Celestial Reviews 255 - February 4, 1998
Note: One day, the doorbell rings at 221B Baker street. Dr. Watson goes
to the door, as Mrs. Hudson is away for the weekend.
When he opens the door, he sees a schoolgirl standing there. He says to
her, "Yes?"
"I'm here to see Mr. Holmes, sir," she replies.
So the good doctor shows her to the great detective's study. A few
minutes later, he hears what appears to be the sounds of a great
struggle coming from the room, with panting and groaning. Immediately
his mind springs to the only available conclusion - the evil Professor
Moriarty, cleverly disguised as a schoolgirl, is doing away with the
great Holmes!
Springing to his feet, he bounds across the room and yanks the door
open... to see Holmes, naked, laying atop the schoolgirl, pumping away
for all he is worth.
Pulling himself up to his full height, the doctor sputters, "I SAY!
Holmes! And just what sort of a 'schoolgirl" is this?" he sneers.
The great detective looks up, removes his Meersham pipe from his mouth,
and calmly replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
Second note: I'd like to point out that there are a lot of intelligent
and kind people on this group who are willing to help others. I get
lots of fan mail thanking me for these reviews. {That's OK! Don't
stop. As the song says, "Ain't no such thing as too much fan mail."}
What people often ignore, however, is that people with less obvious
profiles often to a lot for this group. I hope you all realize the
value of Eli's a.s.s.m. with its archives and of Ole Joe's notes on our
subculture. {I take a wicked delight in thinking that I am the topic of
a discussion in an anthropology class somewhere. Of course, that also
means that a bunch of students hate me because they missed a question on
a test about me. Kinda like Shakespeare and Milton, I guess.} In
addition, I have some guest reviewers whose reviews are more eagerly
awaited than my own.
But in addition to the high profile people who make this group work,
there are people whose names you would never recognize because they work
behind the scenes. Whenever I report a problem, somebody sends me a
solution. The same thing occurs in a.s.s.d.: a person writes with a
question regarding how to format or submit a story, and someone quickly
posts a helpful answer. Then there are the people who send me jokes or
write parodies in verse of my grammar suggestions. For a bunch of
perverts, we really are a nice community of people. I'd like to express
my thanks to everyone who has helped out.
Third note: I still need a reviewer for the Doc Savage style story
entitled "Bronze Lust." If you are interested, drop me a line.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews
for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
(Note: Links beginning with x9.dejanews.com may be unstable.)
"Kim Nice-but-Dim" by BronwenSM (humorous sexual
awakening) 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7904.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7905.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7906.txt
"In a Quiet Corner of the Galley Waiting for the Coffee
to Perk " by Mat Twassel (non- humorous sexual
awakening) 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7837.txt
"Summer Vacation" by Ann Douglas (intergenerational sex)
9.5, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8127.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8128.txt
"A Missy Christmas" by Michael K. Smith (family reunion
sex) 10, 9, 9
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7747.txt
"Field of Dreams" by Sarlim (outdoor sex) 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7910.txt
"Melissa" by Mark Aster (family reunion non-sex)
10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8004.txt
"Mystery Flasher 2" by Phloighd (record store sex) 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8086.txt
Guest Reviews:
"Singled Out" by akch23 (femdom) 8, 9, 8
http://w9.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=320638377&
CONTEXT=886640878.2075721810&hitnum=0
"A Lipstick Called . . . BLACKMAIL!" by PleaseCain (femdom)
6, 10, 9
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7982.txt
"Wandering Around Campus" by Young Lecher (sex by a lake)
8, 5, 5
http://w9.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=316932334&
CONTEXT=886641031.1595474891&hitnum=0
"Camp" by WhiteStar (pisonic sex kid) 9, 8, 6
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7665.txt - Part 1-1
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7673.txt - Part 1-2
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7674.txt - Part 1-3
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7668.txt - Part 1-4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7678.txt - Part 1-5
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7666.txt - Part 2-1
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7675.txt - Part 2-2
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7667.txt - Part 2-3
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7679.txt - Part 2-4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7683.txt - Part 3-1
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7669.txt - Part 3-2
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7671.txt - Part 3-3
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7670.txt - Part 3-4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7680.txt - Part 3-5
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7681.txt - Part 4-1
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7676.txt - Part 4-2
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7672.txt - Part 4-3
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7677.txt - Part 4-4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7682.txt - Part 4-5
"Death Row 2" by Waldo (transgender drama) 10, 10, 9
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7949.txt - Chapter 1
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7954.txt - Chapter 2
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7947.txt - Chapter 3
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7946.txt - Chapter 4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7948.txt - Chapter 5
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7951.txt - Chapter 6
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7953.txt - Chapter 7
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7952.txt - Chapter 8
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7950.txt - Chapter 9
Reposted Reviews:
* "Slow Dancing With a Stranger" by Sarlim (romance)
10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7909.txt
* "Mystery Flasher" by Phloighd (exhibitionism) 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/7933.txt
* "Livinia" by Friar Dave (complex romance) 9.5, 10, 10
http://w9.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=320450778
&CONTEXT=886642067.2079129651&hitnum=18
http://w9.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=321640533&
CONTEXT=886642067.2079129651&hitnum=16
http://w9.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=321960837&
CONTEXT=886642067.2079129651&hitnum=7
* "Emptiness" by DevoSpudC (disillusionment) 9, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/8005.txt
* "Sucker" by BronwenSM (emerging adolescence & humor)
10, 10, 10
* "Sucker" Chapters 2 and 3 by BronwenSM (continued sex
odyssey) 10, 10, 10
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
"Kim Nice-but-Dim" by Bronwen (bronwen@anon.nymserver.com).
