James watched the second Quatyl ship approach their position. It was slowing down, but its approach was still a lot faster than that taken by the first ship. This approach convinced him that the initial approach by the Quatyl had been relatively slow. He said, "They're almost here. I estimate they'll park in our vicinity in about ten minutes."
Captain Klein said, "At least we won't be taken by surprise this time."
James looked down at his console and, with a smile, said, "Speaking of surprises, where is the she-demon?"
"I have no idea who you are talking about," Captain Klein answered watching his wife sneak up on James with a balloon in one hand and a pin in the other. It was hard not to let his pleasure in the sight be visible on his face.
James reached into his pocket and pulled out a plastic spider. He tossed it over his shoulder. His effort was rewarded with a startled screech and the pop of a balloon. He had watched her approach in video feed that he had set up to run through the sensor console. Without turning around, he said, "I got you."
Shaking her hands in reaction to a spider landing on her, Anke bent down and examined the plastic spider on the floor. If there was one thing that she absolutely hated it was spiders. Shaking her head, she said, "We are in the middle of space. There isn't a place within hundreds of thousands of kilometers from us where you can buy something like that plastic spider. Where did you find it?"
"That's Irving. I never go anywhere without Irving. You never know when you need a plastic spider," James answered with a smile.
Looking down at the plastic spider, she could only imagine what other kinds of things he had brought with him on the space ship. First it was balloons and then it was plastic spiders. What kind of person traveled to outer space with those kinds of things? Then an even nastier question came to mind. What other kinds of things did a person like that bring with them? She didn't want to find out. She said, "Okay. Truce."
"Truce," James said turning around to face her with a smile.
Anke looked at her husband while shaking her head. She said, "I have no idea how you can put up with him."
James went over and retrieved his plastic spider. Putting it into his pocket, he said, "You're safe now, Irving. The bad people won't hurt you any more."
It should be noted that Irving was not one of Ann's favorites among James' little toys. She found Irving in the most remarkable places and it never failed to startle her. She looked up from her console and said, "One of these days, Irving."
Anke patted Ann on the back and, in a consoling voice, said, "You must have been very young and stupid when you married him."
James returned to his console and said, "The second Quatyl ship has arrived."
Captain Klein looked at the screen and shook his head. He hated himself for what he was about to say. Looking over at James, he said, "I am going to send you over to the Quatyl ship to discover what you can about how they became a space faring race."
"Can I wear my cape?" James asked.
"No," Captain Klein answered. After thinking about it for a second, he said, "On second thought, I going to have to insist that you wear the cape."
"You just had to take all of the fun out it," James said shaking his head.
Confused, Captain Beac listened to the news concerning the rather sudden cessation of hostilities between James and Anke. Using the Slathern aboard the other space ship, he said, 'Siegfried, I don't understand how throwing a small plastic toy at the female would have any effect.'
Knowing that he would never be able to explain all of the subtleties of human behavior to the other Quatyl, Siegfried replied, 'It is very complicated.'
'Are you sure that this species is sane?' Captain Beac asked. The Dromat had come to the conclusion that the humans were insane. None of the participants in the minor feud had displayed even the most rudimentary logic in their actions. He tended to believe them.
Siegfried answered, 'We're pretty sure that they are mostly sane. James is just a rather unique example of a human. He's a lot like the first pet. He possesses a quality that is called humor and humans tend to appreciate humor.'
'Mostly sane?' Captain Beac asked sounding worried. He didn't like the sound of that at all.
'Yes, ' Siegfried answered knowing that his answers weren't helping the situation at all.
'Mostly sane?' Captain Beac asked again with a little more panic in his voice. His reports back to Quatyl Space Command were getting worse with each message. He had a feeling that the entire Quatyl race was about to go into hiding.
'It is not like they are totally insane in a bad way, ' Siegfried answered.
Feeling depressed, Captain Beac said, 'I'll be sure to add that to my report. They aren't totally insane in a bad way.'
When the hatch of the shuttle opened, James peered out and looked at the small crowd that had gathered to welcome him aboard the Quatyl ship. He immediately spotted the three Dromat standing to the one side and recognized Cousin Itt. James smiled and waved to the hairy little creature.
