Celestial Reviews 101 - July 20, 1996
Note: I was slightly inaccurate in the advice I gave to AOL users a
few issues ago. Using DOWNLOAD ARTICLE will often, but not always,
solve the problem of incomplete downloads. I have found that sometimes
the story is incomplete but the DOWNLOAD ARTICLE option does not
appear. When this happens, the MORE command may be available.
What you should do is this: always check before you save your story to
see if the last line in the text window really looks like the end of
the story. If it’s not, see if the MORE command is available. If it
is, BE CAREFUL; and follow these instructions. First SAVE the first
part of the file (the part that’s already been displayed in the text
window). Second, use the MORE command to get the rest of the story.
This will bump the beginning of the story off the top of the text
window. Third, SAVE the second part of the story under a slightly
different name (e.g., Story2). After you go off-line, use your word
processor to clip off the overlapping part of the second story and
merge the remainder (the part that you missed when saving the first
part) with the first part of the story. By this circuitous route you
can get the story, the whole story, and nothing but the story.
Second Note: The Surf Ng web site has been brought up to date. The latest
scribblings of the ever lovin' Ng sisters, Tammy's Game, Hands On, and Real
Slow Smile are all present on one page or another. The site also now contains
several unfinished works for visitors to peek at, and a complete story never
posted on a.s.s., all as a kind of perk for coming by.
The address is
http://members.aol.com/deidreng/index.htm (yeah, ya gotta use the whole
thing)
Like most authors, they would like to hear from you afterwards.
Third note: It’s a good idea for authors to post their stories on Web
sites, as the Ng sisters are doing. If you are an author who is doing
this, please let me know. I plan to post an updated list of Web sites
soon. Furthermore, if you happen to know that I am publishing
inaccurate information (e.g., saying there is a Web site at an address
where there is none), please let me know.
Finally, if you like what you see on these Web sites, say so to the
authors. Only if they receive some interest and support are they
likely to continue offering this service.
- Celeste
“Trinity Trilogy Novel 2/14” by Tom Trinity
(relationships) 10, 9.5, 9.5
“Room 222: Hit the Showers” by Uncle Mike (sitcom parody)
10, 9.5, 9.5
“Beverly Hillbillies: Elly May, Jethro Mayn’t” by Uncle Mike
(sitcom parody) 10, 7, 5
“A Walk in the Park” by Jym (ff bdsm) 9.5, 8, 5
“The Rites of Summer” by SummerMan (outdoor sex)
10, 8, 10
“Bobbi Sue’s Adventures” by Bobbi Sue (sex on the run)
10, 9.5, 9.5
“100% Woman, 200% Bitch....” by BareHugz (tender bdsm &
probable bestiality) 2, 5, 2
“At the Pool” by Mark Aster (swimming pool sex) 10, 10, 10
“Little Red Riding Hood” by Sarah Jahn (fairy tale sex)
10, 10, 10
“Mekong Orange” by Yannu Abioka (Oriental sex) 10, 8, 10
“River Queen” by RC (sex slavery & humiliation) 10, 9, 6
“Break Room” by RC (masturbation, voyeurism, & bdsm)
10, 10, 10
“Box of Delights” by Orion (mind control) 9, 9, 9
“Trinity Trilogy Novel 2/14” by Tom Trinity (stbush@iglou.com).
Here’s an interesting idea for a story. Why not have a guy at a
science fiction convention walk past the motel swimming pool late at
night? A voice from the pool could ask him to come on in, and he could
reply that he has no swimsuit; and the voice from the pool could
respond, “That’s OK. Neither do I.” They could then flirt and go to
the woman’s room, which is really her parents’ room, and begin to make
love. But then her mother could return unexpectedly, tell the woman to
go to the adjoining room, and then make love to the man herself. The
mother could then leave, telling the girl to return and commenting that
the guy had talent.
This segment of the Trinity Trilogy also includes several overlapping
stories of the three friends at a convention. God’s Gift to Womankind
fucks one of them and then immediately falls asleep, thus violating the
Full Reciprocity Clause of the One Night Contract and justifying the
subsequent acts of Creative Revenge. Also in this segment, the friends
buy a house that they can share; and during the first evening they
manage to christen it by having an orgasm in each of the six rooms.
That’s a major advantage of a menage a trois; the christening would
have been much more work for a mere couple.
Ratings for “Trinity Trilogy Novel 2/14”
Athena (technical quality):10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5
“Room 222: Hit the Showers” by Uncle Mike
(fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu). Two female teachers at Walt Whitman
High School go for a run. They need a shower afterwards, but a gym
class is using the girls’ showers. The coaches’ shower is also in use.
