Celestial Reviews 73 - Mar 27, 1996

Note:  I am now using a rating system which gives each story three 
discrete ratings.  These are explained in more detail in my FAQ, but 
here is a summary.

Athena Rating.  This rating covers such matters as grammar, spelling, 
formatting, and creative use of the language.  A story with essentially 
no serious grammar, spelling, or usage problems will receive a rating 
of 8.  To get a rating of 9 or 10, the author will have to do something 
creative with the language.  

Venus Rating.  This rating describes such matters as plot and character 
development.  

Celeste Rating.  This rating describes how much I myself liked the 
story.  

- Celeste

      "We Were Hippies Then" by Longfellow (hippy sex) 9, 6, 6.
      "Forever Faithful" by J Boswell (office romance) 8, 6, 5
      "Dispensation of Grace" by Horangi (voyeurism & romance)
            10, 10, 10
      "My Linda" by Midnight (friendly dominance) 7, 8, 6
      "Rain" by Mark Aster (voyeurism & sex on the beach)
            10, 10, 10
      "Rain" by Damya (romance) 10, 10, 10

"We Were Hippies Then" by Longfellow (barryw@direct.ca).  On a hunch I 
looked up "hippy" in my Groliers Electronic Encyclopedia.  "Word not 
found in encyclopedia."  So hippies were so much a thing of the past 
that they weren't even in the encyclopedia anymore.  On a second hunch 
I tried "hippies".  Still not there, but only because I had mistakenly 
entered "gippies."  Actually, there was a whole section on hippies 
under the "Counterculture" entry.  In a way, it made sense that I could 
find them only in the plural.  I never saw a hippy alone.  They always 
seemed to travel in pairs, like Jehova's witnesses.

According to my encyclopedia, the hippies rejected the traditional family in 
favor of other arrangements based on love.  In practice, a person lived for 
however long he or she wished with whomever they wished, in couples or in 
groups known as communes.  Sexual relations in these groups might occur 
whenever mutual attraction was strong enough.  Hippies made love, not war.  
They strove to live in the present, to "go with the flow," and to "hang 
loose," rather than to be "uptight." 

They were big on psychedelic drugs - especially LSD and marijuana.  The quasi-
religious nature of psychedelic experience led many young people to forms of 
mysticism.  Oriental philosophies, such as yoga, Zen and Tibetan Buddhism, and 
the Chinese I CHING (Book of Changes), were studied, and their more easily 
accessible aspects were absorbed.  Others followed Western occult pursuits, 
such as astrology, tarot, palmistry, and witchcraft.

Hippies preferred to spell their singular "hippie," since the "y" 
version also meant a person with big hips.  Hippies were "hip" in the 
sense that they were "with it."  They were most prevalent in big cities 
- especially San Francisco; but paradoxically they often endorsed rural 
values, even though their rural neighbors often looked askance at their 
countercultural values.  They liked to live in communes on farms and to 
bake their own bread.  Their fashion statement consisted of long hair, 
beads, no bras, and folksy clothing.  The most significant modern 
remnant of the hippies consists of people slightly older than me who 
cuddle on the couch with their lovers and listen to Peter, Paul and 
Mary on public television.

This story is a reminiscence by a former hippy.  Its main theme is two 
couples making love in close proximity.  One of the males is an intense 
guru who mystified and attracted young women.  The introductory 
information that I supplied will actually help you enjoy this story.  
It's actually a pretty good story - just not developed as fully as it 
might have been.  If you read this story and wonder why it doesn't turn 
you on more, the answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind; the answer 
is blowing in the wind.

Ratings for "We Were Hippies Then"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6

"Forever Faithful" by J Boswell.  Holy cow!  Could both Ann Landers and 
Dear Abby be wrong?  Both of those illustrious advisors adamantly 
insist that the "other woman" gets the short end of the stick {so to 
speak}.  But here we have a woman who accepts an invitation to become a 
mistress in exchange for an opportunity for professional advancement.  
She has regular trysts with her gentleman friend three or four times a 
week. They feel quite affectionate towards each other; it's much more 
than just sex, and there's no need for a commitment. He's married, a 
wonderful lover, and safe, having had a vasectomy years ago.  Everyone, 
including the spouses, is happy; and the woman becomes immensely 
successful in the business world!  I don't know - either Ann and Abby 
or the lady in this story must be living in a fantasy world.

Probably the most perverse thing in the affair occurred when the woman 
shared her wedding day with her lover, because she wanted it to be 
special for him, too.  I don't think Ann and Abby have ever dealt with 
that issue; but I'm pretty sure they'd agree it was perverse.  That 
occasion also entailed an example of either a seriously misplaced 
modifier or crossdressing: "Still in my veil, gown and heels, Robert 
threw my dress up over my back and knelt behind me, slowing pushing 
himself into my wet pussy."

