Celestial Reviews 111 - August 24, 1996
Note: Several people have recently asked me how to submit stories to me
and to the newsgroup. Once your stories are in satisfactory shape to
submit, here's how I post on a.s.s. through AOL: (1) I copy my review
(story) from my word processor onto my clipboard; (2) I log into the
a.s.s. newsgroup; (3) I select the "Send New Message" option, and (4)
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My e-mail address (Celeste801) appears automatically with the message
when it appears in the postings. Since I prefer to be known as simply
Celeste, I put that name somewhere in my message.
I myself achieve a satisfactory degree of anonymity by simply using the
e-mail address Celeste801 and the nom de plume Celeste. It is my
impression that AOL will protect my anonymity, unless I start breaking
laws that are far more serious than telling dirty stories to adults.
I'm pretty sure my daughter Chelsea and my friend Tipper don't even
know that I am really Celeste, although I'm pretty sure they both read
my reviews faithfully.
If you need further anonymity, you can use the “anon” service that goes
through Finland. Simply follow the directions at the end of one of the
stories that use this service to obtain the guidelines for submitting
stories through that service. It is my understanding that that service
is supported by a person who is best described as a "free speech
fanatic." However, I understand even that service is subjected to some
censorship; but so far this has occurred only when really bad people
have tried to use the service for improper purposes (e.g., terrorists
using it to send threats via e-mail).
You should avoid using in your story any keyboard conventions that will
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in the files people receive or they will be replaced by weird symbols
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know about them and can select another way to communicate your ideas.
If you would prefer to receive additional feedback from a proofreader
before you post your story, send a request (not the actual story) to
me, and I'll assign a free proofreader. This is a loosely organized
service of volunteers, but it really does seem to work pretty well. It
will be up to you and the proofreader to decide how to share and
improve your work. There is a huge value in having someone else look
at your story before you post it.
Finally, if you would like to be certain that I will review your story
in Celestial Reviews, send a copy by e-mail to me (celeste801@aol.com).
Send it a few days before you post the story or at least at the same
time you post the story. That way I can try to post my review around
the same time it appears in the postings. I cannot promise to read and
review ALL the stories I receive, but I try.
- Celeste
“Neighbors" by Michael K. Smith (romance & emerging
adolescence) 10, 10, 10
“Catherine” by Laura Leigh (transgender magic) 9, 1, 1
“Creative Interlude” by Ann Douglas (sex fantasies of a
smut writer) 10, 9, 9
“A Gentle Massage for Diana” by Tom Bombadil (sensuous
massage) 10, 10, 10
“Trinity Trilogy Novel 7/14” by Tom Trinity
(miscellaneous orgies) 10, 9.5, 10
“Doogie Howser, M.D.: The Final Fuck” by Uncle Mike
(sitcom parody) 10, 10, 10
“Burgular” by Unknown Author (sex with intruder)
5, 5, 5
“Beach Balls” by Richard Lovel (masturbation) 9, 5, 5
“The Origin of a Superheroine” by Star Girl (superhero rape)
9.5, 9, 9
“Twice the Fun” by Unknown Author (See Discussion Below)
*“Double Trouble” by Randu (sci-fi sex) 10, 10, 10
* = Repost of a previous review (to compare it to a recently
posted story).
“Neighbors" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com). Mike lusts
after Carol from afar - from the house next door, that is. He’s
divorced, and she has recently thrown her husband out; and he’s
beginning to notice more and more how attractive she is. One day he
finds an excuse to give her a foot rub. {Now, you have to understand
that for some of us foot rubs are a form of either masturbation or
foreplay.} He behaves like a perfect gentleman. Mike and Carol kiss
and neck passionately sans enfuckment and are having a good ole time -
when Carol’s 15-year-old daughter comes home early and walks in on them
unexpectedly.
