Celestial Reviews 248 - January 10, 1998
Note: I have received a couple of private emails in the past month or so
in which authors were pretty upset at me or my guest reviewers for
writing what they perceived to be negative reviews of their stories.
First, let me point out that I think I and anyone else have a right to
review any story we want to review. If you don't want someone to react
publicly to your stories, then don't post them publicly. I can't
imagine why a person would post a story in a public place unless he/she
were aware that someone might dislike it and might say so. I know that I
myself dislike it when an intelligent person says my use of the English
language is "execrable," but I certainly feel that the person has the
right to say that about me once I have "gone public" with my writing.
In general, once I read a story all the way through, I am going to write
a review of it. The only exceptions occur when I say to myself, "This
just isn't worth writing about." If it was a bad story, I think it is
appropriate to say so, rather than to decide that I won't review the
story because it was bad. I encourage my guest reviewers to take a
similar stance.
Having said that, I should add that I do NOT go out of my way to find
stories that will give me an opportunity to put someone down. If a
story looks illiterate, I tend to skip it. However, if an author sends
me a story that appears badly written but asks me to review it, I'll go
ahead and review it and possibly post a negative review. I have been
amazed at how many authors send me a weak story, get a bad review, and
then send me a near masterpiece the next time.
I try to be constructive or at least polite in my criticisms. However,
my main goal is usually to entertain my readers and to help them find
good stories, and I'm told that I do a good job at this.
I view a lot of the authors as my personal friends, and I often feel
guilty when I give them a "low" rating. To take an example, I have
given Kim straight tens on her last three or four stories. I'm afraid
it's going to be traumatic for me to give her a non-10; but in all
honesty I may have to do that some day. She and I will just have to
handle that, I guess.
I think I personally am better at polite and constructive criticism than
are some of my guest reviewers - but I don't want any of them to quit
because of this paragraph. Occasionally a guest reviewer seems tempted
to want to post a "perfect put-down." I try to discourage that.
Sometimes I may fail, and I suppose excessive negativity from my guest
reviewers is my responsibility, since I sign my name to each issue of
Celestial Reviews. On the other hand, I hasten to add that I think my
reviewers do an excellent job almost all the time - except that they
seem to shout for glee whenever they find an aureole where an areola
should be. {Of course, that problem is more serious for preachers who
put areolae where aureoles should be.}
I want to conclude by pointing out that I get criticized far, far more
often for writing reviews that are "too nice" than for being too
negative. Also, please keep in mind that sometimes either I or a guest
reviewer may be kidding when we make a critical comment.
I apologize to those I have offended and hope I can do a better job of
writing these reviews in the spirit in which they were intended.
Second note: FOOD FOR THOUGHT: If a student in a sex education class
becomes pregnant, should the teacher flunk her or give her extra
credit?
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews
for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"The Choice" by The SandMan (menage a quatre) 9, 9, 9
"Coming in Last" by Sven the Elder (romance at sea) 10, 10, 10
"Two on One" by Mark Aster (threesome) 10, 10, 10
"Jealousy" by Friar Dave (bestiality) 10, 10, 10
"Helen and I" by the Panda (romance) 10, 8, 8
"Mind Games" by Uther Pendragon (odd exhibitionism) 10, 10, 10
"Celestial Refuse" by Mat Twassel (humor)
Guest Reviews:
"Cyndi's Letter" by David L (exhibitionistic MFMF sex) 9, 7, 6.5
"John's Dilemmas" by Drifter (reformed nympho turns faithful
swinger) 8, 8, 9
"The Facilitator" by MD James (sci fi sex) 8.5, 8.5, 8
"Norma's Wish" by S. Leigh Farmer (magic) 9, 8, 6
"Me & My Cop" by Teri S (sex with cop) 9, 10, 8
Reposted Reviews:
* "A Summer Romance" by Jim Fix (emerging adolescence)
10, 10, 10
* "Woman2Woman" by Candy Kane (ff seduction) 9.27A
* "Ellen" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (emerging sexuality)
9.5, 10, 10
* "Journey to Carlin" by Remmelt de Haan (fantasy sex) 10, 10, 10
* "Kevin" by Friar Dave (emerging sexuality) 10, 10, 10
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
"The Choice" by The SandMan (sandman@bitsmart.com). The night the guy
is going to pop the question to the woman of his dreams, she announces
to him over a romantic dinner that "it's only fair that I tell you that
I'm bisexual and in a relationship." Oh, well - ya win a few and you
lose a few. Either that or adapt. Actually, Sandra is already in a
menage a trois, and Dan has to learn to accept the whole package or take
a menage a un in a cold shower.