Since no boys’ gym class is scheduled, they decide to sneak into the
boys’ locker room for a quick shower; but they startle a straggler who
is still taking his shower. Some horseplay follows, and then they get
into some hot threeway sex. I remember seeing a few episodes of “Room
222,” but I don’t have a clear recollection of it. I can’t really
evaluate this as a parody, but I found it to be a pretty good story in
its own right.
Ratings for “Room 222”
Athena (technical quality):10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5
“Beverly Hillbillies: Elly May, Jethro Mayn’t” by Uncle Mike
(fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu). Miss Hathaway takes Elly May out to
some shops and helps her purchase lots of new clothes. Elly May
doesn’t see the point of all this. Then Miss Hathaway buys Elly May a
swimsuit, notices that the girl’s tan lines are wrong, and instructs
her to lie outside and get a suntan. She does, and she gets fucked by
the family goat. That’s right: the family goat. Kinda surprises you,
doesn’t it? I mean, if you were going to write a parody about this
really sexy girl from the hills who comes to a rich community along
with her stupid hunk of a brother and her other illiterate relatives,
would you have the only sex be with the family goat? Kinda gets your
goat, doesn’t it?
Ratings for “Beverly Hillbillies”
Athena (technical quality):10
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
“A Walk in the Park” by Jym (GJ@SPRYNET.COM). The woman has been
happily married but has lost interest in sex with her husband in the
several months since their first child was born. She meets an
attractive younger woman who is a photographer and who arranges to rent
the apartment over their garage. She also falls in love with the woman
and becomes her sex slave. As I have said before, I have trouble
understanding how I could feel attracted to another person who said she
loved me but expressed this love my deliberately inflicting pain on me.
It sounds like some kind of perverse religion to me, but the woman in
this story likes it. The sex is clearly described, but the author
spends a lot of time discussing peripheral details, like flowers and
photography. The story ends really abruptly - apparently in the middle
of part 3 of who knows how many parts. It was a well-written but
incomplete story that will appeal to people who like ff bdsm, but it
did not appeal strongly to me.
Ratings for “A Walk in the Park”
Athena (technical quality):9.5
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
“The Rites of Summer” by Wolfgang Amadeus (an648468@anon.penet.fi). The
man and woman have gone on a walk on a hot summer day to a beautiful
cool stream. The man strips and enters the water, which is about five
feet deep. When he returns to the shore, his head is naturally at a
nice spot for a romantic entanglement. They do it in and out of the
water. I found this to be an exceptionally erotic story. The only
problem with the story is that it’s not a complete story- just an
excellent erotic snippet. I cannot possibly do it justice here; you
should read it yourself.
Ratings for “The Rites of Summer”
Athena (technical quality):10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Bobbi Sue's Adventures” by Bobbi Sue (nobody@REPLAY.COM). So far I’ve
seen 13 of these Adventures. I presume there will be more to come.
They purport to be an autobiographical account of what happened to a
30-year old woman when she discovered this newsgroup and started having
fantasies and then acting out those fantasies. I’m skeptical that she
actually DID all the things described in these stories; but I truly
enjoyed the fantasies, and so if Bobbi Sue wants to say these things
really happened, who am I to argue?
Bobbi Sue slipped gradually into depravity. First she read the stories
and jumped her husband when he got home; then she began to masturbate
after reading the stories; and soon she found herself selecting carrots
and cucumbers at the market based on how she thought they would fill
her pussy. Then she begins going nearly naked during her noontime run
and flaunts herself to a passing biker. He asks to fuck her; but she
declines. That would be beyond her present limits. He suggests a blow
job; she compromises at a hand job, as long as she can fuck herself
with the bicycle pump while he cums on her face. All of what I have
described up to now happened in the first Adventure, which was a pretty
good, complete story.
The other Adventures are not as complete, but they are still good
segments of a continuing story. It’s like many weekly TV shows: the
pilot episode is really excellent, but the subsequent episodes never
quite live up to the expectations set by the pilot. Likewise, I think
this author did an excellent job on the first Adventure and then felt
pressured to keep doing it over and over. I think it is possible that
the first story was close to literally true (as the author claims); but
(as I said earlier) I am skeptical about the literal veracity of the
subsequent episodes. I don’t mean to offend the author with that
previous sentence. If someone is going to write sexy stories, it’s
more important to be sexy than truthful; but perhaps it’s not necessary
to claim to be “perfectly truthful” when this is not the case.
