Celestial Reviews 113 - August 31, 1996
Note: Several people have recently asked me how to submit stories to me
and to the newsgroup. Once your stories are in satisfactory shape to
submit, here's how I post on a.s.s. through AOL: (1) I copy my review
(story) from my word processor onto my clipboard; (2) I log into the
a.s.s. newsgroup; (3) I select the "Send New Message" option, and (4)
I paste my review into the space that appears on the screen for that
purpose. This process may be slightly different with other services.
My e-mail address (Celeste801) appears automatically with the message
when it appears in the postings. Since I prefer to be known as simply
Celeste, I put that name somewhere in my message.
I myself achieve a satisfactory degree of anonymity by simply using the
e-mail address Celeste801 and the nom de plume Celeste. It is my
impression that AOL will protect my anonymity, unless I start breaking
laws that are far more serious than telling dirty stories to adults.
I'm pretty sure my daughter Chelsea and my friend Tipper don't even
know that I am really Celeste, although I'm pretty sure they both read
my reviews faithfully.
If you need further anonymity, you can use the “anon” service that goes
through Finland. Simply follow the directions at the end of one of the
stories that use this service to obtain the guidelines for submitting
stories through that service. It is my understanding that that service
is supported by a person who is best described as a "free speech
fanatic." However, I understand even that service is subjected to some
censorship; but so far this has occurred only when really bad people
have tried to use the service for improper purposes (e.g., terrorists
using it to send threats via e-mail).
You should avoid using in your story any keyboard conventions that will
not come across to ordinary readers receiving ASCII files from the
newsgroup. For example, italics and boldface do not work, nor do smart
single quotation marks, etc. Either these conventions will be omitted
in the files people receive or they will be replaced by weird symbols
that will bother your future readers. Simply avoid using these, if you
know about them and can select another way to communicate your ideas.
If you would prefer to receive additional feedback from a proofreader
before you post your story, send a request (not the actual story) to
me, and I'll assign a free proofreader. This is a loosely organized
service of volunteers, but it really does seem to work pretty well. It
will be up to you and the proofreader to decide how to share and
improve your work. There is a huge value in having someone else look
at your story before you post it.
Finally, if you would like to be certain that I will review your story
in Celestial Reviews, send a copy by e-mail to me (celeste801@aol.com).
Send it a few days before you post the story or at least at the same
time you post the story. That way I can try to post my review around
the same time it appears in the postings. I cannot promise to read and
review ALL the stories I receive, but I try.
- Celeste
“Philly" by Michael K. Smith (romance & emerging
adolescence) 10, 10, 10
“Trinity Trilogy Novel 8/14” by Tom Trinity
(miscellaneous orgies) 10, 9.5, 10
“Coach” by Uncle Mike (sitcom parody) 10, 9, 9
“TV's best - Friends” by Erin8667 (sitcom parody) 7, 7, 9
“Stage Fright” by RC (hypnosis) 10, 10, 10
“Porno TV: The Munsters” by Shelby Bush (sitcom parody)
10, 9.5, 9.5
“Princess’s Court” by Plainman (romance & adultery)
10, 10, 10
“Field of Desire” by Andrew Roller (bdsm) 8, 8, 6
“Conversation” by Sandmann (sex fantasies & inhibitions)
10, 10, 10
“Philly" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com). This is another
story rich in details and sentiment and permeated with hot sex. The
man meets a much younger girl in the jacuzzi at a hotel during a
convention, where the atmosphere is such that it is easy to have sex in
the jacuzzi. She is a virgin, and he gently introduces her to the
mysteries of sex. That’s about it! Of course, you should read the
story yourself; the author has about 7,500 more words that make this
story well worth reading.
Ratings for “Philly”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Trinity Trilogy Novel 8/14” by Tom Trinity (stbush@iglou.com). We are
now in week 8 out 14 of the reposts of the Trinity Trilogy stories, and
the members of the Happy Trio continue their quest of new types of
orgies science fiction conventions and elsewhere. In addition, Tom has
started to develop a more stable relationship with Janie. Who knows?
They may settle down and have children!
The first story in this week’s segment is one of the hottest examples I
have ever seen of spouse-watching, even though Tom and Janie are not
actually spouses. We also learn this week that Tom likes chocolate -
especially hot chocolate; and fortunately his friends introduce him to
Mary, a hot black woman who enjoys vanilla. One of the most unusual
elements of the story is that they eat at Denny’s, where they speak to
but do not engage in multiple-party sex with the waitress. Other than
that, it’s orgies as usual - although I did detect a slight tendency
toward a larger amount of anal sex.