The hard part for Dan (as well as for many male readers) is that when a
menage a trois becomes a menage a quatre, each person can team up for
one-on-ones with three other partners, and only two of these pairings
are heterosexual. {Of course, not all pairings are one-on-one.} This
throws Dan for a loop; but after he confers with his local bartender, he
decides to grin and bare it. And so Dan learns not only to accept but
even to enjoy MM as well as MF sex. And they all live happily ever
after.
Aside from some minor punctuation problems, the main stylistic problem
with this story is the misuse of homonyms - the use of wrong words that
sound like the desired words, as "fair" for "fare" and "principals" for
"principles."
Ratings for "The Choice"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Coming in Last" by Sven the Elder (sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk).
Nobody loves a loser. That's not quite true. When Sven the Younger
comes in last in a boat race, Kate licks his wounds, if you know what I
mean. Sven takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'. I'd have trouble
doing this. When I'm in a boat, I hardly know leeward from windward,
fore from aft, stem from stern, or my ass from a hole in the boat.
I'm sure there are nautical terms for this naughty behavior. As I see
it, this appears to be a nautical "tortoise and hare" story. The moral
is, if you fuck around too much, you'll lose the race. Year after year
after year, until someone gets suspicious.
This was a very nice story!
Ratings for "Coming in Last"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Jealousy" by Friar Dave (friar_dave@mhbbs.com). It's difficult for me
to imagine a bestiality story that I might enjoy. It's also difficult
for me to imagine a Friar Dave story that I might not enjoy. So I
approached this story with what my old psych prof called an approach-
avoidance conflict, I think.
Friar Dave won.
Friar Dave describes Inez as a beautiful, powerful argument for the
colorblind miscegenation of her native Venezuela, with her ochre-
highlighted hair, her glowing, swarthy complexion and her lush lips and
big brown eyes. Inez develops a warm relationship with the narrator,
but one without sex. He finds out why when he stumbles across a tape of
Inez doing it with animals. It's really hot stuff, especially when they
watch the old tapes together.
This story is extremely well written. I especially like the way this
author builds up the sexual tension with Inez by talking about his
previous sexual relationships.
Ratings for "Jealousy"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Helen and I" by the Panda (the_panda@hotmail.com). The narrator was
deeply in love with his wife, but she was in an accident that has left
her comatose. After several months of misery, her mother advises him
that what he really needs to do is get laid. Enter Helen. At this
point, I say to myself, if the narrator develops a deep and lasting
relationship with Helen and then Maggie comes out of her coma, we'll
have the basis of an American soap opera here. Actually, too many soaps
have already used that plot. To be original the mother-in-law would
have to step in and say, "Hey! I meant get laid by ME!"
Back to Helen. Our narrator comes in his pants when he meets her in the
parking lot. Literally. Which is fortunate, because that release
enables Jim to last for more than 30 seconds when Helen greets him
dressed in a sexy black negligee later that evening. That is, Helen is
dressed in the negligee - English teachers have to be careful about how
we say things like that. Anyway, they fuck like rabbits all night long
and then go out to breakfast to learn something about each other.
And so it goes. This started out as a very hot, darned good story. But
then the author started going in too many directions - kinky stuff for
the sake of kinky stuff. In the preceding story, Friar Dave both
shocked and titilated me; this author seems to be trying too hard to
accomplish a similar effect. The trick is to make it seem natural; and
one important aspect of that is knowing when to stop bringing in new
stuff.
The story is not yet finished. I loved the first five chapters and then
tolerated the next six. Which is where it ends right now.
Ratings for "Helen and I"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Two on One" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).
"Jake and Tanya have been fucking, and Jake has fallen asleep, while
Tanya has continued to play with herself, when Our Hero rings the bell
and enters the apartment. He promptly takes off his clothes and begins
foreplay of his own with Tanya. "Mrmmph," says Jake, who wakes up and
joins the fun. Hence the title.
