Dan, Alison, Ann, and Sally walked up the driveway to Tom's parent's house. In what Dan had accepted as typical behavior for Tom's parents, the house was over decorated for the holidays. They stopped to watch the little train make a trip around the front yard. Alison asked, "Where did he get that?"
"I have no idea," Dan answered as the train approached. The little engine was emitting little puffs of smoke as it chugged along. The engine was pulling a little car filled with presents that included a little bicycle with a bow. Santa was standing on the back of the caboose waving.
Giggling at the sight, Ann said, "I like it."
"Same here," Sally said.
Tom opened the front door and called out, "Come on in. The eggnog is ready."
The foursome trooped up to the house and holiday greetings were exchanged. Tom's family was gathered in the main room singing Christmas Carols. Once the coats had been hung and everyone held a full cup of eggnog, Tom raised his cup and said, "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas," Dan said in return.
"This is the life, isn't it?" Tom asked looking around at the crowd. Amanda's parents, Diana, Coder, Amanda, Terry, and a bunch of his relatives were packed into the room singing songs. Even Dan's parents had come over this year. He had been surprised to see that Alison's parents had come for some reason.
"Yes, it is," Dan said looking over at Tom, "There's nothing like celebrating the holidays while surrounded by family."
"You can say that again," Tom said.
Alison looked around the room with a smile. She was pleased to see that Dan's whole family was present. She saw her mother and winked at her. When Dan was about to repeat what he had just said, she nudged him in the side and said, "Don't say it."
Pretending to sulk, Dan said, "Family is everything."
"That's right," Sally said laughing at the expression on Dan's face.
Ann pointed across the room and said, "Alison, your parents are here."
"I know. I'm glad they could make it," Alison said.
Sally said, "They wouldn't have missed this for anything."
"Missed what?" Dan asked.
"Never mind," Sally said.
Although Terry had told him that the office party was pretty lame, Tom asked, "So how was the office party?"
"Nowhere near as nice as this one," Dan answered. It had been people walking around with a single drink, eating appetizers, and engaging in polite banter about topics as controversial as the weather. It seemed to him that once everyone had agreed that the weather was warm for that time of year that they ran out of topics to discuss.
"Terry said it was a typical corporate party," Tom said.
"I know. Last year it was much better," Dan said shrugging his shoulders. The individual pizzerias did a much better job of celebrating the holidays and he had enjoyed himself at several of them. He said, "Next year I'm going to insist on pizza and root beer. I'll also make it known that dress is to be blue jeans and Parker's Perfect Pizza tee-shirts."
"That's a good idea," Tom said.
Sally said, "You should have seen the party at school. Now that was miserable. Everyone went in the department library and sat around the conference table eating. For the most part they talked department business. It was more like a department meeting than a party. People didn't even wish each other Merry Christmas, it was all Happy Holidays. No one wanted to say anything that might be mildly offensive."
"We didn't even bother to go to the parties at school," Tom said. One of the older chemistry professors had told him that when he had first joined the faculty that the holiday parties were really wild. They'd make their own beverages in the lab and no one left sober. He had mentioned that more than one young coed had earned an A during those parties. He knew that kind of behavior was wrong, but Tom wondered if something important had been lost in the process of eliminating that wrong.
Diana came over to Dan and said, "Try the double strength eggnog. It is very good."
Laughing, Dan said, "Every year you give me that same advice."
"Yes, but your Alison just ignored me this year. Can you believe that she went with decaf?" Diana said shaking her head. She rubbed the tip of her nose and said, "Such a waste."
Dan laughed and asked, "Still feeling your nose?"
"Alas, I am," Diana said with a wink.
Coder came over to where Diana was standing and asked, "Diana, which one of us is the designated driver?"
"Oops, I am," Diana said looking down at her cup with a frown.
"I'm sure that we can afford a taxi tonight," Coder said.
Diana grinned and said, "You're too good to me."
Dan turned to Coder and said, "How are you doing, Coder?"
"I'm doing most excellent. You see, this evening Diana has agreed to marry me," Coder said winking at Dan.
Surprised to learn that she was engaged, Diana turned to Coder and asked, "I did?"
"Sure, don't you remember?" Coder asked looking hurt.
