Harvest of Expectations

© Copyright 2013

By Autumn Writer

Chapter 11 — The Happy Times

May 1974

It was Friday and it had been almost a week since Hildy returned to Rochester for her Aunt Mildred’s birthday..  Jim had just finished his last final exam and returned to his apartment.  The days of Rich being his room mate were waning and Jim was thinking that the two of them might make a final tour of the bars that they had frequented throughout their academic careers.

As he fixed himself a sandwich Jim was remembering the prior Sunday taking Ashley back to her apartment as the purple Duster made tracks in the opposite direction.  As the Rustmobile meandered through the College Town streets on its way to Ashley’s apartment he had expected a ‘thank you’ or some kind of acknowledgment.  He wondered if Ashley might have been angry.  Maybe she had been hoping to be gang raped and masturbated upon while in a drunken stupor, in which case she should have told him to butt out. 

As they were waiting at a red light he remembered what Hildy had said to him as they were watching over Ashley the night before:

“I know what that feels like, to be looked at and laughed at and shamed.  To be the subject in everyone’s joke, for everyone to be talking about you in the worst way.  It’s worse than humiliating.  It makes you feel like you’re nothing.”

So, as Ashley said nothing Jim decided to say nothing, also.  Jim saw Rich’s car parked in front of a building and he knew that he had found Ashley’s apartment and that Rich and Chelsea were still there. 

He stopped and Ashley opened her door and climbed out.  She was clutching the brown, paper grocery store bag with her underwear and shoes.  Jim watched her stumble and as she did one of the straps on her gown broke and her boobs fell out of the gown. 

She pulled the fabric up over them and made her way at last to the front door.  Jim felt a little guilty as he thought about the argument at dinner the night before and the irony of it all, but he didn’t laugh.

She knocked and in a few minutes Chelsea came to the door in a bathrobe.  Ashley followed Chelsea inside and Jim drove away.

As his thoughts drifted back to the present he wondered what Ashley had said to Rich and Chelsea about everything that happened.  As Rich later told Jim, Ashley didn’t say much.  Jim accepted that because he knew that she hadn’t remembered very much.

“Maybe, someday it will start coming back to her in bits and pieces.  Maybe—but I hope not.”

As Jim was chewing his sandwich and thinking about all these things the phone rang.  He thought it might be Rich calling but it was Professor Stark’s secretary. 

“Nothing special,” she said, “just come as you are as soon as you can.”

He asked her the purpose, but she just said that she only knew that the Professor wanted to see him. 

“Maybe it’s a last pitch for the Master’s Program.  At this point I might take him up on it.”

He looked at himself in the mirror and decided if the secretary had been able to see him as she spoke she might have omitted the ‘as you are’ part.

“I’ll make myself look like I should have looked when she said ‘as you are’.”

He went into the bathroom to shave and comb his hair.  He found a clean sport shirt on a hanger in his closet and a pair of khakis.  He traded his sneakers for a pair of loafers. 

************* 

Jim walked into the ante room of Professor Stark’s office where his secretary had her desk.  The Professor’s office door was closed.

“They’re waiting for you inside,” she said.  “Go right in.”

“They?”

He walked past the secretary’s desk, declining to ask her who else was in the inner office.  He knocked on the door and opened it.

“Come in, Jim,” the Professor said as he sat at his meeting table.  “Come right in.”

Jim looked around.  Professor Stark was seated at the head of the table.  To his right was an empty chair that Jim assumed was reserved for him.  In the two chairs on the Professor’s left were the two men whom from Douglas Chemical whom he met in his interview over a month before. 

Jim walked further into to the office and the three men stood up.

“You remember Gerry Tyler and Frank Cutler from Douglas Chemical?” Professor Stark asked.

“Of course,” Jim replied.  “Nice to see you again, Mr. Tyler—Mr. Cutler.  Always good to see you Professor Stark.”

He shook hands with the three men.  They saw the elastic bandage on his right wrist.

“What do we have here?” Mr. Tyler asked.

“I strained it at a track meet the other day,” Jim said.

“Jim is a pole vaulter on the University Track Team,” Professor Stark explained.

“I’d forgotten about that,” Cutler said.

“Interesting,” Mr. Tyler said, “how does a person find time for athletics in addition to designing Bromine Plants and all the other work a Chem E. student has to do?”

“Jim is at the top of this year’s class,” Professor stark interjected.

“I found that it’s not that hard,” Jim answered, “especially with track because I can schedule most of my workouts in the early morning.  It’s just necessary to plan ahead for what needs to be done and budget time for everything.”

“Budgeting time,” Mr. Tyler said.  “It’s a good lead-in to what we need to discuss today.  So, let’s have a seat and get down to business.”

Each man took his chair at the conference table.  Mr. Cutler took a manila folder out of his briefcase but did not open it.  Mr. Tyler led the discussion.

“I think I told you last time that I liked your Bromine Project,” he said.  “George said that it’s the best project of the year.  Of course you earned an “A” on it.”

“I didn’t know that, sir,” Jim replied.  “I would say that when I turned it in I believed it was my best effort.  Of course Professor Stark helped me a lot.”

“Don’t be so modest, young man,” Mr. Tyler said.  “I just reviewed it again before you arrived.  It’s an excellent piece of work by any standard.”