Bronwen's stories are archived at http://www.cyber-
mall.com/Bronwen.
When I was in elementary school, I once referred to someone as
"nice," and the person to whom I was speaking replied, ""Nice'
means 'bow-legged.'" Just now I finally got around to checking
that assertion. I wish to report that there is no evidence in my
unabridged dictionary that "nice" means "bow-legged." On a
related topic, however, there is dictionary evidence to uphold the
old distinction between a "nice girl" and a "good girl." {A good
girl goes out on a date, comes home, and then goes to bed. A nice
girl goes out on a date, goes to bed, and then comes home.}
I have previously reviewed the first chapter of this story as a
separate posting {"Sucker"}, and a guest reviewer has already done
the same for the last two chapters. The author has updated these
chapters slightly and has reposted them under this new title, and
I am now reviewing the whole story. I am also reposting the
previous reviews.
Kim is the teenage daughter of an MP. No, not a mounted policeman
or even a military policeman - the bloke's a member of parliament!
As the title suggests, Kim is not too swift in the attic. It's
not quite true to say that she has a room temperature IQ, but she
lacks a certain social sophistication. As the title of the first
chapter suggests, she's a "sucker" in more ways than one.
Kim has been the kind of girl nobody would take a second look at.
But then her body gets really involved in this pubescence thing,
and all of a sudden she is the girl everyone fancies, and most of
them seem terrified of her.
Then Oliver asks her out. Oliver, the best looking boy in the
school, who used to not care about Kim enough to give her the time
of day. On their first date Kim has medicinal sex with him.
Pretty soon she's giving first aid to all the homies in the 'hood
-<ooops! wrong dialect!>
British sex is complicated. Her father gets blootered and makes a
suggestion about "fucking the European Community" - a formidable
task even for a person as diligent as Kim.
Then one afternoon while she is mooching about by the horseboxes
at the polo club, where her mum spends her time trolling for
Argentineans, Kim meets Greek Eddie - who is actually French. At
first I was concerned over the statement that Kim was having
trouble "ringing" Eddie, but then I realized that problem was more
closely related to Ma Bell than Big Johnson. Eventually, Eddie
gives it to Kim up the jacksie - not very delicately, I might add.
Either he thought she was screaming with delight or it didn't
bother him that she wasn't. It hurt. In fact, it hurt like
buggery, which gave Kim an insight into the etymology of that
term. As Disraeli said, " I adore sucking cock, but this buggery
crap is simply not my cup of tea." Or as Mark Twain put it, "If
your arse hurts that much, how do you take a shit?"
But then on one of those moveable feast nights Brits get in the
country, Kim has an epiphany. {There's subtle religious humor in
the preceding sentence, but just in case you missed it, I'll offer
you something less subtle: What do you call an Aggie cheerleader
with two brain cells? Give up? Pregnant!} Anyway, Kim discovers
that the men have been using her for their own pleasure. Rude
Awakening City! Kim doesn't mind being considered so dumb that
blondes tell jokes about her, but the worst thing is that she has
been pootling along thinking they liked her, and they didn't -
they didn't give a shit and she'd never noticed. Revelation
Station!
Well, Uncle Barnaby rescues Kim and takes her home in his dj.
