Ms. Bird stared at the strange contraption that Sean was setting up in the biology room. She had lots of students raise all kinds of creatures, but none of them had lived in such a strange habitat. Unable to hold back her curiosity, she asked, "What is that?"
"It is the habitat for my project," Sean answered. He fiddled with it to make sure that it was still in one piece.
"It looks like what Pablo Piccasi would do if he were to make an abstract structure of an octopus wrestling with a scorpion," Ms. Bird said. She didn't think too much of Pablo Piccasi. She figured that he conned women into posing naked for him before discovering that he didn't have any talent. She had fallen for that trick once.
Sean stepped back and looked at the habitat. He had been trying to find some way to describe it and just hadn't been able to find the words. He said, "You're right. It does look a little like that."
"What are you raising?" Ms. Bird asked. She knew all of the basic things sold in pet stores in the area and everything that grew wild. She just couldn't imagine what required a habitat like that.
"It is a secret," Sean answered filling the habitat with water from one of the four ten gallon jugs of salt water he had brought to school with him.
"Do you know what you are doing?" Ms. Bird asked. She jumped back when the water started moving through the habitat as if by magic. She couldn't see any moving parts that would cause it to flow like that.
"Of course not," Sean answered deciding that whatever was making the water move was powered by salt water like his truck. He muttered, "I should never have let the dwarves make this."
"What is making the water move around like that?" Ms. Bird answered.
"I have no idea," Sean answered unable to find any mechanism responsible for it. He finished filling the tank with salt water.
"When are you getting your animals?" Ms. Bird asked.
"I'm going during my library period. I wanted to make sure that I had the habitat set up before getting them from the store," Sean answered.
"Which pet store are you going to?" Ms. Bird asked hoping to get a hint of what he was going to get. There were only two pet stores in the area and they both carried the normal salt water aquarium stock. She wondered if he was going to try raising a sponge.
Sean laughed at the question and said, "I would never do anything so obvious as to go to a pet store for a project like this."
"You wouldn't?" Ms. Bird asked.
"Nope," Sean answered shaking his head.
Ms. Bird asked, "Why not?"
"Everyone goes to the pet store. What kind of challenge is it to raise a pet? No challenge at all," Sean said smiling over at Ms. Bird.
"I guess," Ms. Bird said frowning. A lot of students had their projects die on them.
"I'll be the first of your students to raise these creatures," Sean said proudly.
"You don't say," Ms. Bird said.
"That's right. I'm also doing a report," Sean said.
"Really?" Ms. Bird said. She had never had a student raise a project and do a report for the class.
Nodding his head, Sean said, "I want to make sure that I get an A in this class."
"Will it be thorough?"
"Oh, I've got Mr. Booker ordering hundreds of articles about it. Such an exciting little creature," Sean said.
"Exciting?" Ms. Bird asked. She had students describe the subjects of their papers as interesting, but never exciting. She tried to think of something that someone would find exciting and came up blank.
"Very. I was on the edge of my seat reading about it."
"What are you doing your report on?"
Sean leaned over and, in the conspiratorial tone of voice that one might use when passing along a hot stock tip, said, "Sea Cucumbers."
"You find sea cucumbers exciting?" Ms. Bird asked wondering what Sean considered boring.
"Definitely," Sean said.
"They aren't noted for doing much of anything," Ms. Bird said trying to remember what she could of them. She remembered that they were of the starfish family, but couldn't remember any specifics.
"They eviscerate and shoot out Cuvierian tubules," Sean said.
"Remind me what that means again," Ms. Bird said. She must have missed the class where they covered sea cucumbers when she was in college because she was drawing an absolute blank concerning them now.
"They throw up and shoot tentacles out their ass," Sean said. He leaned over and whispered, "Believe it or not, it makes them very dangerous."
"That sounds disgusting," Ms. Bird commented.
"Quite," Sean said with a grin. The first bell rang and Sean said, "I must get off to my English class with Mr. Kindle."
"He teaches history," Ms. Bird said.
"I've got to start remembering that. I keep showing up to class with the wrong book," Sean said. He packed up his stuff and headed out the door. Looking over his shoulder, he said, "I'll be back after lunch. I should be able to make it to the Wiggly Pig and buy my project."