After the prenuptial romp, Robert says, "Theresa, I love you all the more for 
this wedding treat you've given me. I've thought about what I want to do and 
decided that I don't want you to be a virgin anywhere in your body tonight."  
Then he fucks her up her ass, in both nostrils, and in both ears.

The story wasn't bad; but it wasn't as hot as many of the better 
stories I've reviewed recently.  It was late when I wrote this review.  
The story had potential, but was dragging; and so I made some of this 
stuff up.  Sorry, Boswell; you've written worse stories, but you've 
also written better.

Ratings for "Forever Faithful"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5

"Dispensation of Grace" by Horangi (an182766@anon.penet.fi).  One of my 
favorite songs is "Amazing Grace."  This is not because I have a 
proclivity for backpipe music, but rather because several years ago I 
had a student named Grace who was very mature for her age.  Because of 
her alluring, seductive behavior and because of the images she conjured 
up in his head, my husband used to call her "Amazing Grace."  One night 
after a football game he and I noticed her making it with two guys 
under the grandstand.  That night my husband hummed "Amazing Grace" 
while he ate me out.  A week or so later we were in a movie theater 
when we saw Grace and her current boyfriend making out a few rows over.  
My husband whispered in my ear what he would like to do to me and 
Amazing Grace, and I think I actually timed my orgasm to come with 
hers.  The next Sunday the congregation sang "Amazing Grace" in church.  
I did not have an orgasm on that occasion, but I did have a hard time 
afterwards explaining to the kids what I was laughing about.  What I am 
saying, I guess, is that the title of this story didn't exactly put me 
off.

In this story, "Mark" (that's not his real name; but that doesn't 
matter, because he's not even a real person) is a Ph.D. candidate and 
teaching assistant in anthropology at a large California university.  
He goes into a sex fantasy booth and is startled to see Grace (one of 
his most beautiful students) looking back at him through the one-way 
mirror. This encounter leads to some thoroughly stimulating activities 
for both of them.  Mark incorporates Grace into his fantasy life with 
Helen, his fiancee who has been forced to live in a distant city.

Actually, it's not all that likely that a college student would find 
personal and sexual fulfillment that would enrich her life by taking a 
job that required her to strip and masturbate while horny, anonymous 
guys pound the bald-headed moose on the other side of a one-way mirror.  
Nor is it all that likely that a lonely guy is going to find a 
meaningful relationship in a sleazy booth in a red-light district.  But 
there's something about the idea of two people, separated only by a 
thin one-way mirror, with breasts pushed up against one side, and cum 
shooting against the other...  anyway, it's one helluva fantasy.  As 
the song says, "You gotta have a wet dream, 'Cuz if you don't have a 
wet dream, How you gonna have a wet dream come true?"  Or something 
like that.

Come to think of it, compared to the movie "Pretty Woman" this plot is 
stark realism.

The story examines in an interesting manner some complex and erotic 
emotions.  For example, since "Mark" is both the teacher and the 
invisible patron, he views Grace as both a demure virgin and a sexy 
slut; and he finds this combination to be most enticing.  Grace herself 
eventually opens up and discusses with Mark aspects of her own life 
outside the booth.  A part of the sexual tension is that they are both 
being very unsafe in this form of safe sex in which they are engaged.  
In her job, Grace is running the risk that sooner or later someone will 
come into the booth and recognize her.  And Mark is taking a risk that 
Grace will discover that he is her instructor, and there is no way of 
knowing what that could lead to, for better or worse.

I don't want to ruin the story by telling you too much of the plot.  
Suffice it to say that I especially enjoyed the confessional fantasy, 
when Grace reverted to her high school uniform and confessed her sins 
to Mark, who in his role as a patron in the booth actually did resemble 
a priest in the confessional.

Oh! One more thing.  In this story Grace is experiencing some problems 
outside her booth life.  She suffers from depression and visits a 
therapist; but she hasn't yet told the therapist about her job.  Here's 
some free advice.  If you are paying a therapist huge amounts of money 
to help you solve your problems, for God's sake tell the therapist if 
you happen to supplement your income by having real or fake orgasms for 
pay in a sex fantasy booth.  The information may be relevant to your 
problem.  At the very least, the therapist may be willing to let you 
pay for your session with in-kind services.

Overall, this was an excellent, well-rounded story.  The author even 
spelled the word "discreet" correctly, which is the mark of a truly 
literate person.  But the main reason I liked it was because it 
prompted me to go into the bedroom shortly after midnight humming, 
"Amazing Grace, how sweet she is, to suck a cock like mine."  I go to 
school very tired some mornings after I review these stories!

Since the author will use the anonymous mailing service to post the 
story, there's a chance you might have trouble finding the whole thing 
when he reposts it - the parts may become widely separated.  My advice 
to you is to wait until you have all three parts of the story.  Then 
brace yourself for an amazing evening with Grace.

