Sam and Jenna: Naked in School (NiS, hs, exh, teen, first, mf, oral, anal)

   Wednesday, Afternoon

   Sam

   "You're such a spaz."

   "Am not," I protested.  I toweled myself dry and tried not to stare at
Amelia as she emerged from the shower, dripping wetly.  I forced my eyes to
study the old shower floor tiles.  I still couldn't quite come to terms
with what a knockout Amelia actually was.  It was like, equivalent to
admitting my sister was hot.  If, y'know, I had a sister and all.

   If she noticed my discomfort she didn't show it.  "You like a girl.  You
want to tell her you like her.  Instead, you whine to me about how you want
to tell her you like her.  For the second day in a row.  Either you're a
spaz, or you're a wuss."

   "Well if you're so savvy on relationships, what would you do?" I
grumbled.

   Amelia glanced at me and smiled ruefully.  "Hide."

   "Hide?" I repeated dumbly.

   "Yes, hide."

   "Hah!  And I'm a wuss?" I protested.

   Amelia scowled and gave me a light shove.  I couldn't help but notice
how the rough motion made her perky tits jiggle and bounce.  "You're
supposed to be the big brave man, moron.  My point is, you're the guy. 
Guys' are supposed to show some back bone and approach the girl first."

   I gave her a weird look.  "Isn't that kind of an old fashioned and
sexist view?"

   Amelia shrugged and walked out of the showers and into the locker room.
"Maybe.  But a lot of girls still have the whole prince charming thing
going on.  Just because girls are just as likely to approach the guy, and
rightly so, doesn't mean they don't still like the idea of a guy wooing
them and sweeping them off their feet."

   I smirked.  "Is that what you want?"

   Amelia glared darkly at me.  I tried to meet her eyes.  "Shut up." She
caught me looking and turned red.  "And quit looking at me like that!"

   I turned as red as she was.  "Sorry," I mumbled.  I looked up at her and
grinned sheepishly.  "It's the damn Program.  I'm on overload.  Can't think
straight."

   "Yeah, whatever," Amelia mumbled.  She cut her eyes at me and then
started getting her clothes together.  "I'm nothing' to look at anyway."

   "That's not true," I said quietly.

   "Oh shut up," Amelia snapped and threw a shoe at me.  "I'm going to
pretend you didn't say that."

   " 'S the truth," I muttered.  "I'm going to use the bathroom and then
talk to Sensei a bit about the tournament this weekend," Amelia said. 
"Then I'll see you at lunch and pretend you didn`t ogle me so I won`t have
to kick your ass."

   I didn't want us to part on such an uncomfortable, awkward note, so I
grinned at her and said, "For a tomboy you sure are sensitive."

   Amelia tried to kick me as I ran laughing out of the locker room.

   It was a nice day out.  I never paid any attention to how the days
looked anymore (unless they were crappy, of course).  But it was nice...it
wasn't too hot, wasn't too cool.  The sky was clear except for a few little
swirls of pale cotton dotting the soft blue, and the sun was nice and
bright, but not too bright.  There was a light breeze, which normally would
have been nice and refreshing.  Being naked made it colder, but I didn't
mind overmuch.  I had taken the back way around the school, which had it's
advantages ...there was shade back here, between and behind the buildings,
and though there was a path back here leading to the Gym building, no one
ever used it, especially during lunch-time.

   My musings on the day was completely random, I realized.  Maybe this was
what happened to people who were in love.  Did that mean I was in love?  I
don't know.  All I know is things were great, I was happy, and really
looking forward to something for the first time in a good while.  And it
was all because of Jenna.

   I had already decided what I would do...I was going to pull Jenna aside
after lunch, and tell her... I liked her?  I loved her?  I wanted to be
more than friends?  I wanted to be an item?  Okay, so I wasn't entirely
sure how I was going to word things, but I had decided to take Amelia's
advice and step up to Jenna and try to get a solid relationship started. 
At least that was something.  I had decided firmly when and where I would
do it, which was far as I was concerned was a big step.  It made me feel
like a weight had been lifted.  I was still nervous, sure, but my
confidence was growing with every step toward the lunch room.  I was sure I
had finally found the girl I had been looking for since...well, since I had
taken notice of girls in the first place.

   My thought process shattered as I rounded the corner.  George Lenard and
another guy I didn't really know but was sure was a jock were approaching
Bret Wilson, shooting each other grins and snickering at each other.  Bret
was standing in front of Jenna, his body pressed against her.  One hand
fiddled with his belt while the other held her against the wall.  His grip
looked rough and forcibly tight.  Jenna squirmed and struggled, but Bret
was one of the biggest guys in the school and had a football players
strength, and now, apparently, he had backup.  She tried to scream, but
George put a hand over her mouth.  As the guy whose name I didn't know
reached between her legs she managed to throw a leg out and kick him in the
groin hard enough to make him stumble back with a curse.  She tried to do
the same to Bret, but George suddenly grabbed her legs and held them down
with his free hand.

   "Bitch," Bret growled.

   Jenna met my eyes.  My stomach lurched at the desperation I saw in them.
Jenna bit George's hand, hard.  George pulled his hand away and joined his
buddy in cursing.

   "Sam!" Jenna cried.

   Bret spun to face me, a shocked look on his face.  "Peterson!  What the
fuck are you doing back here!  Get the fuck out of here you little shit!"

   I was walking toward them without even realizing it.

   "Let her go," I commanded.  My voice was even and my hands steady.  I
was beyond the kind of anger that made you shake, into a much more
dangerous level of anger.  I tried not to let it overwhelm me and make me
do something stupid.

   Bret didn't let his grip on Jenna go.  Instead, he snarled at me.  I
could tell he was legitimately pissed beyond belief.  He also apparently
couldn't believe I was still standing around.

   "What a dumbass," George laughed.

   "Kid wants his ass kicked," George's friend agreed.

   "I told you to get the fuck out of here, Peterson.  Do it or I'm going
to kill you, I swear to God."

   "And I said," I replied cooly, "Let her go.  All three of you leave,
now. Last chance before I make you leave."

   Bret nodded to George and the third guy, and they grabbed Jenna to keep
her from getting away.  Bret's long legs were quickly closing the distance
between us.  His eyes burned with outrage and violence and his hands
clenched tightly.

   "You're fuckin' dead," he said bluntly, then lunged for me.

   He threw a punch, the wide, looping hook that people threw when they
didn't really know what they were doing in a fight.  It was all power and
no skill, an attack that would have probably dropped me completely if it
had had any hope of actually connecting.  I skipped backward and the hook
whistled well short of coming close to me.  I still felt the wind coming
off it and was glad I was faster than him.  I was a whole lot stronger than
I looked, but I had no delusions about who was the stronger between the two
of us.

   Bret seemed unperturbed by the miss and drove on, throwing another huge
hook that missed, but came closer than the first.  He was coming on with a
football jock's mentality; that instinct they all had to drive and drive
till they'd gone straight through whatever stood in front of them.  I was
going to get stomped in a few more strides.

   I threw an arm up and blocked the next punch, stopping it dead and
pushing his arm upward.  Bret looked shocked that I had absorbed the blow
without flinching.  He attacked again with his free hand, which I blocked
again.  This time I grabbed his wrist, squeezed down on it and kept it
immobilized.  My other arm came up and wrapped around the back of his head,
drawing him into a clench.  I pulled him downward as my knee shot up and
forward to drive into his belly hard enough to make his body lift from the
ground and double over.  His head dropped low as he instinctively grabbed
at his belly.

   The tip of my elbow cut across his brow, catching his right eyebrow. 
Elbows generally didn't knock someone out, but that didn't matter.  What it
did to was open a nasty cut across Bret's eyebrow that began to bleed down
across his eyes and made his head swim in pain.  My left hand -my power
hand, with my being left handed- came across in a hook, catching him on the
corner of his jaw in a slightly upward angle, just as I had wanted.  The
force of the blow sent vibrations radiating violently along his jaw and up
into his skull.  The skull took up the vibrating effect and began to shake
and vibrate violently around the brain.  The sensation was too intense for
the brain to cope with, and it momentarily `shut down', causing Bret to
black out.  I knew the science and events behind a knockout, but this was
the first time I had ever applied them in a real situation.  I was
surprised by how easily it all happened.

   "Shit!" George shouted as Bret went down in a heap.  "Get him, Frank!"

   George and `Frank' dropped Jenna and rushed me.  Jenna sagged to the
ground.  She was staring at me with wide eyes.  I didn't have time to see
if she was okay at that moment.

   I knew George had been in some fights before, all of them off-campus so
he hadn`t been kicked out of school.  Yet.  Frank had the look of a thug
about him, someone who looked for fights.  I dimly recalled hearing about
someone on the football team being transferred to Monroe after having been
kicked out of several other schools in the area for fighting and just
barely being accepted into the school based on his ability on the field. 
Looking at Frank, I could definitely see him being that jock.

   Neither George nor Frank were as big as Bret, but they were still bigger
and meaner than me.  But I was stronger than they thought I was, and I knew
more about fighting than they would probably ever know.

   Frank came at me from my left, George from my right.  With the odds in
their favor I couldn't be on the defensive for this little exchange or the
two of them would overwhelm me.  I lunged at Frank and ducked under his
first punch.  I grabbed his arm and pushed it up over his head which made
his ribs spread and open.  I slammed a punch into his side, digging my
knuckles into the soft tissue between his ribs.  Before he had even yelped
I drove a second punch into the mass of sensitive nerve clusters in his
armpit.  I struck the nerve cluster in his pit a second time and his arm
dropped limp to his side, numb and completely deadened by pain.

   George's arms closed around me from behind and pinned my arms to my side
in a bear hug.  It didn't surprise me; a guy his size usually thought he
could crush a guy my size right out with a bear hug.  He was partially
right, too.  He lifted me off my feet and began to squeeze as he roared
aggressively in my ear.  I wasn't about to let him use that kind of
strength against me.

   I brought my legs up, scrunching them in tight, then kicked out.  Both
feet planted on Franks chest and pushed with enough force to make George
stumbled back.  With me in his arms and unable to see behind him, his feet
inevitably tripped up and he toppled onto his back.

   To George's credit, he held on to me and continued to squeeze.  Now,
however, his head was braced against the concrete walkway with nowhere to
go.  I dug a sharp elbow into his side and managed to wiggled my body to
the side enough so that a second elbow dug his solar plexus and drove the
air from him.  At the same time I tucked my chin against my chest and then
snapped my head back in a sharp, whip-like motion.  My skull smashed into
his face twice, and the third time I felt his nose shatter and blood
spatter warmly in my hair.  He released me, screaming loudly as he grabbed
at his nose.  His fingers dripped with the overflowing blood.  I was sure I
had broken it in more than one place.  George was now far more concerned
with the pain that was nearly drowning him than coming after me again.

   I tried to scramble to my feet, but Frank was already on top of me.  I
just barely got a hand up in time to take away some of the force of the
kick he planted in my face.  I allowed the kick to force me back and rolled
backward with the momentum, coming up in a crouch.  The coppery taste of
blood dripped into my mouth.

   Frank kicked out at me again, but this time I was ready for it.  I came
to my feet and sidestepped, letting the kick slide past me.  I grabbed his
leg with one arm before he could pull it back.  I stepped in and struck
with my right leg, swiftly sweeping the leg Frank stood on as I struck him
sharply in the chest, open palmed, with my free hand.  I kicked into his
heel so hard with my sweep that his leg kicked up nearly to his waist,
completely out from under him.  With the added force of my push, he came
crashing down onto the back of his head and his neck.  He would probably
have a mild concussion from the fall.  Had I put more force behind the
sweep and the push, he could have quite easily broken his neck.

   Frank didn't pass out, but his eyes wouldn't focus, he was having
trouble lifting his head, and he wasn't moving beyond the weak attempt at a
squirm here and there.  A light groan escaped him, but he was otherwise
silent.

   I glanced over at George, who was rolling on the ground and clutching at
his broken nose.  I was surprised he hadn't gotten back up, but I guess a
broken nose was enough to make him think twice about the whole business. 
Bret was still napping.

   My blood was hot.  My hands itched to hit them again.  I wanted to hurt
them.  I wanted to show them what it felt like, to make them suffer.  I
knew I could do it; I was hardly even breathing hard, and I hadn't even
begun to draw upon the full extent of years of training for exactly this
kind of thing.  I was used to hour long practice sessions, sparing and
fighting over and over until I was too exhausted to continue.  This seemed
to have ended far too quickly in comparison.  I wanted to pay them back
tenfold for all the suffering and bullying and grief they had caused...the
suffering they'd caused me... the suffering they'd caused so many students
they had deemed too little and weak...the suffering they'd caused Jenna.

   Jenna.

   Suddenly all the fight went out of me.  I glanced at Frank to be sure he
was staying down, then ran to Jenna.

   She hadn't moved.  She was still trembling, and tears wetted her cheeks.
Her arms were wrapped around herself and she had curled into a tight little
ball against the wall.  I could see the redness on her breast and wrist
where Bret had squeezed and groped her.

   "Jenna?" I said softly.  I swallowed a lump in my throat and crouched
down beside her.  I reached a hand toward her, but she shied back,
trembling more violently than before.

   "Jenna...it's me," I said gently.  "I'm not going to hurt you.  It's
Sam."

   She looked up at me with wide, frightened eyes.  Then she blinked, once,
twice, and her gaze seemed to come into focus.  "S-Sam?"

   "It's ok.  No one is going to hurt you.  I promise no one is going to
hurt you."

   She gazed at me for several moments, then lunged forward and buried her
face into my chest.  She sobbed heavily and her hot tears slid down my bare
skin.  I put my arms gently around her, trying to move slowly and lightly
so I wouldn't scare her any more than she already was.  I was glad her head
was on my shoulder, though.  I could feel the tightness in my face, the
grimace of outrage returning as the rage I felt began to build hot and sure
all over again.  I was vaguely aware that my lips were pressed into a tight
line to prevent them from curling into a snarl.  My whole face felt tight.
It took an effort to keep the tension and boiling anger out of my arms so
that they wouldn't tighten around Jenna.  I was pissed as hell over this. I
couldn't believe Brett and George and Frank...or whatever the fuck his name
was...would be so brazen.  I itched to make them pay.

   "What the hell is this?"

   I turned to see Amelia approaching quickly, her eyes wide and looking to
me for an explanation.

   I tried to stifle the anger I felt and push it down, deep, deep inside
where it couldn't make things even worse than they were.  My anger wouldn't
help anything, it would only scare Jenna more than likely, or land me into
some serious trouble.  When my face was composed again, I glanced up at
Amelia and mouthed the word `rape'.

   Amelia's eyes went wide and she looked at Jenna's huddled form in my
arms, then to me, then to the three laid out.  Her face clouded over with
anger and she stepped to the unconscious Brett and kicked him viciously in
the ribs.

   "Amelia, stop," I said, though a big part of me longed to do the same.
"This won't help her.  They're done.  Go get someone to help, now!"

   Amelia nodded, letting out a deep breath.  She sent one last scowl down
at the sprawled jocks before rushing toward the main building.

   "Did they hurt you?" I asked Jenna softly.

   For several moments she said nothing, just cried into my chest.  My
heart twisted.  I couldn't believe this.  It was a nightmare.  After a
while she seemed a bit more composed and her sobbing stopped, though she
still hiccupped and I could still feel her tears.  "I don't know."

   "Help is on the way.  Just relax.  Just try to relax.  Everything is
going to be okay."

   I only half believed my own words.  I didn't think their attempt to rape
her had worked...things seemed to be starting when I showed up...but I
don't know what else they may have done.  I knew that a rape never had to
actually succeed to leave the victim severely damaged.  I prayed Jenna was
all right.  Even though I had managed to stop things from progressing
further, now I felt helpless.

   "Are they still here?" Jenna asked after a moment.

   "Don't worry about them.  They'll never bother you again." I replied.  I
tried not to let the fierceness I felt come out in my voice.

   She clung to me tightly and I felt her go through another sob or two,
but she seemed to have calmed down some at least for the moment.  I
caressed her hair, speaking softly and calmly to her, telling her
everything would be all right and she was fine, no one was going to hurt
her, nothing was going to happen.

   Bret was beginning to stir.  I gently disentangled Jenna's arms from
around me.  She began to whimper softly as she noticed Bret moving.  I
kissed her forehead gently.  "It's all right."

   I wanted to tell her to run, but I didn't think it would do any good. 
She had freaked, completely melted down.  I'd heard of assault victims
freezing up like this.  I didn't think her mind was quite on track at the
moment.

   "Stay down, Bret," I warned evenly.  I put myself between Jenna and her
three attackers.

   Bret stirred and started to slowly sit up.  His hand came up to feel the
blood dripping down from the gash on his eyebrow.  "W...What...?"

   "Sam!" Amelia had returned, running quickly toward us.  She noticed Bret
beginning to rise and charged him.  She stepped hard on Bret's chest,
pinning him on the ground again.  "Don't fuckin' move!"

   Several of the hall monitors came rushing onto the scene, followed
closely by the school nurse.

   "I'll take care of this from here," Nurse Olivia said.  She knelt down
to speak quietly with Jenna.  I breathed a sigh of relief.

   "Has anyone called the police yet?" I asked.

   "What happened here?" Mr.  Brown, the head hall monitor asked, ignoring
my question.  He eyed me suspiciously.  "This your handiwork Peterson?"

   I sighed and nodded slowly.  "They were trying to..." I glanced at
Jenna, who was shakily coming to her feet with Nurse Olivia's help.  I
stepped away from her, out of earshot.  Mr.  Brown nodded his understanding
and stepped a few feet away with me.  "...Rape her.  I told them to leave
her alone, which I guess pissed them off.  Bret attacked me, and then
George and Frank attacked me."

   Mr.  Brown continued to eye me.  "The hell did you do to them?"

   I shrugged.  "I had to put them down Mr.  Brown.  I used as much
restraint as I could, considering there was only one of me, and they wanted
to do more than just tussle a little.  Bret told me he was `going to kill'
me and that I was `dead'.  He was pretty damn serious.  I think I broke
George's nose when he tried to hold me down, but he was behind me and I
couldn't even see him.  Other than that I took care not to go overboard."

   Mr.  Brown nodded and looked at the three jocks sprawled out.  "Works
for me."

   I raised an eyebrow.  "That's it?  You aren't going to give me a hard
time?  Because of my training and all?" A few people on the faculty knew
the amount of training I'd had.  Mr.  Brown was one of them.

   Mr.  Brown gave me a straight look.  "I don't see no one dead or hurt
more than I'd bet they had coming.  Why, you want me to?"

   "No," I replied.  I shifted a bit and looked away.  "What kind of
consequences for fighting am I looking at?"

   "It ain't my call," Mr.  Brown replied.  "It's for the Principal and the
cops to decide.  But if anyone asks me I'm gonna advise them you were
acting in defense of yourself and another, and you used discretion with
what you know.  Just be happy you got here in time."

   He glanced at Amelia and said, "You can let him up now."

   Amelia scowled and pulled her foot away.  I got the feeling she wanted
to kick him again.  "You're lucky Sam got a hold of you," she spat.  "If it
had been me you'd be in the hospital for the rest of the year."

   Nurse Olivia was leading Jenna away.  I quickly looked at Amelia and
nodded toward the departing pair.  "Go with Jenna, Amelia.  You're just
going to get more pissed off if you stay here.  Make sure she's okay while
I answer their questions.  I'll be along as soon as I can."

   Amelia glanced at Jenna, then at me.  She looked like she wanted to
argue but nodded after a moment.  "Okay.  Let them know I'll vouch for you
if you need someone to."

   I nodded gratefully as she followed after Jenna and the nurse.  She took
one of Jenna's arms and patted her hand.  Jenna leaned against her.  I
think she said something, but they were too far away for me to be sure.

   The cops arrived and began to set everything in order.  A paramedic had
to come to see to George's shattered nose.  I was right about Frank having
a concussion, and he would probably need a few stitches for the gash on the
back of his head.  Brett would need some stitches for the cut on his
eyebrow, which was still stubbornly bleeding.

   The cops came over to question me.  I told them extensively what had
happened, from my leaving the gym, to finding Jenna being assaulted, to the
fight, all the way up to their arrival.  I left out no details, though my
recounting of the fight itself was a bit blurred; I had acted,
instinctively, and the exact details of who did what and when wasn't
entirely clear in my mind.  They asked questions throughout my explanation
and scribbled down notes in their little pads.

   "Any witnesses?" The other officer asked at last.

   "Jenna," I pointed out.

   "Anyone else?" The officer asked.

   I shrugged and jabbed a thumb in Bret, George, and Franks' direction. 
"You can ask the three of them, though I doubt their story will be anywhere
close to mine.  I'm sure people will vouch that I'm not the type to pick
fights... I've never been in one before.  But I was the only one here
willing to help Jenna out.  If there had been other people I wouldn't have
had to fight in the first place."

   The officers nodded.  The male officer glanced over at the three jocks
and gave me a questioning look.  "Never been in a fight, huh?  You sure did
some damage for your first fight."

   "I've been training in martial arts since I was seven," I replied.  The
officers nodded and scribbled that little detail onto their notepads.  I
braced myself.  Here it comes.  I was sure I would be accused of using
excessive force or some bullshit like that.  At the least I figured they
would question me about my training and whether or not I used it
carelessly. But the few remaining questions had nothing to do with my
training.

   As the officers asked their last few questions the paramedic came to
look me over.  He inspected at the back of my head.  "Yikes, you must be a
in a lot of pain.  There's blood everywhere back here."

   The officers looked startled and slightly guilty.  Apparently neither
had really noticed.

   "It's not mine," I said.  "It's George's." I looked at the officers.  "I
already told you how I broke his nose."

   The medic nodded and glanced over me.  "Let's take a look at that mouth.
Where are you bleeding from?  Did you lose a tooth?  Anything like that?"

