Dexter stared up at the ceiling of the Nevada bordello, wondering how many times the woman beside him had stared at it in boredom, while some pudgy old prick got his rocks off in her. It was sad to admit that he was the latest of the pudgy old pricks. He was sure that he wouldn't be the last.
"Do you like your job?" Dexter asked.
"Sure," she answered without much enthusiasm.
Her work name was Bambi and she was a natural brunette. The blond highlights in her hair had come straight out of a bottle. She had soft brown eyes. She wasn't particularly voluptuous, nor was she anorexic. She was firm without being a hard body. She was the girl next door. In a way, she reminded him of Amber.
Dexter didn't bother to look at her. "Really?"
"Yes. I do enjoy it," Bambi said getting a little more energy into her claim.
"I don't see how," Dexter said.
Bambi rolled over to her side and supported her upper body off the bed with her elbow. Her silicon breasts didn't droop under the influence of gravity.
She said, "I like men."
"You do? Why?" Dexter asked surprised by her answer.
Considering her line of work, he figured that she had to be tired of men. He often wondered if women in her occupation had a low opinion of men. God knows that he would if he were in her place.
"They're strong, and at the same time they're weak," she answered. "I'm fascinated at how their strengths and weaknesses fit together. Women are strong only because they use their weakness for strength. For men, their weaknesses sap their strength."
"I don't get it," Dexter said glancing over at her.
Bambi sighed. She said, "A man can go out and fight an army for an ideal. You know ... country, family, or even company. There's a strength of character in that, that I find attractive."
"A woman will fight for her children," Dexter said.
"That's not an ideal that she's fighting for. Believe me, I know. It is about keeping what she has," Bambi said.
"Isn't that what a man does?" Dexter asked.
"A man will fight in the hope of improving things," Bambi said. "One of my professors once said that if women were in charge of the world, we'd still be living in caves. They wouldn't have ever risked what they had, for the uncertainty of something new."
Dexter sighed. "I don't know about that."
Bambi said, "My daddy used to say that a man marries a woman hoping that she won't change while a woman marries a man hoping that he will change. My mom used to say that a man wants to change the world, while a woman wants it to stay the same. I think they are both right, even though it seems contradictory."
Dexter's first reaction was to laugh, but he bit down on it. The bit about woman wanting men to change reminded him there was a second part to that story.
He said, "Men are disappointed when their wives change, and women are disappointed that their husbands don't change."
"Truer words were never spoken," Bambi said.
She sighed and then said, "I think it is even worse when a man does change. I think the women around him lose respect for him. It's almost like the women ask, 'Aren't you man enough to remain true to yourself?' That's an unfair question because women have a secret weapon. Men are weak, and the women can use that against them."
"What weapon?" Dexter asked.
"Men are so fragile," Bambi said. She reached over and touched his cock. "It is so easy to destroy a man. One laugh at his manhood and you can totally destroy him."
"Everyone knows that," Dexter said.
He looked down at his cock feeling a twinge of worry that she'd say something negative about it. It was an instinctual reaction to the topic of discussion.
"Laughing at a man's cock will either infuriate him or emasculate him. In this business, I've seen the results of both. The man who comes in here and batters at my pussy using his cock as a weapon has been hurt by a woman. I've had men come in who couldn't get it up, just because of what a woman has said to him."
"Couldn't get it up?" Dexter asked.
"It's true," Bambi said. "I find dealing with that situation really difficult, particularly when he's small down there. You know that he's heard a thousand times that size doesn't matter, but he knows that's a lie. Size does matter. It matters most to the man who is small."
"How about to women?" Dexter asked.
"There are size queens, but they aren't really all that common. The physical is important to women, but it takes a distant second to the emotional. I can tell a guy who's been damaged that all day and he won't hear it," Bambi said quietly. "It's sad because the right woman could change it."
"Are you the right woman?" Dexter asked.
Bambi laughed and said, "I wish. A guy like that isn't coming to me to heal. He's hoping that he won't be shamed even further, but he is. He's paying for sex."
"Like me," Dexter said bitterly.
Bambi said, "Don't be so negative. You're paying for it for a different reason. I think you're paying for it for all of the right reasons."
"What is that?" Dexter asked.
"You're horny."
Bambi looked over at Dexter and saw the expression on his face.
She laughed and said, "It's the right reason. I know you feel guilty and a little ashamed, but you shouldn't."
"Why do you say that I shouldn't feel guilty?" Dexter asked.
"For you, there are two reasons to have sex. The main one is to express your love. The secondary one is to get rid of your horniness. You'd feel guilty as hell if you were to use some woman who was looking for love, just to get your rocks off."
"I would feel guilty, just using a woman," Dexter said.
Part of his guilt in coming to a bordello and paying for sex was the fear that he was continuing the degradation of a woman.
"Coming to me makes it a transaction. Our expectations are explicit. You expect sex. I expect money. It's honest."
