Celestial Reviews 138 - Nov 27, 1996
Note: The authors of these stories receive no compensation for their
work. If you like a story, please consider taking a few minutes to write
a brief message to the author. We have had an extraordinary burst of
good stories this month, and I think we would all like to see this
excellent writing continue.
- Celeste
“Make ****** Fast" by Delta (sexual satire) 10, 10, 10
“Those Ex-Wife Blues” by J. Boswell (ex-wife watching)
10, 10, 10
“B is for Belt” by Dulcinea (light bondage) 10, 10, 10
“Short 8.0” by Wiley (rape) 10, 10, 10
“The Reward” by Bill Green (mind control) 10, 10, 10
“Married with Children” by Uncle Mike (sitcom parody)
10, 8, 8
“Olsen Twins: Deadly Call” by Jazz411 (vicious murder &
tickling) 6, 4, 3
“Alyssa's Song” by The Rebel (romantic encounter) 8, 8, 8
“Happening” by Vickie Tern (complex femdom) 10, 10, 10
“Slitfest” by Denise Q. (all ff orgy) 10, 8, 8
“Donny and Andrea” by Diane Morgan (No rating)
“The Black Knight: An Erotic Adventure” by Alan Barclay
(chivalry, bdsm & humor) 10, 10, 10
* "Spring" by deirdre (hypnotism) 10, 10, 10
* "Stars" by Deirdre (ff adolescent attraction) 10, 9, 9
* "Storm" by Deirdre (anal sex & sex slavery) 10, 10, 10
* "Summer" by Deirdre (domination & bondage) 10, 9, 9
* "Surprise" by Deirdre (bondage & anal sex) 10, 10, 10
* "Swap" by Deirdre (swinging) 10, 8, 7
* "Sweet" by Deirdre (anal sex & domination) 10, 9, 9
* "Tape" by Deirdre (blackmail & anal sex) 10, 8, 8
* "Teacher" by Deirdre (exhibitionism) 10, 9, 9
* "Tech" by Deirdre (dirty doctors & nurses) 10, 6, 6
* "Temp" by Deirdre (ff fantasies) 10, 8, 8
* "Trial" by Deirdre (dominance) 10, 10, 10
* "Trip" by Deirdre (threesomes & wife swapping) 10, 10, 10
* "Try" by Deirdre (anal sex) 10, 9, 9
* Repost of a previous review (because the story has recently
been reposted).
“Make ****** Fast" by Delta (delta@bc.sympatico.ca). In these reviews I
have occasionally expressed my bemused bewilderment over the chain
letters that I sometimes receive via e-mail. One of my speculations has
been about the meaning of the statement “this letter has been around the
world five times.” Is five times good or bad for e-mail? And how do they
know which direction the mail went in the first place, and what
constitutes a circumnavigation of the globe?
Delta has taken a more detailed, satirical approach in her reaction to
chain spam. The ****** in the title stands for what it usually stands
for on the net, only it’s usually spelled ****. Delta’s story is based
on the premise that one can send one’s lover to the top name in the left
column or whatever those letters require. Sounds like fun, you may
think; but as the story will show, there could be some negative
repercussions.
By the way, I have never given an Orion rating of 10 to anyone.
Ratings for “Make ****** Fast”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Those Ex-Wife Blues” by J. Boswell. The night their divorce became
final, Cindy and Jake went out to dinner and, afterwards, made sweet,
slow, sad love for the last time. Years later, Cindy eventually marries
a rich guy and becomes a socialite and calls to pick up a few things from
her ex’s attic. When she offers a friendly come-on - “Is there anything
I can do to make this worthwhile for you?” - Jake replies, “Sure. The
bathroom hasn’t been cleaned in a long time.” So she cleans the bathroom
for him; but she dresses for the part and re-enacts one of her favorite
submissive roles with him while she does the job. Well, Jake likes it,
and so does Cindy; and she finds herself with a new part-time job every
Saturday.
