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Illegal Vietnamese ladyboy;

m/F t/F, t/M, etc.


It's hard to get a job as an immigrant in Britain.  Even harder
when you have no identity papers.

I was just 16 years old when I arrived from Vietnam.  My family
had spent all they had to have me smuggled here.  The journey was
long and hard, and I arrived at my cousin's apartment with little
more than the clothes on my back.

My cousin was the pride of the family; she had earned a
scholarship to a British university, and then went on to marry
one of her fellow students and become a legal resident.

I hadn't seen her for at least four years, since she was
seventeen years old.  I was quite shocked at the changes I saw in
her.  She answered the door with her hair down [it reached her
hips], and she had makeup on and a lot of cheap jewelry.  She
wore a short skirt and high heels; my heart skipped a beat as I
realized that this was the woman I had come to stay with.

Sue was a legal resident, and had a decent job.  But for an
illegal, there were only a couple of things to do aside from
prostitution and drug dealing; cleaning and construction work.

I was much too frail looking to get hired on those construction
sites.  There were all these big East Bloc guys, and some of them
even had experience.

I'm very thin and small compared with European people.  I tried
to find a cleaning job.

There were a few hotels that were known to hire "black" labor.
But I was having a hard time getting in.

My cousin used to work as a cleaner in a hotel during her
university days, but that hotel only hired women.

It made me quite angry; there was supposed to be no
discrimination here in Europe.

I was desperate, I needed work.  I wasn't here to sponge from my
cousin, I was here to earn money to make a life for myself, and
hopefully send some home as well.

"I know how to get you that job."  My cousin Sue said. "We'll put
you in one of my dresses, and put some ear rings on you."

I thought she was joking at first.

She helped me dress, painted my face for me, and leant me some
cheap jewelry.

I smiled at the manager as he looked me up and down.  He hired

That's how I began dressing as a girl.  Clothes are expensive,
and my wages were low; I couldn't afford two wardrobes, so I
mostly had woman's clothes in my closet.

Also, Sue was worried that if it was known a man was living with
her, she could have trouble with her divorce.  I couldn't afford
any kind of trouble since I had no papers at all, and she
convinced me that I'd have less trouble as a girl.

I soon got used to it, and I even used to go out to the shops
like that, especially if I was looking for more clothes or some
costume jewelry, shoes, or accessories.

People were much more friendly to me when I was a woman.  Somehow
people were threatened by a foreign male, but a foreign female
was okay with them.  And the prettier I made myself, the more
friendly they were.

Even the women would smile at me on the street.  The men were
often a bit rude, but they were mostly fine.  Sometimes on the
bus, they would grab my ass or touch my legs.  I got a laugh out
of that, wondering what they would think of themselves if they
knew they were getting a thrill by feeling up a guy in drag.

Of course, I couldn't have a girlfriend; but it was unlikely that
I would find one anyway, being rather unattractive as a male as
well as quite destitute.

As a woman, I was very attractive; of course I couldn't have a
boyfriend since a few well-placed grabs at my body would reveal
the truth about me.  But it was nice to be attractive, to be
smiled at and flirted with, to be treated well.  I let my hair
grow long and learned how to make my face pretty.  I invested in
a pair of small but well formed strap on breasts.  My life was
twisted, but not bad.

It was a little difficult, living with my cousin; she had several
boyfriends, and I had to keep out of her way when she brought one

Sometimes, she'd invite one for dinner, and I'd do the cooking
and serve them.  The English men like their food very bland,
completely tasteless.

I would always dress carefully and make sure my makeup was
perfect if Sue was bringing a man to the apartment.  I don't know
why, but I found it's important to be attractive.

I used to watch her with them.  I was very lonely, my situation
being what it was.  I had almost no hope of finding someone to
love me anytime soon.  Watching my cousin was all I had.

Her bedroom didn't have a proper door, just strings of beads
hanging across the doorway.  When I turned off the lights in the
main room, I couldn't be seen as I lurked outside.

I was amazed at the things she did with them.  Especially when
she sucked their huge white European cocks.  Her thick black hair
across their pale bodies as her head would rise up and down on
their shafts drove me crazy.

