Celestial Reviews 72 - Mar 23, 1996
Note: I am now using a rating system which gives each story three
discrete ratings. These are explained in more detail in my FAQ, but
here is a summary.
Athena Rating. This rating covers such matters as grammar, spelling,
formatting, and creative use of the language. A story with essentially
no serious grammar, spelling, or usage problems will receive a rating
of 8. To get a rating of 9 or 10, the author will have to do something
creative with the language.
Venus Rating. This rating describes such matters as plot and character
development.
Celeste Rating. This rating describes how much I myself liked the
story.
Second Note:
- Celeste
"Healing" by D.A. Ignatius (romance) 10, 10, 10
"The Adventure of The Cross of St. Simon" by Dr. Watson
(detective story with bondage) 9, 10, 7
"Heather Part 26" by Ramapo (hot ff sex) 9, 10, 10
"Hands On" by Deidre Ng (hand jobs & blow jobs) 10, 10, 10
"The Passing of Seasons" by Linda B (emerging sexuality)
10, 10, 10
*"The Horny Librarian" by Unknown Author (sex in
the library) 8, 8, 8
"Airport" by Anonymous (exhibitionism and mile-high
sex) 9, 10, 10
"Chrissy's Mom" by Mark Aster (gentle but hot sex) 10, 9,
9.5
"Healing" by D.A. Ignatius (jash@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu). This is the
sixth story I have reviewed in the DarkNites series. It begins as a
very serious, almost somber story. Both of the woman's parents have
died in some sort of recent tragedy. The man feels locked out of her
life and wants to get back in. After a conflict of emotions they make
tender love, and the lovemaking becomes part of the healing process.
In a very real sense, this is not an enjoyable story. It is likely to
remind you of some of the saddest times in your life. However, in
another sense it is a most enjoyable story, because it leads to the
insight that two people pulling together intimately can make a
difference in each other's lives.
Ratings for "Healing"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Adventure of The Cross of St. Simon" by Dr. Watson (Ramapo)
(an257736@anon.penet.fi ). As is the custom in many Sherlock Holmes
stories, the set-up occurs in the context of a woman relating a story
from her past. In this case, a lovely Senorita describes her
relationship with a rich young count, who used to inflict on her as a
part of a sexual bondage game a whipping that left an x-shaped scar
that was referred to as the Cross of St. Simon. Recently, a series of
murders of beautiful women in London has suggested that these victims
had experienced the same sort of bondage immediately prior to their
deaths. Holmes devises a plan whereby the evil Count will be lured out
of hiding with the Senorita as bait, with himself and Watson lurking
nearby to capture the evildoer at the crucial moment.
The story is generally well written, but it includes some distracting
errors, which probably arose from the combination of a spellchecker and
faulty proofreading. For example, in a single paragraph a woman states
that she "became free of my addition {i.e., addiction} and regained my
freedom. I cannot contribute {i.e., attribute} my survival to anything
other than fate...." This sounds more like Mrs. Malapros than what we
would expect in a Conan Doyle story. The dialog is generally good, but
sentences like the following don't ring true to the Conan Doyle style:
"My quim is full and eager for your cock to find it's way to my soul,
to hold you deep in my honey pot until we are both drained and
exhausted."
I suppose bondage and torture enthusiasts will take greater delight
than I did in the voyeurism experienced by Watson as he and Holmes
watched from concealment as the Count did his thing to the Senorita.
I'll reveal no further details here. This is a good story, but not as
good as the author's previously posted "Case of the Tingling Clitoris."
Ratings for "The Adventure of The Cross of St. Simon"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Heather Part 26" by Ramapo (an257736@anon.penet.fi ). I assume there
were 25 previous parts of "Heather," but I was easily able to jump into
the story at this point. I found the story to be delightfully
creative. One of the first incidents in the story occurs at the
airport's security checkpoint, where Heather's friend is required by a
guard to demonstrate the use of the items in her purse, including a
vibrator. Next we get some really hot ff sex on the plane ride; and
the stewardess intervenes with an invitation - actually a mandate - for
the travelers to visit her at her flat in England. {I think it's
really cute the way the British use quaint words like "flat." I just
found out today that some Brits call us Americans "septics," because
"Yank" rhymes with "tank. You can never tell what you'll learn right
here in Celestial Reviews.} The plot centers around intrigue and sex
among lovely females in an atmosphere of wealthy people.