{That one worried me for a while, but eventually I realized it was
a dinner jacket.} Barny is a sort of knight in shining armor.
When he finds out what the teenage boys have been doing to Kim, he
exclaims in a passionate paroxysm of avuncular alliteration, "How
dare the bloody bugger bugger my battered baby?"
Barny is initially a bit concerned at how his niece (who is not
really his niece) got to be so gormless, but he sets the question
aside and jumps her bones. He does it very nicely. The waves
pound on the beach, the pistons piston, fireworks go off, and
rockets are launched. Then, of course, there's a surprise ending.
Here's a vocabulary note. Bronwen makes some mistakes on purpose,
but I think she said "homely" where she really meant to say
"homey." In the unlikely event that you get bored reading this
story, you can look for that one.
Ratings for "Kim Nice-but-Dim"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"In a Quiet Corner of the Galley Waiting for the Coffee to Perk " by Mat
Twassel (Mmtwassel@aol.com). Mat Twassel's stories are archived at
http://members.aol.com/Mmtwassel/index.html.
This is a really difficult story to try to explain. The best I
can do is to say that it reminded me of a D.H. Lawrence story with
a piano replacing a rocking horse - and different motivations for
the child's behavior.
A woman is describing to another person over coffee her "first
time." This event occurred when she was twelve years old in early
summer in the context of piano lessons from Mr. Trombley. That's
all I am going to tell you, except to say that this is a very good
story.
If you are looking for some mind-blowing pedophilia or for some
other form of hot sex, you will be disappointed with this story.
Instead of hot sex, the story gives us an insight into the mind of
a young girl who has been abruptly exposed to sex for the first
time. Likewise, if you found "The Rocking Horse Winner" to be a
real drag, you should probably skip this one. I'm not sure
whether the author will be flattered or annoyed by my comparison
to Lawrence; and I may even be way off base with the comparison.
Take a look and see what you think.
Ratings for "In a Quiet Corner"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Summer Vacation" by Ann Douglas (annd@pop.tiac.net). Michael has been
staying for the summer months with his Aunt Karyn, a rubenesque widow
related to him by marriage, who is both an attractive lady and a pillar
of the local community. One day when he comes home unexpectedly,
Michael discovers that his aunt isn't exactly a prude, since she has the
delicatessen owner's salami buried deep inside her pussy.
As you probably know, Ann Douglas writes stories that have two major
characteristics: (1) there is almost always a good plot that contains
some fairly hot sex, and (2) the characters often engage in some sort of
"moral immorality." That is, they often break a taboo of some sort, but
the author develops a rationale other than simple-minded urge to violate
the taboo.
In this case we have an example of an older woman having sexual
relations with a 17-year-old boy. But instead of having the older woman
say, "Hey! There's a teenager! I think I'll seduce him!", we get a
much more sensible lead-in, which lets us respect both the boy and the
woman on the morning after.
Oddly enough, even though I have given you the details in the preceding
paragraph, I still have not told you much about the story. You can
still read it and enjoy the interesting twists and turns of the plot.
Ratings for "Summer Vacation"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"A Missy Christmas" by Michael K. Smith. Dan is attending the clan's
annual Christmas party, conversing with the elite snobs who constitute
his extended family, when he is accosted by his cousin, Missy Markham,
who has been the cause of most of his wet dreams and early morning
erections for about two years. She's the kind of a girl who has a
tendency to make a guy she talks to have to stand behind a chair to
conceal his hard-on. She asks Dan to be her escort; Dan agrees; and we
are led to believe that there is some unusual significance to this
assignment.
They fuck in the attack, and the description of the sex is very hot.
The only problem with this story is that it didn't have quite as
interesting a plot as others by this author. But it's still a darned
good story.
Ratings for "A Missy Christmas"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Field of Dreams" by Sarlim (Sarlim@aol.com). The narrator and her
husband go to one of those "living history" events, where all the
participants dress up in historically correct costumes and re-enact a
part of history. In this case we find ourselves in medieval times; the
husband is Tristan and the wife Isolt. They make love on the fighting
field at night, barely out of sight of the people in the fire pit. It
sounds simple - I guess it IS simple; but it's also a very nice, romantic
story.