At this point, I said to myself, ”I thought this was a Boswell story.”
Sure enough. Jake has to tell Cindy that they’ll have to skip a week for
a March Madness party. Well, to put it briefly the guys are impressed -
I mean, she gives Jake a whole new home theater for the occasion. But
she also poses as the caterer’s helper who needs a quick fifty bucks from
each of the guys.... This is pretty hot stuff. I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Ratings for “Those Ex-Wife Blues”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“B is for Belt” by Dulcinea (Dulcinea97@aol.com). Good grief! There
must be a gazillion of these things! Short stories in which people who
are in love flirt outrageously with one another and then pleasantly fuck
each other’s brains out! I really enjoy Dulcinea’s stories, and I have
decided to read and review them all. But I just discovered another
hooker’s dozen in the postings today! It’s like Sherwood Anderson with a
zest for life! Or Deirdre with multiple-word titles! How much (m/f,
rom, cons) can even Celeste take? Well, as someone said, “There are
worse hobbies than windmill jousting... To every man his Dulcinea!”
In this story the woman is teasing her husband while he works, but he
quickly turns the tables on her. He ties her with a belt and has his way
with her. This is a very brief but very sexy story.
Ratings for “B is for Belt”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Short 8.0” by Wiley (wiley06@nym.alias.net). The woman is running
though the woods when she is thrown to the ground and raped. I get a
little upset sometimes at these stories that suggest that women generally
enjoy being raped. As I read the story, however, I had to grudgingly
admit that it was at least a good description of the events and emotions
as the rapist would perceive them. However, by the end of the story
Wiley had convinced me that it was reasonable to believe that a woman
could take pleasure in these activities as well. This is a very short
but vivid and well-written story.
However, there is no such thing as a “taunt” body. The author meant
“taut.”
Ratings for “Short 8.0”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“The Reward” by Bill Green (wgreen@netcom.com). I usually prefer to
wait until multi-chapter stories are finished before posting my review.
This author asked for a review now rather than later. Since this is an
excellent story, the author deserves a Reward; and so here is the review.
Until now, my favorite mind control story was Backrub’s “Wet Dreams,”
which I ranked as the Number 43 story of 1995. This story is even
better. To be honest, I HAVE enjoyed other mind control stories, but in
the back of my mind I always get the feeling that they are simplistic.
That is, they suggest that a college sophomore can read a book on
hypnosis and thereafter have his way with any woman he wants. This one
is different; it is genuine science fiction. The Power goes beyond mind
control; the explanation for the power sounds like it’s based on an
esoteric application of quantum physics. The beginning of the story
delineates the rules that the recipient of the power must follow. The
results are delightful!
The hero accidentally releases from captivity a mysterious being and is
rewarded by the Power to control thoughts and actions within a restricted
range. He initially tries the Reward out on his spoiled-brat step-sister
with remarkable success. Then he tries it out with a traveling companion
during a two-hour plane flight. As he uses his power, he learns about
his Reward and modifies his guidelines for using it. I can’t wait to see
the next chapters!
I suspect that the author is a person with some background in computer
programs. His instructions to the Power appear to be mini-scripts
containing commands that typically might become computer programs in a
language like C++. However, this is not C++. It’s easily an A.
My only problem with this story (and it’s not a significant one) is that
the narrator’s fantasies often do not correspond with my own. All that
means, however, is that if you get off on the idea of fantasizing about a
woman with basketball-size breasts dressed only in corset and a set of
leather boots with six-inch stiletto heals, you’ll probably enjoy the
story even more than I did.
Ratings for “The Reward”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Married with Children” by Uncle Mike (fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu).
It’s Bud’s birthday, and he has decided to take care of his own presents
this year. To make a long story short, he tricks his sister and
eventually his mother into having sex with him by making them think they
are helping him with his magic tricks. This is not a bad story, but it’s
not up to some of the brilliant stuff Uncle Mike has written in the past.
