Celestial Reviews 68 - Mar 9, 1996
Note: I have begun using a new rating system, which gives each story
three discrete ratings. These are explained in more detail in my FAQ,
but here is a summary.
Athena Rating. This rating covers such matters as grammar, spelling,
formatting, and creative use of the language. A story with essentially
no serious grammar, spelling, or usage problems will receive a rating
of 8. To get a rating of 9 or 10, the author will have to do something
creative with the language.
Venus Rating. This rating describes such matters as plot and character
development.
Celeste Rating. This rating describes how much I myself liked the
story.
On the summary line, I'll simply list these as three separate ratings:
{"Name of Story" by Author (topic) 8, 10, 8}. In the first few weeks
of using this system, I have also tried (with some success) to be a
little more "strict" - I give three 10's much less readily than I used
to give simple 10's.
Second Note: I approached March with good intentions. I even pulled
from the postings a story by an author who I "knew" would write a story
that would be good but not excellent. I resolved to zap even good
stories with lower ratings in at least one category. However, I was
bombarded with excellent stories this week. I hope you enjoy these.
- Celeste
"The ECE Shop" by D.A. Ignatius (inspirational
anecdote) 10, 6, 10
"Blame It All On The Internet" by Morpheus' Twin (fantasy
and orgy) 10, 9.5, 9.5
"Tidal Passion" by Patrick Donovan (romance) 10, 10, 10
"200-Year-Old Porn" by Zifferman (voyeurism) 10, 7, 8
"Anything" by Delta (fantasy & flirtation) 10, 10, 10
"Cross Country" by Angelique (mindless rape) 4, 4, 2
"Poisonous Flower" by Kokujin (prison rape of psychotic
victim) 4, 4, 3
"Black Cat" by Mark Aster (sex on drugs) 10, 9, 9
"College Reunion" by Deirdre Ng (hot lesbian sex) 10, 10, 10
"Mom's Story" by Morpheus' Twin (mid-age romance &
passion) 10, 9.5, 9.5
"The ECE Shop" by D.A. Ignatius (jash@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu). One of my
favorite songs is "Do You Know You Are My Sunshine?" by the Statler
Brothers. It tells of a singer leaning down from the stage to accept a
request from a concert goer; and the young woman says, "Do you know
'You Are My Sunshine?' and would you play it one time more for me?"
The young woman's smile changes the singer's life, even though she is
gone "as fast as the song that she asked for," taking his sunshine
away. And so, as the singer goes "border to border and ocean to
ocean," he's constantly "searching the crowds for her face," so that
he'll get one chance to say to her, "Do you know you are my sunshine,
and won't you do it one more time for me?"
It's a corny story, but it runs exactly parallel to this one, in which
a young woman's outlook on life is changed by the briefest encounter
with a stranger. There's no explicit sex at all in this story or in my
song; but I hope you can see how something like this can revolutionize
one's sex life. I know that I myself have had a similar experience.
I'm not going to tell you the details, because that would definitely
blow my anonymity.
One of the reasons I think I keep teaching my classes and writing these
reviews is that I hope I can return the favor by passing on a similar
experience to someone else. I like to think that without even knowing
exactly when it happens I can help just one or two people feel as much
better about themselves as I do or as the narrator of this story does
as result of our encounters. As far as I'm concerned that outlook on
life does more good than most organized religions.
This is the fourth story in the DarkNites series. It is NOT a great
story, because it really doesn't go anywhere. But it IS a great story
because it reminded me of so much that has been important to me. Read
it for general inspiration; and then read another story for a specific
turn-on.
After reviewing the first four DarkNites stories, I have finally
managed to contact the author; and so I no longer have to label her as
Unknown Author. She maintains a WWW home page where the entire
DarkNites and Immortality (new work) series can be found. The address
is http:\\falcon.cc.ukans.edu\~lafemme\darknite.htm.
Ratings for "The ECE Shop"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Blame It All On The Internet" by Morpheus' Twin
(an282402@anon.penet.fi). I don't download nude pictures from the
Internet. This is simply because I have better things to do with my
life - namely relate to my friends and family, teach my classes, and
read stories to review for this newsgroup. However, I have received
three pictures by e-mail; I have no idea how or why they showed up.
One was of such poor quality that I threw it away. The second was a
photo of some guy with an obviously retouched penis (if you'll pardon
the expression). The third was a high quality photo of a beautiful
woman - the kind you see on Sports Illustrated calendars, but sans
bathing suit. So my experience with the topic of this story is
limited.
The guy in this story does enjoy the pictures from the 'Net. He
downloads them regularly, and he especially enjoys the ones that guys
submit to show off their wives or girlfriends. He'd like to post his
own wife's picture, but he thinks she would be reluctant to cooperate.
Besides, he doesn't have a scanner. But wait! The story doesn't end
there! The wife IS willing, and a friend DOES have a scanner, and it
WOULD be titillating to have the friend see the wife's luscious body
while he scanned the pictures for them.
