Max staggered into class, paused, staggered to the side, paused, and then leaned against the wall. He slid down to the floor allowing the friction of the wall to slow his descent. For a full minute he just stared into space. He then slid down to lie on his side. All was quiet for a few seconds and then Max let loose with a low moan. After a long drawn out groan, he said, "Death by football practice."
Jerry walked into class walking like Frankenstein's monster. He reached his chair and looked down at it without moving his neck. He slowly bent down until he managed to get seated. He moaned and said, "She's an animal."
Tom staggered into the room as if his legs wouldn't support him. He collapsed into the chair by the door and said, "I'm exhausted. She wore me out."
Sid crawled into the room and slowly made his way towards his desk. He looked up at the seat and wondered how he would make it all of the way up there. He gave up and just stayed on the floor. He groaned, "Page forty two."
Sean entered the room walking like he had palsy. He jumped at every little noise. His eyes darted around the room as if seeking some dire threat. He reached his desk and sat down. In a shaky voice, he said, "The horrors."
Susan slinked into the class and sat down at her desk with a purr. She looked over at Jerry, licked her lips, and said, "I've tasted blood and I like it."
"I need to heal," Jerry said looking at her without moving his neck.
"Don't take too long," Susan said. She checked out her fingernails and added, "With These Chains I Bound Him To Me. I loved that one."
Debbie bounced into the room full of energy. She sat down next to Tom and said, "Good morning. Actually, it is not such a good morning since I'm grounded until I'm a hundred and one years old, but I feel good. As soon as I'm ungrounded, you're reading some more of that to me."
"Yes, dear," Tom said lifting his head off the desk long enough to get the words out. His forehead made a nice thud when his head hit his desk.
"He Dined and I Visited Heaven," Debbie said with a sigh. "That was so good."
Suzie came into the room looking from side to side. She kept her back to the wall and edged around the room towards the desk. Once she was near her desk, she darted to her seat and sat down. She leaned over to Sean and said, "My mother gave a copy of the book to dad. I'm scared."
Sean just stared at her and shook. She said, "You don't look so good. Do you need to see the school nurse?"
"No," Sean managed to stutter. He said, "Sick world."
Ms. Woodhill entered the class smiling at everyone in the room. She stopped and looked down at Max. In a voice that would have made a Drill Sergeant proud, she barked, "Max Baxter!"
Max sat up and looked around wildly. His eyes got big on seeing Ms. Woodhill.
"Get to your desk!" Ms. Woodhill said.
Max jumped up and ran to his desk. He dived in it and stared at her in fear. She shook a finger at him and said, "You won't lie around like that in practice this afternoon."
Max looked like he was about to cry.
Smiling sweetly, she turned to the rest of the class. She looked over at Debbie and said, "Debbie. Did you enjoy the poetry?"
"Oh yes," Debbie gushed. She smiled over at Tom.
"Tom? How did you like it?" Ms. Woodhil asked.
"Mmmm," Tom answered.
Taking in his physical condition, Ms. Woodhill said, "Remind me to tell Coach Slaughter to work on a program to build up a little stamina."
"Umm," Tom answered thinking that forming words using him mouth was just a bit too much work.
Ms. Woodhill turned to Susan and asked, "Did you find anything in this dull dull world that interests you?"
"Oh, yes," Susan said. With a predatory growl she looked over at Jerry.
"That's good," Ms. Woodhill said. She looked at Jerry and said, "Your back is bleeding. Maybe you should see the school nurse."
"I can't walk," Jerry said between clenched teeth.
"Okay. Maybe a little later," Ms. Woodhill said. She looked at Suzie and frowned. Suzie should have been glowing rather than looking around frightened. She asked, "How did you like the poetry, Suzie?"
"It was great," Suzie said.
"Why are you so ... nervous?" Ms. Woodhill asked.
"My Dad has a copy of it. I escaped before he found Mom," Suzie said. Half of the class groaned.