Cousin Itt wasn't quite sure how to respond until Starman used the Slathern to announce that the wave was a greeting. He waved back wondering how the gesture was both a greeting and a farewell. He shouldn't have been surprised. His studies of the Earth language had pointed out that just about every word of their language had multiple meanings. He, along with the other Dromats, had been shocked to discover that there were multiple languages among this species.
James looked over at the Margots gathered together. He said, "Whoa, giant blue lizards. I bet Anke would just love to find you standing behind her. I bet her screams would echo off the walls for an hour."
Starman translated James' comments using the Slathern. James didn't realize that his words were taken as great compliments by the Margots. They were still trying to figure out who had won the fight for status between James and Anke. In their little power plays, there was no concept of a truce. They assumed that his presence on their ship meant that he had won.
James took a moment to stare at the Andicor. His first thought was that the large crab-like creature would probably taste good boiled and with a little butter. His second thought was that such a pronouncement probably wouldn't be a good idea. For a change, commonsense won out. Deciding that it was probably best to ignore the Andicor for the moment, he turned his attention to the little Dactites. The Andicor actually appreciated being ignored.
The orange little monkey-like creatures were more interested in his ship than in him. Looking at their small size, he said, "I sure could use you little fellows when I'm working on the sensor arrays. You could fit inside the equipment housing and still have room left over to swing a cat."
The Dactites had no idea what a cat was, but the invitation to examine alien engineering was quite a surprise. They looked at each other and then at James. Half of them returned to studying the ship while the other half studied James.
James then turned his attention over to the Gnord. He wondered what one was supposed to say to a centaur. Unable to come up with anything original, he asked, "You wouldn't happen to speak Greek, would you?"
Starman looked up at James for a second and then translated the question. Although the Gnord were not a very curious species, this particular individual couldn't understand why the human was asking if it spoke a human language. The Gnord stared at James for several seconds before it answered, "No."
"That's okay. Neither do I," James said despite being a little disappointed. His comment further confused the Gnord. James looked around for Captain Beac and, not finding him present, said, "Take me to your leader."
That announcement created more than a little consternation among the servants gathered in the room. The Quatyl almost never left their safety pods and never invited a member of the servant races into them. Of course, the safety pods were too small for anyone except the Dactites so that wasn't really an issue. Finally, Cousin Itt said, "You wouldn't fit in the room."
"Oh," James said. He stood there looking at everyone in the room for a second. He shook his head and said, "I've waited my whole life to say that line and then I get told I won't fit in the room. The movies never covered that situation."
The Slathern started making a lot of noise. After about a minute, Starman said, "They will take you to your quarters. Captain Beac will join you there in a little while."
"Okay," James said.
As James was getting settled into his new living quarters, a small fleet of seven ships were observed approaching the lone Quatyl ship parked two light years away. There was one ship in the middle of the fleet surrounded by six other ships equally spaced apart around the central ship. It was an unusual flight pattern and one that Captain Beac had never encountered. He listened to the reports about the fleet with concern. These were ships that were of unknown origin.
Thinking that they might be exploratory vessels from Earth, he sent a message to Captain Klein to find out if he knew anything about them. Upon learning that the only ship the humans had that was capable of deep space travel was parked beside his ship, Captain Beac began to get very concerned. He sent a message to the lone Quatyl ship to prepare for first contact with another alien race.
Captain Beac turned to his mate and said, 'We are unlucky this trip to have encountered two alien races. One race is mostly sane, but not totally insane in a bad way. We know nothing about the other race.'
'They can't be worse than the humans, ' Bear said. She had never been able to get the horrible images from the movie out of her mind. The idea that humans would cheer while one of them killed another just sent shivers down her spine.
'I should have stayed retired, ' Beac said. He thought about everything that was happening and said, 'I have to go meet the Beast now.'
'The beast has a name, doesn't it?' Bear asked. She knew the answer to her question. She had followed the conflict between James and Anke with the same degree of puzzlement as the rest of the Quatyl.
'Yes. It is James, second generation descendant of the first pet, ' Beac answered. He shook his head and said, 'I wish I understood the significance of throwing a plastic replica of a small species of animal at someone.'
'It could be a mating ritual like how an Anticor male gives food to an Anticor female, ' Bear answered.
