Celestial Reviews 335 Aug 7, 1999
Note: {mF, hum, math, pop} A teacher was helping her student with a math
problem. She recited the following story : "There are three birds sitting on a
wire. A hunter shoots one of the birds. How many birds are left on the wire?"
The boy pauses. "None," he replies thoughtfully.
"No, no, no. Let's try again," the teacher says patiently. She holds up three
fingers. "There are three birds sitting on a wire. A hunter shoots one," she
puts down one finger, "how many birds are left on the wire?"
"None," the boy says with authority. The teacher sighs. "Tell me how you came
up with that."
"It's simple," says the boy, "after the hunter shot one bird, he scared the
other two away."
"Well," she says, "it's not technically correct, but I like the way you think."
"Okay," chimes the boy, "now let me ask you a question. There are three women
sitting on a bench eating popsicles. One woman is licking the popsicle, one
woman is biting the popsicle, and one is sucking the popsicle. Which one is
married?" he asks innocently.
The teacher looks at the boy's angelic face and writhes in agony, turning three
shades of red.
"C'mon," the boy says impatiently, "one is licking the popsicle, one is biting,
and one is sucking. Which one is married?"
"Well," she gulped and in a barely audible whisper replied," the one who's
sucking?"
"No," he says with surprise, "the one with the wedding ring on. But I like the
way you think."
Second note: {Geron, grammar) While acquainting himself with a new elderly
patient, the doctor asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of
complete confusion she answered, "Why not for about twenty years - when my
husband was alive."
Third note: {Med, hosp} A nurse caring for a woman from Kentucky asked, "So
how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky
Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. The nurse
asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
One more note: A chicken and an egg are lying in bed together. The chicken is
smoking a cigarette and seems to be glowing and flushed. The egg, on the other
hand, seems to be muttering something. Upon listening closer, the egg can be
heard to be repeating the same phrase over and over: "Well, I guess that
answers that question."
=====================
Celestial Reviews Index:
=====================
"A Visit To Grandmother's House" by Ann Douglas (mostly masturbation) 8, 7, 7
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=506992762
"Anne's Punishment" by Tiramisu (bondage & sex slavery) 10, 8, 5
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=506095095
"Moving Experience" by Uther Pendragon (romance) 10, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=506423435
"The Tie That Binds Us" by Vickie Morgan (romance) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=506117412
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=506117430
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=506117455
"Father's Day" by Tiramisu (mild romantic bondage) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505813005
"Karen" by E.Z. Riter (sex slavery) 10, 8, 8
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=509064670
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=509064662
"Twister " by Lunkwill and Fook (exhibitionism) 10, 8, 8
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=508309576
"Reciprocity" by Jacques LeBlanc (action romance) 19, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=502120717
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=502122891
"Picture This" by Mary Jorsay Gandmar (office romance) 10, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=502302693
=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================
"Age of Consent" by Tigger (bdsm & the law). BillyG: 10, 8, 8
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505549517
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505552282
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505552286
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505552290
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505552295
"Waking Up Is Hard to Do" by Lunkwill and Fook (sexual fantasy). Myers: NR
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505715896
"GEMINI: The Twins" by Faux Nomme (incest). Nick: 10, 10, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=506688218
=====================
Reposted Reviews:
=====================
* "Banana Split" by DG (island passion) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=345463176
* "I.O.U." by Vickie Morgan (romance) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=446657517
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=446657521
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=446657525
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=446657528
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=446657532
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=446657536
* "Celestial Musings" by Vicky Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com)
{Celeste becomes a Muse} 10. 9.5, 9.5
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=443222301
* "I.O.U." by Vickie Morgan (romance) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?446657517
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?446657521
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?446657525
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?446657528
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?446657532
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?446657536
* "Amazon Adventure" by Vicky Morgan {guy seduces sexy Amazon
warrior } 9, 7, 7
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=438651338
* "Distractions" by Vickie Morgan (exhibitionism) 9, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=386878337
* "Back To Reality" by Vickie Morgan (romance) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=508968131
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=508968172
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=508970105
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=508971597
* "Night Swimming" by Vickie Morgan (sex at sea) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=378073650
* "Betrayed by a Kiss" by Vickie Morgan (gradual unfolding).
BillyG: 9.5, 9.5, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=460665864
* "Sorry" by Vickie Morgan
(music video vignette) Rosemerry 6, N/A, 5
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=446657544
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year99/19383.txt
=====================
Here are the Reviews:
=====================
"A Visit To Grandmother's House" by Ann Douglas (ann_douglas@hotmail.com) 8, 7,
7
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=506992762
Sally Liebowitz is a 19-year-old college student who is required by her parents
to check in once a week with her grandmother, who lives in the college city.
