Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. It must be said that Edwards gave a performance that will remain long in the memories of those who witnessed it, even if some of the supporting cast were inclined to overplay their parts the leading actor gave a nicely judged performance. The setting was Miss Hammond's art class, Miss Hammond was a young, somewhat naive schoolmistress who had recently joined the staff of St Cuthberts preparatory school for boys. She had more than a passing resemblance to an actress famed more for her beauty than her intelligence. Her soft honey coloured hair fell across her slender girlish shoulders. Her bottom enclosed in an impossibly tight fitting skirt swung like a pendulum from side to side as she walked. Most captivating of all, Miss Hammond's face was of such exquisite beauty that one felt that she must be an angel temporarily deprived of her wings, with her gentle dark eyes and perfectly pert kissable lips. Their was hardly a single boy in the school who had not fallen in love with her or who did not worship the ground she walked on. Yet despite this rarefied beauty and a charming gentle nature she had a very real weakness. She was too willing to give the boys the benefit of the doubt. Even when their was no doubt at all.. Edwards, a blond haired boy of eleven years, pretty, in an almost girlish sort of way, sat an easel at the very back of the art room. His attractive face a picture of innocence, that alone should have set alarm bells ringing. That particular Monday morning Miss Hammond noticed the boys were unusually quiet. They watched her intently as she prepared the bowl of fruit they were to paint that lesson. She thought perhaps one of the boys had eaten one of the apples and had left only the core in the bag for her to find. This had happened before but she had only laughed and said to herself, well boys will be boys after all. Miss Taylor, had previously offered to lend her a nice whippy cane as an aid to maintaining discipline. It was a kind offer she chose to decline. Why, she wasn't even sure that she approved of corporal punishment in any circumstances, besides all the boys were so sweet to her. They were always offering to carry her books and never failed to open doors and raise their caps politely as if she was a glamorous film star rather than just an ordinary young woman. She had just turned from the fruit bowl to face the boys when out of the corner of her eye she saw a boy fall slowly and gracefully, like a dying swan, to the floor. She rushed over to him, the shouts of the rest of the class shrill and urgent ringing in her ears. "Edwards has fainted Miss!" Several boys left there seats crowding round him in an interested semi circle. One boy, Norris, with bright red hair, quickly loosened his tie. Urgently she said, with a note of panic in her voice. "Kennedy, will you go and fetch Matron, quickly!" Kennedy, an obliging youth, trotted off, smirking to himself once the door had closed safely behind him. Back in the classroom, another boy, Bennet-Brown was taking Edwards pulse whilst Miss Hammond looked on, unsure quite what to do next. "I can't feel any pulse Miss! I am afraid you had best try mouth to mouth resuscitation!" He made this announcement with thrilling gravitas entirely appropriate to the drama of the occasion. The only things missing were his white coat and stethoscope. She never thought to question why Bennet Brown had decided she was best equipped to give mouth to mouth resuscitation. The onlookers held their collective breath whilst Miss Hammond wrung her small elegant hands in dismay. "Oh dear!"She said. Really she had no idea what one did when one performed mouth to mouth resuscitation. Fortunately Bennet Brown seemed remarkably knowledgeable about what one should do. She wondered if perhaps his father was a doctor as she brushed several strands of hair away from her face and leaned over the prostrate form of the boy. He seemed to have fallen like some tragic hero of popular fiction, with his friend Norris pressing a rather grimy looking handkerchief to his noble young forehead. Edwards fighting valiantly against a sudden impulse to grin, pursed his lips in anticipation of the heavenly pleasure of mouth to mouth resuscitation from Miss Hammond's attractive lips'. Suddenly the room went quiet, the excited chatter of the boys died in an instant. How very curious thought Edwards to himself. His eyelids fluttered as he risked a discreet upwards glance. Towering above him instead of the ethereal beauty of Miss Hammond, poised, ready and willing to give him the kiss of life, he saw the rather more severe features of Miss Taylor! It was surely just a temporary if somewhat disturbing hallucination. "Where am I?" He asked in a barely audible whisper. "In very deep and treacherous waters I'm afraid, Edwards", replied Miss Taylor smiling, her