   I gave him a confused look for a moment, then realized blood had leaked
down my chin.  I wiped it away, then checked over my mouth with my tongue.
"Feels okay.  Nothing loose."

   I opened my mouth and allowed the paramedic to look over my mouth.  He
nodded after a moment.  "Looks like one of your upper teeth sliced your lip
a bit.  It's not too bad.  It shouldn't even need stitches, unless you want
them to be safe.  Any pain?"

   "Nah," I replied.  "I've had worse."

   The paramedic nodded and stood up straight.  He faced the officers. 
"We're going to take the lot of them to the hospital.  I don't think any of
them will need to stay more than an overnight."

   The officers nodded and put their notepads away.

   "What's going to happen to them?" I asked, staring directly at the three
jocks as they were pulled to their feet.

   "We're not at liberty to tell you that," the male officer replied.  "The
Principal can explain the repercussions if he feels fit, though."

   "You did good.  Needs to be more kids like you," The female officer
nodded.

   I shrugged.  "Keeping guys like these from being able to pull this
bullshit would be a much better alternative."

   The paramedic and the male officer took Bret, George, and Frank away. 
The hall monitors began to follow.

   "At least we don't have a bunch of students back here ogling all this,"
Mr.  Brown grumbled.

   "If there had been people back here it wouldn't have happened," I
pointed out sourly.

   Mr.  Brown looked at me and nodded.  "No point looking back on it like
that.  It won't help Jenna feel better."

   I jumped slightly.  He was right.  I should to go to her now that the
cops were finished with me.  "Where did they take her?"

   "The nurses office, I imagine.  Probably checking to see if they hurt
her at all."

   "Speaking of the nurses office," the remaining officer said, "Can
someone show me to it?  I need to go speak with the young lady and take
down her testimony."

   "I'll take you," I told her.  "I'm going that way anyway.  I want to be
sure she's okay."

   I waved to Mr.  Brown and led the officer toward the main building, my
heart pounding anxiously.  I had gotten distracted by the questioning and
testimony.  A glance at my watch showed that nearly a half-hour had passed.
Lunch would pretty much be over.  I didn't even give a thought to classes.
All I really cared about was Jenna and seeing if she was okay.

   We arrived at the nurses office.  "Wait here," the officer instructed.
She knocked and nurse Olivia admitted her.  The door shut behind her in my
face.  I heaved a sigh and sat down on the floor just beside the door and
waited.

   Time seemed to flow like sludge down a rather gentle slope.  After what
seemed like hours I glanced at my watch to find only four minutes had
passed since the door had shut.  I stood up and started pacing in front of
the door.  My fingers itched to grab the doorknob.  I let out another heavy
sigh and glanced at my watch again.  Now six minutes had passed.  I sat
back down, my insides knotted with worry.  I wondered if Jenna was okay.  I
wondered how badly this had affected her.  Would this scar her?  I knew
even though the attempt had failed, the fact that it had been made in the
first place could severely damage her emotionally and mentally.  How would
she cope with this?  So help me, if this whole thing damaged her as badly
as it did so many other victims...

   Before my anger toward Jenna's assailants even had time to build the
door opened.  I glanced at my watch.  Twenty-three minutes.  I stood up as
the officer and Amelia both stepped outside.  The officer nodded to me and
turned down the hall.  Amelia surprised me by hugging me tightly as soon as
I got to my feet.

   "Is she okay?" I asked awkwardly.  I let out a sigh of relief when
Amelia nodded.

   "Yes," she said, "She's actually coming back to her senses pretty
quickly...the shock has worn off and she's not nearly as freaked as she
was. She's doing better than I would be if it had happened to me..."

   "Are you okay?" I asked.

   Amelia looked a bit surprised that I had asked that, but nodded after a
moment.  "I just can't believe this shit happened.  She doesn't deserve
something like this."

   "No one does."

   "I know, but her least of all," she sighed.  "It's good that you were
there to stop it."

   "I'm just glad she's okay," I replied.

   "Oh yeah," Amelia muttered.  She opened the door and stuck her head back
in.

   My brows rose questioningly as she pulled her head back into the hall
and smiled at me.

   "Go on in and see her.  She's been asking for you."

   "She has?" I asked stupidly.

   "Go on, go," Amelia gently insisted.  She opened the door and gave me a
light push through the door.

   I entered into the nurses office.  Nurse Olivia smiled gently at me and
nodded.  "I'll be right back.  Principal Markinson has been speaking with
the police, but he'll want to see Jenna now I think."

   I nodded and turned to face Jenna.  She was sitting on the examination
table, a blanket draped over her shoulders.  She looked up as I entered. 
Her face was blank and her eyes red from tears.  I sat in the chair beside
the table.  I looked at her with concern.  She surprised me by returning a
similar look.  An awkward silence filled the space between us for a long
moment, thick and slightly suffocating.

   "Are you okay?" We asked at the same moment.  Both of us blushed lightly
and looked away.  I cursed Bret and his friends silently.  On top of
everything else they had done to Jenna and to me, now there was a tangible
awkwardness between us that had hardly been noticeable before.

   "I'm fine," I said gently.  "Are you?  Did they...hurt you?"

   "No," she replied softly.  "I...have a few light bruises on my arm and
my left breast.  But I'm okay...just really freaked."

   Slowly, I extended my hand to take hers.  She gazed at me.  I could see
the hurt in her eyes...there a was pain and confusion there that made my
heart twist.  There was strength too, though.  It surprised me.  She was
still panicked, shaken...but where she may not have had the physical
strength to withstand the attack, where she may have froze and gone into
helpless shock at what had happened, she also had an inner strength that
was already helping her to recover and rise above this trauma.

   Jenna

   As soon as I got to the Nurses office, I started crying again.  My
sobbing was a quiet, almost soundless thing that wracked my body so
powerfully that Amelia had to wrap her arms around me to keep me from
falling off the examination table.  It shook me and left me trembling with
its intensity.  I couldn't remember ever crying so hard.  It came rolling
out of me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

   I was so lucky Amelia was there.  She said nothing, just held me, and I
drew strength from her.  I could feel her own silent tears against my
forehead as I cried into her shoulder.  I hardly knew her.  I had only met
her yesterday.  But in that one moment, we shared much of ourselves. 
Without a word being exchanged, it was as if we had known each other for
years.  I felt as much closeness for her as I did Theresa or anyone I had
ever met.

   After several minutes I sat up and wiped at my tears.  I let out a huge
sigh, and felt much of the tension fall away, leaving me drained and
feeling empty.  I always felt better after I let myself cry, more level
headed and calm.  I knew this wouldn't leave me so easily, but at least now
I knew it was over and I was okay.  I didn't allow myself to consider how
badly I would have been messed up by now had Bret and George and their
friend succeeded.

   Nurse Olivia sat down in a chair beside the table and looked gently my
way.  "I need to examine you Jenna...to make sure you're okay."

   "I'm fine," I said, though my voice shook.  "Sam stopped them before
they could do anything."

   "I know," she said gently.  "But I should check for bruising or any
other physical harm...it's procedure.  It will only take me a moment."

   I nodded, too weak and upset to argue.  I laid down on the table and
nurse Olivia began to check me over.  She found some light bruises visible
on the pale skin of my arm, but they would heal easily and shouldn't be too
painful, she assured me.

   "How did he do that?" I asked quietly.

   I flinched when nurse Olivia began to examine between my legs.

   "Huh?  How did who do what?" Amelia replied.  She smoothed the hair back
from my brow.

   "Sam... he beat the crap out of them," I replied.

   "Huh?" Amelia looked at me in confusion for a moment.  "Oh.  You didn't
know?  Sam's a second, almost third degree Blackbelt.  He's been training
since he was a little kid.  He was the one who convinced Sensei Marcus to
teach here at the school."

   "Oh," I said detachedly.  I think normally I would have been shocked. 
Sam?  A second degree Blackbelt?  I didn't know a lot about martial arts,
but I knew that few people got a black belt, more-less a second degree. 
And he was only seventeen.  But somehow, with everything that had happened
in the last hour, nothing was greatly surprising me at the moment.  Maybe I
just didn't have the energy to be surprised.

   "Did they know that?"

   "Who?  Bret and those asshole jocks?" Amelia asked.  "I doubt it.  Sam
doesn't tell anyone unless they train with him or they're his friends. 
They may have known...Sam is listed in the class roster as an assistant
teacher and his rank is given on the handout for the Karate club.  But no
one really pays any attention to us, especially jocks."

   I nodded numbly and shut my eyes.

   "Sam looked pretty pissed when I found you guys.  I don't think I've
ever seen Sam so angry," Amelia continued.

   I opened my eyes and looked at her.  Despite how hollow and unsure of
the world I was, I felt the faintest spark of excitement at her words. 
"Really?"

   Amelia nodded and smiled softly.  "Really.  He looked like he was about
to leap up and tear those guys to pieces.  I've seen Sam in training...he
could have dismantled those guys from their toes on up without breaking a
sweat.  He looked almost mad enough to do it, too.  What they did...it
really set him off...and Sam has to care a lot to get set off.  I`ve never
seen it myself, until now."

   "He didn't seem that mad to me," was all I could think to say.  Nurse
Olivia nodded to herself and helped me to sit up.  She pointed out a few
bruises on my left breast, where Bret had grabbed and squeezed hard,
digging his fingers into my flesh much too roughly.

   "I think he was trying not to scare you," Amelia suggested.

   I gratefully accepted a blanket nurse Olivia offered and wrapped it
around myself.  I was glad they were willing to suspend the rules for now.
"Why?  I wouldn't have been scared...I mean, I would have been, but not of
him.  I know he would never hurt me...I was scared of them, and that they
would hurt him."

   Amelia smiled at me.  "I doubt those jocks could have hurt Sam if his
arms were tied."

   "I know," I said.  "A second degree Blackbelt...I guess he'd have to be
pretty tough."

   "That's not what I meant," Amelia said softly.  She met my eyes.  "It
was because they were trying to hurt you.  I don't think it would have
mattered if he had never had a day of martial arts training in his
life...he wouldn't have let them stop him from keeping you safe.  He wasn't
going to let them hurt you no matter what.  He cares way too much about you
to let anything happen to you."

   My heart began to pound.  Despite what had just happened, I was filled
with what little excitement I was capable of.  "He said that?  He said he
cares about me?"

   Amelia looked away for a moment, then turned back to me with an awkward
smile.  "Not exactly...but I can tell.  Sam's...an easy read, once you get
to know him, and if he doesn't try to keep you from reading him.  I can
tell.  Trust me."

   I nodded and fell silent.  My moment of excitement drained away, though
a bit remained underneath everything, unwilling to be completely
extinguished.  I ran my fingers through my hair.  I felt too many things.
Too much emotion rushing in many directions.  But at least I felt
something, I told myself.  It was preferable to the hollow, sinking
emptiness that had filled me when the...attempt...had first happened. 
Anything was preferable to the freezing up I had gone through.  At least
now I was thinking.  That was something.  Being able to feel and think,
even if what I thought and felt were horrible, was preferable to feeling so
totally helpless and removed from myself.

   The policewoman came in and took my testimony and questioned me about
what happened.  I told her everything, haltingly, gripping Amelia's hand
for support.  The officer had tried to make her leave, but relented when I
asked that she stay for emotional support.  The officer was gentle in her
questioning and didn't press me too much when I stumbled through certain
painful details.  She asked me a lot of questions about what happened
between Sam and the three boys, too.  She wanted details on who did what
and when.  I did my best to recall what had happened, but I had been so
stunned at the assault and Sam's rescue that the details at that point were
unclear at best.

   The officer thanked me for my time when her questions were done and rose
to leave.  Amelia smiled at me and gave my hand a squeeze.  "Are you sure
you're okay?"

   "Yes," I replied.  I tried to smile at her, though I don't know how well
it worked.  "At least I will be.  I just need some time to calm down
and...I don't know...move past this, I guess.  It hasn't...really hit me
yet."

   "I hear you," she said.  "I'm also here to help and listen whenever you
need."

   I nodded and swallowed softly.  "Can...you go find Sam?  I want to see
him."

   "I don't know if that's a good idea," Nurse Olivia cautioned.

   "Please," I said.  "I really want to see him.  I need to see him."

   Nurse Olivia eye me for a moment then nodded slowly and smiled.  "Okay,
I think that would be all right.  He was a part of this, after all.  If
you're sure.  And if we can find him."

   Amelia patted my hand and left the room.

   A moment later she stuck her head back in and smiled softly.  "He's out
here waiting."

   I looked at the nurse pleadingly.  "Please let him in."

   Nurse Olivia nodded and Amelia tried to smile encouragingly before
stepping back out.  Sam stepped inside a moment later.

   I think I would have jumped up and thrown myself into his arms, but I
didn't have the energy just yet.  But that wasn't what stopped me from
doing it.  Not really.  One look at him showed he was scared for me.  The
way he kept from coming too close and moving too suddenly told me Amelia
was right; he was afraid I was scared of him.  I could find no words for
that...how could he think I was scared of him?  I suppose I would
understand if I was...I knew enough about rape to know one of the worse
things about it was the way in which it twisted the victims view of the
world...every shadow contained a new assailant, and every relationship
could very well inevitably deteriorate into another assault.  The act of a
rape was horrible, but the scars that stayed angry and painful through the
years were worse.  I considered for a moment and realized I was a hairs
breadth from falling victim to that distrust...but I hadn't.  I knew Sam
would never hurt me.  I wondered what that said about how well I would be
able to live with all this.

   We talked for a few moments till Nurse Olivia stepped out to go get the
Principal.

   "What about you?" I asked.

   "Huh?" Sam started.

   He'd been staring down at my hand in his and must have gotten lost in
thought.  I couldn't rightly blame him.  "You asked me if they hurt me," I
explained.  "What about you?  Did they hurt you?"

   "Nah," Sam replied, looking up at me.  "I'm fine.  I got a cut on my lip
but it's hardly worth mentioning."

   "Amelia told me you're a second degree Blackbelt," I said.

   "I am," Sam replied.  He smiled, a bit sheepishly.  "I'm sorry I didn't
tell you.  I don't really tell anyone.  It never really even occurs to me."

   "Mmm," I mumbled absently.  "Are you going to get into trouble?  For
fighting?"

   "I don't know," he said.  "I shouldn't.  They were attacking me, and I
was defending both of us.  But I'm trained, and that always complicates
things."

   "I'm glad you're trained," I said softly.  "If you weren't..." I don't
think I needed to complete the thought for him.  He squeezed my hand and I
squeezed back.  I shut my eyes and let his strength wash over me.  His
calloused fingers were rough and hard against mine, but touched my hand
with limitless gentleness.  Those hands made a lot more sense now.

   The door to the office opened and nurse Olivia returned with Principal
Markinson and Counselor Tailor.  The Counselor smiled gently at me and
stepped to the bedside.  She patted my shoulder lightly as she looked down
at me.

   "Are you okay?" She asked.  I knew she didn't mean physically.

   "I will be," I said.  I was getting tired of answering that.  "I just
need...to think.  And to put it behind me."

   "I understand how you feel, Jenna.  But remember this isn't something
you should expect to...just go away.  This will probably stay with you for
a long time.  If not forever.  It's something you'll have to live with. 
Counseling may be needed, or other treatments, once this fully hits home.
With that said, you seem better than I expected you would be," Counselor
Tailor replied.

   I nodded, trying to think on her words but not quite able to decide if
she was right or not.

   "Why is he here?" Principal Markinson asked the nurse as he glanced at
Sam.

   "I asked for him," I explained before he could try to chew Nurse Olivia
out.  "And I want him to stay.  I won't talk if you send him out," I said
firmly.

   Principal Markinson and Counselor tailor exchanged a confused glance. 
Sam seemed a bit surprised too, but only squeezed my hand tighter.

   "Are you sure that's the best idea?" Counselor Tailor ventured.

   "If he goes I'm not saying a word," I stubbornly asserted.

   "Okay.  If that will make you more comfortable," Principal Markinson
said.  I let out a sigh.

   "The Police have spoken with us about what happened," Markinson
continued, "This is inexcusable.  Bret, George, and Frank have all been
expelled.  Permanently."

   "That's it?" Sam asked in a harsh, rough voice.

   "No," Principal Markinson replied.  "There will be some very serious
consequences.  All three will be charged with attempted rape and two counts
of assault and battery."

   "Two?" Sam asked.

   "Yes," Counselor tailor spoke up, "They'll be charged with assaulting
you, too."

   "The charges will be pursued to the full extent of the law, and extra
harsh charges will be tacked on since the crimes were committed against
Program students," Principal Markinson explained.  "We take this very
seriously.  We have no tolerance for assaults of any nature at this school,
especially so when they are committed against students in the Program."

   I nodded and let out a quiet sigh.

   "Were you hurt?" Counselor Tailor asked me gently.

   "No.  Sam stopped them before they could...do anything." My voice shook,
but I was able to keep from breaking down again.

   "Am I looking at any charges against me?" Sam asked softly.

   "For what?" Principal Markinson asked.

   "For fighting with them," Sam replied simply.

   I noticed suddenly just how tense and tight he seemed, and realized that
it wasn't entirely for me.  I felt suddenly worried, too.  The last thing
that needed to happen was for Sam to get in trouble for helping me.  I knew
bad things could happen to people with the best intentions.  I steeled
myself to argue with what little energy I had in Sam's defense.  I wouldn't
let something bad happen to him because he had put himself at risk to help
me.

   But Principal Markinson's face softened a bit.  "You were intervening in
an assault.  You're protected by multiple good Samaritan laws, Sam.  As
long as you were intervening in a rape or sexual assault, you had the right
to do whatever you felt was best to make it stop.  Plus, Brett and his
friends attacked you, so you were also defending yourself."

   "Will it be seen that way?  Even though I'm trained?" Sam asked
hesitantly.

   "You used an appropriate level of force to keep them from harming you,
and Jenna.  You were fully within your right to defend yourself," Counselor
Tailor assured him.

   Sam let out a heavy breath and the tension seemed to go out of both of
us at the same time.  For several moments, no one said anything.

   "Am I going to have to...testify against them?" I asked after a moment.
I studied the nurse office floor.  "Do I have to go to court or something?"

   Counselor Tailor laid a comforting hand on my shoulder.  "Don't worry
about that now, Jenna.  We'll see if it can be resolved before things come
to that.  If you do have to testify, any kind of trail won't be held for
several weeks, at least.  Let's focus on you, for now."

   Principal Markinson nodded gravely.  "When we finish here, you are
excused for the rest of the day.  If you need to you can take the rest of
the week off, fully excused."

   I swallowed.  "I think I can make it tomorrow."

   Principal Markinson removed his thick glasses and cleaned them on his
tie.  "I want you to feel comfortable, Jenna, so you do what you feel is
best.  In any case, you'll be fully excused from the Program and your
record will show your week has been fulfilled."

   I considered for a moment.  I could exit the Program and have the whole
thing done and over with.  I knew no one would blame me or think less of me
for it.  The whole experience would be over.  I would be able to fade back
into the background where I would go unnoticed and undisturbed just like I
had always been.  At the moment, that's all I really wanted.  I just wanted
some time to think.  Or not think.  I wanted space from the whole thing.  I
almost said yes.

   Then I glanced at Sam and saw him looking at me.  He smiled encouraging,
gave my hand a little squeeze, and nodded.  I knew he was telling me that
he understand.

   I wondered if he knew he had just made it impossible for me to say yes.
I couldn't leave him alone in the Program...oh, I knew he would be all
right.  I knew he would get through it just fine and he would be much
stronger through all this than I would ever be.  But I didn't want him to
be alone.  I didn't want him to be in the Program unless I was in it with
him, as his partner.  I wanted to go through these experiences with him,
because somehow, I knew they brought us closer.  And that was the thing I
wanted most; for Sam and I to be closer.

   I hadn't gotten a chance to tell him how I felt yet.  And part of me was
afraid that if I we didn't have the Program to bring us together for at
least a little while longer, my nerve would fail me completely and I would
never tell him.

   "I'd like to stay in," I said softly.

   Principal Markinson's facial expression looked almost like I had just
muttered an obscenity in church.  "Umm...that won't be necessary, Jenna. 
You can if you really want to, but you will pass without penalty if you
would like to be taken out of it."

   "I don't want to give up on the Program because of this.  I would like
to stay in it till the end of the week." I looked into Sam's eyes and
smiled gently, feeling more confident with my decision by the moment.

   "You're sure?" Principal Markinson said slowly.  "We don't want you to
be uncomfortable"

   "Yes, I'm sure," I replied.  "I want to try my best to see this through.
I think the Program still has a lot to offer me."

   "It's good that you are willing to continue," Counselor Tailor said with
a smile.  "That you feel confident and secure enough to continue to be in
such an exposed position is amazing.  I would be terrified."

   "I'm only going to feel that security if Sam continues to be my
partner," I said softly, my eyes still firmly on Sam's face.

   "I don't think that will be a problem," Principal Markinson said,
glancing at Counselor Tailor.  "Do you have a problem with that,
Counselor?"

   "Not in the least.  As long as that is okay with Sam," she replied.

   I didn't have the time to hold my breath before Sam said, "Of course
it's okay.  I wouldn't have anyone else for a partner."

   I smiled at Sam, and I think I was surprised as anyone else to find
myself blushing.

   "I think I would still like to have the day off.  I'll be okay tomorrow,
but today..." I let out a shaky breath.  Reality was starting to weigh on
me again.

   "Right, no problem.  You're excused for the day.  Be sure to let us know
if you are okay or have any kind of problem tomorrow.  The school will
contact your parents and talk to them about what happened and what legal
issues are going on," Principal Markinson said.

   I nodded and stood up slowly.  I felt a bit unsteady on my feet for a
moment before I became more stable.

   "I don't think you should drive yourself home," Counselor Tailor said.
"Can someone come pick you up?"