Although the present story is closer to perfect stylistically and
grammatically, I thought the “Married with Children” story posted a month
ago by King Pach (reviewed in CR 128) was a much more interesting
episode.
Ratings for “Married with Children”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
“Olsen Twins: Deadly Call” by Jazz411 (x@super.x). Let me explain this
to you carefully. The Olsen twins are staying home alone. The story
doesn’t say how old they are, but from their actions I’ll guess 10 or 11.
They make some prank phone calls. The second call is to the house of a
young woman who is just that very second being killed by a homicidal
maniac. This villain traces their call and comes to their house, where
he binds them securely and tickles them. That’s right, he tickles them.
Then he gets ready to kill them with his big ole knife, but instead he
sticks it into the floor and goes away. One of the girls gets free, and
she tickles her sister. Then she releases her sister, and they both go
to bed, hoping that they don’t have nightmares.
If this is the work of a 10-year-old author, it’s actually pretty good -
naive, but good. Presumably that author might have submitted it to this
newsgroup because he/she has no clear concept of what sex is. If this is
written by an adult writer, there’s plenty of room for improvement. Like
having a plot and following rules of logic and grammar.
Maybe this is satire, and I just missed the point. Perhaps the author is
suggesting in a subtle way that the silly activities in which these
characters engage are just as sensible as some of the other things
characters do in other stories. I just don’t get it.
Ratings for “Olsen Twins: Deadly Call”
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 4
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3
“Alyssa's Song” by The Rebel (smoot2@ix.netcom.com). Eric has
corresponded and chatted with Alyssa via Internet, and now he has
traveled to meet her at a party organized by the people who operate the
chat room. She invites him to meet her privately in her hotel room
rather than in the more crowded party room. Eric is impressed by the fact
that she is not wearing shoes, but her toenails are painted the same
color as her bra. I’ll have to think about that and let it sink in for a
moment. We also learn that Eric habitually violates the Latin dictum
“semper ubi sub ubi”.
The author sounds like a person who really wants to improve his writing,
and so I’m going to make some detailed suggestions here. In doing this I
do not mean to give the impression that this is an especially bad story.
It’s already a decent story, but it could become much better. It’s also
the sort of story that can serve as a good lesson for other authors.
Remember: there are several stories in this very issue of CR that
received lower ratings than this one.
The story could be improved by more thorough proofreading. For example,
key words are occasionally omitted {For example, the word “part” has
mysteriously been replaced by a blank space on several occasions.}; and
outside the Appalachian regions of the southern United States “of” does
not follow “inside” in phrases like “inside her pussy.” Sentences like
the following should be repaired: “Taking a few more licks at her wet
pussy, rose up, pulled her head back by her hair and kissed him, her own
juices fresh on her lips.”
The author has a vivid picture in mind; he has simply failed to
communicate it to us as clearly as it exists in his own imagination. The
grammar errors are part of the reason, but word choice and sentence style
also present obstacles.
There’s a line in “Paradise Lost” that literary critics consider to be
the worst line in all of poetry: “He viewed the dismal situation.” It’s
hard to put a finger on what’s wrong with that line - in fact, the
situation was about as dismal as it could get; but the experts agree that
the line pretty much sucks. While The Rebel certainly writes better than
Milton, his prose has a similar problem. Look at the following passage:
Eric's thrusting began to increase as well, and pretty soon,
they were both moaning and panting and thrusting at one
another. Eric reached down and replaced her hands with his
own briefly, when she asked him to get up so she could lay
on her back.
There’s a problem with the commas, and “lay” should be “lie”; but I think
the main difficulty is that prose is too workmanlike. It should convey a
greater intensity - more emotion - a feeling of what’s really going on in
the minds and bodies of the participants. I refuse to fall into the trap
of telling you exactly what the author SHOULD say, because then you could
jump all over me. But I encourage you to take a shot at it; how would
you express those lines?