thin cruel smile. Her fine lips slightly twisted. "Happily I am an expert on all medical matters, including fainting fits but of course my real expertise is in curing imaginary ailments, Edwards!" "Get up now please!"She was still smiling. It was not in the least a reassuring smile. Edwards groaned feebly and showed no sign of moving. Miss Taylor was equal to the occasion. She reached down, twisted a small tuft of hair and pulled sharply. Edwards shot upwards with some alacrity. "Aaaaaarghh!"he howled. Edwards had never stood up so quickly in his entire life . Miss Taylor turned to the rest the class, the same cruel smile still hovering on her attractive lips. It was obvious she was enjoying herself greatly and no one could deny that she possessed a most wonderful sense of humour. "Nurse Norris and Doctor Bennet Brown, detention this Wednesday afternoon! If anyone else would like confess their involvement in this little charade I shall be happy to hear from them! She glanced around at the pale, innocent faces. One or two boys studiously avoided making eye contact. Miss Hammond looked as pale and guilty as any of the boys. Miss Taylor raised her eyebrows in mock surprise that no one chose to confess their involvement. "Harvey you were out of your seat so you are in detention this Wednesday too. Who else shall we extend an invitation too....Chambers! How could I think of not inviting Chambers?" "I wasn't out of my seat please, Miss Taylor!"said Chambers, the words tumbling out of his mouth all at once. "I know you weren't dear boy but I am quite sure you were involved in the planning stage of this little escapade!" "It's not fair!" "Yes, when you think about it life isn't fair! Here is Miss Hammond trying to awaken what artistic talents you may have and you boys chose to take advantage of her trusting nature and play foolish practical jokes on her !" "Edwards, there is no need for you to attend my Wednesday detention class. Such fine acting talents deserve a very special award so I shall see you in my study promptly after tea!" Edwards had no difficulty in imagining just how painful that "special award" would be. One would have thought he would have learned by now not to be too amusing. He was a frequent visitor to Miss Taylor's study and after every visit he failed to see the funny side and sitting became very uncomfortable for some considerable time afterwards. After she had spoken she turned and slowly walked over to Miss Hammond and whispered in her ear. Miss Hammond nodded her head and turned even paler than Edwards. What had just been said the boys couldn't begin to guess. Miss Taylor was a strangely curious woman, not at all like the girlish demure Miss Hammond. Sometimes it appeared as if she was capable of almost anything, especially when she was in one of her dark moods. Often she would take her shoes off in the classroom when she was teaching and pad around silently and dangerously in her stockinged feet. The more nervous amongst the boys would shiver when she passed behind them, such was her unpredictability. Yet at other times she could be patient and affectionate. Even then, when she seemed as playful as a kitten, her blue eyes twinkling with amusement, no one ever completely forgot that her claws were still razor sharp and deadly. Edwards did not look a happy boy as he waited outside Miss Taylor's study promptly after tea. Usually he had a healthy appetite despite the fact that food was always "wholesome" and "plain". It was that kind of school, where every expense was spared. No one could be expected to eat normally when such a painful event was soon to take place. He knew what to expect. Edwards had been waiting nervously for some ten minutes. He heard Miss Taylor before he saw her, the purposeful sound of footsteps, the swish of her black scholastic gown. She gave him a curt nod as she passed, he had been leaning against the wall but stood up straight as she approached. He still had his hands in his pockets. Without even looking at him she said. "Edwards take your hands out of your pockets!"he did so at once but couldn't resist saying, "I was just keeping them warm Miss!" She inserted a key in the heavy oak door and before entering the room she glanced at Edwards and smiled, prettily. "Come inside. I have excellent way of keeping boys warm Edwards!" It was a pity, she said, that he had to play the fool all the time because he was an exceptionally gifted boy. In years to come she would be very disappointed if he didn't achieve great things. It almost made Edwards blush to hear all the splendid things Miss Taylor had observed in his character, for a brief moment he even dared to hope that there wasn't going to be any punishment at all. It had never happened before but Edwards was always the optimist. If he had shared this thought with any of his friends they would have laughed at the amusing idea