I mention this anecdote with the daughter because it demonstrates the
level of sophistication of the story. It may be fun to fantasize about
humping the slutty next door neighbor or gang-banging the bus driver or
inviting the daughter to join in for a little incestuous menage a
trois; but real life sometimes diverges from fantasy. Adults - and
especially parents - have to be responsible as well as sexy. In this
instance, Carol leaves Mike on the couch, goes to her daughter’s room
to discuss the matter with her, and then rejoins Mike for some more
romance. Some readers may find this dull; but I find this kind of
stuff to be very hot - because it more closely resembles things that I
might do in what I would like to think is my own, mature, responsible
life.
Well, actually Carol lets Stephanie watch her making out with Mike.
That would go beyond my own limits; but I have to admit that I found it
to be extremely erotic. This is another very good story. I enjoyed it
immensely.
Last week I criticized an author for the improper balance of details -
too much irrelevant and too little relevant detail. Smith does an
excellent job of supplying the right blend of details. At times he
seems to be off the subject; but he’s really setting up the mood for
what he wants us to notice next. This story offers a good example of
what I am talking about.
Ratings for “Neighbors”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Catherine” by Laura Leigh. This is a story about a crossdressing man
who wishes he were a real woman. Poof! Bobby gets his wish and
becomes his best friend Catherine, who then rejoins her old friend
Wyatt, marries him, and lives happily ever after. I got lost somewhere
in the middle of the story. There are too many loose ends. If Bobby
turned into Catherine while making love to Brick Foster, what happened
to Catherine who was down in the washeteria? Shouldn’t there be two
Catherines now? Or did the other Catherine turn into Bobby and then
just disappear? Furthermore, if Bobby’s brain and personality had been
taken over by Catherine’s, why did Bobby still remember things from
Bobby - wouldn’t the same brain cells be used for contradictory
purposes? The story was just too simplistic. I didn’t like it at all.
Ratings for “Catherine”
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 1
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 1
“Creative Interlude” by Ann Douglas (AnnD55@Pipeline.Com). We start in
the middle of a hot story. Then we discover that the real story is
about Sondra, who is writing a story for a.s.s. While she writes, her
fantasies bring her into the lives of the people she is writing about.
This is an interesting story. As a reader, you can fantasize that you
are a writer fantasizing about the people you are writing about for
readers like yourself!
Ratings for “Creative Interlude”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
“A Gentle Massage for Diana” by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com).
Diana is a successful businesswoman who has a glint of lust in her eye
for the young man who works for her as an office assistant. She
fantasizes a little about him, but then she sets aside the fantasies as
she looks forward to the wonderful evening she will have with her
husband that evening. On the way home she stops for her weekly
massage, and we discover that she gets a very special treatment from
the hunk who services her as a masseur. The massage is extremely
erotic and goes well beyond what my friend the masseuse says happens in
a reputable massage establishment.
This is a very good story and gets very high ratings. However, a
problem with the story is that it doesn’t quite fulfill its potential
with regard to maintaining the tension between the woman’s love for her
husband and her enjoyment of the massage. As I read the story, I
initially said to myself that this was a woman much like myself -
attracted by what is sensuous in the rest of the world, but reserving
her passion for her “true love.” Then I saw her getting way too high
way too easily with the masseur; and I said to myself that this was not
at all like me - in fact, it was not at all like the character
described earlier in the story.
I don’t want to give away details that make the story interesting, but
I think the author could have achieved an even better impact by making
the woman not only sexy and passionate but also more obviously
consistent with her own persona throughout the story. Let me clarify
that. The characterization IS in fact consistent; and that becomes
clear at the end of the story. The problem is that while reading the
sexiest parts of the story the reader is not likely to perceive the
character as being consistent with the author’s initial and final
portrayal of her. The story would have a better impact (what I might
call a double whammy) if the author would have carried this off more
perfectly. That is, the author should have maintained the tension
between the woman’s personality and what happened to her. That tension
IS brought into focus at the end of the story; but my reaction was an
abrupt, “Oh! I get it!” rather than a more full enjoyment that could
have been accomplished, I think, through a different approach in the
middle of the story. Read the story yourself and see if you agree with
me. As I said, it’s a very good story.