They would kiss her and hold her tight, they would lick her in
return, and she would twist and cry softly with pleasure, holding
their pale faces in her hands, her long bright red nails digging
into their heads as she climaxed.

She loved to be penetrated.  I liked to watch her face as a man
would enter her.  She always looked so excited and happy.

I always had mixed feelings about their large powerful bodies
dominating my lovely cousin, their thick arms around her slim
body, their thick barbarian penises inside her slim Vietnamese

It excited me to watch, excited me terribly.  But at the same
time I felt sorrow and shame.  Sorrow for my cousin who couldn't
seem to find a man that would stay with her and care for her.
Shame for my family, knowing how they would be hurt if they knew
of her promiscuity.

She often wouldn't want to see a fellow again after she had let
him in her bed.

"Tell him I'm not here."  She'd say when I had one on the phone
asking for her.

"Why don't you like him?"  I asked her once afterwards. "He seems
like a nice man, he took you out many times, and you say you
enjoyed his company."

"Didn't you see how pale and rough his skin was?"  She asked me.
"And he is so loud and rude."

"Didn't he please you last night?"  I asked.  I felt more like a
woman than a man by then, so it was okay to ask such into the
questions; we were talking girl to girl, sort of.

"I enjoyed myself at the time, but now I find I don't want to see
him again."  She told me. "It's just how I feel."

Often, when Sue would finely tell them she didn't want to see
them anymore, they would ask me out on a date.  Of course I
always said no, but sometimes I thought it would be fun to go out
and see a movie or get treated to a nice meal.  Some of them were
really nice.

Sue and I became very close; we told each other our secrets,
brushed each other's hair, and would file and paint each other's
fingernails.  She showed me how to make myself look right, how to
walk in high-heeled shoes, and how to dress.

One night, as we sat in front of the television together, we
started to snuggle together; I put my arm around her, and she put
her hand on my thigh. I had stopped thinking about having sex
with her; I was a girl to her, not a man.  But spontaneously, we
began to make love.  We kissed for a long time, exploring each
other, contemplating the possibilities.

What would become of our relationship?  I knew it could be
dangerous.  I had watched her dispose of so many lovers.  But I
had to have her; I was a virgin, I had never even kissed a girl
before.  I was overwhelmed with carnal desire, it overwhelmed my
better judgment.

Many times I had watched men lick her vagina; I had an idea what
she liked.  I did my best, licking her first slowly, then

She sucked my cock, like she did for all her boyfriends.  I felt
so privileged as I watched her beautiful face against me, sucking
on my small inadequate penis as though it was as good as any she
had experienced.

I exploded in her mouth, unable in my inexperience to prevent

We relaxed and kissed for some time, and I became hard again.

We were both completely naked as I entered her; her flesh against
mine was a sensation unlike any I'd ever even imagined.  The soft
warm smoothness of her, her true femininity eclipsing my
artificial girlhood.

Her face was as joyous and excited as I had ever seen her; she
climaxed two times before we were through.

"I don't know if it was a wise thing that we did last night."
Sue said to me over breakfast.

"I'm sorry, cousin." I told her. "I didn't mean to take advantage
of you."

She laughed, and said; "Don't be sorry, you did nothing wrong.  I
am the experienced one here, I made the decision.  Was it good
for you?"

"It was the greatest night of my life."  I answered her

"Then you would want to do it again?"  She asked.

"If you do."  I told her.

She thought about it as she ate the food I had served her.

"I will have other lovers."  She informed me.

"I understand, Sue."  I said, feeling great pain yet great joy;
of course I couldn't compare with the men she knew, but she would
allow me to make love with her sometimes; she had agreed that we
could be lovers.

"You are very sweet, little cousin."  She told me with a smile
that warmed my heart, "And I do love you dearly.  But you know
how I sometimes need a real man."

"Yes, I know."  I answered her.

When I saved up enough money, I managed to buy some forged
identification documents.  With documents, I could get a legal
job, and a bank account.  My new identity was female; that's how
I spent most of my time, and how I worked.  As a woman.

