Celestial Reviews 136 - Nov 20, 1996
Note: I experienced problems this week with my AOL mailer. If you
have been futilely waiting to hear my reply to your kind words, it may
be because AOL made me lose some mail in order to “Reset my
FlashSession.” If that’s a problem, you may want to resend your e-mail
to me.
Second Note: When I write my reviews I generally have fun, and I get
the impression that readers enjoy reading these reviews. I have two
problems: (1) I have to find the tendency to give too many high
ratings. This is a serious problem. Stories have gotten better since
I have started reviewing (or at least I am reading better stories), and
it’s pointless to give them all perfect ratings. And so I try to crack
down on even the best writers once in a while. (2) I really don’t
want to offend the people who write these stories - especially the
authors who are so kind as to send me copies of their stories for
review. I would like to urge those readers who get miffed or upset
because I give them a “low” rating to recall that I am faced with the
problem cited in (1) above. Keep in mind that I have rated Deirdre
(whose stories I dearly love) as low as a 5, and some of my comments
about her certainly seem to be critical. Last issue I even jumped on
Ann Douglas (whose work I really and truly dearly love) for writing
from an improper perspective and for pandering to racial prejudices.
When I make negative comments, my assumption is that the authors
may profit from them and that my ideas may stimulate useful thoughts
among my readers. I am even willing to admit that I may be wrong
sometimes, and I enjoy reactions from my readers. Please keep in mind
that these reviews have an entertainment and (I hope) literary value
that goes beyond the simple positive or negative evaluation of a story.
Having said that, I submit the following reviews.
- Celeste
“Biker Weekend” by J. Boswell (gang rape of slutty wife)
10, 9, 8
“The Box” by Dulcinea (sex fantasy) 10, 8, 8
“Sandy” by Ann Douglas (romance & bdsm) 9.5, 10, 10
“Stake Out” by Michael Christian (outdoor sex) 10, 9, 9
“Elly” by Friar Dave (attitude adjustment) 9.5, 9, 9
“The Ongoing Adventures of Gorgeous Gracie” by Mary
Anne Mohanraj (sex with the sexy English teacher)
10, 10, 10
“Shower Surprise” by MD James (college sex) 10, 8, 8
“Virgin (On the Ridiculous)” by Jordan Shelbourne (farce &
romance) 10, 10, 10
“Jehovah Witness” by Unknown Author (rape & religious
rapture) 6, 6, 6
“Interpreter” by Mark (sexual innuendo) 10, 10, 10
“Greek to Me” by Karis (anal sex) 10, 9, 9
“Return to Fantasy Island” by Daniel Nikolic (sitcom bdsm)
10, 8, 8
* “Neighbor" by Deirdre (bondage & spanking) 10, 8, 7
* “Neighbor2" by Deirdre (I'm not sure) 10, 8, 8
* “Neighbor3" by Deirdre (whipping) 10, 8, 7
* “Niece" by Deirdre (ff sex) 10, 9, 9
* “Nurse" by Deirdre (sex with the doctor) 10, 7, 5
* “Older" by deirdre (spanking) 10, 10, 10
* “Other" by Deirdre (voyeurism & seduction) 10, 10, 10
* “Over" by Deirdre (Sex slavery) 10, 9, 8
* “Park" by Deirdre (Outdoor sex) 10, 8, 7
* “Partners" by Deirdre (D&s) 10, 8, 8
* “Party" by Deirdre (sex slavery & bondage) 10, 5, 5
* “Pat" by Deirdre (sex slavery & bondage) 10, 9, 9
* “Patient" by Deirdre (dominance) 10, 8, 7
* “Photo" by Deirdre (photographic voyeurism) 10, 10, 10
* “Plan" by Deirdre (bondage) 9, 8, 6
* “Pool" by Deirdre (voyeurism) 10, 8, 6
* “Practice" by Deirdre (dominance) 10, 8, 7
* “Preparation" by Deirdre (anal sex) 10, 10, 10
* “Program" by Deirdre (spouse watching) 10, 10, 10
* Repost of a previous review (because the story has recently
been reposted).
“Biker Weekend” by J. Boswell. The man and his wife (Amanda) are
kidnapped by bikers and their babes, and these people gang-rape the
wife for the entire weekend. The woman, of course, loves it; and -
except for having to sit in his own cum and urine because he is chained
to a workbench for the entire weekend - the guy likes it too. {I’m not
sure what happened to his fecal matter. Maybe they let him go to the
bathroom to defecate; but sometimes guys get too nervous to initiate
intinction when someone is watching. I’ve never thought of that as a
problem with a Boswell character before.} This is a well-written
example of the slutty wife genre of erotic literature.