An enjoyable element of these stories that I have not yet mentioned is
their titles. For example, Chapter 55 is "A Little Rock and a Hard
Piece." The story takes place in Little Rock, Arkansas. You can use
imagination for the rest of the title.
I truly enjoy these stories; but I feel compelled to issue a sort of
standard disclaimer. These characters live in a world where AIDS,
other sexually transmitted diseases, and pregnancy simply do not occur.
In addition, everybody is so friendly and sharing that nobody’s
personality gets hurt by the actions of anyone else. Hedonism sure
sounds good; but real life involves responsibility. I myself am a
Christian, and I don’t lead a hedonistic lifestyle. I get really
pissed off at fellow Christians who try to promulgate their belief that
reading stories like this is “sinful.” My hope is that stories like
this can help people like me loosen up and enjoy life without
compromising our principles. It never hurts to know what’s on the
menu, even if you’re on a diet. And on the other hand, some of you
all-out hedonists might discover that you can still enjoy life even if
you throw in a huge dose of responsibility.
Ratings for “Trinity Trilogy Novel 8/14”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Coach” by Uncle Mike (fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu). Christine has
planned a surprise for Hayden. She has left a provocative note inside
a special issue of Playboy Magazine, and now she has sneaked into his
office, wearing nothing but a trench coat and a smile. She has locked
the doors, and now she springs the surprise upon him. Actually, SHE’s
the one who is surprised. It’s not Hayden there behind the Playboy
centerfold, but Dauber, who gives her cunt the ride of her life.
This short piece is good - but it’s not among Uncle Mike’s best.
Ratings for “Coach”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
“TV's best - Friends” by Erin8667 (erin8667@aol.com). The gang from
the “Friends” sitcom follow their usual custom of walking into each
other’s apartments without knocking; but instead of cracking jokes or
flirting, they hump like rabbits in heat The sex is pretty hot, and
it’s easy to picture the characters doing these things; but the story
needs a little more development or better timing.
Uncle Mike and Shelby Bush write good sitcom parodies. This author
writes porn stories that contain the sitcom characters. The difference
is that the former two authors spend time on actually developing a
creative plot that runs parallel to the original sitcom. This one is
like watching a porn movie in which the characters from “Friends” are
inserted into the roles of the porn studs and studettes. It comes
across as something written by a high school sophomore in one evening
by simply inserting sex into the basic “Friends” format.
In addition, the literacy level is much lower in this story than in the
stories by the other two authors. Nevertheless, this isn’t really a
bad story. If you skip past the grammar mistakes, it’s actually fun to
imagine the gang from “Friends” doing these things with one another.
Ratings for “Friends”
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
“Stage Fright” by RC (74734.271@CompuServe.COM). As I read this story,
I was impressed by the way it conveyed the feeling of being hypnotized.
Up to the very end, I was saying to myself, “This is a good story, but
what does it have to do with sex?” Then, like magic, I saw the point!
This is a short but highly creative story.
Ratings for “Stage Fright”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Porno TV: The Munsters” by Shelby Bush (stbush@iglou.com). The author
simulates an episode from the old Munsters TV series. There are three
separate plots, which blend together, just like on TV: (1) Herman and
Lilly get it on with the electrodes connected to the generator in the
headboard, (2) Grandpa turns into a bat and gets some pussy, and (3)
Marilyn loses and regains (!) her virginity. I have reviewed about a
thousand stories, and this is the first one in which a woman REGAINS
her virginity.
Ratings for “The Munsters”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5
“Princess’s Court” by Plainman (an701930@anon.penet.fi). These seven
stories are interconnected to such an extent that I do not want to
review them separately. It IS reasonable to read one story, then stop,
then read the next a few days later. However, I don’t think it would
be a good idea to read story 7, then 1, then 4, etc. The proper order
is:
1. Confession
2. Pre-Trial Proceedings
3. Girl Talk
4: Crime Scene
5: Claire
6: Motion to Dismiss
7: Night Court
The author describes the series as mainly a married male-female
romance, with lots of adultery in the "wife-watching" vein, lots of
consensual brother-sister incest, a fair amount of female-female fun,
several loss of virginity scenes (in reminiscence), some anal sex, and
a threat of fairly harsh consensual (but protested!) punishment that
hangs over the whole series and is brought to fruition in the final
part. There is no explicit male-male sex, although one character hints
of interests in that direction There is also no pedophilia. The adult
characters have children, whom they speak of; but they take appropriate
care to keep the children away from their sexual activities.
Each story consists entirely of dialogue; we have to infer what else is
happening. It’s like overhearing telephone conversations or listening
through a thin wall at a motel. Everything not spoken is left to the
imagination. Since the conversations are vivid, the reader’s
imagination is likely to be busy.