When Mr. Tyler called Jim ‘young man’ it made him remember the incident in MacIver’s Bar when Hildy’s father had called him ‘young fella’.  Then, the appellation had served to buttress his resentment.  But Mr. Tyler gave him the opposite feeling.

“I guess it depends who is doing the talking,” Jim thought.  “One man I respect and the other I am unable to respect.  Words mean little, but the person behind the words means everything.” 

Jim realized he was daydreaming while something important was going on.  He snapped back to attention.

“Like I said, a top-quality job by any standard.”

The older man paused for a second and then began to speak again.

“We’d like to make you an offer.  You would be a fine addition to Douglas.  Of course, you would do well, too,” he said.  “Are you still interested?”

“I believe so, sir,” Jim said.  “Of course, it depends on the details.  I have a chance to stay at Campbell another year for my Masters and…”

“That’s why we think you’ll be interested in this offer,” Cutler broke in.

“Here it is, Jim,” Mr. Tyler said.  “It’s different than our standard job offer.  It’s something that we’re trying out for the first time.  It’s the reason we took so long in getting back to you.  So let me lay it out for you.”

“I’m ready,” Jim said.

Mr. Tyler took a deep breath and began.

“Our company is planning a major expansion,” Mr. Tyler began “but, not this year.  In two or three years we’ll need a lot of engineering talent—the best we can get—well on the road to their Masters and PE licenses.  You’ll be a big part of it, but we want to put you on hold for a year.”

“I appreciate it sir, but…” Jim began.

“Listen to the rest, Jim,” Professor Stark interjected.

“Of course, at some time in the future we would want you to have a Master’s Degree,” Mr. Tyler went on.  “Our thought is to have you stay here at Campbell next year and do your Master’s right away.  After that we’ll bring you out to Douglas and put you to work.  What do you think?”    

“I hadn’t expected anything like this,” Jim said.  “I need to think…”

“There’s more,” Cutler broke in.  “Listen to the rest of it.”

“Douglas would be willing to pay your tuition and furnish you an adequate stipend for your living expenses.  It wouldn’t be at your regular salary, of course.  We would ask you to concentrate your major in Plant Design.  Do you have an idea of what your design thesis might be?”

“I just turned in my final project,” Jim said, “I haven’t thought new projects yet.”

“We’d like you to do something on an upgrade to the isocyanate production process.  We’re projecting a major move forward on polyurethane products and we have to improve our isocyanate process to improve our source of that starter compound.”

“I think that would be a project with some meat on the bones,” Jim said.

“We’re contracting with George as a consultant on the overall project.  You will be working with him as a Research Assistant in addition to your course work and thesis.  You will also be asked to TA a course because Douglas and the College of Engineering are sharing the cost of your tuition.”

“Which course?” Jim asked.

“Hasn’t been decided yet, for sure,” Professor Stark said.

“On top of all that, we want you to take and pass Part A of the PE exam.  Also, we’re asking that you sign the rights to your Bromine plant design to us,” Mr. Tyler said.

“You’re going to use my design?”

“Maybe, and it also allows us to classify some of what we’re paying you as the purchase price of the sale of your design rights to us, rather than as salary to an employee.  You have to remember that this is a new concept of recruiting that we’re trying and a lot of people had to review it, so there are a lot of fingerprints on the details.”

Mr. Tyler nodded at Cutler who opened the manila folder in front of him.

“Here are the numbers,” he said.  “If you work for Douglas for five years you won’t be asked to repay your tuition.  If you leave before then, we would ask for a proportional repayment.  It’s all explained in the contract I brought.”

Mr. Cutler pointed out the applicable clauses.  Jim looked at the salary and stipend numbers and they were better than good.

“We’ll bring you out to Douglas from mid-June through mid-August for an orientation,” Mr. Tyler explained.  “Then you’ll be back here to start school.  What do you say?”

“You’ll have an expense account when you’re traveling in addition to your regular payment,” Cutler added.

Jim looked at the men and then at the contract in front of him.

“I hate to ask for too much,” Jim said.

“All we can do is say ‘no’,” Cutler said.

“The fact is, sir,” Jim began, “is that I’m just about out of money.  My car would never make it out to Michigan.  Any chance of an advance on my stipend?”

Cutler and Tyler looked at one another. 

“Rent a car one-way to get yourself out to Michigan,” Cutler said.  “The sales force turns in their company cars every three years.  We’ll arrange to let you buy one of those at a bargain.  You can pay it off after you’ve gone on full salary.  We’ll send you a company credit card so that you’ll have some money to travel on.”

Jim looked at the pile of papers staring back at him from the manila folder.  In a way, they reminded him of Hildy and his problem and how he had always been sure that the right moment would come along.  It was a happy moment for him.  At the same time, there was a tinge of sadness because he would be saying ‘good-bye’ to the quest.

“Is there anything else, Jim?” Mr. Tyler asked.

“I just need to borrow a pen so I can start signing,” he answered.

It took about ten minutes to go through all the various contracts and agreements before everything was official.

“Welcome aboard,” Mr. Cutler said as Jim signed the final paper. 

