scratched my thighs.  My
penis swelled into an almost-full erection but not stiff enough to raise it
over my stomach.  I opened my eyes slightly and saw that she was looking
down at it, smiling slightly.

   "Have you got any lotion?" she asked.  Did I?  Of course I did.  In the
dry desert climate, everybody used lotion.  There was even a shelf in the
mess hall where we could get a free bottle.  The lotion may have been
generic Army-issue but it did a good job of relieving dry skin.

   "Yeah, there's a bottle in the bathroom.  It's good stuff."

   "OK.  Turn over on your stomach again," she said.  "I want to do your
back first."

   She put some muscle into rubbing my shoulders and back with lotion and
made me groan but it was a pleasurable groan.  Then she turned around and
rubbed my thighs and calves until I was limp.  Finally she sat astride my
back and rubbed my butt.  My penis had been bent back between my legs when
I lay down but, as she rubbed me, it became too uncomfortable to ignore it
any longer.  She didn't say anything when I raised my hips, reached under,
and turned it to point upward.

   Suddenly she goosed me in my ribs on both sides and made me squirm.  She
held on while I bucked like a horse trying to throw its rider.  She giggled
like a schoolgirl when I finally relaxed.

   "Anna, I'm a very happy man," I whispered.  "I guess I'm the happiest
I've ever been in my life."

   "What's made you so happy, David?" she asked.

   "Just being with you like this.  You goosing me.  Rubbing my back.  Your
pussy drooling a river down the crack of my ass.  I like being with you
like this."

   "My pussy's not drooling.  It's bone dry."

   "Yeah, sure it is.  I've got a bone that might make it a lot wetter."

   "Are you going to give it to me?"

   "Yeah!  Friday night!  I'm going to give it to you maybe a half dozen
times."

   "Well, every time you do, I'm going to take the bone out of it."

   I relaxed again, closed my eyes, and let her rub my thighs and calves.
She even bent my knee upward and rubbed lotion on my feet.  I felt like the
luckiest man alive.

   "Je t'aime, ma chérie," I whispered.

   "What did you say?" she asked.

   "Je t'aime, ma Mimi,"

   "Is that all I am to you, your pussycat?" she giggled.

   "Man asheqet hastam," I whispered.

   "Your Farsi isn't very good, David.  I can't understand you."

   "Dooset daram!" I growled.

   "I can't understand you when you speak Farsi, David.  Did you just say I
bomb you?"

   "I love you, Anna," I said loudly.  "Can you understand that?"

   "Oh, yes, I understand you now," she said, and giggled again.

   When she told me to turn over, she still didn't say anything when she
saw my penis now fully erect and lifted over my stomach and drooling a
clear drop.  She just straddled it, sat on it, and began to rub my chest
and shoulders.  I lay there with my eyes almost closed, feeling the heat
and wetness of her vulva on my penis, while she rubbed my chest and stomach
and tried to pretend she wasn't sitting on something that was as hard as it
gets.

   "Do a crunch," she whispered.

   I put my hands behind my head, lifted, tightened my stomach muscles, and
held it.  She ran her hands up and down on my stomach so I kept holding it,
letting her play.  She seemed to be counting something and running one
finger up and down.  After a minute or so, I relaxed and put my head back
down.

   "What were you doing?" I asked.

   "Nothing.  Just counting your six-pack.  You really do have one, you
know."

   "Yeah, I work at it.  What were you doing with your finger, running it
up and down on my stomach?"

   "You've got some big blood vessels running down toward your legs, the
left and right iliac arteries, at least that's what I learned in nursing
school.  I think yours must have some really big branches connecting to
your dick"

   "Naah, there's one big special artery that goes directly from my heart
to my penis.  It's called the penis heartisimus expanderosa.  When my
heart's full of love for you, it makes my penis swell up." I answered her
with a straight face but, when she looked at me and grinned, I couldn't
help but grin back.

   "Bullshit, David!  Don't try to get smart with me."

   "Yes, ma'am."

   Finally she moved backward a little, sitting on my thighs, and looked
down at my penis.

   "I'm going to have that damn thing in me Friday night, David," she
whispered.  "I'm going to fuck you until it's as limp as a wet noodle."

