Celestial Reviews 152 - January 25, 1997
Note: I have been unable to post this issue correctly. I think (but am
not certain) that AOL is at fault. Since AOL's e-mail still works, I am
going to send this issue and theprevious one to another person, who will
try to post it. Correspondence should still come to me at
Celeste801@aol.com.)
Second Note: The people who write these stories get no compensation for
their efforts other than occasional reactions from their readers.
Please consider taking a few moments to write a note to the author of a
favorite story. Authors appreciate constructive criticism.
- Celeste
"Virtual Reality" by Rajah Dodger (virtual reality sex)
10, 8, 8
"The Blow Job" by The Hawk (oral sex) 8, 6, 8
"Shannon's First" by Ainne Pierce (anal sex) 8, 7, 10
"Together At Last" by The Husband (threesome) 4, 4, 4
"Perfect Match" by Dafney Dewitt (seduction) 10, 9.5, 9.5
"Watching - Book 2" by Alan Mathews (romance)
10, 10, 10
"Five Stops" by Radiance (sex on a subway train) 10, 10, 10
"Outlaws" by Southern Belle (gang-rape) 9, 9, 9
"Submissive First Date" by Luke7557 (submissiveness) 9, 7, 7
"The Light In Mother's Window" P. D. Michael (exhibitionism)
10, 10, 10
"Heaven or Hell?" by Caesar (sexual satiation) 8, 10, 10
"Spam Revenge" by SpamEater (sexual revenge) 8, 10, 10
* "Holly" by Dirty Dawg and Tristmegistis (Action adventure)
10, 9, 9
* = Repost of a previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted).
"Virtual Reality" by Rajah Dodger (rdodger@mailmasher.com). Carol
signs herself and her boyfriend up for a sexual virtual reality
experience. The story is currently incomplete. It consists of
separate descriptions of what happens to Ken and to Carol. It's
difficult to tell when reality ends and fantasy begins, but that's
the idea. Important ideas are undeveloped, but that's because the
story is incomplete. I suppose the author wouldn't mind if you
sent him ideas or even developed your own plots along the same
lines. It's a creative train of thought.
Ratings for "Virtual Reality"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"The Blow Job" by The Hawk (trekat@theriver.com) The guy has been
lobbying for a blowjob, but his girlfriend finds the very thought
to be disgusting. Finally she gives in, enjoys it, and makes him
eat her pussy. She's a quick convert and becomes an enthusiast.
Ratings for "The Blow Job"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Shannon's First" by Ainne Pierce (isitme@pond.net). {For some reason
this story was labeled simply "A Love Story" in the postings.} The guy
meets the girl in the swimming pool and immediately falls in love with
her perfect ass. They hit it off, and he eventually has anal sex with
her. The anal sex is very well done, but the overall style drags a
little. Some revision of the grammar and style and an improvement in
the intensity of the plot would turn this into a really excellent story.
Ratings for "Shannon's First"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Together At Last" by The Husband (gregsr@en.com). This is an episode
from "Sue's Intimate Library," which apparently describes the amorous
adventures of the narrator with her husband and several other lovers.
This episode did not inspire me with an impulse to download all the
others. It is badly written and disjointed. The sexual scenes have the
potential to be hot, but as far as I can understand, this potential is
unfulfilled.
Ratings for "Together At Last"
Athena (technical quality): 4
Venus (plot & character): 4
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4
"Perfect Match" by Dafney Dewitt (ii361@cleveland.Freenet.Edu). The
attractive woman in the bookstore says to Fuller, "Excuse me. Could you
scratch my back?" Fuller scratches, but he realizes this is a come-on.
His suspicions that Donna is trying to pick him up are confirmed when
she glances at her watch and informs him that he has exactly one hour to
lay her. Fuller is eternally polite; but he is in love with (and engaged
to) another woman; however, he also has an insatiable appetite for
illicit adventures. Donna, on the other hand, has never been turned
down when she has played this game. They stop at a fraternity party;
Fuller tries to resist the temptation; Donna turns up the pressure.
What will happen? Read the story and find out why this is called
"Perfect Match"!