   "What time is it?" I asked.  I glanced at the clock on the wall.  My
brow furrowed uncertainly.  "My dad is supposed to be in a test lab all day
today...and Karla will be picking Edd up from school right about now and
taking him shopping with her.  I don't think either of them will be able to
pick me up any time soon."

   "I'll drive you," Sam offered.  He smiled and stood up as well.  Then he
glanced at the Principal and Counselor.  "If that's okay."

   "It's fine," Principal Markinson said.  He pulled a notepad from his
pocket and scribbled a quick note which he handed to Sam.  "There's a pass.
Try to make it back for your final class of the day, but make sure Jenna is
safe at home first.  Both of your classes will be informed about what
happened today so you won't need to worry about being in trouble tomorrow.
If you don't make it in time, Sam, don`t worry about it."

   Principal Markinson turned to me.  "Be sure you are okay before coming
to school tomorrow.  If you aren't, then don't come.  Your well-being comes
first."

   I thanked Principal Markinson and realized for possibly the first time
what a totally awesome Principal he was.  I'd never had an evil jerk
Principal who didn't give a damn about the students, but Markinson was by
far the nicest I`d had.  I could tell he really did care about what had
happened, and somehow that made me feel like it really wouldn't be
happening again.

   "Wait here," Sam said after Principal Markinson and Counselor Tailor
left the room.  "I'm going to go get our clothes."

   I sat on the examination table while Sam went to go get our clothes. 
Feelings welled up slow but sure and threatened to down me.  They
conflicted and pulled me in so many directions my stomach churned and
dipped unevenly.  I was scared.  I was terrified by what had happened, and
no matter how I tried to push the feeling down, I was horrified at the
notion that such a thing could happen again.  I had always known,
subconsciously perhaps, that it could happen to me...but not really.  I had
never really thought it would.

   I forced the feelings down.  I would let myself go through them when I
got home.  For now, I just wanted to keep myself in one piece till I got
home where I could be left alone to process this.

   "You should probably talk to Counselor Tailor.  Maybe see about getting
some counseling or talking to someone," Nurse Olivia said softly.

   I glanced at her and nodded.  "Yeah.  Probably.  Right now I just want
to go home."

   Nurse Olivia nodded and smiled at me gently.  She patted my shoulder
before walking to her small desk.  "I understand.  Just remember that
retreating too much into yourself won't help you to cope with this. 
Traumatic events...it's always much more healthy to talk to someone about
it.  Someone qualified to listen and help."

   Sam stepped back into the office carrying the two small boxes with our
clothes inside.  I took my box and we dressed silently.  He watched me with
worried eyes as he pulled on his pants.  I was touched by his concern, but
too tired to show it.

   "Take care of yourself, Jenna.  Come see me some time and let me know
how you're feeling," Nurse Olivia suggested.  I nodded and gave as much of
a smile as I could manage, then we left.

   The drive was as silent and tense as the dressing had been.  Sam drove
carefully, as if he was afraid I would startle if he went too fast or
turned too sharply.  For some reason I hated that.  He glanced at me every
once in awhile.  I sat with my hands folded in my lap, staring out into
space.

   "What are you thinking?" Sam asked when the silence had stretched for an
uncomfortably long time.  Part of me was relieved he spoke up.  Part of me
wanted to be left alone.

   "I'm trying not to," I said honestly.

   Sam winced.  "Sorry."

   "It's okay," I replied.

   I pointed at my house as we reached it and we pulled to a halt in the
driveway.

   "Can I do anything for you?  Anything at all?" Sam asked.  He turned to
face me more fully and handed the keys back to me.

   I sat silently and thought for a minute.  I wanted him to take it away.
I wanted him to take it all away and make it not happen.  I didn't want the
memory of Bret's hands molesting me.  Most of all I wanted him to take away
the uncertainty.  I had never been the type of person who took uncertainty
very well.

   "I..."

   I looked up into his face and found a measure of comfort in the
accepting support there.  I tried again.  "Just be there when I need you. I
don't think I can talk about this yet...with anyone.  But be there when I
can."

   He slowly reached out and placed his hand on mine.  It wasn't an
intimate touch, but the touch of a friend trying his best to lend his
support.  I didn't flinch when his skin met mine.  I wondered if that meant
something, good or bad.

   "I'll always be here for you," he said gently, but with a firm
conviction that my uncertain frame of mind welcomed.  "We're in this
together, Jenna.  I won't let anything happen to you, I promise.  I'll be
around for whatever you need, so any time you need help, or something done,
or just someone to talk to, I'm here." He smiled gently, the crooked smile
I loved so much, but it was muted by his concern.  "Partners, right?"

   I nodded quietly.  I didn't trust my voice; there were too many emotions
stirring in me and I wasn't sure which would come out if I spoke.

   We got out of the car and he walked me to my front door.  I unlocked it
and turned to him.  I felt such a rush of feelings then...I was scared.  I
was scared that he would leave and then no one would be there to protect
me. My feelings for him were nearly overpowering despite all that had
happened.  But I couldn't completely focus on it...at the edge of
everything now was the feeling of Bret and the violation I had experienced.


   I surprised myself.  I definitely surprised him.  I flung my arms around
him and hugged him tightly, fiercely, pulling him as close to me as my
meager strength would allow before rushing inside and shutting the door
without a word to him.

   I sank against the door and slid down to the floor, sobbing loudly.  My
emotions flooded over me for a moment.  I sat curled up against the door,
my knees pulled up to my chest while I sobbed and hiccupped and felt the
heat of what I had been through.

   When more tears refused to come I felt drained and empty again.  I
climbed shakily to my feet.  Karla still wasn't home with Edd from what I
could tell.  The house was empty and I was sprawled out at the front door.
I didn't want my family to find me like this.  Slowly I dragged myself
upstairs to my room, feeling like I was hollow inside and I would never
feel anything again.  I crawled into my bed and pulled the sheets up around
my shoulders.  I broke down and began to cry again.

   And so it went for about a half hour.  I cried, feelings and hurt and
fear overwhelming me till I felt like I came to a hiccupping halt, feeling
like I had nothing left to pour out.  Then I would start crying over again.
Lilly, who had managed to run into the room before I closed the door,
jumped onto my bed.  She nudged me with her nose and looked at me with her
curious kitten eyes.  I put my arms around her and took comfort from her
simple warmth and love.  She, for once, suffered through being held and
confined in my arms, almost as if she understood my pain.  For a moment, my
world was centered around my cat and my pain.  My tears soaked into Lilly's
soft fur.

   When I finally stopped, I felt better.  I wasn't empty and hollow any
more, but I also wasn't panicking on a rush of emotions I couldn't handle.
I knew the misery and trauma of the day was by no means going to simply up
and leave now.  I knew that today was something that I was going to deal
with for a long, long time.  But I felt a bit better.  I was probably
grasping straws, but it was something, at least.

   The door opened slowly.  A cold sweat swept over me and I began to shake
in a moment of unreasoning panic.  Then Karla's hand was gently on my
shoulder.  She was shaking, too.

   "Jenna?" She said.  Her voice broke.  She tried again.  "Jenna?"

   I rolled over and looked up at her.  She gave a choked sob and dropped
to her knees in front of the bed and flung her arms around me.

   "The school called," she began, but her crying stole her voice.

   I thought I didn't have any tears left, but I managed to find some for
the few moments that Karla and I embraced each other.  She pulled back and
looked at me through her tears and wiped the hair from my face.  "Are you
okay?"

   "I don't know," I said honestly.  "I can't seem to figure out how I'm
even feeling.  Or if I'm even feeling anything at all."

   "My poor girl.  I can't believe this has happened to you," Karla
sniffled.

   "What did they tell you?" I asked after I recovered a bit.  I sat up and
pulled my blanket around me.  Karla sat on the edge of my bed beside me.

   "They said that some boys tried to...tried to rape you," Karla said
softly.  Her eyes watered up again and she pushed the tears away.  "They
said another boy stopped it from happening."

   I nodded distantly.  "Sam."

   "I'm so glad you're not hurt," Karla said and hugged me again.  "Do you
want to talk about it?"

   "I don't know," I said.  I fidgeted a bit and sniffled.  I wiped my nose
on my blanket, past caring at this point.  "I...don't know what to say. 
I'm kind of scared and shaken up.  I think I'm glad Sam stopped them.  I
mean, I am glad Sam stopped them.  I just don't feel very glad.  I'm too
upset."

   "I understand," Karla said.  I wasn't at all sure she did, but I knew
she was trying to take care of me.

   "Can I do anything?  Can any of us do anything?" She asked.

   "I don't think so.  Not right now at least.  I just want to be left
alone for awhile."

   "They told me you wanted to stay in the Program," Karla said after a
moment.  "You know...you don't have to.  No one would think less if you
decided..."

   "It's okay," I said.  "No one is making me stay in the Program.  It's my
choice.  I want to do this." I patted her hand gently.  "I'll be okay.  I
just want to rest and try to figure out how I'm going to deal with all
this."

   Karla nodded and hugged me again.  "I don't know how I'm going to
convince your Dad that you should stay in the Program after today."

   "If he has a problem with it then he can talk to me," I said.  "But not
now.  Later maybe.  Does he know yet?"

   She shook her head.  "I tried to contact him, but I think he's still in
testing."

   "I thought so," I sighed.  "It's better this way, maybe.  I can rest a
bit before he starts harassing me."

   Karla nodded and gave me another hug.  "I'll let you rest for awhile
hon. Just remember that you can talk to me about it once you're ready."

   "Thanks Karla," I replied.  "I think I'll be okay.  Sam kept it from
happening, and that means a lot.  I think I'll be a lot better than if it
had actually happened."

   "Yes, but it still almost happened," Karla said softly.  "That will
probably still effect you."

   "I know," I said.  I laid down and pulled the blankets up to my chin.

   "Let me know if I can do anything," Karla said.  She leaned down to kiss
my forehead like she had done since I was a little girl.

   As she rose to step out of the room I called after her, "Karla?"

   "Yes, Jenna?"

   I looked up at her and bit my lip.  "Do the kids know?"

   "No," Karla said.  "I'm not sure how I'm going to tell them...Edd won't
understand.  The twins probably won't either."

   "Then don't tell them," I replied.  "I don't want them to know.  Maybe
some day we can talk about it...but right now I don't want it to disrupt
their lives."

   Karla nodded.  "Okay, if that's what you think is best."

   The door shut and I let out a sigh.  I lay in my bed and tried to make
myself think of what had happened.  What was I supposed to think?  What was
I supposed to feel?  I felt loss and violated, and completely unsure what
to do.

   Part of me almost said it was no big deal.  Someone tried to rape me,
and they didn't.  That was a good thing, right?  That made things okay,
right?  It didn't feel right.  I felt like I had most definitely been
violated, if not physically then emotionally.  Okay.  So I had been
violated.  My attackers had been punished, in several ways, and they
couldn't hurt me any more.  Moreover, I had the feeling that Sam wasn't
going to let me out of his sight any more.  I wondered what my friends
would think of what had happened but I didn't have the energy to follow the
line of thought.

   My eyes began to droop.  I hiccupped and shook as sadness and hurt
welled up again, but I didn't have the energy to fully cry anymore.



   Sam

   I hoofed it back to school.  Jenna's house was a little further than
half way between my house and the school, cutting a normally thirty-odd
minute walk down to about fifteen.  I was just glad I had been able to grab
my clothes before leaving the school.  Making the walk in the buff was not
my thing, outreach be damned.  By the time I got onto school grounds I was
sweating from the sun beating upon me.  And I had a rock in my shoe.

   I stripped at the door.  While I didn't particularly mind the crowd of
onlookers that normally hung out during dressing and undressing, given my
current frame of mind I was glad not to be bothered.  A glance at my watch
showed me I had arrived just a few minutes before the bell would ring to
let classes out, and I would be able to make it to History.  I made my way
down the halls and tried not to think.  One of the hall monitors spotted me
and nodded me along when I showed him my hall pass.

   It was hard to make myself calm.  A big part of me still seethed in
anger at what had happened.  That part of me felt that Bret, George, and
their buddy Frank hadn't been adequately punished for trying to rape Jenna.
But beyond that I was worried about her.  I wondered how badly she was
going to be messed up by this.  The question was, how much of a hold would
it have on her?  Was it something that would run her life and keep her from
every trusting a person ever again?  Was it something she could come to
terms with and learn to cope with?  My jaw ached and I realized I was
clenching it.  I made myself stop.  A small, selfish part of me thought of
how I wouldn't be able to tell her how I felt now, that there would be no
way she would even consider intimacy with someone now, even if she had been
feeling for me a measure of what I felt for her.  I resolved to push that
selfish part of me aside so that I could instead focus on the important
thing at hand: Jenna and her health.

   I waited for the class ahead of me to empty then quickly went into Ms.
Byron's classroom.  She was wiping off the board when she glanced up and
saw me.

   "I've been told what happened this afternoon," she said to me.  "It's a
good thing you were there.  I've also been told if you come in that you've
been excused from classes for the afternoon, if you need it."

   I shook my head and quickly took my seat.  "It's okay.  I should do my
best to attend what classes I can.  I don't want to get into a habit of
missing."

   Ms.  Byron surprised me by smiling at me sympathetically.  I don't think
I'd ever seen her smile before.  "No one would blame you if you took a day
off, Sam, especially considering what happened.  I've talked with several
of your past and present reachers, you know.  We all know what a hard
worker you are."

   I nodded and smiled awkwardly.  I'd never really known how to deal with
praise.  I had little of it at home.  "Thanks for saying that, but I'd
still like to attend, if that's okay."

   "Of course it's okay," Ms.  Byron said.  "But if you need to leave,
please do."

   "I will," I replied.  "And I don't want any relief.  Please."

   Liz came in after awhile and sat with me while the students came
filtering in.  She had heard about what happened and asked me to give her
sympathy to Jenna next time I saw her.  The period went by slowly.  I paid
even less attention to the lecture than usual.  My notes were out and my
pen in hand, but I only scribbled down a few lines when I realized that I
hadn't taken any notes by halfway through the lecture.  I tried not to
think about things too much.  I was starting to wonder if it was normal
that I felt so affected by the afternoons events.  It hadn't been me being
raped, after all.  But affected I was, and in so many ways it made my head
hurt if I tried to sort them.  Some of the feelings I expected; the anger,
the worry about Jenna's health and mental state.

   I didn't understand the rising guilt, though.

   The bell rang and I stood, asking myself why I had even bothered
attending.  I could have gone home and found something to at least
preoccupy my mind enough to keep myself from dwelling and brooding on
everything.  But I reminded myself I didn't really want to be there either.
I briefly wondered if I would regret my distraction today come test time,
and decided that I really didn't care at the moment.

   I stepped out of the class room and Andrew collided with me hard enough
to nearly knock me off my feet.

   "Sam!  Shit man, are you okay?  Is Jenna okay?  Where is she?"

   I righted myself and held a hand out.  "Slow down, Andy.  I'm fine.  I
took Jenna home for the day.  She's...I don't know.  I think she'll be
okay. I think."

   "Did those assholes hurt her?" Andy growled.

   "Not as badly as they could have," I replied evasively.  I didn't want
to say yes, and I didn't want to say no; how could I even claim to know? 
`Hurt' was something Jenna could overwhelmingly be, and no one would be
able to see it.

   "Fuck," Andy muttered.  He took a deep breath and shook his head.  "This
is so messed up.  I can't believe this shit happened."

   "Bret and George have been expelled and are facing some pretty stacked
criminal charges.  Their buddy Frank, too."

   "Frank?  Wait, as in Frank Torley?  You fought Frank Torley?" Andy gaped
at me.

   "I guess.  I don't know who he was.  He looked like a jock."

   "That's him," Andy confirmed.  "The three of them are always hanging
out."

   I shrugged and started walking.  Andrew followed me.  One girl stopped
me with a request to touch my cock, which I distractedly allowed.  Other
than her, no one stopped me.  Whether it was because they were all too
distracted with getting out of school or because they had heard about what
happened I didn't know.

   "That's nuts, Sam.  Frank Torley's got a reputation for fighting.  He's
a mean bastard, by the sound of things.  He's been kicked out of a bunch of
schools for beating the snot out of people," Andy explained.

   "Has he?" I asked distractedly.  "Then he ought to be used to it enough
to not care this time."

   "I dunno about that," Andy replied.  "This is the first I've heard of
him getting the business end of a fight.  And Bret and George too?"

   "It doesn't matter, Andy," I said.  I felt claustrophobic.  I felt
guilty.  I felt mad.

   "Look," I turned to face him, "I need to go do something.  Find Amelia
and Derik and Theresa, if you can."

   Andy gave me a questioning look.

   "I know all of them want to know what's going on, and I'd rather them
hear it from me than gossip around school that is probably completely
inaccurate," I explained.  "And I'd rather I tell it to them than have them
harassing Jenna about it.  The less Jenna has to relive the whole thing,
the better."

   "Okay," Andy nodded.  He clapped my shoulder.  His smile was strained.
"I'll bring them to the front steps.  We'll wait for you."

   "You can go once you tell them, I know you've got basketball practice,"
I told him.

   "Fuck practice, this is much more important," Andy said.

   I nodded my thanks distractedly.  I hurried to the faculty parking lot
just in time to catch Sensei Marcus getting to his car.

   "Sensei!" I called and ran over to him.

   He smiled at me as he saw me coming.  He threw his bag into his back
seat and shut the door before turning to face me.  He reached out and
clasped my hand tightly before pulling me into a rough hug.

   "Sam.  I heard."

   I nodded and we both leaned against his car.  I was quiet for a moment,
and he let me be.  He knew if I had come to find him I had something on my
mind.  He would wait until I voiced it.

   "I feel strange," I said finally.

   "That was the first time you've ever had someone attack you, wasn't it?"
Sensei asked.  I nodded.

   "It isn't the same, is it?" He said when I remained silent.

   "No," I shook my head.  "I didn't expect it to feel like this.  It's
nothing like in the dojo."

   "And how does it feel?" He asked.

   I looked up at him, puzzled.  "You don't know?"

   He smiled and looked distant for a moment.  "It's been a long time since
someone attacked me.  Really attacked me.  But I remember it.  It's
different for everyone who goes through it, I think."

   "How was it with you?" I asked.

   "It was...hard.  The man was drunk and thought I had money.  When I
showed him I did't, he thought I was lying and attacked me.  He had a
knife. I had to break his arm to make him stop.  I was scared.  My training
made my body respond automatically, but in my mind I was thinking that I
had no idea how I was going to get out of there without getting hurt."

   I nodded and let out a shaky breath.  "I...I was confident in what
you've taught me.  Even with three of them I...it was nothing.  I dropped
them without a thought." I wasn't bragging; I don't think I had ever tried
to brag to Sensei Marcus.  Just being in his presence had always somehow
humbled me.  I was telling him how I honestly felt, and he nodded his
understanding.  "When it was done I was mad.  I was enraged.  I wanted to
hurt them...I wanted them to pay for what they tried to do.  I still do." I
looked down and swallowed heavily.  It hurt, to admit that ugly side of me
had gotten so strong.  It hurt to even admit it to myself.  To admit such a
flaw to my Sensei...it made my gut burn.  But I would tell him.  I would
tell him everything.  It was something akin to confession, somehow, to tell
Sensei of the things I had done and how ugly my feelings were.  He had more
wisdom than anyone I knew, and I needed that wisdom now.  "It's natural to
feel that way," Sensei told me.  He placed a strong hand on my shoulder and
looked me in the eye.  "I felt something like that, too, though maybe not
like you did.  You have a lot of anger in you, Sam." I flinched as if he'd
struck me, but nodded all the same.  "A lot of anger," he repeated.  "We've
known this for a long time.  You bury it in your training.  You control it
and keep it from becoming destructive or harmful to yourself or others. 
And I'm proud of you for that." "I wish it would leave," I said miserably.
I tried not to reflect on the anger and bitterness we were talking about.
It was like an old wound; you get used to it.  You can live for days
without even noticing it, then it flares up and its all you can think
about. "I just want to be calm." Sensei shrugged and looked at me
thoughtfully.  "It'll never get better if the environment you're in never
changes.  So much of your anger comes from your mother.  You'll never be
rid of that anger if nothing changes in that part of your life.  Maybe even
then it won't improve.  It`s rooted pretty deep." "I've tried to make peace
with it and not care about it," I said softly.  Sensei gripped my shoulder
tightly, lending me his strength.  "I know, Sam.  You're a very strong kid,
you know; not just physically either.  You hide your anger well and have
found a healthy way to channel your aggression issues into something
constructive and worthwile.  And you're only seventeen.  Even most adults
don't have their issues figured out as well as you." I shrugged and sighed.
"I still don't feel right about it." "And I don't feel you came to see me
about your anger issues; we resolved those a long time ago, and even if the
fight got you angry or upset, I know you still had and have a firm hand on
your temper.  So what is this really about, Sam?" I squirmed a bit.  Sensei
Marcus knew me too well.  "I feel...I don't know...guilty.  Ashamed."
"Why?" Sensei Marcus asked evenly.  "Because," I replied, "It wasn't a fair
fight.  Even with the three of them, I had an advantage in a big way.  I
feel...I don't know...almost like I cheated, I guess.  They had no idea and
I took advantage of that." "Do you think it would have been better to let
them get away with what they were doing?  Or to let them beat on you?"
Sensei asked.  "Of course not," I said crossly.  "I could have never stood
there and done nothing while they tried to..." I trailed off.  Why was it
so hard to say such a simple word?  "And if I'd let them attack me without
defending myself, what would all this training have been for?" Sensei gave
me a meaningful look and I could tell he pulled the `answer your own
question' trick.  I considered my own words.  "Ah, Sam," Sensei chuckled.
He patted my shoulder and opened the front door of his car.  "You did the
right thing.  The only thing you could really have done.  You know that. 
My guess would be that you feel guilty because under all your anger and
aggression, you're a good person who wouldn't really wish harm on anyone.
You're a gentle person, Sam, and that's not a bad thing.  It's pretty
admirable, actually.  But remember, even gentle people should do what's
right, and you did that today.  Put it out of your mind." Sensei gave me
another rough hug before he sat down in his car.  "I think you should take
the night off tonight.  Come tomorrow, if you`re feeling better." "I'll be
fine, Sensei," I replied.  "Your head is elsewhere.  You would be
distracted all night.  Coming to the dojo tonight would be
counterproductive." "You're probably right," I admitted with a sigh.  "I
would probably just slow the other students down." "Don't worry about it
too much, Sam.  I would need a day off to collect myself too.  We'll see
how you're feeling in the school class tomorrow, okay?  If you're able to
focus, then you can come to the evening class at the dojo." "Hai, Sensei,"
I acknowledged obediently.  "I'll see you tomorrow.  Oh, and Sam?" I looked
up.  He smiled warmly at me from the seat of his car.  "Stop doubting
yourself.  I don't, not one bit."

