It was four o'clock in the afternoon, three weeks after New Years, and Dan was wandering through a rather large apartment complex. Winter was making its presence felt with thirty degree temperatures and twenty mile an hour winds. Shivering from the cold, Dan looked down at the scrap of paper with the apartment number on it. He spotted the number and headed over to it. A gust of wind slammed around a corner and nearly froze him where he stood. There wasn't a coat warm enough to protect him from the wind.
With Tom and Alison both back at school, he didn't have much to do to occupy his spare time other than plan for the pizzeria. Without giving him a reason for the invitation, Sue had invited him to her apartment. He had accepted the invitation on the assumption that it was to discuss the artwork for his pizzeria. Dan knocked on the door of Sue's apartment.
It seemed like forever before Sue answered the door. Looking nervous, she said, "Come in."
Dan entered the warm apartment. Still shivering from the cold, he said, "It is freezing out there."
"Yes. I hate January," Sue said looking everywhere except at Dan. She closed the door and locked it. Once that was done, she stepped as far from Dan as was possible in the little hallway.
Rather than press her, Dan took off his coat and looked around. He couldn't see much of the apartment from the doorway. Dan said, "I know what you mean. January is a cold month. It seems to drag on forever."
Sue glanced over at the closed door wondering if she should have left it unlocked. It was her habit to lock it, but that was to keep the bad people out. Biting her lower lip, she said, "Come on into the main room."
Dan followed Sue into the main room and stopped. He turned around looking at all of the paintings on the walls. Every painting was of the same woman. Most of the paintings were nudes. Dan stepped over to one of the larger paintings and studied the features of the oriental woman. The expression on her face was familiar, but he couldn't place it. He glanced over at Sue and saw that she was watching him nervously. He said, "She is a friend of yours."
"She was," Sue answered. There was a haunting sadness in her voice.
"She's a pretty woman," Dan said. He moved over to another picture and studied it for a minute. He said, "You painted all of these."
"Yes," Sue answered stepping away from him a little. She wasn't emotionally prepared to discuss the paintings.
"They are very good," Dan said. He wasn't a good judge of art, but he recognized great art when he saw it and he knew that he was looking at paintings that belonged in a museum. He said, "I like them."
"Thank you," Sue said glancing back over at the partially closed door to her bedroom.
Dan finally figured out the expression on the model's face. He said, "You were lovers with her."
Sue let out a strangled cry and, without thinking of the consequences of her words, said, "Yes."
Wondering if he should ask, he said, "What happened?"
"Her father killed her when he found out that she liked women," Sue answered staring down at the floor trying to hold back the tears.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Dan said. He held out his arms for her, but she didn't move to him. When he edged closer, she backed away. He dropped his hands and increased the distance between them. In a soft voice, he said, "You must have loved her a lot."
"She was my life," Sue answered relaxing a little when he had stepped back. Realizing what she had admitted, Sue asked, "You're not going to tell anyone are you?"
"No, I wouldn't do that," Dan said. He could tell that his words didn't reassure her at all. He moved to stand in front of another picture. This had the same woman posed in a diaphanous gown. Looking over at Sue, he asked, "What is the story behind this picture?"
"I was always kidding her about being my muse. She bought that outfit so she would look the part," Sue answered. Her lower lip trembled when she thought back to that day and the fun they had playing artist and muse.
"She sounds like a wonderful person," Dan said. He moved over to another painting and examined it making sure that he didn't spook Sue by his movement. The woman in the painting was looking over her shoulder back at the artist. He said, "I think I like this one the best."
"Why?" Sue asked hardly able to breath.
"It displays a certain shyness to her that isn't present in the others. It makes me think of two lovers being together for the first time. You don't see one of the lovers in the picture, but you know her lover is present," Dan said.
It was too much for Sue and she ran from the room crying. He hit the side of his head with the palm of his hand and said, "Dan, you stupid oaf. You keep making her cry."
He was startled when a gravelly voice behind him said, "You described the circumstances of that picture perfectly."
