Sean had a paper plane floating around the room doing acrobatics when his mother entered his bedroom carrying the change jar. She watched the plane flutter to the floor and shook her head. She asked, "Can't you find something better to do?"
"I'm grounded, remember?" Sean asked. He'd been forced to stay at home all week except for his excursions to the store.
"Well, Max is up and around now so I guess your grounding can come to an end," his mother said.
"Gee, I'm thrilled," Sean said thinking about what he'd find on his next trip to the store. Max was going to be out for blood. He said, "He's going to kill me."
"You boys used to play together when you were kids," his mother said.
"That was before his body started producing excessive quantities of testosterone and he got dumb," Sean said.
His mother handed the change jar to him with a groan and said, "It is allowance day."
"Thanks, Mom," Sean said taking the change jar from her. It was a gallon pickle jar that his dad had picked up from somewhere on his travels. When it was filled with coins it felt like it weighed a ton.
"I'll need the jar back," his mom said before closing the door.
"I know," Sean said to the empty room. He dumped some of the coins out on his desk. He started sorting the coins using the magic to have the coins flip over. As he checked the coins, he sent them to the jars at one edge of his desk. The pennies went into the penny jar, the nickels into the nickel jar, the dimes into the dime jar, and the quarters went into the quarter jar.
Using his magic gift, checking the coins went a lot faster than usual. He was amazed at how much time it used to take to turn over the coins. Having them flip to the right orientation was very convenient. In the whole jar of coins, he found one that he didn't already have. It was actually a pretty good day.
Once he was finished, he sat back and looked at the coin jars. They were all pretty full. He thought about counting them, but decided that it was a whole lot easier having the clerk at the store count them. He grabbed the penny jar. He reached inside and grabbed a handful of pennies. He stuffed his pockets until they looked like the cheeks of a chipmunk. Patting his pants, he said, "That ought to be enough for the next trip to the store."
It was the first trip after receiving his allowance despite the fact that it was his third trip of the day to the store and it wasn't even lunch time. Sean entered the store and went over to the shelves where the groceries were located. He picked up a can of soup and took it to the counter. The clerk asked, "Did it ever occur to you that it was possible to buy more than one thing at a time?"
"That would be too easy," Sean answered. He wasn't going to say that his mother sent him to the store over and over.
"You're a real pain in the ass," Sam said looking at the bulge in Sean's pants. He knew what that meant.
"Ring it up," Sean said.
The clerk scanned the can of soup and hit total on the cash register. Hating what he was about to say, he said, "Seventy four cents."
Sean reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of pennies. He dropped them on the counter and asked, "How many is that?"
"Don't make me do this," the clerk said staring at the stack of pennies.
"They are legal tender," Sean said.
"You can have the can of soup," Sam said.
Shaking his head, Sean said, "It would be a crime for me not to pay."
"I hate you," Sam said starting to count out the pennies. He knew that this was only the beginning of three days of torture. For the next three days he would be getting paid for every purchase with a ton of change.
"You can't hate me," Sean said.
"Why not?" Sam asked looking over Sean.
Sean smiled and answered, "Because I have dimples when I smile."
"I need eighteen more cents," Sam said knowing that it was useless to argue.
"You might want to count that twice, just to make sure there isn't a mistake," Sean said. He was half tempted to make the pennies move around, but resisted the temptation. He reached into his pocket and took some more pennies out.
"Put the pennies on the counter and I'll count them out," Sam said.
Sean put the pennies on the counter. The clerk counted out eighteen cents and added it to the pile of pennies. Rolling his eyes, he pulled the pennies out of the pile by twos counting aloud, "Two, Four, Six, Eight, Ten..."
If Sean was of a slightly meaner character, he would have started calling out random numbers just to see if the clerk could stay focused. He wasn't, but that didn't prevent him from entertaining the idea. Of course, the clerk was expecting him to do that and Sean's silence was beginning to unnerve him.
The clerk stopped counting and looked up at Sean. He said, "I know what is going to happen. You're going to come in here twenty times a day and pay for individual purchases with a mountain of change. I am going to get a line of grumpy people wanting to pay for their coffees in the morning while I'm counting a mountain of change so that you can buy a stupid box of cereal or something. You know that the till won't hold all of the change."