Diana looked down at her cup of eggnog for a second. She said, "No. I don't and I'm pretty sure I'd remember something like that even after this much eggnog."
Coder shook his head and said, "I got down on bended knee and really made a production out of the whole proposal. There was a ring and everything."
Diana touched her nose thinking that she wasn't that drunk. She didn't notice that everyone had gathered around behind her. Embarrassed, she said, "I don't remember."
"You'll marry me won't you?" Coder asked holding out a ring.
"Of course," she answered. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized that this was the grand proposal.
Coder raised a fist in the air and shouted, "Hey everyone, Diana has just agreed to marry me!"
"Hey, that's great!"
Diana stood there for a moment and then shouted, "You ... You ... I was going crazy there."
Coder burst out laughing and said, "I love you."
Diana jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck. He held her off the floor with ease as she kissed him. He might have been a lumpy kind of guy, but that didn't make him weak. She said, "I love you."
Watching the young couple kiss, Ann said, "That's so sweet."
"You better do a better job of proposing to us than that buster," Sally said nudging Dan with an elbow.
"Oh," Dan said with a deer caught in the headlight look on his face.
Nodding her head, Alison said, "We're expecting a real big production when you ask us to marry you."
"A band," Ann said.
"No, an orchestra," Sally corrected.
"Right, you'll have an orchestra playing in the background," Ann said.
Alison said, "We expect a gourmet dinner and champagne before the proposal. You're going to have to wear a Tuxedo."
"Don't forget the garden," Ann said, "We have to be in a garden surrounded by flowers."
"That's right. There should be singing birds, too. We want the whole works," Sally said nodding her head.
Dan leaned over to Tom and whispered, "This doesn't look good."
"Why?" Tom asked surprised by Dan's reaction.
Dan looked around for a second and, in a whisper, answered, "I kind of ... Well, I sort of ... I thought I was already married to them."
Before a stunned Tom had a chance to follow up on that little pronouncement, Sally said, "Speaking of getting married, weren't you going to give Dan his Christmas present tonight, Alison?"
Dan looked over at Alison wondering why she would give him her present tonight rather than Christmas morning. He glanced over at Ann and Sally finding that they were smiling broadly. It was clear to him that they knew exactly what Alison was giving him for Christmas and, judging by the expressions on their faces, it was a pretty good present.
Bowing slightly to Ann and Sally, Alison said, "Thanks for reminding me. In fact, this looks like the perfect time for me to give Dan his present."
It seemed to Dan that everyone edged closer around. It was like they knew something that he didn't. He asked, "It is?"
"Yes, it is," she answered. She took a sip of her decaf eggnog and looked around. When she was sure that everyone was looking at her, she said, "I'm pregnant!"
It was the middle of the afternoon on one of those slow days between Christmas and New Years. Tom and Dan were out at the lake where they could talk. It was cold, but there wasn't much of a wind. Tom looked over at Dan and asked, "How does it feel to be a father to be?"
"Amazing," Dan answered. He and Alison had been trying to conceive ever since July. Every month they had been disappointed to learn that she wasn't pregnant. Now that it was a reality, he didn't know what to do. He said, "I've never been this excited about anything in my entire life. I see my personal definition of happiness coming closer every day."
"Do you know if it is a girl or a boy?" Tom asked.
"Not yet," Dan answered.
There was one thing that had been bothering Tom since the party at his parent's house. He asked, "What were you talking about on Christmas Eve when you said that you thought you were married?"
"I thought I was already married to them," Dan said. The whole discussion about him proposing to them had taken him by surprise.
Tom shook his head and asked, "How is it possible that you thought you were married and they don't know it?"
"I don't know," Dan said staring out at the lake water. He raised his hands and said, "I was really surprised when they started that whole discussion."
Shocked at how wrong Dan had been, Tom figured that it was going to be up to him to get to the bottom of the matter. He asked, "When did you think you got married?"
"You know no one is exempt from death. Well, I figured last year that it was time to give all three women the kind of legal and economic rights that they would get in marrying me. We sat around the house and filled out the paperwork. I toasted our signing of the contracts and we all went out to dinner," Dan said. He frowned trying to understand why the women hadn't realized the significance of that day.
