Celestial Reviews 124 - Oct 9, 1996
Note: If you are one of those people who get upset when I give out too
many high ratings, you’re in for a major disappointment this week. You
may also be in trouble if you don’t like romance with your sex. I got
sidetracked on a lengthy story that I just couldn’t put down, and so I
had to cut back on the number of original reviews this week. Then
someone reposted some of the best stories ever posted on this
newsgroup, and those pretty much completed my list for this issue.
Second Note: Dirty Dawg’s “Lynn” was my Top Story for 1995. This
author no longer actively posts to this newsgroup, but he communicated
to me that he was honored at having written the Number 1 story and
stated that he hoped someone else would continue to repost his stories.
Someone has done so; and therefore I am reposting my reviews of these
earlier stories. I might add that I have not yet read two of the
reposted stories (“Shannon” and “Hope”), but I’ll try to review within
the next couple of issues. Finally, I have also reviewed one additional
story (“Holly”) co-written by this author, and I am reposting that
review with the hope that someone will repost that story soon to make
the set complete.
- Celeste
“Was It Good for You?” by Mary Anne Mohanraj
(romance) 10, 7, 7
“Dialogue” by Mary Anne Mohanraj (sex instructions)
10, 9, 9
“First Love” by Unknown Author (emerging adolescence
& romance) 10, 10, 10
* "Celeste" by Dirty Dawg (romance) 10, 10, 10
* "Lynn" by Dirty Dawg (romance) 10, 10, 10
* "Kris" by Dirty Dawg (romance) 10, 10, 10
* “Dana” by Dirty Dawg (romance) 10,8, 6
* "Ellen" by Dirty Dawg (romance) 10, 10, 10
* "Marjorie" by Dirty Dawg (date rape and romance)
10, 7, 8
* “Lisa” by Dirty Dawg (romance) 9.5, 10, 10
* "Holly" by Dirty Dawg and Tristmegistis (Action
adventure) 10, 9, 9
“Bathday” by Nevyn (bestiality) 10, 9, 6
“Senseless” by RC (dreamlike sex) 10, 10, 10
* = Repost of a previous review (because the story has recently
been reposted).
“Was It Good for You?” by Mary Anne Mohanraj (moh2@midway.uchicago.edu). This
story does not state much specifically; it merely hints at aspects of the
relationships that the female narrator has had with the men in her life. It’s
brief; it’s not badly written; but it’s not as good as most of the other
stories I have reviewed by this author. But since it was brief, it’s bonus
time; and you get a second story by this author this week.
Ratings for “Was It Good for You?”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
“Dialogue” by Mary Anne Mohanraj (moh2@midway.uchicago.edu). It’s not quite
clear what this story is, but that’s part of its charm. The description of
sexual activity is clear and explicit, but not especially hot - until the
dialogue becomes a monologue and the whole story takes on a new meaning. What
does that mean? Read it and find out!
Ratings for “Dialogue?”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
“First Love” by Unknown Author. This story presents an interesting paradox. I
don’t know who wrote it or how it got posted. I want to review it and give it
some publicity, because it is good. On the other hand, I don't want to
violate the author’s copyright privileges. I don't mind associating with and
befriending people who write about topics that are taboo to "decent society";
in fact I find most of the people who write for and lurk on this newsgroup to
be interesting, intelligent people with whom I share common interests. But I
draw the line at copyright infringement. The authors work hard on these
stories, and they deserve to receive credit for their own work.
Using simple logic, since I know two people who say they got this story
through this newsgroup, I think I can assume that it was posted here at least
once. In general people who post are willing to have their work reposted in
the same forum; or even better, they'll repost it themselves if they become
aware of the request to do so. Therefore, what I am going to do is post this
REVIEW and let someone else (either a reposter like Red Dragon, who seems to
have an extensive collection, or the author him/herself) repost the actual
story.
After I read the first few lines of this story, I simply could not put
it down. This story is long - real long - nearly 95,000 words long. I
knew I should have been correcting my students’ papers and going over
the next day’s lesson; but I rationalized by telling myself that this
story was about kids like those I teach, and this story would help me
understand those kids better. Right! That’s the ticket! Read this
story for its pedagogical value.