"That's a grocery store," Ms. Bird said staring at the door. She noticed Ms. Woodhill walk past with a stack of books in her hands. Shaking her head, she said, "Oh no. She's handing out poetry books again. I better tell the school nurse to start handing out condoms."
Sean ran into Sid on the way to class. Looking over at the young man, Sean said, "How's it going, Sid?"
Anita Huskings was over at her locker juggling her books. Sid managed to tear his eyes away from her long enough to answer, "I'm fine."
Frowning, Sean asked, "What's up with Anita?"
"She's pretty, isn't she?" Sid asked. He wished that he had enough nerve to go over to her and give her a hand.
"I suppose. Of course, Suzie is prettier," Sean said looking over at Anita. She was rather well developed in the chest area and had legs that went on forever. He thought the rest of her was a little skinny.
"Anita is gorgeous," Sid said.
"I guess," Sean said looking at Sid.
"She's real smart, too," Sid said. She wasn't mathematically inclined, but she did have one of the highest GPAs in school.
"I knew that she was an artist," Sean said.
"Yeah," Sid said. He sighed when she grabbed her stuff and left.
"I thought you and Bubbles were an item," Sean said.
Shaking his head, Sid said, "She's a nymph. I discovered you can't have a meaningful relationship with a nymph. There's just no depth to them."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Sean said.
"I wasn't the only guy she was letting catch her," Sid said.
"Oh, that's horrible," Sean said.
Sid shrugged his shoulders and said, "That's okay. I still chase her around on occasion."
Sean entered his history class and looked around the room to find Suzie seated in her normal place. He waved at Mr. Kindle and asked, "What are you talking about today?"
Mr. Kindle smiled and said, "We're going to cover a particularly favorite period of history of mine — the hundred year's war."
"Let me guess, it was a war that lasted a hundred years," Sean said.
"No. It was a hundred and sixteen years long," Mr. Kindle said.
"It makes you think."
"What makes you think?" Mr. Kindle asked.
"Most people think you should start the day looking forward to all that you have to accomplish and spend the evening thinking about what you've done. We start the day off by looking at the past," Sean said.
"Interesting observation," Mr. Kindle said.
Sean took his seat next to Suzie and said, "I've got to go out for lunch today."
"Can I go with you?" Suzie asked. She batted her eyes to assure that his answer would be yes.
"Yes," Sean said automatically. He was unable to deny any request from Suzie that was accompanied by a batting of her eyes. He thought about it for a second and realized that he couldn't resist any request from Suzie regardless of whether her eyes batted or not.
He settled into his chair. Much to his surprise, he found the hundred year's war to be totally boring. Usually, he could find something interesting in just about any topic. People did the strangest things and strange actions demanded comment. For a change, he was short of comments.
He opened his text book and stared at it. Doing something that he hadn't done in a while, he started thinking about how he was going to get some more gold for the next magic gift. The Dwarves had used all of his gold to coat his truck. His money was flying away at an ever increasing rate.
Thoughts about the next gift made him think about his current magic gift. He came to the rather remarkable conclusion that his use of it was rather limited. He could make things move. He could use light things to move heavier things. That's not to say that he couldn't accomplish some pretty amazing things with it. After all, he could pull a pretty good sized tree out of the ground.
He could also have things change their shape. So far, the only use that he had found for that was flattening soda cans. He wondered if he could use his magic to make little statues. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ball bearing. Cupping it in his hand, he ordered it to turn into a little statue of Suzie. The ball bearing turned into a remarkable accurate rendering of Suzie. Unfortunately, the figurine was naked. His eyes got wide on seeing it. He quickly changed it into a Dwarf before anyone had a chance to see it.
He stared at the perfect rendition of Chom thinking that he could really make a lot of money with that use of his talent. He slipped the little statue into his pocket thinking that he'd give it to Chom when he got home. Ideas of what he could to do make larger statues came to mind. With a lightweight plastic, he could make a pretty substantial sized statue and then cover it with metal.
He was still lost in thought when class came to an end. Suzie shook his arm to get his attention and said, "You really paid attention in class today."
"I was a little distracted. I hope no one noticed," Sean said.
"Everyone noticed," Suzie said. Mr. Kindle had called on Sean three times and had given up when Sean hadn't answered.