"That's how it goes. I get my allowance in change," Sean said.
"That's stupid. No one gets their allowance in change," Sam said staring at Sean.
"I do," Sean said.
"Why?"
Grinning, Sean said, "That's how I want it."
Sam finished counting out the pennies and put them in the till. Knowing that he was going to be counting change for the next few days, he asked, "How much is your allowance?"
"I don't know," Sean said.
"What do you mean, you don't know?" Sam asked incredulously.
"If you got paid in change, would you want to count it?" Sean asked.
Sean left Sam stuttering at the counter. Stepping outside, he spotted Suzie walking up to the store. He said, "Hello Suzie."
Suzie looked at Sean and asked, "Allowance day?"
"How did you know?" Sean asked.
"You always walk around looking like you robbed the parking meter on allowance day," Suzie answered.
"Oh," Sean said.
"You know, you might want to change how you get your allowance," Suzie said.
"I like getting it in change," Sean said, "I collect coins. I convert my allowance to bills after I've checked all of the coins."
"How do you do that?" Suzie asked staring at his bulging pockets.
"I keep the bills Mom gives me for shopping and spend the coins," Sean answered.
"After you check the coins, why don't you take them to the bank across the street and get them changed into bills?" Suzie asked.
Sean looked blank trying to come up with a good answer to that question. He was having a little difficulty since the thought of doing that had never come to him before. Looking at him, Suzie burst out in laughter and said, "You never thought of doing that, have you?"
"Uh," Sean said, "No."
"No wonder Sam hates you," Suzie said laughing.
"I always thought that he didn't like my wry sense of humor," Sean said.
Suzie shook her head and said, "I don't know who is weirder, you or your mother."
"Mom is okay," Sean said.
"She sends you to the store a hundred times a day," Suzie said pointing out one of the more obvious ways in which his mother was a little different. She knew that she was exaggerating, but his frequent trips to the store were a common topic of conversation among the kids she knew. It was one of those things that gave him the reputation of being odd.
"She doesn't like shopping," Sean said.
Suzie said, "You don't think it is weird that a woman doesn't like to shop?"
"I never thought about it," Sean said.
Suzie grabbed his hand and said, "Come in the store with me while I get a drink. You can walk me home."
"Okay," Sean said looking down at his hand unable to believe that he was actually holding hands with Suzie. He was pretty sure that she had no idea what effect she had on him.
Suzie pulled him into the store. Although she could talk about his mother all day long, she had more pressing things to talk about it. She said, "I heard that Max is looking for you."
"He knows where to find me," Sean said shrugging his shoulders. Considering that he walked behind Max's house several times a day, it was almost a given where Max would find him.
"He's going to kill you," Suzie said in a concerned voice. She walked over to the cooler pulling Sean along by the hand. Much to his disappointment, she let go of his hand to get the drink out of the cooler. She picked out a diet drink and turned to face Sean. Concerned for his safety, she said, "Don't walk here alone."
"Don't worry about me," Sean said.
Afraid of what would happen when Max and Sean met on the path, Suzie said, "You know how Max is."
"I know," Sean said following her to the counter. He patted his pants and, hearing the rattle of hundreds of pennies, said, "Let me buy you that drink."
Upon hearing Sean's offer, Sam shouted, "No!"
Sean shook his head and said, "You'd think they would hire people who aren't afraid of money to work at the cash register."
"You're right," Suzie said with a smile.
"It's on the house," Sam said.
Dumping a handful of pennies on the counter, Sean said, "Don't make me look bad in front of the lady. I offered to buy her a drink and I don't need you to ruin the gesture."
Giving up, Sam counted out the change. At least there wasn't a line of people waiting. He knew that it was going to be bad the next morning when Sean showed up to buy cereal or something with three hundred pennies. He put the money in the register and said, "Don't come back."
"Service in this country is going downhill," Sean said ruefully.