One day she enters quietly and finds granny making it with a dildo. Later she
stumbles across her grandmother's erotic photo album. She masturbates, and
granny catches her. They will probably have more good times together.
This is a repost of Early Ann Douglas. The author has published many better
stories better because they have done a better job of character and plot
development. Nevertheless, this is a good story, and it will appeal especially
to Ann's fans.
Ratings for "A Visit to Grandmother's House"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Anne's Punishment" by Tiramisu (tiramixu@yahoo.com)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=506095095
Blindfolded and bound, Anne has her orgasm shortly after her partner does. This
is bad, because she is not supposed to cum until her Master gives her
permission. It is a very intense orgasm, but she knows she must be punished.
She has given herself to him, and she will submit to whatever he wants. Jack
takes her to a pet shop, where she drinks wine from a dog dish and the Mistress
at the pet shop helps Jack punish and train Anne.
I keep saying I'm not a bondage fan, and yet people keep asking me to review
their bondage and sex slavery stories. Some bondage seems sexy to me; the
bondage in this story did not. I simply had trouble figuring out how I could
possibly enjoy having someone do to me the things that Jack and his accomplice
do to Anne in this story.
I suppose the story is well written. I think I got a clear picture of the
events the author was trying to describe, and I suspect for someone else who
buys into the "pleasures of pain" this story might be a lot more enjoyable. But
I think a really good bondage story should make a little more sense even to an
outsider like me.
Ratings for "Anne's Punishment"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Moving Experience" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=506423435
Mat Twassel recently sponsored a Sexy Tie Story Contest. This was one of the
entries. Although I am not going to try to rate all the stories, I'd like to
commend both Mat and the authors for adding some creative stories to the
newsgroup.
In the present story Danielle is moving in with Keith. Somewhere in the closet
space assigned to her she finds a couple of ugly ties. Later that night she
qualifies for the Sexy Tie Story Contest by doing a striptease with a
cravat-covers-pussy theme.
It's a very good story but hopeless to summarize in any further detail. One
thing worth mentioning is that I think the author goes into more specific
details of the actual sexual activity in this story than has been his custom in
his other stories.
Ratings for "Moving Experience"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"The Tie That Binds Us" by Vickie Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=506117412
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=506117430
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=506117455
Jason and Louise are going to get married. The story is told from the viewpoint
of the tie that Jason has purchased for the wedding apparently one of the few
pink silk ties available for sale in Yorkshire in those days.
From that point the tie takes us on a quick tour through the lives of this
couple and their children. There's even a surprise ending.
When I first saw this story's title in the listings, I assumed it was a bondage
story. Well, it could have been, but it wasn't. There's a little bondage, but
very light and very nice. This is a truly romantic and sexy story.
Ratings for "The Tie That Binds Us"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Father's Day" by Tiramisu (tiramixu@yahoo.com)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505813005
A story entitled "Father's Day" in a list of sex stories. This reminds of me of
an event that occurred during one of those Pictionary games at a family New
Years Party last year. My sister-in-law quickly drew a sketch of what looked
like a loosely drawn "x," and my brother immediately shouted "Father's Day!"
Everyone else gasped in wonder, while she blushed bright red. As I looked more
closely at the badly-drawn "x," I realized that it was actually a pair of
asscheeks. A similar picture is a recurrent theme in Kurt Vonnegut's "Breakfast
of Champions." I developed a new respect for my sister-in-law. I may want to
get her drunk more often to learn a little more about my brother's sex life.
In the present story, Sally gives Joe some ties for his birthday and then sends
the kids away for the afternoon. You may have surmised by now that she is going
to tie him up with the ties and then fuck his brains out. Wrong! But you were
close and partly right. You'll have to read the story (which also involves a
golf bag) to find out.
Ratings for "Father's Day"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Karen" by E.Z. Riter (ezriter@pdq.net)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=509064670
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=509064662
Karen is fifteen years younger than her husband, and after about 20 years their
marriage has gone sour. Their daughter has fallen in love with a man
twelve-years her senior. When Polly says yes and brings Eric home to meet mom
and dad, Karen is immediately and irretrievably attracted to him.
Matters are complicated because (a) Eric is one of those legendary men who can
reach deep into a woman's heart to seize her innermost feelings, making her
eager to do what he wished of her, and (b) Eric appears to have the ability to
help Karen's husband solve his financial problems, and so the husband
practically pushes them into an illicit relationship.