   I waved as he pulled out of the parking lot, then I circled around the
outside of the main building to the front doors, mulling over what he said.
I was glad I had gone to talk to him, and I was trying to put things into
perspective.  Sensei Marcus was right, like always.  What else could I have
done?  Any alternative seemed to end in unacceptable conditions, and I had
tried to keep things from getting violent.  And Brett and his friends
definitely deserved what they got.  I forced the lingering guilt away. 
Time enough to deal with that later.

   Andrew had either found some of our friends in a group or he had ran his
ass off all around school, because all of them were waiting for me at the
front steps.

   "What happened?  What happened?  Where is she?  I swear I'm gonna..."
Derik started ranting as soon as I stepped out the front doors.

   "Calm down," I said evenly.  "Just relax and sit down and I'll explain."

   "Is she all right?" Theresa said worriedly.  She was sitting next to
Andy and worrying at her hands.

   "She's okay.  I think she's a bit freaked, but she's okay.  They let her
go home for the day and she'll be back tomorrow."

   "Have they exempted her from the Program?" Amelia asked.

   "They offered, but she opted to stay in it," I replied.

   "What!" Derik exclaimed loudly.  By the looks on everyone else's faces,
he wasn't the only one surprised.

   "It was her choice," I shrugged.  "I don't know why she's doing it, but
I'm going to watch her like a hawk.  I'm not going to let anything else
happen to her."

   "What did happen, exactly?" Andy asked.

   "I started filling them in," Amelia said, "But I could only tell them so
much.  I wasn't there and all."

   I told them what happened, from the moment I left martial arts class to
go to lunch up until I left Jenna at the front door of her house.  Theresa
began sniffling at one point but remained otherwise silent.  Derik almost
interrupted several times as anger, concern, and horror alternately washed
over his face.  Whenever he jerked to his feet and opened his mouth in
outrage Amelia grabbed his shoulder and made him sit back down.  I
subconsciously wondered at how close our group was getting that Amelia
could make the hotheaded Derik quiet down like that.  Then again, Amelia
was kind of scary and it was usually a better idea to listen to her than
not.

   When I finished speaking, I let out a heavy sigh.  I'd been talking for
nearly an hour and the afternoon was wearing thin.  My mouth was dry from
so much talking, but I felt oddly relieved.  Just telling my little band of
friends seemed to have relaxed me and eased away some of the stress that
had been twisting my muscles in tight knots.  It sounds corny, but I
honestly felt that my friends had helped to take some of the burden that
today had heaped on my shoulders.

   Theresa sniffled again and looked a bit unsteady for a moment.  Amelia
sat down beside her and hugged her tightly.  I thought for a moment that
Theresa might begin to cry, but she gathered herself and returned Amelia's
hug before sitting straighter.

   Derik looked paler than usual.  He had started pacing after the first
five minutes of my explanation and hadn't stopped yet.

   "Derik, you're making me nauseous," Theresa said at last.  I felt like
chuckling, but couldn't.

   Derik stopped pacing and looked around as if he'd been badly spacing
out. He nodded and looked at the ground before stepping up to me and
looking me in the face.

   "I've been a prick," he said bluntly.

   "What?" I asked confusedly.

   "I've been a prick," Derik repeated.  "I judged you and tried to keep
you away from Jenna, because I was afraid you were going to hurt her or
abuse your position as her partner.  I guess I was kind of afraid you were
going to replace me as her friend too.  So I was an asshole to you.  I'm
glad you didn't let that keep you from being her friend and taking care of
her."

   I smiled softly and laid my hand on his shoulder.  He was shaking just a
bit.  I wasn't really sure why, but I suspected he wasn't used to
addressing people this directly.  "I would have been her friend no matter
what, Derik.  I don't judge people by their company.  And anyway, I don't
think you've been a prick.  You're protective of your friends and not used
to new people, that's all."

   Derik nodded absently and didn't look completely convinced, but he
stopped shaking.  "Thanks, Sam.  Thanks for protecting her.  I really don't
know what would have happened if you hadn't been there.  I'm just so glad
she's okay."

   I squeezed his shoulder and nodded, then let my hand drop, extending it
toward him.  "Friends?"

   Derik looked at my hand for a moment before smiling awkwardly and
shaking it.  "Yeah, of course.  Friends.  All of us."

   "This is good," Theresa smiled.  "Jenna would have liked to see this. 
We should tell her."

   "Speaking of Jenna," Andy spoke up, "What are we gonna do?  We have to
take care of her, but how?"

   "I don't know," I admitted.  "I don't know how much this is affecting
her yet.  If we try to comfort her too much we may just end up smothering
her and making it worse."

   "I think she'll be okay," Amelia spoke firmly.  "She's going to need
time...anyone would.  But I'm telling all of you, the girl's a lot stronger
than we give her credit for on the inside."

   "I believe it," I seconded.

   "I know she is," Theresa said, but wouldn't elaborate past that.

   "Should we try to talk about it with her?" Andy asked.  "Or should we
wait till she brings it up?"

   "She won't bring it up," Theresa pointed out.  "She's naturally too
quiet to talk about something like that in the first place.  That it
happened to her makes it even worse."

   Derik leaned against the brick wall of the school and shook his head. 
"But what if we upset her by saying something?"

   "We just have to go slow," I suggested.  "Use your own judgment on if or
when to bring it up, but feel her out first.  See if it seems like she
would be willing to talk about it."

   "Some of us don't really know her well enough to tell yet," Andy
grumbled.

   "When do you really have a chance to talk to her alone?" Amelia asked.

   "I might run into her in the halls or something," Andy protested.

   "Yeah, because the hallway is a great place to talk to her about
something like this," Amelia snapped.

   "All right, all right," Andy relented.

   "If you're not sure when it would be a good time to talk about it, look
to one of us that knows her better for your cues," Theresa suggested.

   "We're here to help her," Amelia reminded.  "As long as she knows we're
all here to help and do everything we can to support her, I don't think
we'll upset her too badly."

   We talked for a bit longer before agreeing that from tomorrow on we
would make extra sure to be as supportive as possible for Jenna and that we
would all be there for her.  We began to break up and go our separate ways.

   "Andy, can you give me a ride home?" I asked.

   Andrew gave me a strange look.  "As long as you put some clothes on
before you get in my car."

   I actually looked down to see if I really was naked, which was almost as
embarrassing a reaction as my being naked itself.  I looked up and blushed
in embarrassment.  I had honestly completely forgotten I had stripped back
down once I had arrived back on school grounds.

   "Damn Program," I muttered crossly and retrieved my clothes from the
sole box still remaining by the front doors.

   "I'll leave early tomorrow morning so I can pick you up," Andy offered
as we got into his car.

   "It's okay, don`t worry about it," I assured him, "I just didn't want to
walk home today, and I know you're not in a rush to get home since you've
missed practice and all that.  But I'll be fine walking in the morning."

   Andy glanced over at me as he pulled out of student parking.  "That's
like, almost an hours walk man."

   I shrugged and grinned at him.  "I'm in good enough shape to make it. 
Maybe."

   "It's your call chief, but I wouldn't mind getting you."

   "I know," I replied.  I sank down into the seat and shut my eyes.  "I
don't want to give my mom more ammo to use against me.  I think if a car
pulls in the drive to pick me up again she's going to throw beer bottles at
it.  We`re already at risk of that happening if you drop me off."

   "I understand, Sam," he assured me.  "I wouldn't want to tempt fate
either."

   "I wish I didn't have to fucking worry about it," I muttered.  This, of
course, was why I had come back to school when I didn't really even have
to; I didn't want to go home and deal with my mom.  My dad probably
wouldn't be home till pretty late.  I had no idea what kind of frame of
mind my mom would be in when I got home.  I felt the tension returning to
my shoulders and back just thinking about it.  Today was just one damn
thing after another.

   We pulled into my drive and I stepped out.

   "Hang in there man," Andy told me.  I nodded and clasped his hand.

   "Thanks for the ride.  I'll be fine, just be sure your parents aren't
too pissed at you for missing practice."

   "Eh, it doesn`t really matter," Andy smirked.  " Mom, Dad, the
coach...each and every one of them can bite me for all I care.  Friends
come first."

   "Thanks man, I really appreciate it," I said sincerely.  "Just blame me,
it'll be cool.  I'll see you tomorrow."

   I waved as Andy pulled out of the drive, then went into my house.  I
felt instantly depressed by what a filthy wreck everything was.  Every day
it got worse.  I sighed and put my book bag on the floor by the door, then
went to my small room and plopped down on my bed.

   I laid there, staring at the ceiling, for a long time, my mind heavy
with thoughts of Jenna and the assault.  I tried to put the whole thing out
of my mind.  It wasn't working.  I glanced around my room.  It was small,
the smallest room in the house.  It was a bit cluttered; All the personal
things I had ever had over the years were crowded into the room.  If I let
any of my stuff sit anywhere else in the house, even in storage in the
garage or attic, there was a good chance Mom would sell it.  Still, even as
cramped and crowded as my room was, it was a lot cleaner than the rest of
the house.  My closet was too small, even for the small number of clothes I
had.  I had a bunch of old toys that I was unwilling to part with for some
reason stuffed under my bed.  I had a small, cramped desk in one corner to
do school work and other writing or bookwork at with a dusty and seldom
used desk lamp sitting on the desktop along with some scattered papers and
several pens.

   A slim but tall book-case sat against the wall near the foot of my bed.
My books filled it to overflowing.  My books; the only possessions I had
that I really cared about.  I had little in the way of things I could
entertain myself with.  Mom refused to let me have a TV of my own, and we
couldn't afford it with her selfish spending habits anyway.  Books were my
escape.  Reading was one of the things I loved about school; I could quite
happily read almost anything.

   I picked up my worn copy of The Iliad and started at the beginning.  I
loved Homer.  I had read both The Iliad and The Odyssey many times, and
always ended up reading them again.  Classics were classics for a reason,
dammit.

   By the time I had finished reading for the day several hours had passed
and it was well into the evening and approaching night.  It was already
dark outside.  I set my book down and felt hungry and thirsty.  I still
hadn't eaten yet today.  I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge.
There was hardly anything inside, and most of the refrigerators contents
were of questionable age.  The rest were Moms beer and other alcoholic
drinks.  I picked up the carton of orange juice and gave it a shake.  There
was hardly more than a mouthful left.

   I shut the fridge and leaned against the dirty countertop, thinking
about what had happened.  I couldn't even believe it still.  I don't think
there had been a rape at Monroe High in a very long time, if ever.  There'd
never been one while I had been attending at least.  Monroe had a good
reputation for being a well ordered school with the lowest number of fights
or otherwise unwanted conduct in the area.

   I was worried about Jenna and how she was holding up.  How was she
dealing with what had happened?  Did her family know yet?  I wondered if I
should call her and see how she was doing.  I was worried about her.

   And I missed her.

   I drank the last of the orange juice from the carton.  I was completely
distracted by how heavily I was mulling over my thoughts and wasn't paying
any attention to what was going on around me.

   I jumped near out of my skin when an empty beer can beamed me across the
head.  I glared at my mother and slammed the empty carton of orange juice
onto the counter.  "What the hell was what for?" I demanded loudly.

   "You fuckin' know what that was f-for!" She slurred angrily.  I could
almost smell her breath across the room.  She was drunker than I had seen
her in a while.

   I grabbed the counter so tightly my knuckles went white.  My temper was
beginning to fray already.  On top of everything else, now my mom was
starting shit in a drunken fit.  I tried to bring my temper under control.
I don't know how well it was working.  "No, I don't.  Maybe you should try
explaining.  For once," I said, trying to keep my voice steady and calm.

   "You fuckin' tried to rape a girl!" She spat.  Even as she tried to
confront me she was swaying badly on her feet and had to lean against the
doorframe.

   "What?" I said tightly, unable to believe what she had said.

   "You fuckin' know!" She slurred.  "The sh...s...school called.  They
said you...you raped some girl!"

   I began to tremble, unable to believe my mother could have possibly made
such a bad situation even worse.  "I didn't rape a girl.  I didn't try to
rape a girl.  I stopped a rape.  I kept it from happening."

   "Liar!" She snarled.  "Always t-ty...tryin' to save your own damn skin!"

   I shook my head and swallowed.  I didn't want a fight.  I didn't want to
lose my temper.  I just wanted the situation to go away.  "If I had gotten
caught trying to rape a girl, don't you think the police would have me in
custody right now?"

   My mom paused, and seemed to be trying hard to piece my words together.
She mumbled several things under her breath, as if trying to find a way to
refute what I had to say.  Finally she spat out, "I fuckin' know you did it
you little bastard!  You've always been trouble!  First you got your ass in
the Program so you could cause trouble, and now this!  D-don't lie, I know
you, you little shit!"

   I snapped.  I spun and put my fist through a cabinet door before ripping
it off the hinges and tossing it into the wall across the room.  "You don't
fucking know me!" I screamed at her.  I stalked across the kitchen.  She
tried to keep me cornered by blocking my way out the kitchen door.  Even as
enraged as I was, I couldn't bring myself to hurt her, but neither was I
entirely gentle when I pushed her out of my way.

   "You don't know a fucking thing about me!  You never tried!  You've
never even tried to talk to me except to accuse me of some absurd bullshit
like this!  You are the fucking worse mother I've ever even heard of!  What
the fuck is wrong with you?"

   I roared and bellowed out my pain and frustration as I grabbed my book
bag up and ripped a piece of paper from my notebook.  I quickly scribbled a
note on it before spinning back to angrily face my mother.  She stared at
me from the kitchen doorway, wobbling unsteadily on her feet with an
uncomprehending look on her face.

   "Stay out of my life," I commanded as I pointed my finger accusingly at
her.  "Just stay the fuck away from me and never try to even look at me
again.  I'm done with you!  I should have quit letting you ruin my life and
make me miserable a long time ago.  Well I'm done with you goddammit!  You
hear me?  Done!"

   I slammed the door to my house and walked to the mailbox.  Dad would
check the mail like always when he got home.  I glanced at the note and
read it again:



   Dad,

   I can't take this house anymore.  I can't take her.  She accused me of
raping a girl, Dad.  If I stay here, I'm going to burst and do something
stupid.  I don't know where I am going to be tonight.  I won't come back
home.  Not until she's gone, for good.  I'll contact you when I can.

   This isn't your fault.

   Sam

   I put the note into the mail box and stalked away from the house.  My
fists were clenching and unclenching repeatedly.  I had had anger issues
for years, all because of that damnable woman.  I hated her.  I hated what
she did.  I hated how she had abused and broken my Dad.  I hated how she
had abused and broken me.  I hated how she hated me.  I hated myself
because I had never been good enough for her.  I hated so much, and I hated
that, too.

   Where I was going, which way I had even turned when I had gone storming
down the streets, I didn't know.  I didn't even glance at the street
markers, just walked, and walked, and cursed quietly.  I couldn't decide if
I was pissed and worn down from all the insane things that had happened
today or by years of hurt and sorrow and anger.  It didn't matter.  What
mattered was that I was away from that place, and I would never, never, let
that damn woman affect me again.

   Jenna

   The door opened a couple of hours later and Karla put her hand on my
shoulder.  "Jenna?" I stirred a bit.  I had been drifting in and out of
restless sleep since she had left me.  "Yes?" "Are you all right?  Can I
get you anything?" She asked.  She tried to sound soothing and motherly,
but it did little to mask the anxiety and concern she felt.  "No.  I'm
okay. I just want to rest." Karla patted my shoulder.  "I'm going to take
the kids and meet your father at the base, then we're going to take the
boys to soccer practice and to dinner.  He...I haven't told him yet.  I'm
going to try to while we're out.  I didn't want to tell him over the
phone." I nodded and said nothing.  "You want to stay home?" She ventured.
I nodded again and sat up a bit, trying to shake the misery off long enough
to talk to her.  "Yeah.  I don't really...think I need to go out right now.
And I don't want the kids to see me before I pull myself together more.  Go
have a good time and don't worry about me." Karla's eyes misted up and she
took my hand in hers and squeezed it tightly.  "I worry about you, Jenna.
We all do.  Never forget that." "I know." I swallowed heavily and forced a
smile that I don't think Karla bought any more than I did.  "But I'll be
okay.  I just need to get myself together.  I just need time.  I think.  I
don't really know.  But I'll be okay." Karla nodded and released my hand.
She eyed me with concern.  "Are you going to be okay here on your own?" "I
think some time alone may be what I need most right now," I replied
honestly.  Karla kissed my forehead and stood up.  "Call us if you need
anything, Jenna.  Anything at all, no matter what it is.  Both our phones
will be on." "I will," I promised.  "Just please make sure that the kids
don't find out.  And..." my voice shook a bit, "Please make sure Dad is
calm when he comes to talk to me about it.  I don't think I can take his
yelling right now." Karla nodded.  My father was not an angry man, nor did
I think his yelling would be directed toward me.  But when something got
him emotional, he showed it, and seldom knew the volume of his own voice.
Normally it wouldn't have bothered me; right now, I wasn't sure how I would
handle it.  "Relax and try to rest.  Let us know if you need anything,"
Karla repeated.  "Do you want anything from dinner?" I shrugged.  "If you
bring something home I'll eat it.  But don't worry about it." "I'll take
care of it.  I love you, little girl," Karla said.  I smiled at her, and
this time it was sincere.  "I love you too, Karla." She hugged me tightly,
more tightly than I thought she could, then kissed my forehead and stepped
out of my room.  I listened to the car pulling out the drive and tried to
go back to sleep.  I had thought about the assault and come to a point, I
guess.  I hadn't come to terms with it, that much I knew; it would take
time before I was able to figure out exactly how I felt about it and how I
was going to deal with it in the future.  But I had at least realized that
I was going to be okay.  I wasn't going to let this whole thing ruin my
life.  I wasn't going to let it scare me away from men.  I wasn't going to
agonize over it and waste away.  I was determined to live with it, one way
or another, and live life as fully as I was able.  I don't know how long I
lay awake in bed, trying to put my feelings in order.  Lilly's patience,
apparently, wore out in the meantime, and she began to mewl softly and
scratch at my shut door.  I slowly crawled out of bed, picked her up,
hugged her, and let her out.  She bolted out of my room and loped down the
stairs with kittenish energy.  I followed more slowly.  The house was quiet
and still, for which I was grateful.  I loved my family and how boisterous
and noisy we were; I was of the opinion that a quiet, silent house full of
kids was unhealthy and unnatural.  But for the moment, silence was a
blessed thing that soothed my frayed nerves and emotions.  Dark began to
settle outside a bit early, probably due to the clouds gathering outside. I
distantly wondered if soccer practice was going to get rained on.  My
stomach pinched angrily with hunger and I realized I hadn't eaten since
breakfast.  I walked into the kitchen and numbly pulled a can of chicken
soup out of one of the cabinets.  Somehow chicken soup had always been a
comfort food for me.  Chicken soup did always make things better.

   Lilly jumped onto the counter and rubbed against my arm as I put my soup
into the microwave.  I pet her absently, watching her as she rubbed her
fuzzy little head against my palm in kitty ecstasy.

   I ate my soup while my cat batted at the fingers I drummed on the table.
I felt like I was on a roller coaster; one moment I felt like I was going
to be all right and normal, almost as if I could let today go and try to
focus on something else, and the next moment I was dragged back down into
sorrow and uncertainty all over again.  It made me dizzy, really.

   When I put he dishes in the sink their noisome clanging filled my
senses. I was suddenly aware of the silence in the house, heavy and
encompassing.  It was quiet and still, and suddenly I wasn't so grateful
for that any more.  I began to breathe heavily and my chin quivered in a
single, silent sob.  I suddenly felt very, very alone, and I wanted nothing
in more in the world than to have contact with someone.  I needed a hug.  I
needed someone to hold on to.  I needed to know that someone cared about me
and wanted what was best for me, and wouldn't hurt me again.  I desperately
wished I had gone with my family.

   The doorbell rang and I only just bit off a scream.  I sat down on the
kitchen floor and wrapped my arms around my knees, quivering with fear.  I
told myself I was being unreasonable.  I told myself that it was probably a
neighbor, or a salesman, or one of my siblings' little friends coming to
see if they were home and could come out to play.  But all I saw in my head
were three jocks crowding around me and trying to use my body, no matter
how it hurt me.

   Several moments passed and the doorbell rang again.  I drew a shaky
breath and squeezed my eyes tight shut.  Just go away.  Just go away. 
Please...just go away.

   Lilly nudged my hand with her little head and meowed softly.  I glanced
down at her and her tail swished once, twice, and then she spun and off.  I
took a deep breath and came up to my feet.  I set my jaw with all the
stubbornness and determination I could muster.  I would not let them ruin
my life.  I would not let them make me afraid of my own shadow.  I wouldn't
give them that kind of power over me.

   My hand shook despite my conviction as it grabbed the door knob of the
front door.  I set my lips into a grim line.  I was suddenly mad at how
badly I had been shaken.  I left the chain in place and, without checking
the peephole, I opened the door a crack and looked outside.