I think I would focus on Eric rather than on his thrusting: “Eric
increased his own intensity” or “Eric countered Alyssa’s love sounds with
an increase in his own intensity” or “by plowing more deeply into her
furrow.” Actually, I have no idea what to say; it’s not my story, and I
don’t know these people as well as the author does. I just think the
prose could be improved by giving it more spark. My best advice to this
author (and to others like him) is to look at the writings of other
outstanding authors and to try to see what makes their writing so good.
Two writers who are noteworthy for their excellent choice of words are
Mark Aster and Mary Anne Mohanraj.
Finally, I would suggest improving the plot by putting a little more
tension into it. Plots are more interesting when the reader is
occasionally surprised by what happens. The author should have an
“angle.” In this case, the title expresses the “angle”- the lovemaking
is like a song. The author tries to incorporate this theme, but he needs
to improve that focus without hitting us over the head with it.
I know I’m going to offend someone with the following suggestions, but
here are some authors worth imitating for specific purposes:
In addition to Mark and Mary Anne, the Mark who writes the Alphabet
Stories is a genius at word choice. You may enjoy their stories because
they make you horny; I enjoy them because I marvel at their word choice -
which, of course, is what makes English teachers horny.
If you’re looking for help on plot development, Ann Douglas, SueNH, Friar
Dave, and Javahead are great at developing detailed plots that include
really hot sex at just the right times. Some of these people have what I
think are imitators - I think Tom in Sacramento writes just like SueNH.
Stephanie is capable of building incredibly creative transgender plots
around almost any topic. Dirty Dawg specializes in guys who see the
light and correct mistakes in their former love lives. Delta builds
fascinating plots around normal people with a touch of kinkiness;
actually, Delta writes very well about almost anything.
The Ng Sisters (Deidre and Tammy) are noteworthy for the simple
exuberance of their stories.
Vickie Tern is superb at making a simple situation incredibly complex and
then making it all make sense again in the end.
Estragon does a wonderful job of integrating feminist philosophy into
interesting story lines.
Uther Pendragon is a master of intelligent bantering between people who
are in love.
Shelby Bush and Uncle Mike write outstanding parodies of movies and
sitcoms.
Deirdre is the mistress of what I’ll call terse irony. You figure out
what that means! Dulcinea’s stories are as short and to the point as
Deirdre’s, but invariably with an uplifting twist that makes me wish I
had been there.
My point is not to offer a litany of praise to the great writers on
a.s.s. This has been only a partial list, and many of these writers
display expertise in areas other than those I have cited. My point is
that authors can improve their writing tremendously by the simple
expedient of pausing to think what it is that makes a favorite writer so
enjoyable.
I also want to remind you that I offer a free proofreading service. I
have the names and addresses of a large number of friendly people (many
of them authors on this newsgroup) who are willing to proofread stories
before they go to press. It is a loosely organized service, and
sometimes it doesn’t work. But most people who have tried it have found
it to be profitable. If you want help with your stories let me know; and
also contact me if you are willing to proofread for someone else.
Ratings for “Alyssa's Song”
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
“Happening” by Vickie Tern (VickieTern@aol.com). The author sent me a
note with this one that said that this story was to have been very short
- like one of Deirdre’s stories. But the characters outwitted her, even
as they outwitted each other and the plot outwitted them; and it took
time and space for her to head them off, haul them back, and make them
behave. I used my word count; that’s 80,278 characters - as in 18,361
words!
If you ever become trapped as a character in a Vickie Tern story, here’s
my advice to you: if you want to maintain your personal autonomy and
gender identity, do not be unfaithful to your spouse under the impression
that he/she will not know. Not only will he/she know, he/she is probably
engineering it; and very soon he/she will be the proper pronoun to refer
to you. Oh! and also be especially skeptical if you are male and the
female participant values your sexual activities but does not appear to
consider your penis to be an integral part of your amorous interactions
with her. And if there is more than one female in the story, be very
careful - you may be wrong about who is really in charge of your life.
