Comments are very welcome. You can reach me either through assd or by e-mail at henlar@hotmail.com.

 

This story contains elements of explicit sexual nature.

If, for some reason, you feel offended by erotic stories, then I don't know why you have opened this one. Maybe to be offended, so you can complain about how awful it is that somebody writes stuff like this. If that's the case, my advice is to seek professional help. You need it. If you are not allowed to read stories like this, I will not be held responsible, if you choose to continue. But don't worry; it's all fantasy.

A great thanks to Terry Steyaert for editing.

 

 

Reposting or any other use of this story is strictly prohibited without the express, written permission of the author.

Copyright Henrik Larsen 2003.

 

Anna, Susan, Sandra, Sis, and Me. Part 6

 

 

Anna was a little anxious when she reached Susan and Sis' flat, unsure what mood Sis would be in. Sis was tough but the medical treatment she was going through could bring down even the best, especially because patients were already mentally weakened by the diagnosis itself. The news that you have a fatal disease was hard to handle for most people. Anna half regretted going alone. Martin knew Sis and knew how to cheer her up.

Anna needn't worry. Sis had a smile on her face when she opened the door and looked much better than could be expected. A scarf covered her head, concealed the lack of hair and made her look like a farm girl. It was kind of cute and suited her. The only noticeable difference was the missing eyebrows and lashes.

"Come on in. It so lovely to see you."

Anna looked around in the stylish living room, then out the window.

"Wow! It's really a posh flat."

"It's wonderful. I've always dreamt of a place like this."

"Martin wants a house, but if we could get something like this he might change his mind."

"Don't count on it. He hates flats."

"I know. The noise and always having to consider if the noise you're making bother the neighbours. Maybe that's the way it is when you've been living in a house. But you're so alone in a house. I don't know if I can get used to it."

"You will. Have you found a house?"

"No. We're looking, but we need to save up more for the down payment. It will be a year or so before we have enough. Our flat will have to do until then."

The tea was ready and Susan had baked a cake. At least Anna assumed it was Susan. According to Martin, Sis transformed a kitchen into a disaster area in seconds. The cake looked so tempting and Anna could not resist, even though she had promised herself not to become a compulsive eater, just because she was pregnant.

It was a delicious orange sponge cake. Anna savoured the small piece she had taken, considering if it would really hurt that much to eat one more later. Sis apparently loved the cake as well and was already on her second piece, her slices being almost twice the size of Anna's. When she saw Anna staring at her, she smiled embarrassed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't eat so fast, but the chemotherapy spoils my appetite for over a week. I get nausea and can't keep anything in me. It's really awful, so I have to make the best of the week I can eat. In a few days I'll have the next treatment and then I won't be eating much for ten days."

"Right now, you look like you're doing okay."

Sis had just take a big bite of cake and had to chew it before she could answer. She chewed and chewed, but in situation like that, it always takes forever to get it down. Both girls laughed, and Sis almost choked in the cake.

"I try to keep myself occupied. If I have too much time on my hands, I start thinking. That can really can get me down, but all in all I'm doing fine. Susan has really been a great help. I don't know how she puts up with me when I'm really sick. I'll spare you the details, but I'm not sure I could do it without getting sick myself."

Anna shivered a little. She could imagine what it was like without a detailed description and agreed that Susan did an admirable job. They talked about Susan and her bad experiences with men in general, and her wicked uncle in particular. Anna asked Sis if she had suggested to Susan to seek professional help.

"Yes, I have, but Susan doesn't want to. She wants to deal with it herself at her own pace. She doesn't want some shrink to bring up things that she has spent years to suppress. Maybe she's right. She's much better now and still making progress. She's talking about it now, slowly getting rid of the guilt and shame. It looks like she's genuinely enjoying life now. If only I was... never mind. How are you doing? There's not much to see yet."

"I'm doing fine. I have a little morning sickness and I'm more tired, but it will pass. I know from some of my friends that it could be much worse," Anna smiled timidly. "My greatest worry is ridiculous, really. They say a first time pregnant often have little to show for it the first three or four months. I guess it will be at least another month before it will show. I know it's silly but I can hardly wait. It's like... I want all the world to see, now."

Sis suddenly looked thoughtful and sad.

"You know, until they told me that I might not be able to have children after the treatments, I never thought I wanted children. Maybe it's because you always want what you can't have."

"Don't give up all together. They did say that you might not be able to have children, not that you couldn't?"

"I don't want to get my hopes up too high. I'll have to wait and see. I have to get over it, first."

"You will."

Sis nodded and tried to smile. Silence followed. Anne wished Martin was with her. He was so much better at this sort of thing; talking about the illness, death and life, cheering up Sis. "Please don't cry," Anna was repeating inside her head again and again. The seconds felt like hours while Sis was fighting the tears. Not knowing what else to do Anna got up, sat down next to Sis on the couch, and hugged her. It was instinct more than a deliberate act. Only a shiver revealed that Sis was crying.