   "That'll never happen," I whispered back.  "I want to fuck you so bad
I'll still be going strong at daylight on Saturday."

   "Yeah, we'll see," she whispered, grinning down at me.  "When we make
love, will you let me do something I've been dreaming about since you took
me to your magic valley?"

   "What?"

   "I want you to lay there like you are now and let me ride you again, but
I want your dick inside me instead of under me.  I want to feel this damn
thing buried to your balls inside me.  Will you let me?"

   "Yeah, you can go for a ride just as soon as I get my face out from
between your legs."

   "Why is your face going to be between my legs?"

   "I want to explore your magic valley." I stuck out my tongue and wiggled
it.

   She grinned so wide two dimples appeared on her cheeks.  "And then
you'll let me go for a long ride?"

   "Yeah."

   I thought for a minute about what she had just asked me.  I didn't want
our relationship to be one where she had to ask my permission about
anything, especially sex.  I wanted her to know that she would always be
free to do what she wanted, especially when we were making love.

   "Anna, I had a dream one night," I said.  "We were together somewhere
and you were standing beside me.  We were naked and I had my arm around
your shoulders and you had yours around my waist.  We were somewhere on a
mountain looking out over the ocean or maybe it was a sea like the
Mediterranean.  I don't know why I dreamed it or what it meant but I want
us to be like that."

   "What do you mean?"

   "Anna, you don't have to ask my permission to do something.  I don't
want a woman who walks a few paces behind me.  I don't want to be your
master, especially when it comes to sex.  I want a partner, not a mistress.
I want you standing beside me facing the world with me.  I don't want
always to be on top when we're making love.  Sometimes, I want you on top
of me, riding me."

   "That's good, David," she whispered, smiling, "because that's what I
want too.  Now, specifically what do you want to do Friday night?"

   "I want to lick your pussy `til you can't talk and then I want to fuck
you `til you can't walk," I said.

   "That'll never happen!"

   "I love you, Anna," I whispered softly.  "I love you and I want to fuck
you and make love to you and be with you and hold you forever.  We're going
to have a lifetime of loving each other and then fucking and loving each
other and fucking and never grow tired of it."

   "Well, that I can agree on," she answered, looking down at my penis
again.

   "Don't you want rub it with lotion too?" I asked.

   "No, I don't," she answered, looking at my face.  "I don't want lotion
in my mouth."

   "You don't have to do that, Anna," I said, but I wanted her to do it.

   "I know I don't, David," she said.  "I want to.  The girls have been
asking me whether I've given you a blowjob and swallowed.  They said you'd
love me forever if I did."

   "I'll love you forever whether you do it or not, and I really mean
that."

   She pushed my legs apart, knelt between them, wrapped one hand around my
penis, cupped the other hand under my testicles, and looked down at what
she had in her hands.

   "Do you really not know how fucking sexy you are, David?" she asked.  "I
look at your body, all hard and muscular and slim and so damn masculine.  I
see your big balls hanging down between your legs, all hot and heavy and
making all that fucking testosterone and sperm, and your big dick standing
up over your belly, just waiting to squirt out a load of semen.  I want to
have that damn thing all the way in me, `til your balls keep it from going
any farther.  It makes me so damn horny I could scream."

   "I think I'm just as horny as you are, Anna.  Do you still want to wait
`til Friday night?"

   "Yeah, I want to wait.  I want you all rested and ready.  I want a
king-size bed under me.  Now shut up and let me make love to your penis...I
mean your dick.  Now you've got me saying penis."

   She leaned over me and that glorious dark hair obscured my view of what
she was about to do.

   I lay there flat on my back with my eyes closed, hands on my stomach,
with Anna kneeling between my spread legs, one hand cupped under my
testicles, the other wrapped around the shaft of my penis, her mouth moving
up and down on the head.  I lay there in heaven and let her suck me.  I
knew I wasn't going to last long.

   She moved so that she was straddling my right leg and, at the same time,
I felt her hand turn loose of my testicles.  I did another crunch and rose
up to see what she was doing.  At first I couldn't see anything different.
I could feel her hand still stroking up and down on my penis and her mouth
still alternating between sucking on the head and sliding up and down on
it. Then I saw that her left arm was extended back under her body.