An interesting element of this story is that Our Hero is instructed to
fondle Jake's cock while Tanya fondles his to orgasm. This sounds
pretty sexy to me, but I'm sure some males will be turned off simply by
my mention of this activity. My advice is, try it (the story, that is),
you might like it.
It gets kinda old to have me try to summarize in succinct but prosaic
words what the author describes much more poetically. So I suggest you
take a look at it yourself.
Ratings for "Two on One"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Mind Games" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net). This is one of
those really good stories that I can't tell you anything about. The
best I can do is give you a related anecdote. Back when my husband and
I had been married for two years and I was heavily pregnant with our
first daughter, we went to a wedding. I introduced him to two sweet,
religious, elderly ladies who know me from long ago. One of them
politely commented that it had been a lovely wedding. My husband
replied, "Yes. I hope ours goes as well next month." The expression on
the ladies' faces as they glanced at each other and tried to avoid my
gravida stomach was priceless.
This story is sort of like that, but with strangers on elevators. And
with an unusual twist at the end.
This would have been an excellent entry for my 500-word story contest,
except that it has 802 words.
The main problem with this story is the title. At the top of the title
page, the title is "Friday." In the Postings, however, the title is
"Mind Games." Since you'll never find it if you look under "Friday," I
have chosen to label it "Mind Games" for this review.
Don't do this with strangers - the part about sheep, that is. The
elevator part is perfectly OK with strangers. It can enliven elevator
rides. As well as what comes later.
Ratings for "Mind Games"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Celestial Refuse" by Mat Twassel (humor). This is an excellent satire
of Celestial Reviews. It requires no further introduction or comment.
"Cyndi's Letter" by David L (dhl@elena.sysun.com). Guest review by
Morgan Preece.
Read the disclaimer for this one. David says he wrote this about ten
years ago as a sort of "Penthouse Forum" type piece. He also apologizes
for what is obvious; the use of a female POV by a male writer. He also
explains that this is not a character development story, just a sex
party. The disclaimer is a pretty good author-authored review of the
story. But still, I guess I'm supposed to do my part.
Well, the writing is competent, the voice of the narrator is consistent
except when cliches I think of as "Forum-ese" creep in. A very hot
skinny-dip party between four college students is described in colorful
detail. Including an MFM scene that may have arrived too late in the
story for me to really appreciate it.
I guess that is my -- uh -- meanest -- comment about this. It failed to
hold my interest. To be honest I skimmed large parts doing the old speed
reading stunt around 400 wpm. Sorry, David.
If you like exhibitionistic MFMF sex, check this out. Character
development is not nil, the narrator finds out things about herself and
her friends, but the story is basically one long sex scene. That's the
genre, PF Letter, can't fault the author for sticking to genre
conventions. It would be like complaining about the lack of cowboys in a
hard-boiled detective tale.
ATHENA: 9 {Genre conventions are respected but nothing outstanding
is accomplished. The use of purple cliches annoyed me but it is
part of this standard of writing.}
VENUS: 7+ {Genre again. But this is the most important category to
me so I graded tough. The plus is for effort, since I felt the
author
tried to put in more character}
MORGAN: 6.5 (8?) {The second number is my estimate of the appeal
to persons who favor this genre. Really, this is well written
stuff
of it's kind and if you like this kind of stuff then you will
probably like this one.}
"John's Dilemmas" by Drifter. Guest Review by DG.
This story utilizes some of the most stereotypical, but powerful,
fantasies that men and women have about relationships. John, the
narrator, is a computer nerd with no social life who is about to
graduate from college and take a high paying job. Sue is an 18-year-old
vixen who loves cock, and runs around with the wrong sort of men. One
night Sue's boyfriend and three of his buddies team up on her in a semi-
consensual gang-bang, and then throw her out of the car in the middle of
the street, saying that they are tired of her. John happens to be
walking by, and he offers help and consolation.
Sue soon realizes, naturally, that she would be much better off with a
smart, sweet, kind guy like John than with her usual boyfriends, who she
apparently picks up in biker bars and outside the parole office. There
is just one problem: Sue isn't sure she can give up on sleeping around
- she just craves cock too much.