Early on we learn that somebody referred to as Princess is married to a
man called Trooper. She has been unfaithful while away on a trip. She
tells Trooper about her infidelity, and although he seems titillated,
he plans to convene something called the Family Court to punish
Princess. The other members of the Family Court appear to be David,
the sister of Princess who has been sexually active with her in the
past, and Judy, the Princess’s childhood friend and current sex partner
who is apparently intimately involved with David. The
interrelationships among these characters become clearer in succeeding
stories.
Each story reveals its details in interesting ways. For example, in
one segment Princess discusses her infidelity with her husband by
telephone from an airplane, while she is in danger of being overheard
by the people around her. In another segment we hear Dave and Judy
making love, talking about their past experiences and integrating
fantasies from the past with their present lovemaking. The author uses
flashbacks and innuendo to build some really hot images.
The series was originally entitled “Family Court,” but the author
changed the title, in order to distance the story from any suggestion
of pedophilia. I see his point; but the change lost something
important. The term Family Court occurs in the story, with obvious
reference to the trial and punishment administered to Princess.
However, a second meaning of “court” (which is not initially evident
with the original title) is the group of people who hang around a royal
person - as in “the king and his court.” As the reader moves through
the story, it becomes obvious that this second meaning is also relevant
- the Princess is not only SUBJECTED to a court, she also HAS a court.
The new title shifts the initial emphasis so far toward the second
meaning that it ruins the fun that comes from the insight of
discovering this second meaning. If you have any idea what I am
talking about, this paragraph may have been interesting.
I have a brother and sister and associated in-laws with whom I have
never had sex and don’t intend to do so. However, I think there is a
little bit of the Princess in me; and I truly enjoyed the vicarious
experiences I found by eavesdropping on the Princess and her court. On
another personal note, I’m still not interested in getting into the
punishment and humiliation stuff that Princess gets off on. On the
other hand, stories like this help me believe that I really wouldn’t be
upset if my next-door neighbors were into this kind of thing - as long
as I had binoculars. I might even let my kids play with theirs - as
long as they didn’t have binoculars.
This was an excellent, highly creative story.
Ratings for “Princess’s Court”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Field of Desire” by Andrew Roller (an294630@anon.penet.fi). This is a
story in the Naughty Naked Dreamgirls series. I vaguely recall
reviewing another story in this series a long time ago and saying that
it wasn’t very good; but I can’t verify this from my database. The
present story IS pretty good.
Monique came to America many years ago as an exchange student, when
Annie was only ten years old and Monique was 17. Now Annie is 17 years
old and is visiting Monique in France, where the older woman is married
to a rich man who has little time for her. The story focuses on their
walk across a field of hay, while they discuss sexuality and start to
get naked as they approach a rustic cabin in which Annie will be
introduced to the joys of bdsm. If you are already a bdsm enthusiast,
you’ll possibly consider the plot to be more coherent than I did.
Ratings for “Field of Desire”
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
“Conversation” by Sandmann (bd654@scn.org). Goddammit! I really hate
it when this happens. Here it is - August 30. I have a busy weekend
ahead of me; and so I prepared my Top 15 List for August ahead of time
earlier this evening. Then I decided to read one last story before
going to bed. I guess I could just bump this review to next month by
delaying it until the next issue; but then it might be more difficult
for readers to find the story in the postings. But I simply refuse to
bump any more good stories off my Top 15 list for August. We’ll just
have to live with sixteen stories in this month’s Top 15!
This story begins as a conversation between two women about the sex
life of one of them, who mentions that she is sexually uninhibited. A
stranger at a nearby table jumps into the conversation and asks her to
explain what she means by “uninhibited.” Her friend leaves, and the
woman continues the discussion with the stranger. This is a
fascinating combination of a theoretical discussion and sexual
fantasies. It’s a Platonic dialogue run amuck!
As you know, I enjoy “discovering” that various a.s.s. authors are
“really” someone else. For example, I have discussed at length my
theory that Deirdre is actually Sherwood Anderson reincarnated. More
recently, I speculated that Harper Lee is the real author of “Tomboy,”
which was falsely attributed to Jordan Shelbourne. If I recall
correctly, I once even exposed J.D. Salinger posting on a.s.s. In the
present issue of CR, Plainman is obviously a pseudonym for John Updike.
I also suspect that some authors on this newsgroup post under more than
one name. The present story is a case in point. This story bears an
uncanny stylistic resemblance to the work of another excellent author
whose work I have reviewed here in the past. However, since the author
may have some reason for wanting to conceal this dual identity, I am
not going to disclose the other name under which I think this author
writes. If you want to ‘fess up or speculate, you can contact me by e-
mail.
This is a thoroughly enjoyable story!
Ratings for “Conversation”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10