'You might be right, but they are both mated to other beasts already, ' Beac said. He felt very old. He had a feeling that he was going to be feeling a whole lot older by the time he was done talking with James.
Upon learning that the ships appearing on the sensors were not affiliated with the Quatyl, Captain Klein began to worry. The one person who was most familiar with the sensors was aboard the other ship. That was what really hurt. He had been looking forward to being rid of James for a couple of days. He turned to Ken and asked, "Are you sure that you can operate the sensors?"
"Sure, no problem," Ken answered. He chuckled at the thought of what James would have said at that point.
"What's so funny?" Captain Klein asked with a frown.
"I was just thinking about how James would have answered your question," Ken said.
"Oh," Captain Klein said. He turned back in his chair and sat there for a moment. Unable to stop himself, he asked, "How would James have answered my question?"
"He'd say, 'Sure, no problem.' Then he'd pause for a few seconds and then say, 'I wonder what would happen if I press this button marked self-destruct, '" Ken answered.
"You're probably right," Captain Klein said. He could imagine James saying exactly that. He was thankful that there wasn't a self- destruct button on board the ship. If there had been one, he would never have a good night's sleep again. He would have continual nightmares in which James stumbled across it and pressed it out of curiosity. He was pretty sure that James would press it just to see what would happen. He was quiet for a moment and then asked, "Doesn't it bother you that you're starting to think like him?"
"No."
"It should," Captain Klein said.
Ann giggled at the exchange.
James, Starman, and Captain Beac were in the room that had been set aside for James to use during his stay. It was actually a storage facility, but it had the advantage that the ceiling was high enough for James to stand without having to crouch over. James said, "I'm here to find out if you control minds."
Captain Beac asked, "Are your quarters high enough?"
"They are fine and you are avoiding answering my question," James answered. He had a feeling that it was going to take a long time to get answers to his questions. The communications process wasn't very efficient. He'd ask a question, Starman would translate it into Quatyl and use the Slathern to relay the message to Captain Beac. The captain would answer using the Slathern, Starman would translate the answer into English, and then use the Slathern to relay the answer to James.
Once Starman had translated James' comment, Captain Beac asked, 'Starman, how should I answer him?'
'I don't know, ' Starman answered wishing that he did know the right answer to James' questions. He added, 'Just don't lie to him. They hate that.'
'Tell him, yes, ' Captain Beac said. If the humans were the species that the Quatyl feared, then putting off the truth any longer wouldn't help.
Starman relayed the answer to James, "Yes."
"Yes, what? He's avoiding answering my questions or Quatyl can control minds?" James asked.
"We can control the minds of most species," Captain Beac answered.
Raising an eyebrow, James said, "Most species? I take it that there are some species that you can't control."
"We can't control humans," Captain Beac answered. He looked at James thinking that life would be so much easier if they could control these huge beasts.
Starman said, "We can't control most of the species on Earth. We can control the minds of a few rodents and keep dogs from attacking us."
"What about the Dromat? Can you control them?" James asked.
Knowing that James would ask about each species, Captain Beac answered, "Yes. We can control the minds of all of the species on board this ship."
"So they are like puppets on a string," James said.
Starman answered, "Not really. We just compel them to do what we want."
"Oh, that sounds a whole lot better," James said with a frown.
Knowing that the discussion was not going well, Starman said, "We can't help it. We think it and they do it. We don't even have to consciously think it."
"So you are trying to tell me that it is some sort of reflex," James said. He wasn't sure if he liked the idea of enslaving others through a reflexive action. It sounded a little better than doing it intentionally.
"Yes. That's a good way to put it," Starman said.
"How do the... ," James started to ask. He found he was searching for a word to use for the aliens aboard the ship. He asked, "How do the critters you control feel about it?"
"I don't know," Captain Beac answered rather stunned by the question. It had never occurred to him to even ask.
"I'd like to talk to a couple of the critters on board this ship," James said. He knew that it wouldn't do much good, but he had to try to find out something. He frowned and added, "Of course, you could compel them to tell me whatever you wanted me to hear."
Starman turned to Captain Beac and said, 'He won't believe anything he hears.'
'I know, ' Captain Beac said.