Ratings for "Field of Dreams"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Melissa" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). Our Hero is at a family
gathering, where he encounters the lithe and lovely, lewd and lascivious
Melissa, a veritable vision to his aging eyes. When Melissa takes a
break to take a leak, Pat emerges from the shrubbery with the news that
Melissa is only fourteen years old. I'll spoil the surprise ending for
you: Our Hero breaks it off short of having going for a ride in her fur-
lined canoe. This is about the hottest non-sex I have seen around here
in a long time.
One interesting side-note. My husband reported to me several years ago
that caring for a baby in public is better than a good pick-up line as a
way for a guy to meet attractive young women. Our Hero expands this
theory by using twins.
Ratings for "Melissa"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Mystery Flasher 2" by Phloighd" (jroot@netunlimited.net). This is
technically a follow-up to "Mystery Flasher," the review of which I am
reposting later in this issue. However, this story stands very well on
its own.
The narrator is working in a record store. The Flasher is moving
through the store, getting all the guys - and some of the girls -
sexually aroused. Finally, the narrator makes a Freudian slip - a
sexual innuendo referring to the Flasher when he was supposed to be
announcing something else. Instead of merely embarrassing our hard-
working <g> clerk, this turns the Flasher on even more intensely, and
she invites him out to her microbus for a quickie.
This story's intensity of the sexual descriptions - even when sex is not
actually taking place - is impressive. This will appeal to readers of
both genders.
"Singled Out" by akch23 (akch23@hotmail.com). Guest review by Sven.
{Celestial note: This story was listed in the postings as "Singed Out.
The title at the top of the first page said "Singled Out." I suspect
the latter is the author's intention.}
I must really declare an interest, or more accurately a disinterest.
Being dominated by a woman has never really been very high on my lists
of things to do. Oh yes! I am an inveterate scriber of lists - my 'to
do things for today' sometimes gets quite long; and having been written
and used to marshal my thoughts for the day, the list then gets totally
ignored. Another thing that turns me off beyond belief is pain - my
religion is devout cowardice and pain to be avoided at all costs.
Now I am sure that for some good folks, both pain and being
humiliatingly dominated by a woman is their road to perfect bliss - I
personally cannot fathom why - but ours not to reason why etc., etc. The
story is complete, has a plot, and is well told. The mistake in the
title is minor, as are one or two small errors in the text. Although
not homonyms they are misspellings which are in themselves incorrect. I
know from personal experience they are not picked up by a spell checker,
but are by a proofreader. (Avail yourselves of Celeste's free and
wonderful service of being put in touch with your very own proofer right
now folks! You are but a request to the good lady away from this
excellent service.)
Although my marks reflect the above comments, this was a good story, and
I have no doubt it will be enjoyed by those who like the subject matter.
Ratings for Singed out
Technical quality: 8 (a good proofer would sort out some minor
problems.)
Plot & character: 9 (Well developed in what is a quite short story)
Sven (appeal to reviewer): 8 (Not really my cup of tea.)
"A Lipstick Called . . . BLACKMAIL!" by PleaseCain (pleasecain@aol.com).
Guest review by Bronwen. PleaseCain has a story menu at
http://members.aol.com/pleasecain/stories.
The Mexican housekeeper walks into her employer's bedroom and finds the
teenage son of the house there alone. He's wearing (and jerking off
into) the sexiest pair of Mommy's panties he can find. The housekeeper
blackmails him into submitting to humiliation, into satisfying her, and
eventually into becoming the toy for a group of her male friends.
The transition from the outset, when our wealthy college boy hero has
only ventured a toe into the waters of feminization, to the end when, in
wig and black lace teddy, he actively seeks out his tormentors, is
smoothly handled. The description is good, and the whole set-up is
convincing (apart from the butt-fucking - I suspect the author may not
have personal experience).
I appreciated the characterization (scanty, but there). The writer
doesn't describe his characters in list form - so common a flaw in ASS -
"My name's Candy, I'm blonde, 5' 3" and wear a 36b bra" - you know the
gubbins - he lets them and the settings emerge through the narrative.
It's well put together.
I was impressed with this story. The version I saw was unformatted - a
major turn-off for me - but I persevered and it was worth it. Some words
had run together, creating charming new ones like 'sheletgo and
'pairofundies'. That was one hurdle. The other was the subject.
TG, feminization, femdom - none of these are my cup of tea - yet I could
see the excitement through the eyes of the narrator. I enjoyed it. If
these *are* your turn-ons I suspect you'll really love it!
One personal aside - would the author please refrain in future from
describing tidy drawers in such excruciating detail. Gave me the glums
for a good half hour! (chaos is winning in my house - found a pet rat in
a sock drawer yesterday.)