There were two sets of papers and Professor Stark asked his secretary for an envelope for Jim to use to retain one copy.

“Mr. Connolly will be with us for one more year, Irene,” the professor told his secretary.

“Very good,” the woman said and smiled at Jim and gave him a nod.

Jim felt good.  He sensed change.  Forty-five minutes before that moment he had been a person of ‘someday’.  With his signature he’d taken a step forward to being a person of ‘now’ and an object of others’ expectations. 

It was what he’d always wanted and it had come to rest on his shoulders like an eagle returning to its nest.  He felt that he should be overwhelmed by it all, but the feeling of trepidation just wasn’t there for him to clutch to his chest like a protective blanket.

“I should be shaking like a leaf,” he thought.  “Maybe it’s Hildy’s voice calming me down.”

“Congratulations,” Mr. Tyler said as he rose. 

The other three men rose from their chairs, too.     

“Thank you, sir,” Jim said as Mr. Tyler grasped his hand.  “I would never have hoped for something like this.  You won’t be sorry that you offered it to me.”

He shook hands all around and took his leave.  He made a mental note to visit Professor Stark the next day and thank him.

He left the building and walked to the old Rustmobile that would soon be retired.   The old car had seen him through many good and bad days.  He knew that he would have to leave the old car behind, just like many other boyhood trappings. 

He knew it was the beginning of happy times.  He started the car and started off for his apartment.  He would call his parents right away with the news.  Hildy wouldn’t be home until later.  He planned to call her then.

************************ 

Jim decided that since his exams were finished a visit would be better than a phone call to relay his news.  He sat at the kitchen table waiting for Rich to return.  He was too excited to eat.  He popped open a beer and put on a record to listen to while he waited.  He got out a pad of paper and started to jot down some figures. 

He decided that the stipend from Douglas Chemical would be enough to allow him to re-rent the apartment for another year, but without a room mate.  He decided to finish his beer and then go upstairs to see if the landlord was available.  He didn’t think that the apartment had been rented yet.  It was a great apartment and it would be even better if (no offense to Rich) Hildy could spend a few weekends with him in it.

His beer can was sweating on the table in front of him.  He started thinking about all the cans had passed between the refrigerator, him and Rich in the two years that they had lived in the apartment.

“Time for a change,” he thought.

He jumped out of his chair and got a large water glass out of the cupboard.  He poured in the beer and watched the foamy head rise almost to the top of the glass. 

“That’s the first beer I’ve had in this apartment with a head on it.”

It was still beer, the same brand that he always drank with something new.  He still had a foot in the old and one in the new.  The analogy seemed to make sense to him for a minute, but then he realized that he was reaching for wisdom where there was none.

“I’m too wound up.  I need to relax.”

He sat back in his chair and listened to the album that was playing.  He was playing one of his favorites, Jim Croce’s “You Don’t Mess Around with Jim”.  The album was nearly over.  It started playing the last song.

Hey tomorrow, where are you going;

Do you have some room for me?

‘Cause night is fallin’ and dawn is callin’,

I’ll have a new day if she’ll have me.

It was his favorite song on the album and the last one on Side 2.  He sat back and listened to the words and let the beer quench his thirst.

As the song played he thought about Hildy and how it would be different and better when he told her about his prospects this time.  He would make sure of that.  First he would see his parents and spend some time with them.  He decided to reserve Sunday for Hildy and maybe a picnic in that same park would be a good idea if the weather stayed warm. 

“So what do you say to some bar hopping?”

It was Rich.  Jim hadn’t even heard him come in. 

“That’s what I’ve been waiting for,” Jim answered.  “Let’s get some dinner first.”

“I’m ready when you are.  We can take my car.”

***************** 

 The next day was Saturday and Jim wasn’t out of the sack as early as usual.  He and Rich had visited some of the places they had called home over the past five years and the headache he was coping with was worth it.  Jim was grateful that they had managed to do it without making fools of themselves.  They spent most of the time reminiscing at the bar near the shotgun factory.

Rich was stirring, too.  Jim began getting dressed after he got the coffee started. 

“We’ll need an extra scoop of grounds in this pot.”

The smell of the percolating coffee was filtering into the bedroom as he finished getting dressed.  He stumbled into the bathroom to clean up.

“It’s a good thing I stuck to beer.”

He was looking around the kitchen for something to eat.  He was sure that some breakfast would make him feel better, if he could only summon the courage to close his eyes and swallow it.

“Got the blood transfusion ready?”

It was Rich who had shuffled into the kitchen.

“I’ll take mine intravenous,” he said.  “Get the tubing and hook me up.”

“C’mon, Rich,” Jim relied, “don’t be a wimp.  If you want to dance, you’ve got to pay the fiddler.”

“I know, I know.  I said that just so you could hear me say it to you one last time.”

“I guess that it’s true love, then,” Jim said.  “This doesn’t mean that we’re engaged, does it?”

“Give me a ring and I’ll let you know.”

Jim had a bowl of cereal and milk on the table in front of him.  It looked like it was staring back.

“Down the hatch!”

He shoveled in a spoonful and decided that he would probably live, after all. 

“Speaking of being engaged, how do you think Hildy will react to your job offer?”

