Celestial Reviews 64 - Feb 24, 1996
Note: I think I have found a reasonable way to break my string of too
many 10's. (The problem with that method was that I was giving too
many 10's, and so readers found it difficult to differentiate among
very good and great stories.) The solution, I think, is to switch to a
0-100 instead of a 1-9 scale. A rating of 90 should be considered the
rough equivalent of an old 10; and a zero equivalent to an old 1.
I am going to deliberately resist giving really high scores - even if I
like the author and truly enjoy the story. I'll try to use the perfect
100 rating very rarely. Note that under this new system I consider a
90 to be a damned good story, and I am not going to give detailed
rationales for rating a story 95 instead of 100. If you get a 95, you
wrote a great story. Period. I don't have time to tell the writer
"how to make it into a 100."
Second Note: Stephanie (an266891@anon.penet.fi), who is a popular
writer with this newsgroup and whose stories I have often reviewed in
CR is sponsoring a writing contest. The only rules are that all
entries have to include Celeste (me) somewhere in the plot and they
have to be submitted to Stephanie by March 20. Stephanie is the sole
judge; and as far as I know the only prizes are the sense of pride the
authors will derive from writing the stories and possible fantasies
associated with them. It sounds like fun!
- Celeste
"Show" by Deirdre (anal sex) 75
"Temp" by Deirdre (ff fantasies) 70
"Hot Dancer" by James Boswell (spouse-watching
& orgy) 90
"The Thaw" by Jordan Shelbourne (romance) 92
"My Young Painter" by Lores R Steblur (romance) 92
"Just a Little Country Girl" by James Boswell (orgies) 90
"Coming Home" by Mark Aster (romance) 90
"Madonna's Erotica" by Madonna (hot sex) 90
"Dancing with You" by Soren Groth (anal sex) 60
"In the Valley" by Mark Aster (major orgy) 91
"Show" by Deirdre. Here we have a game show that resembles Wheel of
Fortune, except that it depends entirely on chance - the players don't
have to know any words. Oh, and I forgot to mention that whenever a
player goes bankrupt, she gets screwed in the ass by her husband or his
proxy standing behind the booth. The story's emphasis is completely on
the humor; the sex isn't very vivid at all. (Rating: 75)
"Temp" by Deirdre. The narrator of this story is a woman who purports
to be a non-lesbian who nonetheless often engages in lesbian fantasies.
Actually, that's putting it mildly; she seems to be unable to look at
another woman without thinking about what it would be like to kiss or
fondle her. And so, one week there's a temp working in the office, who
has a different attitude than the other women. What role will she play
in our heroine's life and fantasies? (Rating: 70)
"Hot Dancer" by James Boswell. This story is presented in the format
of a couple of letters that typically appear (I am told) in magazines
like Penthouse Forum. The first letter describes from the husband's
perspective the activities of a group of friends who were planning a
surprise birthday party for one of the group's husbands. They wanted
to send him a Strip-o-Gram; but because they were late in their
planning they were unable to find a stripper with the requisite big
breasts. Therefore, the friends prevailed upon Susan, the wife of the
letter writer, to fill this role. Susan really got into it and danced
admirably; and a good time was had by all.
