Eight species, each with its own style of warfare, could be thrown into the war against the Chitiniodians in a manner that optimized the psychological comfort of each. The Dactites with their hit and run mentality would give them quick hitting raiders. The aggressive Margot would give them a slowly advancing force. The territorial mindset of Omagrons would give them a defensive capability. It was not quite clear what the Dromat were doing besides building mines, but they didn't normally fight. The Andicors were happy being the bait in the traps being set for the aliens. The Engels were busy mass producing the weapons of war. The Gnord were trying to figure out where they fit into the entire effort. The Quatyl were still searching for additional space faring races.
The Humans were the odd ones in the entire mix. The Dromat described the Human involvement in very simple terms — the Humans were pretty good liars. There was nothing straightforward or logical about how the Humans approached the war. As Captain Beac described it, "It is hard for an enemy to figure out what you are doing when your allies are confused."
The entire brain trust was in the control room of a Quatyl Scout ship. The sensors showed that the ship was basically in the middle of nowhere surrounded by a lot of nothing. Chip said, "Let there be ships!"
Suddenly the sensors started registering the presence of two dozen ships. They were completely surrounded. James said, "You did it."
"Of course, I'm the Great Ploppertui," Chip said with pride in his work.
"That's pretty good," the Engel said.
Amazed by the demonstration, the Dromat said, "He not only deceives the eyes, he can deceive sensors too."
"Smoke and mirrors," Chip said.
"I didn't see any smoke," Cousin Itt said puzzled by the statement.
"It is an expression," James said.
"It is a confusing expression," Cousin Itt said. There were a lot of confusing things about these Humans. It seemed to him that the humans delighted in being confusing.
Although he had seen the sensors showing nothing, Captain Beac had not been fooled for a second. He said, "I knew the ships were there. I could sense the servant races on board."
"Oh," Chip said with a frown. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I'm not sure that I can solve that problem."
"Is it a problem?" James asked looking around the table.
"I don't know," Chunky answered.
Captain Beac said, "We can sense, but can't control the Chitiniodians. I don't think they can sense other races."
The Dromat entered James' office carrying a mass of metal. Looking up at James, he asked, "Are you busy?"
"A little. I'm planning a dinner party for Admiral Murphy," James said although it would be difficult to say how what he was doing was in any way related to planning a dinner party. There were two ice buckets, a pitcher of water, and a water glass on the table.
Holding out the metal construction for James to inspect, Cousin Itt said, "Look at what we discovered."
It took James a couple of seconds to recognize the device. Shrugging his shoulders, he said, "It is a collapsible geodesic sphere."
"No. It is the most perfect arrangement of levers that I have ever encountered. It is even better than the umbrella," Cousin Itt said with obvious awe in his voice. He opened the sphere and then closed it down again. He shook in excitement.
"I'm glad you like it," James said raising an eyebrow. He had seen the same level of excitement when the Dromat had discovered the umbrella.
If the umbrella was a great weapon, then this had to be an even better one. Cousin Itt said, "It is a perfect weapon to use upon the enemy."
"How would we use it?" James asked getting interested in the conversation. Now that the talk had turned to something useful, he was ready to give him his full attention.
"It could be used to lie to the eyes like the lies that the Great Ploppertui creates. We fire it at them when it is big and then it gets smaller the closer it gets to them," Cousin Itt said while opening and closing the sphere. It was magical.
"Then what?" James asked somewhat puzzled.
"I don't know," Cousin Itt said. He looked at the construction and said, "Levers. It has levers connected to levers in a most amazing manner."
"I know," James said.
"It is a perfect arrangement of levers. It must do something that can help us defeat the enemy," Cousin Itt said feeling a little frustrated.
James said, "I'll think about it."
"Please do," Cousin Itt said.
James chuckled when a strange little idea came to mind. Looking over at Cousin Itt, he said, "You know, it would be funny if we had a ship that could change shape and move so that when it was fired upon it could dance around the missile. I bet that would drive them crazy."
Bowing to James, Cousin Itt said, "A most unique idea. I shall talk to the Dromat engineers and see what they think."
"Okay," James said with a shrug of his shoulders.
"This will be a most interesting project," Cousin Itt said as turned and left.
Starman looked over at James and commented, "A dancing space ship."
"Why not?" James asked.
"What kind of mind could come up with the idea of a dancing spaceship?" Starman asked.
"The mind of a genius," James answered. The slathern made a sound like it was choking. James said, "And now for another little demonstration of my brilliance."
James went back to work on his little project. He put an ice cube from one of the ice buckets in his glass and then stacked a number of other ice cubes from the other ice bucket atop it. He filled the glass with water and then sat back to watch. He started the count down, "Five four three two one zero minus one minus two minus three."
At minus three the ice cube at the bottom of the glass exploded. It pushed the ice cubes above it upwards along with the water in the glass. The result reminded James of a geyser going off. He grinned at the result. This was going to be a dinner that went down in history. He smiled and said, "And she only used a dribble glass on me!"
"She will get angry with you James," Starman said.