Ratings for "Lipstick Called BLACKMAIL!"
Athena (technical quality): 6 (marks off for format)
Venus (plot & character): 10
Bronwen (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Wandering Around Campus" by Young Lecher (nobody@REPLAY.COM). Guest
review by Wherryman.
This story, of an MFF encounter by a lake, was not to my taste on
several counts. The style seemed very jerky, and I found the language
unappealing - "I gave Julie's dugs a tug", for example. Finally although
it's only a four-page story, page one seems wasted, introducing
characters who immediately drift out of the story but don't do anything
for plot or character development.
Overall my comments possibly make it sound worse than it is. Read it by
all means, but I wouldn't go hunting for it specially.
Rating for Wandering Around Campus:
Technical merit 8
Plot & character 5
Appeal to reviewer 5
"Camp" by WhiteStar (from oedipus_rex@hotmail.com). Guest review by
BillyG.
The review of this MC (mind control) story will be inversely
proportional to its length. When Celeste initially sent me the first
chapter of "Camp," entitled "Ron's Journey," I remembered having read
much of it before, and that it was very long. Indeed, on looking it up
I saw that the first chapter was 179K bytes in length and the size of
the -unfinished- tome in my stories folder was 745K bytes.
I mention these sizes for a purpose. Most of the outstanding stories
we've been privileged to read on a.s.s.m. in the last few years have
been of manageable size. By that I mean, one could curl up in the early
evening, perhaps by the fire, and finish the story with energy left over
to woo and love your mate a bit later. These stories have a beginning,
a middle, and most importantly, an end. (Yeah, yeah. I know. The Jean
story is going to be ended the -next- chapter, I promise.) The appeal
of many of these stellar tales is the pull of an identifiable seduction
followed by some sort of resolution. As opposed to that genre, there
are those stories that appear to go on forever. Oh, they don't
actually, but often they don't ever end either. The author appears to
simply become fatigued, usually long after me, and simply stops writing.
If you like stories with a beginning and an ending, you probably won't
be thrilled over "Camp." On the other hand, if you like MC stories that
are relatively well written, with or without an ending, then this one
might well turn you on. It's rich in detail with a consistency of
characters that carries through. I suppose I had some difficulty with
the apparent directionless path of scenario after scenario. Ron Chaffy
is a 13-year-old boy-pisonic who is going on 50. His insight and wisdom
belie his stated chronological age. He's a horny kid who successfully
contrives to have sex with about every good-looking woman in sight,
starting in his own home.
The sex is passionless, as much of mind-control sex is. It becomes
difficult to hold in reverence or appreciation that which can be had
with nothing more than the snap of someone's mental fingers. Where's
the desire? The adventure? The risk? Of course, the answer is, there
isn't any.
When I was 13, I certainly might have wished I had that power. Now that
I'm no longer that young, I'm thankful for my humanness. Perhaps that's
the key. It might best appeal to the teenagers in us; but in my view,
the story lacks the substance of "adult" erotica - whatever that is.
Ratings for "Camp"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 6
"Death Row 2" by Waldo (MelLin6695@aol.com). {transgender drama}.
Guest review by SandMan (sandman@bitsmart.com).
If I had not woken up so early Saturday morning, if it had not been
raining, precluding my morning jog, I doubt I would have read "Death Row
][" of my own accord. I was flipping through the new stories, one by
one, rejecting each for one reason or another. Then I hit chapter one
of this nine chapter, 236K novella. By the end of the first paragraph,
I was hooked. Six hours later I was sitting down to write a review.
John Augustus is a Mafia Don, biding his time on death row. He's a
feisty fellow though, and isn't going to go down without a fight. Using
his connections he extorts the services of a Chinese magician who can
see to it that John exchanges souls with another person -- specifically
a woman, the rules of magic can be uncomfortable that way. John by
nature is a suspicious man so his cell-mate is the first person to
escape this way. Thus begins a rather intriguing
plot.
How this all fits into "Death Row I" I can't say having never read the
original. That I was able to leap right into the story is a tribute to
the author's talents. If the two had not been part of the title, never
would have guessed there had been an earlier story. The plot is complex
though immanently readable, with many sub-plots being finely woven into
a greater whole. Given the size, the complexity, and the subject matter
it's easy to see how the whole thing could simply fall apart. But it
doesn't. From the first paragraph to the very last, the author deftly
holds the reader's attention.