Your best bet is to find a kindly priest, minister, or rabbi and follow
the conservative moral advice given to you by that counselor. On the
other hand, if personal autonomy and gender identity are not high on your
list of priorities, go with the flow; it might be fun.
Ignoring my initial advice, the hero (for lack of a better word) of this
story plunges into a romantic liaison with his sexy neighbor, who lets
him lick her pussy and insert his earnest ejaculations into her asshole,
provided he licks out the untidy remnants. What begins as a simple fling
soon becomes something much more complex. You see, the neighbor has a
husband with one of those monster cocks, and this husband has been
boinking the hero’s wife into heavenly bliss for the past several months.
As part of a revenge/love theme, our hero becomes a woman, so that he/she
can suitably serve all three of the others - to the happiness of all
four, of course. The plan assumes that some characters will misconceive
some other people's reasons, get them wrong, act accordingly, and then do
the right thing, while thinking they were doing something else. This
probably makes no sense whatsoever, unless you read the story.
I know a lot of readers think TG stories are just plain weird. Some may
be, but I have found the ones that have been sent to me for review to be
exceptionally creative. This one is no exception. To be honest, I did
not find this story to be sexy in the sense of a turn-on, but I did find
it to be extremely erotic in the sense of blending sex into a creative
plot that actually did make a lot of sense and really did speak
intelligently about human nature. This is one of this author’s better
stories!
Ratings for “Happening”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Slitfest” by Denise Q. The jealous boyfriend has gone out of the
country on a prolonged business trip. He calls every night to verify
that his girlfriend has not been with any other men. She truthfully says
that she has not violated their agreement, because she has been spending
her time with several other women! The sex is detailed and explicit and
sometimes very hot. The only problem I found with the story was that
sometimes the timing or sequencing of events was a bit off.
Ratings for “Slitfest”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
“Donny and Andrea” by Diane Morgan. This is the sort of story that bugs
me. It was posted by the THC service. It’s the very beginning of an
apparently well written story, but it stops after about 70 lines and says
“To be continued.” The THC service posted only this one part; and for
all we know Diane Morgan may have gotten religion and never finished the
story, finished it with a really great ending, or who knows what? Why do
people post obviously incomplete stories? Beats me.
(No rating)
“The Black Knight: An Erotic Adventure” by Alan Barclay
(editor@spellbinder.bc.ca). Sir Englebert the Ungainly is in the midst of
a rather hectic adventure when he comes upon a naked woman - I mean fair
maiden - tied to a stake. The young lady is the nearby village's offering
to one of the great beasts of the forest to persuade that monster to
spare their homes from destruction. If the dragon devours her, he cannot
then in good conscience attack the village. It was a sensible thing for
the villagers to do, and the good knight very nearly rides on by. But
there’s something about the fragile beauty of a damsel in distress with
her naked body dangling like a misplaced modifier from a stake so that
her breasts....
This is the sort of story that really upsets me! It includes a focus on
sex slavery and a large amount of spanking - but that’s not what upsets
me. After all, this is a story about chivalry, and chivalry has specific
Rules. For example, a chivalrous person must always open doors for lady
of rank equal to or higher than his own, allow an opponent to be armed
before he lops off his head or blows his brains out, and accept sex
slaves when they are assigned to him and treat them as their status
deserves. No, that’s not what bothers me. What upsets me is that at the
time I am reading this story, I already have TWENTY-ONE stories on my Top
15 List for this month; and here I am reading number TWENTY-TWO! In
today’s mail I received the “J” story from Mark who does the Alphabet
series. I’m going to wait until December 4 to review it. I can’t stand
any more really excellent stories this month!
The only significant problem with the story was this sentence: “I told
her that I labored under a curse; that I could not enjoy a woman who was
well and recently spanked.” Actually, the opposite was true: he could
not enjoy a woman UNLESS she was well and recently spanked. It’s a big
difference, but I figured the curse correctly from the context. Since
the story was otherwise so good, I decided to forgive this one sin.