"What did you use to toast the signing of the contracts?" Tom asked.
"Wine," Dan answered.
"What kind?"
"The white kind that comes in the dark green bottles," Dan answered. It came from Germany.
"Maybe you should have used root beer," Tom said with a laugh.
"You might be right," Dan said. He figured that the wine should have been seen as something special.
"What did you say in the toast?" Tom asked shaking his head in dismay.
"Here's to us," Dan answered.
Tom stared at Dan unable to believe how dense his friend was acting. For someone who was almost supernatural in how well he understood people, Dan had really blown this one. Finally Tom said, "That's real romantic."
"Not really," Dan said. He looked over at Tom and then shook his head as he thought about his answer. He said, "Oh, I get it."
"You are so lucky that the women in your life have low expectations in terms of dealing with you," Tom said with a grin.
"Well, I think this is a secret best kept from them," Dan said. He'd never live it down if they found out.
"You think?" Tom said with a grin.
At least they had told him what they expected in terms of the proposal. Sighing, Dan said, "I guess I had better find a garden, flowers, birds, an orchestra, a gourmet chef, a tuxedo, and some rings before Alison gives birth."
"I think you had better do it sooner than that. You're going to have to have the wedding ceremony before she gives birth," Tom said with a laugh.
Shaking his head, Dan said, "I didn't think about that."
"When you blow it, you really blow it," Tom said laughing.
"What about you?" Dan asked looking over at Tom.
"What about me?" Tom asked afraid that he knew exactly what Dan was asking.
Dan asked, "Are you going to marry Amanda and Terry?"
"That's a tough question," Tom answered shifting nervously on the picnic table. He'd marry Amanda in a minute, but Terry was a big question mark.
"I know, that's why I asked it," Dan said with a smile.
"I don't know. We're still in college. We will probably be there for the next four or five years," Tom said.
"I guess I can see the value of waiting, but it isn't necessary. There's no reason that you can't get started on a family while going to school. Terry is making enough to support all three of you," Dan said.
Thinking about living off Terry's wages was rather an unpleasant thought. In a way, Tom was an old fashioned kind of guy. He felt that he should be the one supporting the family. He frowned and said, "I know. I just don't feel right about it."
"You need to revisit your definition of happiness," Dan said.
"Why?"
Dan answered, "I don't think it has anything in it about you being the only breadwinner in the family."
"You're right," Tom said with a sigh.
Alison said, "I think we went a little too far."
"What do you mean?" Sally asked.
"Where is Dan supposed to find a garden filled with flowers and singing birds at this time of year?" Alison asked.
Sally blushed and said, "I did get carried away with the birds singing."
"Same with the flowers, although I do want a garden," Ann said.
Alison laughed and said, "Did you see the look on his face?"
"It was priceless," Ann said laughing.
Sally asked, "When do you think he'll get it together?"
"I don't know," Ann said.
"I'm going back to school in two weeks," Sally said.
Ann said, "That's not much time."
Alison shook her head and said, "I can't believe that he thought we were married."
"It was that day we signed the papers. In a way, he's right. As far as the law is concerned, we are married. We have all of the rights of wives," Sally said. They had sat around the table filling out wills, power of attorneys, and insurance papers. The toast with wine was very unusual.
"His heart was in the right place," Ann said shrugging her shoulders, "He wanted to make sure that we were taken care of in case anything happened to him."
"I know, but that wasn't very romantic," Alison said. The three women looked at each other and burst out laughing. Alison said, "Remember, we don't say a word to him."
Dan walked through the mall watching people walking around. He thought that malls were interesting places. Some people rushed from store to store looking for some specific item. Other people moved lazily along looking in the windows casually passing the time. He spotted the store he was seeking and headed towards it.
He stopped outside the store and looked in. There was no one in the store except for Betty and one other employee. Betty was leaning against the counter looking bored. He was struck by how old Betty looked. She had aged a decade over the past two years. Taking a deep breath, he went into the coat store and headed towards the counter.
Betty looked over at him and straightened up. She came out from behind the counter and hugged him. Happy to see him, she said, "Hello, Dan."
"Hello, Betty," Dan replied. He looked around the store and said, "You don't look too busy."