"I never thought about it like that," Dexter said.
"You shouldn't feel guilty about using me. I'm here for reasons that have nothing to do with you. I was here before you got here, and I'll be here long after you're gone. If you weren't here, I'd be out waiting at the bar for someone else to come in," Bambi said.
"You must hate us," Dexter said.
Bambi fondled his cock a little. "Not at all. In fact, I like men like you."
"Now you're just trying to make me feel better," Dexter said.
"Really. I do. You can have a prostitute anywhere. Why are you in Nevada?" Bambi asked.
"It's legal here," Dexter answered.
"You're an honest and law abiding man."
Dexter said, "I guess so."
Bambi said, "I liked how you treated me in bed. You weren't out to impress me. You took your pleasure without attempting to humiliate me, or make me feel like a lesser person in any way. You treated me with respect."
He was pretty sure that she said those kinds of things to every client. It wasn't good for business to insult the person paying you.
"I have no illusions about impressing you with my skills in bed. You've probably had the best," Dexter said.
"And the worst," Bambi added.
"And the worst," Dexter admitted.
Bambi smiled because she knew the question he wanted to ask and would never ask. "You're good in bed. You've got a perfectly wonderful cock and you use it well."
"Thank you," Dexter said.
"You've got an expert's opinion on that," Bambi said.
"Well, the rest of the package isn't so nice. I'm a little overweight, I'm not handsome, and I'm getting older," Dexter said.
"Like I said earlier, men are fragile. You've been hurt, too, but in a different way," Bambi said.
"How?" Dexter asked fascinated by her.
"I said that men fight for an ideal. They fight for family. Men want to make it a better world. The problem is that sometimes it is a fight that just can't be won. You've lost a major battle," Bambi said.
"Maybe," Dexter said.
Bambi studied his face for a moment. "I know you have. You've got that look about you."
"What look?" Dexter asked.
"Someone hurt you real bad," Bambi said.
"I wasn't hurt that bad," Dexter said.
Bambi left loose a dismissive laugh. "Honey, don't even try to go there. It is written all over your face."
She patted him on his cheek, as if to make her point.
"All right," Dexter said.
"I'm going to guess that you were a success in business, and woke up to discover that you had lost your family," Bambi said.
"Why do you say that?" Dexter asked.
"You've got money, so you were successful at something. Usually, that comes at the expense of family," Bambi said.
Men who were worried about money didn't pay the kind of prices that Dexter had paid to be there. She knew that. He was the kind of guy that even if he was filthy rich, he wouldn't have spent that kind of money on her at the expense of family. That meant he was estranged from his family.
"Close. I was a failure at work. I sued them, and that's how I got money," Dexter said. "But you're right about having lost my family."
"That's a double whammy – job and family," Bambi said. "At least you haven't given up the fight."
"I have," Dexter declared.
"No, you haven't. You're off licking your wounds, right now," Bambi said.
She ran her hand along his chest. He was right about being a little overweight, but she'd had men who were in a lot worse shape. All in all, he wasn't a bad looking man.
When he didn't respond to her words, she said, "You're trying to decide if you should try to regain what you lost, or start over again. You feel like the first is hopeless and you're afraid that you've forgotten how to do the second."
"You nailed it," Dexter said.
There had been a time when Janet would have picked up on things like that. It was strange that a woman he didn't even know was able to understand him that well.
"I know men."
"So what do you think I'm going to do?" Dexter asked.
Bambi's hand lingered down at his crotch. He was starting to react. It was still a little early.
"I don't know. I just don't believe you've given up, yet," Bambi said.
"I'm divorced," Dexter said.
"So?" Bambi asked.
"Well, that makes getting my family back impossible," Dexter said.
"No, it doesn't. It gives you a chance to start over with your wife, again," Bambi said.
"How can you say that?" Dexter said.
"Well, it's like you hit a reset button. The marriage is over. Now you have to pursue her just like you would any other woman. That means you have to call her and ask her for a date. You have to take her to someplace nice. You have to fully engage in the mating dance," Bambi said.
"Why would she be interested in doing that?" Dexter asked.
"Women don't want change. She'd entertain the idea of going back to what she once had. I know I would have considered it if my ex-husband had called me for a date," Bambi said.
"You were married?" Dexter asked.
"Yes, and I fucked it up. I took him for granted. I only saw his strength. I didn't realize just how fragile he was, and I hurt him," Bambi said.
"So this is your penance?" Dexter asked while gesturing to the room they were in.
"No. This is how I'm paying my way through college," Bambi answered.
"Psychology?"
"Business."
"I guess that makes sense," Dexter said.
"You're hard again," Bambi said.
"Yes, I am. I wonder what we should do about that," Dexter said.
She said, "I think you're going to fuck me again."
Dexter laughed. For some reason, he was feeling better than he had in a long time.
Edited By TeNderLoin