Anyway, this is a really excellent story. I don’t want to ruin it for
you, but I’ll advise you that it’s meant to be funny. Thomas Mallory and
Alfred Tennyson may have taken knighthood seriously, but more recent
authors have discovered that knights were really funny people.
This story was presented by Lust So Stories. Since it was a good one, I
might was well cite their web page: http://spellbinder.bc.ca/lss/
Ratings for “The Black Knight”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* “Spring” by deirdre . This is a story about a college girl who
learns about hypnotism, and suddenly the people around her find
themselves doing things that they cannot control. You know, yesterday
after I read this story, I spent three hours reading a.s.s. stories,
when I should have been doing something else. You don't think.... No,
hypnotism can't be done across the Internet - or can it? Why does
Deirdre always get such high ratings from me? Why do I get this warm
feeling in my...
Ratings for “Spring”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Stars" by Deirdre. The high school girl has to wait around for her
friend at a party where everyone is pairing off - er, grouping off -
for sexual fun and games. She is shocked to see one of her favorite
female teachers from the high school having a good time at the party.
Eventually she gets drafted to drive the teacher home; and then the
teacher makes a pass at her. The girl passes on the pass - and wonders
what might have been. But wait! It's the ole story-within-a-story
trick! The tale I just summarized is actually a short story written by
a young high school girl who has a crush on her female English teacher;
and she has just shown the story to the teacher; and she's hoping that
her feelings will be reciprocated.
This was a creative story. My only problem is that I could not figure
out why it was entitled "Stars." I ran a search for "star" in the
story, and I found that the word appeared five times embedded in the
word "start" and four times as part of "stare." It also appeared twice
as in starlight; so I guess that's the significance of the title.
Maybe the title was a decoy: "Story" would have been a giveaway; and
"Teacher" was already the name of another Deirdre story. Ignore the
title; just check this one out!
This story also specifically raises the question whether everybody's a
little bit bisexual; but after the reaction I got last time I raised
that question, I'm not going to touch that one with a 10-foot dildo!
Ratings for "Stars"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "Storm" by Deirdre. "Janet was very particular to warn me to do my
best to make Stacy feel at home." With these words in the second
paragraph the author gives away the basic plot of the story. My theory
is that Stacy, whom the wife remembers as something of a frump and
extremely shy around men, will be a conniving, horny dominatrix who will
get the narrator to have relatively non-traditional sex with her. Either
that or (more likely) Stacy will seduce Janet while hubby looks on.
First, let me admit that I was wrong. Second, let me point out that I
think Deidre wrote the following lines with no pun intended:
"OK," Janet finally said to me, "do her ass!"
"Honey!" I managed to ejaculate.
I say no double meaning was intended, because the guy obviously did not
cum at this time. In spite of this faux pas, this is an excellent story.
From a psychological perspective, however, I'm not sure most women would
be as grateful as Stacy was for getting over her fear of thunderstorms.
Ratings for “Storm”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* “Summer" by Deirdre. The substitute gym teacher tells the young
narrator to come to her office later in the afternoon. He does so, and
he is instructed to fuck his beautiful English teacher while the gym
teacher corrects papers. Eventually, however, hubris takes over and he
and one of the cheerleaders (whom I forgot to tell you about) go too far
and start fucking the English teacher at home during the summer without
the gym teacher's permission. Therefore, they get punished. This story
is somewhat unrealistic, because it suggests that adolescents think with
their hormones and don't follow directions very well. Also, I object to
the idea that it's OK to fuck one's English teacher if one gets the gym
teacher's permission first; and who ever heard of a gym teacher
correcting papers anyway?
A surprising element of this story is that the English teacher's name is
Ms. Sherwood. Coincidence? I think not! For the significance of this
name, please refer to CR 54 or to any of the other places in which I
discuss my theory that Deirdre is the reincarnation of Sherwood Anderson.