   "Sam!" I exclaimed in surprise and hastily undid the chain then threw
the door open.

   "I don't know why I'm here," he said softly.  "I...I didn't know where
to go."

   "Come in," I said quickly.  All thought of myself and what I had been
through suddenly fell away.  I motioned for him to enter.  He hesitated a
moment then stepped inside.

   "I'm sorry.  I shouldn't be here," he said as he glanced at me
furtively. "I don't want to bother you.  I should go."

   "Hush," I told him softly.  I grabbed his hand and he let me lead him to
our couch.  I gently pushed at his shoulders and he sat down.  "Tell me
what's wrong."

   Sam pulled his arms across his chest and shut his eyes.  A muscle worked
in his jaw as he tried to find words.  I waited till he was ready.

   "My mom was really, really drunk when I got home.  She just
started...screaming at me.  Pulling her usual bullshit." He leaned forward
and ran his hands through his shaggy copper curls.  "I couldn't take it. 
I've been fed up with her for a long time.  I left.  Maybe for good.  I
won't live in the same house with her any more.  I won't.:"

   I put a hand on his shoulder and waited till he turned to look at me. 
"It's okay.  I don't blame you one bit.  Tell me about it."

   "She..." he stopped and it took a few moments for him to compose
himself. I could feel him shaking.  "The school called.  She was too drunk
to understand what they were trying to tell her, I guess.  She got the
message mixed up.  She...she accused me of being the one who tried...who
tried to..."

   "Oh my god," I breathed softly.  I couldn't even imagine how being
accused of something so ridiculous from your own mom must have felt.

   "She started ranting about ridiculous shit, just like she always does. I
couldn't take it.  I couldn't take being accused of that.  By my mother,"
he spat the last word like a curse.  "I just had to leave.  I won't go
back, not as long as she's in that house.  I wrote a note for my Dad...I
don't know what to do now.  I've got nowhere to go."

   Wordlessly I hugged him, wrapping my arms around him and gently rocking
him back and forth.  I heard a sob half-choked in his throat, but when I
looked his eyes were dry and his face expressionless.  I knew how hard it
was for him to keep himself together.

   "I'm sorry, Sam," I said softly.

   "No," he replied after a moment.  He sat up and straightened his
shoulders, but he didn't push my arms away.  He looked me in the face.  His
eyes swam with pain, but I could see his concern for me pushing that pain
aside.  It broke my heart.

   "I'm the one that's sorry," he said.  "You're here, hurting, dealing
with the horrible thing that happened to you today, and I come here with my
problems and try to dump them at your feet."

   "Don't," I said softly.  "Don't push me away.  I can help you.  You can
help me."

   "I don't want to burden you," he said stubbornly.

   "Maybe it's not a burden.  Maybe I need to help someone.  Maybe I need
to help someone so I can help myself and stop worrying about myself.  Maybe
I need someone here with me.  I...don't want to be alone."

   "Where's your family?" He asked, suddenly glancing around the house as
if noticing for the first time that no one else was around.

   "They went out," I said.

   I pulled my arms away from him, suddenly awkwardly aware of the warmth
of his skin against mine.  "My mom...I mean, my step-mom, Karla...is
supposed to tell my Dad about what happened...at school.  They took my
brothers and sisters with them.  I told Karla I wanted to be alone...but I
don't.  Not anymore at least."

   I gave him a pleading look.  I was so afraid, so afraid that he was
going to leave me alone.  Something of how I felt must have gotten through
to him, because he nodded and reached out to give my hand a squeeze.

   "Okay," he said softly.  "I'll stay...but only if it's okay with your
parents.  I won't get you in trouble on my account."

   "It'll be fine," I said.

   "Check?" he asked.  The look he gave me told me it would be more for his
piece of mind than mine.

   "Okay," I sighed.  "I'll be right back.  Make yourself comfortable."

   I walked to the kitchen and dialed Karla's cell phone.  I twisted the
phone cord (yes, we had one of those primitive wall-phones that still had
the cord.  No one else I knew did) around my fingers nervously as it rang.

   "Hello?" Karla answered.

   "Karla.  It's me."

   "Jenna?" Panic.  "Are you okay?  Is everything alright?  I'm on my way
home, just sit tight and I'll..."

   "Karla, Karla, it's okay," I quickly assured her.  "I'm fine. 
Everything's fine."

   "Oh." Relief.  Big time.  "What's up then?  Can I do something for you
sweetie?  Huh?  No, she's fine!  She told me she's fine, okay?" Karla was
reassuring my Dad, who I could hear freaking out in the muffled background.
This meant she had probably told him what had happened already...

   "Karla, I need a favor."

   "What?  Oh.  What favor?"

   I bit my lower lip.  I didn't know quite how well this would go over
with Karla, more-less my Dad.  "Sam showed up at the house.  He's...having
some really serious family issues.  He can't go home.  He's pretty freaked
out and he doesn't really have anywhere else to go."

   "Is he okay?  Is he hurt?" Karla asked urgently.  I heard my Dad asking
questions in the background, but Karla was ignoring him.

   "No, just freaked.  I don't know completely what's happening yet, but I
really think he needs someone to talk to and someplace besides home to stay
for a bit.  Can he hang out here till he figures out what he's going to do
or we figure out what else to do with him?"

   Karla hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Are you comfortable with
that? Really comfortable?  Don't go being nice, Jenna.  If you're not
comfortable, don't say you are just to accommodate someone.  I know how you
are."

   "I`m comfortable," I said firmly.  "I want to help him.  And...I want
him here.  I think I need him here, Karla."

   There was a pause on the other end of the line, then she hesitantly
said, "Okay."

   "Okay?" I questioned, my heart beating faster.

   "Okay.  Till we get home, maybe longer.  We'll have to talk about it. 
If you are sure."

   "I'm sure."

   "Then it's fine," Karla replied.

   "Dad isn't going to freak?" I asked uncertainly.

   "I'll deal with that.  You focus on putting things back together over
there.  We'll be home around nine or nine thirty."

   I blinked in a bit of surprise.  "On a school night?"

   "I'll stall," Karla whispered into the phone, then in her normal voice,
"We'll probably end up taking a bit longer at dinner.  I may get the kids
some much needed desert."

   "Thanks Karla," I breathed.  "You're the greatest.  Bye."

   I found Sam sitting in the same place I had left him, though he had at
least taken his shoes off and put them by the door.

   "They said it's fine," I reported as I sat down beside him.

   "They aren't going to be mad?" He asked uncertain.

   "No, they're fine.  I promise."

   Sam nodded and looked down.  "I'm really sorry about this, Jenna.  With
all that happened today, now..."

   "Stop, It's okay.  Stop beating yourself up." My voice began to quiver a
bit, but I kept myself together.  "You've done nothing but good today.  If
it weren't for you, I don't...you've saved me, Sam.  In a lot of ways. 
You've gone way past the duties of a partner...way past the duties of a
friend, even.  I never thought anyone would do so much for me.  The least I
can do is be here for you."

   "I'm happy to do all of it," he said, finally looking up at me.  "I
think...I mean...you're a wonderful person.  You're one of the most awesome
girls I've ever met.  I would never want anything to happen to you.  And I
swear I'm going to make sure nothing does."

   I nodded and smiled, the most genuine, warm smile I had been able to
give since this afternoon.  I felt it.  It felt good to smile again.  He
made me smile so easily.  "I know you won't.  I know that."

   I hugged him impulsive, unable to help myself.  I felt a connection with
him, almost overpowering in its intensity despite all that had happened. 
It was the only connection I could feel, like a lifeline thrown to me in a
dark and angry ocean.  I clung to it fiercely.

   I felt his hand brush against my forearm arm and leave a trail of
wetness.  I glanced down at his hand, almost expecting to find tears he'd
wiped away or something.  Instead I saw a small smear of red across the
back of his hand.

   "You're bleeding," I said with concern.  I took his hand into mine and
looked at it.  There were a few small cuts across the back of his hand, his
knuckles were red, and a splinter was stuck between his first two fingers.
I looked up at him worriedly.  "What happened?"

   Sam looked down and tried to pull his hand away.  "Lost my temper," he
mumbled.  I was surprised by his honesty.  I could tell he was ashamed, and
probably worried he was going to scare me, but he didn't try to hide the
truth from me.

   "Does that happen often?" I asked softly.

   He looked up at me and struggled to keep his face expressionless.  His
eyes couldn't lie, though.  Pain flooded their silvery depths, mingling
with a touch of bitterness.  "What?  My losing my temper?  Or my punching a
hole in a cabinet?"

   "Either.  Both."

   He shook his head and the shame flashed over his face again.  "No.  To
both.  The punching the hole in the cabinet was a first, actually."

   I nodded.  I believed him, and I somehow knew that the loss of his
temper wasn't at all his fault.  I probably should have been afraid, but I
wasn't, not at all.

   "Come on, let's go get this taken care of," I said, standing up with his
hand still held between mine.

   "It's okay, really," he said.  "I'm fine."

   "I don't want you bleeding on the carpet," I said, smiling lightly at
him.  He looked at me for a moment before his lips curled into his crooked
smile.  I was surprised to find my blood pounding fast and a blush creeping
into my cheeks at that smile.  It was as if the afternoon hadn't even
happened.

   "In that case, lead on," Sam said, and stood up to follow me.

   I led him into the upstairs bathroom and got a few Band-Aids and some
tweezers.  We went into my room and I motioned for him to sit.

   "Nice room," he commented as I sat down on the bed beside him.

   I grabbed some tissues and dabbed at the blood on his hands.  "It's
girly."

   "You're a girl," he said with a smirk.

   "You noticed," I accused as I wiped the last of the blood away.  The
cuts weren't nearly as bad as I had thought, but they continued to well up
blood even after I wiped them clean again.

   "Must've hit a vein or something," Sam suggested.

   I laughed softly and shook my head.  "I'm glad you can joke so easily
while you get so close to bleeding all over my stuff.

   The horrified look on his face caused me to laugh again.  "I'm kidding."

   Sam smiled sheepishly.  "I think that's one of the rules for being a
good guest: `don't bleed on your host's stuff'."

   His hands finally stopped bleeding.  I threw the bloodied tissues into
my trashcan and grabbed the tweezers.  I pulled at the splinter between his
knuckles and he flinched.  I chuckled softly.  "I watched you take a kick
in the face today without batting a lash, and now you're going to tell me
this hurts?"

   Sam turned red, which almost made me melt, it was so sweet.

   "I hate splinters," he muttered, and resolutely sat impassively as I
pulled the splinter out.

   "I don't know, this is almost big enough to be called a sliver, really,"
I said as I inspected the extracted splinter.  The hole where it had been
began to well up with a bit of blood.  I dabbed and wiped it several times
before it stopped bleeding so freely.

   While I was grabbing the Band-Aids and taking them out of the wrappers,
Lilly took the opportunity to jump up onto my bed and make her presence
known.

   "Lilly!" I scolded playfully.

   "She's a cutie," Sam smiled.  He reached down with his other hand and
scratched behind her ears.  Lilly fell down in feline glee, purring her
little head off as Sam pet and stroked her.  I felt oddly jealous of my
kitten for getting all that attention.

   "So do you want to talk about what happened?" I asked as I put the
Band-Aids on the back of his hands.

   "Which one?" he replied softly.

   "At your house," I replied.  I scooted a bit closer and watched him
closely.  I was watching him watch me.  I was suddenly aware of how close
he was to me and how tense the air between us was.  I didn't care.  I
didn't back away.

   "I'm not really sure what to say," he admitted.  "I...it was a lot of
things, I think.  My mom, she hasn't been very good to me or my Dad since I
was really young...I told you about this this morning.  I didn't tell you
about how abusive she was.  She's never tried to hit me...I think by the
time she got far gone enough to want to, I was already too big to hit, and
I wouldn't have stood for it."

   His eyes became distant and I could see them going through months,
years, entire spans of his life.  My heart ached for him.

   "She's always put me down," he said.  "She's always told me I'm useless,
or no good, or trouble, or even worse.  She started cursing me openly a few
years ago."

   Sam smiled bitterly.  "My self-esteem isn't so great, as I'm sure you've
noticed.  But it should be a lot, lot worse.  My Dad has done his absolute
best to correct what damage my mom has done, or at least help to repair as
much of it as he could.  Between him and my Sensei, I've stayed sane and
actually have enough self-esteem and confidence to get me by. 
But...it...it still hurts."

   I put an arm around him and leaned my head against his shoulder.  I felt
my eyes misting in sympathy.

   Sam gently took my hand and squeezed it.  "I'm okay.  I've learned to
live with it.  Mostly.  At least I thought so, till today.  I thought I
could just ignore her and ride it out and be strong enough to take it.  But
I couldn't."

   "That has nothing to do with your strength, Sam," I said softly.  I
looked into his eyes and returned his squeeze.  "You're right, you know. 
You are confident, and you do have a working level of self-esteem, and
that's frankly amazing to me considering what you've dealt with through the
years.  And you're incredibly strong to have come through it with as
positive and upbeat attitude.  Maybe...maybe you still have a lot of issues
you have to deal with.  But despite that you've still managed to be a
supportive partner to me this week and keep me afloat with your confidence
and positive attitude.  That is strength."

   He nodded slowly and smiled softly at me.  "Thank you.  I'm glad you
think so.  I'm glad someone does.  Anyway, I just couldn't take it any
more. I maintain I've figured myself out for the most part.  I don't need
counseling or anything.  I've come to terms with my family and my past, and
I'm going to live through it and be stronger for it.

   "But tonight I realized that part of accepting it and moving on is
to...well, move on," he explained.  "I think the longer I stay in that
house and around that damn woman, the more likely I'll end up losing all
the resolution I fought so hard for."

   "Then you getting out of there is for the best," I assured him.

   Sam nodded and let out a sigh.  "I should've left sooner, really.  But
my Dad was keeping me there.  Not literally, I mean.  I was worried about
him and didn't want to leave him.  So I put up with it.  But what she said
and did tonight, everything she's done over the years, all the stuff that
happened at school...well, it was just too much, I think.  I finally
decided I'd had enough of her bullshit."

   "Your Dad," I ventured hesitantly, "does...he know?"

   "Well yeah.  I mean, kind of," Sam shrugged.  "He knows how much of a
slob she is, of course, and he knows she yells at me.  Hell, she yells at
him.  I don't think he knows just how much she yells at me though, or how
ugly she is to me.  He's not home very much, you know.  He works.  A lot.
My mom refuses to get off her ass for anything, except maybe to run up a
credit card and try her best to run us into debt.  So he has to work pretty
much day and night just to keep us out of the hole, plus feed and clothe me
and make sure I get a good education and everything.  I got a job once, to
try and help out at the house, but my grades slipped a bit and he ordered
me to quit and focus on schooling."

   I nodded and bit my lip.  "And you never thought to tell him?  About how
bad your mom is?"

   Sam shook his head and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. 
"I couldn't.  He's got so much on his plate already...I can't add to it. 
He's nearly losing it with the strain of so much work and dealing with my
mom as it is."

   "He would want to know, I'm sure," I pointed out.

   "I know," Sam replied, "But I just can't.  I'm afraid it'll completely
break him, and I could never live with myself if I did something like that
to him."

   "Is he happy with your mom?" I asked.

   Sam shrugged again and looked down.  "Hell if I know.  I can't see how
he would be.  But you know how some people are.  They can love a person no
matter what.  I think the way my mom treats my Dad is horrible.  He
completely and totally deserves better.  But who am I to tell him how to
live?  Who am I to say who he should and shouldn't be with?  He must still
love her.  Why else would he stay with her despite how much she puts him
through?"

   I gave Sam's hand a squeeze and looked into his eyes.  "You're his son.
That gives you all the right in the world."

   "Maybe," he said evasively, and fell silent.  We sat there for several
moments, my head on his shoulder and arm around him with my hand in his.  I
shut my eyes and let out a sigh.  My kitten bumped against my leg, twice,
then gave up and hopped down to the floor.  The smell of my room surrounded
me and my familiar bed was under me, and Sam's warmth was radiating
soothingly against my skin.  He was so warm.  Incredibly warm.  I almost
wondered if he were ill.  But I liked it.  I was a very cold-natured
person, so I could never seem to get warm enough.  Just sitting beside him
filled me with comfort and security...I never thought for a moment of
anything but happiness and warmth.  It shocked me, in a way.  Mostly it
felt natural.  It felt right.  I began to drift off, hoping the perfect
moment would follow me into my dreams...

   "So what were you doing back there?"

   "Huh?" I snapped out of my comfortable reverie and sat up, blinking
repeatedly.

   "At the school," Sam explained.  He squeezed my hand.  He was close.  I
could smell him.  It made my head spin.  I hoped I wasn't blushing even
though I was sure I was.

   "What was I doing back...you mean behind the main building?"

   Sam nodded and smiled at me.

   "I was...on my way to see you," I said softly.  Now I knew I was
blushing.

   "Why?  You would've seen me at lunch, right?" He said.  He turned to
face me more fully.  He was so very close...

   "I...I wanted to talk...to you." I was stuttering.  I was trembling,
too.

   "About what?" He asked.

   "Nothing," I said quickly.  I was suddenly very sheepish.  I knew what I
wanted to say to him, and I wanted to say it so very badly.  But I was shy.
And I was scared.  Of being rejected.  Of sounding stupid.  And, a very
small part of me, of being hurt.

   "Tell me?  Please?" Sam asked.

   His hand came up and slowly slid through the hair dangling down the side
of my face.  His fingers slid through my locks smoothly, effortlessly, like
the rustling of silk against my cheek.  I shivered.  Just like that, all my
fears went away.  I could deny him nothing.  If he had told me to jump off
a cliff so that he could catch me at the ground, I would have gone laughing
joyously all the way down.

   "I wanted to see you," I breathed shakily.  "I wanted to talk with you
alone.  I wanted to tell you how I felt about you.  I wanted to tell
you...that I want you.  I want to be with you.  I want to be special to
you. I think...I think I may even love you."

   I hadn't admitted that to myself before now.  I knew as I spoke the
words that they were true.  All common sense told me otherwise; teenagers
fell into lust, not love.  Teenagers claimed they were in `love' with
someone, fell out of `love' five days later, and found an all new `love'
before two weeks were up.  I knew the pattern, which was exactly why I had
tried so hard not to get involved in any kind of relationship.  And now I
had said that I thought I was in love.  It was almost more than I could
fathom.  What was I doing?  Who was this reckless and passionate person I
had become?  Where was all my protection, my restraint, the guards and
barriers that I had always worked so hard to keep between myself and
others? They had all crumbled at the ground at the slightest touch from
Sam.

   Sam's breath caught in his throat and he gazed intensely at me.  For a
moment I panicked and wondered if I had just spilled my heart out to a guy
who felt nothing more than friendship toward me.  It was a horrible moment
of doubt and panic that was in some ways even worse than those moments I
had endured earlier that day.

   Then he put his arms around me and pulled me closer, almost into his
lap. I let myself go, flowing willingly into his arms and giving myself
over to his warmth and strength.

   "I feel the same way," he said.  "I was going to tell you today
too...after lunch or before we joined the others.  You're the most amazing
girl I've ever met...I wanted to tell you so bad...I've never had a
girlfriend because I've never found the right girl...till now.  I know
you're the right one for me."

   "Sam," I sighed.  The tension eased from my body and I tilted my head
back to look at him.  How was it that I was taller than him but I still had
to look up at him now that we were sitting down?  He smiled at me and bent
to me.

   Our lips met.  I felt a jolt of pleasure that was part physical, part
mental.  His lips were rough and warm, and slightly chapped but not badly
so.  He tasted smooth and quiet.

   My first kiss.

   We sat, motionless, our lips connecting us in so many ways.  We pulled
back and I gazed at him gazing at me.  "Wow," I breathed, then grinned
widely.  "I should really find something more original to say in these
situations, shouldn't I?"

   Sam laughed softly and smiled at me.  His hand came up play with my
bangs again.  "`Wow' sums it up pretty well, if you ask me."

   He leaned in to kiss me again, deeper this time.  I let out a soft
whimper.  I tightened my arms around him when he tried to pull away, and
pressed my lips into his.  Sam pulled me fully into his lap now, which was
exactly where I wanted to be.  We went slowly, neither of us completely
sure of ourselves, but we made up for our inexperience with passion and
tenderness.  My heart pounded hard in my chest, aching deeply for this
contact I so desperately craved.  I hadn't realized till now just how badly
I had wanted to do something like this.  I had held myself back for so
long, and now it was like all my hunger for sex and love and contact was
bursting from me unstoppably.  I wanted sex.  I wanted to feel that ecstasy
and joy.

   But mostly, I just wanted Sam.

   His hands came up to slide gently along my back.  Even through my shirt
his fingers set me afire.  I gasped into Sam's mouth and my body shuddered
at the wonderful sensation.  His fingertips slid along the neckline of my
shirt, teasing the sensitive flesh at the base of my neck.

   "God, that feels so good," I moaned as our lips separated.  I shut my
eyes and luxuriated in the feel of his hands.

   "You're so amazing," Sam said softly into my ear.  His arms were around
me, his warmth made me lightheaded, and I could feel the muscles of his arm
bulging against me.

   "Sam," I whispered.  I wondered if he could see the lust swimming in my
eyes.

   "Yes?"

   "Kiss me again," I requested.

