Celestial Reviews 30 - Oct 21, 1995
FREE SPELLING ADVICE: I have recently noticed a larger than usual
number of stories that are labeled "consentual." There is such a word,
but it's a legal term. An uncontested divorce, for example, might be
consentual. The term for sex between (or among) agreeing parties is
"consensual." The difference seems to be that "consentual" refers to a
more formal, legally-binding consent. Oddly enough, the dictionary
gives a second, physiological definition of "consensual" that
accurately describes something that often occurs in my husband's
anatomy when we engage in sex according to the first definition of
"consensual." Imagine that!
- Celeste
"My Sister's Tits" by Cactus Juggler (mind control & D&s)
9.5
"Tie Fighter" by Walter Slaven (sci fi and hot sex) 10
"A Wife, a Husband, and the Paperboy" by Caesar (teen
sex & rape) 8
*"Chauffeur's Dirty Job" by Caesar (sex with the boss's
wife) 6.5
"Coffee" by Deirdre (voyeurism and spanking) 10
"Compensation" by Deirdre (anal sex) 7
"Company" by Deirdre (breasts & bondage) 10
*Repost of a previous review (because the story has
recently been reposted).
"My Sister's Tits" by Cactus Juggler (an385203@anon.penet.fi). Here we
have a tale of sibling rivalry run amuck. Pam was always mommy's and
daddy's favorite little girl, but now her sister has decided to make
her suffer for this favoritism. Pam initially becomes her sister's
slave by ingesting some of her sister's miraculous milk. Nora, it
seems, has huge boobs that emit a sweet tasting lactation that makes
anyone who tastes it become Nora's slave. (This is all very
scientific. The story explains it in two concise paragraphs.)
Although Pam is initially enslaved by the magic tits, her training as a
slave is through the normal training, as it is typically described in
a.s.s. D&s stories. There's more emphasis than usual on anal
humiliation; and the sisterly angle gives it a different twist. As I
have said before, I often have trouble enjoying D&s stories, because I
think they are bizarre and degrading. This one also seemed that way to
me; but once I tentatively accepted the assumption that this was a
valid art form, I actually began to enjoy the story. The action is
sick and demented; but I doubt that the author would deny that. But
the story was also fascinating. D&s enthusiasts will probably enjoy
this story even more than I did. In real life, I think this sort of
thing is about as probable as aliens taking control of the US senate or
the Cleveland Indians winning the World Series; but you can never
tell....
I can't wait to see "Pam's Revenge," which the author has promised as a
sequel. Eventually, of course, I hope these two sisters will get over
their misunderstandings, and get back together with their mother - who,
I forgot to tell you, is also a slave, suckling at the breasts of the
evil Nora. (Rating: 9.5)
"Tie Fighter" by Walter Slaven (walters@ix.netcom.com). This story is
an addition to the Star Wars saga - told from the perspective of a tie
fighter captain - that is, from the perspective of one of the enemies
of Luke and Han and Leia. As I said in an earlier review, this is a
well written, enthralling story, well worth downloading and reading -
if you enjoy a heavy dose of action, adventure, and science fiction
with your sex. The sex is exotic and hot, but it's almost a stretch to
call this a sex story. I would describe it more accurately as real
good science fiction that incorporates sexual activity as a natural
part of the story line. At the present time the author has posted five
lengthy chapters; and I cannnot predict how many more are yet to come.
The author has obviously given careful thought to the plot and has
taken pains to make it a reasonable extension of the original Star Wars
trilogy. As an adult watching Star Wars with my children, I remember
being amused to think that the evil Darth Vader and his cronies would
capture Princess Leia and treat her like a princess while they held her
in captivity. The Bad Guys would blow up an entire planet to make her
talk; but they wouldn't think of deflowering the virgin princess. In
the present chapter we hear J'Una recount (with appropriate disgust) a
more realistic version of what happened to Princess Leia. Before all
you perverts rush to your word processors and start searching for
"Leia" so that you can find the "good parts," I should add that while
the violence against Leia is described realistically, it is not graphic
or titillating. On the other hand, the hot, consensual sex among the
protagonists IS often graphic and titillating. I like that focus.
