Friday night football at the school was one of the few social occasions that brought the entire student population together. They weren't there to cheer the team on to a win since that happened so infrequently that everyone had given up hope. It was basically that it was the only thing to do in the entire area.
Sean and Suzie climbed the bleachers to watch the game. Sean spotted Coach Reynolds seated in the stands and said, "Ms. Woodhill's boyfriend is here."
"He must be here to watch her coaching debut. Let's sit with him," Suzie said thinking that he would appreciate a little company.
"I'm sure that he'll appreciate our fine company. I know I would if I was him," Sean said heading in his direction.
"Hello, Sean and Suzie," Coach Reynolds said when they sat down next to him.
"Hello, Coach Reynolds. Are you here to watch Ms. Woodhill lead our team to another loss?" Sean asked thinking that was a nice polite opener to a conversation.
"Your confidence in her coaching is a little underwhelming," Coach Reynolds said with a laugh.
"The word around school is that we'll only lose by fifty points," Suzie said.
Nodding his head, Sean said, "I even heard someone say that we might even get a touchdown this game. We haven't had one of those for a long time."
"That would really be exciting," Suzie said.
"They aren't that bad," Coach Reynolds said. He had faith in his girlfriend's ability to whip the team into shape.
"Yes, they are," Sean said as if that was a widely known fact on par with the world being round.
The team came running out to the field from the gym. Suzie commented, "Look. They are actually running to the field."
"Of course they're running," Coach Reynolds said.
"Usually they kind of walk out there," Sean replied.
Suzie said, "Sometimes they just shuffle along."
Coach Reynolds caught sight of Ms. Woodhill and burst out laughing. Slapping his thigh, he said, "I don't believe it. She said that she was going to wear that outfit."
Ms. Woodhill strolled out to the sideline wearing a pink southern belle dress, a large pink floppy hat, and carrying a pink parasol. Coach Slaughter walked next to her looking like he wanted to crawl into the nearest hole. The opposing coach and team were laughing at them.
Suzie said, "That's a nice outfit. She looks very feminine in it."
"You'd look good in it," Sean said agreeing with her.
"You've just got to love her. She's got a style that is all her own," Coach Reynolds said grinning.
"She's a great teacher," Sean said.
"Yes, she is," Suzie said.
Coach Reynolds asked, "Did she teach you about poetry yet?"
"Yes," Suzie said looking over at Sean to make sure that he didn't start talking about poetry. He was still under orders not to discuss the matter on school property.
From the row behind them, Susan said, "I like poetry."
Jerry said, "Down girl."
"Read to me," Susan said with a ferocious purr.
Coach Reynolds looked back at her and shivered. He said, "Scary."
"She can be a little scary particularly when people start talking poetry," Sean said. When Suzie shook her finger at him, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "I know. I'm not allowed to talk about poetry."
"It is nice to see her taking an interest in something for a change," Suzie said looking over at Susan. The young woman had her arms wrapped around Jerry.
Sid and Anita took seats in front of Sean. Anita was hanging onto Sid like he was a life preserver. Sean said, "Hello, Sid."
"Hello, Anita," Suzie said thinking that Anita looked very satisfied.
Grinning from ear to ear, Sid said, "Hello, Sean."
"Hello, Suzie," Anita said snuggling up to Sid.
"How are things going?" Sean asked.
"Things are going great," Sid answered.
"Things are real great. He was reading poetry to me earlier," Anita said. She ran a hand along Sid's thigh and kissed him on the neck.
"I like poetry."
"Down girl."
"Read to me."
Looking out at the action on the field, Coach Reynolds said, "It looks like they are about to start the game."
The opposing team kicked the ball. One of the players caught it and started running. Watching the action, Suzie asked, "What is he doing?"
"I think he's running," Sean answered leaning forward to see the action a little better.
"Shouldn't they have tackled him by now?" Suzie asked when one of the players from the other team missed tackling him.
"Yes," Jerry said.
Taking a moment to look away from Anita, Sid watched the action on the field with a puzzled expression on his face. He asked, "We're the team in blue, right?"