   He leaned in and kissed me even deeper than before.  His arms tightening
around me.  I squirmed with pleasure in his lap.  His hesitation and
tentativeness was gone, at least for the moment, and I relished the
confident, firm way he kissed me and held me.  His tongue traced my lips. I
gladly parted them for him.  I shivered in pleasure as the kiss deepened
and his hands slid up and down my back, massaging, caressing, teasing my
sensitive areas and making me press more tightly to him.  I met his tongue
with mine, tasting him as he explored my mouth, reveling in the feel of
something so simple and every day as a kiss.  My tongue danced with his,
inexperienced but eager to apply itself to this new and exciting activity.
After a moment I pushed my tongue forward into his mouth to take my turn at
exploring.  His tongue caressed mine lovingly as I probed about his mouth.
My tongue brushed briefly over the cut on the inside of his upper lip,
still fresh and open, though I tasted no blood.  He did not flinch or give
any kind of reaction, but I made sure to carefully avoided it for now.  I
explored elsewhere, feeling his tongue, his lower lip, the roof of his
mouth.  I found all to my liking indeed.  My body called for his attention.
Heat began to spread like fire between my legs.  Slick wetness clung to my
outer lips and saturated my panties.  Inevitably we had to come up air. 
The kiss had stolen my breath and I breathed heavily for several moments.
Sam ran his hands along the length of my sides, massaging in slow but firm
circles.  He dipped his head down and began to kiss and nibble lightly at
my neck.  I tilted my head to give him easier access and ran my fingers
through his shaggy coppery hair.  The curls felt wonderful between my
fingers.

   "More, Sam," I whimpered in pleasure.  "I want you so much..."

   His tongue traced the hollow of my throat and his lips sucked softly at
the nape of my neck, inspiring me to new heights of lust and need.  As his
hand circled around my front to rub and caress my tummy, I hesitated.  For
just a moment, I wasn't totally sure what I was doing.  I began to shake a
bit, this time from fear.  I had never done anything like this before.  I
hadn't even been touched before the Program, and somehow this was
different. This was more.  I would not just be giving my body.  Not this
time.  And adding to my nervousness was the fear of what had happened this
afternoon.  I knew Sam would never hurt me, or at least most of me knew
that.  A small voice in the back of my head said otherwise, though.

   Sam looked up at me, his eyes concerned.  His hands stilled on my body.

   "Jenna?  Are you okay?" I gazed into those beautiful gray eyes.  I saw
lust, a lot of it.  But there was so much more than that.  I saw his
love...and I knew it was love, as surely as I knew I loved him.  I saw his
worry that he had hurt me, that this was bringing back awful memories and
he was scaring me.  I knew suddenly that if I wanted him to, he would stop
in an instant with no questions asked and no feelings hurt.

   And once I knew that, as before, I could deny him nothing.

   "I'm fine, Sam.  Just nervous," I murmured.  My lips curled into the
most loving and sincere smile I think I've ever given.  "I want you, Sam. I
want to be with you.  I want to be yours."

   Even as I spoke I laid back onto my bed, gently tugging him down with
me. I stared into his eyes and knew with sudden certainty that as long as I
could have him, I would be able to be happy for the rest of my life.

   "You're sure?" he asked as he swept a thick lock of my hair from my
face.

   "Positive.  Just...please, be gentle."

   I giggled as he returned his face to the crook of my neck, shivering at
the feel of his lips and tongue and the light tickling of his thin, boyish
stubble.  I marveled at how light he could make me feel.  Today hadn't
happened.  Today was just a bad dream that couldn't touch me now, here,
with him protecting me.

   Sam kissed at my face and our lips met again.  He rolled partly on top
of me and I welcomed him.  I practically arched into him.  His hands slid
along my arms, up my sides, through my hair, making me dizzy with pleasure
and uncertain just where I wanted them to stay and where I wanted them
next. His weight felt wonderful over me, manly and solid and strong.  I had
expected to feel trapped or suffocated and panicked, but it felt natural
and right to have Sam so close and solid above me.

   I reached up and tugged at the back of his shirt, but the way he was
bent over me prevented it from coming off.  Sam sat up and pulled his shirt
free.  I gazed upon him, letting my gaze slide along his compact, lean
muscles with a new level of appreciation.  He gripped the bottom of my
shirt and I sat up so and raised my arms so he could pull it free.  His
hand slid around my back and unhooked my bra in about as long as it took me
to blink.

   "You have to teach me how to do that," I giggled.

   Sam grinned at me.  "And ruin my fun of getting to do it for you?"

   He pulled my bra free and stared at my heavy breasts as if seeing them
for the first time.  I pulled him to me and gasped in delight as his hands
lightly lifted my breasts.

   "I've wanted to feel these since the first day I saw them," Sam
murmured. His hands felt amazing on my breasts, the calloused fingers
sliding against my soft flesh with a light and gentle touch.  I moaned as
he gave them a squeeze.  I watched with as much wonder and lust as he while
he gave my breasts a light pat, making them bounce slightly in his hands.

   Sam lowered his face and kissed along my plump breasts.  He dragged his
tongue along the pale skin, leaving a thin streak of saliva leading toward
my swollen nipples.  I nearly cried out with pleasure as he took my aching
right nipple into his mouth and suckled it softly.  He sucked again, firmly
this time, and gave my breasts a squeeze.  His tongue swirled around the
stiff nub and I moaned.  I pressed my breasts into his face, pulling his
head into my soft cleavage.  He licked and sucked at the nipple, switching
from one to the other and back again.  I clenched my thighs together in
delight.  I could feel the heat radiating from my pussy.  I had soaked my
panties completely through.  At this rate my pants would be next.

   Sam's hands roamed my body while he continued sucking and slurping on my
nipples.  His tongue poked at the thick fleshy nub and he took as much of
my breast flesh into his mouth as he could before sucking firmly at it. 
The suction and moist pressure of his lips drove me wild.

   I pulled Sam up and off of my breasts, mashing my lips passionately into
his as my hands slid down his hard body.  I caressed his throbbing cock
through his pants.  I moaned into his mouth at the feel of it.  Sam's hands
came down and began fiddling with the buttons of my shorts, evidently not
as talented in undoing those as he was with a bra.

   "Let me," I said as I broke the kiss.  I quickly undid the buttons on my
pants and yanked them off.  I was hot and horny and getting progressively
more and more impatient by the moment.  All the frustration that had built
up over the years was overwhelming me.  And Sam was having a very powerful
effect on me.  I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything in my
life.

   Sam stood, pulled off his pants, and kicked them across the floor.

   He smiled down at me and climbed onto the bed.  I pulled his boxers down
and his cock sprang up, bobbing several times.  I drank in the sight of it.
He sat down on the bed and I lay down and dropped my head into his lap.

   Cock tastes nice.  Or at least Sam's did, I decided.  It felt even more
arousing than ever, now that I knew what it was about to do to me.  I let
out a soft moan as he filled my mouth and his taste and smell invaded my
senses.  I still wasn't especially used to giving a blowjob, but I liked to
think I made up for my inexperience with the excitement I put into doing
it. I sucked firmly on Sam's dick and bobbed my head up and down along its
length, sliding more and more of it into my mouth.  I dropped down, trying
to get more past my lips.  It bumped against the back of my throat, making
me gag softly.  I backed off a bit and decided I would try to explore the
possibilities of taking him deeper another time, when I had a better
opportunity to try different things and experiment at my leisure.  I sucked
and slurped on his meaty shaft, my tongue sliding along the rigid flesh and
swirling about energetically.  I savored his taste and moaned around my
mouthful of cock.

   "Jenna," Sam shuddered.  I looked up at him, my mouth still wrapped
around his cock.  "God...you look so incredible like that," he said
thickly.

   I smiled at him around my mouthful and began to bob up and down his
length again.  He placed his hand on my shoulder to stop me fully this
time.

   "That feels awesome, don't get me wrong, but this is going to be over a
lot earlier than I'd like if you keep that up," Sam warned.

   I nodded and slowly drew back, sucking as hard as I could as I drew him
out of my mouth.  I heard him groan and his hand trembled on my shoulder. I
pulled off of his cock and the thick head exited my sucking grip with a
loud, wet pop.  I giggled and smiled at him, then bent to give his cock a
soft kiss before sitting up fully.

   "You're so beautiful," Sam said softly.  He laid me back down onto the
bed and squeezed at one of my breasts as he smiled down into my eyes.  "I
can't believe how damn sexy you are," he breathed.

   "Help me get these off?" I motioned to my panties.  I was wearing a lily
colored boy-shorts pair with lacey trim along the band.  It hugged my
crotch tightly and rode up, exposing a good half of my round ass to view.
Sam smiled and kissed me deeply on the lips before moving back and taking
the waist band of my panties in his hands.  I arched my hips up so he could
get them past my hips and ass.  He slid the panties off my legs and dropped
them distractedly on the floor.  I giggled again.  I couldn't stop
giggling. I felt like a school-girl.

   Sam's hand slid between my thighs and my giggles turned into a long,
throaty moan.  I opened my legs hastily for him, spreading out for him to
see and explore.  His fingers slipped along my plump pussy and dipped
between my smooth and swollen folds.  I pressed myself into that wonderful
hand and wiggled in pleasure.  He caressed my pussy, diddling it lightly
and circling his finger around my clit before moving down the length of my
slit.  His finger gently probed at my hole and slipped inside.  I moaned
and shook pleasantly as his finger caressed my inner walls, working slowly
deeper into my pussy.

   "Sam, please, I need you.  I need you so bad," I whimpered.  A flush of
arousal had spread from my face clear down to my breasts, a splash of pale
wine across my milky breasts.  I reached up and cupped one heavy boob as he
crawled atop me.  He bent to capture my lips with his and kiss me
passionately.  I melted into the kiss, moaning into his mouth as my tongue
reveled in the feel of his.  How had I denied myself this?  How could I
have given such wonderful feelings and ecstasy up?  I wasn't even having
sex yet and I was already addicted to this excitement, this closeness.

   As soon as I felt Sam's cock bump against my inner thigh I knew why I
had waited.  Because of him.  I was waiting for Sam.  I was waiting for him
to be my first, to make it special and right.  Part of me still wished I
had decided to do this earlier, but mostly I was glad I had found the
person I was meant to do it with.  Then a thought occurred to me and I
tensed nervously.

   "Sam, I have to tell you something," I whispered.  He stopped and gazed
at me questioningly.  One of his hands caressed and stroked the outside of
my thigh.

   "I...I don't have a hymen," I admitted anxiously.  "I tore it...playing
soccer when I was younger.  I'm sorry."

   Sam smiled at me and leaned in to kiss me lightly.  "You shouldn't worry
about that.  I'm not.  I don't care about your hymen, Jenna.  I care about
you."

   I sank into the bed in relief.  I smiled and reached down with one hand
to spread my pussy open.  His eyes locked upon it and he smiled widely.

   "Do it then, Sam.  Let me feel you inside."

   The head of Sam's dick slid up and down the length of my pussy, making
me jump in pleasure.

   "It's good," I assured him as he looked at me worriedly.  He ran it more
firmly along and I nearly spasmed with pleasure every time the hard head
pushed along my swollen clit.  He lowed his cock to my entrance and
hesitated.  I looked at him and his face showed for the first time that he
wasn't at all sure what he was doing.

   "Are you sure?" he asked one last time.

   "Do it," I urged him.  I smiled up at him and spread my pussy wider. 
"You won't hurt me, Sam.  Just go slow.  I want this.  I want you.  Nothing
you can do will be wrong."

   I think it's just what he needed to hear.  He nodded and smiled down at
me, a measure of his normal confidence and assurance returning.  He moved
forward.  I gasped and my eyes rolled back to stare at the ceiling.  It
felt so strange.  My pussy resisted for an instant before yielding to the
pressure of his firm cock.  My entrance stretched and widened as his head
disappeared into me.  I lay perfectly still and reveled in the sensations
coming from our joining.  It hurt, but it wasn't the kind of pain everyone
insists it is.  It was a stretching, a dull and gentle ache that was
insignificant next to the pleasure that was already overwhelming me.

   Sam suddenly froze after he had sank about two inches into me and pulled
quickly but gently out.  "Fuck, I can't believe I forgot about this," he
muttered.

   "What?  What's wrong?" I said in a small voice.  A dread rose in me and
I tried not to let my hammering heart choke me.  There was something wrong
with me.  He didn't want me.  I knew it was too good to be true.  I felt my
eyes misting.

   "We forgot to figure out the condom thing," Sam said.  He caressed my
side and looked worriedly at me.  "I want you, Jenna, but we can't be
careless about this.  We're too smart for that, both of us."

   I laughed deeply as relief and happiness washed over me.  I wrapped
myself around him, pulling him back down to me.  "Is that it?  I'm on the
shot, Sam."

   Sam's brows furrowed.  "You are?  Then you've..."

   "No," I assured him.  "This is my first time.  But Karla insisted that I
get it about a year ago, and I've been on it ever since.  She kept
insisting I may end up needing it." I giggled softly and traced his chest
with my finger.  "I guess she was right..."

   Sam visibly relaxed and smiled down at me.  "You're Mom...er...step
Mom...she's smart."

   "Sam..." I whispered into his ear.

   It turned out he needed little in the way of urging.  He grabbed his
cock and, after an awkward moment trying to line up with my pussy, sank
back in.  He filled me more quickly this time and I gasped and shivered as
his thick cock slowly stretched and filled me.  I squirmed and clung to him
as inch after inch drove into me.  Sam wasn't the biggest guy in history,
but he was certainly nicely endowed and very, very thick.  Being my first
time, it felt like he was opening me impossibly wide.

   "Oh my god," Sam moaned.  His hips pressed against mine and his short,
shaggy pubes were ever so slightly tickly against the smoothness of my
mound.  I marveled at how stuffed I was.

   "You're so tight...so warm," he murmured to me.

   "You're warm too," I breathed.  "You feel gigantic.  I've never felt
anything like this."

   "Me either," he replied.  For a moment we marveled at this new
experience together.  It was unreal.  No wonder sex was such a big issue
for so many people.  I suddenly understood much more clearly.  Oral sex,
the things I'd done in the Program...none of it came close to this.

   "Fuck me," I whispered to him.  He must have been on the same wave
length, because his hips were slowly but firmly pumping even as I spoke.

   He went slow at first, drawing his cock half out of my pussy before
sliding back in.  Back and forth he went, filling me over and over with his
wonderful warm dick.  I thrust my hips up to meet him.  Our rhythm was off
and we couldn't seem to match our strokes quite right.  I suppose it came
from both of us not knowing fully what to do.

   Sam was soon thrusting and pumping into me firmly, speeding up and
driving his cock deep into my soaking tunnel.  It was the most amazing
feeling I had ever experienced.  My arms wrapped around him, my hands
gripping and pulling at his back as I moaned and whimpered.  Soon I was
crying out in pleasure, my voice rising sharply as the boy of my dreams
fucked me.

   He lasted longer than I thought he would, especially for his first time,
and he tirelessly drove into me, his speed and force rising, though it was
obvious to me he was taking care not to be too rough or hard with his
lovemaking.  Even without using his full strength, his cock drove hard into
me, stretching me and spreading the ache my cunt felt.  I didn't care, I
was far too wrapped up with the pleasure and ecstasy of sex to notice any
pain.  I wondered if all guys were able to have sex so tirelessly, or if it
was because he was in such good shape and trained so rigorously.

   "It's too much," Sam groaned heavily after several more minutes of
glorious pleasure.  "I'm gonna cum, Jenna."

   "Cum in me Sam," I cried urgently.  I sped up the undulations of my
hips, making his cock drive deeper into me.  My pussy slurped noisily as
his shaft pumped into it.  "It's okay, you can do it.  Let me feel it!  I
want to feel you cum in me!"

   "Fuck!" Sam grunted loudly.  He slipped slightly on the bed and the
angle of his cock changed.  The head grated against the roof of my cunt.  I
spasmed violently as a lance of purest pleasure exploded into my body.

   "Oh god Sam!  Oh!  Oh!" I screamed as the head of his cock slid across
the same magical spot in my pussy.  My arms tightened around him.  "Right
there Sam!  Like that!  I...I'm going to cum!"

   Sam grit his jaw and firmly thrust his cock against the top of my slick
passage, hitting the spot over and over again with the head of his cock as
he plunged deeper every time.  He grunted out a moaning, hissing cry and I
felt the muscles of his back go tight and hard, bulging against my fingers.

   His cum splattered inside me, filling me, exploding into my passage as
he continued to angle his cock upward to hit that magical spot.  It was all
too much.

   "Sam!" I shrieked, as my pussy convulsed and squeezed down on his rod.
He continued pumping me purposefully.  The world swam around me as an
orgasm ripped powerfully through me.  It overwhelming me and took me
completely off guard.  It wasn't the same as the orgasm I had when he ate
me, or the orgasms I gave myself.  It was more powerful, more consuming. 
My whole body was tight, as if my muscles had all locked up and were
squeezing down on my bones.  I had no perception of the world around me, as
if I had gone...elsewhere.  All I felt was Sam's dick driving into me as my
pussy exploded.  Pleasured burned into me, searing me.  It almost hurt, it
was so good.  If the pleasure had been just a touch heavier it would have
completely suffocated me.

   I sank to the bed and realized I had been arched almost entirely off the
bed for longer than I could say.  I finally breathed.  I panted heavily as
I started shaking.  My body was covered in sweat and my hair was sticking
to the sides of my face.

   I started sobbing.

   "Oh my god, Jenna, Jenna are you okay?" Sam babbled.  He pulled out and
I nearly screamed at the loss.  I felt empty.  Completely, totally empty.
Well, that wasn't entirely true.  I could feel his cum still sticking wetly
to my insides.

   I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to me.  My body shook with
my sobbing, but it shook with my laughter too.  I stared at the ceiling,
trying to process all the feelings inside me.

   "That...was...incredible," I panted.  I couldn't catch my breath.

   "I hurt you," Sam stated.  I could see the panic and guilt all over his
face.

   I managed to smile weakly up at him.  "No you didn't, Sam.  You made me
feel more pleasure and happiness than I thought was possible.  That...that
was...so good...I can't believe you were so good..."

   I hugged myself to him and burried my face into his chest.  I started
crying again.  He held me to him for several moments, then rolled off of me
and laid down on the bed.  He pulled me to him.  I curled into the notch
between his arm and his side and laid my head on his chest again.

   "I'm sorry," I tried to say, but my words choked on a sob.

   "Shh," Sam murmured.  His arm tightened around me, pulling me closer as
his other hand caressed and smoothed back my sweat-damp hair.  I cried for
a few more moments before coming to a hiccupping end.

   "I'm so sick of crying," I complained.

   "You've been through a lot this week," Sam said soothingly.  I shut my
eyes and relished his hands in my hair and the simple warmth of him.

   "Did I hurt you?" He asked after a moment.

   "God no," I sighed.  "That was the most incredible, most wonderful thing
that has ever happened to me.  It was perfect.  You were perfect."

   "No, you were," Sam smiled.

   I snuggled into him more firmly.  "The first part of my crying was
because it felt so good, actually."

   I looked up at him and saw the pride gleaming in his eyes.  I giggled
and nuzzled his neck like a kitten.

   "And the rest was...?" He asked gently.

   I sighed and set my head back down on his chest.  "It was...today.  I
think.  I...tried to keep everything that happened out of my head while we
had sex.  I was scared...really scared.  I just wouldn't let myself admit
it or give in to it."

   "Jenna, we didn't have to..." he began.  I put my hand over his mouth
and looked up at him, into his eyes.

   "I wanted that.  I wanted you.  And if I let them keep me from what I
want, then they've won."

   "I would understand if you were scared or didn't feel comfortable," he
insisted.  "Anyone would be shaken.  I would've been.  Being scared or
unsure in a situation like this isn't letting them win, it's being human."

   I nodded and shut my eyes.  I could hear his heart beating into my ear
pressed against his chest.  It was steady and strong.  I drew on that
strength.  "I know that.  But I have to live my life without letting today
cripple me, and the sooner I do that, the better.  Tonight seemed a
perfectly good place to start to me."

   Sam nodded and we lay there silently for several minutes, simply
enjoying each others presence.

   "Was it really that good?" he asked after a moment.

   "Better," I smiled.

   "You were awesome too," he smiled.  "I've never felt anything so
incredible...you fit so tightly...you were so wet and slippery, so
warm...It's almost indescribable.  Nothing compares to it."

   I grinned at him coyly.  "Are you saying I don't give good blowjobs?"

   Sam laughed and squeezed me.  "You give wonderful blowjobs.  It's just
really different, that's all.  Plus it was so much better, being able to
give you pleasure at the same time.  You looked so beautiful when you were
enjoying yourself."

   I blushed.  How was it that I had just had sex with this boy, had just
given myself to him as intimately as I could, and he was still able to make
me blush?  "Thank you, Sam.  You say the sweetest things.  Charmer."

   "All of it's the truth," Sam said.  He grinned at me and caressed my
neck.  "I'm a crappy liar."

   I shivered and my body began to respond to his touch.  I playfully
slapped at his hand.  "Stop that!  You're going to get me going again."

   His grin grew even wider.  "So?"

   "You're terrible," I purred.  I leaned up and kissed him before sitting
fully up.  It felt cold without his arms around me.

   My eyes widen as I felt his cum starting to slip out of me now that I
was in an upward position.  I grabbed my panties and covered myself and
dashed to the bathroom.

   When I got back to my room Sam gave me a confused look.  "Things leak
out," I explained.  I turned quite red, I'm sure.

   "Oh," he chuckled.  "Sorry.  I didn't really think about that."

   "Me either," I said.  "Guess we're figuring stuff out together."

   I got a new pair of panties from my dresser and put them on.  I glanced
at him and smiled softly.  "We should probably get dressed.  My family is
going to get back pretty soon."

   Sam nodded and we dressed, then sat on my bed again.  He put his arm
around me and caressed my back absently.  We were silent for several
moments, probably both wondering who would say it first.

   "So...what does this mean?" Sam said at last.

   "I don't know," I said.  I looked into his eyes.  My voice was small as
I spoke, "I know what I want it to mean."

   "Me too," Sam said.  He took my hand and kissed it softly, smiling into
my eyes.  "I know its stupid for any teenager to say this, because it
always, always backfires...but I love you, Jenna.  I want to be with you. I
want you to be with me.  I want you to be mine.  I feel like...I
dunno...like boyfriend is inadequate for what I want to be to you."