Turning to look at Sean, Ms. Woodhill was shocked by his appearance. Worried, she asked, "What's the matter with you, Sean?"
"I caught my Dad reading poetry to my Mother."
Tom sat up and said, "You poor bastard. No one should ever experience that."
"That's sick. Parents should stick to age appropriate materials," Debbie said making a face as if she had just bitten into a lemon.
"They've got Sears catalogs to read. Why should they read our stuff?" Jerry said. His comment was greeted with lots of agreement by others in the class.
"You can say that again," Sid said from the floor.
Ms. Woodhill noticed Sid sprawled out on the floor. Bending down to look at him, she asked, "What happened to you?"
"Anita. She wore me out," Sid said. Those long legs of her gave her some leverage and she definitely knew how to use that leverage to her best advantage. Of course, the oxygen deprivation resulting from having his head crushed between her breasts might have had a bit to do with his general weakness.
"I definitely need to talk to Coach Slaughter about building up these boys' stamina," Ms. Woodhill said shaking her head in dismay. "They should have able to last a week at least."
She sighed and said, "There are advantages to dating athletes."
Walking up to the front of the class, Ms. Woodhill said, "Let's read some Romeo and Juliet."
She looked around the room for a second when there was no reaction from the class. She then said, "Maybe tomorrow."
Susan looked over at Jerry and asked, "Are you sure that you can't manage just one more poem?"
"I can't move," Jerry said through clenched teeth.
"I'll hold the book for you," Susan said with a low purr.
Looking over at Tom who was now sprawled out across his desk, Debbie said, "Let's skip school and read some more poetry. I mean, what can my Dad do? Ground me until I'm two hundred and two?"
"Mmmm," Tom said. Forcing one eye open, he said, "I read ten poems to you yesterday."
"We wouldn't have had to stop if we hadn't run out of condoms," Debbie said sounding disappointed.
"I got home at three this morning," Tom said. The world started disappearing on him. He realized that it was his eye closing on him and forced it back open.
"We'd still be going it if the nurse had given us more than ten condoms," Debbie said giving herself a hug.
"My Dad yelled at me until seven," Tom said giving up on seeing the world. It was just so much easier with his eyes closed.
"We can stop by the nurse's station and pick up some more condoms," Debbie said brightly.
"I need sleep," Tom said.
Delirious, Max mumbled, "Football. I used to play football. Yesterday wasn't football. That was hell. The Devil is a woman wearing a southern belle dress, a floppy hat, and carrying a little umbrella."
Ms. Woodhill asked, "Max, are you making derogatory questions about my coaching attire?"
"Was my mouth moving?" Max asked.
"Yes," Ms. Woodhill said.
Max said, "It wasn't supposed to be moving."
"For your information, it is a parasol; not an umbrella," Ms. Woodhill said.
"Death by football," Max moaned letting his head sink to the desktop.
The bell rang and Ms. Woodhill said, "I'll see you tomorrow, kids."
No one moved. She looked around the room and said, "Class is over."
Principal Charmers came in the room and looked around. He cleared his throat and said, "Everyone to their next class."
Jerry said, "I can't move."
"I'll get the school nurse," Principal Charmers said shaking his head.
"Good morning, Principal Charmers," Ms. Woodhill said brightly.
Frowning, Principal Charmers said, "Two of your students may have eloped to Las Vegas to get married."
"Who?" Ms. Woodhill said.
"William and Lucy," Principal Charmers said.
Ms. Woodhill smiled and said, "They make such a nice couple. She's so bold and he's so shy."
"What do you have to say for yourself?"
Ms. Woodhill said, "They say that the written word has lost its power in this modern day of television. It is nice to see that's not true."
"We had two dozen students skip school yesterday. Two of them have run off to get married and all you can say is that the pen is mightier than the tv?" Principal Charmers said looking at Ms. Woodhill. He had been on the telephone until three that morning dealing with irate parents.
"No one got hurt," Ms. Woodhill said. She caught a glimpse of Sean and said, "Well, except for maybe Sean."