“I’m expecting that she’ll react pretty well.  She’ll like it because I’ll be staying here for another year and that will give us time to sort things out.  And, by the way, we’re not engaged.”

“That’s what they all say,” Rich said and then slurped down some coffee.

“I like it, too.  I’ll have a decent car and some extra money so I can take her to a few more places than a diner and the movies.”

“And you can help each other get rid of your problems,” Rich said.

“That, too.”

“Do me a favor and send me a postcard when you finally do the deed,” Rich said.

“How about a photo of the Japanese battle flag?”

“I was going to mention it,” Rich said, “but I thought it might be asking too much.”

Jim finished his coffee and cereal and set the dishes in the sink.  Rich was still working on his.

“I’m going to take a trip to Rochester and give my parents the news and then I’ll take Hildy to lunch on Sunday and tell her.  I’ll be back on Sunday night.”

“That’s okay,” Rich said.  “I’m going to start packing today and take Chelsea out tonight.  You can get going if you want to.  I’ll clean the dishes.”

***************************** 

It was nearly three in the afternoon when Jim arrived at his parents’ home.  He gave Hildy a call and they made a date for a picnic lunch the next day.  He waited to tell his parents about his new job until dinner.

“So, you will get your Masters, after all,” his mother said after he’d laid out the details for them.

“That’s right, Ma.  It’s better than any offer that I could have hoped for.  They told me that it’s a new program that Douglas is trying out.  So, I really have to come through or they’ll wish that’s have given it to someone else—or cancel it altogether.”

“It’s obvious they recognized all your good qualities,” his mother pronounced.

Jim shook his had and laughed a little.

“I would be willing to bet that Professor Stark setting me up with the Douglas people counted a whole lot more than my good looks,” Jim said.

His mother threw up her hands.

“That’s one fault you’ve still got, Jim.  You’re far too modest.”

“No, really Ma…”

But his mother wasn’t listening.  She’d gotten up from the table to serve dessert.

“I’ll be pretty busy next year,” Jim said.  “I’ve already got my thesis assignment—and it’s not easy.  I have courses on top of that and they want me to be a Teaching Assistant for an undergrad course, as well.  I’m also going to be a Research Assistant for Professor Stark and I have to prep for the first part of the Professional Engineer’s exam.”

“Jim, can you handle all that?” his father asked.

“I’ll have to, Dad.  It’s what Douglas is expecting of me.  I think they’re trying to see if I’ve got the stuff to handle it.  Anyway, the research with Professor Stark ties in to my thesis, so that will help.”

His father let out a breath and shook his head.

“Well, you won’t have to worry about the track team.  That will save you some time.”

“And I’ll have some money and a new car, so that will take away a few worries.  It won’t be easy, but I’ll do it.”

Jim’s mother set a cake on the table and began slicing wedges from it and putting it on little plates.

“It’s almost unbelievable,” his father said.  “You worked hard for five years to get this. You deserve it Jim.”

Jim shook his head.

“Not really, Dad.  There are a lot of guys that could have deserved it just as much.  I was lucky.  I had some special people behind me.  My whole education was like a gift-wrapped present set on a table in front of me.  All I had to do was untie the bow and be careful of what was inside.  Now it’s up to me to do what I have to.”

“Now, Jim,” his father said, “you don’t…”

“I wouldn’t have said it, Dad, if I didn’t believe it.”

Jim’s father looked stunned, which was something that Jim hadn’t seen many times.

“I—I just remembered—there’s something I have to check on out in the garage,” his father said.

Jim’s father rose from his chair and made his way to the door that led outdoors.

“It meant a lot to your father to hear you say that,” Jim’s mother said, “and to me, too, of course.  But Jim, don’t be afraid to take some credit for yourself.  You deserve it.  Your father and I and even Professor Stark are just the supporting cast.  You’re the star of the show at this moment.”

“I meant what I said, Ma.”

“I know you did, Jim, and I think that makes me even more proud than your big news tonight.  But you should think about what I said.  There’s plenty of credit to go around for all of us, so go ahead and take a helping of it.”

“Okay, Ma, I’ll remember.”

His mother paused for a second and Jim knew she had something else on her mind.

“Are you going to tell Hildy the news tomorrow?” she asked.

“Of course, Ma.”

“She’ll be so happy, Jim.”

“She might not be happy when she finds out how much attention I’ll have to pay to my work and how little time I’ll have to pay attention to her.”

“She’ll understand—I know she will.  She’ll be happy because you will have a whole year to work things out.  When will we get to meet her?”

Jim knew that he should have expected to be grilled by his mother on the ‘Hildy question’, but it took him by surprise.

“Maybe I should go see what Dad’s doing,’ Jim said.

“I’m right here,” his father said, standing in the doorway.  “So, when are we going to meet this young lady?”

“Maybe sooner than you think.  I was going to tell you later.”

He took two tickets out of his wallet and placed them near his father’s place at the table.

“Here are your tickets to the track meet next Saturday,” Jim said.

“Okay, but what’s that got to do…”

“I also bought three tickets for Hildy and her parents,” Jim explained.  “I wanted Hildy to have the chance to see me compete once before I hang ‘em up and I thought it might be a good way to patch things up with her father—sort of two birds with one stone”

“So, we’re going to sit with them?” his mother asked.