Karen resists sort of; but resistance is futile. Soon she is his sex slave.
Soon she loves it.
This is a well-written story, except that I found the slide into the beatific
happiness of sexual slavery too simplistic. It's kind of like a mind control
story it requires a suspension of disbelief that just doesn't quite make
sense except to an in-group of people who think things really happen this way.
People who buy into the sex-slave formula will enjoy this story more than I
did.
Ratings for "Karen"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Twister" by Lunkwill and Fook( lunkwillandfook@hotmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=508309576
I have always known of the existence of the game called "Twister," but I have
never entered any Twister tournaments, if there are any. We always played it
with at least four kids at sleepovers, but I didn't like it because a fat
person would inevitably fall on top of me.
In this story the female protagonist plays Twister solo. That is, she goes
through the necessary contortions alone on the playing surface, giving her
lover a look at what is to come <wink>. Its sort of like a low-angle pole
dance.
Although it's really short, this story has potential. Does anyone have sexy
ideas for Yahtzee?
Ratings for "Twister"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Reciprocity" by Jacques LeBlanc (fader2011@my-deja.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=502120717
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=502122891
Sam Goldberg has just rescued from a fate worse than death a young woman who
turns out to be movie star Natalie Portman. The now deceased thugs who were
going to rape and probably kill her were members of a neo-Nazi hate group. In
fact, they were going to make a snuff movie with her as the star.
After he kills her tormentors, Sam and Natalie listen to Billy Joel music and
discuss Heinlein novels. Then they eat Hummus and tabouli salad in pita
pockets, which Sam prepares. This guy is a Renaissance knight in shining armor.
Then they discuss her movie career. Then, amidst references to James Thurber
and Georgia O'Keefe, they make love. The sexual action is pretty good, and the
set-up within the plot makes it even better.
All the while I was reading this story, I was wondering, "What if the bad guys
have the phone tapped?" You see, I was waiting for some REAL reciprocity. As it
is, this story is sort of fan fiction about a guy who saves the life of a
famous person and she does him the favor of sleeping with him. That's not
really reciprocity. I suspect there is more reciprocity down the line somewhere
in future chapters.
A natural question is whether the vigilante action in this story is legal. The
answer is no, it is not. If one of your friends or loved ones is raped and
murdered, you are supposed to let the police track down the culprits and arrest
them. However, you are allowed to offer a reward and hire private detectives to
obtain information that might be helpful to the police. {This is what O.J.
Simpson has done to find the real killer of his former wife. O.J. is not
allowed to track down and kill the real killer, since this would constitute
suicide or some similar crime.} On the other hand, this sort of vigilante
action is entirely permissible within the rules of Hollywood and pulp fiction.
If the author wants to write a more realistic story, he should either build a
better rationale for the justifiable assassinations or have the noble assassin
continue to maintain his anonymity from the people who are likely to prosecute
him.
In a sense, this author has "blown it" by asking for a review of a story that
is not finished. I rarely have time to review a story a second or third time,
and it's probably best to wait till the whole thing is posted before requesting
a review. I understand that authors want and need feedback, but authors also
have to understand that there are a lot of stories out there. It's neither
practical nor fair to give repeated reviews to just a few stories.
But on the other hand, this review will give this story some of the publicity
it deserves. I certainly recommend taking a look at it.
Ratings for "Reciprocity"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Picture This" by Mary Jorsay Gandmar (maryjg@finebody.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=502302693
Jerry and Veronica work together in an office building in Bombay, India.
Because of heavy rain, they are forced to share a cab ride home a ride
severely slowed by the monsoon. They are initially not aware of their mutual
affection for one another, but it comes forth obvious during the cab ride.
But wait! The cab stalls in the flooded street, and they have to seek refuge in
a nearby hotel, which is crowded beyond capacity and has no room for any new
customers. But wait! The hotel belongs to Jerry's best friend; and in no time
at all the two new friends are fucking like rabbits or ferrets or mongeese or
whatever they have around Bombay that fit the metaphor.
This is a very good story a little exotic for the Western reader and plenty
erotic for any reader.
Ratings for "Picture This"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================
"Age of Consent" (A Good Wife U Story) by Tigger (iamtigger1@excite.com ).