"Sorry. I thought I was done with that." Sis sat up and dried her eyes. "Everything is cool. I know what I'm facing, and then suddenly feel so scared. I feel I'm going to die and there's so much I want to do. I fight it but it comes back when I least expect it."

"You are doing so fantastic, but you're allowed to cry and be scared, too."

"I know but it makes Susan worried. She has enough to deal with already. I can't ... I don't want to be scared. I wanna live. I do believe I'll beat it. The doctors say I will almost certainly, but sometimes that little 'almost' gets to me. I can't explain it. Just happens."

"You will be okay. Martin said you're responding well to the treatment. Hang on in there."

"Damn Hodgekin's. I don't want to talk about it now. Think positive thought's Sis!" She straightened and smiled, more convincingly than before.

"They can actually be quite funny at the hospital. When I was going to have the first treatment, Susan and I were in the waiting room and they called people by name. When they called Grete Petersen nobody responded. We were only five people there and we all looked at each other. The nurse called again and it wasn't until the third time I realised it was me. So, I asked the nurse if she could change the name in my journal to Sis. I've never used Grete and I hate that name. In the ward, they all called me Sis. I thought they had put it in as my first name, but this nurse looked at me as I if I'd said something very naughty. Under no circumstances could she change that. It could cause all kinds of complications. I couldn't really figure out why, because for all other purposes they use my social security number and I told her so. She almost threw me out, but the doctor came along and saved me. I'd love to see that nurse's face when she see the note the doctor put in: "Patient prefers to be called Sis instead of Grete."

"Martin never told me your name was Grete."

"Well, I try to keep it a secret, but I thought he had told you. When we were younger and we were fighting or arguing, he calls me Grete."

Anna giggled. "I take it you won't be honoured if we name the child after you, if it's a girl?"

"Dead right. So, what about the house?"

Anna was relieved not to talk about hospital and illness and embarrassed that she was. It was good for Sis to talk about it, get it out in the open, but Martin had spent hours talking with her, Susan too, and they were much better at it than she was.

"We need more space. We are saving a fair amount of money each month after Martin gave up his flat and moved in with me. Hopefully we can buy a house before the baby's first birthday."

"But you prefer a flat, right?"

"Yeah. The thought of being alone in a house scares me a little, but I guess I can get used to it. I know Martin wants it really bad. A garden with a sandpit and lawn for the baby to play on would be nice. A lot easier than going to the playground in the park, too. The sandpit in the park is not covered and you never know how many cats, dogs and foxes have used it."

"God, I never thought about that. It must be because I grew up on a farm with no sandpit but a lot of animal shit."

They both laughed. The bad vibes were gone and didn't return that afternoon, but on the way home Anna thought a lot about how terrifying it had to be to face a potentially terminal disease. The mere thought made her stomach tighten in a cold knot. She wanted Sis to get well right now. There were no degrees of damage, it was full recovery or nothing, and even then there was the risk of the disease re-emerging. It could be years. How could anyone stand to live knowing this?

Martin was home when she returned and he was quite cheerful.

"So, how was my favourite sister doing?"

"She was doing just fine. Susan had baked a lovely cake."

Anna left it there. Martin had enough to deal with already to tell him about Sis' fear and her own worries.

"And how is my soon to be wife doing?"

"I'm doing fine."

"I had an offer today that may mean we can move a little faster than expected."

"An offer?"

"One of the guys from the office has a friend working at the swimming bath and he's going in for a planned operation of some kind. Anyway, he'll be away for two months. I can have his job. He doesn't work full time: four days from five to nine and every other Sunday. It will give a good sum for the down payment on a house. That is, if you think it's a good idea."

Anna knew the house meant a lot to Martin and the more she thought about it the more the idea of a garden appealed to her, but working two jobs would be pretty hard for Martin.

"Can you handle two jobs? I don't want you to collapse of exhaustion. Then I'd rather wait a little longer."

"No way. All I have to do it to be there and make sure people behave, you know, no running around the pool, things like that. It's a real easy job."

"Well, if you think you can handle it. It would be nice to get something bigger."

Martin put his arms around her stomach. "We might need a bigger bed. You're growing."

For once, Martin said the wrong thing at the wrong time. Anna suddenly felt weary and depressed.

"I'm only getting fat. I don't look pregnant at all. I'm sick in the morning and fall asleep over dinner."

"Hey. It's all right. You will look fabulously pregnant in a month or two and it's only natural to be tired. You have to sleep for two now."

In a way she knew he was right. It was wonderful to have a future husband who understood these things, but it was still annoying. She fell asleep on the couch every evening and in the morning she felt sick. It was over a week since they had made love and it was her fault. She was too tired. Not that Martin blamed her or complained but she missed it, too. A month or two seemed an awful long time go wait to become pregnant the way she had imagined it to be.

 

End of part six.
henlar
Part 7