"Good. Then she'll fire me and I'll be free to raise Baby James or Baby Jamesina to have a good sense of humor," James replied.
"You are too valuable to fire. With you in charge, we now have a huge fleet and only two ships have even engaged the enemy," Starman said.
"Do you think I should use more frozen CO2 in the ice cubes? The explosion will be even more incredible," James said.
"You'll break the glass," Starman said.
James frowned as he thought about it and said, "That would definitely ruin the joke."
"That was interesting," James said after watching the battle unfold on the display.
Having watched so much destruction, Captain Beac felt physically ill. He said, "Interesting? That was terrifying."
"It was only a hundred and seventy-five ships," James replied. He had expected closer to two hundred ships this time.
Cousin Itt said, "They will send more ships next time."
"Yes. I would expect about a thousand ships. On second thought, it will probably be more like seven hundred and fifty ships. They should be here in..." James said waving his hands. He finally concluded, "Eight years."
Chunky closed his eyes while he thought through the arrivals of the next wave of the enemy. Using data taken from a computer that had been recovered in the last engagement, he had a pretty good idea of where the ships were located. He projected how long it would take that many ships to meet and then make their way here. He said, "You are right. We can expect them to show up in eight years. How did you know that?"
"It was a guess," James answered.
"How did you come up with that number?" Chunky asked staring at James.
"I don't know," James answered shrugging his shoulders.
Chunky was silent for a minute as he considered the answer. In was incomprehensible that James should come to the same answer as him without knowing how he did it. He asked, "You can't tell me how you came up with that number?"
"That's right," James answered ready to drop the topic of conversation.
"You can't do that," Chunky said staring at James. It shouldn't be possible to pick a number out of thin air like that without something to justify the answer.
"Why not?" James asked surprised by the statement.
Confused that James should even ask the question, Chunky said, "You can't come up with numbers like that without knowing how you came up with numbers like that."
"I do that all of the time," James said with a smile.
Chunky looked at the smile trying to figure out if it was a happy expression or an angry expression. After a minute he decided that it didn't matter what the smile meant. He looked over at the Quatyl and said, "I thought the Humans were slow thinkers."
"They are," Starman replied. "They just attack problems very differently than everyone else."
"I don't understand," Chunky said. He could visualize six dimensions and solve complex equations in his head, but he couldn't just guess a number like that. He could make estimates, but he knew how he arrived at the estimate.
Adopting the human habit of shrugging his shoulders, Cousin Itt said, "His thinking is unique."
"How are we doing with the fleet?" James asked.
"We have ten thousand of your starships, a hundred thousand earth fighters, fifty thousand Dactite fighters, ten thousand Omagron battle cruisers, and a half a million mines," Whip said.
"Do we have enough Omagron to staff that many Omagron battle cruisers?" James asked more than a little surprised by the quantities that were being rattled off. From what he understood there were only ten thousand Omagron left.
Whip looked embarrassed for a moment. That particular question had never occurred to him. After a long moment of silence, he answered, "I don't know."
Giving the tight lipped expression that constituted a smile among Omagron, Chunky said, "We have created a honeymoon hideaway on our home planet for Earthers. As a result, our population is growing significantly. I believe that in thirty years we'll be able to fill all of those ships."
"Really?" James asked. He realized that when a couple could end up with thirty or more children with each coupling that the population could grow pretty fast.
"We're doing the same thing," Cousin Itt said. They were having a minor baby boom of their own.
"Oh," James said.
"Earthers seem to copulate a lot," Chunky said looking at James.
"They do," Cousin Itt said looking at James.
"You can say that again," Starman said.
"They copulate more than any other species," Whip said bobbing his head.
"Uh, shouldn't we be talking about the war?" James asked wanting to get back to the topic of conversation which in his opinion was fighting the Chitiniodians.
"They even complain when the frequency of coupling gets to below once a week," Starman said.
"Amazing," Cousin Itt said.
"How do they manage it?" Whip asked.
Starman said, "I don't know, but they do it everywhere."
"Really?" Fixit, the Dactite, asked. He wondered about the mating habits of Humans.
James looked across the table at Starman and said, "Come on. There's no need to talk about that."
"Stardust is wrapped around an egg right now because they couldn't control themselves the other night in his study," Starman said. He wasn't going to mention that Ann had gotten James to promise that he wouldn't decorate the baby with any fake vomit. She might have trusted him, but Starman knew James better than that.
The egg laid by Stardust hatched and, in due time, a little Quatyl emerged from the lead lined sleeping area under the bed. It was only by a little luck that Ann was in the bedroom in time to see the baby emerge. She knelt down and said, "Oh, you are so cute."
"Thank you, pet of my mother," the little Quatyl answered using the Slathern.
It always amazed Ann how Quatyl were born knowing just about everything that their parents knew. Actually, it was amazing how much the Quatyl knew about a lot of things. Stardust had informed her that she was expecting a male Quatyl within a few hours of the egg being laid. She asked, "Have you picked out a name yet?"
"I was thinking that I would like to be called Starchild."