The first half of the story brings Sue and John together as a couple,
and the second half deals with their decision to begin swinging. While
swinging appeals to both of them, they each have their concerns. Sue is
afraid that she will enjoy fucking around too much and will anger John,
and John is bi-curious but afraid that if he sleeps with a guy Sue will
think less of him as a man.
I enjoyed this story quite a bit. It attempt to deals with issues such
as relationships and swinging seriously, looking at both the positive
and negative aspects. This has the effect of making the sex much hotter
and more stimulating, because the reader knows that the characters have
an emotional investment.
However, the story is hampered by some heavy-handed plot twists and by
truly stilted dialogue. For example, near the beginning of the story
the author informs us that "John was a good guy, kind to people and
animals."
And I found the following plot twist a bit much: after John tells Sue a
bit about his studies in computer science, the eighteen-year-old
oversexed girl says "I'm fascinated by two things John. One is
computer science and the other is sex. Since sex got me in such hot
water I need to rethink that but I love computers."
It seemed like whenever I started getting into the story, I would run
across a line of dialogue so clunky that it ruined the mood. Usually it
would be Sue, who says touching things like "My darling man... that
could not happen. If I fucked a thousand guys, a thousand hunky studs,
none of them could start to replace you."
This author has a talent for creating realistic characters and
situations. However, that is only half the battle. To write a truly
good story, he will have to avoid unrealistic plot twists and to greatly
improve his dialogue. I don't want to sound too negative, though: the
bottom line is that this story is worth a read as it is.
Ratings for "John's Dilemmas"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
DG (appeal to reviewer): 9
"The Facilitator" by MD James. Guest review by Jake Stonebender.
All characters are adults and completely fictional. That means they
don't exist in the real world! If you have a hard time understanding
that, you shouldn't be on the Internet! You should be playing solitaire
on Microsoft Bob instead.
If Bob's even around anymore. :-) If he _is_, he wouldn't know _what_
to do with this story. By the time you're done reading this story, you
will have no doubt in your mind that the characters are completely
fictional, and I don't think I'm ruining the plot by revealing that this
is because they are space aliens. One of them is, anyway...
The first-person narrator of this story, whose 'type' we read quite
easily through the way he phrases things, is a "facilitator"... someone
whom people call when they want to set up dinner parties "...with
delicacies that are illegal on fifteen planets or to have stuffed and
mounted heads of exotic and endangered animals in their family rooms."
That right there ought to tell you where this story is going.
And it does so, with style, flair, and only the occasional typo.
It seems to have become a slight tradition that the stories Celeste
sends me to guest-review are the offbeat ones, and this is no exception.
Our narrator tells us, this time out, of the desire of one of his "young
prick" clients to experience sex with a Xena, a member of a cloistered,
all-female race found on -- and confined by "TerraGov" to -- a plant in
a nearby solar system. The facilitator tells us of his warnings to his
customer about the Black Widow legends surrounding the inhabitants of
Xena, but the client doesn't care; he's got, simply _got_ to fuck one
them.
"OK," says the facilitator, "but afterwards, you _have_ to wait a few
hours." "Why?" "I can't tell you."
The "young prick", of course, cannot control himself, and the results...
well, let's say the results justify the warning he ignored.
A pretty damned decent erotic science fiction piece is the result.
Not exactly the _hottest_ story I've seen on the net lately, but not
bad, and -- except for Anne747 -- most of us aren't grading on the wet-
panty scale. (Love you, hon. :-)
Check this one out, and perhaps you'll join me in waiting to see if the
Facilitator has anything else up his sleeve. Writing one twist story
like this is hard enough -- writing more in the same general fiction is
6 times as hard, but I suspect this author just might make it.
(Administrivia: Celeste made comment over Christmas concerning the fact
that her grades are getting higher. I grade harder; keep in mind that
our grades may not be directly comparable.)
Ratings for "The Facilitator"
Athena (technical merit): 8.5 (couple of typos, and these annoyingly
broken apostrophes all over the place)
Venus (plot and character): 8.5 (a little more depth in the prick,
please :-)
Jake (appeal to reviewer): 8 (MKS he ain't, but not too bad.)