Ratings for "Perfect Match"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5
"Watching - Book 2" by Alan Mathews (alanmath@hotmail.com). This
story is a sequel to "Watching," which I ranked number 16 among my
Top 100 stories of 1996. You probably should read the original
(Book 1) first - if only because it's enjoyable and was reposted at
the same time as this sequel; but Chapter 1 of the present Book
provides a good recap of Book 1.
This story takes up the adventures of the very young couple and
their baby as they return to their old hometown. They encounter
some new problems, overcome some obstacles, grow closer together as
a family, and have some great sex.
Skyla is only two years old and is becoming interested in what
mommy and daddy do in bed together, and the parents do an exemplary
job of answering her questions in a way suited to her developmental
level without introducing her prematurely to the rites of Venus.
However, I believe some of the ideas that the author puts into
Skyla's head would be much more realistic if she were, say, two or
three years older. {I might also point out that there are almost
certainly no two-year-olds in the real world who win at Monopoly
against intelligent twelve-year-olds who are making a serious
effort.}
The scene in which Alex deflowers his young sister-in-law with Jenny's
consent is best described as Pollyanna with an Attitude. But it's sexy
stuff.
The author consistently makes an interesting grammatical mistake. He
uses "I" in situations that call for the objective case. Sportscasters
do this all the time, but a.s.s. authors are supposed to be above that
sort of thing. The easy way to deal with this problem is simply to
mentally restate the sentence without the compound phrase.
It's incorrect to use "me" as the SUBJECT of a sentence, and so it is
WRONG to say, "Bill and me went out looking for some action." {Omit the
compound subject. You would never say, "Me went out looking for some
action."}
On the other hand, it is correct to use "me" (and incorrect to use "I")
as the OBJECT of a sentence or as the object of a preposition.
Therefore, it would be WRONG to say, "John invited Sue and I over to his
house for a quick threesome." {Omit the compound phrase. You would never
say, " John invited I (or we) over to his house for a quick threesome."}
It's that simple. I think the reason people make this mistake is
because using "me" as part of the compound subject is the error that
they make (and for which they get corrected) earlier in life; and so
they overreact by saying "I" even in situations where "me" would be
appropriate.
Ratings for " Watching - Book 2"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Five Stops" by Radiance (radiance@inforamp.net). I enjoy the
thrill of semi-public sex. I have no imminent urge to take off my
clothes and run naked down a crowded street, nor do I ever plan to
be gang-banged in a striptease joint. But I do enjoy it when my
husband comes on to me (or onto me!) and arouses me when there are
other people around - or when I do the same to him - or when we
have sex in a place where someone else could discover us. I think
it's partly the danger of being caught, partly the secret I share
with my partner, and partly the combination of innocence and lust
that blend together when we do this. It's also just plain fun to
tease each other in this way.
In the present story the narrator and Karen have carefully timed
the number of seconds between stops near the end of a subway line
and have planned a sexual escapade on the nearly empty subway car.
The sexual action gets very hot, as the narrator brings Karen to
orgasm on the speeding train, while they try to avoid detection.
Near the middle of the story, I realized that I could not tell
whether the narrator was a man or a woman. I'll let you read the
story and decide for yourself. The author does a good job of
maintaining the tension that is an important part of this kind of
sexual adventure.
Ratings for "Five Stops"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Outlaws" by Southern Belle. Judging by the way it was formatted I
didn't expect much from this story from the Red Dragon's archives;
but it was surprisingly well written. A group of southern ladies
are gathered around the swimming hole while the menfolk are out
chasing escaped convicts. The cons sneak up on the ladies and have
their way with them. This one probably won't make my Top 100 list,
but it's not a bad story.