Dan turned and found he was facing a very large woman. His first impression was that she was fat, but he realized that there was a lot of muscle on her. Her head was shaved bald. She had a single very solid looking hoop earring in one ear. She was wearing construction boots, blue jeans, and a sweat shirt. There was a large tattoo on her arm with most of it covered by the sleeve. Everything about the way she looked and stood screamed that she was a lesbian. He said, "I didn't mean to upset Sue. Would you check on her?"
The woman studied Dan for a second. For months she had been hearing about him from Sue. Sue was terrified of being alone with men and the fact that she had warmed to Dan was significant. The rather large woman had been impressed with how he had backed away when Sue started becoming uncomfortable. She said, "You are Dan Parker."
"I am."
"I'm Pat."
"Nice to meet you, Pat," Dan said noticing that she hadn't given him her last name. He looked at her and then at the bedroom where Sue had disappeared. Worried about her, he asked, "If you are her partner, shouldn't you be taking care of her?"
Pat laughed at the suggestion that Sue was her lover and said, "Sue? With me? You've got to be kidding. I'm way too butch for her."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry," Dan said.
"Thanks okay. You and I have to talk," Pat said walking over to where Dan stood. She took him by the arm and led him over to the table. She pointed to a chair and said, "Sit."
"Yes, ma'am," Dan said earning a smirk from Pat. She didn't realize that it was his normal politeness at play rather than intimidation.
Pat sat down across the table from Dan and crossed her arms. He could see that part of the tattoo had the word, 'Betty, ' in it. The tattoo looked relatively new, so he assumed that Betty was the name of her partner. She noticed where he was looking and said, "Betty is my partner."
"I thought so," Dan said.
After taking a deep breath, Pat said, "The story of Sue and Annie is a legend within the lesbian community. From the moment they first laid eyes on each other, everyone knew that they were destined to be together. Those of us who were present could see the magic between the two of them. For almost a year, they were inseparable.
"They did everything together. Annie posed and Sue painted. They couldn't keep their hands off of each other. It was real touching the way that they were always giving each other reassuring caresses. They didn't even have to talk to know what the other was thinking. I was jealous that any two women could be that much in love.
"One day, Annie's father caught them kissing outside of my bar. There was a huge fight and it got ugly real quick. Annie shouted at her father that she loved Sue and wanted to spend the rest of her life with her. Her father got this cold hard look in his eye and said he could arrange that. He walked away and everyone that was the end of it. It wasn't. Five minutes later, he came back with a baseball bat and beat Annie to death right there on the street.
"Poor Sue was beside herself. She was hitting him and trying everything she could to stop him, but she's just a little slip of girl. He was a big brute. We think that all Orientals are small people, but even I wouldn't want to go up against this guy. Sue threw herself over Annie to protect her, but he pulled her off and kept hitting Annie.
"I was too late to keep him from killing Annie, but I was able to prevent him from hurting Sue. I knocked him on his ass with a Taser. Betty fucked him up pretty good once he was down. Everyone in the bar was just stunned. It seemed like everyone was standing around staring at the bloody body of Annie. I'll never forget the sight of Sue, covered in blood, holding her lover. I think something died in all of us that day."
"Poor Sue," Dan said wiping his eyes to remove the moisture that had gathered there. He didn't even know what to say. Shaking his head to get the images conjured up by her words out of his mind, he asked, "How do you survive something like that?"
"She tried to commit suicide, but we caught her in time. For the past five years, she's just been walking through life alone. It wasn't until you showed up that I ever saw her smile," Pat said studying Dan as if he was an interesting life form. She had forced Sue to allow her to come over and watch Dan just in case Sue had been wrong about him and he wasn't quite as nice a man as she had thought. She was glad to see that Sue had been right about him being a nice guy.
Dan looked at the door and said, "I don't understand. It seems to me that I make her cry more often than I make her smile. I don't mean to make her cry."