But then I started to get worried about how dangerous it was; how
simple it would be for someone to find me out.  I investigated
the possibility of breast implants.  It could be done, but was
very expensive.  I found out that I could order hormones over the
Internet that would probably work for me, since I was not yet
even 17 years old.

I was amazed at how quickly it all happened; my new feminine
appendages began budding within four months.

And along with my breasts, new feelings began to form in my
chest.  I began to find men more and more attractive.  I
repressed these feelings, but I longed to be held and cherished.
I wanted to feel strong arms around me, I wanted to taste a man's

My cousin seemed to enjoy my little breasts.  My nipples puffed
up like hers, and she liked to suck on them and play with them
while we had sex.

I had read that many men can no longer become erect when they
take those hormones, but somehow I could.  Perhaps it was my

Usually, I cleaned unoccupied rooms, but sometimes the guests
were there.  I always felt very self-conscious to be in someone's
room with them.  The uniform we had to wear wasn't at all
revealing, but did leave some leg showing, and showed my slim
figure.  Most of the people who stayed were single men, traveling
on business.  They all looked at me in that way that men look at
desirable women.  There were mirrors everywhere, I could keep an
eye on them even when they thought I wasn't looking.  It
frightened me and excited me.

One day, an American man propositioned me.

"What's your name, sweetheart?"  He asked first.

"Joon Lee."  I answered him.

"Where are you from, Joon?" He asked me.

"Vietnam." I answered.

"Really?  I was there when I was young."  He told me.  I hadn't
realized he was that old.

"I think Vietnamese girls are the most beautiful in the world."
He added.  It took me a moment to realize he was talking about
me.  I busied myself with the bed sheets.

"How much do you earn, working here?"

"Very little."  I answered him.

"Would you like to earn extra 50 pounds?"  He asked quietly.

I turned and stared at him in shock; he actually wanted to pay me
money to have sex with him.  The idea appalled me; how demeaning,
how terrible.

But 50 pounds; that was a lot of money.  I could buy that dress
I'd seen the day before.

He wasn't an unattractive man; in fact, I had been excited just
being alone in the room with him.

He stood up and slowly walked to the door; very gently, he closed

"No, I can't do something like that."  I told him; I meant it

Slowly, deliberately, he unbuckled his trousers. "Of course you
can, Joon Lee."  He said, "It's easy, there's nothing wrong with
it.  There's no shame in giving a man pleasure; there's no shame
at all."

He opened his trousers, and fished out his big white penis.  It
was at least his big as any that I'd seen.  It was beautiful, and
my mouth watered with desire.  But I was no whore!  I couldn't do
it for money. and yet, I felt flattered this man would pay.  I
could give him a blow job, that was possible; it was more than
possible, it was my dream.

He sat down in the chair, and spread his legs.

"Come on now, Joon Lee."  He said, pointing at his stiff penis
with one hand while he stroked it with the other, his eyes never
leaving mine.

"I bet you've done this before.  Come on now, kneel down here."

Without thinking, without consciously knowing what I was doing, I
approached him.  I kneeled down on the carpet between his legs; I
reached out and touched his hot white penis, I closed my hand
around it.  It bulged with power, and a shiver went through my
body.  My heart was pounding in my ears, my little dick was
straining in my panties.  I looked up at his face; he seemed so
strong, so manly; he had been with many girls, real girls.  He
wanted me, he wanted me to suck his dick now.  He found me
attractive, he thought I was sexy; I could see the anticipation
and desire in his expression and he waited for my mouth to cover
his sex.

There was no going back anyway, I had to do it.  I had to
overcome my fear and suck this cock I held in my hands, his big
beautiful potent penis.  I could never have such an organ for
myself, this was as close as I would ever be to having such a
one; to worship the penis of another, the penis of a real man.

I could never be a real woman either, but I could pretend.  If I
pleasured this man, and he thought I was a woman, then that was
as close as it would be possible to be.