Deciding that a graceful retreat would be better than a ten minute battle of words, Suzie grabbed Sean's hand and led him out of the store. Sean went along quite easily. Of course, Suzie could have told him to get down on all fours and bark like a dog and he would have happily done it. Outside, Suzie said, "Walk me home."
"Sure," Sean said enjoying holding hands with her.
They had walked a little way into the woods when Suzie asked, "Are you looking forward to being a senior?"
"I guess," Sean said unenthusiastically.
"You should be excited. We're going to be seniors," Suzie said wondering why he wasn't more excited.
Sean said, "I don't see how it is going to be any different than any other year in school."
"We're going to be the top dogs at school. We'll be the seniors. Freshmen will tremble when we walk past," Suzie said. She looked over at him and said, "Okay. That was a bit of an exaggeration."
"You're forgetting who you're talking to. Last year the freshmen stuffed me in the cafeteria trash can," Sean said.
"No they didn't," Suzie said with a laugh.
"Okay, but you know what I mean," Sean said.
Suzie was quiet for a moment and then said, "I know. You're just a little too eccentric for kids our age."
"Eccentric. I rather like the sound of that," Sean said.
"That's a highbrow way of saying batty," Suzie said nudging him with her hip.
"Batty. I rather like the sound of that," Sean said with a smile.
"You would," Suzie said with a sharp laugh. She slowed down at the junction of a path with the one they were on. She said, "We're at my house."
"I know," Sean said. The path ran behind all of the houses along their street. It ended behind the convenience store. All of the kids who lived along the street used the path to travel to the convenience store. The woods were part of a state nature preserve and were used by all of the kids for exploration, tree forts, and other activities.
Suzie turned to Sean and said, "Watch out for Max. You know how he is."
"I'll be careful," Sean said.
"Maybe you can come over for a swim later," Suzie said.
"I don't think your mother likes me," Sean said. He wasn't going to add that he didn't think he would survive seeing Suzie in a swimsuit.
"She likes you," Suzie said.
Sean looked at Suzie and asked, "What does she call me?"
"The Witless Wonder," Suzie answered with a grin.
"That's right," Sean said.
Suzie was convinced that it was her mother's way of keeping anything romantic from developing between them. She said, "She's just teasing."
"I'm sure that's it," Sean said wondering if Suzie really expected him to believe it.
Suzie said, "Come over around three, okay?"
"Okay," Sean said knowing that he was going to regret it.
Suzie ran down the path to her house leaving Sean staring at her retreating figure. He said, "If I jack off before getting there, that should get me through the first five minutes of seeing her in a bathing suit."
Sean continued down the trail taking extra care as he passed behind Max's house. Much to his relief, there was no sign of Max. He headed home wondering how he was going to survive the afternoon.
Sean entered the house through the back door. He handed his mother the can of soup and headed over to the counter where the dollar was lying. He picked it up and went to his bedroom. Opening the desk drawer, he placed the dollar bill in drawer with the rest of his money. The drawer was stuffed with dollar bills. He looked at the bills and said, "I wonder how much is in there."
He looked over at his coin jars and said, "Maybe I ought to take Suzie's advice and take my coins to the bank. It would be a lot easier on my pockets just to get cash for them."
Sean went out into the kitchen and scrounged around until he found two empty coffee cans. They were the modern plastic kind. He took them back to his room and filled them with coins. Holding one in each hand, he went downstairs and called out, "I'm going to the bank."
"Why?"
"Suzie told me that I could change the coins into bills at the bank," Sean answered.
"I wondered when you were going to figure that one out," his mother said.
"Thanks for telling me," Sean said.
His mother replied, "What are mothers for if not to help their children?"
"I hadn't thought about it like that," Sean said shaking his head. He added, "That is a question that will keep me up until the wee hours of the morning."
His mother was about to reply when something clicked in the back of her mind. She asked, "Did you say that Suzie told you that?"
"Yes. She also invited me to go swimming this afternoon," Sean said.
Wondering how Suzie's mother felt about that, she said, "Suzie must be looking forward to watching someone drown this afternoon. You should be quite entertaining when you go down for the third time."
"I've been practicing in the bathtub. I should manage to last four times before it gets exciting," Sean said.