"Norma's Wish" by S. Leigh Farmer (alias@pseudo.nym.org). Guest review
by Sven the Elder.
The writer of this story is working on the premise that in the run up to
the millennia wishes *might* become true and that magic *might* be able
to occur. In fact there is a useful paragraph of guidance that explains
the thought process for anyone who might want to contribute to the
genre. The writer also states that this is the only erotic story of the
*set* that she is writing. Now my appetite was whetted. Sadly having
finished the story my appetite remains unasuaged.
The author terms the story as *erotic*; but this is not an adjective I
would apply to this story. In fact I looked up the word in my Chambers
'maxi' paperback dictionary and erotic is defined as: pertaining to
sexual love; amatory; amorous. These are not epithets I would readily
apply to this piece
The story explores the relationship of a man with his wife. How he
returns from a day at the office in a celebratory mood, but then
changes his mind and decides to go play poker with the boys. She then
*persuades* him to make love to her before he goes.... How the story
ends is for you to find out, I will not spoil it for those who like
magical fantasy - but I *do* have difficulty in referring to the story
ending as erotic. Not for the bloke it ain't!! Technically the writing
and quality is good, although the plot and character are not well
developed in the length of this tale. Unfortunately the plot for this
type of fantasy does nothing for me this then is reflected in the final
appeal to reviewer figure. This last figure is of course subjective and
personal to this reviewer.
Ratings for Norma's Wish
Technical quality: 9
Plot & character: 8
Sven (appeal to reviewer): 6
"Me & My Cop" by Teri S (teri44@hotmail.com). Guest review by Kim.
Yet another story to review, courtesy of She of the Execrable English
(private joke, don't worry about it <laugh>).
Hey, another new author wanting to be taken for the first time. I
promise to be as gentle as I can, Teri; although it may hurt at first,
I'm sure I can bring a smile to your face by the end.
One hot, sultry August night our heroine, we never learn her name,
awaits her boyfriend, also unnamed, who has just phoned to say he's got
something to show her. Yeah, I bet he has <smile>.
It turns out he's a cop and he wants to show her his... brand new patrol
car??? Being an accommodating girl she pulls on a few clothes and goes
for a cruise. They drive through town and on into the desert, finally
stopping off down an empty back road away from the highway.
Being romantic sorts, the pair of them climb into the back seat and...
well I think we'll leave them there, don't you?
I really, really liked this story. It was gentle, sweet, romantic and
sexy. I have a few niggles, such as it being way, way too short. Dammit,
I was getting into it and it stopped <pout>. My right hand had only made
its way to the top of my panties when, alas the source of its
inspiration pulled the plug. Please. Teri, write some more; you've left
me kinda hangin' here!
I'm also deeply jealous of our heroine's ability to have an orgasm on a
per thrust basis. Poor girl must have been exhausted <smile>. But that's
it for the bad news.
It even has a surprise and agreeably amusing ending. In short I loved
it; but, Teri, too damn short, darlin'. More of a sensuous kiss than a
full orgasm.
Ratings for "Me & my Cop"
Athena (technical quality): 9 (Nearly perfect, no real complaints,
maybe should get a 10)
Venus (plot & character): 10 (For saying it was so short, it's
remarkably well realized)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 8 (Add three or four more pages and it
would've been a 10)
* "A Summer Romance" by Jim Fix (jimfix@earthlink.net). This was
actually posted as two separate stories: "A Summer Romance Part 1" and
"Summer Romance Revisited." I shall review these as a single story, and
I advise you to read both parts together.
Paul (a bright student going into his sophomore year in high school) and
his Mom have been living together since her messy divorce from his Dad
two years ago. Paul and his mother have always showed mutual affection,
but during a stay at some relatives' mountain cabin they realize that
their attraction has a physical and sexual component. With his mature
consent, Mom decides to treat Paul as a lover, and their life together
becomes happier. They each contribute to the other's intellectual and
personal growth, as well as to each other's sexual happiness.
The second half of the story moves more rapidly than the first half.
Life changes; Paul goes to college; Mom gets a new job; their love
affair comes to an end; Mom remarries; and Paul falls in love. This is
a very good story.