Pat laughed at his comment. She said, "There are times when I'm glad that I'm a lesbian. You men are just clueless."
"Did she ask me over so that you could tell me this?" Dan asked.
Pat shook her head. She answered, "No, I told you that because you had already guessed some of it and she had told you most of it. The reason she asked you over was because the women at work have been after her to be intimate with you. She didn't know how to refuse without letting them know that she wasn't interested in men."
"I understand. I'll let them know to stop pressuring her," Dan said knowing that this was probably a consequence of Alison's visit to the diner.
"Don't do that. She would rather pretend that you two are an item," Pat said.
This time it was Dan's turn to look at Pat like she was the clueless one. He asked, "How long do you think I could convince someone of that?"
"You're right. They'd see through it in ten seconds," Pat said slumping back in her chair.
Dan said, "How about we tell them the truth?"
"That's the last thing that she wants," Pat said glaring at Dan.
"We let them know that I came here and the spark just wasn't there. We remain close friends, but that is all," Dan said ignoring Pat's comment.
"If you were a woman, I'd kiss you," Pat said looking over at him with wonder.
Dan slowly rose from his chair while smiling at her. Trying to lighten the mood, he said, "If I was a woman, I'm not sure how I'd react to that."
Pat slapped her thigh and burst out laughing. She had a laugh that was a rough as sandpaper. She said, "I like you."
Looking over at the bedroom door, Dan said, "Go take care of Sue. I think she needs your help a lot more than mine. Let her know that everything will be okay. I can see my way out of here."
"Alright," Pat said. Although it would break a long established rule, she said, "If you're ever at the corner of Third and Oak stop in my place. I'll buy you a drink."
"Thanks." Dan paused on the way out and looked at one of the paintings. He said, "She was a beautiful woman. It's easy to see why Sue fell in love with her."
"Yes," Pat said watching Dan as he left. She looked towards the bedroom and sighed at the thought of dealing with an emotional woman.
Looking much more composed than when she went into the bedroom; Sue came out as soon as Dan had left the apartment. Sue said, "He's going to open a pizzeria. He wants to call his place Parker's Perfect Pizza. I'm doing the artwork for it."
Surprised to hear that Sue was drawing again, Pat looked over at her. She asked, "You're doing the artwork?"
Sue went over to a table and held up a sketchbook. She opened it to a page near the middle. Talking as if she hadn't heard Pat's question, she said, "This is the picture I've been working on. I've never tried to do commercial art like this. I'm finding it rather challenging."
Pat looked at the picture not knowing what to expect. The very last thing she expected was to see such a happy picture. She said, "It looks like they are having a party."
"Yes. I can't get the expressions of the two people fighting over the last slice of pizza just right. Dan wanted it to be a friendly contest, but I'm finding that a little difficult," Sue said. She frowned as she studied the picture. The broad thick lines of commercial art did not allow the subtle portrayal of emotion such as could be obtained with oils.
Pat found that she wanted to cry, but kept a happy face for Sue. She said, "You might have one looking like he was going to trick the other into looking in the other direction."
Looking down at the piece of paper, Sue said, "That would work. Thank you, Pat."
"It's good to see you drawing again," Pat said. There was a lump in her throat.
"He's really working hard to open a pizzeria. I just wanted to help," Sue said sitting down in one of the chairs.
Pat asked, "Why him?"
"He's a nice guy," Sue answered unsure why she cared about him. She said, "You heard what he said about the spark not being there. Sometimes the spark isn't there and people will accept that answer. I believe that he'll protect me."
"You were listening?" Pat asked.
"Yes."
The sun had set while Dan sat on the picnic table staring out at the dark waters of the lake. The frigid wind whipped up the waves and chilled his body. The wind was nothing in comparison to the cold empty feeling that had settled in his soul upon hearing Sue's story. He felt like he had found a great big gaping hole in the facts of life.
As another blast of cold air sent chills through his body, he said, "We are responsible for our own happiness. How in the hell are we supposed to be happy when some sick fuck beats the person you love to death?"