A few questions might arise in the mind of the insightful reader.
First, is it really likely that a woman would LIKE to be gang-banged
for an entire weekend by dirty, rowdy bikers? Common sense would
suggest that the answer would be no; but remember: this lady is married
to a junior high math teacher. I think that explains a lot.
Second, why would they gang-bang her just for the weekend? This is
indeed a foolish question. Obviously, the bikers have to get back to
their jobs during the work week. From the brief descriptions in the
story, they sound pretty much like lawyers, doctors, and teachers to
me. I would have said school administrators, but nearly all of the
bikers ejaculated during heterosexual contact at least twice during a
single weekend; and so that tidbit rules out any school administrator I
have ever known. Other than that, my reasoning is fairly
straightforward. Some of the bikers were adept at intravenous
injections, which is prima facie evidence of the medical profession;
and wherever there are doctors, there are sure to be lawyers. In
addition, the “weekend” lasted from Friday to Thursday - which again
suggests doctors, lawyers, and teachers.
Finally, would a woman that had been viciously gang-raped by smelly
bikers really be likely to leave her husband and join the motorcycle
gang? Well, normally not; but then Patty Hearst did join the SLM and
rob banks (when I was a very little girl, of course). And besides, you
have to look at the alternatives this lady faced: Amanda was an
elementary school teacher married to a junior high math teacher. Under
those circumstances, her career choice is more understandable.
Ratings for “Biker Weekend”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
“The Box” by Dulcinea (dulcinea97@aol.com). My all-time favorite
episode of the old Dick Van Dyke Show is the one in which a mysterious
package arrives in the mail, addressed to Rob. Laura can’t resist
opening it, and an inflatable boat pops out and self-inflates - making
it impossible for Laura to conceal from Rob the fact that she had pried
into his mail. Well, this story bears no resemblance at all to that
episode. In the present story the package is addressed to the wife;
and it contains sexy clothing. She opens the package and tries the
clothing on and speculates about her husband’s reaction.
Ratings for “The Box”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
“Sandy” by Ann Douglas (annd55@nyc.pipeline.com). Last week I said
that readers “enjoy Ann’s stories because her characters act the way we
think we would act (or would like to act) in similar situations.”
Actually, I have to refine that statement to make it applicable to the
present story. I have never followed a hooker home or made love to one
in a train station, nor would I like to. On the other hand, I CAN
understand how a woman could act that way; and so I’ll still give Ann
credit for writing realistic stories about normal people.
The plot begins with Sandy becoming attached to the hooker (Jasmine),
as described in the preceding paragraph. Things escalate when Sandy’s
clod of a boyfriend rudely breaks up with her and she needs
companionship. You can probably guess where this is going - or at
least you think you can. Read the story and find out.
One of the reasons I like Ann’s stories is because they are generally
free of racial and ethnic stereotyping. For example, in the present
story Jasmine is Hispanic, and there is no suggestion that she is in
any way inferior to Sandy - in spite of the fact that Jasmine is the
prostitute and Sandy (who I presume is white anglo-American) is the
executive. So it was with some surprise that I read that Jamal
(Jasmine’s black boyfriend - not the stereotypical pimp) had “the
largest cock Sandy had ever seen.” I guess I should keep in mind that
statements like this are meant to be complimentary to the owner of the
cock; but the notion of Black men having “monster cocks” is simply a
myth. People who promote this stereotype may (inadvertently) be
advancing a notion that treats a large group of people as being in some
way more “animalistic” than “normal” people.
I have never directly examined the penis sizes of a large sample of
Black men; but my brother-in-law has. That’s because he is a black
man. After one of my previous reviews in which I ranted on this topic,
I managed to get him into a conversation. He’s super-religious and
would never understand how I could read these stories or write these
reviews, and so I told him about the stereotype that I had “heard on
Geraldo.” He got genuinely upset and started quoting valid medical
research to me that stated that there is no significant difference in
organ size between average members of the white and black races. I am
pretty sure he’s right. When he calmed down, he said he has verified
the published facts by direct but discreet observation in locker rooms
and in showers at the gym. It’s his opinion that “insecure” white
people try to set up the stereotype of the Black male as a stud in
order to scare white women or to dehumanize Blacks in general. I see
his point.