The story focuses primarily on a young girl going through her high
school years and her first sexual experiences. Aside from its
interesting plot, what I liked most about this story was its realistic
use of interesting details and events. For example, without realizing
that the answering machine is recording his entire conversation, Matt
brags to his friend on the telephone about his conquest of Jen. His
parents listen to the recording and have to confront him. Later, Matt
gets beat up by Jen’s former boyfriend. When he gets home afterwards,
his mother hastily assumes that Jen had something to do with the
beating and angrily drags Matt off to Jen’s house to confront her. It
is difficult to predict the reaction of the protagonists to these
subtle but interesting events; and they greatly enrich the plot as it
unfolds.
Jen and the others in the story experience occasional communication
problems - usually arising from moods and an inability to express
emotions correctly. These problems are common among young people going
through adolescence. The author understands these problems thoroughly
and does a good job of setting them up and bringing them to resolution.
What this story actually reads like is a juiced-up Judy Blume novel.
I’m certain it’s not, since I have read all of that author’s
acknowledged work. Wouldn’t it be nice if kids could read and discuss
a book like this in their English classes? They can’t, of course,
because it talks about kids having sex and uses words like clit, cum,
and cunt. The characters also engage in ecstatic sex that is a lot of
fun and in irresponsible activities that cause them really serious
problems. Of course, since high school kids don’t have sex and don’t
know the meaning of clit, cum, and cunt, they shouldn’t read a story
like this - even if the vicarious experience might help them deal with
some of those problems in their own lives. They should read “The
Scarlet Letter” and “Moby Dick” instead. The good news is that in
schools all over the country we are forcing kids to read Hawthorne and
Melville, and their predominant reaction is to think those authors
really suck. Kids mean nothing personal against those authors when
they say things like that - they have no idea what those stories are
about anyway, unless they read Cliff’s Notes. Since the present story
is banned for them, they’ll almost certainly read it, enjoy it, and
learn from it. I certainly hope somebody reposts this story soon, so
that the young people who don’t lurk on this newsgroup can not read it.
Ratings for “First Love”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Celeste" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). From its title I
assumed this would be a story about a naked naughty nympho teenage
cheerleader having midair sex with her skydiving coach before landing
in a cucumber patch and doing the wild thing with the horny St. Bernard
dog that was accompanying the two nuns who were fucking the brains out
of the altar boys behind the barn. I was wrong. This story is one of
the best treatments of human emotions that I have read in a long time.
I literally both laughed out loud and wept while I read this story.
Then I just felt like cuddling up with my husband, who was watching
Rambo or some godawful thing on TV. At first I was upset that this
story was titled "Celeste," but now I feel honored.
Ratings for “Celeste”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Lynn" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). No offense to any of the
other authors, but this is the BEST STORY I have yet reviewed. If you
like romance, read it! This story received my number 1 rating in my
list of the Top 100 Stories of 1995.
Ratings for “Lynn”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Kris" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). OK. So I'm a romantic.
I've been working hard trying to keep from being biased *against*
stories about topics and attitudes I dislike; but I can't help being
biased in favor of stories I do like. This is the third story I read
by this author in four days, and it's the third good story. To be
perfectly honest, if the sex scenes were taken in isolation, they would
not be all that hot. But taken in context - as the culmination of a
hot romance - they are very sexy indeed. What we have here by a.s.s.
standards is a guy with a physical deformity (an ordinary body -
probably a meager six incher between the legs when fully engorged that
merely oozes cum like the sex books say these critters do instead of
shooting it into her cunt from across the room) and a personality
disorder (an urge to possess the woman he loves and remain with her and
make her happy forever). The girl whom he loved in his youth returns
to town, realizes what a fool she was to leave him, and falls madly in
love with him. A lot like us normal folks on a really good hair day.
Not a bad story!
Ratings for “Kris”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Dana" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). The other three stories
I reviewed by this author (all in Celestial Reviews 15) received
ratings of 10. This one doesn't measure up. The sex is actually
hotter, but the context just isn't there. In all four stories we have
a man loving a woman from afar, while the woman is seeking sexual
satisfaction elsewhere. In each case the woman eventually comes to her
senses and returns to the man and finds true happiness. In this story,
however, the drama and character development that turn a corny story
into a good one are missing. There just isn't a good reason to believe
that this guy should be so happy about the prospects of his future with
this woman. (Rating: 6)
Ratings for “Dana”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
* "Ellen" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). What a relief! For a
while there, I thought maybe I was getting too picky. After so many
10's in Celestial Reviews 15, I was on a string of stories that were
not bad, but also not really excellent. This one *is* really
excellent. The common theme in all of the stories I have read by this
author is a person at first under-valuing another person and then
falling deeply in love with that person. (I guess some diversity would
be good. Nothing in these stories really surprises me, once I know who
the author is. If this sounds monotonous, just don't read too many of
this author's romantic stories in one week.) In this case, the story
is told from the perspective of the woman, who is older and more
experienced than the man.