"Oh, that's a good name," Ann said.
Starchild moved around the room for a little bit and then said, "I'm going to adopt a pet."
"You are?" Ann asked wanting to pick up Starchild. The little baby Quatyl was so cute that it was hard to resist picking it up. She knew that young Quatyl didn't really like to be handled much until they were adopted.
"Yes," Starchild answered.
"Do you know who?" Ann asked wondering how she was going to get the little Quatyl to a place where someone would adopt it.
"Yes," Starchild answered looking up at Ann.
Wondering if Starchild was thinking of adopting her, she asked, "Who?"
"Ensign Powell," Starchild answered. He had come to the conclusion that poor Ensign Powell would make a great pet. The young man truly needed his help in dealing with James.
"That's an interesting choice," Ann said. She had wondered why Ensign Powell didn't already have a Quatyl since most people who headed for the stars had Quatyl as pets.
"I would like to meet him soon," Starchild said. It would be a while before he was ready to adopt a pet, but he wanted to get to know his future pet as soon as possible.
"Okay," Ann said.
Starchild sighed and said, "He is going to be so difficult to train."
Unable to control herself, Ann laughed at the comment. She didn't think Ensign Powell would be difficult to train at all. Some young woman could have him fetching and carrying for her in ten minutes. She asked, "Ernie Powell has got to be the easiest person in the world to handle. Why do you say that he'll be difficult?"
"He doesn't respond well to certain kinds of situations," Starchild answered.
"Like what?"
"Only a Quatyl will be able to train him on how to deal with Starman's pet," Starchild answered.
Wondering if the Quatyl were finally developing a sense of humor, she asked, "What makes you think that a Quatyl can deal with James?"
"Starman does all right with him," Starchild answered.
Ann laughed at the mental image of Starchild trying to coach Ensign Powell on how to deal with James. There was an assumption that James was somewhat predictable. Looking down at the little Quatyl, she said, "This ought to be fun to watch."
Lord Three Bellows (3b) read the report from Admiral 2c1b2t with a little concern. So far the most experienced Admiral of his entire battle force had lost seven percent of his fleet without a single promotion resulting from the engagements. In fact, there weren't even any verified kills. This was an unheard of situation. He turned to his chamberlain and said, "There is something odd happening on the edge of my territory."
"Odd," his chamberlain repeated knowing that Lord 3b did not like odd.
"Yes, very odd," Lord 3b said looking back down at the report. Frowning, he said, "Admiral 2c1b2t has lost eleven hunter fleets without recording a single kill."
"That is most unusual," the chamberlain said.
"Yes, it is. I wonder what the problem is. His captains are all very experienced," Lord 3b said. He read the part about one ship taking out an entire hunter fleet. The ship was spherical.
"I doubt the problem is one of a lack of experience," the chamberlain said.
"True. There is something about this situation that I don't like," Lord 3b said. He read the report trying to identify what really happened. It didn't seem possible that there was a ship that could turn missiles around and send them back to where they had been fired. He decided that he wanted to watch the recording of that particular battle.
There was a noise from the communications station. The chamberlain walked over and glanced at the report. Concerned, he said, "There is another message from Admiral 2c1b2t."
"What does it say?" Lord 3b asked.
The chamberlain answered, "He says that he has just lost another twenty-five hunter fleets."
"How many confirmed kills did he get?" Lord 3b asked. Losing that many ships should translate into at least two thousand kills.
"None," the chamberlain answered after reading the report twice more just to make sure that he hadn't missed something important.
"None?" Lord 3b asked shocked by the answer. Even the Boggums had never managed a victory of that magnitude. They had never even managed to fight to a tie.
"That is what the report says," the chamberlain answered.
"Let me see that report," Lord 3b demanded holding out a claw to grab the report.
While the report was printing, the chamberlain said, "It will take a ten bellows before it finishes printing, Lord."
"Did it say what he was going to do about this?" Lord 3b asked thinking that if he were Admiral 2c1b2t, he would be sending the rest of his hunter fleets there to take care of the problem. Nothing could stand up to over a hundred hunter fleets.
"He is sending his entire navy there. He'll have almost eight hundred ships there in six cycles," the chamberlain answered.
"He is sending his planet busters?" Lord 3b asked rather surprised that Admiral 2c1b2t thought that was necessary. On second thought, having lost so many ships to an unknown alien suggested that it was better to overwhelm them with force.
"So it appears," the chamberlain answered. He handed the report over to Lord 3b.
Lord 3b read the report taking in every word. It was exceptionally brief considering that it documented an engagement that involved so many ships. He said, "This is most unusual."
"Yes, Lord," the chamberlain said.
"How do you think this affects my chances of getting promoted to Overlord?" Lord 3b asked. All he needed was to have one of his Admirals get promoted to Lord for him to become an Overlord. He had nine Admirals in his navy.
The chamberlain answered, "I'm sure that your forces will destroy the aliens without having to call in another Lord to help. You'll be an Overlord soon."
"I think so too," Lord 3b said.