Mr. Kindle looked over at Sean and said, "I'm glad to see you're back among the living. Please pay attention in class. We missed your comments."
"Sorry," Sean said.
Mr. Kindle had seen students zone out before, but none of them had been as bad as Sean. He wasn't sure what to make of that. It was obvious that Sean had been thinking about something and it wasn't history. He hoped that Sean wasn't having problems in his life. He knew that a person with such a talented and creative mind would often find peer approval a very difficult thing to achieve. He asked, "Is there something bothering you?"
"No. I was just thinking about things," Sean said.
Mr. Kindle said, "If you need someone to talk with, I'm always available."
"Thanks, Mr. Kindle," Sean said.
"Let's get to class before we're late," Suzie said.
As they were walking to class, Max came over and said, "You won't believe who the new assistant football coach is."
"Ms. Woodhill?"
"How did you know?" Max asked.
"I talked about it with Coach Slaughter," Sean answered.
"I thought he hated you," Max said.
Looking around a little nervously, Sean said, "He probably does."
"This season is going to be a disaster," Max said thinking about having Ms. Woodhill acting as a coach.
"I don't think so," Suzie said.
The trio entered the English class. Smiling, Ms. Woodhill clapped her hands together and said, "Hello, Sean. How's my favorite student?"
"I'm fine," Sean answered. He leaned over to Max and said, "She's such a great teacher."
"She likes you," Max said shaking his head. Everyone knew that Ms. Woodhill was a flake. He wondered how she had become the assistant coach for the football team.
Ms. Woodhill looked at Max. The smile on her face instantly disappeared. In a stern voice, she said, "Mr. Baxter."
"Uh, yes," Max replied wondering what he had done wrong.
"You had better be ready to bust your balls on the football field this afternoon. Your ass is mine. We're having a double length practice today."
"Huh?" Max said staring at Ms. Woodhill in shock. Teachers didn't use language like that. Only coaches talked like that.
"We're going over the basics. You'd better be ready to drill, drill, and drill some more. You'll be lucky if you can walk by the time I'm done with you," Ms. Woodhill said.
"Uh," Max said looking over at Sean.
"You boys dance around on that field like girls at a prom. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be mean hard-hitting football players. Losing this Friday is not an option," Ms. Woodhill said shaking a fist.
"Are you feeling alright, Ms. Woodhill?" Max asked.
Ms. Woodhill rubbed her hands together and, with a look of real determination on her face, answered, "I'm feeling fine. We're not going to lose another game this year."
"Uh, we haven't won a game in years," Max said wondering who this stranger in the classroom was.
"Those days are over. You're going to be busting your ass on that field. If you don't, you'll be running laps and giving me pushups until you die," Ms. Woodhill said sounding a lot like a drill instructor.
"I think she's going to make a good coach," Sean said with a smile.
The bell rang. Ms. Woodhill turned around and in a sweet voice said, "Ah! It is time for us to discuss literature. Today, we're going to start with Romeo and Juliet. It is such a nice little love story despite the tragic ending."
Stunned, Max said, "Maybe we should be reading Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde."
Sean leaned over and said, "Boy. She sounds meaner than Coach Slaughter."
"Yeah," Max said stumbling to his chair.
"I know that teenagers just hate Shakespeare, but I think you'll come to enjoy it," Ms. Woodhill said. She danced around the room as if swinging a sword and said, "It has sword fights in it."
She clasped her hands together and held them over her heart. With a wistful expression on her face, she said, "It has love scenes of a sweet and tender nature."
She made an ugly face and said, "It has mean old parents trying to keep our lovers apart."
Acting as if she was stabbing herself with a knife, she said, "It has tragic deaths by suicide."
"Neat," Sean said.
"It has all of the stuff that makes a great story," Ms. Woodhill said.
Sean asked, "Does it have car chases?"
"Alas, that technology wasn't available at the time Shakespeare wrote this tale," Ms. Woodhill said. She grinned and added, "That would make an interesting assignment though. Why don't we write a scene including some modern element into the story?"
"Cool," Sean said writing down the assignment in his notebook.
In the back of the classroom, Tom groused, "That's another weird assignment we've got to do thanks to him."