“Not necessarily, it’s open seating in the stadium and I won’t have a chance to see anyone before the meet starts.  If it’s okay, I thought we could have dinner afterward.”

Jim’s mother and father looked at one another.

“Do you mind?” Jim asked.  “We can skip it if you want to.  I just didn’t know how else to arrange it—and it’s not what you’re thinking.  It’s just a way to sort out the logistics because I’ll have two sets of guests.”

“I guess so,’ his father said.  “How’s your wrist?”

“I think it will be okay.  If it’s not, I’ll just have to scratch from the meet.  It would have to be pretty bad for me to do that.”

*********************** 

Jim was waiting in the parking lot of the park near her home where they had their rained-out picnic not many weeks before.  He was surprised that she was late, the park being only about a mile from her parents’ home. 

He turned on the radio and the station was playing a song called “Waterloo” by a new group called ABBA.  He was having a hard time understanding the words.

“A group from Sweden singing in English about a battle in Belgium.  I don’t get it.  This group will never go very far.”

He turned off the radio and saw Hildy’s car just coming into the parking lot in his rear view mirror.  She parked her car next to his and hopped out holding a picnic basket and a bag from the grocery store.

“Sorry I’m late.  I had to go to the store to buy something to drink.  It was hard to find a grocery store open on Sunday.”

Jim walked over to her and took the grocery bag from her.

“I’m glad to see you, Hildy.”

She blushed and then kissed him.  . 

“Let’s find a picnic table and sit down,” he said.

It was a warm, pleasant Sunday in late May.  There were a few families using some of the tables in the park.  There was one that was a little bit separated from the rest.  Hildy headed for that one and Jim followed her.  She spread out a table cloth and took some sandwiches and some other things from her basket.  There was a quart of lemonade and a bag of chips in the grocery bag.  Hildy arranged it all on the cloth and they sat down at the table.

“I was surprised when you called me.  I made these this morning so we wouldn’t have to buy something at a restaurant.  That’s why I told you to meet me here,” Hildy gushed.

“It’s all real nice, Hildy,” Jim said. 

“There’s a hiking trail over there,” Hildy said.  “I thought that after we eat we could go for a walk.”

“A long walk or a short one?” Jim asked.

Hildy’s eyes became brighter.

“Maybe a short walk for a long time,” she answered back.

“We could skip lunch and just do the walk.”

“Not a chance,” Hildy answered.  “What you see here is my culinary ability at its highest power, so you had better enjoy it.”

“Even the lemonade?”

“Well, I picked it out.  It could have been the pink kind, but I thought natural was best,” Hildy said.

“Hildy, I asked you to see me today because I have something to tell you.  I got a job offer from Douglas Chemical and I accepted it.”

Hildy stopped eating and set down her sandwich; her jaw dropped open.

“Finally!  When did you find out?”

“On Friday afternoon,” Jim told her.  “They showed up in Professor Stark’s office with papers and I signed them.  It’s a good offer.”

“I’m glad for you, Jim,” Hildy said.  “It’s everything you’ve been working for.  When do you start?

“June 10, but I’ll have to be out there the week before that.  I’ll have to take a physical and a few other things.  Then…”

“Out where?” Hildy asked.

“Central City, Michigan.  That’s where Douglas is headquartered.  Then I’ve got to…”

“I see,” Hildy said, “we don’t have much time…”

“No, Hildy, I haven’t finished.  This isn’t the usual type of job offer.  I’m just going to be in Michigan for June, July and half of August.  It’s a kind of orientation.  Then the company wants me to come back to Campbell for a year to do my Masters.  I’ll be back August 19.”

“I’ve never heard of anything like this,” Hildy said.

“I never had, either.  It’s beyond anything I ever dared to expect.  If I work for them for five years, they won’t even ask me to repay my tuition for the Masters Program.  While I’m in school they’ll pay me a living allowance.  They’re even going to arrange for me to get a new car.  So, you can take a last look at the Rustmobile.”

Hildy drank down a few swallows of her of lemonade.

“This is unbelievable.  We’ll have a whole year to be together.”

“That’s right, and then…”

“My offer still stands,” she said.      

“We discussed that already, Hildy.  But I thought that we could use this year to sort things out.  And then a year from now if things are the same between us we could…”

“Yes!” Hildy squealed.  “We’ll do it.  They won’t be the same.  They’ll be even better.”

Jim finished his sandwich and took a gulp of lemonade.

“Anyway, Hildy, that’s the news and that’s what I was thinking.  I thought you’d like to know.”

“Like to know?  You must be kidding.  I’m ready to burst.”

“But listen, next year won’t be a cakewalk for us.  I’ll have an even bigger workload than this year.”

“You can do it,” Hildy said.  “You can do anything you set your mind to do.”

“For sure, I’m going to do it,” Jim replied, “but there might be times when I don’t have the time for you that I’d like to have.”

“Just let me know if I get in the way and I’ll buzz off,” she said “as long as I can buzz right back on again later.”

Hildy was laughing and Jim knew it was no use to make her think of sobering thoughts.

“I didn’t forget your birthday,” Jim said.

“It’s not for another month.”

“I’ll be in Michigan then, and besides this present is time sensitive.”

He reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a small envelope and then handed it to her.  Hildy tore the envelope open.

“They’re tickets to the Conference Championships next Saturday,” Jim explained.  “I wanted you to have a chance to witness me make a fool of myself in public for the last time.”

“No one would ever call you a fool, Jim.  It’s a nice gift.  Why three tickets?”

“I thought you could bring your father and mother.  Maybe they would enjoy it.  I know it’s only a track meet.  I thought it would be a way for your father and me to bury the hatchet.  Maybe we got off to the wrong start.  I’m hoping this might turn things around.”

Hildy’s eyes were glistening with tears. 

“It’s one of the nicest presents I ever got,” she said

“It was that or a hat, scarf and glove set—but I got you that already, so the tickets will have to do.”

Hildy was smiling as she dried her eyes.  Her smile made him wonder if the tickets were more a present for him than for her, but he knew that she liked it.

“There’s a catch I have to tell you,” Jim said.  “My parents are coming down, too, and I have to spend some time with them.  I’ll have two sets of guests and I don’t want to give either the short end.  So, I thought we could all have dinner somewhere after the meet.”

“I’ve never met your parents.”

“I know it’s going to be awkward at first.  But it will be fine. I think some good will come of it.”

“I’ll have to tell my parents about the dinner ahead of time.  It wouldn’t be fair to surprise them with something like that.”

“Of course,” Jim said.

“Let’s clean up and go on that walk,” Hildy said

They packed the gear in the picnic basket and threw the papers in a trash can that was nearby then stowed the basket in Hildy’s car. 

Hildy pointed to where the trail started and wove her arm around Jim’s.  As they walked along he could feel her pressing her body against his.  It was a nice feeling and it made him remember that he hadn’t thought about his problem in a while.

She pressed against him even closer.  They nearly stumbled.

“Hildy,” he laughed as he reminded her, “don’t forget there are children in this park right now.”

********************* 

Jim was back in his apartment.  It was about ten in the evening.  Rich was with Chelsea—it was her last evening on campus before summer break.  He had been thinking about the picnic with Hildy and had been doing some reading and listening to music.  All around him were boxes in which Rich had begun to pack up his things.  Even the frat lodge was deserted until next fall.

He sat at the kitchen table, got out some paper and started making some sketches, brainstorming a thesis on improving the Isocyanate Production Process.  He was writing questions in the margin.  He decided that in the morning he would get up early, go to the campus, do his workout and then get some treatment for his wrist. After that, he would go to the Engineering Library and find some information that would give him a better start.  

“Maybe I should understand what I’m improving before I start to improve it.”

He started thinking about Hildy again and how happy she’d been when he gave her the tickets.

“I hope I wasn’t reaching too far when I got the tickets for her parents.”

He decided that it was something of an overreach but it was done and it was the thought that counted, anyway.  Besides, he was riding a winning streak.  So, why not go for it?

He was thinking about that, and about getting some early shut-eye when the phone rang.

Hildy:   “Jim, it’s Hildy.”

Jim       “Hi, Hildy, I was just thinking about you.  What’s up?”

Hildy:   “It’s my father, Jim.  He refuses to go to the track meet on Saturday.  At first, he said he would go, but then he changed his mind. 

Jim:      Is it because he doesn’t like Track and Field?  I understand that but it’s the only…”

Hildy:   “No, that’s not it.  I told him you got the tickets as a kind of peace offering.  I knew right away that he didn’t like it, but then my mother talked to him and he agreed.  Then I think it grated on him and he told me he wouldn’t go.

Jim:      “Maybe it’s because of my parents…”

Hildy:   “It never got that far.  I never had a chance to tell him.  Anyway, I know my mother won’t go without him.  He told me he doesn’t want me to go, either.”

Jim:      Well, Hildy, it’s your choice and…”

Hildy:   “But I am going, just the same.  I’ll drive myself, or maybe I’ll take Darlene.”

Jim:      You can come with my parents.  I’ll call them tomorrow and they’ll pick you up at your parents’ house.  I’ll give them directions.  I’ll call you at Darlene’s tomorrow and give you the details.

Hildy:   “I can’t ask…”

Jim:      “Don’t worry.  It’s on their way, anyway.  My mother will enjoy spending the day with you.  She’ll enjoy that more than the track meet.”

**************** 

Campbell belonged to the Mid-Atlantic Athletic Conference, which included such schools as Campbell, Lehigh, Lafayette, Colgate and some others.  It so happened that it was Campbell’s turn in the rotation to host the conference Track and Field Championships in 1974.  Win or lose, Jim knew it was going to be the final track meet of his athletic career.

He had been a standout athlete in high school, but at the higher level he had never quite made it to the high echelons of his sport.  He and George Murray, a friend and another athlete on the team, competed throughout the season for the number two and three spots among the Campbell vaulters.  Once in a while Jim would pick up a second or third place.  Campbell had another vaulter who was favored to win the Conference Championship.   

Jim was standing in the Pole Vault area watching his competitors continuing their warm ups.  He did some stretching but was afraid of putting too much pressure on his injured wrist.  He still had at least ten minutes before his next turn.  George Murray came up to him. 

“Sorry about your third miss, George,” Jim said.

