I knock on the heavy oak door and stand in the doorway, once again I
have a note for Miss Taylor. My legs are trembling. I don't claim to
understand how memory gets confused with imagination but I am there
again waiting. She carries on marking her exercise books ignoring me
as she has done a hundred times before. This is like a film but it
happened so long ago it should be in black and white with rich sepia
tones. She looks up at me. Her eyes are blue and without any hint of
mercy.

"Come here and stand beside me". Her voice is soft and gentle. I stand
beside her my face pale. I am almost in tears. Reluctantly I hand her
the note. Some optimism still lingers in my heart and I hope for
forgiveness without pain. It is a foolish hope.

"Apparently your silliness is distracting the rest of the class" she
says. Her face looks beautiful caught in the soft morning light that
streams in from the half open window.

"Well I have an excellent cure for silly little boys". She stands up,
walks to a large cupboard by the bookcase and opens it with a small
silver key. When she turns she has a thin dark cane in her hands. She
holds it with the sort of easy grace a fencing master would hold his
sword.

"Bend over the chair will you please. We shall see if six of the best
can't help to persuade you to be less silly in future". She briefly
smiles at me and twists the cane menacingly in her small elegant hands
as I bend over the chair.

"I am afraid this is going to be extremely painful for you"