PAGEANTS, PUMPKINS, & PLATFORMS

                              by

                           Joe Doe


AGNES CRAMP ARRANGES A HATEFUL AND HUMBLING HALLOWEEN "PAGEANT" 
FOR HER LOVELY NEIGHBOR SARA GOOD IN THIS SHORT STORY.

 

"Sara Good, you have been convicted of the crime of sorcery," 
the Magistrate intoned.  "You have cured sickness with herbs 
and killed Agnes Cramp's cow by giving it the evil eye.  You 
have tempted men to impure thoughts with your unholy looks and 
flirtatious ways."   

The Magistrate paused and adjusted the buckle on his hat before 
pronouncing sentence.  "Bring the prisoner to the block, so she 
may take her punishment on the witches' night of All Hallows Eve." 

Agnes Cramp watched with grim satisfaction as the beautiful Sara 
Good was pushed up the roughly hewn steps of the punishment block 
to face the eager crowd.  Agnes had planned this moment for years, 
and she was determined to savor her moment of triumph. 

It was a crisp Halloween morning, and Agnes noticed that her 
barefoot rival was scrunching her toes up in an effort to fight 
off the cold.  Agnes glanced over at the thick birch rods soaking 
in brine and smiled.  Sara's dainty feet would warm up quickly 
enough once the executioner set her dancing. 

Sara was obviously flustered and upset.  She was fresh from her 
cell; her long, beautiful hair was unkempt, and a formless cotton 
shift hung loosely from her slender but shapely frame. 

Agnes frowned as she noticed the lustful stares of the men and 
the envious glances of the women.  Even now, Sara Good was the 
prettiest woman in town! 

"We'll see how pretty she is after her bottom warming," Agnes 
thought, maliciously.  "The little coquette won't look so haughty 
when she's crying and kicking and begging for mercy.  Let her 
flirt with the men then!" 

Agnes didn't believe in witches, of course, any more than she 
believed the Halloween stories she'd heard in the village square.  

But, if an accusation of witchcraft could be used to degrade and 
humiliate her enemy, then she was more than willing to allow for 
the impossible. 

The thought of the proud and sophisticated beauty jerking and 
squirming before the entire town thrilled Agnes.  Just think...the 
beautiful Sara Good, begging and pleading like a little girl as 
her shapely fanny was tanned in front of everybody. 

It was more like Christmas than Halloween! 

Agnes had made sure that Sara was locked in a cell without a 
bucket; with any luck, Sara might foul herself on the block.  The 
sight of the haughty princess standing in a pool of her own making 
would be the sweetest revenge imaginable! 

Agnes watched unsympathetically as the executioner unbound Sara's 
delicate wrists in preparation for her punishment.  Before he could 
proceed to the next step, Agnes called out in a shrill voice, 
"EXECUTIONER!  I DEMAND RECOMPENSE!" 

Sara looked down from the block in surprise as she noticed her 
sworn enemy for the first time.  Sara had been convicted of 
killing the cow, but demands for compensation were always made in 
court.  She had brought extra money with her to the trial to pay 
compensation for any damages claimed. 

But now she was standing barefoot on the punishment block, naked 
to the world except for the thin punishment shift.    

It made no sense.  How was she going to pay for the cow now? 

"Do you have money to pay for the cow, woman?" the Magistrate 
asked solemnly.   

"N-no, good s-sir," Sara stammered.  "The jailer took my clothes 
and money when he put me in the cell.  I have nothing but the 
clothes on my back!" 

"Let us have those, then," Agnes said quickly, her voice crackling 
with excitement.  "Give me her shift, Lord Magistrate, as payment 
for my cow.  "Make the witch stand naked before the judgment of the 
law!"   

The crowd went wild with this unexpected turn of events.  The 
voices seemed to come from everywhere. 

"Yes, strip the little doxy bare!" a man called out eagerly.  

"Let's see Sara Good's goods!" another man shouted as the crowd 
roared with laughter.

"Strip her NAK-ED," an old crone in the back screeched.  "Shame 
the witch!" 

"Shuck off her witch's shawl," another woman yelled.  "Take away 
her cursed clothes." 

"Yes, strip her butt-naked," another man cried. 

"We need to see if there is a Witch's mark!" one of Sara's 
neighbors helpfully suggested. 

Soon the enormous crowd was a chanting mass of people demanding 
her humiliation.  The Magistrate smiled.  He had been unsure about 
the plan when Agnes had suggested it, but the people had spoken! 

Sara gasped as she felt the executioner grasp the hem of her robe 
and begin to slowly raise the garment over her blushing face. 

The crowd held its collective breath as first her lovely knees, 
then her creamy white thighs were revealed.  

The executioner paused...and then whisked the garment up, exposing 
Sara for all to see!   

She tried to shield her lovely charms from the braying crowd, but 
the executioner would have none of it.  He quickly bound her 
wrists to the coarse rope that was dangling from the scaffold. 

She swung helplessly, with her dainty toes barely brushing the 
ground. 

The whistling, hooting, and hollering became deafening as the 
executioner slowly turned the dangling, blushing beauty.  The 
crowd cheered and jeered as they viewed Sara's nakedness from 
every angle.... 

In public whippings, the prisoner's legs were always bound to 
prevent indecent exposure when the witch thrashed and kicked under 
the cruel caress of the birch.  But, as the executioner prepared 
to tie Sara's ankles, the smiling Agnes held aloft a shiny coin. 

"Where be the indecency, if the she holds her legs together like 
a proper lady, instead of spreading them like a cheap strumpet?" 
Agnes asked. 

The magistrate nodded, and Sara watched in helpless horror as the 
executioner pocketed the coin.  

Agnes presented the pleased executioner with a second coin, in 
order to ensure that the strokes would be applied with uncommon 
vigor.  Such a gratuity was hardly necessary when the victim was 
as well known, lovely, and unpopular as Sara.  But the burly 
executioner winked and took the money anyway as the powerless 
Sara dangled helplessly in front of the hooting crowd. 

The executioner picked up the first birch rod and shook off the 
brine.  A few of icy drops hit the backs of Sara's thighs, and 
she immediately tensed her muscles in preparation. 

"Look, she's clenching her bottom!" one man yelled.  "She can't 
wait to get started!" 

"Don't worry, little girl," an old woman cackled.  "We'll warm 
your fanny soon enough!"   

The crowd exploded with laughter, and Sara bit her lip in 
humiliation.  She knew she was not popular, but she had never 
realized how many people hated her until this moment.   

As Sara felt the executioner measure the first stroke against her 
quivering, flinching bottom, she gritted her teeth and silently 
vowed to learn what she could from the experience. 

"Her nipples are hard from the cold," another woman noted with 
mock sympathy.  "Warm her fanny good!" 

Sara's mouth formed an inexpressible "O" of shame and agony as the 
first stroke landed on her soft, bare skin.  The spoiled heiress 
had known ease and comfort her entire life, but the today the 
scales of justice would finally tip back into balance.  

The Magistrate smiled; getting the lovely but unpopular Sara Good 
to sign up as "The Queen" for this years Halloween pageant was a 
masterstroke.  She hadn't known about the nudity, of course, and 
it was clear from the panicked look in her eyes that she didn't 
realize that her birching would be for real until after the first 
stroke landed.  But, as the Magistrate watched the smiling crowd 
laughing, hooting, and snapping pictures as Sara was put through 
her paces, he decided the trick was definitely worth the treat....



Edited by C. Lakewood