THE ATONEMENTS OF JOANIE: PENANCE FOR A NUN BY PENT Part 2 Getting up to my room I locked the door then lay on my bed gazing across at dear Mama's picture until I could bear it no longer and looked away to the book that Uncle Penty had given me. As I began to turn the leaves the pictures sprang out at me! They were simple black and white line drawings and very clearly showed the penances that nuns had to undergo at that ancient priory when they had disobeyed the rules . . . The first pictures showed a young nun bending over a big table and holding onto it; her habit was folded up to show her bare from the waist down . . . and a monk was spanking her plump bottom with his hand. Another picture showed a young nun being spanked by a monk with a piece of wood like a paddle -in another picture, with a cane -in another, with a bunch of straight twigs. It must have hurt the young nuns terribly! I gazed again at Mama's picture and wished it was me being beaten like the pictures showed -and crying out in pain as the canes cut into my bottom as a strong man beat me again and again . . . The thought made my spine tingle and I clenched my cheeks together to make me tingle down there too . . . In the next pictures a young nun was lying face down and naked full length on the refectory table with a pillow under her middle pushing her bottom upwards. Four nuns held her wrists and ankles while a monk beat her back and bottom and legs with a thin switch. And the next picture showed the monk beating her spread-eagle again on the table with a bunch of thin switches tied together with string. The young nun's body writhed and contorted on the table in pain and her face showed her screaming in agony with deep cuts and bruises all over her back and legs and bottom . . . I gazed at these pictures for a long time wriggling and squirming face down on my pillow with my cheeks clenching and unclenching as they made me tingle unbearably while I could almost feel the searing pains borne by the young nun. And the horrible monk looked as though he was enjoying the pain and torment he was inflictingwhich made me glad - and I wished it was me being beaten . . . I looked across again at Mama's picture and silently begged her to help me atone tonight in the way I wanted -most painfully -for her own dear sake . . . The very next page showed a young nun standing and tied naked facing an upright wood frame in the chapel, and her head thrown back with her mouth gagged and eyes rolling in torment as a nun was beating her back, while a queue of other nuns waited behind her -and an old monk was supervising the penance . . . As I drank in the whole scene I truly felt the agony of the penance being done by that naked young nun in the chapel . . . Lying back on my bed I watched as monks hammered together an even more fearsome framework of wood ready for my own penance. I would have to lie horizontal on this frame flat on my face legs and arms spread wide and an older monk was practicing with a lash made of many strips of thin leather which he whirled fiercely around her head before bringing it down on a sack of meal - CRACKKKKKKKKK The noise of the hammering became louder and louder until I woke . . . it was Blossom knocking at my door and calling: "Are you all right, Miss Joanie? Open the door! I've got your lunch! Wake up now! Come and open the door! Miss Joanie!!!"" "All right, Blossom! I'm coming!!" I threw on my dressing gown and rushed and opened the door: Blossom made her way across the room and put the tray she was carrying down on the table. After making sure I was all right and had just been asleep Blossom went out shutting the door again as she left. She had brought me a bowl of hot soup with bread. My sleep had left me hungry - I swallowed the hot soup eagerly and ate all the bread -the first time in days that I'd felt at all hungry. I was feeling happier all ready in anticipation of doing my penance, and I gazed again at the picture of dear Mama . . . I hadn't quite got to the end of the book of "Penances for a Nun" and picked it up to look at the rest of the pictures . . . There were many that showed nuns kneeling in penance painfully on stone floors and wooden steps. Some out in the open in stocks and pillories and some of the penitent nuns were fastened there naked while it rained . . . In some drawings the shadows moved from one drawing to the next to show the passing of time while an older nun sat watching the penitent hour after hour . . . But the last pictures in the book of "Penances for a Nun" were the most terrible. The first showed a young nun wearing a black cloak and barefoot being led by a monk with a rope around her neck walking through the snow at night and followed by several other nuns carrying candles and singing . . . Next picture showed the nuns standing and still singing as they watch while the monk tied the penitent's hands high up to a post in the snowy ground. The third picture showed the nuns singing again to cover the cries and lamentations of the penitent as they walked away led by the monk carrying the young nun's cloak while she stands naked in the snow at night shivering weeping and a wolf on a distant hill is silhouetted against the full moon . . . howling. The fourth picture shows the moon moved - later -and the young nun is being carried back to the convent with her black cloak over her again while she is stiff and unconscious from the icy cold . . . In the fifth and last picture in the book the naked young penitent is being warmed back to life by two large and equally naked nuns standing one behind her and the other in front. They clasp the freezing-cold young nun in a sandwich between them as they stand before a large open fire while the monk holds his hand up in blessing to show that all is forgiven to the young nun following her penance . . . and the young nun looks toward the monk with an expression of beatific ecstasy on her face... I gazed long and lovingly at dear Mama's picture as I looked forward to being free of all need for further atonement after tonight when I had done the penances that dear Uncle Penty had promised me . . . I sat lost in thought as to what these penances might be when Penty's friends came to play poker to decide who was going to give me each of the punishments . . . My imagination wandered amongst all the pictures I'd drunk in... and I must have dozed off again because the next I knew -Blossom was knocking on my door again with: "Here's a nice cup of tea for you Miss Joanie! and some bread and butter -it's your favorite current bread that you like so much!" "That is a beautiful picture of your poor dear mother there! What a lovely kind lady she was. She looks down on us all now from a much happier place, Miss Joanie, I'm sure!!" "I am just getting ready to go out for the evening and Mister Embury says I am not to come back before midnight -he has something private going on he says and I'm not to disturb anyone when I do come in. So you just be careful and mind your manners tonight young lady!" "And I'll say "Goodnight" now Miss Joanie!" "Good night Blossom! And thank you for the tea and everything . . . You are so nice to me!" I went and hugged her comfortable shoulders and kissed her chubby cheek . . . I enjoyed the bread and butter and the tea -then I began to get myself ready just like Uncle Penty had said. After using the toilet I ran a hot tub and made myself smell nice with the soap. My thick bath towel was warm from the hot pipes and it felt lovely on my skin . . . As I stood in front of the long mirror in my bedroom I looked at my growing body and I used a hand mirror as I turned to see myself from the side and back. My frame was still slender and little boobies had only just started to show I didn't think anyone else even noticed the tiny breasts that were beginning to sprout on me . . . And if they did I would have been mortally embarrassed: My breasts often felt so painful at times as they slowly changed shape and the pains thrilled me strangely . . It was a curious exciting kind of agony I felt if I slapped them! My bottom was another matter though . . . my body and arms and long legs were still slender but my bottom jutted out firm and round behind me. I ran my hands up and down over it slowly enjoying their touch as they caressed my roundness . . . Then I saw Mama's picture and I was overwhelmed again with the feeling that it was wrong that I even existed . . . I must stop daydreaming: I had serious work to do to be ready for the penances that I needed and wanted so much! First a white cotton bra and panties then my yellow print summer dress white calf- length socks and black shiny slippers -and I gave those an extra shine! I sat and combed my hair -it was shoulder length then and I brushed it until it gleamed in the light then tied it back with a plain white ribbon. I sat then sadly gazing at the picture of my poor dear Mother with tears welling up in my eyes knowing how much I needed to atone for what I had done to my darling Mama twelve years ago . . . A quiet knock at my door and Penty opened it: "Are you ready Joanie dear?" "Our friends are all here now. and we will do our best to help you expiate any wrongs you have done -if you're still sure you want to atone with painful penances?" "It's all to help you and you must decide!" "Do you still want to?" Tears were in my eyes and Penty could see that: he understood when I just nodded my head firmly. He took me by the waist and kissed me lovingly on my forehead saying: "Dearest Joanie! Let's go down now!" And he led the way down the stairs to the dining room on the floor below where three men were standing waiting for us.