I think society's general taboo against incest is reasonable; that is,
it makes sense to have an initial reaction that incestuous relations
should be avoided. In general, incestuous relationships are likely to
be coercive and exploitive, even though the participants may be unaware
that something bad is happening. Nevertheless, it also makes sense to
consider the possibility that such relationships could be productive and
growth-producing. This author has gone to great lengths to build a good
story around a set of circumstances in which a mother/son sexual
relationship is not only harmless but also beautiful.
You can skip the rest of this review if moral reasoning doesn't interest
you, but I am going to discuss morality for a few paragraphs. Religions
generally condemn incest, and I (Celeste) am an active participant in
the Catholic religion, whose leaders condemn incest. How do I reconcile
these views? Why don't I either condemn incest or stop being a Catholic
Christian?
The answer lies in proportionalist moral reasoning, which says that when
there is a conflict between moral outcomes or goals, decisions must be
based on proportionate consequences. An action that might objectively
be undesirable (immoral) is permitted only if it leads to benefits
(called values) that outweigh its ill effects (called disvalues). The
Catholic Church and other religions have used this kind of reasoning for
centuries (for example, with regard to the "just war theory") but the
Church leaders are not exactly progressive with regard to sexual
morality.
The main alternative to proportionalist reasoning in the Christian
religions is natural law reasoning. Here's the difference. Assume that
there is a soldier who has his army's secret plans in a pouch attached
to his belt. When he is in danger of being caught, is it morally
permissible for the soldier to ignite an explosive that will destroy the
plans but also kill himself? Moral reasoning based on the natural law
says yes - because the soldier would be destroying the plans directly
and himself only indirectly. In other words, this is not really
suicide. Proportionalist reasoning would also say yes - but because the
value of saving the entire army outweighs the disvalue of the soldier
killing himself. In other words, this is suicide, but it's justified.
Changing the situation slightly, what if the soldier had memorized the
plans instead of having them in a pouch? Can the soldier kill himself
if he suspects that his captors will get the secrets from him? Natural
law reasoning would say no - because he would be killing himself
directly and destroying the secrets only indirectly. This would be
suicide, and nothing can justify suicide. Proportionalist reasoning
would still say yes - again because the value of saving the entire army
outweighs the disvalue of the soldier killing himself. Again, this is
suicide, but it's justified. My opinion is that the natural law
conclusion is just plain goofy.
This proportionalist reasoning is not all that complicated, and it makes
perfect sense. Common sense tells me that it would be unfortunate for
the soldier to be put in either situation, but I don't think he would be
"sinning" in either case if he took his life to save his army. On the
other hand, the soldier should consider other factors - such as how well
he can withstand torture, the likelihood that the enemy will get the
information from someone else, the actual value of the information, etc.
All this information would enter into the soldier's moral reasoning to
determine whether there is a proportional reason for taking his own life
in either case.
Applied to an issue like incest, proportionalism means that we should
weigh the possible values to be gained from incest (such as the
possibility of a mutually fulfilling relationship that is a natural
extension of an existing spontaneous relationship and which would
release two people's tensions while getting them ready for other
relationships) against the disvalues associated with that action (such
as restricting the child from more age-appropriate relationships, giving
birth to children that are likely to have genetic defects, and societal
retribution). In most cases in real life, the disvalues would far
outweigh the values; but in this story the values outweigh the losses.
This reasoning is different from the traditional, more legalistic
approaches, which focuses on whether the action is natural or unnatural
- prohibited by a rule or not prohibited; but this type of reasoning is
neither excessively complex nor illogical.
There is no reason to believe that Jesus would reject proportionalist
reasoning. There IS reason to believe that in most cases in real life
the disvalues will outweigh the values, and so society's general ban on
incestuous activities makes sense - as long the taboo itself does not
introduce more problems than it solves. In terms of moral reasoning,
what this story has done has been to create a situation in which the
values demonstrably outweigh the disvalues.
My personal reasoning is also different from that of hedonism, which
essentially says if it feels good and hurts nobody, go ahead and do it.
Both hedonism and traditional religions offer valid insights into
incestuous behavior; proportionalism offers another angle.
So there! I hope this discussion makes as much sense to you as it does
to me. I do NOT believe that it is necessary that every story describe
purely moral behavior, but I do think it is good occasionally to discuss
a story in its moral context.