Ratings for "Outlaws"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Submissive First Date" by Luke7557 (Luke7557@aol.com). This story
describes what the title says: a submissive first date. The woman does
exactly what the guy demands of her, and they both derive great sexual
pleasure from the evening's events. I have trouble with these second
person ("you") narratives. It seems arrogant to me for an author to
assume that the reader is able to identify with the person being
addressed as "you," which is what this format requires. It is POSSIBLE
to carry it off, but very difficult. The usual impression (and this
happened for me in this case) is that readers feel they are reading a
story addressed to someone else that they have been allowed to see. I
would prefer a format that enabled me to feel that I was SUPPOSED to be
reading the story. With the "you" format, any male or any female who
does not particularly enjoy being submissive herself is automatically
excluded from the immediate audience.
Aside from the preceding shortcoming, it's really a pretty sexy story -
at least if you think it's sexy to give or follow directions real
carefully in order to achieve orgasms.
Ratings for "Submissive First Date"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"The Light In Mother's Window" P. D. Michael (pdmm@interlog.com). Back
in the 1940s the kids used to hang out after dark and look through
windows to see who was getting naked and who was getting screwed. A
primary gathering place was outside the window of the narrator's mother.
Even the narrator himself used to spend hours outside Mom's window,
watching her play with herself or with someone else. Mom was a virtuoso,
but that doesn't mean she was a virtuous woman.
Times have changed. Back then, people didn't have air conditioning; and
so they left their windows open, and the kids had something to look at.
Nowadays, we have air conditioning, and most people close their windows
and their curtains; but kids have dirty videotapes and sex on the
Internet. Maybe that's what's wrong with the baby-boomers! They grew
up after air conditioning but before vicarious sex had become easily
abundant.
Ratings for "The Light In Mother's Window"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Heaven or Hell?" by Caesar (caesar@bigrock.com). This is a
fiendishly clever story. Literally - I guess! The man dies and
goes to the afterlife, where he is given a choice: what would he
like to do for all eternity. He replies that he'd like to spend
eternity fucking. Poof! His wish is granted. He engages in wild
sexual activities, including previously taboo actions with his
wife, a former secretary, and his teenage children. All this taboo
sex is very sexy. The man gets everything he wants - and more.
There's the catch - and more! Is this heaven, or is this hell?
The grammar mistakes are abundant but not onerous - mostly things like
omitted apostrophes, confused verb tenses, and misused homonyms. It
would be nice if the author or a proofreader would clean these up, but
my advice is to ignore them and just follow the flow of the story. It's
really very good.
Ratings for "Heaven or Hell?"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Spam Revenge" by SpamEater (dmatthew@ix.netcom.com). Louie is a slimy
pervert who runs ERRORSNET and several other "erotic" Spam systems on
the Internet. He treats his girls so badly that one of them finally
turns him over to SpamEater, a noble crusader who is fed up with spam on
the newsgroups and has offered a $1000 reward for Louie's real address.
SpamEater and his friends arrive at Louie's place of business, and what
they do to him is not pretty. Not pretty, but fun! I normally
disapprove of coercive sodomy; but hey, we're talking about a guy here
who posts all those useless ads in the middle of the story postings on
a.s.s. Nothing is too disgusting for such scrum.
The moral of the story is: if you want to run a sex site on the
Internet, that's fine; but don't spam the newsgroups with your ads. If
you know what's good for you!!
Ratings for "Spam Revenge"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Holly" by Dirty Dawg and Tristmegistis. A while ago Dirty Dawg posted
Part 1 of this but never got around to finishing it. Another author
(listed as Tristmegistis in a previous version that I found, but simply
as Anonymous in the present version) asked permission to 'borrow' his
characters for a continuation story; and hence we have this finished
product.
The plot focuses on two undercover cops who work together and fall in
love with each other. They get assigned to a case involving
prostitution and drugs; and the female partner (Holly) has to do some
unsavory things to make the bust. The plot has a lot of interesting
twists. The only problem with the story is that a lot of it (especially
later in the story) seems to be a mere summary of what went on, rather
than an actual description of events.
One unique feature of this story is that the hero has "only" a six-inch
cock. All the medical and scientific research says that the ole six-
incher works perfectly well; but the average a.s.s dick seems to be in
the ten-inch range. This story deserves a high rating just for its
truth in advertising. Although there are a lot of questions unanswered
at the end of the story, it's still a pretty good action adventure.
Ratings for "Holly"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9