SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY

                            by

                       Joe Whatever



Prudence Goody sipped her lemonade as she sat on the porch of the 
stately southern mansion.  "It's good of you to see me, Corporal 
Justice.  Your Reconstruction 'Justice Tribunals' have generated 
a great deal of interest up North."

"I'm surprised that word has reached Massachusetts", the black 
former Union corporal replied.  "But I'm flattered that your 
'Abolitionist Newsletter' would think my mission important enough 
to investigate the facts."

He savored his lemonade and smiled.  "And, of course, I'm doubly 
gratified that they picked a young lady as lovely as yourself."

The blushing Prudence quickly began her questioning:

    * Is subjecting former slave holders to corporal punishment 
in the presence of their former slaves justice...or revenge?

    * Your tribunal exempts men and punishes only lovely young 
white women.  Why?

    * Is it necessary to strip the women naked for punishment?

    * Is it true that the male and female ex-slaves laugh, jeer, 
and play music while their mistresses are punished?

    * Is it true that, after the punishment, the freed male slaves 
and your fellow black soldiers use the bound women indecently?

As the questioning proceeded, Prudence could tell that her host was 
growing irritated.  Southern men had suffered enough during the 
War, he explained, and, as an escaped slave, he knew that Southern 
women had kept the plantation system running during the War.  Of 
course the slaves were allowed to watch; humiliation was part of 
the punishment.  And if the slaves took some liberties with their 
female owners, it was but a small taste of what white masters had 
enjoyed for generations.

Berween the columns of the porch, Prudence could see ex-slaves 
gathering in front of the huge oak tree in front of the house.  
One of them was oiling a worn razor strap, while two others were 
carefully positioning a rope over a tree branch.

It was a hot day, but she felt a ghastly chill run down her spine.  
She had heard that the vengeful corporal hung proud white women 
upside down by their dainty feet...naked for all to see.

She swallowed, and nervously resumed her questions.

    * Your tribunal punished white women in Mississippi who had 
nothing to do with slavery.  In one infamous case you punished 
the daughter of an abolitionist congressman who was traveling 
south to visit her cousin.

"I punish the guilty," Corporal Justice thundered.  "And 
goody-goody Yankee abolitionists who preach of the horrors 
of the whip from the safety of the North are worse than the 
Southerners."

Prudence looked across the lawn and saw to her dismay that the 
crowd of assembled ex-slaves and black soldiers was staring 
directly at her.

A muscular, shirtless black stood by the oak tree, grinning evilly 
at her as he impatiently tapped the razor strap against his beefy 
palm.

"If you will join me at the tree of justice, young lady," the 
corporal said smoothly, "we'll continue your lesson in Southern 
hospitality...."



Edited by C. Lakewood

© 29 August 2003