   "What are you doing?" I whispered.

   She didn't answer.

   "Anna, what are you doing?" I whispered again.

   She took her mouth off me long enough to answer.

   "I'm sucking your dick, stupid," she said.  "What the hell do you think
I'm doing?"

   "What else?"

   "I'm doing me at the same time I'm doing you, damn it," she said.  "Now
shut up!"

   I put my head back down on the pillow and tried to picture how she was
doing herself.  A fleeting memory of a summer afternoon in France came back
to me, when I watched in fascination while fifteen year-old Gabrielle
rubbed the top area of her vulva in a circular motion while she watched
twelve year-old Danielle stroke my penis.  At the time, I didn't know that
was where her clitoris was located and I had wondered why she was doing it.


   Now I wondered how Anna was doing it.  Moving her head and her hand up
and down on my penis and at the same time rubbing her clitoris round and
round?  I usually couldn't rub my stomach and pat my head at the same time.


   "This weekend, will you show me how you do yourself?" I whispered. 
"Teach me how to do it for you.  I want to learn."

   She grunted once.  I took that as a yes.  I figured a no would have
taken two grunts.

   I wanted her to suck me off and then swallow my semen but at the same
time I didn't want her to do anything she didn't want to do.  I decided
just to leave it up to her but to warn her when I was about to come.  Time
stood still and the rest of the world faded away except for what she was
doing to me.  Nothing existed except for my penis and the feeling of her
hand and mouth on it.  I could feel my orgasm building and I knew I was
almost to the point where it was inevitable.  I had just opened my mouth to
warn her when something strange happened.

   I felt like I was sliding or maybe dissolving or melting but I knew I
wasn't moving.  I felt dizzy and disoriented.  Then my body gave a quick
lurch, the same sort of jerk that happens occasionally when I fall asleep.
At the same instant, I felt the first agonizing spurt of semen leaping from
my penis into her mouth and then...

   Suddenly, I was between a man's legs, kneeling and bent over with my
eyes still closed.  My hands weren't clutching the sheet on each side of me
anymore.  One was between my legs with my longest finger rubbing my
clitoris, another hand was moving up and down on the shaft of his penis,
and my mouth was around the big head.  I felt it throbbing in orgasm and a
hot spurt flew out on the back of my tongue.  At the same time, the first
wrenching convulsion of my own orgasm grabbed me.  I panicked and opened my
eyes.

   I wasn't me any more.  I was in Anna.  No, I was Anna.  I was looking
down at me, at David's hard stomach and brown pubic hair.  And
I...she...was sucking my...his...dick.  In a split second, the sliding
started again, the moving feeling resumed, and I somehow jerked out of her
and back into myself and I was again flat on my back watching her.  All I
could see was the screen of her dark hair shielding what she was doing to
my penis with her mouth.  She held her head and hand still while my body
spurted out the rest of my semen.

   Finally, she looked up at me with eyes as big as saucers, sat back on
her heels, and just stared at me.  She was breathing just as deeply as I
was.  She blinked rapidly, shook her head from side to side, and moved so
that she was on her hands and knees over me, looking down at my face.  She
swallowed, once, twice, three times, and then stared down at me for a
moment.

   "What just happened, David?" she whispered.

   "I don't know, Anna," I whispered back.  "I was you for a split second!"

   "And I was you!  I don't believe it but I know how it feels when a man
comes!  It was so good, David, almost as good as when I come!  We came at
the same time and we weren't even fucking!  When you squirted in my mouth,
I came and it was as good as I've ever felt and then, for a second, I
couldn't tell whether it was me coming or you!"

   "Yeah, I don't believe it either but it happened!  I felt your semen
squirt out on my tongue and then I was back in me.  I suppose it was my
semen squirting out on your tongue but I felt it, Anna.  I really did!"

   "Are we crazy, David?  Just for split second, I was in you when you
started coming and then I was back in me and I was still coming."