"What happened to Sean?" Principal Charmers asked. He looked at the physical wreck that was seated in front of him.
"He caught his father reading poetry to his mother," Ms. Woodhill said looking a little embarrassed.
"That poor bastard. I feel for him," Principal Charmers said looking at Sean with pity.
Tom woke up long enough to say, "I said the same thing." His forehead made a nice thud when he fell back onto his desk.
Debbie pulled on his arm and said, "Come on."
"Tired," Tom said.
Suzie was worried about Sean. He was a mere shell of his former self. Each sound caused him to flinch. There had to be something to she could do to snap him out of it. She reached into her purse and removed the two figurines from within it. Holding them out to Sean, she said, "Make them move."
After jumping back in reaction to the sudden movement of her hand near him, Sean ordered the figurines to move. He looked at them for a second and then said, "Look at us."
"Look at what they're doing now," Suzie said.
Sean sat up a little straighter and said, "You are so pretty."
"What do you think of that position?" Suzie asked smiling at him. His shaking had almost stopped.
"I think I'd like to try it," Sean said looking over at her with a smile.
Suzie could see that his tremors had stopped. She took his hand and raised it to her lips. Kissing it, she asked, "How do you feel?"
"Uhg nonga," Sean said finding that his ability to articulate words had fled.
Suzie slipped her mouth over one of his fingers. She sucked on it for a few minutes and then asked, "How do you feel?"
"Gling gling mung mu," Sean answered.
Suzie threw her arms around him and kissed him. She said, "I've got my Sean back."
"Cong Cong Dong," Sean said.
"Come with me," Suzie said standing up. She looked down at the figurines that were still moving and put them back in her purse. It wouldn't do to let others see them.
Sean rose from his chair and said, "Meenga Papapa."
"Yes, you are," Suzie said leading him out of the room with a smile on her face. Her Sean was back to his old self and all was right with the world. It didn't take her long to navigate her way through the hallways.
Sean leaned his head on her shoulder and sighed. He stayed that way through Calculus. They didn't miss anything since they were the only ones in class. It appeared that Jerry had gone to the nurse's office. He had been followed by Susan who was carrying a poetry book and begging to hear just one more poem. Sid had fallen asleep somewhere between the English classroom and this one.
Mrs. West didn't mind the lack of students in the classroom. She sat at her chair drinking coffee and thinking about past classes. They were only a few months into the semester and her students had already completed all of the required material for the year. They were about to start multivariable calculus. It was a subject that she'd never had to teach before. She didn't think she'd have to teach it now. These five kids were ready to invent their own form of calculus.
When the bell ending class rang, Suzie asked, "How are you feeling?"
"Like I want to stay like this forever," Sean said thinking that Suzie had a nice soft shoulder.
"Don't you have something that you're supposed to do today?" Suzie asked.
Shrugging his shoulders, Sean answered, "All I have to do today is to pick up my critters for my project from the store at lunch time."
"How about social studies class?" Suzie asked.
"I guess I should probably go to that too," Sean said not wanting to leave.
"Let's go to class," Suzie said.
"Do we have to?" Sean asked.
Suzie said, "Our grounding is over. We can spend the afternoon together. We'll get grounded again if we skip class."
"That's no good. We have to work this afternoon," Sean said thinking that life was unfair.
"You get to sacrifice French fries to the vegetable oil god," Suzie said.
Brightening, Sean said, "You always know how to cheer me up."
"Let's go," Suzie said rising from her chair.
Sean followed Suzie to the Social Studies class. Ms. Hawkins was standing at the front of the class ready to lecture. There were more empty seats than normal. She asked, "Is there something wrong with everyone?"
"They are just reading poetry or recovering from having read it," Sean answered.
"Poetry?" Ms. Hawkins asked looking at Sean blankly.
Nodding his head, Sean said, "You should try it."
"It turns women into sexual animals," Susan said. She gave a scary little growl as if to prove her point. Half of the boys in the class moved their chairs a little farther away from her.
