That began a very painful period for me. Hassan took great delight in torturing me until I thought I was going to go insane. She didn't use physical pain, instead she inflicted mental scars. Some of the key moments over the next three years remain etched in my memory.
She started her methodical demolition of my spirit by describing how Brenda had died.
"You only have yourself to blame for her death, Sean. If you had only listened to reason, if you had 'emerged' on Gael in the proper way, then she would still be alive.
"Her poor 'other-world' body was frail and couldn't withstand the forces your 'emergence' created. Her body splintered into a million tiny pieces. There wasn't a piece of her big enough to pick up, so thoroughly did you destroy her.
"How does that make you feel, Sean? How does it feel to be the one responsible for your lover's death? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"
The worst part of what Hassan was saying was the massive wave of guilt that I felt for being the one who had killed Brenda. Of course, that's what Hassan intended. I would learn that she always chose her words very carefully, and for maximum effect.
She taunted me over Brenda's death every day for a year and I thought I couldn't take any more. I had just about come to the decision to end my own misery by killing myself. I had even decided how I was going to do it: by tearing out my own throat with my right hand.
I thought that things couldn't get any worse and that's when Hassan proved me wrong.
"How are we today, my little plaything? Are you well, Sean? You look well enough, not as well as your little trollop of a girlfriend looks though! I have to grudgingly admit that she does brush up quite nicely.
"She looked almost pretty when she married my brother, Aiden, yesterday. She certainly seemed deliriously happy on her big day.
"How quickly we are forgotten eh, Sean? Barely a year and already she has married another. Did you think she loved you? Did you? Ha, ha! You did, didn't you? I can see it in your face.
"She couldn't have loved you, Sean. She started cosying up to my brother almost as soon as she came here. You were definitely 'out of sight, out of mind' and she couldn't wait to climb into Aiden's bed! Now she's married and her belly is already beginning to bulge with the fruit of Aiden's seed."
Madness overtook me. I had reviled myself for nearly a year, thinking that my foolishness had killed the love of my life. I hated myself so much that I had been ready to kill myself. Now Hassan was telling me that it had all been a lie. She had taunted me with a lie for a year!
Forgetting my previous experience, I ran full tilt at the wall and crashed into it. The pain as I was thrown across the cell once more was almost a blessing. It was the first thing I had felt in nearly six months, as I had slowly begun to shut down mentally and physically.
"Tut, tut. That was very foolish, Sean. You should have learned your lesson from the last time.
"Let me describe the wedding for you, I'm sure you'll want to hear all the little details."
That's exactly what she did ... for three hours. Then she came back the next day, and the next and the next. I was forced to listen to how happy Brenda had been to marry the gorgeous Aiden.
Hassan delighted in telling me how much in love Brenda was with her brother. She spent hours describing what a wonderful couple they made.
"There is glow about her, Sean. Marriage and pregnancy seem to agree with her. Have you noticed how her eyes have little flecks of gold in them when she is happy?"
That comment was crushing. I could remember only too well what those little flecks of gold looked like in her brown eyes. Hassan was once more sticking in the knife and twisting it for good measure.
For another year I was regaled with stories of the domestic bliss that was the world of Aiden and Brenda. Hassan really enjoyed herself, when she began to describe how much of a fool I had been to ever think that Brenda had loved me.
"Oh this is much worse than what you did to me, Sean. You hardly knew me, so rejecting me was nowhere near as bad as what your little Brenda has done to you. She never mentions your name, it's as if you never existed. She lives for Aiden."
When Hassan described the banquet that Aiden had hosted for Brenda's birthday I knew that it was around the end of March. That was the first reference point I'd managed to get since I had woken up in the cell.
A year and a month had passed since Hassan had captured me and she showed no signs of tiring of her little game of mental torture.
"She danced and laughed the whole night through, Sean. Your little Brenda hung onto my brother as if he was the most precious thing in this world of Gael.
"She hangs on his every word. You can see that she positively adores him."
Her next words hit me so hard that I collapsed onto the floor of the cell.
"And their son looks like a mirror image of his father! They call him Malcolm, after my father. I would have told you about the birth before, but you know how fragile babies can be? He's three months old now and appears a healthy child.
"Brenda is besotted with him. She fusses over him constantly and he will undoubtedly turn out to be a spoiled brat. She breast-feeds him you know? I've seen her little breasts with their brown nipples just waiting to be sucked."
I could picture those same brown nipples and almost taste them in my mouth. How could Brenda do this to me? How could I have read her so badly wrong? I could almost feel my heart crumbling within my chest as Hassan spent day after day sharing new titbits about Brenda's happy life.