In Ann’s defense, if she wanted to have somebody have a monster cock, I
guess that could be a Black man as well as a White man. So I won’t put
her on my Bad List. Nor will I tell my brother-in-law about her.
Having been a tad negative, let me become more positive. I think Ann
does an excellent job of presenting bdsm activities in this story in a
way that makes them seem enjoyable to outsiders. I don’t have the same
fantasy that Sandy has - maybe my husband or I WILL get that fantasy
someday - but the domination activities seemed both hot and interesting
to me. I came away with the impression that this was a normal person
enjoying something that was a little different from what I myself
enjoy. I do NOT get that impression from all bdsm stories.
Finally, this story contains an example of a minor mistake about which
I think author’s should be more careful. The entire story is told from
Sandy’s point of view. Then suddenly we find these sentences: “Jasmine
felt her orgasm about to burst. She could tell that is wasn't going to
be a record breaker, but then again she hadn't expected it to be.”
There’s no way Sandy could have known what Jasmine’s feelings were, and
it would have been better to stick with Sandy’s point of view. The
author gets back to the proper perspective almost immediately: “Sandy
soon could feel Jasmine's body shudder as her legs pressed tighter
against her face. While she wasn't a gusher as Sandy sometimes was,
there was enough of an eruption for Sandy to feel proud of her
achievement.” It IS OK to take the viewpoint of the omniscient author
- to write as if the author knows the feelings and actions of
absolutely everybody in the story. However, in this case Ann clearly
intended to write from Sandy’s point of view, and it would have been
easily possible to do so; all she had to do was describe what Sandy saw
or felt Jasmine doing, instead of shifting to the inside of Jasmine’s
head. The same problem occurs a few other times in this story.
Ratings for “Sandy”
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Stake Out” by Michael Christian. Some guys who have been long-time
friends take their wives camping in Algonquin Park in Ontario. One day
they play a game where each of the wives is taken to a secluded spot in
a game of hostage. She is blindfolded and tied to a stake. The wife
who relates this story is pleasantly surprised when her husband returns
and starts to fondle her. Just prior to entry, the blindfolded woman
realizes that it’s not her husband after all!
Ratings for “Stake Out”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
“Elly” by Friar Dave. This author is good at hot, sexy romance. In
this story the initial flirtation and first lovemaking are especially
sexy. Then things take a serious turn. Elly is beautiful - her tits
are her nicest feature; but she has a severe emotional problem: she
thinks she is a slut because she is multiorgasmic. Our narrator gives
her the Quick Cure, and Elly happily realizes that being a slut as she
has defined it can be OK as long as she keeps it in perspective. This
is not Friar Dave’s best story, but it’s still very good! The sexual
descriptions are excellent, but the plot lacks complete integration.
A final comment. The narrator says, “I explained to her that if you
read for an hour a day, you read a couple of books a week. In thirty
years, that's around three thousand books.” There’s something wrong
here. That reasoning might apply to the kind of “books” you can buy
from greeting card displays, but I seriously doubt that serious readers
other than Evelyn Wood can read two good books in seven hours. On a
related note, however, I just realized that at the rate I’m going, in
30 years I will have read and reviewed 28,000 stories for this
newsgroup. Of course, by that time either my sex drive will have
declined or I’ll retire from teaching, and so I’ll have the time. And
maybe I’ll be able to read two books a week.
Ratings for “Elly”
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
“The Ongoing Adventures of Gorgeous Gracie” by Mary Anne Mohanraj
(mohanraj@mills.edu). I feel a strong affinity with the protagonist of
this story. Grace is a beautiful, dedicated English teacher. She is
so beautiful that she has to go to great lengths to prevent her
physical charms from interfering with her life’s goal of imparting
skills in the use of the English language to her college students. One
of her concerns is that she is ill fain {as Shakespeare might say} to
become romantically involved with a person less intelligent than
herself. Pete is a football jock - a veritable Herculean Adonis, but
doubtlessly a dumb jock. He has missed his class assignment, using the
excuse that he had been hit by a car and cracked several ribs while
helping a little old lady across the street on his way to class and had
to delay his rendition and explanation of the assigned Macbeth passage
for 24 hours. Grace suspects that this contrived explanation is merely
a lame excuse for Pete to meet with her in private and to look at her
boobs or to get into her pants. When his presentation is impeccable,
Grace is possessed by a wild desire to get into HIS pants. And then
there’s the surprise ending!