The feeling of his penis against my lips was heavenly; its hot
power in my mouth was devilish.  I had never done it, but I knew
how it was done.  My sweet cousin had given me many blow jobs,
and I knew how to pleasure this man.  He strong fingers ran
through my thick black hair as I stroked his big hairy balls and
sucked his penis deep into my mouth, as I looked up into his eyes
and smiled around his cock.

I didn't want it to end; it was so wonderful, I wanted it to last
forever.  But after some time, he had to come; and I wanted him
to come, I wanted that final fulfillment of knowing I'd truly
satisfied a man.  I wanted his hot sperm, and I got it.

He held my head between his hands and groaned, pumping his big
manly penis in out of my sissy lips.  Once more, I looked up at
his face.  He looked down at me with a strange expression as his
dick erupted at last.

I didn't know if I would be able to handle it; of course I was
afraid.  But it was no problem.  My mouth filled with the
unfamiliar fluid, and I swallowed it all.  I was so proud of

"You Vietnamese whores give the best head."  He said, slumping
back in the chair. "I've always said so."  He added.

I finished making the bed and cleaning the toilet.

As I turned to leave, he handed me five 20 pound notes.

"I'll be seeing you soon."  He told me.

About a month later, the man was staying in the hotel again, with
another American man.

My knees were trembling in fear and excitement as I entered the
room; how I longed to feel his penis in my mouth again, to taste
his sperm.  And yet I was terribly afraid.

Afraid of these forbidden feelings, the doubly forbidden action;
doing it with a man, and accepting money.  I could refuse the
money; but if you've ever been as poor as I was, you'd know how
difficult that is.

"Joon Lee, this is my friend Steve. This is the girl I was
telling you about Steve, the hottest little maid in London.  She
can vacuum the floor with one hand, and vacuum your dick at the
same time!"

The men laughed, as I blushed with embarrassment.

"Hey, Joon Lee;" the man called Steve said to me as I tried to
get on with my work, "Sam and I would like to take you out
tonight.  Don't you have a friend or something to make it a

The idea of the date, of being taken to dinner by a man was about
the only thing more exciting to me in the possibility of
pleasuring his penis.  A date!  To be treated like a human being
at last.

"I could ask my cousin."  I said.

"Is she cute?"  Steve asked.

"Very cute."  I said proudly.

My cousin was doubtful; "Americans?  American soldiers?"

"They're not soldiers anymore, that was 30 years ago."

"How old are these men?"

"They don't look very old."

"How old are they?  Tell me."

"Well, they're both very fit.  But I suppose 50 or 60 years old."

"Are you mad?  Sixty years old!  Forget it. "

"Please cousin, please!  I've never been on a date before.  I so
want to go, and they're such generous men."

She looked at me suspiciously; "What do you mean, 'generous'?"

I told her at last; how I'd given the man a blow job, and he paid
me not 50, but 100 pounds.  I left out his remark about "whores",

"I'm not a prostitute!"  My cousin shouted.  I was surprised at
how upset she was.

"But your boyfriends are always buying you gifts.  What's the
difference?"  I said, "They only want to take us to dinner.  No
one said anything about anything else.  Please, please, cousin!"

I made her favorite dinner, massaged her feet, and prepared her

"Oh, all right."  She said at last.  "They can buy us dinner, but
that's all."

I was delirious with happiness.

We spent more than an hour dressing; it was wonderful and sexy by
itself.  My cousin helped me choose my outfit, and lent me a pair
of her earrings.  I brushed her hair for her.

Sam and Steve arrived at our little apartment with a box of
chocolates and a bouquet of flowers; the large pale men seemed to
fill the small space; they made me feel small and powerless,
feminine and sexy.

They complimented us both on our appearance; I could see my
cousin beaming.  The men were quite old compared to us, but they
knew how to make girls like them.

We went to a beautiful restaurant, a place like I had never been
inside of.  Steve held the taxi door open while we girls climbed
in; Sam held my chair as I sat down.  I knew it was just a
fantasy, but it was so wonderful to feel appreciated for the
first time in my life.

Of course my cousin was more used to being treated this way; it
was normal for her to be taken to dinner, have flowers bought for
her, have men beg her for her favors.  Of course, she had the
anatomy required to give them what they wanted in return.