There is only one problem with the story. As I was reading chapter 8, I
began to get the sinking feeling that the author was going to suddenly
tie up all these loose ends in the last chapter. As I was reading
chapter 9, the last chapter, I began to fear the author would attempt to
wrap everything up in one last paragraph. When I got to the last
paragraph, I was devastated to learn that everything would be resolved
in "Death Row III."
The author explained his rational at the end, yet I believe the audience
(especially me) would have been better served if he had not produced a
cliffhanger -- I would have been much happier reading an eighteen
chapter story than a nine chapter cliffhanger. No doubt when "Death Row
III" comes out, I will revisit Eli's archive, reread "Death Row II" and
then find out what happens to these interesting people.
Scoring an unfinished story is a bit difficult. Athena is easy; the
technical quality is as good as anything you'll ever see on Usenet or in
professional print. Venus is trickier because it's unfinished. The plot
so far has been amazingly rich, the sex interesting -- detailed at
times, tantalizingly vague at others. I believe the author has the
ability to fulfill his promise in completing the story so I'll allow
some leeway in my score. In appeal to reviewer I'm knocking off a lone
point because the story is a cliffhanger and I don't want to have to
wait to find out how it all ends -- I get enough of that from Robert
Jordan's "Wheel of Time" epic.
Whether you like transgender or not, I would urge you to take a look at
this story. The gender changes are not dwelled on elaborately and no
doubt most readers will be able to ignore the moral issues this raises.
"Death Row ][" is as well written and as interesting as anything you'll
find in your local book store.
Athena (technical quality): 10-- Perfect
Venus (plot & character): 10-- Very, very interesting story.
Sandman(appeal to reviewer): 9-- Very impressed.
* "Slow Dancing With a Stranger" by Sarlim (sarlim@aol.com). Guest
review by BluePencil.
Hotel bars are one of the staples of erotic literature.
Patronized by strangers both to the locale and to one another,
they offer easy anonymity, lowered inhibitions, and a somewhat
structured meeting ground for lonely people far from home.
When our narrator enters the bar alone, it is almost inevitable
that he will meet someone. Our narrator is in no hurry; it is
only after he has found a table, sipped his drink, and started to
relax that he pays attention to the people on the dance floor.
Soon enough, his attention has focused on the tall, dark-haired
beauty who seems to be accepting only a single dance with each
man. But alas, just as he readies himself to ask for the next,
her most recent dance partner sits at her table. Discouraged, our
hero sadly orders a fresh drink . . .
I shan't continue the rest of the story in such detail. Almost
casually, Sarlim maintains the depth of characterization through
their meeting, several surprises, some very well-drawn sex, and an
unexpected but well-fitting ending.
Though many possible cliches are present - the hotel bar, the
mysterious stranger, a possible voyeur - they are handled deftly,
a nod to the conventions rather than a reliance on them. Sarlim
is one of the best authors currently posting to a.s.s, and this
story is a fine example of his work.
Ratings for "Slow Dancing With a Stranger"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot and character): 10
BluePencil (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Mystery Flasher" by Phloighd (jroot@netmcr.com). The narrator
is working in a remote section of a record and book store. A very
attractive woman comes up to his counter and starts flirting with
him. The conversation is sexy and seductive. There's really not
much to say about this story, except that it's extremely sexy and
seductive - and I've already said that.
This is this author's first story. Either he got lucky or I want
to see a lot more stories from him.
Ratings for "Mystery Flasher"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Livinia" by Friar Dave. Hubris can be a serious problem. The
term refers to "an overweening pride" or over-confidence typically
shown by heroes in classical tragedies immediately before their
downfall. I haven't used the word "overweening" since I wrote
that definition on an exam nearly 20 years ago; but I have had my
share of hubris. In the present case, I figured that I knew Friar
Dave so well that after I had read in Part 1 about him having
passionate sex with a hot Filipino woman with a cute daughter, I
figured I had the story pretty well figured out. They would make
love in numerous interesting ways; he would become a devoted
father figure for the daughter; and Livinia and our hero would get
married and live happily ever after.
Then at the beginning of Part 2 my mind was jarred to discover
that the hero already had a wonderful but open relationship with
another beautiful woman who sometimes liked the same ladies that
the hero liked. That's hubris for you. The opposite of hubris is
Socratic humility; and it will be more useful in the present
situation. I know nothing except that I know nothing about this
story, and I had better get back to it. It sounds both hot and
interesting.