Well, it sounded like a good idea; but wouldn't you know it, everybody
gets turned on before much scanning even occurs. And then it turns out
that the friend has nudies of his own wife already on file. The
scanning session shifts to a regular Show-and-Tell party and then to a
veritable orgy! The scanning gets finished some time the next day.
My favorite part of the story, of course, occurred when the author
spelled "discreetly" correctly. That's no mien feet on this newsgroup!
The story started slowly - too much irrelevant dialogue at the start;
but then it became very good toward the end. The author did a good job
of describing erotic pictures in such a way that they seemed really
sexy to me, even though they existed only in my imagination. That's a
neat trick!
Ratings for "Blame It All on the Internet"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5
"Tidal Passion" by Patrick Donovan (drwho@world.std.com). I had to
reread the first few paragraphs of this story to make sure I had it
right. This couple was traveling together to Florida for a winter
vacation; they were obviously in love; but they were sleeping
separately! Oh, great; amateurs with a worldview that suggests you're
supposed to be deeply in love or permanently committed to each other
before you make love. I've had enough of that in my real life; I want
raging sex in my fantasy life.
Actually, I got both. This is by far the best story I have read by
this author. The protagonists come across as being deeply in love, and
the simple act of consummating their relationship becomes extremely
engrossing as it takes place on a Florida beach. This is a beautiful,
romantic story.
Ratings for "Tidal Passion"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"200-Year-Old Porn" by Zifferman (zifferman@aol.com). Its title
suggests that this story was written during the late 18th century by
Comte Gabriel Honore Riqueti de Mirabeau in his "The Lifted Curtain."
However, it reads so much like modern a.s.s. writings that I doubt its
authenticity. If anyone can document to me that there was a person who
wrote such a text in the 1790's, I would be surprised but happy to hear
about it. Nevertheless, this is a clever forgery, describing the
reactions of a young girl who spies upon her father and his mistress
while they are doing the deed in the room next to her own.
Ratings for "200-Year-Old Porn"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Anything" by Delta (an248969@anon.penet.fi). Lance is driving his car
on a dismal night, concerned and annoyed because his wife is
inexplicably upset and has gone to visit her sister. In this state of
emotional tension, he picks up a young, female hitchhiker. Susan
thinks she recognizes Lance, but she doubts that this is really the
case. Susan comments that she would do "anything" for a ride all the
way to her distant destination by 9:00 the next morning. Lance quickly
takes her up on her offer, and off they go on their mutual odyssey.
Susan is upset when he pulls up at his house - obviously to cash in on
"anything"; but it turns out that he has to feed the cat. The shifts
in mood and in sexual tension continue throughout the story.
The author constantly switches rapidly but smoothly between the
viewpoints of the two protagonists, describing the thoughts and
emotions of each. Neither knows what the other is thinking, and we
constantly see how each is sometimes right and sometimes wrong in his
or her perceptions of the other. What Delta does as well as or perhaps
better than anyone is tell a COMPLETE STORY - a story with a plot that
involves me as the reader and plays with my mind as I think I know what
is going to happen next. This is a truly excellent and sexy story.
Ratings for "Anything"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
Cross Country" by Angelique (P8gan@msn.com). Joe and Pete are two fun-
loving guys who sabotage Tanya's car so that they can kidnap her and
rape her while they travel across the country in their van. They do
really neat things like calling her Bitch and beating her with a belt
and sniffing her underpants and fucking her like crazy. Before they
fuck her, they make her beg for it real nice; and they threaten to beat
her if she asks wrong. These young moral philosophers figure this way
they're not raping her - just giving her what she asks for. She begs
to be released; they say no; and then the story ends. No big loss.
Incidentally, if an author is going to post under a nice, sexy, French,
female name like Angelique, he should at least show some insight into
the female personality. You should have stayed with Tammy Faye, Jimmy!
Gotcha!
Ratings for "Cross Country"
Athena (technical quality): 4
Venus (plot & character): 4
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 2
"Poisonous Flower" by Kokujin. This is a story about a woman in prison who is
repeatedly raped by the guards and their friends. The woman is thoroughly
confused and experiences hallucinations. I think there's probably a very good
idea behind this story. The problem is that stories about confused people who
hallucinate are very difficult to write. Paradoxically, it is necessary to
write very clearly in order to convey the sense of confusion. In this case,
the author has written haphazardly; and the result is that the author's
confusion merges with the protagonist's confusion to the point where the
reader has no idea what is happening most of the time. With proofreading and
revision this might become a good story.
Ratings for "Poisonous Flower"
Athena (technical quality): 4
Venus (plot & character): 4
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3
"Black Cat" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). I enjoy corresponding
with this author. Along with the present story he sent me a note
stating that he enjoyed CR 67, and he added:
"ROTFL! Maybe our senses of humor are just similar, but it's very
dangerous for me to read your reviews in public. Ah, but here I am
buttering up the reviewer again. (Hm, interesting image...) Not
to imply that they're JUST funny; but the mix of humor in among
the wisdom is always a delight."