This is another weird but excellent story by Deirdre.
Ratings for “Summer”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* “Surprise" by Deirdre. The man and his wife make romantic love on the
afternoon of their fifth anniversary. That evening they are visited by
her old biker boyfriend, who ignores the woman and fucks the guy in the
ass, while his wife proclaims her love for the biker. Naturally, this
leads to an improvement in their sex life and to further experimentations
with bondage. I'll admit this all sounds a little lame, but the contrast
between the two halves makes this a very interesting story - even though
it perpetuates the silly myth that bikers are typically something less
than sensitive, poetic individualists.
Ratings for “Surprise”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* “Swap" by Deirdre. The narrator and his wife become interested in
the idea of swinging, and they spot a couple with whom they would like
to switch spouses. After some brief preliminaries, the other couple
agrees, but only under the conditions that the man and his wife first
strip naked and do whatever they are told to do. This may sound fair;
but if anyone ever makes this offer to you and your significant other,
you should factor into your decision the possible consequences of
becoming sex slaves.
Ratings for “Swap”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
* “Sweet" by Deirdre. Two of her friends show up at the door, saying
they are there to go swimming with the man's girlfriend. When he tells
them that she'll not be home for an hour, they say they'll wait in the
living room. When he goes to take his shower, he finds them both
joining him. What does a good host do in this situation, and what does
this have to do with the title of the story? Now, there's a creativity
exercise for you! You probably think that he'll fuck both of the
visitors plus his girlfriend in their asses within the next hour or so
and that his girlfriend will leave him to move in with one of the
visitors while the other continues to live with him. That's what
happens, but you'll have to read the story to find out how it got that
title.
Ratings for “Sweet”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* “Tape" by Deirdre. As I approached this story my main uncertainty
was whether the title referred to a videotape that would be used to
blackmail the protagonists or to duct tape with which someone would be
bound for the purpose of sexual exploitation and amusement. The story
begins with a man drinking too much, flirting with another woman, and
being caught in the act by his wife, who promptly leaves him. He begs
and grovels. Soon he makes the fatal but inevitable promise in a
Deirdre story: "I'll do anything if you'll come back." At this point,
either type of tape was still a good possibility; but when the woman
bound the guy with rope and gagged him with a rag, I knew a videotape
was involved. I don't want to give away the ending; but I will say
that I was basically right about the videotapes and blackmail, and
there's a muscular guy and a lot of anal sex in this story. If you'll
pardon the pun, everything works out all right in the end - I think.
Ratings for “Tape”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* “Teacher" by Deirdre. As I neared the midpoint of this story, I was
more than a little irritated. This was too easy. I had easily guessed
from the very start that when the sweet young narrator went to the
office of the school nurse after school for a massage, the
"ministrations" would become erotic. I was not at all surprised that a
blindfold was involved, and at mid-story it was obvious to me that
those hooks all over the place would play a role in bondage. The
problem, of course, is that Deirdre is only a mediocre storyteller when
the story contains only predictable events. But wait! The first half
was only a setup for a completely different story line. All is right
in the world. I wasn't even close in my prediction of the ending of
this story.
While reading "Teacher," I was hit by a possible story line for a great
story. In it the typical Deirdre ending would be presented as the
normal environment at the *beginning* of the story. Then normal, well-
adjusted sex would be the ending. For example, a young girl would find
a feeling of amazing sexual liberation in the fact that she visited her
grandmother and the old lady gave her cookies and milk and talked to
her about sports and schoolwork instead of blindfolding her and
caressing her clitoris while forcing the girl to lick the cleaning
lady's cunt.
At any rate, even though this story describes events that would be
extremely improbable in any school I know of outside of Clyde or
Sulphur Springs, this was a thoroughly enjoyable story.