Ratings for "Dispensation of Grace"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"My Linda" by Midnight (mjv@wam.umd.edu).  The general plot of this 
story is simple.  The guy picks up his girlfriend and takes her to a 
movie, where she gives him a blow job that sort of ties in with the 
plot of the movie.  Then they go to his apartment and engage in some 
hot sex with a friendly dominance theme.

The author asked for advice, and so here are some ways I would improve 
the story.  The main improvement would be to focus the story more 
effectively by doing a better job of selecting what to say.  I like 
stories that go beyond, "wham, bam, thank you m'am"; and so details 
unrelated to actual penetration are often a good idea.  However, this 
author sometimes went into too much irrelevant detail.  

A sex story is not an anthropological study; and so the author is not 
obligated to describe everything the characters say and think.  There 
should be a focus of the story; and everything in the story should 
relate in some way to that focus.  When an author departs from a clear 
focus, little things start to add up.  Once my attention begins to 
wander, I become distracted by little errors that I would normally 
ignore.  Little digressions add up.  For example, it's not necessary to 
mention that the guy locked the door when he left his house to visit 
his girlfriend - unless the locked door is later going to pose a 
barrier of some kind.  Once I'm distracted by the locking of the door, 
I might become distracted by something else before I get back to the 
plot.

Many authors do what this one did.  They picture themselves in the 
setting, and then they write down everything in the picture.  This is a 
tempting strategy, but it's simply not the best way to go.

There are many authors on this newsgroup who do an excellent job with 
focus and with details; they seem to know just which details to mention 
and when to introduce them.  Deirdre is an excellent example.  Among 
longer works, both Delta's and Mark Aster's stories almost always show 
an almost perfect balance in the details they choose to relate.  Both 
of the stories entitled "Rain" that I review below offer good examples 
of the focused use of details to tell a good story.

Secondly, the author should have made a final sweep through the story 
to straighten out the verb tenses and to tighten up the punctuation.  
It's not that the author is illiterate, but if I had talked in a 
strange pattern of tenses right now the verb tense will annoy you at 
lest a little bit doesn't it?  And wouldn't you have made just a little 
more sense out of the preceding sentence if I would have put a comma 
before "doesn't it"?

Overall, this wasn't a bad story.  I hope this author keeps at it and 
manages to improve his style a little.

Ratings for "My Linda"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6

"Rain" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).  "Doesn't it get boring - all 
the time with the same guy?"  That question came not from an a.s.s. 
pervert, but from my teenage daughter a few years ago.  My answer was, 
"You would expect it to get boring; but surprisingly, no - not so far."  
I raise the same question every time I read another story in the "My 
Friends the Allens" series; "Isn't this going to get boring."  I mean, 
all the author ever seems to write about is this wonderfully hot stud 
traveling with and servicing two well-adjusted and well-endowed young 
nymphomaniacs.  The sex is almost invariably hot and consensual.  It's 
gotta get boring some time.  But not yet.

In this episode, Our Hero reclines on a beach with one of the Allen 
sisters, while they watch another couple initiate and consummate 
passionate sex nearby.  Naturally, the voyeurs get turned on as well 
and make passionate love themselves, as a gentle rain begins to fall on 
them.  The description, the environment - the entire picture evoked in 
my mind as I read this story was really beautiful.  Another excellent 
story!

Ratings for "Rain"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Rain" by Damya (an128788@anon.penet.fi).  Unless I have miscounted, I 
have reviewed 107 stories by Deirdre.  Since the monosyllabic title of 
the previous story (Rain) sounded like a natural for Deirdre, I decided 
to compare the two stories with identical titles.  I was surprised to 
discover that Deirdre has never written a story with that title.  
Alphabetically, she skips right past "pump," "rat," and all the Q-words 
and goes straight from "performance" to "reception."  This supports my 
theory that she is actually Sherwood Anderson reincarnated and living 
in Sulphur Springs, where they have no pumps, very few rats, and little 
rain - and where people regard Q-words with suspicion.

However, while searching my database for Deirdre's Missing Story, I did 
find another story entitled "Rain."  Since I myself have a warm spot in 
my heart for the fantasy of making love in a gentle rainfall, I decided 
to review this story, which is written by "Damya."  

I was disappointed with this story, because the couple came in from the 
rain before making love.  But that was the only source of 
disappointment that this story gave me.  This is an exceptionally good 
tale of warm and gentle passion between two persons who have been 
lovers for a long time.  I have reviewed several of Damya's stories and 
have often commented that they were good *partial* stories; but this 
one is an excellent *complete* story.  Damya shows exceptional strength 
at developing a mood and at integrating every element of the story with 
that mood.  An excellent story!

Ratings for "Rain"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10