   "I don't know what it was, Anna, but we shared something that was real.
We're not crazy.  Maybe I came in your mouth but I was in you when I did
and I can still taste it in my mouth."

   She smiled at that and shook her head.

   "Well, I can still taste it too.  The taste isn't too bad but it took
some will power to swallow that glop.  I've still got some in my mouth."

   "Anna, when a woman comes, what does it feel like on the inside, kind of
low down in your abdomen?  I felt something when I was in y0u, kind of like
something in my lower belly gasping.  I know it wasn't me because I've
never felt that before when I come."

   She laughed.  "David, when a woman has an orgasm, her cervix convulses
and the external os dilates.  That's probably what you felt.  I suppose
it's comparable to the epididymis in your balls contracting to send all
that semen out of your penis."

   "I knew what a cervix is.  What's an os?"

   "Os me no questions and I'll tell you no lies."

   `Well, you're a nurse.  I'm just a fucking warrior.  How am I supposed
to know such things?"

   "The os is the opening in the cervix that goes from the vagina to the
uterus, David.  Some researchers think, when the os dilates, it sucks the
sperm from the vagina into the womb.  They think it helps a woman get
pregnant.  They called it the upsuck theory of female orgasm.  When I read
about that in college, I got a really big laugh.  Damn male researchers and
their fantasies.  Now, shut up for a minute."

   "Do you think it could suck the head of my penis into your womb?  I'll
bet that would help you get pregnant."

   "If you don't shut up..."

   She leaned over me with her face a foot or so from mine, her brows
scrunched up in a curious frown.  Her lips were moving but tightly closed.
I saw her cheek bulge out from her tongue.  Then she caught my chin between
her thumb and a finger and pulled my mouth open.  I held it open and
watched her while she moved her head slightly so her mouth was directly
above mine.  When she spit out what I knew was some more of my semen,
directly into my waiting mouth, I didn't object.  She was looking intently
in my eyes so I closed my mouth, swirled her saliva and my semen around,
and then swallowed noisily.

   She stayed there, her face a foot or so above mine, looking into my
eyes, grinning slightly, for a moment.  Then she slid down, partly on me,
with her head on my shoulder, her arm across my chest, one of her legs over
one of mine.  I didn't know what to say and I don't suppose she did either.

   "It's impossible, David," she whispered after a while.  "It didn't
really happen; did it?"

   She straightened my penis so that it was pointing toward my navel and
then cupped one soft hand around my testicles and held them.

   "Impossible or not, it happened, Anna," I answered.  "I was you for a
split second and I guess you were me."

   "David, do you...do you think we could ever become one when we're doing
it?  I mean, do you suppose we could merge into each other when we're
making love so we're not separate anymore and you're not just you and I'm
not just me but we're the same...the same something or other?"

   I didn't have to think about that for more than a second.  "Anna, maybe
that's what we're both trying to do.  Maybe it's what we both want and
need. Maybe we can really join together this weekend.  I'd love that.  I'd
love to be one with you, even if it's just for a few seconds."

   "Me too, David," she whispered.

   We lay there in the darkened room, quietly holding each other close, and
I suppose we were both still thinking of what we had experienced.  I had
never heard of anything like it - swapping places while having sex or maybe
merging into one.  I wanted it to happen again, even if there did seem to
be a faint taste of semen, my own semen, on the back of my tongue and it
was there before Anna spit in my mouth.  I wanted to know what Anna felt
when I made love to her.  I wanted to know what she was experiencing so
that I could love her the way she wanted to be loved.  I wanted to be one
with her.

   She pressed closer to me, moved her leg so that it was over both of
mine, and brought her hand up against my cheek.  She rubbed her fingers
against my cheek, feeling my almost two-day beard.

   "Did you shave this morning?" she asked.

   "No, I haven't shaved since yesterday morning.  We had to be on the bus
by seven o'clock and I didn't think it mattered.  Why?"

   "I'm glad you didn't try to get your face between my thighs tonight,"
she answered.

   "Friday night, I'll shave again after we get to...the hotel?" I almost
said Flagstaff.

   "I like to feel your face like this, David," she said.  "It's so damn
male.  I just don't want to feel it rubbing my thighs.  Of course, there's
no good reason for your face to be between my legs, is there?"