Ratings for “Teacher”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* “Tech" by Deirdre. The "tech" is a medical technician, whose friend
convinces her that they could get their kicks by having patients go a
little further than necessary with regard to nudity and other sex-
related activities. It turns out that her friend runs a bdsm service
in her basement where people drop in to have their sexual fantasies
fulfilled in a simulated medical environment. Even Deirdre nods, with
this Freudian slip: "The poor man was so embarrassed, leaning over the
table with Rose's gloved finger right in his rear. I felt for him."
Puns are usually not part of Deirdre's repertoire. This story seemed
to lack plot or coherence; it was just a series of quasi-sexual events
chained together.
Ratings for “Tech”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
* “Temp" by Deirdre. The narrator of this story is a woman who
purports to be a non-lesbian who nonetheless often engages in lesbian
fantasies. Actually, that's putting it mildly; she seems to be unable
to look at another woman without thinking about what it would be like
to kiss or fondle her. And so, one week there's a temp working in the
office, who has a different attitude than the other women. What role
will she play in our heroine's life and fantasies?
Ratings for “Temp”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* “Trial" by Deirdre. This story seemed so natural to me. Two Deirdre
characters are chatting, and one says, "What's new in your life?"
"Nothing much," comes the reply. "No, really. I want to know,"
responds the first. "OK. My husband and I have gotten into kinky sex.
You should try it some time." The conversation seemed so ordinary and
natural that I was hardly surprised in the next scene to find the
narrator comfortably hidden in her friend's closet... Well, I guess you
should read the story yourself to find out what happens. It's a really
simple but bizarre story that leads the reader in some interesting
directions.
Ratings for "Trial"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* “Trip" by Deirdre . Something has gone awry in the Universe. As you may
know, I have a theory that Deirdre is really Sherwood Anderson reincarnated.
Now I discover that she's my husband!! Or perhaps Sherwood Anderson has
bilocated while being reincarnated. All I know is that when I nudged my
husband in the middle of the night a month or so ago and said, "Do you ever
think of doing it with another woman?" he replied, "A nice thought, but you
are all I want." Those very words appear in this story! I guess other
possible explanations are that Deirdre has been sleeping with my husband, that
Deirdre has a recording device in our bedroom, or that maybe millions of
husbands and wives regularly recite this same dialogue; but the bilocative
reincarnation is more in line with a Deirdre story.
A major difference is that the fictitious Deirdre is more persistent than the
real-life Celeste in bringing the threesome fantasy to fruition. Actually,
Deirdre has another one of her surprise endings here; and I doubt that you'll
guess it, even if you're looking for it.
Ratings for “Trip”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* “Try" by Deirdre. Try. v. (1) to attempt; (2) to put to the test (as
patience); (3) (law) to evaluate through a process of legal evidence;
(4) (naut) to lie to under just sufficient sale against the wind; n.
(5) (rugby) a play that scores three points; (6) (as in "old
college...") a sincere effort. As the preceding excerpts from my
dictionary show, there are several possible meanings for the title of
this story. Before starting the story, I'm pretty sure the nautical
definition will be irrelevant. I'll initially go with definition
number 1, as in "try to get some ass" - in a fairly literal (anal)
sense.
Oh, wow! My guess is looking good. Deirdre's disclaimer concludes
with, "This one is about a shy woman who has a secret desire for anal
sex." If you think about it, though, definition 5 might have been more
fun. After all, it takes leather balls to play rugby.
Well, I was right about the anal part, but the meaning of the title is
still ambiguous. A shy woman's friend asks her bluntly if she has ever
TRIED anal sex. The woman says no, and so it becomes the friend's
crusade to TRY to get her to TRY it with a dildo. The friend talks her
into taking a dildo home with her, into reading a magazine with letters
involving anal sex, and into visiting a video store with anal rentals.
Eventually, the friend and her boyfriend make a house call, and they
score - but I don't think the activity involved leather balls or three
points.
Ratings for “Try”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9