Taken together as one large story, these represent very good erotic
material. Bobbi Sue comes across as the consummate exhibitionist.
Remember the biker from Adventure 1? Well, in a later Adventure she
joins him and five of his friends for a little “harmless fun.” She
meets them on the same trail, and the plan is that she will masturbate
for them while they jack off on her. She has promised the original guy
a blow job, but he is the only one who was going to get anything from
her. But things get out of hand <adolescent grin - masturbation gets
out of hand - get it?> and they all end up fucking her. Then another
runner comes by and sees her impaled on a cock with five other guys
standing around waiting their turns. The original group of guys invite
him to take a turn; and so Bobbi Sue ends up fucking him too.
Because she doesn’t want to feel guilty, she decides to get her husband
interested in her Adventures. This is easy. I won’t describe it in
detail, but her strategy involves the old ploy of not wearing any
underpants when a woman goes into a shoe store and tries on some shoes.
After she flashes a few salesmen, they go home and have wild sex, and
her husband becomes a good bet for future participation.
There’s consistency but also a lot of variety in Bobbi Sue’s Merry
Adventures. For example, one of them involves her masturbating with a
soft drink bottle in a motel pool when three guys walk right up to her
and ask how the water is. She tells them that it feels good, and they
jump into the pool right next to her. One of them asks what happened
to her soft drink. It turns out that they had been watching her, and
that just before they came down, they saw her submerge her soda bottle.
Right after they ask the question, one of them reaches down and twists
the bottle, which is still inserted in her pussy. This sort of thing
is probably a bad idea; but it’s a very hot fantasy.
Ratings for “Bobbi Sue's Adventures”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5
“100% Woman, 200% Bitch....” by BareHugz (scg@jps.net).
The full title line of this one was "100% Woman, 200% Bitch.... A Love
Story!! For F's to READ, if you DARE!” I dared. I had to have guts to
dare to do this, because the punctuation was indeed sparse; but to be
fore-warned is to be fore-armed. I was ready for the punctuation, the
spelling, and the usage errors. I went forth to places where a less
daring F would fear to read. I read about gags and plugs and about
somebody named Rusty who might have been a canine creature having sex
with another creature who may have been a woman. I dunno - the author
just called her “you.”
Literacy isn’t this author’s strong point, nor is numeracy. Let’s think
about this -100% woman. Is that good? Well, on the mathematical scale
I learned back in the fourth grade, 100% would be perfect; but here we
have the 100% woman contrasted with 200% bitch. Now, I may not be a
math genius, but that means that this lady is at most half a woman
(100/200 = 1/2). But then, 200% may not be the maximum. I heard an
athlete on TV saying that he always tried to give a thousand percent.
For that matter, the maximum might be a gazillion percent. I’m sorry
about this digression, but I assure you it’s a lot more interesting
than the story.
Ratings for “100% Woman, 200% Bitch....”
Athena (technical quality): 2
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 2
“At the Pool” by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). Sometimes I suspect
that the plots for some of these stories are not very realistic. Take
this one, for example. Do you think that a guy in his middle twenties
would really go to a swimming pool and relax with his pregnant
girlfriend at his side and lust after a high school girl with shapely
tits and a nice ass and legs that won’t quit who is serving her
community as a lifeguard? And if the couple did go to the pool
together and if the guy really did feel horny whenever he looked at the
lifeguard and if he did express his fantasies about this young lady to
his girlfriend, do you think she would really find it interesting to
borrow the lifeguard’s swimsuit and arrange to be alone in the pool
with the guy after closing time? And even if she did do this, do you
think the guy would actually get really turned on by the fantasy of
making it with this cute little lass while he was really driving his
throbbing cock underwater into the pulsating pussy of the lady who will
bear his child? Do you find this as repulsive as I do? And anyway,
how could you get the girl to loan you her swimsuit and let you into
the pool - except, perhaps, by telling her what you plan to do and
telling her that she can watch.
Ratings for “At the Pool
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Little Red Riding Hood” by Sarah Jahn (sfjahn@ix.netcom.com). I enjoy
sex stories based on fairy tales, because I usually know the basic plot
and I enjoy waiting to see how the perverted author will debase and
enrich the original story line. In this case, the wolf is a lusty lady
who could just eat Little Red all up. That’s all you need to know; you
can either fill in the details yourself or read the story. I vaguely
remember a woodcutter or plumber or someone who showed up to rescue
Little Red at the end of the original story; I guess that’s the part
that this author changed. I really enjoyed this cute little story.
One anomaly: fairy tales usually have a moral, but this story does not.