Surprises abound in this story. Soon we learn that Livinia was
essentially a sex slave in the Philippines, but through some good
luck she managed to get away with her daughter to the United
States. We also discover that Livinia has a confused sister with
some lesbian proclivities, and that Livinia is one of those
proclivities.
In addition to teaching English I have done a lot of work with
sexually abused women. The main difference between Livinia and
most of the woman who have been through similar experiences is
that she is still alive and even adaptively functional at the age
of 30.
The story is realistic, sensitive, and sexy. Friar Dave's writing
style is not as sharp as it has been in most of his other stories,
but maybe he got wrapped up in the plot too. I found this to be a
most enjoyable story.
Ratings for "Livinia"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Emptiness" by DevoSpudC (cwilson9@ix.netcom.com). Erika has
always known herself to be beautiful: she won her first beauty
pageant at age eleven. Tonight her boyfriend has been murdered in
a drive-by shooting and she has run off into the street, tried to
kill herself, been rescued by a passing motorist, and has
essentially been raped by that man.
This is a weird and confusing story - but deliberately so. It's
not really all that sexy, but it certainly did hold my attention.
Ratings for "Emptiness"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Sucker" by BronwenSM (bronwensm@cuckoo.clara.net). Live and learn,
that's what I always say. I've spent my life on this side of the pond.
I always thought the British were much like the rest of us. I read
Shakespeare, of course, but I always figured he's been dead for nearly a
hundred years now, and I figured the British didn't really talk that
way. I have always been pretty sure that the people of the UK really
liked us over here in the colonies, because after all the American
Revolution was really a fight between a group of British subjects and a
German King - the Germans, don't get me off on them or I'll never get
back to this review. I figured MAYBE the British talked in iambic
pentameter and expressed their love in sonnets and could actually
understand what John Milton was talking about and sang "Singing in the
Rain" on those occasions when they raped somebody. But even though I
often wondered how they got along with almost no real television and why
all the good musicians left the country as soon as they grew up, I knew
that deep down they were ordinary blokes, although I wasn't really sure
whether it was proper to refer to a female Brit as a bloke.
I could go on, but the point is that along came BronwenSM, who has two
capital letters at the end of her name. So right away I knew that I was
going to learn things about my confreres from the Mother Country.
Anyway, this is a story about a 16-year-old girl {that would probably be
17 in ordinary years, eh Mate?} who was formerly what we Americans call
a plain Jane. While she's laid up {no sexual connotation, even in
England} with glandular fever, her body goes through what American talk
shows {BBC Channel 2} sometimes call adolescent metamorphosis. In
short, she comes back a babe - a young femme fatale, one might say -
after spending some time convalescing at huge tatty mansion on a cliff
with a private beach of Aunt Dolly in Wales. Or, as a more astute
British author might put it, during her hiatus she had gone from the
plainly porcine to lithe and lascivious loveliness. When she returned to
school, her impact on society was emphatic if not traumatic. Great gangs
of men on building sites shrieked at her like gibbons, old men slipped
off their Zimmer frames when she went into the post office, and her
terrifying chemistry master went red all the way up his neck whenever he
looked at her and then left a really embarrassing poem in my pigeon
hole.
So when this bloke she fancied asked her to go swimming with him, she
nearly dropped down dead with delight. See what I mean? American
teenagers would simply cum in their panties, which doesn't even
alliterate, as if they would know what that means! Way gone, dude! I
think I'm going to give up trying to imitate the British style in this
subtle manner and simply get on with it. After all, I have viewed the
dismal situation and it is ours, as the Great British Poet once said.
The boyfriend's name is Oliver, which is sometimes another name for John
Thomas (or, in America, Johnson or more informally Dick), and so this
reminds me of another story that I heard back in the 70's. A man and a
woman went on their honeymoon - in Wales, I think. After several hours
of what the man considered to be a most excellent First Night Experience
with his virgin bride, she went to the bathroom - I forget what the
British call it - you know, the crapper. Anyway, the man looks over the
newspaper for something to do the next day, and he comes across an
interesting movie. So he shouts, "Would you like to see "Oliver Twist,"
Luv?" The wife replies, "You do one more trick with that bloody thing,
and I'm going home to my Mum." {By Jove, I think I got it!}
Anyway, Oliver develops an infirmity (the blood suddenly rushes to his
thing), and the young lady has to give him first aid. She quickly
becomes so good at first aid that the boys are pretty much lining up to
be serviced.