There are some distracting errors that could have been cleaned up
before this story was posted, but it's generally pretty exciting stuff
- if you're interested in woman stimulating one another to repeated
orgasms in interesting places and under unusual conditions.
Ratings for "Heather Part 26"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Hands On" by Deidre Ng (Deidre Ng@aol.com). Deidre Ng employs the
flashback technique as effectively as anyone I know on this newsgroup.
She even does flashbacks within flashbacks without confusing the
reader. In this case, the narrator starts the story giving a hand job
to her present lover and immediately flashes back to the first hand job
she gave to her adolescent boyfriend. She then flashes back to her
fourth grade fantasies of what sex must really be like. She moves back
and forth through these nested scenes quite effectively. This story is
easy to read; but believe me, it is not easy to write this kind of
story as well as Deidre does.
The emerging adolescence that Deidre describes in this story is quite
different from my own; but as I read her description, it was totally
believable and almost nostalgic. Deidre's other stories are often what
I might call "crazy sexy" - all out total passion, often in the context
of a comparison to the activities of her insatiable sister Tammy. This
story has a note of that sort of spontaneous sex, but it also
demonstrates that Deidre can write in an entirely different, more
nostalgic mood.
Incidentally, this author is Deidre - without an early "r" as in
Deirdre. Both Deidre and Deirdre are excellent writers, but their
stories are quite different.
Ratings for "Hands On"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Passing of Seasons" by Linda B (an274617@anon.penet.fi). I try to
wait until all the parts of serialized stories have been posted before
I post my review. I have seen seven parts of this story, and the
seventh says it will be continued; but I am going to go ahead and post
my review now, since I haven't seen an eighth part yet and don't think
there is one.
This is an exceptionally well written, sensitive story about the
intimate relationship between two young girls. It's almost like a good
Judy Blume story - except, of course, that teenagers read Judy Blume,
whereas they would never think of reading stories on a.s.s., which are
prohibited to them. In fact, I think it is possible that Linda B may
actually be Judy Blume, prematurely reincarnated and living in that
literary commune in a Waldenesque setting near Sulphur Springs.
{Incidentally, if you think Judy Blume writes only for kids, you should
read her "Smart Women," which is probably available in your local
public library.}
This author is intimately attuned to the emotions likely to be felt and
expressed by teenagers trying to establish their sexual identities. I
myself am a happy heterosexual, but I recall feeling many of these same
emotions (if not the same activities) that Jenny and Sarah express in
this story. (I have no intention of revisiting my discussion of
whether practically all adolescent women experience these emotions.
They do; but I have promised not to make an issue of that theory.)
This is a really good story.
The author has an interesting disclaimer, which reads in part: "If you
are a teenager, we as adults don't think that you should read this,
even though you are sexually mature and probably have much more sexual
desire than we do. We are merely jealous of your sexual virility.
Please leave us alone to *fantasize* about being your age once again.
I'm sorry but you'll have to wait until you're at least 18 before you
can have your own fantasies. Preferably you should wait until you're at
least 30 or older, that way you can really have something to fantasize
about: your very own teenaged years!" <Hear, hear!> <Well said!>
<Touche!> <Applause>
Ratings for "The Passing of Seasons"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
*"The Horny Librarian" by Unknown Author. This story has been reposted
with a title line that says only "Librarian." I gave this story a
favorable review, and I am repeating it because I am afraid the switch
in names will be confusing to people who would like to find it.
Librarians have a special place in my heart. This is partly because
they are a misunderstood minority, much like English teachers - but
usually older and less attractive. However, my special kinship had its
origin at a time shortly after our second daughter was born. My
husband was doing advanced studies, and I had accompanied him to the
university library. There was an attractive young college student
working at the main desk, and we were seated at an isolated table away
from everyone else, as the library emptied that evening. After about
an hour of serious study, I felt my husband's hand on my thigh under
the table, and he whispered in a low voice what he would like to do to
the young lady at the desk. I told him to shut up and show me, and
while he brought me to a gentle orgasm, I responded by gently caressing
his cock through his pants.