that Miss Taylor would let a boy off a punishment. In their opinion she enjoyed administering punishment far too much, to even consider letting anyone off. This especially applied to Edwards whom she caned with monotonous regularity. Hence her all too apt nickname, which Edwards himself had invented, Miss Smackyourbum. The precise moment this foolish thought had entered Edwards head, she picked up a small silver key from her desk and inserted it in the cupboard draw. This Edwards knew was where the cane was kept, his heart sunk. She was smiling as she turned the key in the lock. Perhaps Miss Smackyourbum wasn't so apt after all. Miss Caneyourbum would have been better thought Edwards gloomily. "Are you any good at touching your toes Edwards?" Inquired Miss Taylor, she was smiling, her cruel, slightly twisted smile. She was flexing the cane in her small strong hands. Anyone would have thought she enjoyed caning small boys. At least she had never actually been heard to say, this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you! That would be a black lie if ever their was one. Edwards bends over and touches his toes. He feels the back of his legs stretch as he does so. He is wearing grey shorts and a grey shirt. The shirt's long tail is tucked in tightly offering another thin layer of protection. Miss Taylor puts the cane down on the large oak table, walks over and extracts his shirt tail from his shorts. She pulls it up over his back and pats his bottom affectionately. "We can't have that getting in the way!" she says. There is silence in the wood paneled room except for a small carriage clock ticking softly on the mantelpiece. Miss Taylor picks up the cane. It is three foot long and as thin as Edwards little finger. "Six of the best I am afraid!" It is just an expression, not to be taken seriously. Miss Taylor is not in the least bit afraid as she raises her slender arm and brings the cane down with a crack across Edwards behind. He shrieks in agony but he knows this is only the beginning, five more to go. He concentrates on holding on to his ankles and keeping his head down, on keeping still. Miss Edwards takes an elegant step backwards, she always moves most wonderfully, almost like a dancer would move. She flexes the cane again in her small hands and waits, allowing Edwards time for a little reflection. To allow time for him to consider exactly what it was that brought him to the most unfortunate and painful position he now finds himself. Namely, bending over and having his bottom severely caned. Again the cane cuts through the air and lands with a sound like a pistol shot. It lands a few centimetres above the first stroke. Edwards screams in pain. And so Edwards punishment continues. The thing about being caned is it does concentrate the mind wonderfully. Edwards can think of nothing else but his bottom. The fate of the Universe might hang in the balance, Martians might be discovered but all Edwards would be really interested in is how much his bottom hurts. By the time the sixth stroke lands with a loud crack Edwards is feeling very sore indeed and he is crying, genuine salt tasting tears splashing down his pink cheeks. Finally it is dawning on this clever, but in some ways, foolish boy, that the way of the transgressor is a hard one. At least it will be whilst Miss Taylor is around. Ten minutes later Edwards is in the dormitory, alone. His tears are dry and he is happy to put a brave face on it. To pretend that it didn't hurt too much. Although the pinky red stripes on his behind will tell a different story. He is combing his hair and winces every now and then. Kennedy enters the room, which is of course strictly out of bounds until the evening. He looks surprised as if he didn't expect to see Edwards there. "I thought you were still with Miss Smackyourbum!"said Kennedy. He could tell Edwards had been crying but was too tactful to mention it. "No, I am here can't you see."he replied in his usual humorous manner. Kennedy nodded his head and thrust his hands deep into his pockets. "It sounded like she was busy caning someone when I passed her study just a minute ago. I could hear her giving some poor sod a good hiding and whoever it was, was really yelling the place down. I thought it might be you!" Kennedy looked suddenly rather embarrassed. Everyone knew that Edwards was not the strong silent type. Still he kept them all entertained, it would be really boring without him "Don't worry. I know I haven't quite got the hang of that stiff upper lip thing!" he smiled, and shrugged his thin shoulders. "I wonder who it was being caned then?" asked Kennedy, thoughtfully. "Miss Hammond came in just as I was leaving!"said Edwards without really thinking what he was saying. He looked at Kennedy, shook his head slowly, as if he just couldn't believe it. Then they both began to laugh. It was really too priceless.