I ate daintily, as my cousin had taught me.  Steve put his big
strong hand on my thigh under the table.

They told us how they were going to be working in London for a
few years, and were looking at rental apartments.

After dinner, the men took us to a dance club.  Sue danced
wonderfully, her balance perfect despite her high heels.  Her
long thick hair gleamed in the spotlights.  First Sam danced with
her, then Steve.  I could see she was really enjoying herself.

I was too timid to dance; I sat on my chair and tried to look

Both my cousin and I were wearing very light little dresses; I
was getting a lot of attention.  A man came up to me at the
moment when all of my companions were on the dance floor.  He was
a bit drunk, and wouldn't accept the fact that I was with
someone.  He sat down in Steve's chair, and put his hand on my
thigh.  I told him to stop, but he moved closer; I was afraid, I
didn't know what to do.

Suddenly, my big American was there.  Sam just smiled at the man,
and squeezed his shoulder a bit savagely.

"I think you really want to leave this young lady alone."  He
told the man.

The man looked at Sam's calm unworried expression, and left.

Sam laughed, "Guys like that are never to drunk to know what's
good for them."  He said.

"Let's get out of here."

The four of us walked through the dark city streets, unafraid; it
was a wonderful feeling, a feeling of invulnerability, of being
under the protection of two powerful men.  In my high heels, I
barely reached Steve's shoulder; his powerful arm was around my
hips.  I wanted to kiss him and hold him, I wanted to feel his
body against mine.  I wanted to eat his cock.

Sam flagged a taxi, and we went home.  The men came upstairs with
us; nothing was said about it, they just came up.  I was waiting
for Sue to object, but she didn't.  I was very excited about it
all; I was little worried, but with Sue there I felt more

Steve's powerful embrace lifted me right from the floor; he
scooped my ass in his hands, and lifted me like a doll; I wrapped
my thighs around his hips, threw my arms around his neck, and
kissed him deeply.  I couldn't stop myself, I had to do it.  I
had to cherish the feelings of a woman while I had the chance.

His strong arms held me, his strong hands moved across my back
and shoulders as his alien tongue explored mine.

How I longed for a vagina; how I wished to be a real woman!

He carried me to our little couch, and threw me down on it; he
kneeled on the floor, looming above me as he fondled my breasts
and we kissed.

I was wearing my "special panties".  They kept my little penis
folded back under a barrier made of hard foam rubber.  A casual
grab wouldn't be able to detect the deception; but if Steve
pulled them down, all could be revealed.  I slid off the couch
and onto the floor; I went for his belt buckle.

The anticipation was almost as pleasurable as the actual contact;
his wonderful white penis was soon in my hands.  Mine to worship,
mine to pleasure; perhaps only for a short time.

He relaxed against the couch as I went down on him; hot, hard,
smooth, potent, and wonderful.  His balls were big and hairy, so
manly.  His powerful flat stomach quivered as I sucked deeply on
his manhood.

I never wanted it to end; I wanted to suck his cock forever.
Slowly, lovingly, I sucked his big white dick.  He groaned and
stroked my head.

I could hear the creaking of the bed in the other room as Sam
pounded my willing cousin.  It made me glad.

But all things must end; I kept him hard and on the edge for a
long time, but finally he wanted to end it.  He grabbed my head
in his hands, and started to fuck my mouth.  I looked up at him
as I waited for the inevitable.

His white salty rush was as much a climax for me as for him; that
ultimate approval of a man.

I held his cock in my mouth as he slowly relaxed.  I swallowed
his come and his penis slowly deflated.

I turned as Sam's heavy footsteps came from the bedroom.  He was
naked, his penis hanging flaccid, still shiny with sexual fluids.

He stepped up to me, and I took his balls in my hand and his
penis in my mouth, cleaning it for him.

"Didn't I tell you she was one hot gook?"  He asked his friend.
"You should go in the other room and have a try with Sue."

I couldn't believe it; his old white cock was stiffening.  What a
compliment, what amazing proof of my desirability!  I sucked at
him hungrily, eager to verify the possibility; could I make this
man erect again?