Ratings for “Gorgeous Gracie”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Shower Surprise” by MD James (na617268@anon.penet.fi). The guy is
taking a shower in the college dorm, when another guy drops his
girlfriend off and says he has to hide her there for a while. The girl
peeks into the guy’s shower. Later she arrives at his room (right next
door) and says that she feels guilty: since she saw him naked, it’s
only fair that he also see her naked. But then they realize that since
she had only had a peek and he had a full view, it really wouldn’t be
fair until she had a full view too. {These are obviously ethics
students.} Then, since it would be a shame to waste two full views....
Ratings for “Shower Surprise”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
“Virgin (On the Ridiculous)” by Jordan Shelbourne (jordan@u36.com).
Larry and Tara are roommates. They have a chaste relationship; no sex
- they just live together. Tara has a boyfriend named Cliff who
doesn’t want to deflower a virgin. He says it’s too important a
decision to make in the heat of passion, and he doesn’t want to hurt
Tara. So Tara concludes that if Larry would make love to her just
once, then she wouldn’t be a virgin anymore; and then Cliff will be
willing to boink her. As the title says, this is verging on the
ridiculous; but it’s quite enjoyable.
I won’t tell you more about this delightful story. You should read it
yourself. It’s like a really good episode of “Three’s Company” (if
such an oxymoron is possible) - except that this time “Two’s Company.”
Although literary critics would possibly classify this as farce, it
contains gems of wisdom, like this one: “I hate waiting to dry my hands
under those blowers, and you know, it's ten times worse if you're
holding up a drunk who's drying his hands.” The story is a wonderful
combination of sweet, sexy, and hilarious.
Ratings for “Virgin (On the Ridiculous)”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Jehovah Witness” by Unknown Author. I don’t want to offend the
author, but these people are called Jehovah’s Witnesses. In addition,
they almost always travel in twos and are usually noteworthy for their
scrupulous, moral probity. In addition, JWs don’t give a flying fuck
about Saint Margerite (sic) who was martyred by the Celts of Britain.
So we have to approach this story with a grain of salt.
The story takes place in Australia, where Lauren (a JW missionary - but
that’s redundant, because they are all missionaries) comes across a
small group of aboriginal philosophers who are discussing the
relationship between tit size and pussy tightness. The men rape her,
of course; but since the playful pagans help her overcome the
repressive restraint so typical of religious zealots, she eventually
comes <g> to enjoy their hedonistic ritual. In fact, in the midst of
the exercise she “flies towards Nirvana” - an indication, perhaps, that
she had been a Buddhist nun in a previous life.
The ratings I gave this story are way too generous, but I just couldn’t
resist the temptation to give this story three sixes. {Since
scriptural exegesis is not a prerequisite for reading these reviews, I
guess I should point out that 666 is the “number” of the antichrist.”
I know that because a Jehovah’s Witness told me so!}
Since I made you read this review, I offer the following as an apology:
Q: How many Jehovah’s Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 102. Two (as I said, they always strike in pairs) to change it and 100
to convince everyone else to change light bulbs too.
A: Two (see above), and thirty sinners to see the light.
OR
Q. What do you get when you cross a devil-worshipper with a Jehovah's
Witness?
A. Someone who goes from door to door and tells people to go to hell.
OR MAYBE
Q: What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Hell's Angel
Biker?
A: Someone who comes to your door on Sunday and tells YOU to fuck off.
Ratings for “Jehovah Witness”
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
“Interpreter” by Mark (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk). The man is sitting at
a boring meeting of the European Commission, listening to a boring
interpreter translate a boring speech to him. Then there’s a pause in
the action, and the voice of the boring interpreter is replaced by the
sexy voice of a mysterious and mellifluous woman who starts working
sexual innuendoes into the translation. The man realizes that he’s the
only person getting the English feed, and so some hot one-on-one action
seems to be in order. This is really creative stuff!
Ratings for “Interpreter”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Greek to Me” by Karis. This is a vivid description of hot, friendly,
and spontaneous anal sex. No story; just an anal quickie. A very
nice, anal quickie.
