The little metal statue of Suzie danced in Sean's hand. He had found that a paper clip and a bit of magic made a nice little statue. He put the statue on the table by his bed and watched it walk around. He sighed wishing that the real Suzie was there with him. He had to spend the night in the hospital because of his concussion.
For the tenth time that morning, he picked up the latest copy of the newspaper. His mother's picture was on the front page. At least they had the decency to blur out the private bits. He sighed and said, "That's another one for her collection."
His mother entered the room. Seeing that he was looking at the newspaper, she said, "I wish they would use my official publicity picture. I look so stupid in that picture with my breasts blurred out."
"I don't want to talk about it," Sean said.
"Did you read the article?"
Sean said, "Yes."
"I thought it was a pretty good. That whole bit about me being a distraught mother sounded kind of ... I don't know ... motherly," she said.
"Right," Sean said shaking his head.
"No one has ever said that I was motherly before."
"I wonder why," Sean said.
His mother said, "I don't know. I do have say that I really liked that article."
Sean asked, "You don't think that bit about you being engaged in a sex party was in bad taste?"
"It is better that people think that then having them learn the truth," his mother said.
"Why do you think that having people believe you were having a sex party with Suzie's parents is a good thing?" Sean asked. He could only imagine what Suzie had experienced at school that day. It was tough enough being a teenager without having an article in the newspaper about your parents being swingers.
His mother said, "Can you image what would happen if people found out there were leprechauns running around in our backyard? We'd have so many people chasing them that Suzie's mother and I would never have a chance of catching Liam."
"That actually makes sense," Sean said.
"I knew you would understand," his mother said with a smile.
"How did Dad react to that bit?" Sean asked.
His mother answered, "He wanted to know why he wasn't invited to the party."
"That sounds like dad," Sean said shaking his head.
"He was so disappointed. I guess we're going to start doing movies in the backyard again. At least the weather is warmer," his mother said.
"What?" Sean asked.
"We're going to have to enlarge the parking area in the backyard. I never realized that we had so many interesting neighbors," his mother said. "I've been getting calls all morning. You wouldn't believe the kinds of invitations that we've gotten."
"I don't want to hear about it," Sean said.
"Max's mother called and wanted to know if we would come over for a visit one night," his mother said.
"Why would they invite you over?" Sean asked. He regretted asking the question even before the words were out of his mouth.
"She mentioned something about a leather and lace party," his mother said.
"I don't want to hear about that," Sean said putting his hands over his ears.
"Coach Slaughter called. He wanted to know if we'd be interested in working in his private gym. He mentioned that it was clothing optional," his mother said.
"No, no, no," Sean said.
"What's the matter?"
Sean asked, "Can we change the subject?"
"To what?" his mother asked.
"How about we talk about me?" Sean asked.
"I can do that. According to the newspaper, I'm a motherly kind of person," his mother said.
Sean looked at her.
After a minute, she asked, "How do I start?"
"You might ask me how I'm feeling," Sean answered.
"So how are you feeling?"
Sean answered, "Not very well."
"What's the matter?" she asked.
"I keep finding out things about people that I don't want to know," Sean said.
His mother said, "That's all part of growing up."
"That is a part of growing up that I don't want to experience," Sean said.
His mother noticed the little statue walking around on the table. She leaned over and examined it carefully. She said, "That looks like Suzie."
"I know," Sean said.
"She's naked," his mother said.
"Uh, yes."
"My little boy is growing up. I'm so proud of you," his mother said patting him on the arm.
"Uh, thanks," Sean said.
An awkward silence descended on the room. Much to their relief, Suzie's mother entered the room. She said, "Good morning."
"Good morning," Sean said.
"Are you feeling better?" she asked.
"Yes. How's Mr. Emery feeling?" Sean asked.
Suzie's mother answered, "Oh, he's fine. It was nothing. They pulled out one pellet and then put a tiny little Band-Aid over the hole."
"I'm glad it wasn't more serious than that," Sean said.
Suzie's mother noticed the little statue walking around on the table. She leaned over and examined it carefully. She said, "That looks like Suzie."
"I know," Sean said.
"She's naked," Suzie's mother said.
"Uh, yes."
"She's really a pretty young lady," Sean's mother said. "You must be so proud of her."
"I am," Suzie's mother said.
"Our children make a nice couple," Sean's mother said.
"They are a little inhibited," Suzie's mother said.
"Excuse me. I'm here," Sean said holding up his right hand with his forefinger pointing up.
His mother said, "They're still at that exploratory stage in their relationship. They'll loosen up with time."
"Maybe Sean and Suzie should start double dating with Max and Clea," Suzie's mother said.
Confused by the suggestion, Sean asked, "Why?"
"I think you would have a bit of fun with them," she answered.
Sean asked, "What did you mean?"
Nodding her head in agreement, his mother said, "Once you get past Clea's beard, she's got a pretty substantial set of breasts. You could really have a lot of fun with her."
"Mother!"
"What?" his mother asked.
"I'm dating Suzie," Sean said.
"So?" his mother asked.
Sean said, "What would Suzie think?"
Mrs. Emery said, "She wouldn't think anything about it. She'd probably be too busy with Max to worry about what you are doing."
"What would she be doing with Max?" Sean asked looking over at Mrs. Emery in shock.
"What do you think she would be doing?" his mother asked.
"I don't know," Sean answered.
His mother turned to Mrs. Emery and said, "These kids have no imagination."
"Where did we go wrong?" Mrs. Emery said.
"I don't know," his mother answered.
"Do you feel up to a cup of coffee?" Mrs. Emery asked.
"That sounds good to me," his mother said.
Mrs. Emery asked, "How did your husband react to the newspaper article?"
"He was jealous and wanted to know why we were partying without him," Sean's mother answered.
"Why don't you come over tonight and we'll make it up to him," Suzie's mother said.
Sean said, "Uh, excuse me..."
"What about the kids?"
Suzie's mother said, "I'm sure that Suzie would love to spend the night with Sean."
"True. I can't imagine Sean complaining about getting to play a little nurse and patient game for the night."
Sean said, "Uh, could I ask a..."
"I'll take her by Shirley's Treasures this afternoon," Suzie's mother said.
"That's a good idea. I'm sure that they have a nurse's outfit in just her size," Sean's mother said.
He watched the pair of women walk out of his room. He stared at the door once it closed behind them. Incredulous, he said, "I must be dreaming."
After pinching his arm, Sean woke up and sat upright in the hospital bed. He sighed in relief and said, "What a weird dream!"
Sean noticed a paper clip on the little table by his bed. With a little magic, he turned the paperclip into a miniature statue of Suzie. He watched it dance in his hand. He put the statue on the table by his bed and watched it walk around. He sighed wishing that the real Suzie was there with him.
For the tenth time that morning, he picked up the latest copy of the newspaper. His mother's picture was on the front page. At least they had the decency to blur out the private bits. He sighed and said, "That's another one for her collection."
His mother entered the room. Seeing that he was looking at the newspaper, she said, "I wish they would use my official publicity picture. I look so stupid in that picture with my breasts blurred out."
"I don't want to talk about it," Sean said with a rising feeling of horror.
"Did you read the article?"
Sean said, "Yes."
"I thought it was a pretty good. That whole bit about me being a distraught mother sounded kind of ... I don't know ... motherly," she said.
Sean looked at the door and screamed, "Nurse!"