Ratings for "A Summer Romance"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Woman2Woman" by Candy Kane (GQKZ45C@prodigy.com). Guest Review by
M1KE Hunt:
"Woman2Woman" is a fun read, zippy and straightforward, with few
distractions to pull you away from the story of the seduction of one
woman by another. Christine and Laura are sales reps at a computer
show, and meet each other while standing on the floor for 10 hours
fending off propositions from men. At one point in the shared cab ride
back to the hotel, Christine, the narrator, asks ""Is getting laid the
only reason these guys come here?" This is one of the few distractions,
because the answer, obviously, is "yes." I've been to computer shows.
The girls retreat to their hotel rooms, wherein Laura offers to give
Christine a massage to relieve her stress. You'll be shocked to find out
that they both end up nude, make gentle love with one another, and spend
the next several days sneaking kisses in the employee lounge, squatting
at the display to show each other their pussies, and generally having a
lovely time.
The plot is not complicated, and it's been done before, but then haven't
they all? "Woman2Woman" suffers only from a half-dozen obvious editing
errors, such as "positioning her bare legs on each side of my." My what?
And there are words that the spell check thought were OK, but a quick
proofreading would have caught, such as "spend" for "spent." OK, it's
niggling, but if I didn't catch at least a couple of grammatical errors,
I wouldn't be doing my job as a reviewer, right?
I give "Woman2Woman" a "9.27A" rating on the open ended "Verschlumpt"
scale, a logarithmic evaluation schedule I've designed based on plot,
sexuality, spelling, taste, today's Dow Jones results and other logical
factors such as whether it's Tuesday or not.
* "Ellen" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (Reposted by who@why.not). Guest
review by BillyG.
I had a brief love affair once. The operative word is brief. We were
both too strong willed and selfish to last, at least with each other.
Her desires were bistable; she either wanted to get laid or she didn't.
There was no middle ground. I'd get amorous and make a move. She'd
most likely rebuff me with a comment such as, "You men are all alike.
Is that all you think about?"
And the answer was yes. That's all I thought about, besides how I might
strangle her and then drop her into the bottomless swamp. Then
something would throw the horny switch and she'd make a move on me. I
NEVER resisted. Not once did I have a headache. I resented the fact
that she could and often did say, "Nothin' doin' dude," while my
response was always some variation of, "Sure, sure, you bet."
The story "Ellen" by Emerson Laken-Palmer depicts a similar nineteen-
year-old boy, Danny who experiences a sexual awakening with his kid
sister, eighteen-year-old Ellen. When Danny wants it, the chances are
good that Ellen will freeze him out. But when she wants it, Danny
doesn't have a chance. I know what that's like; I've been there.
"Ellen" is a good story. The characters are human and more, they're
real. They're both buffeted about by their desires and later, by their
guilt. Danny's first person account tells of his intermittent resolve
to NOT be sexual with his kid sister. She's sweet and innocent (he
would rather believe) and he thinks of himself as single-minded ogre.
There are a couple of very sexy scenes and a couple of pregnancy scares,
all of which lend a heightened reality to this story. It's told as a
short chapter in their lives, soon over and never to be repeated.
The writer's name, Emerson Laken-Palmer sounds like a musical trio. It
reminds me of mishearing the name of a popular duo some years ago. For
a long time I thought the group was called "Haulin' Oats."
Grades: 9.5, 10, 10 A half point off for a few spelling errors and a
couple of minor grammatical goofs.
* "Journey to Carlin" by Remmelt de Haan (zarn@rc.service.rug.nl).
Guest review by Mark Aster.
This is a nice, hot, tender story of sex between friends in the
outdoors, set in a sort of generic pagan-medieval-dungeons-and-dragons
fantasy world. The author's forward implies that this is just one
episode in a longer story, or set of stories, not necessarily involving
sex. There are a few references to characters and events that took
place before the present story; while they are only passing references,
and may annoy readers who like all their loose ends tied up, they add
richness and a sense of context to the present story.