He had been wrestling with that question for a long time. He couldn't imagine living after experiencing something so horrific. Shaking his head, he said, "It is not fair."
It took him a couple of minutes to realize what he had said. He snorted and said, "Life is not fair. Just because we are responsible for our happiness doesn't mean that we are guaranteed happiness. When life knocks us on our ass, we have to get up and find what happiness we can. It means that we can't blame anyone else for our unhappiness if we continue to wallow in our misery. That's what it means."
Dan got up and went over to his car. He was freezing cold and shivering uncontrollably. He got into his car and started the engine. He continued to shiver uncontrollably while the car warmed up. He huddled in front of the heater vent trying to draw as much warmth as he could. It was just barely enough to get his teeth to stop chattering.
Still shaking, he drove home. It was late when he arrived home and he headed straight for the shower. Stepping under the water it felt as if he was being stuck with thousands of little pins. It wasn't until he had been under the shower for ten minutes that he began to feel warm. He dried off and went to his bedroom to change into his work clothes. Glancing at the clock, he realized that he didn't even have enough time to stop and get a burger on the way to work.
Still feeling cold, Dan pulled into the parking lot of the diner a few minutes before he was to begin his shift. He raced in and put on his over shirt. As he was getting ready, Sandy stopped by and asked, "How was your visit with Sue this afternoon?"
"It was nice. We talked a little and I learned a lot about her. It would have been nice if there had been more to my visit, but the spark just wasn't there," Dan said. He looked up to see the disappointment on Sandy's face. Smiling, he said, "She's an amazing woman and I'm fortunate to be able to call her a friend."
"That's a shame. She's a pretty woman," Sandy said.
"Yes she is," Dan said just before a cold chill washed through his body. He shivered and wondered if he would ever feel warm.
Sandy looked at Dan noticing how he had suddenly turned pale. She said, "You don't look very well. Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm fine," Dan answered, "I better go out there, check the bathrooms, clear the tables, and empty the dirty dish bins before Rob gets upset at me."
Sandy watched him leave the backroom with a worried expression on her face. She knocked on the door to Rob's office and said, "Dan doesn't look too good. You might want to keep an eye on him."
As the evening wore on, Dan's feet felt heavier and heavier. He slowed down as he fought to maintain his concentration. Several times he found that he had just come to a stop and was staring off into space. His heart was beating erratically. At one point in the evening, he ran into door frame and nearly dropped the tub filled with dirty dishes that he was carrying. Shaking himself, he glanced at the clock and was shocked to find that only two hours had passed since he had arrived at work.
He went back to work clearing tables. It seemed to him that the restaurant was busier than usual. The waitresses kept asking him if he was okay. He'd brush off their concerns with a simple, "I'm fine."
It was nearly two in the morning when Rob called Dan over. He had watched Dan struggle through the evening expecting that at any minute he'd come and ask to go home. As time had gone by, he realized that Dan wouldn't do it. He decided to send Dan to the back to get a little rest before sending him home. When Dan made his way to where Rob was standing, Rob said, "Go sit at the break table for a bit and get a little rest."
"Yes, sir," Dan said. He walked into the backroom and sat at the break table waiting for Rob to arrive. He laid his head down on the table and closed his eyes.
Rob went in the back and found Dan sleeping at the table. Frowning he considered what to do. One of his options was to call the emergency contact number that Dan had provided on his job application. He knew that a call at that time of night would cause a great deal of panic. He decided to wait until things slowed down and then he'd drive him home.
Sue went in the back and after taking one look at Dan saw he wasn't feeling well. Biting her lower lip, she came to a decision and slipped out the back door with her purse. After making a call on her cell phone, she went back in the restaurant. She stopped by where Rob was standing and said, "Dan isn't feeling well. I called a neighbor of mine who gets off work now to come by here and pick up Dan. She'll take him home and make sure that he's okay. He shouldn't drive."
"I was just waiting for it to slow down a little before driving him home," Rob said looking over at Sue. The bar crowd continued to stagger in despite the late hour.