   I didn't have a good answer to her teasing.  I just took a deep breath
or two and relaxed even more.  She turned her face up, kissed me on the
other cheek, and then squirmed again, trying to get closer to me.

   "This is so good," I whispered.

   "What?"

   "Just laying here, being close to you, thinking about sleeping with you
this weekend...it's so good, Anna.  I want to sleep with you and hold you
close for the rest of my life.  Would you sleep naked with me?"

   "I'd love to but wouldn't you like to sleep with me in a flannel
nightgown when it's cold and you can get your hand under it and....?"

   "Yeah, that would be nice.  Maybe I could have a nightshirt.  Men don't
wear nightgowns, do they?  And you could get your hand under it and..."

   "I wonder what I'd find."

   "Anna, I wasn't entirely truthful with you about something," I
whispered. "About why I don't have much experience with women."

   "And you're going to tell me the truth now?" she whispered back.

   "I told you I didn't have time for women because I was so dedicated to
one thing - getting revenge for my father and mother.  Well, that's true
but it's not the only reason.  My first year at the Academy, when I was
seventeen, a bunch of guys decided we all needed to get laid.  They just
didn't tell me until they found the whorehouse.  I didn't want to do it and
I didn't want them to think I was gay so I invented a girl friend as an
excuse.  They all went to rooms with different women while I sat there in
the reception room and got teased to death by a group of half-naked
prostitutes."

   "Why didn't you want to do it?"

   "I didn't want to pay a woman to have sex with me, Anna.  I wanted sex
but I wanted it on my terms.  I wanted a woman who cared at least a little
about me and wanted to have sex with me.  I wanted love to go along with
sex, Anna.  I suppose I was brought up to have an old-fashioned attitude
toward love and sex by my parents and grandparents.  I still feel the same
way and I guess I always will."

   "I feel the same way, David," she said.  "Don't you think a lot of guys
are just like you?"

   "I don't know.  I suppose they just hide it if they feel like I do. 
We're supposed to be able to fuck at the drop of a pair of panties."

   "Yeah, some guys are in such a hurry they just push the panties to one
side."

   "Anna, I remember something my father told me when I was about ten or
eleven years old.  It was warm weather and we were all sleeping in the
carriage house.  I had gone to bed before my parents did and then sometime
during the night I was awakened by noise from their bedroom."

   "And you laid there and listened to them making love, didn't you?" she
interrupted me.

   "Yeah, and I tried to imagine what they were doing and I masturbated," I
said.  "The next morning I was awakened by sounds from the kitchen and,
when I want in there, my mother was preparing breakfast and singing while
she did it.  She told me to go to their bedroom and drag my father out of
bed.  In their bedroom, my father was sleeping on his side, naked with
nothing over him.  He had a huge erection; at least it was huge to me
then."

   "And now you've got one just like it."

   "Yeah.  Quit interrupting.  I'm almost to the good part.  I went around
behind him and shook him by the shoulder.  He rolled on his back and
stretched and then opened his eyes and said `Oh, it's you.  I thought you
were your mother.' Then he laid there with his big penis pointing at his
navel and told me that he and my mother had made love the previous night. I
told him I'd heard them.  Then he told me, and this is the good part, that
he felt like the luckiest man in the world because he and my mother really
loved each other and they really enjoyed good sex with each other.  He said
I shouldn't settle for anything less when I was grown: a good woman to love
and then years of good sex with her.  He said that was as good as life
gets."

   "Did you really jack off?  When you were only ten or eleven?"

   I reached my hand around to her breast and kissed the top of her head
before I answered her.

   "Yeah, my dick was already long enough to stick out when my hand was
wrapped around it and I could have orgasms even if I couldn't ejaculate
anything."

   "I wish I could have seen you."

   "Anna, do you know what I mean when I talk about letting the beast
loose?"

   "I think so.  I've never experienced it but I hear some of the other
girls talk like they have."

   "One of the girls I was with...I was in a hurry and I guess I let the
beast loose too soon.  She got angry with me.  She said I hurt her.  I
don't want to hurt you."