If I thought this was my lowest point I hadn't bargained for the capacity that Hassan had for inflicting pain. Two years had now passed (Hassan had described another of Brenda's birthday feasts) and Hassan began to feed me other juicy snippets for her own entertainment.
"You probably want to know that Brenda's mother has been struck down with cancer again, Sean. Apparently the 'other-world' doctors can't do anything for her and she has only months to live.
"Isn't it a shame that there's no one who can do anything for her? The poor woman. She believes that Brenda is dead and has mourned her passing. Now she's going to have to face her own mortality.
"Aiden has kept this from Brenda of course. He doesn't want her to feel the pain of losing her mother. So touching, don't you think? My brother really loves Brenda and she loves him.
"Oh and by the way, Sean. Your own mother passed away six months ago. Did I forget to tell you that? Oh, how bad of me to forget something as important as that.
"Your father isn't keeping very well either and it probably won't be long before Axon falls into our family's hands. How will that feel, Sean. To have both of your parents die while you are locked up here in my cell?"
My father's health was of little interest to me, but the death of my mother and the return of Linda Thomas' cancer were both hammer blows and once again I contemplated killing myself.
Throughout these two years there had been one thing that had at first acted as a painful reminder, but had gradually become my only link with sanity ... the ring that Brenda had placed on my finger.
When Hassan had convinced me that I had been the cause of Brenda's death, her profile in the stone was like a dagger to my heart. When Hassan had described Brenda's marriage to Aiden and the birth of their child I had almost torn the ring from my finger, but I hadn't.
She might not love me any longer, but I was still very much in love with her. Sometimes I would stare at the little stone while Hassan spewed out her latest taunts. At such times I even found a smile playing across my lips.
And then came the day that brought hope back into my life. Hassan made a mistake. She couldn't have known that she had made it, but it was a mistake, and it gave me hope.
"It's nearly Brenda's birthday again. I wonder what Aiden is going to give her as a present this year? He asked her if there was something from the 'other-world' that she particularly missed and she said there wasn't. Isn't that sweet? She has everything she's ever wanted here in Scania with Aiden!"
WRONG! That was just plain wrong, so wrong it couldn't be true. Brenda could never be happy in a world without machines and engines. My girl couldn't live her life without getting her hands covered in oil.
And if Hassan was lying about this, what else had she lied about? She had lied for a year that Brenda was dead. Was it all lies? Perhaps Brenda hadn't married Aiden? Perhaps there was no child? Maybe Mom wasn't dead and Linda's cancer hadn't re-appeared?
Hope. I had lived for nearly three years now with none, and suddenly there was the faintest spark of it to brighten up my life. I grabbed hold of it. I nurtured it, blowing on the little spark to try and keep it alive.
With hope came other things. I began to care again. That had long since left me. What was there to care about? Now it returned. I cared that she had taken me prisoner. I cared that the people that I loved didn't know what had happened to me or where I was.
Awareness. That also began to come back. Awareness of how evil Hassan was, and how poisonous her words were. With this came an awareness of the need to escape from my cell, if I was ever going to re-start my life.
In all my time in the cell, I had never figured out how I had entered it. Once I used the power to help me stay awake for four whole days trying to find out its secret. Food and water would appear while I was sleeping, so I tried to stay awake to find out where it came from.
All that happened was that I wasn't fed for four days. Hassan must have been able to see me, and she refused to let me find out the secret of the cell.
As part of keeping my little spark of hope burning I mentally rehearsed all of the things I had to work with. There wasn't much admittedly, but one thing I had in my favour was the fact that I was a crossover. I could do some magic, and Hassan wouldn't suspect that. If and when the time came, I would have to exploit that little surprise, if I was to have any chance of escape.
Brenda's next birthday came and went and with it there was more taunting from Hassan. Her words had lost a lot of their impact on me now, but I continued to keep up the impression that I was feeling the pain she wanted me to.
And then I had a stroke of luck. I was sleeping when I felt something crawl across my face. Sitting up I sensed the beetle falling from my face to the floor of the cell. There was a personality there! I linked with the tiny insect and asked its name.
"That's just silly, why do you expect me to have a name? I'm a beetle for goodness sake!"
I stopped myself from laughing at the thought that he'd just sent me.
"Even the smallest of the mother's creatures should have a name, my friend. How about I call you Scarab? That's a fine name for a beetle."
I could sense him run the name round inside his tiny head until he decided he quite liked the idea of having a name and in particular the one I had chosen for him.
"All right, I like it. Scarab I shall be."
"How long have you been in this cell, Scarab?"
"Only since last night. I fell through the hole in the ceiling up there when the two-legs was putting the food and water in. I've been trying to get back our ever since, but I can't find the hole."