"Don't worry. My friend will take care of him," Sue said.
Normally, the staff didn't react when unusual characters entered the diner. After working the night shift for a couple months, it was hard to surprise them. Customers came in all shapes and sizes. Every possible fashion statement had made its appearance in the diner and that was especially true for the night shift. From time to time, they had men come in wearing panties, corsets, hose, and high heels. Once, a very drunk woman come in wearing a wedding gown complete with a veil.
No one took much notice when a very large bald biker chick entered the restaurant holding hands with a tall blond woman sporting a buzz cut. Rob did notice when the pair immediately headed for the back room. He managed to intercept them before they reached the door to the back room and asked, "Where do you think you are going?"
"We're here to pick up Dan," Pat said looking Rob square in the eye.
"Oh, you're Sue's neighbor?" he asked stepping back a little. Her gravely voice grated on his nerves.
"That's right," Pat said.
Sue came over and said, "Hello, Pat. Hi, Betty."
Rob led the couple into the back to where Dan was asleep. He said, "I was about to take him home."
"Don't worry. We'll take real good care of him," Pat said. She leaned over and shook Dan.
Dan woke up and looked at Pat. It took a second for him to focus his eyes. Surprised to see Sue's friend there, he said, "Hello, Pat. What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to take you home. You aren't feeling well," Pat said. She touched his forehead and was shocked by how cold he felt to the touch.
Hearing that Dan knew the woman, Rob felt a lot better about letting her take care of him. Dan shook his head in an attempt to clear the fog that had settled in it and said, "That's okay. I've still got my shift to finish."
"The boss man is sending you home," Betty said thinking to herself that he didn't look like much. She wondered why Pat and Sue had done nothing except talk about him until it had been time to go open the bar.
Dan looked at Betty and asked, "Are you with her?"
"Yes, I am," she answered.
"You must be Betty," Dan said as his vision went double on him. He wondered why there were two of her all of a sudden.
"I am."
"I'm pleased to meet you," Dan said.
Sue stood to the side biting the knuckle of her forefinger and watching as the pair of women wrestled him to his feet. It was a minor struggle for him to slip into his coat. With one on each side of him they led him to their pickup truck. Sue called out, "Take good care of him."
"We will, honey," Pat called back.
A quick search of his pants revealed his wallet. Once glance at the driver's license and they knew where he lived. Betty held him up as Pat drove off. Worried, she said, "He's cold."
"I'll stay at his house with him until he wakes up," Pat said.
Surprised that Pat was suddenly acting maternal, Betty said, "You must really like him."
"I do. Don't ask me why, because I couldn't explain it," Pat said glancing over at him and then at her lover. Seeing the look of surprise on Betty's face, she said, "Because of him, Sue is drawing again."
"Sue's drawing again?" Betty said surprised to hear that little bit of news. There were a lot of people who would be interested in hearing that.
"Yeah, but don't tell anyone. All she's done is the artwork for a pizzeria," Pat said.
In a soft voice, Betty said, "She's drawing again. I never thought she would do that again."
With a little ineffectual help from Dan, Pat managed to get him to his bedroom and in bed without waking up the household. Once he was on the bed, she pulled off his clothes pointedly ignoring the sexy bits. After tucking him into bed, she sat back at his desk chair and looked around the room. The poster with the facts of life was impossible to miss.
Between getting him from the truck and into the bed, Dan had suddenly developed a fever. Concerned about his fever, Pat went into the hall. She looked in the one open door expecting to find a bathroom. Her instincts were right. She went in and wet down a face cloth. She took a moment to search the medicine cabinet to see if there was anything in it that would help him. Returning to Dan's room, she put the cloth over his forehead hoping that it would help bring down his fever.
She sat back and studied the poster. Owning a bar had put her in a
position where she had seen lots of people who had lived their lives in
denial of one or more of those facts. She wondered where he had gotten
that poster deciding that she'd like a copy of it.