“Off day,” George replied. 

“You’ve got next year to make up for it.”

“That was a big risk you took, passing the bar to sixteen-ten,” George said.

“My wrist won’t give me very many attempts,” Jim replied.  “The next one may be my last.”

“That will be at seventeen-two.”

“That’s equal to my all-time best,” Jim said.  “I don’t dare pass that.”

Jim looked at the scoring chart.  Most of the vaulters were either out or missing at seventeen-two.  Third place was boiling down to Jim and a senior from Lehigh.

“I’ve got a good chance if I can clear seventeen-two,” Jim said to George.  “If we both miss, I’ll lose because the guy from Lehigh has only one miss at sixteen-six and I have two.”

“Campbell number thirty-nine,” the judge called out.

“You’re up,” George said and slapped Jim on the back.  “Give ‘em hell.”

Jim picked up his pole and stepped to the line.  He thought of looking up to the stands to see if his parents and Hildy were watching.

“That cost me a miss at sixteen-six,” he reminded himself.  “I was more worried about what was going on in the stands than my pole position.”

So, Jim kept his mind on his job.  He picked up his pole and stood at the line.  His wrist ached and there was something else that began after his last vault that he hadn’t felt before—a sort of tingling feeling extending from the base of the hand to the elbow.

“Just give them a minute to re-arrange the landing cushions,” the judge said.

“Just swing that foot up extra-hard after you launch.”

He was hoping that the extra lower body action would make up for the arm strength he was losing on account of his injury.

“Ready?” the judge asked.

Jim nodded.

“This could be my last one ever.”

The pit judge held up a green flag.  Jim gripped his pole and began the approach run.  He started slow at first, pole pointed forward at forty-five degrees, then accelerated down the approach, counting his strides.

“One—two—three…”

On the tenth stride he began to lower the pole and by the twentieth stride he had it planted in the box and had launched himself off the ground.  He knew it was a good plant.  He swung his trail leg up.  It all felt like it was supposed to. 

Jim pulled down with his arms to swing his body up and get the maximum bend from the pole.  There was a sudden and severe stab of pain in his wrist.  It felt like it was tearing.

“Just get me through this one, last vault.”

He ignored the pain in his wrist and pulled down harder.   The next thing he knew he was floating backwards toward the landing cushions, looking at the bar still resting on the standards.  He lay in the pit for a moment looking up at the bar.  He had done it—his best vault ever and probably his last.

“I should have passed to seventeen-six.  I would have cleared it.” 

There was much pain in his wrist but he forced himself not to grasp it with his other hand, wince or cry out.  As he returned to the start line George came up to meet him.  He took the pole from Jim’s good hand.

“Pretty good vault,” he said.  “You ruined your wrist on that one didn’t you?”

“I’m afraid that I did,” Jim answered.  “I’m trying not to show it.”

“I can tell by the way you’re carrying your pole,” George explained.  “Besides, you let out a pretty good yelp on your pull-down.”

“I didn’t realize that.  I was trying not to.  Anyway, there’s no way I can jump again.  But I’m not going to scratch myself until the Lehigh guy clears the height.  I don’t want him to know that he can get third on his next vault.  Let him work for it.”

“A lot of things can happen,” George agreed.

George was correct.  If the Lehigh man cleared the height on his first try, as Jim had, he would take third place because Jim would be unable to go to the next height.  Even if he failed at the higher level, the determination would be on the basis of fewest misses and Jim had two and the Lehigh vaulter only one. 

“What do you think are your chances?” George asked.

“Tough to say,” Jim said.  “I don’t know this guy from Lehigh very well.  We’ll find our soon enough.”

The Lehigh vaulter stood at the start line with his hands coated with rosin.  He began his approach.  He planted his pole in the pit and Jim had his eye on the bar as the vaulter went into the air.  It appeared that his foot nicked the bar as he went over.  Jim expected the bar to fall, but it did not.  The pit judge waited five seconds and then held up the green flag.  It was a good vault and Jim had lost.

“We’ll go on to seventeen-six,” the judge said.

Jim walked over to him.

“Sir, I have to scratch.  I injured my wrist on my last vault.”

The judge scanned his scoring chart.

“Are you sure you don’t want to try?” he asked.

“I can’t even grip the pole,” Jim replied.

“I’m sorry,” the judge said.  “That means that third place, at least, is awarded to Lehigh on the basis of fewer misses.”

Jim walked over to the Lehigh vaulter.

“Congratulations,” he said.  “Good luck at seventeen-six.”

The Lehigh vaulter looked confused, at first, but then he must have noticed Jim’s right arm hugged to his body and his left hand extended to shake hands.

“Injure yourself on your last try?” he asked.

Jim nodded.

“Sorry,” Jim’s opponent said.  “Good vault on that last one, though.”

“I’ll help you with your pole,” George said, and the two walked off the field together.

As they did Jim looked around the field, knowing it would be his final moments as a competitor.  He looked up in the stands and saw Hildy and his parents watching him.  He gave them a wave and they waved back.  He and George went to where the Equipment Manager was waiting and they helped him stow their poles.

“Tough break,” George said.  “I think you would have taken it—at least a third and maybe a second if you had cleared seventeen-six.  Your last vault would have cleared it if the bar had been at that height.”