"Be quiet. He'll hear you," Debbie warned.
Tom started to say something, but noticed the piece of paper on his desk start to move. He closed his mouth and stared at Sean. He still wasn't sure why that trashcan had followed him around that one day in the cafeteria, but he was pretty sure that Sean had something to do with it. One good thing had come out of that whole episode. He had gotten Debbie as a girlfriend.
After going over the first scene, Ms. Woodhill asked, "What do you think of the story so far?"
"Well, I wouldn't have used Juliet as the main female character," Sean said.
"Why?" Ms. Woodhill asked rather surprised by the comment.
"She's not as pretty as Suzie," Sean answered. Half of the class groaned on hearing that.
Ms. Woodhill beamed and said, "It looks like Suzie has quite an admirer."
"I do indeed," Suzie said smiling over at Sean.
"Has he started quoting poetry to you?" Ms. Woodhill asked patting a stack of books on her desk.
"No," Suzie said. When he started to open his mouth, she put a hand over it. Rolling her eyes, she said, "He found a book of limericks."
"That will never do," Ms. Woodhill said with a laugh. Ms. Woodhill went over to her desk and picked up a book. She handed it to Sean and said, "Try a few poems out of this."
"Yes, ma'am," Sean said. He looked over the title and said, "That's a real catchy title."
"What is the title?" Suzie asked.
"Poetry for Seducing Young Women," Sean answered reading the title aloud. It sounded a little risqué to him.
Snorting loudly from the back of the room, Tom said, "Seducing Young Women? It sounds to me like a book on how to get laid."
Ms. Woodhill said, "If you haven't figured it out by now, poetry is about putting into words those heartfelt emotions that we have such difficulties in expressing. The best poetry is about love. Young men who have a hard time saying how they really feel about a special woman can find the right poem that says all that they feel. A young woman who listens to a man recite a heartfelt poem becomes defenseless in the face of his emotions. Each word batters down the defensive no turning them quickly into yeses. Some young women even find that their desires exceed their ability to control them. Like a flower, they open themselves to be appreciated by the right young man."
"Huh?" Tom asked. He had not expected that answer.
Deciding that she wouldn't mind opening up a little, Debbie asked, "Could you loan Tom a copy of that?"
At the idea of reading poetry, Tom shook his head and said, "This is a disaster."
"Would you prefer if I gave him 'Poems of Seduction' or 'With this Gentle Word I Take Thee'?" Ms. Woodhill asked holding up two slender volumes in her hands.
"Poems of Seduction," Debbie answered.
Seeing the expression on Tom's face, she knew that he wasn't interested in this turn of events at all. She added, "I'm sure that you'll love them, Debbie. They are guaranteed to leave you panting in desire after the young man who reads them to you."
"Panting? I kind of like the sound of that," Tom said sitting up straight.
"The sensual imagery that a well chosen word can invoke ... let's just say that it is ... exciting," Ms. Woodhill said with a little shiver.
Tom raised his hand and said, "I'll take every book of poetry that you have."
"Don't get greedy," Ms. Woodhill said. She looked around the room and said, "There are lots of young men and women in this room who could use a little poetry in their lives."
Susan yawned.
Ms. Woodhill looked at Susan and said, "Susan, life just doesn't seem to interest you."
"There's nothing new," Susan replied. She wished the day was over.
Ms. Woodhill smiled and said, "I bet there is the spirit of a real tigress inside that bored body of yours just waiting for the right lion to free it."
Susan shrugged her shoulders and said, "I doubt it."
Ms. Woodhill picked up a book and handed it to Jerry. She leaned down and said, "Free the sexual tigress inside her."
Jerry opened the book and read the title of the first poem he found. Open mouthed, he said, "Parting the Gates of Heaven."
Susan sat up and asked, "What was that?"
"With a Simple Yes She Conquered Him," Jerry said reading the title of the next poem.
"Conquered?" Susan asked raising an eyebrow.
Jerry read the first few lines of the poem. Confused, he looked up and asked, "Is this about bondage?"
Leaning over to look at the book, Susan asked, "Can I see that?"
Ms. Woodhill interposed her body between the two young people and said, "Oh no dear. He has to read it to you for it to have its full effect."
Jerry read a few more lines and then said, "I'm not sure I'd like a woman to do that to me."