Guest Review by BillyG (hayden@mindless.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505549517
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505552282
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505552286
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505552290
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505552295
Prior to this, I hadn't run across the GWU (Good Wife University) stories and
initially, my mind ran off with me. At first I wondered if the university name
was a play on words. Many years ago I'd read a novel about an intern in a
Boston Hospital that was called "Man's Best Hospital," or the MBH, a play on
abbreviations. The MGH (Massachusetts General Hospital) was arguably one of the
finest teaching hospitals in the country and ate interns for breakfast. So,
unfamiliar with the GWU stories, I looked for a connection that didn't exist.
This brings me to the first observation: If you know the premise of the
original stories, this tale won't be the mystery it was for me, at least in the
early parts of the story. It's true that too much mystery affords a tenuous
connection and one is likely to say, "Oh, to hell with it," and chuck the
effort. I'm glad I didn't, for this is a good story.
I gather the original GWU stories were written by bobbi jo who is featured on
Bobbi Jo's BDSM Fiction web site. On the same site there's also a writer
called Tigger who is the author of the story of this review, "The Age of
Consent."
This is a particularly well-crafted story with attention to detail and carries
a feel of authenticity, a particularly difficult task given the improbability
of the premises - wives are sent to a private institution of learn proper
manners as defined by the staff of GWU. "The Age of Consent" describes the
sudden eruption of an unprecedented and untenable situation - one of the
students is rebelling and threatening drastic legal consequences and at first,
no one understands why. The unraveling and handling of this imbroglio makes
for a fun read.
It should be noted that this story is only tangential about sex and the main
current isn't sexy at all, no more say, than a story of the legal machinations
of a bawdy house fighting to stay alive. It's an entertaining story, but not
an arousing one.
Ratings for "Age of Consent"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Waking Up Is Hard to Do" by Lunkwill And Fook (mr_frogger@my-deja.com). Guest
review by Dave Myers.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505715896
This is an intensely romanticized story of how a man would spend the evening of
his life with the woman he lusts after, were he given the chance. The
descriptions are graphic, well supported by detail, and picture perfect. Maybe
too perfect -- but I'll leave that for other readers to decide for themselves.
Technically, the only thing that made this story less than perfect for me was
that the author was a bit fixated on the fact that the woman of his dreams had
to be a teenager about half his age. I've got no moral, ethical, or
squick-based grounds for disliking this. It even works with the fantasy theme
the author builds throughout. But in some sense, the particular scenario in
which the author has this need to seen as irresistible by a very young,
inexperienced girl centers the story too much around what the author himself
admits he cannot have. For me, this softens the appeal that the story has
overall because it feels less universally sexy. Still, the story as conceived
is pretty good.
Rating: <groan> After some discussions I read on a.s.s.d. involving Janey and
others, I've decided to drop the numerical rating altogether.
Perhaps some explanation is in order... I've never been comfortable giving my
ratings in standard tri-numeral Celestial form. While I understand the purpose
of setting apart the "Appeal to Reviewer" column, I can't bring myself to put a
number under a heading like that. I just fear that this puts the wrong
psychological spin on the answer to the question "What did you think of my
piece?" So I've always tried to keep my reviews pretty informative, and leave
only a single number rating as a sort of vestige hanging off at the end. This
way, I can sort of lump everything together and not have to directly address
the story's "appeal" (except through the textual review). Up to now the good
thing about a 10-point scale has been the the ability to assign middle ground
between "Loved it" and "Hated it", but it seems people have a hard time not
taking it too seriously, despite better intentions. Rather than try to sift out
what story gets an 8 and what gets a 9, I'll try to write longer reviews to
compensate in the future.
"GEMINI: The Twins" by Faux Nomme (fauxnomme@usa.net). Guest review by Nick
(e-mail nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=506688218
Sometimes the passion that someone feels for their subject is infectious,
although you may not share that passion. Whether it's train spotting, tropical
fish or incest, even if it doesn't appeal to you, someone who loves the subject
enough can still draw you in with the sheer power of their enthusiasm.
There is, of course, a very thin dividing line between passion and obsession,
and while passionate writing can captivate almost anyone, obsessive writing
appeals only to fellow obsessives.
As I read this story I found myself enthralled by the way the childish love
between twin brother and sister grew to become sexual. The writer clearly feels
passionately about his subject and although I was reading outside my genre I
found it thoroughly enjoyable. Unfortunately towards the end, I felt the
passion became obsession and lost interest. The final sex scene was very
ordinary at best and repeated references to "pumping cum into my sister" rather
spoilt it for me.