The sex in this story is both tender and hot by any standard. However,
what I liked best about this story was its intelligent treatment of an
adult virgin's initiation into sexual activity. Having participated in
such an activity myself, I am sometimes annoyed when a.s.s. authors
tend to treat rapists, pedophiles, and enthusiasts of D&s, water
sports, and all kinds of other activities as normal and adult virgins
as freaks. (Don't flame me. I'm not down on D&s or water sports.
Read on!)
I do not mean this as criticism of non-virgins. This is not a call to
repent! I truly see no harm in fantasizing about and participating in
a wide range of sexy activities; and I do not demand that everyone
subscribe to my own value system. But I would like to request simple
equality for virgins. Not all of us who made it to adulthood as
virgins are destined to be permanently less responsive sexually than
those who started doing it when they were twelve or thirteen years old
(nor, I might add, are we necessarily morally superior). All I am
saying is that pre-marital virginity is a viable lifestyle choice and
actually a pretty good choice in the modern world; and my husband and I
have had the audacity to recommend it for our children. There really
can be something beautiful in having one's first sexual experience
occur as part of a loving and consensual adult relationship. (Hell, I
actually married the guy before we made love! Why should I have to be
embarrassed about that? Our relationship has worked out wonderfully.)
Why are there no stories at all on a.s.s. about people who wait till
they are married to have sex? I'm not demanding that people adopt this
practice - just recommending it over some other alternatives.
Anyhow, this story does a good job of describing such a first
experience - and lots of subsequent "firsts." The sexually experienced
woman at first thinks she will control her partner or at least have to
teach her inexperienced lover about sex, and he also initially
subscribes to this belief; but by the end of the story it becomes
obvious that he is bringing as much to this really hot relationship as
she is.
Ratings for “Ellen”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Marjorie" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). I really like this author's
writing style (His "Lynn" was my top story for 1995.), and so I was ecstatic
when I saw that he had reposted several of his stories this week. His stories
are long on romance and short on sex; but a little bit of sex in the right
context can really be a turn on for me. In this case we have a woman who has
been abused by her former boyfriend and who calls on the police officer who
has loved her from afar and asks him to pull her out of the mess she has
gotten into. {Love from afar and the eventual redemption of an initially
dysfunctional relationship are the main themes that permeate the Dawg's
stories.} The narrative gave me the impression that the author really
understood police operations. This story is not as outstanding as some of the
others by this same author - it reads a little too much like an essay on date
rape; but it's still a good tale - at least if you are willing to believe
there are any sexy women in Atlanta named Marjorie.
Ratings for "Marjorie"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* “Lisa” by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). Jeff has finally come to
the realization that he is in love with his best friend. The only
problem: she is getting married to somebody else. He has missed his
chance: he now realizes Lisa would have been interested in him, but he
has acted uninterested too long. and she has fallen in love with
someone who loves returns her love. What’s a guy to do? Well, I guess
he could drive the two hours to her house, show up unannounced, send
the fiance away, profess his honest feelings to his true love, and then
fuck her brains out. This plan is so crazy, it might just work!
The last story I reviewed by this author was “Marjorie,” which included
lots of action - including a sequence where the hero blew the brains
out of the villain who was attacking the heroine. The present story,
on the other hand, contains a lot of brooding introspection that could
become boring; but it doesn’t. There were a few screwed up verb tenses
that annoyed me, but I remained interested to the very end. As I said
in my last review, this author is long on relationships and romance.
The sexual sequences cover only about a third as much space as those in
the previous story, but the context makes these few words very, very
hot.
Ratings for "Lisa"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Holly" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com) and Tristmegistis
(an222260@anon.penet.fi). A while ago Dirty Dawg posted Part 1 of this but
never got around to finishing it. Another author (Tristmegistis) asked
permission to 'borrow' his characters for a
continuation story, and hence we have this finished product.