Ratings for “A Gentle Massage for Diana”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Trinity Trilogy Novel 7/14” by Tom Trinity (stbush@iglou.com). For
those of you who joined us late - “The Trinity Trilogy” was a series of
99 stories about a threesome (trilogy) of enthusiastic hedonists
published over a period of several years. Shelby Bush maintains
contact with the author, who is no longer in a position to write more
stories or to repost those already written; and Shelby has agreed to
repost all the stories as the “Trinity Trilogy Novel” in 14 segments
over a period of 14 weeks. We are now in week 7, and I have detected a
pattern in the stories: the members of the Happy Trio seem to be
interested in finding new types of orgies every time they go to a
science fiction convention.
This week Our Gang starts out in Louisville, and the Orgy du Jour
consists of seven women in a hotel room with Tom. All the women have
been screened for appropriate contraception. They spin a bottle of
Irish whiskey, and the lady to whom the bottle points gets three
minutes (via egg timer) to use Tom in any friendly way she wishes.
After each lady has had a turn, they drink the whisky and use Tom as a
target in a free-play activity. When the bottle is empty, Tom uses it
as a selection device to determine which lady will be the recipient of
his initial deposit. This is followed by more free play. I’m not
familiar with Emily Post, but this sounds like a good way to organize
an orgy or wedding shower.
The next chapter describes another orgy. The only specific, scientific
information is that the number of participants is a multiple of three -
two females and one male in each fuckgroup. Sounds reasonable. Other
than that, it’s free play.
I shouldn’t give the impression that this series is about nothing but
orgies. In fact, two chapters are devoted to a mid-week trip to
Atlanta, during which Our Hero meets a Special Friend (whom he had met,
to be sure, at an orgy) - and they frolic monogamously and gloriously
for two days, while she delivers several million dollars worth of
securities to a customer of her bank. They even eat occasional meals
at ordinary restaurants, without copulating either on or under the
furniture. These people are just decent human beings with strong
libidos.
The most unusual event in this segment is that a fourth person joins
the Trinity Trilogy. There is no word for this new menage; but I
suppose if the Big Ten can have eleven football teams, then a Trinity
or Trilogy can have four sex maniacs. Janie joins because she is
enamored of Tom, but she gets along pretty well with Candy and Judy
too.
This segment includes a wide variety of sexual activities - one on one
and many on one; sex in motel rooms, at home, and outside in the rain;
sex during a poker game; and tag-team sex
a-la-wrestling-match. You name it; they’ve got it!
Ratings for “Trinity Trilogy Novel 7/14”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Doogie Howser, M.D.: The Final Fuck” by Uncle Mike
(fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu). Doogie Howser is a young adolescent - I
assume maybe 15 or 16 years old. A boy genius, he has already
completed medical school and is an excellent doctor. Each week’s
episode consists of poignant and humorous situations that might occur
to such a person working in a hospital. In addition to numerous human-
interest anecdotes, each episode has a common theme running through it
- usually having something to do with the contrast between Doogie’s
chronological youth and the maturity demanded by his medical work. To
emphasize this contrast, Doogie’s faithful sidekick Vinnie generally
hangs around and acts like a normal adolescent.
In this week’s episode, Doogie has decided to unload his virginity.
There are a couple of humorous or poignant false starts, but then he
makes it with a corpse down in the morgue. That’s right. Uncle Mike
has stooped to necrophilia. Adolescent geniuses sometimes have
emotional troubles: “God help me, I even thought about shoving it in
her asshole as well -- but the sphincter muscles tend to relax after
death, and I didn't want to stick my cock into a load of shit.” Vinnie
and Doogie conclude that Doogie is now a non-virgin, even though the
partner was “unconscious.”
If you’re looking for a realistic, erotic sex story, this is not it.
On the other hand, if you want to read a good parody, this is an
excellent story. The author does a great job of inserting bizarre
events into the “Doogie Howser” standard format.