As the story has progressed, the personalities of the major characters
have begun to evolve. We discover that things are not dichotomized
into black and white in the Empire - we see shades of gray and many
other colors. The Tie Fighter pilots and even higher ranking officials
like J'Una actually have consciences and wonder whether they might be
making a mistake to slavishly implement the will of the emperor. In
many ways Vel, Kao, and J'Una resemble American soldiers in Vietnam,
who began to question their country's actions when they witnessed some
of the atrocities committed in the name of "freedom," even while they
continued to perform their duties faithfully and professionally.
As in earlier chapters, the protagonists continue to have raucous sex,
and the threesome action with Vel, J'Una, and Kao in chapter 5 is
especially hot. But we see emotional attachments as well. In
addition, midway through chapter 5 we learn that the Empire is rife
with political dissent. Toward the end of chapter 5 this dissent and
these emotions start to combine to lead to the eventual resolution of
the plot. All these elements make the story more complex and more
worthwhile.
I think if I had my choice, I would just wait until this entire story
was finished and then download and read it. It really is a little
confusing to relate, for example, the events in chapter 5 to something
that I read three months ago in chapter 2. (However, the author does
conscientiously offer appropriate cross references to earlier
chapters.) Normally, when I read or watch a story, I do so in one
sitting or at least as quickly as possible. Having to wait adds
inconvenience and confusion; but that's just the way authors work on
a.s.s. (Incidentally, this is also the way Charles Dickens published
most of his major novels. No, he didn't post them on a.s.s.; but he
did serialize them in the London newspaper.) I'm getting the story for
free; so who am I to complain? If you haven't downloaded this story
yet, I encourage you to do so. (Rating: 10)
"A Wife, a Husband, and the Paperboy" by Caesar
(jsharpe@access.awinc.com). I read this story mostly because its title
reminded me of one of my recurring dreams - not exactly a nightmare,
but something that Freud dude would certainly understand: opening the
door when I'm half asleep and realizing that I'm not completely
dressed. A more common variation is taking off my warmup pants at a
racquetball tournament and discovering - in front of a large crowd -
that I forgot to put anything on under my warmup pants. I don't know
where I have a third variaton that deals with church; but I won't
describe the details here. (I refer to these as weird dreams; but I
should admit to you that I am sitting here completely naked at this
keyboard while I write this. Perhaps I'm dreaming.)
In this story, the paperboy accosts the dishevelled wife, they become
passionate, he fucks her, and then the husband comes home. The enraged
husband throws the paperboy out of the house and then rapes his wife,
who feels guilty and apologetic and therefore enjoys the abuse. The
husband eventually realizes that he has neglected his wife, and both
resolve to be better partners. The only unresolved questions are how
this will affect their paper delivery and what will happen the next
time the paperboy comes to collect. Perhaps the wife had better pay by
mail for a while. The story is actually pretty good, but it is marred
by sloppy grammar and spelling. For example, I found it a little hard
not to be distracted when the woman realized she was going to be
"rapped" by her own husband. Although he was beating (rapping?) her,
I'm pretty sure he was going to "rape" the poor woman.