A good story though. My marks are:
Athena (technique) 10
Venus (plot/character) 10
Appeal 9
=====================
Reposted Reviews:
=====================
* "Banana Split" by DG (dionysian1@hotmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=345463176
This story is a contribution to Lord Malinov's Spring Break Orgy, and will be
posted there. The url for this fun event is:
http://www.gslink.com/~dcain/xanadu/erotica/island/index1.html. This author
also wrote an introduction to the orgy, entitled "A Cruise to Remember," which
explains in detail how everyone ended up on the island on which this story
takes place. You can find that story and the author's other work at the above
url or at his web site: http://www.io.com/~thebear/dgidx.
One thing that beginners have to realize about orgies is that not everyone has
to fuck everyone else during the festivities. There are some orgyists who like
to cuddle up with just one person they love and make tender love - possibly
incorporating whatever fruit happens to be available. Hence this story.
As I have said before, Malinov's cruise has become immensely successful. I
cannot possibly review all the stories in detail. However, I really did enjoy
this one, and I encourage you to take a look at it.
Ratings for "Banana Split"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
Vickie Morgan has recently reposted many of her stories. I hadn't realized how
many of her stories I had reviewed. Here are the reposts of the reviews:
* "I.O.U." by Vickie Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?446657517
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?446657521
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?446657525
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?446657528
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?446657532
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?446657536
This story takes place in the northeastern part of England, which is a country
on an island between North America and Europe, where never have so many owed so
much to so few. It's good to read stories like this one, because they break
down stereotypes. For example, I thought the Brits measured height and length
in cubits, but they don't.
Ellie visits her old friends back home. She meets her best friend's brother,
for whom she used to baby-sit when he was twelve years old. At that time he had
been turned off to girls. In fact, he had sworn them off completely. So
completely that Ellie had signed a promissory note (hence the title) that said,
"I promise that if Carl Robinson hasn't had sex by the time he is eighteen I
will go to bed with him. Signed Elizabeth Hawkins." It turns out that six
years later, he still has the note. If you can do the math, you can figure out
a major part of the plot.
That reminds me of two things:
(1) It's a shame men don't have some sort of membrane built into their bodies
so that it would be possible to check claims like the one Carl makes in this
story.
(2) It really is important to be nice to people who are two young for you when
you are a teenager. They grow up.
(3) It's fun to get it in writing when a prepubescent kid swears off sex. My
own mother got it in writing, and my husband and I had a lot of fun with the
note on our wedding night.
Anyway, I had a long hard day today; and I really appreciated it when I sat
down at my computer and read a story that was not only sexy but also realistic,
thought-provoking, and entertaining. I think I owe this author something.
Ratings for "I.O.U."
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Amazon Adventure" by Vickie Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=438651338
The Amazon warrior gets hot just being in the presence of the Man who has been
captured by the tribe. So she is not really upset when he screws her. There
are a lot of loose ends in this story. About all they do is become attracted
to each other and copulate. If the Amazon warriors had a union, that group
would object to the stereotypical treatment of even the greatest of female
warriors as a mere plaything who becomes putty in the hands of the right man.
Of course, the Metaphor Police would get just a little upset at my mixed
metaphors in that last sentence.
The story has a surprise twist at the ending.
The author says in her disclaimer that she just rushed this one together, and
it shows. It's not a bad story; but there are a lot better stories in this
newsgroup several of them by this very same author.
Ratings for "Amazon Adventure"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
* "Distractions" by Vickie Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=386878337&fmt=raw
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http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/14929.txt
The story starts with a vague description of some sort of bet. Apparently the
woman is supposed to do whatever she can to get a rise <g> out of her lover
without actually touching him. She does her duty, and in the process she
mentally retraces some of her earlier adventures with him.
I really can't tell you much more, can I? I'll just add that there's an
interesting twist at the end.
The only thing wrong with the story is that it needs a few more commas. Their
absence was distracting, but that may have something to do with the title of
this story.
Ratings for "Distractions"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Back To Reality" By Vickie Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385730433
Ellen was severely injured when she rescued a stranger at the scene of a
serious accident. She is in great pain, and it is not certain she will ever
walk again. Fortunately, the person she saved is a really rich and extremely
grateful woman, who has sent Ellen for her entertainment a virtual reality
machine. This makes sense: what better way to wile away the time until the
pain dissipates? As I might have put it, "Morphing is better than morphine."
Fortunately, the author has a lot more dignity than I do.