Ratings for “Greek to Me”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
“Return to Fantasy Island” by Daniel Nikolic
(gdnikoli@descartes.uwaterloo.ca). “De plane, de plane!” shouts
Tattoo, and this week’s group of beautiful social rejects deplane one
at a time in anticipation of their opportunity to fulfill their secret
fantasies in the island kingdom of Mr. Roarke, whose name sounds
strangely like the sound a flatulent fat man would make when he cuts
one loose in the bath tub. As you may have suspected, Roarke has a
dark side; and the fantasies that are fulfilled in this episode are not
of the wholesome variety that we encounter in the normal weekly episode
of this Love Boat Wannabee.
Ratings for “Return to Fantasy Island”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* “Neighbor" by Deirdre. Instead of "Neighbor" this story should be
entitled "Well," because about half the paragraphs begin with that
word. Actually, Deirdre often alters her style; and this is one of her
weaker styles. The story focuses on a man and woman who quarrel and
ask a neighbor to adjudicate. She agrees, provided the couple will
agree to accept her punishment. If you ever find yourself in a Deirdre
story, never NEVER accept this condition. The woman decrees that both
of them have been acting like babies (which is true) and that they both
deserve a good spanking. As you can imagine, it is only a short step
to sex slavery.
I've read a lot of these spanking stories, and I still don't understand
them. As I see it, spanking - even when it is severe and inflicts
serious pain - is supposed to have a mystical, magical power that turns
the recipient on sexually. And if the person doing the spanking is
minimally clever, the recipient will become that person's permanent sex
slave. This just defies logic to me. The person doing the spanking
(in this case, the neighbor) is a Benefactor - for the good of the
others she forgoes spankings herself and instead beats the shit out of
other people so that they can be happy.
Did Abe Lincoln do a serious disservice when he freed the slaves?
History tells us that chattel slaves in America were sort of upset
about their condition. Shouldn't they have been thankful for the
orgasms they were undoubtedly getting from the beatings they received?
The crux of the matter is this. If somebody brutally beat my naked ass
with a whip and if I would have a choice of either giving that person a
resounding orgasm in return or blowing his brains out with a shotgun, I
would choose the latter. I think most women would - OK, so we might
call the cops instead; but we'd expect the asshole to be punished, not
rewarded. Yet in all these stories the recipient of the beating
chooses the former course of action.
On a lighter note, an important question that I have is this: Should I
be getting an orgasm whenever I read a Henry James novel or short
story? To me they are as painful as a severe beating; but I usually
get either drowsy or frustrated when I try to read one of his stories.
I don't think Deirdre is recommending that we all find ourselves a
similar Benefactor. I think she has written a relatively good bondage
and spanking story.
Ratings for "Neighbor "
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
* “Neighbor2" by Deirdre. Brenda is the sexy neighbor. Lauren is her
sexy daughter. One day the Guy who tells the story happens to look at
Brenda as she drives away and Lauren insightfully suggests that the Guy
might like to fuck Brenda. She promises to make all the arrangements.
He forgets about the conversation, but one day Lauren invites him to a
motel. When the Guy arrives, Lauren is seated outside a motel room and
explains that she has told Brenda that a rich guy (other than Our Guy)
would like to fuck her blindfolded and in handcuffs. Brenda, who would
presumably not have sex with Our Guy if she were simply asked to do so,
has agreed to this plan of action. The Guy enters the room, and
everything is as Lauren described.
Now at this point, stop and think. What are the chances that Our Guy
is going to enter the motel room, fuck Brenda, and then happily go on
with his life?
If you guessed that something kinky was going to happen, you were
right. The camcorder that I forgot to tell you about would have been a
good clue. Anyway, all this kinky stuff improves the Guy's and his
wife's sex life - and, as they say, no harm no foul! This was a
strange story!
Ratings for "Neighbor2"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* “Neighbor3" by Deirdre. "I had this vision of discovering an amazing
thing about my neighbors." Thus spake Deirdre in her prologue. Now I
want you to understand that I have the greatest respect for Deirdre.
However, I also have a vague fear that she may be MY neighbor. And I
want to stress that I don't really think that Deirdre is a pervert.
After all, if we look at Alfred Hitchcock, Sherwood Anderson, and Edgar
Alan Poe, at least one of them was pretty much a sane, stable member of
society. Nevertheless, when I read this prologue, I couldn't help
anticipating that Deirdre was going to discover something a little more
shocking than that her neighbors were aliens who used their basement to
sell Tupperware to Jehovah's Witnesses.