Sean said, "Now that I think about it Ms. Hawkins, you don't need to try it. You and coach do a pretty good job without it."
Ms. Hawkins turned pale and started gasping for breath. Sean looked at her and asked, "Are you okay?"
Ms. Hawkins started panting in an attempt to take a deep breath. It wasn't working and all it was accomplishing was to make her feel dizzy. Sean said, "Maybe you should sit down, Ms. Hawkins."
Ms. Hawkins got down on the floor still gasping. Worried, Sean said, "You know, this teaching profession must really be stressful. She's too young to be having a heart attack."
Getting out of her chair, Suzie said, "Maybe we ought to get the nurse."
"You're right," Sean said standing up. He looked at Suzie and said, "Maybe you should get the nurse and I'll get Coach Slaughter in case she needs mouth to mouth resuscitation. I'm pretty sure he'd enjoy doing that."
A half an hour later, the EMS people were taking Ms. Hawkins out on a stretcher. Principal Charmers was asking Sean, "What happened?"
"I don't know. We were talking about poetry and she started acting funny," Sean answered.
"Poetry?" Principal Charmers asked wondering what Sean could have said about poetry that would trigger such an extreme reaction.
"It turns women into animals," Susan said. She gave another scary little growl as if to prove her point. Half of the boys in the class stepped closer to the door in case they needed to make a quick exit.
"You should try it. I bet your wife would really enjoy it," Sean said smiling.
"I know all about poetry," Principal Charmers said rubbing his forehead. He had just gone through the worst twenty-four hours of his life because of poetry.
"You stud," Sean said. He turned to the class and said, "Principal Charmers reads poetry to his wife."
"I like poetry," Susan said licking her lips.
Principal Charmers looked over at Susan and stepped back. The expression on her face was a little scary. He had seen Jerry earlier and the poor guy didn't look good. He looked at Sean and said, "Let me give you a little advice, Sean."
"I would be honored," Sean said leaning forward to make sure that he didn't miss a single word.
"Poetry should be a forbidden topic of conversation for you," Principal Charmers said.
"I was kind of expecting advice that was a little more exciting that than," Sean said disappointed.
"Just because it isn't exciting doesn't meant that it isn't good," Principal Charmers said.
"Okay. No talking about poetry," Sean said. He looked over at Suzie and then asked, "Can I still read it to Suzie?"
"That is up to Suzie," Principal Charmers said. He was going to have to talk to Ms. Hawkins to find out what Sean had said to her. His headache was getting so bad that he was beginning to worry about the possibility of a stroke.
"Great," Sean said smiling. He looked over at Suzie and said, "Principal Charmers said that I can read poetry to you."
"Now?" Suzie asked perking up.
"Not now," Principal Charmers said holding up a hand.
"Tease," Suzie said shaking her head in disappointment.
Looking at Principal Charmers, Sean said, "You get a girl all excited like that by leading her to believe that she's going to get poetry read to her and then you leave her frustrated. I don't know how your wife puts up with you."
"We're not talking about my wife," Principal Charmers said rubbing his forehead.
"I forgot, you read poetry to her. I bet you don't leave her frustrated," Sean said.
"Do you remember my advice?"
Sean nodded his head and said, "Yes. No talking about poetry."
"Thank you," Principal Charmers said.
"You're welcome," Sean said.
Principal Charmers said, "Why don't you head out for lunch now?"
"I've got to pick up the creatures for my science project," Sean said giving a credible impersonation of a mad scientist. He even followed up the statement with a diabolical laugh.
"That's even better. Go. Now. Stay gone."
Sean returned to school just in time for his biology class. He walked into class carrying a paper bag. Ms. Bird noticed the bag and asked, "What do you have?"
"The creatures for my project," Sean answered setting down the paper back.
"What are they?" Ms. Bird asked.
Reaching into the bag with both hands, Sean pulled out two of his creatures. Holding one in each hand, he answered, "Lobsters!"