“It’s okay,” Jim said.  “I know I gave it everything I had.  I didn’t leave anything behind.  I didn’t get what I’d hoped, but I’m satisfied.”

It occurred to Jim that the track letter that had been his goal at the beginning of the year had eluded him.  He accepted it and was surprised that he didn’t feel as bad as he thought, despite coming so close.

“You know George,” Jim said as the two walked through the stadium portal leading to the locker room, “I just learned that you can’t feel bad if you don’t leave anything behind.”

*************** 

Jim sat with Hildy and his parents at a table in the back of the dining room in Joe’s Restaurant.  It was an Italian place on the edge of town.  There were more elegant places to dine, to be sure, but Jim thought that Joe’s was perfect.  The food was good and it was a quiet place where they could relax and talk.  They had just finished commiserating with Jim about his injury and loss of placing in his event. 

Jim’s right wrist was wrapped in an elastic bandage.  The team trainer gave him an ice treatment and wrapped it for him, so he had kept the others waiting longer than he thought that he would.

“If the inflammation doesn’t start going down in a week or so, you’ll have to have x-rays,” he had told Jim.  “Keep the bandage on for two weeks.”

Jim and his father were having the breaded veal and eggplant with the heavy sauce.  Jim’s mother ordered linguini with white clam sauce. 

“I don’t know much about Italian food,” Hildy admitted.

“Have the Shrimp Scampi with pasta on the side,” Jim’s mother said.  “That way, you can eat only as much pasta as you want so you won’t get too full.”

Jim could see that Hildy was happy.  He had wanted to spend some time talking with her, but found out right away that his mother was taking up all of Hildy’s attention.  Hildy was talking and laughing and had that carefree look that Jim never tired of seeing.  So, he decided to leave things as they were and let his mother have Hildy all to herself.

“She’ll have that carefree look a lot more often after I get back in August,” he promised himself.

“So, you’re okay with skipping graduation?” he asked his father.

“Yeah, sure,” Jim’s father said.

“Next year we’ll do it all over again and I’ll go through the ceremony then,” Jim said. 

“I’m going to go freshen up,” Hildy said.

She rose and looked around for the Ladies’ Room and then headed off in that direction.

“I was thinking the same thing,” Jim’s mother said and in a second was off in that direction, as well.

When they were gone Jim’s father turned to him.

“You’re mother really likes Hildy,” he told Jim.

“Yes, I kind of noticed,” Jim said with a laugh.

“Well, your mother can get carried away, sometimes, but she never pretends about these things.”

“What do you think, Dad?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think, Jim,” his father said.  “What you feel is what counts.”

“I think that’s pretty obvious,” Jim replied.  “I wouldn’t have her in this situation if I didn’t…”

“Yes I suppose that’s true,” his father said.  “The truth is that I do like her, Jim.  You know, I’ve been a salesman for over twenty-five years and one thing I can always spot is a phony.  That’s one thing this girl is not.  I don’t see any phoniness in her at all.”

“Thanks, Dad.  I appreciate it.”

“We met Hildy’s father when we picked her up.  He’s a real piece of work.”

“He doesn’t like me very much,” Jim said.

“I don’t think it’s you, Jim.  Guys like that have something inside eating away at them and they take it out on whoever is closest.”

“That would be Hildy,” Jim said.  “She’s taken a lot from him.  She’s had to screw up her courage to keep taking it and keep seeing me.  Her father can’t hurt me because I really don’t care what he thinks.  I’m afraid for Hildy, though.”

“Be afraid for yourself, too, because guys like that never stop.  You’re sure to hear from him again.  Don’t give Hildy a reason to lose her courage.  She’s a sweet girl and sees things in a simple way.  Her father’s antics are sure to confuse her.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.  So far, she’s doing pretty good.”

“Makes me like her even more,” his father said.  “So what plans do you two have?”

“We thought that when I come back in August we could start to sort that out,” Jim said.  “We’re hoping things go from there.”

“Sounds sensible,” his father said.  “Your mother and I were afraid…”

“No,” Jim said.  “Better this way.  For one thing, Hildy’s never seen me when I just don’t have time for anything else but work or study.  There’ll be plenty of that when I start school again and when she sees it she might not like what she sees.”

“Have you talked to her about that?”

“Sure, Dad, but talking is one thing.  Being in it is something else.”

“I think she’ll understand if you give her your best when you’re not so busy.  Anyway, I think you’re handling it the right way.  Whichever way you go, it’s up to you.  Just keep us posted.”

Hildy and Jim’s mother returned to the table and Jim and his father ended their private talk.

“Guess what?” Jim’s mother exclaimed.  “Hildy and I made a date to go shopping at the mall next week.”

“Oh brother,” Jim mumbled to himself.”

“Who saved room for dessert?” Jim’s father asked.

Jim was driving back to his apartment, and his parents and Hildy were on their way back to Rochester.

“These are happy times,” he had to admit to himself.

The happy times tasted sweet, like the strawberries that people were gathering in the sunny fields throughout that June.  It was a time of rest and enjoyment.  But, in Jim’s head a voice was whispering—reminding him that respite and sweet flavors were only a pause in expectations.

TO BE CONTINUED