I suppose that’s because authors for this newsgroup don’t have any
morals. <g>
Ratings for “Little Red Riding Hood
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Mekong Orange” by Yannu Abioka (71022.251@compuserve.com). This is
another excerpt from a book published by Spectrum Press. Aside from
“Lady Chatterly’s Lover,” this is stylistically the best excerpt I have
seen among that company’s offerings. It is exceptionally well written.
I cannot tell exactly what the story will be about - except to say that
in the introductory chapter a white Frenchman is making love to a
Vietnamese woman of Chinese ancestry. If I had time to look for a
novel to read, this is one I would take a closer look at.
Ratings for “Mekong Orange
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“River Queen” by RC (74734.271@CompuServe.COM). This is the story of a
queen of a desert country. The general description made me think of
ancient Egypt or perhaps a mythical kingdom of Amazons. While bathing,
the Queen is taken by surprise by an innocent woman. Since this woman
has committed the sin of seeing the Queen naked, she must be punished
by becoming the Queen’s personal sex slave. The story is clearly
written, and I suspect that people who are predisposed to like bdsm
will enjoy it. However, I have trouble getting excited about people
who enjoy humiliating others and treating them like shit. I wouldn’t
like someone to do that to me, and I couldn’t respect myself if I did
it to someone else. I HAVE read bdsm stories that I found to be
arousing. However, like many bdsm stories, this one makes little
attempt to set a context or establish a rationale that would make the
activities seem enjoyable to a non-enthusiast. The next story (“Break
Room” by the same author) does a much better job of making bdsm sound
interesting to a person who would not be inclined to participate
herself or himself.
Ratings for “River Queen
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
“Break Room” by RC (74734.271@CompuServe.COM). Jean and two of her
coworkers have been assigned to a night shift that requires little real
exertion. One of them routinely goes to the break room and takes a
nap. One night Jean awakens from her nap and realizes that she has
become bound to the wall. Shannon is standing in front of her,
masturbating herself to orgasm. The sight of her coworker approaching
her climax at first makes Jean anxious, but then she herself becomes
very horny. She tries to break free - at first to escape from the
threatening situation; but soon her focus becomes more on wanting to
relieve herself sexually. Shannon finishes, and then Traci comes into
the room and does a repeat performance. As if this has not been
enough, both Shannon and Traci next appear together in front of their
captive coworker and make passionate love to each other. When her
coworkers finally set her free, Jean rips off her clothes, jumps their
bodies, and joins the orgy herself.
I have no intention of ever doing this myself. I was going to say that
I had no INTEREST, but as I read this story I realized that wasn’t
true. I would honestly take legal action against anyone that did to me
what Traci and Shannon did to Jean, but I really enjoyed the story. If
I dream about this tonight, I’ll roll over and grab my husband; I won’t
even classify the dream as a nightmare. I strongly recommend this
well-written story.
Ratings for “Break Room
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
“Box of Delights” by Orion (an284654@anon.penet.fi). This story is
being reposted through the THC library. The title refers not to the
box of delights that resides between a lady’s legs, but rather to a
magic box with a red LED that flashes while the holder of the box uses
mental telepathy to control the people to whom he wishes to direct his
thoughts. The story is on this newsgroup rather than, say,
alt.world.salvation or alt.world.conquest because the current holder of
the box is a horny son of a bitch with simple needs. After his first
day with the box, two females would arrive home with wet pussies, and
one of them might wonder why her anus felt as if it had been stretched.
A red-headed shop-assistant would wonder when the cold wind hit her
cunt why her panties were in her locker instead of on her body. A
female bank teller would have to explain the loss of a small amount of
cash. Over the next few days, a surprisingly large number of women
would feel an inexplicable urge to remove their panties and to bend
over a little further while performing life’s mundane tasks.
An interesting twist that the author doesn’t reveal until late in the story is
that he is required to give the magic box to whoever sends the next good mind
control story to this newsgroup. A major problem, of course, is that since
this is a repost, we don’t really know who has the box now or whether that
conditional clause was permanent and is still legally binding for the current
holder. So I don’t know for sure whether you really can have the box by
writing a story. At any rate, the author will eventually lose the box, and
you might think he would therefore stop having his telepathic jollies. Not
so! He has employed a trick that countless stage hypnotists have employed -
the "trigger phrase". He has pre-programmed most of the women in his
neighborhood, and when one of them hears the phrase a year or a decade or so
after the box is gone, she will at that time obey every order - just as if she
was under the direct influence of the Box. However, I’m pretty sure the box
doesn’t work on reviewers.
Ratings for “Box of Delights
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9