This is an excellent story - both sexy and humorous.
Before I end this review, I'd like to say just one more thing about
British speech, which gets especially awkward when they ride bicycles.
For example, I picked up this anecdote on another newsgroup:
I was walking down the street with my wife the other day when we saw our
neighbor (a very genial Jamaican bloke) riding by on his bike. Suddenly
the bike flips and our poor neighbor finds himself spread eagled on the
pavement.
My wife immediately said: "That black bloke's bike's back brake block
broke."
British people can actually SAY things like that! Just imagine if the
Jamaican bloke would have been a bleached blond!
Ratings for "Sucker"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Sucker, chapters 2 and 3" by BronwenSM (bronwenSM@aol.com).
Guest review by Mat Twassel.
If you missed BronwenSM's "Sucker" a few months ago, don't make
the same mistake this go 'round. It was Celeste's Best of the
Month when it first appeared, and it's gotten even better thanks
to two subsequent chapters, "Oh, Bugger," in which the now lovely
Kim-but-Dim learns about bottom fucks, and "Revelations," in which
Kim comes to discover passion's promises and rewards. Rollicking
good-spirited fun! I hope this is not the ultimate climax.
In Chapter I, if you remember, 17 year old Kim, suddenly big-
breasted and incredibly beautiful, falls for some well-to-do boy's
line that if she doesn't relieve his sexual urge the clotted blood
will burst his brain... or something like that. Desperately
afraid of babies, Kim uses her hands, and then her mouth, and
finds she's good at it, and likes it, and is suddenly oh-so-
popular! The girls don't like her much, but one can't have
everything.
In Chapter II, Kim tells us over lunch about her daddy's fall
from power and rise to riches, which leads to Mummy's brush with
polo and Kim's sudden education in anal sex at the hands and
etcetera of Eddie the Greek. All along, Kim's narrational voice
is rich with unintentional naughty puns and outrageous innocence.
I don't really know how to take her, but she's deliciously sexy
and so is the writing:
So I was kneeling as if I was worshipping
the sofa and thinking all these jumbled thoughts
when all of a sudden I felt this presence at my
arse. He was sort of looming - I could feel him
rubbing the soft hot purply end of his dick up
and down between my arse cheeks like a warm plum.
His movements were slow and lingering, stopping
completely for a moment every time he touched
the actual hole itself.
It was nice. It was very nice. I could actually
feel my bum hole sort of yearning. It was trying
to open outwards. And then he very gently pushed
the round hot tip of his cock into my bum. I gasped
and tried to relax, but I was grateful when he
withdrew a little to let me adjust. It was a very
sexy feeling, but a bit tense-making. I focused on
letting him in, and maybe it would have all gone
smoothly if he hadn't got impatient.
I particularly like the "soft hot purply end": isn't it neat that
the cock has color in Kim's mind even when it's out of sight?
BronwenSm consistently amazes us with words--ordinary, rich,
sometimes unexpected, always just right.
Greek Eddie is, it turns out, a phony as well as a cad: after his
most promising beginning he abuses Kim almost brutally, but for
some reason Kim continues to let him use her bottom all through
chapter two.
Good old Uncle Barn, a college chum of Kim's dad, comes to the
rescue in Chapter III. The ending, though not "exactly" Pride and
Prejudicy, is certainly juicy.
Reservations? Minor stuff, mostly. Chapter I, on its own, is
awfully top-heavy--too much repetition concerning Kim's physical
development and not enough development of character or plot... but
with length this awkwardness smoothes out some. Similarly, we do
seem to learn more about Kim's dad than the plot demands--maybe
some of him appears more for word play and marginal satire than
anything else. Much as I enjoy Kim's language, sometimes she talks
too much instead of giving us scenes. And the rendering of
action, often flowingly poetic--consider the passage above--
doesn't always reveal as much as it might: we learn what Kim
thinks about getting fucked in the ass, for example, but we don't
feel it with that deep intensity offered at onset.
I wonder whether we really need that lunch to get us through
chapter two... It's slightly confusing and serves no great
purpose, as far as I can see. And finally, the narrator changes
at the end of Chapter III--Kim could have handled the final scene
just as well or better on her own. In short, there may be a few
small structural issues and flaws, and maybe when this is all
done, these will be mended. But Celeste, you're gonna hafta read
this story: certainly it'll be a strong contender for best of the
month.
Ratings for "Sucker" {Added by Celeste}
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10