"I think so," Sean said watching one of the players in blue knock a player in white on his butt. He asked, "Was that a block?"
"Maybe we're the team in white," Suzie said watching the runner avoid another tackle.
Demonstrating that she wasn't all chest and long legs, Anita said, "All of the players standing next to Coach Slaughter are wearing blue."
Coach Reynolds stood up and shouted, "Way to go!"
Not quite sure that he believed what he had just witnessed, Sean asked, "Did we just score a touchdown?"
"It sure looks like it to me," Suzie said.
"How did that happen?" Sid asked. He looked at Anita and she shrugged her shoulders in reply.
Still a little excited about the poetry teasers, Susan stood up and shouted, "We scored a touchdown."
The stunned silence that had held sway in the stands was finally broken. Everyone stood up and started shouting. Coach Slaughter was staring at the far end of the field with his mouth open. Waving her parasol around, Ms. Woodhill shouted, "Now that is the way to score a homerun!"
"She's good," Coach Reynolds said with a grin. The coach for the other team was throwing a fit.
Clea arrived while everyone was celebrating the touchdown. Clea sat down next to Suzie and asked, "What's going on?"
"We actually had a touchdown," Suzie said excited.
"Okay," Clea said having no idea what that meant. She pointed at Ms. Woodhill and asked, "Is that the woman that has Max terrified?"
"Yes," Suzie answered.
"She doesn't look like much," Clea said. She studied Ms. Woodhill for a second and then added, "I like her outfit."
"It is nice, isn't it?" Suzie said.
"Where can I get a dress like that?" Clea asked.
"I don't know. We can probably ask her after the game. They might have one at Shirley's Treasures," Suzie answered. They had all kinds of outfits there. She looked over at Clea and asked, "Are you giving up on leather?"
"Never," Clea said, "Max really likes it when I wear my leather outfit. Of course, with all of the holes in it, I can't wear it everywhere."
"Leather?"
Everyone turned to look at Susan. All of the males moved away from her a little. Jerry said, "Down girl."
"He Worshipped My Leather Clad Body," Susan said shivering. Looking at Jerry, she sighed, "I love that poem."
Leaning over to Suzie, Clea asked, "Who is the scary lady?"
"Susan," Suzie answered, "You should talk to her."
Clea climbed the bleachers and sat down next to Susan. She asked, "You like leather clothes?"
"Oh yeah," Susan said with a growl. She rubbed Jerry's thigh and he groaned.
"You should see some of the outfits I have. They drive Max wild," Clea said.
"Where did you get them?" Susan asked more interested in the topic of conversation than the ballgame on the field.
"Shirley's Treasures," Clea answered. She looked out at the field in time to see Max tackle someone. She shouted, "Way to go Max."
"They'll be closed by the time I get there," Susan said. She leaned over to Jerry and asked, "Would you like to take me to Shirley's Treasures tomorrow?"
"Yes," Jerry said. His eyes glazed over while imagining Susan wearing some of the outfits there.
"It is a date," Susan said.
Coach Reynolds was more interested in the game than in the conversations taking place around him. He leaned over to Sean and said, "It is hard to believe the improvement the team is showing in just a week."
"We are actually winning," Sean said staring at the field. He wasn't quite sure what to make of that fact.
Thinking it was a newsworthy event, Suzie said, "Maybe we ought to tell someone on the school paper to cover the game."
"They already wrote the article," Sean said.
Suzie said, "Oh, I forgot."
"The game just started. How could they have written it already?" Coach Reynolds asked.
"Every week they publish the same article covering the football game. They just substitute in the score and name of the opposing team in the headline," Sean answered.
"You're kidding?" Coach Reynolds asked.
Suzie said, "Everyone in school knows the football report verbatim. Last Friday, the football team suffered another humiliating defeat at the hands of the opposing team. Crushed by a score of something to something, the team left the field in a sad procession reminiscent of a funeral."
"You've got to admit that is great imagery," Sean said.
"Very heartfelt," Sid said nodding his head in agreement. He added, "I particularly like the part about the hopes of the fans disappearing like ashes in a gale."
"That is good," Sean said.
"I don't know. I always thought that was taking the funeral analogy a little too far," Suzie said.
"That's true," Sid said. He could see why someone would think that way.
Sean said, "They've had years to perfect that article."
"You're right," Suzie said.
Considering that he worked at a large football school in which even a sneeze by the quarterback made the school paper, Coach Reynolds asked, "Do you mean to tell me that you've been running the same article reporting the football news every week?"
"Yes," Sean answered. It made perfect sense to him.
Sid said, "You know what. I don't think we even have a sports reporter on the school newspaper."
"You might be right," Suzie said. She turned around and said, "Jerry. Who is the sports reporter for our school newspaper?"
"We don't have one. We haven't needed one since old coach what's his name retired," Jerry answered.
"Who works on the school newspaper?" Sean asked.
"I don't know," Suzie said looking around puzzled.
Sid called out, "Does anyone have a copy of the school paper?"
When no one answered, Anita asked, "Do you have one in one of your pockets, Sean?"
"No," Sean answered. Considering all of the things that he carried in the pockets of his pants, it was kind of surprising that he hadn't thought to include a copy of the school paper.
Taking a break from the pile of paperwork on his desk, Principal Charmers walked out to the stands to make sure that everyone was behaving themselves. He had to make a token appearance at every game. He was walking past the group of students when Sid shouted, "Hey Principal Charmers, we have a question over here."
"What?" Principal Charmers asked coming over to where they were all seated.
"Who is on the school newspaper?" Sean asked.
"I'm not sure anyone works on it," Principal Charmers answered. He scratched his head and said, "I think we just reprint last year's paper by changing the date on it. Ms. Hawkins usually takes care of that."
Coach Reynolds said, "That's not much of a student paper."
"It is printed on recycled paper," Sean said objecting to the rather poor characterization of their school paper. "It is even eight and a half by eleven. Sometimes there are articles on both sides of the sheet."
"There are no students working on it," Coach Reynolds said.
"That's why we call it the school newspaper and not a student newspaper," Principal Charmers said. He added, "We only have articles on both sides of the sheet when the photocopier is working correctly."
"Who is going to write up this game?" Suzie asked.
"We've got a perfectly good article for our football games. We've been running it ever since coach what's his name retired and no one has complained," Principal Charmers answered. He looked out at the scoreboard and studied it for a second. Puzzled he asked, "Is the scoreboard broken?"
"No. We're ahead seven to nothing," Suzie said.
"Really? How did that happen?" Principal Charmers asked. The first quarter was about to end with his school ahead.
Thinking that the explanation should be obvious, Coach Reynolds said, "Your team scored a touchdown."
"How did they manage to do that?" Principal Charmers asked.
"Ms. Woodhill is a very good coach in addition to being a most excellent English teacher," Sean said. He leaned over to Suzie and said, "Didn't I say that earlier?"
"Yes, you did," Suzie said.
Watching Max tackle someone else, Clea said, "I'll write the article."
Principal Charmers looked at her. The beard kind of threw him for a moment, but he recovered nicely and asked, "Are you a student here?"
"No, but my boyfriend is on the team," Clea answered.
"I think the person who writes the article should be a student," Principal Charmers said. There was a large shout from the other students. Looking around, he asked, "What happened?"
"I think we scored another touchdown," Anita said.
"We did?" Principal Charmers asked. Two in a single game had to be some kind of school record.
Clea asked, "What is a touchdown?"
"How did that happen?" Sean asked.
"I think Max stole the ball and scored," Sid said.
Giving Sid a dirty look, Clea asked, "Max scored? Who did Max score with?"
"It means that he carried the ball over the goal line," Sean explained.
"I thought when a guy scored that he had sex with a woman," Clea said wondering if Sean was trying to trick her.
"That's another meaning," Sean said.
"You're going to have to explain this football thing to me," Clea said.