My husband deliberately dropped his pencil and obviously wanted me to
go under the table to retrieve it and to perform another service while
I was down there, but I wasn't interested in getting arrested for
indecent exposure. To help overcome his obvious disappointment, I
managed to unzip his fly and began quietly describing to him what the
girl at the desk would like to do to his cock. He gazed straight at
her all the while I secretly played his pipe organ. I continued to
caress his joystick, making my fingers feel as much as possible like
her lips, and to describe her hypothetical activities, until he shot
his load into my hand. I caught what I could and brought my hand to my
mouth and licked it clean, while he continued to bring me to the
completion of my own orgasm.
We managed to do all this without arousing the attention of anyone - or
so we thought. When we left the library fifteen minutes later, we
stopped to check out some books. When the young lady returned my
library card to me, she smiled very nicely and said, "It's really great
to see older people who are so much in love." As she handed me back my
library card, she casually brought her hand close to my face. I was
struck by the obvious fragrance of her feminine juices on her hand. We
made love once in the car and once more at home that night. I often
saw that assistant librarian around the campus, but I never discussed
the matter with her any further. However, as I said, I have a warm
spot in my heart for librarians.
Ooops! This is a review, not a story. Ignore those previous three
paragraphs. In the present story Laura Weber is a smalltown librarian
whose husband has passed away and left her with four teenage children.
Although she's a tiger inside, she feels compelled to put on a proper
exterior in order to maintain the respect of the community and keep her
job. As luck would have it, just when she's about ready to explode
from pent-up lust, she comes across a young lad jerking off in the
stacks around closing time, while he is looking at the engravings in a
tome of either anthropological or artistic interest. Motivated both by
her own lust and by a desire to avoid doing anything that might make
the poor lad dislike the library, she exposes the boy - literally.
They have mutually pleasurable oral sex; and as the story ends, it
seems likely that David will not develop a pathological avoidance of
libraries or reading.
Of course, librarians should not give blowjobs to kids in the stacks;
but I suspect that more than one young man has fantasized having this
happen. Although this story is written from the perspective of the
librarian, I suspect it was written by a grown-up David, who had
rehearsed this plot on many an occasion while he searched for naked
breasts in National Geographic and wished that the librarian would put
her lips in a slightly more intimate location when she sushed him.
Ratings for "The Horny Librarian"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Airport" by Anonymous (pak05308@pixie.co.za). This is a very sexy
story - especially when we consider that it is the author's first
contribution to this newsgroup. The basic premise is that the narrator
is late for his flight and has to spend some extra time at the airport,
where two sexy young women in the bar start coming on to him in rather
outlandish ways. The two women change their own flight plans so that
they can accompany him, and he finds himself seated between the two of
them with both of his hands simultaneously playing a furry fiddle.
Actually, the author tells the story much better; so I suggest you read
this highly erotic story yourself.
I'm pretty sure I am actually qualified for membership in the Mile-High
Club, if such a club actually exists. The only person who has ever
directly brought me to climax on an airplane is my husband; but since
that first time I rarely take a lengthy flight without at least one hot
- albeit private - orgasm. I generally refrain if I am seated next to
children, and once a loquacious grandmother served as a serious
impediment; but I have become quite proficient at the Solitary Art in
Flight and have successfully dealt with my Fear of Flying. However, I
still like it best when my husband flies with me - if only because I
don't have to worry about risky exposure that I might incur while
reaching sans panties into an overhead compartment to get a blanket and
pillow. There are limits to my exhibitionism - usually centered around
the point where I might actually get arrested or publicly embarrassed -
or where my mother is likely to hear about it. A fantasy like this one
will make my next trip more enjoyable. In fact, it's already making my
life a little bit more enjoyable right now.
Ratings for "Airport"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Chrissy's Mom" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). The eponymous
Chrissy is a child whom Our Hero meets while he is caring for a spoiled
little helion who is related to the Allen Sisters. Our Hero does not
have sex with Chrissy, but rather with her equally eponymous mother,
who hasn't had a good roll in the hay since her bastard husband left
her. If one uses a word a word correctly ten times, I'm told, one will
know the word for life. I'm just about there with "eponymous." When
Chrissy gets sleepy and goes to bed, she asks if our non-eponymous Hero
is going home soon; and he replies that he has to stick around to to
clean out some pipes for her Mom first. And clean out the pipes he
does! The guy is a living Rotor Rooter!
I liked this story because it dealt with normal people - in the
mundane, traditional sense. I mean, rarely do people in a.s.s. stories
who have children have fulfilling sex that does not involve those
children. I am and I do, and so it was good to see a kindred spirit at
work.
Ratings for "Chrissy's Mom"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5