Friday afternoon, Sean was at his desk writing a report on Napoleon when his mother stuck her head in his room. She said, "Chief Fastman is here to see you."
"I wonder what he wants," Sean said looking up from his computer.
"I don't know. Maybe you should ask him," his mother answered.
"Do you think he'll tell me?" Sean asked.
His mother answered, "I'm sure that he will. He came all this way just to talk to you."
"If you're so sure then maybe I should talk to him," Sean said. He saved his report. It wasn't long, but typing all of the references was killing him.
"That would be a good idea," his mother said. She added, "You might ask him if he's seen the Leprechauns. Mrs. Emery and I have had no luck finding them the past two days."
"I'll be sure to ask," Sean said. It had been rather peaceful around the house ever since the Dwarves had gone off with the policeman who had stopped him. The only magic creature that he'd seen since then was the Gnome. He was still standing in the backyard facing the movie screen.
Lily bounded into his room and asked, "Are we going to jail again?"
"I hope not," Sean said rising from his desk.
"I hope so. I kind of enjoy going there," Lily said.
Sean entered the living room followed by his mother and Lily. Chief Fastman looked over at Lily and said, "Hello, Lily."
"Are you going to take us to jail?" Lily asked hopefully.
"No, Lily. I'm just here to ask a favor from your brother," Chief Fastman answered.
"Oh," Lily said unhappy with the answer.
"What can I do for you?" Sean asked pleased to think that the police needed a favor from him.
With a little more desperation in his voice than he intended, Chief Fastman asked, "Can you take the Dwarves back?"
"Uh, why?" Sean asked. He had enjoyed driving around without the Dwarves climbing all over the truck for the past two days.
"Half of my officers are on the verge of nervous breakdowns. Every time they get in their patrol car, a Dwarf gets on top of it," Chief Fastman said. His officers were driving around town like little old ladies.
Sean asked, "Why don't you arrest them?"
"Uh, we did," Chief Fastman answered shifting nervously from one foot to the other.
"So what is the problem?" Sean asked with a frown. It seemed to him that the police should have had everything under control.
Chief Fastman said, "We threw them in the cell last night. When we came in this morning, all of the Dwarves were sitting around the office drinking coffee and eating our doughnuts."
"Did you forget to lock it?" Sean asked.
Looking embarrassed, the Chief answered, "They took it apart. In fact, they took apart both cells. We can't find the bars to put it back together again."
"Oh," Sean said. He looked over at his mother and said, "How embarrassing."
"Were the Leprechauns there?" his mother asked.
"We couldn't catch them," Chief Fastman said looking up at the ceiling. It had been like a scene from the Keystone Cops around the station house. He had personally erased the tapes taken of that little episode.
His mother said, "I've been trying to catch them for months. They are tricky little fellows."
"You can say that again," Chief Fastman said.
"They've got this trick they do with mud," his mother said.
"I know what you mean. I have no idea how so much mud got into the station. It is going to take us a week to clean it up," Chief Fastman said shaking his head.
"It sounds like you've had an interesting couple of days," Sean said scratching the back of his head.
"You might say that," Chief Fastman said. At least they had fared better than over at the town where the mall was located. They'd lost all of their patrol cars to the troll. It appeared that it didn't like police cars. He said, "It could have been worse."
There was the sound of banging from the backyard. It was accompanied by a couple of explosions. Sean, his mother, and Lily looked towards the back of the house. Lily said, "They're back."
"Uh, did you say that they took all of the bars from the cell?" Sean asked. A rather bad idea was forming in the back of his mind.
"Yes," Chief Fastman answered drawing the word out. He afraid to hear what Sean was going to say next. He jumped when there was another bang.
"You're not going to like this," Sean said.
"What?" Chief Fastman asked.
As another explosion went off in the backyard, Sean said, "I think they are building their own car."
"Oh, God," Chief Fastman said going over to a chair and sitting down. He had visions of the Dwarves racing around on their own. It seemed to him that the noise from the backyard was getting louder or maybe it was just the pounding in his ears.
"There wouldn't happen to be an unused road with a good bump in it around here, would there?" Sean asked. The idea of driving on a road with the Dwarves loose scared him more than he was willing to admit.
"There's an old logging road not far from here," Chief Fastman said.
"You might want to show them where it is," Sean said.
"That's a good idea," Chief Fastman said.
Sean's mother looked up at the ceiling and said, "That's a very good idea, Sean. I'll even put some benches there for them to sit on."
Lily looked at her mother suspiciously. She asked, "What are you going to do?"
"I think a little superglue on a chair might hold a leprechaun in place long enough to catch it," her mother answered.
Chief Fastman said, "I don't think that is a good idea. They are tricky little fellows."
"You're liable to find yourself stuck to the seat," Lily said.
"Don't be silly," her mother answered with a dismissive wave of her hand.