   "Don't worry about it, David.  You've got a big dick but it's not that
big.  You probably just fucked her before she was ready.  Just be slow and
patient with me and make sure my pussy is all wet before you try to get
your dick in me.  You won't hurt me.  Anyway, just as soon as you let your
beast loose, I'm going to let mine loose too."

   "Do you have a beast too?  I thought all you had was a little pussycat,
a petit mimi."

   "Don't get smart with me, David.  Why do you want to tell me this now?"

   "Anna, I love you and I know you love me.  I've found the woman for me.
When I come back, will you marry me?" I whispered.

   She was silent for a moment and then she whispered, "Yes, David, I'll
marry you.  I want to marry you!"

   "I want so much to spend my life loving you.  I want us to have children
together.  I want us to grow old fucking and loving each other.  I want to
watch our kids grow up.  Am I being ridiculous, even thinking of bringing
kids into this crazy world?  I don't want them to have to do the things
we're doing."

   "They won't, David.  We'll do our best to make sure they don't.  I don't
know how but we will."

   "When I come back, could we go away somewhere by ourselves?" I asked. 
"I'd like to go somewhere in the mountains where we would be alone with
each other.  No TV, no telephones, just us, maybe trout fishing, maybe long
walks exploring the woods.  We could get naked and play in mountain streams
and freeze our butts off.  We could fuck ourselves into exhaustion.  Would
you go with me?"

   `Yes, David.  If that's what you want, I want it too.  I'll go anywhere
with you."

   "If you want to go somewhere or do something else for a honeymoon, just
let me know.  I'll go with you and I won't complain no matter what it is or
where it is.  We can go off by ourselves later."

   "I'll think about it but right now your idea sounds good to me."

   "How much do they weigh?"

   "What?"

   "My testicles.  You've been cupping them in your hand and sort of
lifting them like you're trying to see how much they weigh."

   "Oh, I don't know.  About five pounds apiece, I suppose.  Do you want me
to stop?"

   "Don't ever stop!" I said.  "I love to feel your hands on me."

   "I love it too, David," she said.  "I love fooling around with your play
things.  I like your balls but I think I like your dick more.  I like being
able to make it get hard."

   She moved her hand from underneath my testicles and wrapped it around my
penis.  It had lost all its stiffness after I came but it was still
engorged.  I didn't know what else she wanted to do but I knew I could come
again if she wanted to do something else.  But first I needed to get rid of
some of the glasses of tea I'd had with dinner."

   "I've got to pee," I said.

   "Yeah, me too," she responded.

   She pushed away from me and ran in the bathroom before I could get out
of bed.  She didn't shut the door so I stood there in the doorway while she
sat on the commode, knees spread, and peed down into the water.  It was the
first time I'd ever seen a woman do it.  She wrapped paper around her hand,
reached back between her legs, and wiped herself dry.

   When she relinquished the throne, I took my turn.  She watched intently
while I stood there and pissed and pissed and pissed and then shuddered in
relief.  She grabbed a damp towel and washcloth off the shower door and I
knew she had something else in store for me.

   Back in my bed, she made me lay down on my back and she again curled up
against me on her side, her head on my chest, one leg over both of mine. 
When she wrapped her hand around my penis, I shut my eyes and surrendered.
I soon had another hard-on for her to play with.

   She stopped for a moment and took my right hand in hers.  I raised my
head to see what she was doing.

   "Bend your fingers and try to touch your wrist," she said.

   I didn't know why but I did what she told me.  She bent my two middle
fingers a little further and then pressed them against the heel of my hand.
"Hold that for a minute," she instructed, and leaned over toward my bedside
chest.  I felt the touch of something just at the end of my fingers and
raised my head again.  She had a felt-tip pin and was drawing a line across
the heel of my hand.

   "What are you doing?" I asked, mystified.

   "I'm conducting a scientific experiment," she answered, and then
giggled. "I'm going to see if there's any correlation between how long your
dick is when it's hard and how far your fingertips can extend toward your
wrist."

   She took my hand in hers and held it so that it was extended beside my
penis.  I waited for the verdict.

   "Well?" I said, when she didn't seem to reach a conclusion.