Actually, I was a bit disappointed. What these people do, they do in
the privacy of their backyard, surrounded by a big, high fence. Why do
you think people have those fences, and what do you think we call them
privacy fences? I've seen kinkier neighbors in over half of Deirdre's
stories. I think this one would have benefited from some aliens or
some Tupperware or even some Jehovah's Witnesses. Nevertheless, this
was an excellent review, and I still respect Deirdre.
Ratings for "Neighbor3"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
* “Niece" by Deirdre. "Doesn't it affect you to see someone like
that?... Don't you ever think of having sex with her?... Good, I'll ask
her!" It's conversations like this between niece and aunt that make
aunts yearn for the good ole days when discussions of sex with
adolescents was taboo! Nevertheless, Deirdre is back in form here -
interesting twists and surprises in the plot! I was left mildly
disappointed at the ending. I was expecting a few more surprises.
Deirdre or somebody oughta write "Niece2" or "Neighbor4" or "Affect" -
any of which, of course, would be this story with a different ending.
Ratings for "Niece "
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* “Nurse" by Deirdre. A nurse who is new to her job realizes halfway
through her first day of work that the doctor seems to have only female
patients and that they all seem to be exhausted when they leave his
office. So, what's the story about? If you are a new reader to a.s.s.
you might surmise that in your dirty mind you have already figured out
the plot: the doctor is boinking the patients. But this is a Deirdre
story. It can't be as simple as that. Well, actually, there's a
little more to it than that, but not much. This is not an awful story,
it's just not as creative as most of Deirdre's work.
Ratings for "Nurse "
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
* “Older" by deirdre. Weird!
Ratings for "Older "
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* “Other" by Deirdre. Where does Deirdre get her ideas for these
stories? This one is kind of hard to summarize. The nextdoor neighbor
wants the woman to have sex with him, but she resists, out of a
misguided feeling that fidelity to her husband is important. His
theory is that the woman must surely be suffering by not having sex
with him, and certainly her husband would not want her to suffer like
that; but the woman resists the temptation. So one day she comes home
and finds her husband tied up, blindfolded, and masturbating. The
neighbor leads her into the room, confuses the man about who is jacking
him off, and then manages to fuck the wife while the man fantasizes
about what is really happening in front of his blindfolded eyes.
There! That's not so unusual, is it?
Ratings for "Other "
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* “Over" by Deirdre. When I was halfway through this story, I paused
and realized that unless I had known that it had been posted on
alt.sex.stories and had been written by Deirdre, I would have had no
way to know that it was about sex. So far it could have been a story
in a magazine at my dentist's office: an artist has been flown to New
York by Beatrice Moreau, a wealthy woman who has admired the artist's
work and wanted to meet her. To be honest, if I were in my dentist's
office, I would at this point have set the story aside and started
reading the New Yorker or that stupid photography magazine that all
dentists have in their office. But this story was by Deirdre, so I
assumed that the unwary artist was going to become a sex slave of the
rich woman and would enjoy every perverse moment of her new vocation.
Her life as an artist would be "Over" - hence the title.
After my pause, I smirked as a servant wearing nothing more than a
diaphanous gown (and perhaps a subtle smile) removed the artist's empty
glass. I was on the right track! But I'll let you read this story to
find out for yourself what happens. Let me just point out that if a
beautiful French woman offers to pay you royally to pursue your
profession and bestows upon you a beautiful sex slave or two for you to
use as your whims dictate, you might want to look the gift horse in the
mouth before it's all over.
Ratings for "Over "
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* “Park" by Deirdre. Two people stop to take a look at the scenery and
the girl unexpectedly gives the guy a blow job. This isn't really much
of a story, but I thought it was very sexy.
Ratings for "Park "
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
* “Partners" by Deirdre. It has been a long time since I tried to
predict a Deirdre plot from its title alone. As you may recall, I
stopped making predictions because I was so successful - getting one
right out of the last fourteen that I attempted. Partners could be
about law partners - probably lesbians, one of whom dominates and beats
the other while that person enjoys it and begs for more. Or they could
be simply sex Partners - banging away like minks in heat. Or they
could be Partners in a common endeavor of some sort - like working
together to overcome world hunger, build a better mousetrap, or fuck
the brains out of someone else.