The plot focuses on two undercover cops who work together and fall in
love with each other. They get assigned to a case involving
prostitution and drugs; and the female partner (Holly) has to do some
unsavory things to make the bust. The plot has a lot of interesting
twists. The only problem with the story is that a lot of it
(especially later in the story) seems to be a mere summary of what went
on, rather than an actual description of events.
One unique feature of this story is that the hero has "only" a six-inch
cock. All the medical and scientific research says that the ole six-
incher works perfectly well; but the average a.s.s dick seems to be in
the ten-inch range. This story deserves a high rating just for its
truth in advertising. Although there are a lot of questions unanswered
at the end of the story, it's still a pretty good action adventure.
Ratings for "Lisa"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Bathday” by Nevyn (patrick@otn.net). I read this story because a
correspondent (Patrick Kellum) recommended this author to me. It’s
about a gentleman who wakes up one fine Saturday morning and has his
male dog fuck him in the ass and then has his female dog suck his cock.
I don’t know if this stuff is even possible. I know somebody is going
to say that this is an irrational bias on my part; but if I had a cock
I certainly would not stick it into a dog’s mouth. However, the author
describes the feeling as somewhat like jerking off while your dick is
covered in a big, warm, furry condom. I asked my husband (who does
have a cock) about this, and he said it sounded interesting and
suggested that I get out the furry gloves he bought me last winter. I
think he missed the point - or maybe I did.
In the second part of the story, the guy’s wife {I suppose it’s his
wife - unless he has a third dog that can talk} tells him to give the
dogs their baths. Since this tends to be a messy process, he gets
naked to do it. While he washes them, he likes to bring them to orgasm.
Here’s my favorite passage in the whole story: “Xanth {the female dog}
wandered up from sleeping in the corner and snuffled into my groin,
licking the come off my hands and dick, still getting small twangs of
pleasure out of my anti-climatic state.” The sexual gravity of this
sentence is overridden by its grammatical and linguistic overtones.
Grammatically, it’s not quite clear whether it is Xanth, the guy
himself, his cock, or an abstraction referred to as his anti-climatic
state that is the site of the twangs of pleasure. Even more
problematic is the exact meaning of the phrase “my anti-climatic
state.” This would mean a civil entity that opposes climate. Since
the dog’s weight is given in stones, I am led to believe that the
author is British. I have heard the British Isles referred to as
having a nasty climate, but I wasn’t aware that the new government had
taken an anti-climatic stance.
I suppose the author meant to say “anti-climactic,” but even that is
problematic. An anticlimax is either (1) A decline viewed in
disappointing contrast with a previous rise. (2) Something trivial or
commonplace that concludes a series of significant events. (3) A sudden
descent in speaking or writing from the impressive or significant to
the ludicrous or inconsequential. This could make sense; but I think
the author meant to say “post-climactic,” meaning after his climax.
I can just imagine the author reading this review. “I wrote a bloody
good story about a man fucking his dogs in the strangest ways possible,
and the bloody Grammar Goddess gets on my case over the grammatical
structure of my climaxes!” His bedmate would bark sympathetically and
nuzzle closer.
In truth, this is a clearly written story. The grammar gaffe was no
big thing. This story was interesting to me, but not sexy, because
doing it with dogs does not turn me on. I am not interested in
“condemning” the story as a “perversion.” As an outsider, I am simply
bemused by the apparent incongruity of the events. It is likely that
the guys out there who have experienced pleasant homosexual intercourse
with a large dog or have given head to a dog of either gender will
enjoy this story more than I did.
Ratings for " Bathday"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
“Senseless” by RC (74734.271@CompuServe.COM). It’s not exactly clear
what is happening in this very short story. But that’s the way it’s
supposed to be. It’s not clear whether Mary is dreaming or awake; but
that’s the way it’s supposed to be.
The story begins with a vivid portrayal of Mary awakening on an 8 by 8
foot table in a pitch-dark room. She doesn’t know where she is or how
she got there. It’s scary. Her fear evokes sexual feelings, and she
masturbates to an exciting climax and falls asleep. When she next
becomes conscious, she finds herself staring into the eyes of her
friend Rachel. They kiss and make love.
This is a strange but strangely sexy story.
Ratings for " Senseless "
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10