"You better run to the bank," his mother said.
Sean turned to go and then stopped. Frowning, he asked, "Are you trying to get rid of me?"
"Why would I want to do that?" his mother asked trying to look surprised.
"So you can call Suzie's mother and warn her that I'm coming over," Sean said.
"You are so suspicious," his mother said trying to look innocent.
"Me? Not at all. What are mothers for if not to help their children?" Sean replied. He knew that he had scored with that one.
"Run along to the bank and turn your hard-earned coins into nice crisp bills," his mother said. She could hardly wait to get on the telephone.
"I'm going," Sean said.
The bank had a line waiting for the next available teller. Sean knew that it was the line for the next available teller since there was a sign saying exactly that. It wasn't a long line since there were just two people, but there was only one teller. Sean got into line thinking that the coins had somehow gotten heavier the further he had walked. He put the cans on the floor at his feet. The man in front of him asked, "Breaking into your piggy bank?"
"No. I'm cashing my allowance," Sean answered.
The person said, "Oh. You must be the Michaels boy."
"That's right," Sean said wondering how many people in this town knew that he was paid his allowance in coins.
The man looked down at the two coffee cans and said, "I heard you were weird."
"Some legends only grow with the telling," Sean said.
The man laughed and shook his head. He said, "Your mother must be a saint to put up with you."
"Not really. She just sends me to the store a lot," Sean said.
The man went up to the teller and did his banking business. Another person got in line behind Sean. He turned to look at the woman. She looked down at his feet and asked, "Did you break into your piggy bank?"
"No. I'm cashing my allowance," Sean answered.
The woman was silent for a second and then said, "You must be the Michaels boy."
"Score another one for having a reputation that extends far and wide," Sean said.
"My daughter says that you aren't quite all there," the woman said.
Sean patted his body frantically for a second and then said, "It seems to be all here. Are you sure that she wasn't talking about someone else?"
"Positive," the woman said.
"Who is your daughter?" Sean asked.
"Terry. Terry Jones," she answered.
Sean nodded his head and said, "If there is anyone who is all there, it is your daughter. She's got some of the best parts in the county."
"Thank you, I think," the woman said frowning.
"You're welcome, I think," Sean said turning to face the front of the line.
When it was his turn, he set the two coffee cans on the counter and said, "I'd like to change these coins into crisp new bills."
The woman behind the counter asked, "Do you have an account with us?"
"Yes, I do," Sean answered.
"Do you know your account number?"
Sean frowned and then shook his head. He answered, "No, I don't."
"I'll have to look up your account on the computer," the woman said.
"The name is Sean Connery Michaels."
The woman typed on the keyboard. It seemed to Sean that there was an awful lot of typing going on for such a simple task. The woman looked up and said, "Your savings account has $11.36 in it and has been inactive for almost seven years."
"Is that bad?" Sean asked.
"They will close it after seven years of inactivity and turn the money over to the state," the woman answered.
"That is bad," Sean said.
"You'll need some activity on the account to keep it open," she said.
Sean nodded his head thinking about it. Shaking a finger at the computer monitor, he said, "Bad naughty slothful savings account. I am so embarrassed by your laziness. How could you do this to me? The state is going to come and lock you up in some sort of savings account prison for loitering. Now get up and do something."
The woman laughed and said, "That's not what I meant."
"Is there some sort of exercise program for savings accounts in which I could enroll it?"
"You need to deposit some money in it," she said.
Sean exhaled loudly and said, "Let's count all of these coins and see how much I can deposit."
The woman picked up the two cans and started to walk away. Sean said, "Where are you going? Aren't you going to count it out here?"
"No. I'm taking it to the coin machine. It'll take a minute," the clerk said.
"Oh," Sean said.
After a few minutes the woman returned and said, "That was $33.27. How much of that do you want to deposit?"
"Twenty-seven cents," Sean answered.
"Twenty-seven cents?"
"Is that too much?" Sean answered.
"A little more would be better," the woman said.
Sean stood there for a second and then remembered all of the pennies in his pockets. He started pulling the pennies out and said, "We can deposit these."