After reading the story, I can report that one of my guesses was
reasonably close. The overall premise is that a man discovers that a
woman is a lesbian and she tells him that she's not turned off to men -
there are just certain things that happen during sex with men that turn
her off; and if she can call all the shots she'll let the man have sex
with her. Actually, this is something I've often wondered about: why
wouldn't a girl who likes to have another girl fondle her pussy, suck
her clit, and ram a dildo up her ass enjoy the exchanging the same
favors with a nice guy; and if the guy likes doing these things, what's
the problem? In the world of Deirdre, at least, there is no problem.
Ratings for "Partners"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* “Party" by Deirdre. A girl with no social life and few social skills
is taken to a party by her roommate, who gets her to agree to bondage
games in exchange for mild sexual favors. The descriptions are
interesting, but the story doesn't really get off the ground. Maybe I
missed something.
Ratings for "Party"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
* “Pat" by Deirdre. I'm on a roll now. I have gotten one of Deirdre's
plots partially right in a row. So I am going to read just the first
paragraph of this story, and then I'll tell you the whole plot. The
narrator has returned home from college and finds that Mom has become
quite diffident, while sister Cheryl now exudes unusual confidence.
Piece of cake! Cheryl has obviously used mind control strategies to
turn Mom into her sex slave, probably under the supervision of an as-
yet-unintroduced dominatrix named Pat. Slight modification: drop Pat
the Dominatrix; in the second paragraph Cheryl PATS mom on the ass,
amply justifying the title and allowing me to apply Occam's razor to
eliminate the superfluous dominatrix.
After reading the story, I can tell you that I was so close that I'm
going to count this as two in a row. I think the dominatrix is actually
Myra's mother, about whom I could have known nothing in the first
paragraph. This is a weird story.
Ratings for "Pat"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* “Patient" by Deirdre. How do some people exercise mind control so
easily? Here we have a veteran nurse examining a very sexy woman who
happens to be wearing nothing but a smile. After the examination the
woman says to the novice nurse, "Be at my house tomorrow evening at
7:30." Of course, the nurse follows instructions, and the story ends
with her wearing a skimpy little dress getting ready to take a
whipping. How do some people exercise mind control so easily?
Ratings for "Patient"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
* “Photo" by Deirdre. In her disclaimer before this story Deirdre says
that she herself "discovered she was bisexual" during her senior year
of high school: she was watching a movie in which a female character
took off some of her clothes in an obvious sexual situation and she
found herself getting turned on. She adds that the closest she ever
actually came to an actual sexual experience with a female was when she
and one of her friends had watched a movie with a bisexual scene and
decided to try a kiss. That led to some fondling, but it stopped far
short of orgasm or even full frontal nudity. Deirdre says she will
always be monogamous with her heterosexual husband, but these
experiences lead her to believe that she "is" bisexual.
I have all the respect in the world for Deirdre, but I simply have to
disagree with her disclaimer. If the word "bisexual" means anything,
it should *exclude* someone through its definition. It has been my
observation that the female world can conveniently be divided into two
groups: those who admit to being turned on by other sexy women and
those who lie about it and deny that they are turned on in this way.
Women who deny they are turned on by other sexy women have invariably
had something happen to make them repress their feeling of attraction.
I'm not saying that anyone is sick or even that this repression is
especially desirable or undesirable; I don't even believe that society
would be all that much better if more women actively lusted after their
female coworkers or patted their teenage daughters on the ass. I'm
simply saying that unless something impinges on a person's existence
(such as unpleasant personal experiences or societal taboos) any normal
woman would be turned on to see two sexy supermodels grind their bodies
together. There are plenty of good reasons not to go around looking
for opportunities to witness such activities and even better reasons
not to participate; but I don't see anything to be gained by suggesting
that women who feel this kind of interest and attraction are the ones
who are unusual.
The same thing can be said about men. I think they also have a natural
tendency to be turned on by sexually exciting men as well as by hot
women - except to the extent that they have repressed this tendency.
Men have a stronger tendency to repress this than women - because there
is a greater stigma attached to this attraction, probably because
throughout history winning warriors have had a tradition of buttfucking
the losers. But I don't think a person should say that he "is" gay or
bisexual simply because he thinks another guy is hot.
I don't mean the preceding paragraphs to be derogatory toward
straights, gays, or bis. All I am saying is that these FEELINGS are
perfectly natural for almost everybody and that it is counterproductive
to say that you "are" bisexual just because you enjoy images or
isolated experiences that involve being turned on by sexy experiences
with both sexes. Based on what she tells us in the disclaimer, all
that Deirdre IS is "normal."