Here's my reply:
"Yeah, right! So you read my reviews in public, and the person at the next
terminal or the really serious librarian says, "What are you laughing about?"
You can reply, 'These back issues of Calvin and Hobbes on the Internet really
slay me!' Or if you think the person might come and check the cartoon, you
can reply, 'I love this Rush Limbaugh humor! It's so much better in the
original German!'
"But were I to read your stories in public, I would have no equally palliative
replies. 'Oh, I always get a little moist when I read....' What can I say?
No matter what I would say, I'd still come across as slightly more
dysfunctional than you would."
Back to this story. On Friday the 13th of September our unnamed protagonist
agrees to use a hallucinogenic drug called Black Cat, which he receives from a
woman named Marilyn who has just broken her compact mirror. I don't know the
significance of the name Marilyn, but everything else suggests a bad trip as
my parents used to say back in the 60's. Bad trips can actually be fun - as
long as they're imaginary. The images the author concocts in this story range
from the erotic to the grotesque. From what I've heard, the descriptions in
this story are pretty accurate. I don't do hard drugs; and so my own
experience is limited to mixing excessive drinking with sex. Usually I fall
asleep before I get really going. That doesn't bother me, because I go so
early and blissfully into a sound sleep with very few inhibitions while this
guy whom I completely trust is making sure I have sweet dreams. However, my
husband often comments that he's not really into necrophilia, and so I try not
to do this too often. Oh, and there was the one time I got really drunk and
puked all over him - but that's not a pleasant story.
A final word of advice: If you want to find out if a drug has negative
side effects, get this information from someone other than the pusher.
I find it amazing that people who would never put comparable trust in a
used car salesman or fruit peddler will say to the person offering them
drugs, "This isn't bad for me, is it?"
Ratings for "The Black Cat"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"College Reunion" by Deidre Ng (Deidre Ng@aol.com). Every year each
school throughout the entire world has a parents' night or something of
the sort, when parents dutifully trot off to school and find out how
the kiddies are doing. At the lower grade levels, nearly all the
parents who can possibly do so show up; but as kids enter high school,
the crowd of parents thins out substantially. Probably the single most
common comment in teachers' lounges at this time of year is, "The
parents I need to see never show up. The only parents I ever see
around here are those whose children are already doing good work!"
We have a similar phenomenon here on this newsgroup. (After I noticed
this analogy, I had to point it out to someone; and I figured you
people would handle the analogy a little better than those in the
teachers' lounge.) The writers who least need to revise their stories
are the most likely to revise them before reposting those stories.
This is the THIRD revision by Deidre Ng of this story. When she first
posted it, I rated it a 10. So she revised it and reposted it; and it
was even better. So I rated it a 10. At least this time, I have a new
rating system, and so I can give it three 10's.
Briefly stated, this is a story about a passionate reunion between two
woman who had previously been very fond of each other as college
roommates. The author effectively moves back and forth among past and
present scenarios. An interesting aspect of this story is that Deidre
gets away with the use of the second person (you), which I normally
find obnoxious. In most cases, "you" stories put the reader in a bad
spot. For example, in the present case the "you" is a female lesbian
(actually, a hearty bisexual); and so all males and many females would
possibly have trouble identifying with that perspective. However,
Deidre manages to use this point of view effectively. As an ultimate
test, I asked my husband to read the story and to let me know if
anything bothered him. He showed me what "bothered" him all right, and
we had a delightful rest of the evening.
Incidentally, to encourage such revisions, I WILL consider revisions of
old stories to be eligible when I make up my monthly and annual Top 15
and Top 100 lists.
Ratings for "College Reunion"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Mom's Story" by Morpheus' Twin (an282402@anon.penet.fi). Mom is
having trouble getting along with her adolescent daughter. In a flash
of insight she realizes that this is because she has gotten into a rut
as a single mother and has stopped thinking of herself as a sexual
person. She quickly finds fulfillment by trying on a sexy dress
engaging in three-way sex with Lori and her boyfriend, who express
their admiration of her newly released sensuous body and personality.
At this point I was afraid I had walked into some sort of cheesy incest
story; but that turned out not to be the case after all. In the final
three-fourths of the story the mother and her boyfriend deepen their
relationship in really sexy ways. This was a good story!
Ratings for "Mom's Story"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5
CELESTIAL WORD USAGE: I don't have much time for word usage this week.
I found only one interesting mistake:
LUXURIANT/LUXURIOUS. "Luxuriant" means lush or overgrown. "Luxurious"
means "having to do with luxury." There may be times when sex takes
place in a luxuriant environment, but most authors really mean to say
"luxurious." Interestingly, both words have been tactfully and (I
think) correctly used to refer to my vaginal area. And the preceding
sentence has nothing to do with carrots.