   "I don't know how I'm supposed to measure it," she said.  "You dick
actually goes back between your legs and the root extends almost to your
asshole.  At least that's how far back it's hard.  Maybe I'm supposed to
measure how far it sticks straight out from your belly.  Do you think
that's the right way to do it?"

   "Damned if I know," I answered.

   She held my penis straight up, pressed my hand against one side of it,
and then sat there looking at it.  I lay there looking at her, loving her
for being silly with me.  I'd never heard of any correlation like she said.
She wiggled my hand around, pressed it against my penis, and looked at it
from a couple of different angles.

   "Well?" I questioned again.

   "They're not the same," she finally said.  "Your dick is actually about
a quarter inch longer than your hand.  How long is it?  Do you know?"

   "No, I haven't measured it since I was a kid.  Mine's a little bigger
than most guys'.  Is it too big?  I'll cut some off for you if it is. 
Maybe I'll get circumcised."

   She looked at me again and then laughed.  "Don't your dare!  Anyway, I
wasn't measuring your foreskin.  I had that pushed back when I measured
it."

   "Don't worry," I said.  "I love every inch of my penis, even my
foreskin. "I can't imagine going through life with the head always
exposed."

   "A big love-drop is oozing out of your urethra," she whispered.  "May I
have it?"

   "Love drop?"

   "You know, David.  It's the secretion from your Cowper's glands."

   "My what?"

   "Your Cowper's glands.  They're two little glands located below your
prostate.  They discharge a component of the seminal fluid into your
urethra.  They're homologous to the Bartholin's glands in a female."

   "Damn, I love it when you talk dirty to me, Anna.  Did you learn that in
nursing school?"

   "Of course, David.  You guys don't have any secrets from nurses."

   "I've just never heard it called love drops.  I don't guess I've ever
heard it called anything, except maybe pre-cum.  I figured it just happened
for lubrication."

   "I think love-drops is a good name for it," she said.  "That's what most
of the girls call it."

   "Well, you can have it but you don't have to give me another blow-job,
Anna," I said.  "I'll love you forever after just one good one."

   "I'm not going to do that again, David" she said.  "I'm going to jack
you off this time.  I want to see you squirt."

   "OK, I guess I can do that for you, if you really want me to."

   She moved down so that her head was blocking my view and I felt her take
just the head of my penis in her mouth.  I was content to lie there and let
her play.  She wasn't trying to bring me to orgasm this time.  It was like
she was just loving the head of my penis, licking it, sucking on it, and
sliding her lips up and down on it, all slowly and gently.  After a few
minutes, she moved back up with head on my shoulder.

   "Your love drops taste sweet, David.  It's not like semen at all.  I
think I rather like sucking your dick.  Are your ready for me to jack you
off this time?"

   "Yeah, I suppose so.  If that's really what you want to do," I said,
pretending that I didn't really care whether she did or not.

   She squirted lotion on my penis and testicles, then rubbed it all over,
and then started stroking my penis again, slowly at first, gradually
getting faster and faster.  I cooperated by tensing my stomach and leg
muscles.  It didn't take long before I was squirting out another load of
semen.  I heard her grunt and I raised my head and looked at her.  She was
looking up at me with a string of semen across her right cheek, grinning so
wide that she had two dimples again.  I put my head back down and closed my
eyes again.  She wiped my stomach and chest clean with the cloth and then
dried me with the towel.  She had really given me something to help me
sleep.  After coming twice, I was totally relaxed and ready for sleep.

   "Are you ready to go to sleep, David?" she whispered.

   My body jerked involuntarily and I realized that I was about to lose
myself in sleep.

   "Not quite.  There's one more thing I want to do."

   "What?"

   "Promise me you won't laugh."

   "I won't."

   I turned on my side facing her and slid down on the bed, interlacing my
long legs with her long legs, my right hand on her hip.  Her breasts were
right in front of my face.

   "I want you to nurse me like you would a baby.  I want you to sing me a
lullaby.  I want to go to sleep with my mouth on your breast."

   "Is it OK if I just hum you a lullaby?" she whispered softly.
   TO BE CONTINUED: