THE ATONEMENTS OF JOANIE: A BIRTHDAY TOMORROW BY PENT Preface I can recall the whole occasion in vivid detail, and only had to commit the tale to paper exactly as it all happened. The memories will be hidden from you now by tricks of the mind, Joanie my love. But let me take you back, to the time when your were soon to be twelve years old . . . and bring the events up before your eyes, just as they happened. To help bring it all back to you, Joanie my love, I write as though it is *you* telling what happened; it is quite long, so your account is in separate chapters: Parts 1-5. With fondest memories, dearest Joanie, Your ever loving Uncle Penty X X X X Part 1 Thinking back to the time of my twelfth birthday, I remember feeling more and more depressed as the day came closer, with no appetite at meals and sitting around miserably as my spirits sank lower with every new dawn. On the actual day before my birthday, after Blossom had cleared the breakfast dishes, Uncle Penty was reading the newspaper and I was staring blankly at the Comic Section, . . he said - and I write all these words as close as I can remember now: "Joanie my love, it's your twelfth birthday tomorrow, and your have been looking more and more miserable every passing day for almost two weeks!" "You don't have to tell me Uncle Pent!" "I think I know why you are feeling this way, my love -I've seen the way you have been gazing at the portrait of your dear Mother in the hall." "You feel bad about the way things turned out twelve years ago, as though it was your fault and you were to blame . . ." "But as I've said a thousand times, nothing at all about it was "your fault" and I know dear Sis never dreamed for a moment of blaming you Joanie dearest . . ." "You just *say* that!" "Come and sit here on my knee, Joanie love I want to cuddle you . . ." "Our feelings, you know, aren't always rational, and I understand very well what you are going through each time your birthday comes round . . ." And I buried my face in Penty's shoulder so he wouldn't see my tears: I always loved the smell and feel of his rough tweed jacked! "I want this year to be different though my dearest Joanie -This year I am going to try and help you as much as I can to change your feelings so you can have a really happy carefree day tomorrow!!" "But how, Uncle Penty?!!" "You've done a lot of reading, Joanie love, and you know about people doing penance for things they have done wrong - or think they have done wrong . . atoning for things they feel very guilty about." "I want you to be able to atone for any faults you may have committed in your short life." "Atone? You mean I just have to do something I don't really like?" "Well, really *really* don't like! It will hurt you a lot - so you really *know* you are doing penance-and you will awake tomorrow on your birthday, still hurting, but feeling as free as a lark and ready to sing!!!" "Really?! That'd be wonderful!!!" "If you agree to do this, Joanie love, Blossom will have this evening off and leave the house, and I have asked some close friends to come here and help me with your atonement." "Uncle Penty I will do anything if I can stop feeling so miserable. And if you've already asked your friends to come then you knew I'd say "Yes"!" "Good!!! They have all met you before at one time or another -and they all very much want to help you . . ." "See if you like what I suggest: We will all be in the dining room upstairs while they play poker with me there . . ." "And the one who wins each game -so it's a matter of chance who does it -will come over and spank you for five minutes or cause you pain in some other way." "Your wrists and ankles will be held by soft leather straps, so you can't move very much to make it a real penance for you . . ." "Penty, they really will be a penances for me, won't they?!" "It will only be for your own good, not in any way for the pleasure of me or my friends, and by the end of the evening you will be hurting very badly and you certainly will have done your penance to atone fully for any wrongs you may have done to anyone in the past." "If you think it'll work, I want to do it!!" "I promise you will wake up tomorrow on the day you are twelve with your body still hurting a lot, but with joy in your heart, so you will be smiling and laughing with all the other friends you have asked to your party. And a conjurer is coming too who will make a white rabbit come out of a hat . . . and you will have a wonderful time -after you have atoned in full tonight . . ." "Are you brave enough to do this, Joanie my love, so it can be the first birthday that you will enjoy in the happy and carefree way your dear Mother would have wanted?" Long before dear Penty had finished the last bit the tears were running down my face and I was sobbing quietly as he talked -He had seen exactly how terrible I had been feeling and why! "Yes!!! I hope your friends hurt me very much! I doooo!!! Oh! Thank you Penty! I couldn't ask for anything better to happen to me tonight!!! I do love you, dear wise Penty!!" And gave dear Uncle Penty a big hug with my wet face rubbing up against his strong chin . . . "Joanie my dear sweet niece!!! I want you to go to your room now and spend the day there. I'll ask Blossom to bring you a tray with some lunch on it, and tea at five." "Look at the illustrations in this book as you sit beside the lovely picture you have of your dear Mother." "It is called "Penances for a Nun", from the Priory of Saint Radegund in Cambridge -it was the punishment manual used for the nuns there." "Thank you Uncle Penty!" "That priory is a college now, which I went to, and the book was discovered recently in its old library -it was written on parchment more than seven hundred years ago and this is a xerox copy of it -the college presented one to each alumnus who gave a lot at their last fund-raising . . ." "The words are all in Latin but the illustrations were drawn with a pen in black ink and copied well -you'll find they speak for themselves and show you the sort of penances that the young nuns in the convent used to do -punishments mostly given them by the visiting Father Confessor . ." "Thank you Penty, you do think of everything!!" "As you look at those pictures of one nun after another being punished with canes and belts and whips on all parts of their bodies and being made to stand naked out of doors, think to yourself of the wrongs for which you will be atoning this evening . . ." "Yes, Uncle Penty! I will!! I will!!!" "Prepare yourself for the pain you will bear tonight - bravely -as you think about why you need to atone . . ." "I think this is going to change my life, Penty, I do!!!" "Yes, Joanie ! I think it will ! ! I will come up to your door at seven o'clock, when it's dark outside and my friends have arrived." "Better start to prepare yourself at six o'clock -first do all you can on the toilet then have a hot bath and scrub yourself with soap, rinse off well and dry carefully with your big warm bath towel." "Put on clean underwear and your old summer dress -the yellow one that I always say looks so nice on you -with white socks and your black shiny slippers and brush your lovely hair until it shines . ." "And remember all the time -It is only for your own good, Joanie my dear love, and my friends and I will help you to atone." "You are wonderful Penty!!!" "You have a clock on your wall so please be ready and waiting for me at seven . . ." "All right, Joanie my sweet? Now, take the book and upstairs to your room and think what this is all about!" "I'll be ready for you, Uncle Penty!!" He gave me a gentle hug and kissed my forehead, then, as I turned to go he gave my bottom a light pat. Through my tears, I grinned over my shoulder as I went -I do so love Uncle Penty.