   "I know," I smiled.  "Seems like all `boyfriend/girlfriend' couples at
school end up breaking up after a week."

   "I doubt most of those couples feel anything like what I feel for you,"
Sam replied.

   He kissed me.  For several moments we sat there, kissing, lingering in
an embrace that made me feel warm and safe and content.  I knew Sam would
protect me.  I knew he would never hurt me.

   We broke the kiss and smiled at each other before I stood and held a
hand out to him.  "Let's go downstairs.  I want to get something to drink.
You should meet my family as soon as they get home."

   "You sure they're okay with me being here?" Sam asked as we walked down
the stairs.

   "Yeah.  Well, um...sort of.  Karla said it's fine.  She said she would
make sure my Dad didn't give us a hard time when they got back.  She can
usually talk him into or out of things no one else can."

   "I don't want to make your Dad upset with you," Sam said nervously.

   I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and leaned into his arms and
kissed him.  I already loved the feel of his lips on mine.

   "Don't worry so much, Sam.  If Karla says she can convince my Dad, she
can.  She knows how to handle him.  And I think when my Dad meets you,
he'll like you.  Especially when he finds out what you did for me."

   Sam nodded and followed me into the kitchen.  I got us some soda and sat
on the counter.  He stood in front of me and I opened my legs so he could
lean between them.

   "So...are we a couple now?" I asked.

   "I told you how I felt about that.  How do you feel?"

   "I think I would like that very, very much," I purred to him.

   Sam smiled at me and caressed my side.  "I've never had a girlfriend
before."

   "Why not?" I asked.  "You're a great looking guy.  Sure, you may not be
all tall or be `classically handsome', but if you ask me you're the best
looking guy in school."

   "Yeah, of course you say that, now that I'm your boyfriend," Sam
grinned. I shivered at his words.

   I had a boyfriend.

   "Really Sam, you're a really attractive guy, plus you're sweet,
sensitive, funny...why haven't you had a girlfriend till now?"

   Sam shrugged and grinned up at me.  "I'm picky.  No girls have measured
up to my standards till now."

   I blinked at him.  "You're kidding."

   "Nope," Sam smiled.  "Like I said, I'm picky.  I've known what I wanted
for a long time.  I wanted a girl with dark hair.  I wanted a girl with a
beautiful smile.  I wanted a girl who was as smart, if not smarter than
me...a girl who would understand and enjoy my bizarre personality and sense
of humor.  A girl who was sweet and caring and loving.  And a girl with
curves."

   I laughed and lightly pushed his arm at that last part.  "We'll, I guess
I definitely fit at least a few of those, huh?" I grinned and glanced down
at my chest, which was nearly in Sam's face.  I doubt he minded.

   "All that and more," he smiled at me.  I melted into that smile all over
again.  "I have one question," I said.

   "Shoot," Sam replied.

   I fidgeted a bit and looked down into my lap.  "What about the Program?"

   "What about it?" Sam asked.

   "Well...guys are going to request to touch me.  And I can't tell them
no, just because you're my boyfriend now."

   Sam nodded.  "It'll be the same for me.  It's not really either of our
fault.  That's how the Program goes."

   I looked up into his eyes.  "Are you going to be okay with that?"

   "Are you?"

   I smiled at him and flicked his nose, which almost made him sneeze.  "I
asked first."

   He playfully tugged at a wayward lock of my hair.  "Yeah, I'm okay with
it.  I mean...it's not your fault if the Program says you have to comply
with requests for touching and stuff like that.  I'm not dumb enough to get
upset at you for something you have no control over."

   "I feel the same way, I replied.  I put my arms around his shoulders. 
We put our foreheads together and I savored the feel of him being so close.
"Um...what about relief?"

   "Well, no one can force us to take relief, so that should be okay."

   I shook my head.  My hair fell around both of us like a thick and silky
curtain.  "That's not what I meant.  I mean...do you still want to get
relief?  From anyone other than me?"

   "You're what I want," Sam replied.  He ran his hands along my side and
smiled at me.  "You're the most incredible person I've ever met.  You're
all I need."

   "That's not what I asked," I insisted.  Part of me wanted to let this
go, but I had an inkling I couldn't get rid of.  "I asked if you want
relief from others.  Tell me.  Honestly."

   Sam shrugged and looked down uncomfortably.  "I don't want to
lie...it's...it's nice.  It's interesting.  I've not really had a whole lot
of sexual contact before now." His eyes rose and looked into mine.  "But
it's just a physical thing.  It's just hormones and all that.  What I
really want is you.  You're what's important to me."

   "But you do want to keep having these experiences," I stated.

   Sam nodded slowly and looked down.

   "Thank you for being honest," I murmured.  I kissed his lips softly and
pulled back.  "I kind of feel the same way.  I mean...I don't find a single
guy in school more attractive than you.  I wouldn't ever want to do
anything to hurt you, and you definitely are the person I want to be
with...hopefully for a long, long time.  But...I do want to enjoy the
experiences the Program provides while it lasts."

   Sam nodded thoughtfully and squeezed my hand.  "Okay...so both of us
want to be together in a committed relationship.  But we also want to
finish this week out, taking the experiences to the fullest.  Is that about
right so far?"

   "That's how I feel, yeah," I replied.

   "Okay then," Sam said.  "What about...I dunno...boundaries?  What is and
isn't allowed?"

   "I don't really know...I haven't put a lot of thought into this or
anything, it just kind of occurred to me," I explained.

   "I understand," he said.  "It hadn't really even occurred to me.  I was
too busy being on cloud nine over, y'know, being with you."

   I smiled and kissed him softly on the cheek.  "You're a charmer," I
accused again.

   Sam grinned.  "This is true.  But so is what I just said."

   "Boundaries," I muttered distracted as he toyed with my hair.

   "Right.  Boundaries," Sam smiled.  "Well, um...what do you want to be
free to do?"

   "I don't know," I said.  "We obviously have to let people have their
requests if it's reasonable.  So that's grabbing and fondling pretty much
however they want."

   "Right," Sam replied.  "And we both want to be able to have relief, if
we feel like it.  So that's jacking off and all that, and oral sex."

   "Right."

   "Are you okay with all that so far?" Sam asked.

   "Yes, that's fine," I replied.  "What about...I dunno...touching someone
else or something?"

   "What do you mean?" Sam asked.

   I blushed furiously.  "Well, um, like in the showers after gym, I've
touched a few of the guys."

   "Yeah, that's fine," I replied.  "If you want to give them relief back
or something like that, I'd be okay with that."

   "You should too," I smiled at him.

   Sam shrugged.  "There's only like, three or four girls in martial arts
class.  I think all of the girls but Amelia are scared of me or something.
She's the only one who even talks to me in the showers."

   I smiled impishly at him.  "So get Amelia to do it with you."

   Sam blanched like he'd just tasted something horrible.  "I can't do
that. It's Amelia."

   "What's wrong with Amelia?" I asked.  "She's a pretty cute girl.  She
tries to hide behind her tomboyishness and all, but I bet she's hot under
it all, isn't she?"

   "Yeah," Sam admitted with a soft blush.  "But she's still Amelia. 
She's...I don't know.  We're just not like that.  I've never thought of her
that way."

   "Never?" I asked.

   "Well now," he grumbled.

   I laughed softly.  "I'm just saying it wouldn't bother me.  And I'd
frankly rather it be someone like Amelia.  I know she wouldn't mistreat you
or anything."

   "Mistreat me?  What?" Sam muttered.

   "Besides," I continued, ignoring his complaining.  "Isn't the Program
week all about broadening your horizons?"

   "Well, yeah," Sam admitted.  "We'll see what happens."

   "That's fine," I nodded.  "Like I said, I'm just saying it's okay with
me."

   "Do you know how bizarre it is to hear your brand new girlfriend tell
you she's okay with you messing around with another girl?" Sam asked with a
smile.

   I giggled.  "Probably about as bizarre as getting permission from your
brand new boyfriend to feel up other guys in the shower."

   "Hey," Sam grinned.  "I'd rather us experiment and try different things
and mess around like this, out in the open and honest, than find out later
that you've been messing around with guys without me even knowing about it.
I wouldn't mind you fooling around, not really...it's the deception and
lack of honesty that would bug me."

   "I agree," I said.  "Which reminds me." I leaned forward and whispered
into his ear.  "I want to know what happens.  I'm fine with pretty much
anything you do, but I want to know about all of it.  No secrets.  No
matter what happens.  Okay?"

   Sam nodded and squeezed me close.  "Okay, but only if you return the
favor."

   "Deal," I smiled.

   "Okay then." Sam leaned back and looked into my face.  "So we've got
more-less what is definitely allowed.  What about things that definitely
aren't allowed?"

   "Hmm," I murmured.  "Well, I guess intercourse for one, huh?"

   Sam looked thoughtful for a moment.  "I...won't say I would definitely
not let you have sex with another guy this week...it's the Program week,
we're supposed to explore things, and we won't get much more of a chance to
freely explore after this...but I would definitely want to talk to you
about it before I said yes.  We would need to figure out exactly how we
both feel about that, and how I felt about the guy you wanted to do it
with."

   "That's fair," I nodded.  "Same goes here.  I won't say definitely not,
but if you decide you want to do something like that we need to talk it out
first."

   "Okay, that works then."

   "I get first dibs," I said.

   "Huh?" Sam asked.

   I smiled and ran a finger down his chest.  "If you need relief in a
class we share, I get first dibs.  If you want another girl to do it, I
have to volunteer to pass my turn to her, so to speak."

   "I won't want to have anyone else if you're in class," Sam protested.

   "Hush," I smile.  "You never know.  I may end up getting tired or
something.  This applies to you getting first dibs too, okay?  Just agree."

   "Okay, I agree," he chuckled.

   "Great," I smiled.  "Do we need to cover anything else?"

   "Yeah.  I love you," Sam murmured.  I leaned into his strong arms and
kissed him deeply.  We sat for several moments, kissing and hugging each
other tightly.  I had finally found my guy, and he was the most amazing
person I had ever met.  We would continue through the Program and try to
take in what it had to offer while we further explored and developed our
relationship.  It was all I had ever wanted, really, and a lot more.  I was
content.

   "Okay," I gasped as I pulled back.  I laughed as he tried to kiss me
again and batted his hand away playfully.  "Sam!  Sam, we need to decide if
this is all we need to figure out with this."

   "It sounds good to me," he grinned.  "I don't think there's a lot of
stuff to worry about other than the stuff we've covered.  If anything else
comes up we can always talk about it then."

   "You sure?" I asked.

   Before he could reply the house suddenly filled with the shouting and
bickering of several children.

   "Family's home," I said.  I gave him a peck on the cheek and hopped down
from the counter.

   "Should I go?" Sam asked.

   "No!" I said firmly.  I grabbed his hand and squeezed it firmly. 
"You`re not going anywhere.  If possible, you`re staying here tonight
even."

   "Are you sure that`s a good idea?" Sam asked gently.

   I looked at him stubbornly.  "Do you want to leave?"

   "No," he said.  He tucked a lock of hair more firmly behind my ear.  "I
don`t want to cause trouble, either."

   "You won`t be causing trouble," I insisted.  "Everything will be fine.

   "What should we tell them?" Sam asked.

   "About you?  Or about us?"

   "Both," he chuckled.

   I shrugged slightly.  "I don't really know.  The truth, I think. 
Neither of us have done anything wrong."

   Edd came running into the room and flung himself into my arms.

   "Jenna!  Theo's callin' me a baby again!"

   I smiled and hugged Edd, glancing at Sam.  Sam grinned at me and
shrugged.

   "He's just mad because you're already taller than he was at your age," I
told him.

   Edd looked up at me excitedly.  "Really?"

   "Really," I assured him.

   The twins came running in and stopped short as they spotted Sam.

   "Who's he?" Ashley asked.

   Edd glanced over at Sam as if noticing him for the first time.

   I stood up and took Sam's hand.  "This is my boyfriend, Sam," I
proclaimed.  "This is Edd, my little brother, and these are my sisters. 
Ashley is on the left, Jessica is on the right."

   Sam asked the requisite question: "How can you tell?"

   "Ashley scowls more and has a wrinkle on her forehead," I grinned.

   "Hey!" Ashley snapped.  "That's not funny!  I can`t have wrinkles yet!"

   "Boyfriend?  You have a boyfriend?" Edd asked confusedly.

   "Yeah!  Why didn't you tell us?" Jessica demanded.

   "It's kinda a new thing," I said with a smile.

   "He's cute," Ashley blurted, then turned a bright pink and stepped
behind her twin.

   "I know," I giggled.

   "You're makin' me turn red," Sam protested with a grin.

   "Why do you need a boyfriend?" Edd asked slowly.  He looked up at Sam as
if trying to decide whether or not he was trouble.

   I smiled and leaned down to ruffle Edd's hair.  "Because he makes me
happy, Sweetie.  You want me to be happy right?"

   Edd looked at Sam for a moment longer and then nodded.

   "Maybe I can take you guys to the movies or something sometime soon.  My
treat," Sam offered.

   I giggled.  He'd just won all three of them over with that.

   "What did mom and Dad say?" Jessica asked.

   I sighed and shook my head.  "They, um...don't know yet." I cut a stern
look at all of them.  "And none of you are going to tell mom or Dad until
we talk to them, either.  Understood?

   "Yes," the three children muttered sullenly.

   "I won't tell either," Tony said as he wandered into the kitchen.  He
walked to fridge and got a Coke out.  I felt like slamming my head into the
wall.

   "Tony," I said warningly.

   "What?  I said I wouldn't tell," Tony said defensively.

   "Be sure you don't.  Or I won't drive you anywhere ever again."

   "You're paranoid, Jenna," said Tony.

   "I'm Sam," Sam spoke up.  He extended a hand and Tony half-heartedly
shook it.

   "That's my other brother.  The good one," I explained.

   "Hey!  I'm good too!" Edd complained.

   "I know Edd, I know." I smiled.

   "Is there a not good one?" Sam asked.

   "Ugh.  Theo.  He's not bad, he's just...difficult.  And smug."

   "And ugly," Tony added.

   "Tony," I warned.

   "And mean!" Ashley proclaimed.

   "And his voice is whiny!" Jessica seconded.

   I rolled my eyes.  I grabbed Sam's hand and half-dragged him out of the
kitchen.

   Dad and Karla were in the living room talking.  Karla was sitting on the
couch and Dad was standing beside her.  Dad's arms were crossed and he
looked irritated.  Karla noticed me and nodded in my direction.

   Dad strode across the room and hugged me tightly, crushing me to him.  I
was surprised; he hadn't really hugged me like this in a long time.  When
he pulled back I could tell by his face he was struggling to keep himself
from getting emotional.  I was glad for his effort at calmness.

   "Are you okay?" He asked me.

   "I think so.  If not, I will be," I replied honestly.

   "What can we do to help you?  Dad asked.

   I shrugged.  "I don't know yet."

   "Do you need to see someone?" he asked.

   "Maybe," I said.  "It's just too soon for me to tell.  I feel okay, but
I don't know if that's going to last.  Everyone insists it won't."

   "They're probably right," Dad pointed out.

   "I know," I admitted.

   "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

   I pulled back fully out of his hug.  He let me go.  "Not really.  I'd
really rather try not to remember it."

   "You know that's not healthy," Karla spoke up.

   "I know," I said.  "I know I need to deal with it.  I know I need to
face it and come to terms with what happened.  But it feels like that's all
I've been doing all day; thinking about it and dealing with it.  I don't
want this to be all I do from now on.  That's not healthy, either."

   Karla nodded and reached over to pat my hand.  "We understand, Jenna. 
As long as you remember you can't put it completely away forever. 
Eventually you need to talk about it, whether it be with me and your Dad,
or with a professional, or with a friend."

   I nodded and smiled tiredly.  It seemed suddenly like I had just been
through the longest day of my life.  I was tired, and I couldn't decide if
I was happy or sad.  I think I was both.  "I know, Karla.  I'll talk about
it soon, I promise."

   "If you need anything from us, anything at all, you know you've got it,"
my Dad said.

   I nodded and hugged my Dad before stepping back.  I was really glad he
was being reasonable about this.  That was what I needed most just then.

   Attention turned from me to Sam.  When my Dad's eyes finally went to
him, Sam stepped forward and extended a hand.

   "Hello Mr.  Mathews, I'm Sam Peterson."

   Dad shook his hand.  "Nice to meet you.  Come here, sit down."

   Sam and I sat down on the loveseat, facing my parents.

   "It's nice to meet you at last, Sam," Karla smiled.  "Jenna's told me a
lot about you this week."

   "Good things I hope," Sam smiled.

   "Yes, very good things," Karla replied.  "Anyway.  We're...still not
exactly clear on what's going on.  Jenna called and said you were having
some kind of problems at home?"

   Sam nodded and took a deep breath.  I took his hand and gave it a
supporting squeeze.  Dad eyed our hands for a minute, but didn't say
anything.

   Sam explained the situation.  He told them how his mom was acting and
how badly things had gotten.  He didn't go too in detail over how long
things had been going on, but told them fully of how much of a falling out
it had been.

   "So why did you come here?" Dad asked when Sam had finished.

   Sam shrugged and looked away a bit.  "I don't really know, sir.  I
wasn't really thinking about where I was going when I left.  I just started
walking.  I guess I came here because...Jenna is one of my only
friends...and all my other friends live across town.  I don't have any
family in the area or anywhere else to go.  I didn't mean to come here to
try to ask to stay or anything like that.  I came because I needed to see
someone who would understand, I guess."

   "He didn't come to stay, but I want him to," I stated.  Sam fidgeted a
bit.

   Dad looked over at Karla and shook his head slightly.  "Jenna, I don't
know...I'm not sure that's such a good idea."

   "We've got a huge couch.  And if we cleaned it up, he could stay in the
spare room in the attic.  He's got nowhere else to go, Dad.  Do you really
want him to have to go back into that stuff?  Or even worse, do you want
him to be on the streets?"

   Dad shook his head and leaned forward.  "Of course I don't, Jenna.  You
know I'm not that kind of person.  But we don't really know a whole lot
about this boy.  We've just met him.  And we've got kids here we have to be
concerned about.  No offense, Sam."

   "None taken," Sam replied sincerely.

   "The kids already like him," I protested.

   "That's not the point," Dad sighed.

   "Dad, I want Sam to stay here.  He needs a place to stay.  He won't
cause trouble, and I trust him, a lot.  And anyway, he's my boyfriend."

   Sam's hand tightened around mine and he looked a bit unsure of how he
should be acting now that I had thrown that out there.  I had put him on
the spot, I realized.  I felt bad, but I knew the best way to talk to my
Dad was to be as blunt and as upfront and honest as possible.

   Dad eyed Sam and I with thinly disguised doubt.  He turned to Karla
questioningly.

   "Did you know about this?" he asked.

   Karla grinned at me and winked.  "No, but I figured it was going to
happen eventually.  Your daughter has been eyeing this young man for the
awhile.  Why do you think she insisted in staying in the Program in the
first place?  Sam is her partner."

   Sam turned red.  I sighed and put my head in my hand.  "Thanks, Karla,"
I muttered embarrassedly.

   "When did this...relationship come about?" Dad asked.

   "Officially?  Today," I replied.

   Dad's brows furrowed and he rubbed at the bridge of his nose for a
moment.  "This just doesn't seem like a good idea."

   He turned his attention to Sam.  "I sympathize with your situation, Sam,
I really do.  And you seem like a good young man.  But my daughter has been
through a lot today.  And I don't know what kind of intentions you have
toward my daughter.  I don't know if I can trust you."

   "I understand Mr.  Mathews," Sam replied.  He stood up.  "I'll get
going. I don't want to cause more of a disturbance than I already have."

   I reached up and pulled Sam's arm as I stood up.  "Sit down, Sam. 
Karla, Dad, can I talk to you privately?"

   Dad and Karla exchanged glances before nodding slowly and standing up. I
glanced at Sam and squeezed his arm.

   "Please don't leave.  Just wait for us to get back," I pleaded in a
whisper.  Sam hesitated a moment, then nodded.

   Karla, Dad and I stepped into the kitchen and shooed Tony out.  I leaned
against the counter and hugged myself, looking down.

   "Please don't make him leave.  He doesn't have anywhere else to go. 
And...I need him here."

   Dad gave me a skeptical look.  "What do you mean you `need' him here?"

   I looked into my fathers face.  "I mean exactly what I said.  I need him
here.  He's helping me deal with all the stuff I'm feeling.  He helps me
feel like I'll be okay.  He helps me feel safe."

   "You are safe," Dad protested.  "No one's gonna hurt you, Jenna.  You're
home, and you're going to be okay."

   "I know that," I said.  "But Sam makes me feel it.  My brain has been
telling me I'm going to be okay since the situation ended, but I haven't
felt like I was going to be okay, really okay, until Sam showed up."

   "I'm glad you feel that way Jenna, and it's good that someone can help
comfort you and make you feel secure," Dad replied slowly.  "But that
doesn't mean he's trustworthy.  How can I trust him?  How can I know he
won't steal half out stuff and run off?  How do I know he won't hurt you,
one way or another?"

   "Because he won't," I replied firmly.  "I know he won't.  And because
he's already shown me he's the most trustworthy person I know.  He's the
one who saved me, Dad.  He found me...with those three guys trying to..." I
swallowed and looked away for a moment before looking back into my fathers
eyes.

   "He didn't even hesitate.  He came right up to us and told them to get
the hell off me.  And then he fought with all three of those jocks instead
of running away when they turned on him.  He could have run and left me
there.  He had a lot of chances.  But he wouldn't leave me.  And when he
laid them out, he stayed with me and protected me until help came."

   My Dad hesitated.  He looked at me and some of the uneasiness left his
stance.  "Really?"