The backdoor opened and Chom walked into the kitchen. Sean, his mother, and Lily leaned over to watch him through the living room door. Chom went over to the table and picked up the salt shaker. He turned around and walked from the kitchen. Sean looked over at the policeman and said, "Chom just got some salt."
"What does that mean?" Chief Fastman asked. He jumped when there was a loud bang from the backyard.
"I think it means that they just finished building a car," Sean said.
"I better get out there," Chief Fastman said.
There was another bang from the backyard and the sound of tires spinning. Sean said, "Too late. They're gone."
"I better go after them," Chief Fastman said.
"I wonder where they got tires," Sean said scratching the back of his neck.
Chief Fastman looked out the front window and sighed. He said, "Can I use your phone?"
Saturday morning, Sean was at his desk typing a second report for his history class just in case the first one hadn't been good enough. He was particularly proud of this one. His mother stuck her head in the door and said, "Chief Fastman is here to talk to you."
"I wonder what he wants," Sean said looking up from his computer.
"I don't know. Maybe you should ask him," his mother answered.
"Do you think he'll tell me?" Sean asked.
His mother answered, "I'm sure that he will. He came all this way just to talk to you."
"If you're so sure then maybe I should talk to him," Sean said. He saved his report. It was pretty long, but at least there weren't many references.
Lily bounded into his room and asked, "Are we going to jail?"
"I hope not," Sean said rising from his desk.
"I hope so. I kind of enjoy going there," Lily said.
Sean entered the living room followed by his mother and Lily. Chief Fastman looked over at Lily and said, "Hello, Lily."
"Are you going to take us to jail?" Lily asked hopefully.
"No, Lily. I'm just here to ask your brother some questions," Chief Fastman answered.
"I'm really disappointed," Lily said unhappy with the answer.
"Sorry," Chief Fastman said.
"What kind of questions?" Sean asked wondering what he might know that would interest the police.
Unable to believe the story he had been told earlier that morning, Chief Fastman answered, "I talked to Mr. Charmers this morning."
"How is Principal Charmers?" Sean said.
"He's worried," Chief Fastman answered.
"Why?"
"It appears that two of your teachers disappeared."
"Which ones?" Sean asked.
"Ms. Hawkins and Coach Slaughter," Chief Fastman answered.
"That's odd. They were together when I left the gym the other afternoon," Sean said.
"When was this?" Chief Fastman asked opening his pad of paper.
"Oh, right after winning the pushup contest. I had just finished taking my shower and stopped by Coach Slaughter's office," Sean answered.
"I heard about your pushup contest," Chief Fastman said. According to his timeline, Sean would have been the last one to talk to the missing teachers.
Sean posed like a bodybuilder and said, "It is hard to believe that I was born with such a great physique, isn't it?"
"Uh, yes," Chief Fastman said wondering if Sean was all there. He still couldn't believe what Mr. Charmers had said about how many pushups Sean had done. He shook his head and asked, "Did you talk to them?"
"Well, I talked to Ms. Hawkins," Sean answered.
"Could you tell me what she said?"
Sean said, "I stopped by to tell the coach that it was nice knowing him, but Ms. Hawkins was there. I mentioned something about how I would have taken my shower with my clothes on if I had known that she had been in the boy's dressing room. I remember asking her if Coach Slaughter was dead, but she said that he was sleeping. Then I mentioned that someone should take him home and put him to bed. She agreed with me on that. I asked if I should get Principal Charmers, but she said that she'd take care of it."
"You thought he was dead?" Chief Fastman asked jotting down some notes in his pad of paper. This case was beginning to look a whole lot more interesting.
"He wasn't moving," Sean said. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "He's a pretty active guy and he was just slumped there in his chair with his head on the desk."
"Okay," Chief Fastman said. "Do you recall anything else?"
"No. I went out to my truck and headed off to work with Suzie. That's when I got the ticket for having Dwarves in the back of my truck," Sean answered.
Chief Fastman said, "Speaking of that. We'll take care of that little ticket."
"Really?" Sean asked wide-eyed.
"Yes," Chief Fastman said. He had an appointment with the Mayor that afternoon to ask for some money to replace the jail cell. That was one meeting he was looking forward to with more than a little dread. He mumbled, "The less said about that little incident the better."
"Okay," Sean said.
Chief Fastman closed his notebook and said, "If I have any more questions, I'll come back here."
"Always a pleasure to help out one of our men in blue," Sean said.
"Thank you," Chief Fastman said suppressing a smile.
Sean looked at his mother and, shaking a finger at her, said, "Do you see how nice it is when you cooperate with the police rather than argue with them? He even took care of my ticket. I've talked to Chief Fastman twice now and I haven't ended up in jail. I hope you've learned something from all of this."
"Be quiet," his mother said.
Lily said, "I like going to the jail. It is fun there. They have lollipops."
Chief Fastman said, "I better go now."
The second movie of the night was playing in the backyard. All of the usual suspects were gathered there watching the film. The Dwarves, Leprechauns, Fairies, and the Gnome were in their usual places. They had been joined by the Elves. Lily was in bed. Max and Clea had snuck off to his house. Sean and Suzie had snuck back to her house.