The VR3000 comes with a safeword (which leads to an automatic exit from the
program) and is protected by several fuses and trip switches, so it's
impossible for a power surge to affect it. Most programmes last about a
fortnight (a measure of time in Europe), and so the VR3000 has intravenous
drips to make sure the participant gets necessary nutrients and liquids and
tubes to deal with waste. Etc. The designers have thought of everything.
Or have they?
Ellen first plunges into the virtual world of Romeo and Juliet (a play that
people read and watch in Europe). Her involvement in the play is remarkably
realistic. However, it turns out that Ellen is a lot like me. By that I mean
she decides to deviate from the Bard's plot to see how adaptable the program
is. It's logical that the main characters would be well researched, but how
much time had been spent on minor characters and just what would happen if she
decided to change the plot? Hence, "Kiss me, Mercutio." And then, as the poet
said, the cumshot hits the fan.
I found it reassuring to discover that the VR3000 lacks an effective
spellcheck: we find Ellen upset because she can't stop Arthur from "marring"
Guinevere in the Camelot program. Actually, maybe the 3000 just has a really
good Freudian subroutine.
Anyway, she gets a souped-up version of the program that enables her to travel
through the countryside of Umbria and Tuscany (places where people in Europe
like to bask when on holiday), where this conversation occurs:
<<"I'm sorry. I just wish this was all real. I wish you were real."
"What on earth are you talking about?"
"This is just a very clever computer game. I'm laid in a machine in England
with wires and tubes stuck in me while a load of processing chips, or whatever
they're called, create this whole illusion."
"Have you been smoking illegal substances?" David asked lightly. She sat up
and looked into his eyes.
"I'm serious. None of this exists."
"Are you saying I don't exist?">>
In the middle of this conversation, Ellen realizes that she has forgotten to
set the program to go beyond the prescribed fortnight. Indeed, it's possible
that, like Americans, Europeans get fortnights confused with furlongs and
fathoms. Anyway, what does a virtual solipsist do when it's midnight,
Cinderella? And can you believe that my computer didn't even blink at the word
"solipsist"?
David seems to have the solution: "You have to leave. After all, I don't
really exist and you do. And you are a wonderful person. Never forget that.
One day you will meet a real man who will love you just as I do."
Now, I'm not going to tell you how this story ends. But I know perfectly well
that the producer for "Days of Our lives" reads my reviews. Listen up! The
"Days" storyline sucks right now. Dump your writers and hire this author.
You'll go right back to the top of the daytime ratings.
I don't think this is really the time to ask you this, but I can't help it. Do
you sometimes get the feeling that there are too many solipsists in the world?
I've been thinking about that question a lot lately. And if I can think about
it, I must have Cartesian coordinates. And if you've been thinking about this
too, that means that I might be right. At least I think
so.
Ratings for "Back To Reality"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Betrayed by a Kiss" by Vickie Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com). Guest Review
by BillyG (hayden@mindless.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?460665864
Vickie Morgan's latest offering, "Betrayed by a Kiss," is a very well crafted
tale that's told in the past tense and relates to events that are even farther
in the past - the past past tense if you will. These backflashes are woven
through the tale in an effective manner, providing the bits and pieces that
illuminate the story's path.
Unlike Morgan's previous story, "Loss of Innocence," this particular tale is
quite erotic, although it would appear to be driven by darker motives. There's
an operative anonymity throughout, for the protagonists are known only as him
and her, although on the superficial planes of such a short story, they have a
certain substance nevertheless.
Much of the delight in this story is found in the gradual unveiling of what's
happening; to reveal any of it, would be to limit that pleasure. It's well
worth reading and for me, the impact was not so much like a sudden explosion as
a slowly-moving train wreck, still powerfully inexorable.
A picky criticism: Anyone who uses words like otiose or pandiculation would be
better served to know that the plural of areola is areolae or areolas.
Further, that one person has but one set of genitals. Someone with genitalia
could find employment in a side show.
Ratings for "Betrayed by a Kiss"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "Sorry" by Vickie Morgan
Email: <artemis55@hotmail.com>
Review by: Rosemerry
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=446657544
A very short little sketch, a "do" of a music video with a twist. The little
story's text flowed reasonably well, with some technical errors. The question
of plot and character didn't really come up, in such a storyless vignette,
hence the N/A.
No graphic depiction of sex at all in this one, so I can't really call it
erotica. I should also remark that I don't think the video imagery worked so
well as a story; it just made me impatient. However, the ending made me laugh!
~>Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) {MF}
~>Athena (Technical and Grammar) 6
~>Venus (Plot and Character) N/A
~>Rosemerry (Appeal to Reviewer) 5
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