Back to my dreams. I have a question about the Rules of Monogamy, to
which my husband and I voluntarily subscribe. It's my understanding
that these rules don't apply to dreams. But what about when I'm in the
throes of passion with, let's say, two sexy guys and a beautiful woman
who is kissing my asscheeks and fondling my breasts while the other two
participants are fucking various apertures of my body? My question is
this: when it occurs to me to wonder whether or not this is a dream,
how far do the Rules of Monogamy require me to pursue this issue? If I
think too hard, I invariably wake up and miss the end of my orgasm - or
at least the end of my final orgasm - which I was techincally allowed
to have (and which my husband would not begrudge me), since it was only
a dream. On the other hand, if I don't think about it, I may discover
that it's not a dream at all; and I would almost certainly rue the day
that I had broken the Rules of Monogamy. (This issue becomes more
complicated if there really are characters in the world like those in
Backrub's "Wet Dreams," but I'm pretty sure that story was mostly
fiction.) Up till now, I have always compromised by attacking my
husband as soon as I wake up with a soaking wet pussy and fucking his
brains out. He maintains that this is the only moral solution; and
although I sometimes feel sorry for him when this happens more than two
or three times a week, he is wonderfully understanding and cooperative.
He says the moral issue is related to Pascal's Wager; however, I have
my doubts. I have written this question to both Ann Landers and Dear
Abby and to the Pascal Institute; and you'd think they'd at least have
the courtesy to reply. So, if any moral philosophers would like to
share their insights with me, I would be happy to hear them.
Back to the story This was a creative story that could be improved
through better proofreading. (Rating: 8)
*"Chauffeur's Dirty Job" by Caesar (jsharpe@access.awinc.com). When
the chauffeur is asked to drive the boss's intoxicated wife home, she
comes on to him by masturbating wildly in the back seat of the
limousine. By the time he pulls the car over to have sex with her,
she is asleep in her drunken stupor. He screws her anyway, and she
wakes up mumbling the name of a third party - neither the chauffeur nor
the husband. The story is pretty interesting; but it includes a large
number of typographical errors (usually correctly spelled but wrong
words) that are often extremely distracting. (Rating: 6.5)
"Coffee" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). When housewives/mothers
get their last preschooler off to school and finally have some time on
their hands, what do you men think they do? They gather for coffee, of
course. Do you really think they sit around and drink coffee, or is it
more likely that they engage in kinky sex? Guess!! Actually, in real
life they drink coffee while watching either soaps or talk shows until
Jeopardy comes on. But that's not the way this story tells it!
(Rating: 10)
"Company" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). . This is another story
that verifies my theory that Deirdre is actually Sherwood Anderson
reincarnated. I have no idea what this story is about. But from the
first paragraph to the last word, I couldn't take myself away from the
computer screen. Very interesting! (Rating: 10)
"Compensation" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). A man has been
longing to have anal sex with his wife, but she has adamantly declined.
For his birthday, she let's him have her ass; but he has to pay.
You'll have to read the story to find out how he pays. (Rating: 7)
TIP OF THE WEEK: In each issue of Celestial Reviews I present one of
the guidelines from Celestial Grammar, which I have posted on alt
sex.stories.d. and which I'll continue to develop and revise from time
to time. My theory is that if all of these tips were followed, about
95% of the really distracting errors in a.s.s. stories would be
eliminated. I was going to name this part of the column TIP OF THE
{something sexual}, but I thought the innuendo might detract from the
sober serious business at hand. Here is this issue's Tip:
**SOME FREQUENTLY MISUSED WORDS**.
CHOOSE/CHOSE. *Choose* is the present tense. It rhymes with snooze.
*Chose* is the past tense. It rhymes with hoes.
ITS/IT'S. *It's* means "it is." *Its* means "belonging to it." (This
is a little bit illogical, because normally an apostrophe shows
possession. But not with it.)*ITS'* doesn't exist.
LOSE/LOOSE. People *lose* things (including their virginity and their
tempers). When things are not tight, they're *loose* (which rhymes
with goose).
THERE, THEIR, THEY'RE. Use *their* to mean "of them."
Example: "I could see their pussies through the hole in the
wall."
Use *there* to mean "over there" or "in that place" and in the
expression "there is."
Example: "When I got there, she was already undressed."
Example: "There are lots of good stories on a.s.s."
Use *they're* to mean "they are."
Example: "They're going to be surprised at how good her pussy
tastes."
Combined Example of All Three: "They're going to fuck their brains out
when they get there."