Chapter 16
Ben sat in his chair with Susan on his lap. He read her the comic book for the third time. After the first reading if he made a mistake she immediately called it to his attention. He started to read the comic book making up an outlandish story to go along with the pictures. She pulled the comic book away from him and pouted. He agreed to read the story right and she gave the book back. After he had finished reading the books he asked if she was sleepy. When he didn't get an answer, he looked down at her. She had fallen asleep.
He picked Susan up and put her in her bed on the floor and covered her. He watched her for a while to make sure that she would not wake up. When he turned away from her he saw that Emma was watching him. He went to the area that served as his kitchen and cleaned up the day's mess. He turned off the lights, leaving only the bathroom light on in case Susan woke up during the night. He walked over to the bed to check on the woman. She was staring at him as if to get inside his head.
"Will you sit with me and talk for a few minutes?" she asked.
He walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. She hesitated as if she wanted to say something to him and didn't know how to say it. He took her hand and she gripped his hand tightly.
"I want to thank you for saving me and Susan. I feel that we are imposing on you. I also want to thank you for helping out with Susan; she loves you already. My husband..."
She stopped talking and turned away from him. He could not tell if she was crying or not.
"Emma, would you like to talk. It's been a long time since I've sat and listened to someone else's troubles. I been so wrapped up in my own that I've pretty much been alone for a very long time. Tell me about your husband. Susan seems to miss him very much."
She turned back to him, "We were childhood sweethearts. He's the only man that I ever loved. We dated all though high school and got married as soon as we graduated. I got a job at K-Mart and Steven went into an apprenticeship program. With my job and his, we lived pretty well. After he became a journeyman we lived very well. We had decided to put off having children until we could afford a house. After his parents died, we had their house and I asked Steven if we could start a family. I really don't think his heart was in it as much as mine was. He enjoyed the single life, being able to pick up and go whenever we felt like it, partying whenever we felt like it, just living life without any cares. We had been married six years when Susan was born. Steven started taking night courses to get into construction management. I think he felt that Susan had taken away the life that he wanted. I don't know how to explain our marriage. I loved Steven very much, but we drifted apart. My interests were in Susan and making a home for my family. Steven's interests were his career and the life he used to have. The last year we were married, we rarely had sex and I heard from several people that Steven had a girlfriend. I never confronted him about it because I kept trying to make him a very good home, a home he would want to come home to."
She let out a big sigh, "I don't think you really want to hear about all of my troubles. Please tell me a little about you. I've heard you at night. You cry out in your sleep. I can't believe that you've ever done anything so bad that these demons from your past can cause you so much pain. Please tell me a little about you, I would like to hear about what disturbs your sleep so much."
Ben suddenly became very uneasy, "I wish that I was as good a man as you think I am. Don't be afraid of me, I would never hurt you or Susan. Yes, demons from my past do haunt me. I hurt some very nice people in the past and I'm doomed to relive it everyday. I'm a simple man and I keep to myself. I wouldn't want to burden anyone with my sins. I can't bring myself to talk about my past. It been many years since anyone has even asked."
"What about family or friends? Is there no one that you can turn to, maybe a shoulder to cry on?"
He stared at the far wall, "All of my family and friends are long gone. I move around a lot and rarely have time to make friends."
She laughed and asked half-seriously, "You're not wanted by the police or the FBI are you?"
"No," he answered softly, "I don't have any legal problems. As I said, you and Susan have nothing to fear from me. My demons belong to me exclusively."
She looked into his eyes, "I don't know how to ask this. What happened with that plate? You got mad and the plate started to move and almost fell off of the table. Don't tell me that it was a truck again. I don't remember what is outside this building, but I do know that I haven't heard a car or truck since I've been here."
"I can't explain that. I don't know why it did that," he lied.
"I still think that you're a very nice person. I think that you are blaming yourself for something that was probably not even your fault. I wish that I could hold your soul in my hands and caress the cares away. Please stop shutting yourself off from the world. The world needs many more people like you."
He didn't answer. It was his fault and the world would tremble if it had more people like him. He wished that he could tell her his story. It was such a burden to be carrying this around alone. She would be terrified if she knew what forces lurked in the world and the other places. She was right about his soul. He would love to be able to have someone hold his soul and give him peace. But he knew that was never to be.
He became aware of her shaking him, "You left me. You went to that place you won't tell me about. Please forgive yourself."
He nodded, knowing that that would be impossible. He had tried to put it out of his head and it didn't work. There was no way he could shake this curse. His enemy was too strong. How he wished that he could go back and undo what he had done.
She leaned back on the pillow. The light from the bathroom didn't quite reach the bed so her face was in the shadows. He looked at her for the first time without having to worry about her care. Her face had a glow about it. She was a very pretty woman. He remembered that she had a very good figure. She would have no trouble getting a good husband.
"I feel bad making you sleep in that chair and taking your bed."
It took a second for him to realize that she had spoken to him, "I often sleep in the chair when you're not here. I'm used to it."
She punched him in the arm, "You're going to make me say it, aren't you. Will you stay with me for a while tonight?"
"Emma, you don't have to do that."
She looked into his eyes, "I'm not asking for sex. I wouldn't be much good to you tonight anyway. I just need someone to hold me. I suddenly feel so alone. It's been so long since I had anyone hold me. For some reason I feel very much at peace here. I need you to hold me and I think that it would do you good too."
"But I would keep you awake," he said.
"When the dreams come?"
He nodded his head. He knew that the dreams would come. They always did. A thought came to him and he shuddered. He wondered if she could be in danger from his enemy. He would not want any harm to come to her or Susan.
She reached for his hand and pulled him to the bed. He sat on the bed and removed his shoes and socks. He hesitated and decided to leave his pants on. He crawled into the bed and she turned on her side and pulled him to her and held his hand in front of her. She kissed his hand.
"Thank you for being the man you are. It feels very good having you hold me. I wish that I could chase away whatever it is that's bothering you. There has to be someway for you to get peace in your life."
She stopped talking and in a few minutes he heard the regular breathing that told him she was asleep. She was right; this did feel very good holding her. It had been many years since he had held a woman. It was not right for her to have the problems she did. He would have to try and help her. The lawyer would regret ever having taken advantage of her. His eyes started to get heavy and he fell asleep.
The dreams started as they always did. His enemy was particularly vicious tonight. The face of his enemy came to him and told him that he was up to his old ways. Another woman he was taking advantage of. He told Ben that he would never change. Then his enemy started to tell him that the woman was using him and that he should just get rid of her. He told Ben that if he tried to keep the woman he would put a curse on her and her child.
Ben woke up and his clothes were soaking wet with his sweat. He looked at Emma and saw that she was still asleep. He slipped out of bed as quietly as he could. He went into the bathroom and splashed water on his face. He took off his soaked clothes and went into the other room quietly to find something to wear.
Emma raised her head, "The demons again?"
He nodded and suddenly realized that he was naked. He tried to hide himself behind a chair.
She patted the bed, "Come back to bed. I'll hold you this time and see if we can't keep the demons where they belong. They don't belong with you."
He stood for a minute and then went to the bed and crawled in. He
quickly turned on his side away from her. She slid over to him and
molded her body to him and put her arm around him. Within minutes she
was asleep again. He fought sleep for a long time until his eyes became
so heavy that he fell asleep. His demon returned, but was so far in the
distance that Ben couldn't hear what he was saying. After a while the
demon left and Ben slept the rest of the night in peace.