I make this a major point because I think it is especially relevant to
this newsgroup. The stories posted here give us the opportunity to
experience in a vicarious manner many activities that we cannot
(sometimes SHOULD not) experience in real life. I am not referring
simply to rape and other socially problematic behaviors, but also to
perfectly sane and sensible behaviors - like making love to a person of
the same gender as myself when I know full well that I am going to
devote myself for the rest of my life to a monogamous relationship with
a person of the male persuasion. I think keeping these insights in the
back of our minds can enable us to grow through our reading - even
while we enjoy the stories. Sometimes I think a good dirty story may
be a better growth experience reading Beowulf or even taking a whole
course in geometry.
Back to the story itself. A mother visits her college daughter and goes
for a swim while the child goes to cheerleading practice. The
daughter's roommate and some friends come into the room and find the
mother naked after a shower. I don't want to ruin the story for you by
disclosing the entire plot, but let me suggest that if you ever find
yourself in this position and someone in the group of young ladies
suggests taking just one little photograph, you should think over the
possible consequences before saying yes. And also remember that modern
technology makes it extremely easy to make copies of Polaroid pictures.
Ratings for "Photo"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* “Plan" by Deirdre. Here we have a really shy, plain woman who
suspects that others are into what she calls "kinky sex," and she longs
to be like them. She eventually works herself up to reading books and
watching videos that contain the kind of sex she thinks about. You'll
have to read the story to see how she eventually gets what she wants.
There's an awful lot of build-up to a very short climax in this story.
Not that that's bad - I just thought you might want to be warned.
Ratings for "Plan"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
* “Pool" by Deirdre. A woman is able to look from her attic into the
backyard of her sexy neighbor, where she observes nudity and various
sexual activities. Finally, she can stand it no longer and goes over
to join in the festivities herself. This is a longer than normal story
for Deirdre, but not that much more actually happens. I think this
story should have been a lot shorter.
Ratings for "Pool"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
* “Practice" by Deirdre. This is a story about people with "problems."
Specifically, it starts with a man who has a problem of feeling
uncomfortable when asked to undress in front of a nurse who happens to
be his nextdoor neighbor. The neighbor is willing to work overtime to
give him the practice he needs to overcome this problem. Soon they
progress to other problems that require KY lubricant and even duct tape
to overcome.
Ratings for "Practice"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
* “Preparation" by Deirdre. The man wants his wife to take it up the
ass. For a long time she refuses, but then one day she agrees - on one
condition: she wants him first to experience exactly what she will
experience, so that he will understand what he is asking of her. A
dildo will not do; if he wants to stick his penis up her ass, he should
be willing to take a live one up his first. This reasoning is so
simple and obvious that it's difficult to understand why the man would
even have second thoughts; but he does. Not only does the wife make
the suggestion, but she also teases him with her cute little ass until
he simply has to take the offer seriously. After all - just a few
minutes of discomfort for a lifetime of pleasure; and with proper
lubrication it wouldn't hurt much at all. Deirdre sets up this premise
nicely and carries it off very well.
Ratings for "Preparation"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* “Program" by Deirdre. After the couple spends an evening with the
wife's best friend, the wife tells the husband that she'd like him to
seduce the friend and fuck her in the ass. She even gives him detailed
instructions on how to seduce her and accomplish this task. And
there's more. This is grotesque stuff, but very realistic - sort of
like one of those recurring dreams I have that reside in that limbo
between good dreams and nightmares.
As many readers of these reviews already know, there is reason to
believe that Deirdre is actually the reincarnation of Sherwood
Anderson, the American short story writer who gained fame by writing
about the peculiarities of the hapless citizens of Clyde, Ohio. My own
recent research has cast new light on this matter. It seems that
Sherwood Anderson himself may have been the reincarnation of Lord
Chesterfield, who oddly enough may have been born in Clyde, England,
near Sherwood Forest, and whose real father's real name was possibly
Andrew. Of particular relevance to this review is one of Lord
Chesterfield's famous statement about sexual activity: "The pleasure is
momentary, the position is ridiculous, and the expense is damnable."
Deirdre herself couldn't encapsulate her stories with greater pith and
wisdom. This is getting spooky.
Anyway, this is a very good story.
Ratings for " Program "
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10