Ratings for “Doogie Howser, M.D.”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Burgular” by Unknown Author. What should you do if you’re asleep in
your bed with your husband and you hear a noise in the kitchen in the
middle of the night? Why, you should leave your husband asleep and
sneak naked down the stairs to investigate. And what should you do if
you find a “burgular” there? Why, you should tell him to stop
immediately or you’ll call the police! And what should you do if the
“burgular” turns out to be a young woman rather than a man? Why, you
should fuck her brains out in the kitchen and then bring her upstairs
as a special surprise for your husband - but you should be careful not
to awaken the kids!
As you may suspect from the title, the author has not proofread this
EBS repost very carefully. In addition, the notion that a burglar is
likely to become a really hot and friendly sex partner is fairly
improbable- to say the least; but this is a persistent fantasy for some
people. If you enjoy the fantasy and are willing to wade through the
spelling and grammar mistakes, you may enjoy this story. Otherwise,
look elsewhere.
Ratings for “Burgular
Athena (technical quality): 5
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
“Beach Balls” by Richard Lovel (malory@neosoft.com). "The Peter Files"
purport to be a longitudinal case study of masturbatory addiction in an
adult male, conducted at the Institute for Correction of Sexual
Misbehavior. The author says that the series is made available in order
to increase the public awareness and understanding of the problem of
masturbation dependency in males, and especially as a resource to those
persons in a co-dependent relationship with a habitual masturbator.
Actually, the stories are fiction, and I doubt that they have any
unusual medicinal value.
In this one a dirty ole man goes to a nude beach, where he gets turned
on by all the tits that surround him. He goes to a private place to
jerk off, but a naked lady with big breasts spots him there. He jacks
off and they both enjoy the experience. This is not really hot stuff;
but maybe this story will increase the public awareness and
understanding of the problem of masturbation dependency in males - or
at least let us laugh at weirdoes who act this way.
Ratings for “Beach Balls
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
“The Origin of a Superheroine” by Star Girl (an529256@anon.penet.fi).
An athletic young woman comes upon Wonder Woman in the forest, where
that heroine is under attack by the minions of the evil Dr. Malus <get
it, Malice!>. Both the woman and Wonder Woman are captured. The
villain’s goal is to transfer some of the powers of Wonder Woman to his
new captive and to other women. Then by controlling these new wonder
women, he will be able to rule the world or the universe or get all the
pussy he wants or something like that. Fortunately for humankind, his
plans are foiled; and after some incidental gang rapes the new Dynamic
Duo go forth to thwart evil everywhere.
A major strength of this story is that the author has created a
theoretical and imaginative framework for intelligent science fiction.
What I DISliked about the story was that the ONLY sexual focus dealt
with what happened to the unnamed heroine and to Wonder Woman while
they were being raped on several occasions. A recurring theme is
something like this: “Every muscle in my body contracted, as I twisted
and bucked, held up high by my hands. I cried out each time I felt the
throbbing waves of orgasm pulse through me, moaning and sobbing
uncontrollably.” This kind of action takes place within a reasonable
context (for example, we learn that amazons magically lose their
superior strength when their hands are bound by a man and that they are
rendered happy but docile by the penetration of their vaginas).
Nevertheless, as this author continues to develop the story of this
unnamed heroine, I hope we read about something besides the neat ways
in which she can be raped and how she responds to torture.
Ratings for “The Origin of a Superheroine”
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
“Twice the Fun” by Unknown Author.
*“Double Trouble” by Randu (randu@netcom.com).
A reader suggested by e-mail that I might like to review a recently
reposted story entitled “Twice the Fun.” When I looked at the story, I
thought I recognized it; and when I checked my database I discovered
that it was really a rip-off of “Double Trouble,” which I reviewed
about a year ago. I am confident that “Double Trouble” by Randu came
first; and “DT” was a good story that I rated in my Top 100 of 1995. I
am not blaming the reposter, who I think was possibly acting in good
faith - having obtained the story from another source.