Abigail and Ukko are on the way to Carlin, and they stop by a lake to
rest the horses and eat and make camp for the night. Abigail strips and
goes for a swim, and invites Ukko to join her. This is not just a story
about two people fucking. The two are comrades and colleagues and
friends, but have never made love before; the author gives us Ukko's
point of view as he gradually realizes that she is interested in
extending their relationship in that direction, and by the time they're
screwing wildly on the blanket, 150 lines into the story, we've gotten
to know them rather well. The author uses various stock devices of
fantasy fiction (horses, crossbows, armor, names of deities), and adds
some interesting sex language: orgasm is "joining the stars" or
"leaving" (as opposed to "coming"!), sexual positions have names like
"the Crane" and "the Faceless Unicorn", and simultaneous orgasm is a
"Lover's Journey". Something like that, anyway. If you hate and
despite generic fantasy fiction, this may bother you; if you love it,
you'll love this. If you're not sure, give it a try; nice hot sex isn't
a bad way to be introduced to a genre!
I don't do numbers, but I'd guess that Celeste would give this straight
10's, unless she doesn't like quasi-medieval fantasy, in which case it
might lose a point or so on the Celeste rating...
Ratings for "Journey to Carlin" (Added by Celeste)
Technical quality: 10
Plot and character: 10
Appeal to reviewer: 10
* "Kevin" by Friar Dave (friar.dave@teamhbbs.com). Kevin is a 16-year-
old boy with raging hormones, who has the hots for the lady next door -
along with anything else with breasts and a cute butt. His almost-
twelve-year-old little sister asks him some questions about sex, and
Kevin gives her a basic course in sex education:
"Wow. So a guy sees a woman with big boobs -- like Mrs. Howley or Carol
-- and he gets a boner, and then he sticks it in the girl's... place...
and shoots his semen in her, and then she gets pregnant and has a baby."
She seemed amazed.
"Basically, but not all the time. She's got to be fertile. She has to be
menstruating and at the right time of the month."
Sari nodded emphatically. "Some of the girls in my glass have monthlies.
That's what they call them. So they could get pregnant?"
The best parts of the story arise from the conversations between the
brother and sister. Pretty quickly Sari discovers that she has power
over Kevin's penis, and soon they begin experimenting. They learn to
like it and spend many pleasant hours together as they grow up.
First, let me point out that this is a really good story. There are
good reasons why society (and parents) balk at incest. There really are
genetic problems that are vastly more likely to occur when brothers and
sisters have babies together, and so incest taboos have their point.
However, this story seemed more like healthy sexual experimentation
rather than incestuous behavior. (I would have been happier if this
well educated young man would have slid a condom onto his penis before
he inserted it into his sister. Getting pregnant by your father or
brother or close cousin is a really bad idea.)
Secondly (and much less seriously), I have some concerns about the
realism of Kevin's bobbing cock. I think I am an attractive woman, and
I teach boys in Kevin's age group. I don't doubt that they make sexy
remarks about me in private and that they may even jack off while they
fantasize about me. But unless I've gone blind (perhaps from
masturbating) they don't get raging hard-ons when I talk to them. Even
if I assume that I have excessively grandiose opinions of my own beauty,
I know other teachers and girls who are certainly attractive, and the
guys (including most of the faculty) manage to engage in social
intercourse with them without excessive perturbations in their loins.
My husband (a veritable stud) is definitely capable of talking to
attractive women without getting a hard-on. I asked him about this, and
he assures me that this is because I "take such good care of him." (And
he says he appreciates this service very much.) I asked him if when he
was 16 he could talk to sexy teachers without going into heat. He said
he could; but then he added that he didn't have me for a teacher! I
guess my point is that we're engaging in a little bit of exaggeration in
this story - and in many of the other a.s.s. stories. I think we need
to keep that in mind when we consider a story like this to be "natural"
and "beautiful."
Finally, near the end of the story the author himself gives a good
reason why big brothers should not have sex with their cute little
sisters in real life: once you start having hot sex, it's hard to stop.
And there's all kinds of evidence that little girls who spend their time
humping little boys don't do as well in school or have adult lives and
families that are as happy as those of their peers who approach sexual
intimacy with a little more restraint. I'm not making this up; ask a
social worker or school counselor. These are not objections to the
story - just comments about its implications in real life. It's an
excellent story.
Ratings for "Kevin"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10