   "Really," I said.  "And he's had plenty of chances to take advantage of
me or something like that.  He's my partner in the Program.  We share a lot
of classes too.  We're around each other most of the day, and the only
thing he has ever been is nice to me.  He's always warm, kind, and
considerate."

   Dad nodded slowly and let out a sigh.  "I don't want you getting too
close.  There's a lot of chance for that if you two are under the same
roof."

   "Dad," I groaned.  "I'm in the Program.  He's in the Program.  We could
have had sex in first period on Monday if we'd wanted."

   Dad blanched.  "Don`t tell me you did that?"

   "No, but I won't say I won't, and if I did, that's my business," I said
firmly.  Dad opened his mouth to protest, but shut it when Karla stepped
behind me and put her hands on my shoulder.  I couldn't see her face, but
my Dad squirmed and nodded.  I really needed to figure out how she kept him
so under thumb when no one else could ever talk him into anything.

   "You two really need to wait before you get serious.  At least six
months."

   I gave my father a sour look.  "That's a really old fashioned notion,
Dad.  And anyway, you've got a lot of nerve even suggesting that."

   Dad blinked and looked at me like I had two heads.  "What?"

   "You heard me," I replied.  "I can do math, Dad.  I know when you and
Karla started dating.  And when Theo was born...if you do the math, you two
didn't wait six months.  You didn't even wait one month."

   "That has nothing to do with this," Dad muttered uncomfortably.

   "Yes it does," I insisted.  "You and Karla got really serious really
fast.  You two are happy, right?"

   "Yeah," Dad admitted hesitantly.

   "And you've got a healthy, stable marriage, right?"

   "You know we do," Karla said.

   "That's my point," I nodded.  "If you two can have a healthy, stable,
happy relationship even though you rushed into it and started getting
serious real fast, why couldn't Sam and I?"

   "We were lucky," Dad protested.  "And we worked at it a lot.  And we
just...I dunno...fit."

   "So do Sam and I," I said firmly.  "I know we do.  I know because I'm
insanely picky.  I figured I would never find the right guy for me because
what I want is so specific and insane.  No guy has ever measured up until I
met Sam.  He fits me perfectly."

   "How can you know that?" Dad asked.  "How can you be sure?  You've know
him for what, a couple of days?"

   "How did you know?" I asked pointedly.

   Dad tried to sputter out a reply a few times before throwing his hands
up in frustration.  He turned to face Karla with a doubtful look.  "What do
you think?"

   Karla squeezed my shoulders reassuringly.  "I think we should do
whatever is best for Jenna."

   "That's helpful," Dad muttered.

   "I think Jenna knows what is best for her right now.  You've always said
she was smarter than both of us," Karla added.

   "That's not-"

   "I trust him," Karla interrupted quickly.  "I think if he had insincere
intentions, he would have acted on them a lot earlier than now.  He could
have even used the Program as a cover if he wanted to.  And he fought off
three boys to save our daughter.  If that doesn't speak well of his
character, I don't know what does."

   Dad sighed and started pacing.  After several moments he came to a stop
and looked at me.

   "I know your mind's made up about seeing this boy, and I know once your
mind is made up I can't do a thing to change it."

   "That's about right, yeah," I admitted.

   "I'm also sure you're probably going to engage in some sexual
activities, either with him or with someone else soon, no matter how I may
not like it," he added with a scowl.

   "Dad, I've already engaged in sexual activities.  I am in the Program,"
I told him.  I kept myself from wincing at the dark look that spread over
his face.  That wasn't the right thing to say just then, but again, the
best approach to take with my Dad was the blunt and honest one.  I didn't
want him to think I had anything to hide; if he did, that would be what
made him clam up and say no.

   Still, my Dad was not happy.  He opened his mouth, probably to start
yelling.

   "John," Karla said stonily.  I glanced back at her and saw the hard set
of her face.  I'd never seen her look so stern, ever.  "We talked about
this.  We had an agreement."

   I couldn't decide which I felt more, relieved at Karla's intervention
and diffusing of the situation, or curiosity over what this `agreement'
was.

   Dad scowled at Karla for several moments before looking hastily away. 
"Just don't get Pregnant," he muttered unhappily.

   "I'm smarter than that, Dad.  I may want to explore and try new things,
but I'm still responsible.  You know that."

   Dad nodded and let out a breath.  He shot an unhappy glance at Karla but
it seemed like the fight had gone out of him.  "Okay, fine.  Sam can stay.
If only so I can keep and eye on him and make sure he's right for you."

   I leapt forward and hugged my Dad tightly.  "Thank you, Daddy," I
whispered.  I pulled back and smiled at him.  "This will help me.  I know
it will."

   "I hope so," he said glumly.  "Let's go see if the boy is still waiting
around for us."

   Karla smiled as she patted my shoulder and shot me a wink.  She laced
her arm with Dad's and leaned her head against his shoulder as they walked
out of the kitchen.  She whispered something to him, but I couldn't tell
what.  I was too worried to care what their exchange was all about.

   We stepped into the living room and Sam wasn't there.  I immediately
began to panic as my heart hammered wildly in my chest.  I glanced at Karla
and Dad.  Dad shrugged helplessly.

   I rushed to the front door and threw it open to find Sam sitting on the
front step.

   "Sam!  Why didn't you stay in the living room?" I demanded.

   He stood up and smiled sheepishly at me as he brushed off the seat of
his pants.  "I didn't want to be hanging out in your living room if your
parents didn't want me there."

   "Come inside," I insisted.  "The mosquitoes are going to eat you alive."

   "I think they're already half way there," he muttered as he walked into
the house.

   I shut the door behind him and hurried him into the living room.  He
smiled awkwardly at Karla and my Dad.

   "Okay, Sam, come have a seat," Dad spoke up.

   All of us sat down.  Dad leaned forward and folded his hands in front of
him.  "We've talked about it, and we've agreed that you don't need to be
going back into your home environment until something changes.  We also
don't want you to be out on the street; neither Karla nor myself would feel
right about that.  So you can stay until something else is figured out in
your home situation."

   Sam nodded slowly and gave my father a serious look.  "Thank you Mr. 
Mathews.  I have some money saved up at home.  Tomorrow I can go get it so
that I can pay for any kind of food I eat or anything like that."

   Dad held up a hand.  "We'll worry about that if you're here long enough
for it to become an issue.  For now, don't think about it.  We have a guest
room of sorts up in the attic, but right now we've got a bunch of stuff in
there being stored away.  We'll clear it away tomorrow evening for you. 
For tonight, you can sleep on the couch."

   "I don't mind sleeping on the couch," Sam said.  "I can stay on the
couch for as long as I'm here, don't worry about the guest room."

   Dad shook his head and smiled.  "Sam, it's fine.  It'll just be a matter
of moving a few things.  Don't worry about it."

   Sam nodded after a moment and glanced at me.  "Thanks.  I just don't
want to put any of you out of your way."

   "We don't know how long you're going to be here, Sam," Karla spoke up
with a smile.  "But as long as you're here, and you follow the rules and
treat us with the same respect as we treat you, you're family.  That's our
policy."

   "I appreciate it," Sam said softly.  I glanced over at him.  He
swallowed heavily.  I wasn't sure how he was handling this; from the look
on his face, he wasn't used to this kind of consideration.

   "Now that we have that established, we need to discuss your intentions
toward my daughter," Dad said.

   Sam fidgeted slightly but looked my father in the eye.  "I don't know
what to say exactly, sir.  I know I'm serious about your daughter.  I know
that she's very, very important to me, and I want to be a big part of her
life.  I know I would never, ever hurt her.  I also know I'm going to
protect her from anyone else hurting her.  Beyond that..." Sam shrugged and
kept his eye contact with my father.  He was being honest and open, which
was the best thing he could be.  "It's too soon to tell, I think.  We'll
have to wait and see.  In the meantime, I'm going to try to make her happy
and take care of her."

   Dad stared at Sam for several moments before nodding and smiling softly.
"Good enough for me," he said.

   Karla smiled and glanced at my father.  "Should we set some ground
rules?"

   Dad glanced at the clock and I followed his eyes.  It was past ten.  I
hadn't expected it to be so late.  I was suddenly aware of my stomach
growling hungrily.

   "It's getting pretty late," Dad commented.  "I have to be back in
testing really early tomorrow.  I should get to bed by now really."

   Karla nodded and turned her attention to us.  "These two need to get
their rest too.  Another interesting day tomorrow."

   "Interesting," my Dad muttered.

   He turned his gaze to Sam.  "We'll cover the house rules tomorrow. 
They're simple enough.  For now...I expect you to treat us all with respect
and listen to what Karla and I say.  We try to be reasonable and even
handed with our kids, and we'll extend you the same courtesy, but what we
say goes."

   "Of course," Sam agreed.  "I completely respect that."

   "Good," Dad smiled.  "Also, uh...in regard to you and Jenna...you two
try to keep things...tasteful.  I won't tell you two how to act when you're
alone, but we don't want to give the kids any ideas.  They're an
impressionable bunch."

   "Dad!" I darkened with embarrassment.

   "Understood," Sam smiled.

   "Who's impressionable?" Tony asked as he poked his head into the living
room.

   "You," Karla giggled, then suddenly looked surprised.  "The house has
been way, way too quiet.  Where are your brothers and sisters, Tony?"

   "Sitting in the kitchen grumbling and trying to get out.  I corralled
them in there as soon as you guys emptied it," Tony smirked.

   "Why are they so quiet?" I asked.

   "Cause you guys were talking and I made them be," Tony replied.

   I loved Tony.  Have I mentioned Tony was the good one?  "I'll take you
to the mall and buy you some new pants and whatever CD you want," I smiled
at him.

   "Cool," Tony grinned.  "You guys done?"

   "Yeah.  Bring everyone in here," Dad instructed.

   The kids filed into the room.  The twins glanced curiously between Sam
and I before both scrambled onto the couch between Dad and Karla.  Theo was
muttering darkly under his breath, probably at being kept in the kitchen
and made to be silent.  Or at having his bigger little brother enforcing
the silence on him.  Edd ran up to Karla and whined that Theo had been
picking on him.

   "Okay kids," Dad spoke up.  He nodded in Sam's direction.  "You've met
Sam, right?"

   Edd and the twins nodded.  Theo looked annoyed and aloof.  Tony smirked.

   "Sam is going to be staying with us for a little while.  We're not
really sure how long yet."

   "Why?" Edd asked immediately.

   "Because," Dad started as he glanced at Sam.  "Sam is having...some
problems at home.  He needs to get away from his house for a little while
to think, and your mother and I have decided to let him stay here while he
thinks."

   "Oh," Edd muttered.

   "Does this mean if I get a boyfriend he can come live with us too?"
Jessica asked.  Ashley elbowed her in the ribs.

   "First, Sam isn't living with us, he's just staying here for a little
while," Karla replied firmly.  "And second...no."

   "That's not fair," Jessica protested.  She fell silent after a moment at
the look her Mom gave her.

   "Anyway," Dad continued.  "Tomorrow we'll clear out the guest room and
he can stay up there.  I expect you to listen to him just like you would
Jenna."

   Sam looked a bit startled at that notion, but nodded at the glance Karla
gave him.

   "How come we gotta listen to him," Theo protested with a deep scowl.

   "Because he's older.  And because I said so," Dad replied firmly.  "And
you boys try not to bother him too much with your wrestling and
roughhousing."

   Sam smiled.  "As long as I get to join in, I don't mind too much."

   Dad gave Sam an amused look.  "Just make sure they don't break
anything."

   "Do we need to discuss anything else?" Karla asked.

   "I don't think so," Dad said.  "How about you two?"

   I glanced at Sam.  When he shook his head, I said, "Not us."

   "Okay then," Karla sighed.  "Family meeting over.  If something else
comes up we'll call another one." She turned her sights on the twins and
Edd.  "Now you three are up way too late.  You should've been in bed almost
an hour ago!  And Tony and Theo, you need to get going to bed soon too."

   "What about her?" Theo spoke up, jabbing a thumb in my direction.  "How
come she doesn't got a bedtime?"

   "Because she goes to bed when she's supposed to anyway.  And I don't
have to fight to get her out of bed in time to make it to the bus," Karla
explained plainly.

   "Don't argue with your mother," Dad warned.

   Theo grumbled darkly and wandered off.

   "I wanna stay up and talk with Sam!" Edd protested.

   "You'll have plenty of time to talk to him tomorrow," Karla reminded
him. "For now, it's time for bed!"

   "Can we have pancakes for breakfast tomorrow?" Ashley asked.

   Karla smiled.  "We'll see.  You'll have to ask Jenna."

   Ashley turned a pouty look my way.  "Jenna, can you make pancakes
tomorrow?  Please?"

   "We'll see.  Maybe if you run off to bed without giving mom any
trouble," I winked.

   Sam looked at me with raised brows.  "You can make pancakes?"

   "Good pancakes!" Jessica interrupted.

   "Really good pancakes!" Edd added.

   I laughed and smiled coyly at Sam.  "If you're good you'll get some
too."

   "I'm always good," Sam smirked.

   "Being good includes doing dishes," I giggled.

   "I'm cool with that," he smiled.

   "Okay kids, time for bed!" Karla said as she stood up.  She made shooing
motions toward them.  "Go!  Go!"

   The twins glanced at Sam and I.  They whispered something between each
other, burst into giggles, and ran out of the living room.  With the
promise of pancakes riding on his good behavior, Edd allowed Karla to usher
him out of the room with minimal protest.

   "Looking forward to tomorrow?" Tony asked me.

   "Uh...why?" I asked.

   "Well, there's that whole embracing your nudist lifestyle thing," Tony
smirked.

   I rolled my eyes and gave him a blank look.  "Keep teasing, Tony.  I'll
remember to pay you back when you get into high school and Karla `forgets'
to sign you out."

   Tony chuckled and continued smirking.  "I'm gonna take you up on that
offer for a CD and all, you know."

   "I know.  I meant it."

   Tony nodded and glanced at Sam.  "You got a car?"

   "Yeah.  It's broke down in my driveway, though.  Piece of...junk," Sam
finished hastily, glancing at my Dad.

   "I could try to fix it for you," Dad offered.

   Sam nodded.  "Thanks.  Maybe.  I don't know if it's a good idea though.
If my mom noticed you in the driveway she'd probably call the cops.  If she
noticed."

   "Harsh," Tony muttered.  He looked up and nodded.  "Well, I'm going to
my room."

   "And to bed," Dad hinted.

   "Yeah.  Bed.  Soon." Tony glanced at Sam as he started to turn to leave.
"Uh, nice meeting you Sam."

   "Same here Tony," Sam replied with a smile.

   Tony left the living room and started up the stairs.

   "Why does Tony seem like he's...I dunno...our age?" Sam asked after Tony
left.

   "Because he's tall?" I suggested helpfully.

   "Nah, it's somethin' a bit more than that," Sam chuckled.

   "Tony's always been pretty mature for his age," Dad offered.

   "Plus he's cynical.  Most kids don't have the cynical thing down as well
as he does," I added.

   Dad stood and stretched.  "I've gotta get to bed.  I really do have to
be up early tomorrow." He glanced at me and nodded.  "Don't stay up too
late Jenna."

   He stepped forward and held a hand out to Sam, who hastily stood up and
took it.

   "Thank you, Sam.  For what you did for my little girl," he said.  His
voice was heavy with gratitude.  "Not a lot of people would have done
that."

   "It was nothing," Sam replied.  "It was what had to be done."

   Dad nodded and stepped up to me to hug me tightly.

   "Thanks Dad," I murmured to him.  He nodded and told us goodnight, then
went to his room.  I knew how much trust it took for him to leave Sam and I
in the room like that.  I was glad he trusted me.  I was glad he trusted
Sam.

   Karla poked her head back into the living room right as Dad walked out.
"Jenna, I got you food from the restaurant.  I left it on the counter. 
Make sure you eat it or put it away." She nodded to Sam and smile.  "Don't
stay up too late.  Goodnight you two."

   I warmed up the food Karla had gotten me; quite possibly the biggest
to-go box full of chicken parmesan I had ever seen.  I took it out to the
living room and insisted Sam share it with me, which he did reluctantly. 
It was too big for me anyway, and he ended up eating most of it.

   After I threw out the empty box we sat on the couch and talked softly
while the house started settling down around us.  I told him what my
parents and I had talked about.  He told me a bit more about what had
happened between him and his mother.  I snuggled into him, his arm around
me and my head nuzzled to his shoulder as we talked.  I loved the warmth of
him.  Even like this, he was so warm it was intoxicating.

   "I told everyone at school what happened," Sam spoke up.  He looked a
bit uncertain, as if not sure how I would react.

   "What do you mean, `everyone'?"

   "Our friends," he replied.  "Yours and mine.  Well, they're really ours
now."

   "Oh," I said softly.

   Memories filtered around in the back of my mind, threatening to ruin my
happiness.  I pushed them firmly away.  I wouldn't let them ruin this
night. Not this night.  This night was a happy one.  Maybe the happiest one
I'd ever had.  I had finally found someone special.  But my excitement and
joy were dampened just a bit nonetheless.

   "What did they say?"

   Sam smiled down at me and kissed my forehead tenderly.  I cuddled closer
into him.  "They're worried, of course.  They aren't sure what to do, but
they're determined to do anything and everything to help you and support
you."

   "They're good friends," I said.

   "Are you sure you're going to be all right tomorrow?" Sam asked me.

   "I think so.  We'll find out," I replied.

   "If you don't think you can handle the Program, you should get signed
out," Sam said.  "Don't stay in it just for me.  I don't want you to go
through something you aren't ready for just for my sake."

   "You're a sweetie," I smiled softly at him.

   "I'm serious," he said with concern plain on his face.

   "I know," I said.  "But I know I want to keep doing this too.  Yes, I
want to keep doing it for you and because I want to be there for you and
share this with you, but also for myself.  The Program has opened me up a
lot.  A lot.  I feel like a totally different person than I was before
Monday.  And I think my change is definitely for the better.  I'm working
through a lot of the sexual frustration and repression I've put myself
through for years.

   "And I'm opening up," I continued.  "I'm making new friends.  I'm
learning not to be so shy.  And now I've got you.  None of this would have
happened if the Program hadn't gotten me to come out of my shell some.  I
think I'd like to see it through and find out what else I find out about
myself."

   Sam nodded and squeezed me tightly.  His hug almost took my breath away,
he was so strong.  I could feel his muscles ripple and bulge against me,
even through our clothes.  I liked it when he squeezed me like that.

   I liked it too much for that particular moment, in fact.

   I disentangled myself from his arms and smiled into his eyes.  "I'm
getting needy again," I murmured softly, gazing into his eyes.  "So I
should probably go upstairs before I get us both in trouble."

   "I wouldn't mind, really," Sam grinned.

   I pushed his shoulder and giggled.  "You're bad.  Hang on a sec and I'll
get you some blankets and stuff."

   When I came back to the living room I almost tripped over the huge
armful of blankets and pillows I had brought him.  Sam hastily took most of
them from me and put them down on the couch.

   "It's not the comfiest thing in the world, but it should be better than
most sofas," I smiled at him.

   "It'll be fine.  I really appreciate what your family is doing for me,"
Sam replied.

   He took me into his arms and held me close, his arms around my waist and
mine wrapped about his neck.  We kissed, a soft, deep kiss that was full of
feeling and meaning and little sex.  I pulled back, breathless, and smiled
at him.

   "Good night, Sam," I whispered.

   "Night babe," he replied.  I smiled.  Babe.  I liked that.  A few girls
I had known found it offensive, but I thought it was a nice sentiment
coming from him.

   I glanced back at him as I started up the steps.  He must have sensed my
eyes on him.  He stopped arranging his blankets on the couch and looked up
at me.  He smiled.  For a moment, I lost myself all over again in his
dreamy gray eyes just as I had the first time I saw him...

   When I opened my door Lilly bolted out and went bounding down the stairs
before I could reach down and pet her to apologize for accidentally locking
her in my room.  I shut my door behind me and stripped down to my underwear
before crawling into bed.

   I lay there for a little while, and once again my feelings and thoughts
conflicted and raged, as different as night and day.  Panic rose in me for
an instant, a feeling of being pinned roughly down and restrained with
cruel eyes leering at me, then it was gone and I was left shaking for
several minutes before I could get a grip on myself.  I thought about Sam,
about how wonderful he was.  He was everything I had ever wanted in a guy,
and more.  I had not a single doubt that I had found that perfect person
for me.

   My thoughts wandered again and I wondered what kind of consequences the
assault would have on me.  What kind of consequences would it have on Sam?
On our relationship?  I shivered and vowed I wouldn't let it ruin this
wonderful thing I had with Sam, but under my hasty assurance, I wasn't so
certain.

   My thoughts came back to Sam and mercifully lingered on him.  I tired
quickly.  I was suddenly deeply, profoundly exhausted; today had been
possibly the most eventful day of my life, and now my thoughts were muddled
and fuzzy as sleep crept up on me as subtly as a lumbering giant.

   Through the haze of my drowsiness, I could suddenly feel my body more
clearly.  I was stretched.  I was stretched a lot.  I had never felt so
open in my life.  I had never even dreamed I could feel so different. 
Seeing Sam's cock these past days and actually feeling the effects it had
on me were wildly different.  I felt empty.  I began to miss him and wish
he had been able to come to bed with me.

   I half contemplated going out to the living room and sleeping cuddled up
on top of him on the little couch, but it was a sleepy and distracted
thought at best, and I was asleep before I had even had time to fully
consider it.

   End Chapter 6

   Wednesday is finally done.  To all those who've been so patiently
waiting for this next installment, I apologize for the delay and sincerely
thank you for your patience.  The next chapter will hopefully be up much
quicker, as I don't think it'll be quite as long as this one.  As always,
all questions, comments, and other feedback should be sent to
Crouching_Buddha2000@yahoo.com