Suzie was atop Sean making little squeaks. Little silk scarves flew around her; teasing her body with little caresses. When she wasn't squeaking, she was urging Sean on with demands, "Hik hock cuch muck."
"Bling blang blung," Sean answered in reply while his eyes rolled back in his head.
"Ingy ding," Suzie said. She had no idea that particular spot was so sensitive. She squeaked again.
"Umga," Sean said. He thrust up and then passed out. Suzie fell atop him while the scarves continued to stroke her body.
When Sean came to, Suzie moaned, "Make them stop."
Sean commanded the silk scarves to stop. They dropped to the bed. Suzie rolled off of Sean and said, "Oh my."
"Wow," Sean said breathing heavy.
A little giggle from the side of their bed captured Suzie's attention. She looked over at the source of the giggles and said, "There are naked women in my room."
"That's nice," Sean said absently.
"I'm serious. There are naked women in my bedroom," Suzie said.
Sean stroked her and said, "I only have eyes for you."
"I'm serious," Suzie said. She made a little shooing gesture towards the naked women. They just giggled in response.
"Who cares if there are other women here besides you?" Sean asked staring at Suzie's breast.
Suzie looked over at Sean and realized he hadn't taken his eyes off of her. She looked back at the nymphs. They were the epitome of cute and she didn't like that at all. She said, "I care. I'm supposed to be the only naked woman in the room."
Sean looked up and spotted a half of a dozen naked women. Surprised, he said, "You're right. There are naked women in your room."
"They aren't supposed to be here," Suzie said.
He said, "Hello."
He was greeted with a chorus of hellos. Noticing that the women had blue or green hair, he asked, "Who and what are you?"
"Who and what are you?" one of the women asked.
"I'm Sean and this is Suzie. We are humans."
"I'm Ivy."
"Fern."
"Willow."
"We're wood nymphs," Ivy said.
"I'm Brook."
"Bubbles."
"Misty."
"We're water nymphs," Brook said.
Sean said, "It is nice meeting you."
"The nymphs are back," Suzie said shaking her head wondering when Sean was going to jump over her and start chasing them.
Sean said, "The Dwarves are down the path watching a movie. Why don't you join them?"
"Aren't you going to chase us?" Willow asked sounding a little disappointed.
"I knew it," Suzie said growling at the nymphs.
"No, I've already got a girlfriend," Sean said.
"Okay," Ivy said.
"Have fun."
"I'd like to have fun with him."
"He's mine," Suzie said grabbing onto Sean.
"She's got him and she's not going to let him go."
"Pity."
"He looks like he'd be fun."
"She looks satisfied."
"More than satisfied."
"Maybe we should stay and watch."
"Go," Suzie said pointing towards the door.
"Okay."
Sean turned to Suzie and kissed her. He looked over at where the nymphs had been and said, "They're gone."
"That's good. What were we doing before we were interrupted," Suzie asked thinking that she was really going to reward him for sending the nymphs away.
"Uh, that," Sean said when her hand reached a rather private spot. He nibbled on her ear.
Suzie squeaked and said, "I love it when you do that. Do it again."
"Anything you say," Sean said taking another nibble on her ear.
"Mount me," Suzie moaned. She grabbed him and pulled him atop her before he had a chance to react.
An hour later, Sean stumbled home on rubbery legs. He sat down at the concession stand just as the movie ended. He looked over at the peanut gallery. The nymphs jumped up, the dwarves jumped up, and the chase was on. Sean looked over at the little go-cart the Dwarves had made and said, "I doubt they'll remember about that for a while."
He went over and started picking up the area. His mother came over and asked, "Where's Suzie?"
"She's at home," Sean answered.
"That's nice. Did you have a fun evening?" his mother asked.
"Yes," Sean answered.
His mother looked around for a moment and then asked, "What was with all of the naked women?"
"The nymphs are back," Sean said.
Nodding her head, she said, "I'm glad."
"Why?"
"Your father was an animal tonight," his mother said with a private little smile.
"I don't want to hear that," Sean said looking at his mother in horror.
"Mrs. Emery was quite happy," his mother said.
"What?" Sean asked incredulous. He covered his ears and started shouting, "La, La, La. I can't hear you. La, La, La. I'm not listening."
"Ah, isn't that cute. He hasn't thrown a tantrum like that in almost a week," his mother said with a smile.
Still covering his ears, Sean headed towards the house. While he walked, he shouted, "La, la, la. I can't hear you."
Mrs. Emery said, "What's with Sean?"
"Oh, I think I embarrassed him."
"How?"
"I was just about to tell him that your husband was an animal this evening."
"He was, wasn't he?"
"You sure squeaked a lot tonight."
"You and God had quite a conversation."
"What can I say?"
"Did you manage to ask about the naked women?"
"He said the nymphs are back."
"I hadn't known they were gone."