"What?" Susan asked trying to look around Ms. Woodhill.
"Look at how many guys have suddenly become interested in poetry. Didn't I tell you that she's a great teacher?" Sean asked leaning over to Suzie.
Suzie looked at Jerry's flushed face and said, "I hope he's up to it."
Holding out a book, Ms. Woodhill said, "Sid, I bet the words in this book would just overwhelm Anita Huskings."
"Anita?" Sid asked swallowing heavily.
"Yes," Ms. Woodhill said. Sid grabbed the book out of her hand. She grinned and said, "I'm sure she'd love the poem on page forty-two."
Max asked, "How about me? Do I get a book of poetry to read to my girlfriend?"
"Are you kidding? You've got football practice this afternoon," Ms. Woodhill said. She added, "You're going have to earn the approval of your girlfriend through hard work and sweat."
Sean leaned over to Suzie and said, "She's going to be a really good football coach."
"I think so," Suzie said just as the bell ending class rang.
Sean and Suzie arrived at math class. Sean held up the packet and said, "That sure was nice of the nurse to give us all of these condoms."
"I wonder why she did that."
"I don't know." Sean said. He looked around at the empty classroom and said, "It looks like we're the first to get here."
Mrs. West asked, "Where is everyone?"
"I saw Susan dragging Jerry away," Suzie answered. "I don't know where Sid is at the moment."
"I saw him talking to Anita," Sean said.
Looking at the condoms Sean was carrying, Mrs. West asked, "Was Ms. Woodhill handing out poetry books?"
"How did you know?" Sean asked thinking that there had to be a very effective rumor mill among the teachers of the school.
"We won't see any of your classmates for the rest of the day. I'm glad the nurse was handing out condoms. The first year Ms. Woodhill taught here we had six pregnancies," Mrs. West said. With only two students, there wasn't too much to do. She said, "I'm going to go grab a cup of coffee. Would you like me to bring anything back?"
"No thank you," Sean said. He watched Mrs. West leave the room.
Suzie looked over at Sean and asked, "So what happened during history class?"
Sean reached into his pocket and grabbed another ball bearing. Holding it in his hand, he ordered it to change into a statue of Suzie. He felt the metal change shape and then pulled it out of his pocket. He handed it to her and said, "I made this."
Suzie looked at the statue and turned red. She said, "I'm naked."
"I know," Sean said shrugging his shoulders. He hadn't thought to have the statue include clothes.
"It really looks like me," Suzie said looking at it closely. It was kind of strange to look at it. She wasn't used to seeing herself in that manner. It was one thing to look in a mirror or a photograph, but that didn't have that same three dimensional quality.
"It does, doesn't it," Sean said admiring his work.
"I'm kind of pretty," Suzie said taking in her shape.
"You're a lot pretty," Sean said. He realized that he could actually make the statue move and gave it the command.
Suzie jumped when the statue came to life in her hand. It started to adopt sexy poses. When it turned to give a sexy look at Sean, she couldn't believe it. Staring at it, she asked, "Is that how you see me?"
"That's how you are," Sean said with a smile.
"I'm sexy," Suzie said unable to believe how the statue looked.
"Very sexy," Sean said.
Licking her lips, Suzie asked, "Can I keep it?"
"Sure," Sean said. He looked at the statue and realized that it would stop moving as soon as it was out of range of his gift. He commanded it to adopt a very sexy, but modest, pose and froze it in that shape.
"Wow," Suzie said unable to believe what Sean had done.
Getting an idea, Sean reached into his pocket and took out another ball bearing. He commanded it to take his shape. He glanced down at the nude figurine of himself. Putting it into her hand, he said, "Watch."
Suzie watched what the two figurines were doing with each other for a minute. Who needed poetry? When her figurine grabbed the head of his figurine and pulled it into just the right spot, she said, "It is getting hot in here."
"I noticed the same thing," Sean said.
Watching the figurines wiggling around in the palm of her hand, she whispered, "I think I understand why the Dwarves and Fairies want to watch."
Sean looked around nervously and then said, "Let's leave school for a little bit."
"Yeah," Suzie said pulling on the front of her blouse to cool down. She looked at the condoms and said, "At least we don't need those."