He sat on the couch, and I buried my face between his thighs.  He
stroked my head and said nice things to me as I sucked him and
stroked his balls.

"You're so cute, Joon. Beautiful. I love your hair; your eyes,
too. Suck me, baby, suck me deep."

He did indeed get hard, and stayed that way for long time.

It's hard to explain why I got such pleasure from serving him; it
made me feel so wonderfully feminine, to hold his penis.  At the
same time, I so wished I could be like him, so masculine and

My penis is tiny; like a matchstick.  I think it's the hormones
I've been taking for so long now.  I suppose one really should
take medical advice on these things.

He leaned forwards, and slipped my dress down my arms, exposing
my breasts.

For the first time, a man fondled me; it filled me with desire
for him as he rolled my new nipples between his thumbs and

He put his powerful hands under my armpits, and lifted me up onto
his lap; he wrapped his arms around me, and we kissed with his
penis trapped between our bodies.

I was so deliriously happy, I was momentarily oblivious of my
peril as his hands moved down the bare flesh of my back, pushing
my skimpy dress lower and lower.

His hand stroked my barely covered ass, and still our mouths were
locked together.

Suddenly, I realized the danger; my mature lover would discover
me any second.

"Wait.  Stop."  I said suddenly, pulling away; but his powerful
arms wouldn't release me, I struggled in his grip helplessly.

"You've been real nice to me, and it's time for me to return the
favor."  He said, pulling my inadequate garment over my ass and
down my thighs.

"No, please." I begged him, but he kept me pinned with one arm
around my hips as he pulled my special panties away, revealing my
pathetic little penis.  He didn't actually see it; he put his
hand between my legs, and grabbed it with my balls.

I was paralyzed with fear; I looked into my lover's eyes as they
filled first with shock and then disgust.

He threw me off of himself so violently, I landed on the other
side of the room. I broke into tears; my euphoria had turned to
utter depression in seconds. He stood and retrieved his clothes
without saying a word; we could hear the sounds of my cousin's
bed creaking in the next room again, Steve this time pleasuring
himself with Sue. How I envied her; she wasn't a fake like me, a
pervert. She was all female, pure and fertile. She could be
someone's wife one day, even bear children. All I could hope for
was the occasional stolen mouthful of sperm, followed by

I just cried as Sam left. I cried and cried, until Steve finished
and came out of the little bedroom. He looked around for his
friend; he looked down at me. I made no effort to cover myself,
no attempt to hide my shame.

"Shit." Was all he said. He dressed, then gave my cousin a kiss,
and an envelope.

"What's this?" Sue asked, looking inside; then she became
suddenly angry, and she threw the envelope in his face.

"You think we are whores for sale?! You take your money and go!"
she shouted at him.

"Hey, I'm sorry." he said, looking confused.

Sue retrieved the envelope from the floor, and stuffed it into
his jacket pocket as she pushed him out the door. It was a bit
comical, since he was so huge and she so small.

She locked the door after him, and sat down on the floor beside

"There there, Joon" she said, holding me in her arms. "It's over
now, they've gone. My poor poor little cousin."

Sue took me to Paris for a week. I just couldn't believe it;
Paris! We had such fun there, I didn't want to come back. But we
did, and Sam called.

"Joon Lee, I. I'm sorry, I was a bit shocked."

"I'm sorry also, Sam. It was wrong of me to deceive you; I was
just so happy, and I didn't want it to end."

There was a pause, and I wondered why he had called.

"I've bought a small house, Joon." He said. "I need someone to
cook and clean for me. Would you like the job?"

It upsets me a little when he sucks my silly little penis;
because men shouldn't do that. But it does feel nice. I love to
dress up for him, and he shows me off to his friends [of course
they don't know my secret].

I cook him lovely meals, clean his house and wash his clothes,
and I love every minute I serve him.

I suck his cock until he begs me to let him come; eating his
sperm is a privilege he often allows me. He fucks me in the ass,
which hurts and brings me great joy; because I am his lover; I am
his girl.

 Bigby, 2002


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