“Twice the Fun” is a “good story” only in the sense that this
mutilated, bastardized, plagiarized version retains some of the
remnants of a previously posted good story. An ignoramus has taken a
good story about a man and two little boys and simply changed all the
references to little girls instead of little boys. I don’t know what
motivated this misguided behavior - perhaps we have on our hands a
crusader who thinks that having sex with little boys is bad but
exploiting little girls is fine; perhaps we have a person who simply
likes little girls better than little boys; or perhaps we have an
egoist who thinks he can take credit for a story simply by changing the
names of the characters. What I want to stress here is that I think
people posting on this newsgroup should be above plagiarism. Randu
worked hard on that original story, and he received no payment for his
work. He has a right to his story; and what this other person did was
just plain wrong. I encourage you to read the original story and to
give proper credit to Randu rather than to give credibility to this
literary theft.
If you examine “Twice the Fun” closely (and I don’t recommend that you
bother doing this), you will discover that it contains ludicrous
phrases like "the girl's little dickie." (The penis belonged to a
little boy in the original story.) In other words, it’s not even a
good rip-off.
Here’s a repost of my review of the original story. Perhaps the author
will repost it. If not, the story is available, along with all the
other Top 100 stories of 1995 at http://proffa.cc.tut.fi/~k113973/
"Double Trouble" by Randu. To understand and enjoy this story, it is
important to realize that it is science fiction. If readers don't
understand the rules of this imaginary world, the story comes across as
sheer nonsense or as advice to do things that are threatening to
children. As part of the author's literary style, the rules of this
imaginary world are not stated up front; rather they become obvious as
the story unfolds.. However, I don't think I am ruining the story by
telling you these rules. Here they are. The main characters in this
story live in a world where the following changes are made in the laws
governing human nature: (1) One twin is able to communicate through
mental telepathy, even across great distances. He can tune into other
people's brain waves pretty much at will; and they can communicate
reciprocally with him, if he wants this to happen. (2) The other twin
has extraordinary powers of empathy. He can understand the emotions of
other people better than those persons can themselves - but only if he
is in their immediate presence. (3) At least one adult authority
figure (the narrator of the story) can engage in sexual intimacies with
9-year-old children without any negative side effects whatsoever. In
all other respects, their world closely resembles that of Western
civilization around the end of the 20th century. Reputable scientists
would deny the validity of all three of these premises; but once we
assume that they are true in this imaginary world, we have a pretty
interesting story.
The story is well written. The author writes with an obvious
admiration for and understanding of many of the joys of childhood - not
just sex with children. The narrator comes across as a mixture of an
adult who is still a child and a dysfunctional man who cannot relate to
little boys without focusing on the beauty of their tight little asses
and longing to have sex with them. In normal society this person would
perhaps be dangerous, but in this imaginary world he provides the basis
for interesting complications that go well beyond ordinary pedophile
stories. These complexities build around the question of how an adult
who is attracted to them would interact with a pair of children whose
psychic powers have enabled them to achieve an unusual combination of
sexual maturity and innocence.
I'm sure there are flaws in the logic of this story, just like there
are flaws in most good science fiction involving children, including
Peter Pan, E.T, and the various time travel movies.; but these flaws
occur largely because of the complexity imposed by the three rule
changes. It's just plain hard to imagine a world like this - largely
because most reasonable people have see legitimate dangers in ordinary
pedophile behavior. The third rule requires that we temporarily cancel
in our minds one of the main taboos of our society - a taboo that
nearly all social scientists would say has a great deal of validity
behind it. In other words, to enjoy this story, it is necessary to
suspend reality enough to believe this all could really happen and to
read the story without automatically asserting that this is the way
that children "should" or "should not" grow up in the real world. If
you do this, you'll find a good story. If you read it as a "really
great tale about how this old guy screwed a couple of children," it's a
pretty weak story.
Ratings for “Double Trouble”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10