The second letter was written four years later and tells the story from
Susan's perspective. It seems that there was a little more action than
the husband knew about. This pair of letters could serve as the basis
for a moral lecture on how good-natured fun can get out of hand; and
readers might well experience vicarious contrition and resolve to
refrain from any such activities in their own lives. On the other
hand, more ribald readers might find this story to be a serious turn-
on. (Rating: 90)
"The Thaw" by Jordan Shelbourne (jordan@u36.kwnet.on.ca ). The
narrator has recently lost his wife in an auto accident. He visits her
grave frequently and talks to his late wife. A woman at a nearby
gravesite likewise visits her late husband. They meet and begin a
fresh love right there on the Gunderson's gravesite. This is a well-
told, poignant, romantic story. (Rating: 92)
"My Young Painter" by Lores R Steblur (an489082@anon.penet.fi ). This
is a highly intelligent and sensitive story. The narrator has been
taking a French class in which she has met a young art student. She
invites him home to view the work of her close friend. There's a lot
of build-up during which the author sets the context in which the
relationship will occur, and then they make tender love. There's a
place in my heart for wham-bam stories, but I suppose there's a bigger
place for stories that give me a reason for the sex. I suppose readers
with absolutely no interest whatsoever in art or intellectual matters
would be put off by this story; but I really liked it. (Rating: 92)
"Just a Little Country Girl" by James Boswell. The man and wife move
from the country to the big city (Baltimore). To get right to the
point - they have made love two or three times a month; she has never
had an orgasm (although she had no idea what she was missing); and they
have never done anything kinky, like oral sex. To make ends meet, they
take in a boarder, a college boy recommended by their church
congregation. Enough build-up!
One of the wife's responsibilities is to make the kid's bed and clean
his room; and of course she can't suppress her interest in "Anal
Honeys," and "Big Tit Fuckers" when she finds these literary items in
his room; and of course they become regular lovers - regular in the
sense of frequent, hardly in the sense of continuing her normal
missionary, non-orgasmic practices. By threatening to cut off her
source of newfound pleasure, the boarder gets her to escalate to wild
orgies with his friends. She'd like to stop, but she can't. It's just
one of those things. Kind of like chocolate candy. (Rating: 90)
"Coming Home" by Mark Aster. The orgymeister has gone soft! I have
never before seen a soft and sentimental story by this author; he
usually dabbles in the wild world of orgies. However, this is an
excellent example of sentimental and romantic yet sexy writing. The
style is quite different from the author's other stories, and he
carries it off very well. (Rating: 90)
"Madonna's Erotica" by Madonna. Somebody sent me a copy of the text
(without pictures) of Madonna's "Erotica." Since this is copyrighted
material, of course, I destroyed the text immediately. I am not really
a Madonna fan, but I have to admit that her music videos are a lot more
creative than many of the others that I see on MTV. I had not been
interested in the book before, and I suspected that without the
pictures it would be extremely bland. Not true. If Madonna wrote this
stuff herself, she is a very good writer - vividly catching the mood of
numerous erotic scenes. To be accurate, I hasten to point out that it
is not better than the top writing on a.s.s., but it is in many places
just as good. Maybe Backrub wasn't completely off track when he
identified Madonna as the mysterious Celeste802. (Rating: 90)
"Dancing with You" by Soren Groth (soren.groth@mailbox.swipnet.se).
This story presents two major themes: (1) the fascination of just
leaving the bar with a stranger, and the slight danger in the awareness
of his determination and intense desire, not being sure how it will
turn out; and (2) the idea that anal sex can be intensely enjoyable
(rather than humiliating, as it is presented in so many stories), if it
is done properly. The problem is that these two themes are so badly
buried in grammatical chaos that it's difficult to find and react to
them. The author may have the "excuse" that English is not his first
language; but the fact remains that ideas and emotions that would
otherwise be interesting are just plain hard to find in this story.
(Rating: 60)
"In the Valley" by Mark Aster. I'm not sure of the significance of the
title of this story. Maybe it refers to the valley where the rich
people live; or maybe it's a biblical reference. Anyway, the usually
sedate narrator attends a major orgy with the Allen Sisters. The story
really has two parts, and they are only loosely connected. First we
have a really hot sequence where the narrator does wonderful things
with the young lady who gave the featured presentation. Second we get
some bdsm sequences with only incidental contact. Maybe bdsm
enthusiasts will see something in the second part that I missed. As
for me, it was the first part that made this memorable.
Immediately adjacent to this story in the postings was a FAQ about Mark
Aster and the Allen Sisters. I encourage you to read it; it's
different from most FAQs that you have encountered on the Internet.
(Rating: 91)