"The after Christmas sales are over and business is kind of slow," Betty answered with a shrug of her shoulders. It didn't matter to her. She showed up, did her work, and collected her paycheck.
The other woman in the store looked at over Betty and said, "You're not being paid to talk to your friends. See them on your own time."
Betty bristled and replied, "Give it a rest. You see how many customers we have in the store."
"I'm warning you," the woman said pointing a finger at Betty.
Uncomfortable with the scene, Dan said, "I could talk to you at another time."
"Don't worry about her; she's just being a jerk," Betty replied turning her back to the woman. She hugged him again and said, "It is so good to see you. How are you doing?"
"I'm doing fine. I was in the area and thought I'd come in to see how you were doing," Dan answered.
"I'm doing okay," Betty said. She hated this job, but it paid the bills. It had been a lot better under the previous manager. He had allowed her a chance to recover, but the new manager was a total bitch.
The woman came over and shouted, "What did I say about talking to your friends while you're at work?"
Dan looked over at the woman with a frown. He had seen what Betty had been doing before he had entered the store. There weren't any customers that required Betty's attention. The woman was really beginning to irritate Dan.
Betty knew that her manager had a problem with the fact that she was a lesbian. It didn't matter that Betty hadn't seen anyone since Pat had died. Just the idea that Betty was a lesbian was enough to disgust the woman. She couldn't fire Betty for being a lesbian and was just looking for the smallest excuse to get rid of her. Tired of being harassed by the woman, Betty said, "I think you said something about wanting to be a bitch and making my life miserable."
"Don't give me any of your attitude; I'll fire you and then where will you be?" the woman replied.
'I'll be at home staring at the walls rather than standing around here staring at the walls, ' Betty thought. She answered, "I can find another job."
Looking at the spiky hair and the leather outfit that Betty wore, the woman asked, "Where?"
"There are a lot of places that I could work," Betty answered looking down at the woman like she was pond scum.
"Betty, why don't you come work for me? I'm opening up three more locations and can use a manager," Dan said.
Betty knew that she'd have to wear blue jeans and the Parker's Perfect Pizza tee-shirt if she took him up on his job offer. At the moment, that didn't seem too unreasonable. She looked at the manager of the store and said, "Sure. I'll do it."
The manager looked at Dan and then at Betty. She frowned and said, "You'll hire her?"
"I just did," Dan answered with a smile. It felt good to keep his promise to Pat.
"She's a lesbian," the woman said pointing a finger at Betty. It didn't dawn on her that if Dan was a friend of Betty's then he probably already knew that.
"Really? Gosh, I didn't know that. Maybe I better offer her more money," Dan said looking over at Betty.
Betty laughed at the expression on her manager's face. Turning to Dan, she winked and said, "I think that would be fair."
"You can't be serious," the woman said sputtering.
Dan turned to the woman and said, "Let me tell something. You don't have to like the people who work for you, but you do need to learn how to treat your employees with a little respect. With a few subtle words, your employees can kill thousands of dollars in sales every month. A little whispered hint that the coat makes the customer look fat and that sale is gone. You can't do enough to sell that coat once the customer believes it makes them look bad. A frown here and a discouraging word there and you're out of business before you know it.
"An enthusiastic employee can increase your sales by thousands of dollars every month. A little reminder to buy the leather cleaner as they head up to the register means an extra five dollars. The suggestion to buy a matching purse adds an extra fifty. A happy customer tells their friends and you get an extra sale.
"In business, a person's private life means nothing as long as it doesn't impact their job performance. Your employees come to work, they do their jobs, and they go home. If they do their job well, you treat them well. What they do at home is irrelevant to work so long as it doesn't follow them to work."
"But..."
Dan turned to Betty and said, "Come on, Betty. Let me buy you a cup of coffee and we can talk about your new job."
"Excellent," Betty said with a smile. She turned her to former manager and said, "Oh, by the way. I quit."
"Good," the woman said. It wasn't nearly as satisfying as she had imagined.
As Dan and Betty left the store, Dan said, "Would you like to help me pick out some engagement rings?"
"You are marrying those three women of yours?" Betty asked.
"Yes," Dan answered.
"It is about time," Betty said.
The woman was left in the store staring at the pair as they made their way to the food court.
Lazlo Zalezac