Just like that I had my confirmation that the entrance to the cell was in the ceiling above me. Now all I had to do was think of a plan that would get me through the reflector charm and out of the cell.
Days passed while I tried to think of a plan. I took to sharing some of my food with my new friend, Scarab. The beetle welcomed the food and the fact that I was careful where I put my feet, but like me, he was keen to get out of the cell.
I came to the conclusion that Hassan was somehow able to tell when I was really asleep. Several times I had pretended to sleep, hoping she would open the hole in the ceiling. On each occasion the normal mealtime passed without any food being deposited in the cell. She had to have some kind of enchantment that told her when I was sleeping.
That awareness led to increased hope and my little spark grew inside me. The makings of a plan began to take shape in my head and I shared every detail with the beetle. He after all was going to be crucial to its success.
I practised over and over in the darkness until I was sure I could do what I needed to without even thinking about it. That would be important.
I went to sleep as I normally did, but with the hope burning strongly that this would be my last in this mother forsaken cell. How long I was asleep, I'm not sure. I was awoken by Scarab falling from the ceiling onto my face. Without thinking about it, my right hand rose and a furious burst of power surged from my index finger towards the ceiling.
"Aahhhhh!"
I heard the cry, and was on my feet in an instant. Summoning up more power, I first of all quickly sent a burst to light up the ceiling. Once I had pinpointed the hole, I leapt up, and grabbed the stone's edge. Then I pulled myself out of the cell.
Hassan was lying in a heap to one side. I checked her quickly, only to find that my burst had killed her.
Turning full circle, I found that I was at the top of a high column of stone. There no obvious way up or down and I assumed (dangerous!) that Hassan must have used some form of magic to get herself to the platform.
Scarab chose that moment to scuttle out of the hole, and I thanked him for the part he had played in the escape.
"Is there anything I can do for you?"
"You have already done enough. You have given me a name!"
It was dark and I remembered Charles warning me that Scania was not a place where you wanted to be outside, at night. I could wait for daylight, but that would be taking a chance. Someone else could approach this tower at any moment. I had spent enough time here.
Bidding the beetle farewell, I picked up Hassan's body and leapt from the tower and began to fly. As with my other trip to Scania, I found that there were no ley lines below me to draw power from. There would be nothing to draw on until I crossed Scania's border.
I felt no satisfaction in having killed Hassan. Amazingly, I was able to put the fact that I had killed someone behind me, and instead was able to think about what I was going to do next. My time in the dungeon had taught me a lot and I needed to heed the lessons.
One thing in my favour was that I had learned a lesson from my last trip to Scania. I had managed to wander round the forest in a circle and that told me that I needed to study navigation. Charles had drilled me on all of the various ways of being able to maintain a direction and one such way was to navigate by the stars.
I looked for the brightest star in the Gael sky, Artois, and took my bearings from that. With luck I was flying due west and would be out of Scania in an hour or two.
My senses picked up the ley lines before my eyes could see them. The feel of the soil below me began to change and I knew that I had crossed Scania's border. Restoring my stores of power was a priority and I began to draw some from the nearest 'Road'.
This was my first connection to 'the power' since my ill-fated emergence and I was shaken by the difference I felt now. The connection and power I had managed to achieve previously was a pale shadow of what I was experiencing now and a thrill shot through me.
The sun started to come up from behind me and I was able to make out the nature of the countryside I was flying over. Several more hours took me to the western coast of Axon and I continued flying over the sea until I felt I was far enough out to dispose of Hassan's body.
Her family would know that she had gone missing, but I wanted to hide what had happened to her for a bit longer yet.
My next priority was to find out what had happened to Brenda. The quickest way I could think of doing that was to pay my father, King Kenneth a visit. If Brenda had married Aiden, then the King would know about it.
One thing was for sure, it would not be a good idea to have anyone see me flying, so I returned to the ground and used the summoning words to call Mòr Dubh.
It took the stallion a little time to find me, but I felt tears stinging my eyes when he did.
"Sean! Sean! It really is you! Everyone said that you were dead!"
"As you can see, my friend, I am very much alive. And I am feeling much better for seeing you! Will you assist me by taking me to Gower?"
"Of course, you fool. Climb up, and we'll be on our way."
I described what had happened to me over the past three years. Mòr Dubh made comments about how dangerous two-legs' were and that he'd been right to keep away from them.
"Apart from you obviously, Sean."
He could sense my pain at being parted from Brenda and he tried to comfort me about that as best he could.
"You two were made for each other, Sean. I'm sure that it will all work out in the end. The mother has a way of making sure that happens eventually."
I hoped that he was right about that.
Edited By TeNderLoin