'Their space station is too far away for us to exert any control, ' Starman said.
'Will he believe that?' Captain Beac asked.
'Yes, ' Starman answered.
Captain Beac wondered what one of the servants would tell James if given a chance to speak its mind. Looking up at James, he was once again reminded of just how large the beasts were. He said, "I need to think of a solution to this problem."
"Think away, but it had better be a good one," James said. The last thing he wanted to report to the people of Earth was that the Quatyl were a bunch of mind control slavers.
Wishing he was five thousand cronons younger, Captain Beac moved over to the door. The Andicor outside opened the door before he reached it. Captain Beac realized he hadn't even thought about it. The Andicor had just acted as soon as he thought about having the door opened. Depressed, he headed off to his safety pod to discuss the matter with the other Quatyl.
There were a few things that were bothering Starman. He looked up at James and asked, "Why did you require Captain Beac to tell you about our ability to control minds? You could have forced me to tell you that."
James smiled. He reached down and picked up Starman. He cradled the Quatyl in his arm. Running a hand down his pet's back, James answered, "There are some things that you just don't do to a pet."
Starman was too busy purring to come up with a reply. He'd been afraid that James would never stroke him like that again. He had hated the idea of losing his pet.
The seven mystery ships came to a halt one light second distance from the lone Quatyl ship. Even as the Quatyl ship tried to establish contact with the strange craft, the ship in the center of the formation opened fire upon it. Three shots later, the Quatyl ship was no more.
Captain Klein had watched the attack on the monitor at the front of the bridge. It took a second for him to realize what he had seen. One second there were eight ships sitting out there and then the next second there were only seven. Frowning, he said, "Sound battle stations. Have them load the nukes."
Ann hit the alarm and got on the intercom to the weapons storage area. Everyone was running around like mad. The Quatyl in the playroom didn't know what had happened, but they recognized the alarm. Most of them wondered if the beasts had declared war on the Quatyl.
Ken was at the sensor control panel thinking that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Turning to look at Ann, he said, "Tell Kim to arm our fighters with the nukes."
Ann waved at him and started typing at the keyboard. Captain Klein turned to the navigator and said, "I want to talk to Captain Beac. Go get Siegfried and bring one of those giant slugs up here with you."
The navigator fled towards the Quatyl playroom to fetch Siegfried and a Slathern. He was upset that a whole ship of Quatyl had been destroyed. From what he had been able to see, the Quatyl had done nothing to deserve such destruction.
James was crouched on the bridge of the Quatyl ship watching the feed as the other ship was destroyed. When the torpedoes had been launched, everyone on the bridge was stunned. There had been no warning of any kind. When the feed cut off, no one moved. Unconscious of what he was doing, Captain Beac was slowly moving back towards his safety pod.
In a very tight voice, James said, "That was not very friendly."
Starman looked up at James and then used the Slathern to announce, 'Uh oh, they're in trouble now.'
The comment caused Captain Beac to ask, 'Who is in trouble now?'
'The aliens, ' Starman answered.
'Why do you say that?' Captain Beac asked. As far as he could tell, the Quatyl were in trouble.
'I've never seen James this angry, ' Starman answered. Familiar with how humans reacted to unprovoked attacks, he had a feeling that the pets were preparing for war on board the Earth ship.
Looking at James, Captain Beac couldn't see any signs that the beast was angry. He said, 'Are you sure?'
'Very sure, ' Starman answered. He looked up at James worried that his pet hadn't said anything. The longer James went without making a joke, the worse it was. He added, 'I've never seen him this angry.'
Turning to look at Captain Beac, James asked, "Why haven't you sounded battle stations?"
"Quatyl don't have battle stations," Starman answered. There was no way to communicate the concept of battle stations in Quatyl.
James looked down at Starman and asked, "Do you mean to tell me that those Bastards destroyed an unarmed ship?"
"Yes. All Quatyl ships are unarmed," Starman answered. "All Quatyl ships are scout ships."
James folded his arms and, tight lipped, said, "You better tell Captain Klein that."
Starman looked at James and shivered. James was even angrier now. He turned to Captain Beac and said, 'I think that the species in charge of those ships is about to become extinct.'
Lazlo Zalezac