"We're going to be showing a movie tonight," Sean said into the telephone.
Max said, "I can't go."
"Why not?" Sean asked.
There was a long moment of silence and then Max answered, "My mother thinks I stole some of her clothes."
"Oh," Sean said with a sinking feeling in his stomach.
"I didn't," Max said. His voice sounded like he had cupped a hand around the handset so that it wouldn't carry into the room.
There was a loud screech in the background and then the voice of Max's mother shouting,
"Don't lie!"
"I've got to go. Let Clea know," Max said just before hanging up the phone.
Sean stared at the telephone handset for a second before hanging it up on the wall phone. He hadn't imagined that Max would get blamed for the missing leather clothes. He sighed and said, "I guess it is up to me to make things right."
"What do you have to make right?" his mother asked.
"Max's mother thinks Max stole her leather clothes," Sean answered.
"What are you going to do?" his mother asked.
"I guess I'll explain that the Brownies stole them so that the Leprechauns could make leather seat covers for my truck that the Dwarves were fixing," Sean answered. Saying it like that really sounded crazy. He'd be lucky if he didn't end up in the psyche ward of the local hospital.
"Ah. Good luck," his mother said shaking her head.
Sean went outside and found the Dwarves lying around on the ground with swollen bellies from the chips and sodas. Chom belched and said, "Oh my, that was good."
Ignoring Chom, Sean looked over at Clea and said, "Max can't make the movie tonight."
"Why not?" Clea asked with a frown. She was looking forward to a little chase before the movie started. She sat up and looked at Sean.
"He's grounded," Sean answered.
"What does that mean?" Chom asked with a puzzled expression on his face.
Pip said, "I'm lying on the ground. Does that mean I'm grounded?"
"He's being punished," Sean said.
"I really don't like the sound of that. It sounds a lot like getting ground between two heavy grindstones like wheat getting turned into flour," Clea said folding her arms across her chest.
"Being grounded means that he's not allowed to leave the house. It is a common punishment,"
Sean answered.
"Punished for what?" Clea asked getting angry. She wasn't sure who she was angry at, but she was not happy about her date with Max getting canceled. He was the only male within a hundred miles who was paying attention to her.
"His parents think he stole his mother's leather clothes," Sean answered.
Shocked at the suggestion that Max was getting blamed for stealing the clothes, Clea said, "He didn't do that."
Shrugging his shoulders, Sean said, "His mother doesn't know that."
"Oh," Clea said.
"I am going to go over there and explain what happened," Sean said.
Clea said, "Good."
"She's not going to be happy. I think that she really liked those clothes," Sean said. He hoped that the Dwarves didn't ask for details about why she might really like clothes with holes in them. He wasn't sure that he could explain it to them.
She looked over at Liam and said, "We should never have asked the Brownies for the leather outfits."
Pip said, "It is too late to return them."
"If I had some good leather, I could make new ones without holes," Liam said.
Clea didn't like the idea of giving someone perfectly good clothes for having taken ones with holes in them. She asked, "Do you have any leather left?"
"Just a little," Agar answered.
"Is there enough to make one of those outfits for me?" Clea asked.
"Not really," Liam answered.
Agar said, "We'd have to leave some holes in it to get the general outfit right."
"Make one for me that was just like one we used. Put the holes in the same place. When she sees how ridiculous it looks, she won't be upset that we used them," Clea said.
"I don't think that is a good idea," Sean said.
"It sounds like a great idea to me," Pip said.
"I'll give her a piece of my mind if she doesn't stop punishing Max. We've got a date tonight,"
Clea said.
Sean looked around and realized that the two Leprechauns were missing. He looked back and discovered Clea was gone as well. Having no idea how long it would take them to come up with the outfit he groaned and said, "I better get over to the Baxter's house right away."
Sean took off at a run for the path. He hoped that if he ran fast enough that he'd beat Clea there. The rest of the Dwarves ran along behind expecting to see quite a show. Noticing that he had a herd following him, Sean stopped and turned to face them. He said, "There's no need for you to go along."
"That's true," Pip said nodding his head vigorously.
"We want to watch the fireworks," Chom said rubbing his hands together excitedly.
Pip said, "I've never seen Clea that angry. There's going to be lots of fireworks."
Grum said, "This is going to be spectacular."
"Bang, boom," Pip said waving his arms around.
"Besides, she's going to really look stupid in that outfit," Thur said. The other Dwarves all nodded their heads in agreement.
Sean said, "Hey. That's not very nice."
"Clea is always doing weird things about her appearance," Chom said.
Pip said, "Do you remember seven hundred years ago when she wore that ivy in her hair in an attempt to look pretty only to discover that it was poison ivy?"
"That was a good one," Chom said laughing.
Thur said, "I laughed for a hundred years on that one."
"How about that time when she got dyed purple?" Chom asked.
"That was funny," Pip said laughing.
"Remember when she cut off her beard?" Thur asked.
"That was so stupid. Who ever heard of a female dwarf without a beard?" Grum asked shaking his head.
Pip said, "We better get over there before we miss the show."
The reminder of his mission caused Sean to take off in a run. The path that he had taken several times a day seemed to be twice as long as he remembered. He reached the fork in the path and headed towards the house. The Dwarves thundered along behind him. One or another would make a comment about how Clea would look in her clothes and they'd pause to laugh a bit.
Sean reached the backdoor of the Baxter's house too late. Clea was already there knocking on the door. She was wearing a tight leather corset with her breasts hanging out. The little garter straps dangled around her legs. She was not wearing any underwear and her bare ass was exposed for everyone to see. Ruining the overall effect for Sean was the thin beard nestled between the breasts.
He arrived at the door just as it opened. Mrs. Baxter stood at the door with an expression on her face that threatened to curdle milk. Looking at Sean, she said, "Max is grounded."
"I know," Sean said looking up at the tall woman. Despite her height, she was wearing high heels that made her even taller. She had her jet black hair tied back in a tight bun. The only word that came to mind was formidable.
There was an impatient tapping on Mrs. Baxter's knee. She looked down and saw Clea for the first time. In a voice that could have shattered glass, Mrs. Baxter screamed. Looking up at the woman, Clea screamed. Hearing the screams, Mr. Baxter came charging to the backdoor with Max close on his heels.
Mr. Baxter looked around at the Dwarves standing behind Sean and shouted, "Oh my God! Sean is the head of a gang of midgets!"
"They're not midgets. They are Dwarves," Sean said hoping to defuse the issue a bit.
"Dwarves?" Mrs. Baxter asked looking over the assembly of little people.
Mr. Baxter stared at Clea open mouthed. The beard put him off a little, but the outfit definitely had his attention. Mrs. Baxter noticed and her control immediately returned. In a sharp voice, she said, "Down boy."
Mr. Baxter dropped to his knees and hugged his wife's leg. The sudden change in his position allowed Max his first clear look at Clea. Eyes wide, Max licked his lips and said, "I like it."
"Why is Max grounded?" Clea demanded. She stood there with her legs spread and her hands on her hips.
"He took some of my clothes," Mrs. Baxter answered glaring down at the small woman.
"No he didn't. The Brownies took your clothes," Clea said.
"I want them back," Mrs. Baxter said. She wasn't going to ask why little girls who sold cookies would take her fetish attire.
"Why?" Clea asked. She glanced over at Max and noticed that he was staring at her glassy eyed.
"They are very expensive," Mrs. Baxter said.
Clea snorted and said, "What are you talking about? I'm wearing an outfit that is an exact duplicate of one that the Brownies took. This dress is so worn that it doesn't hide the breasts and there are only four little straps left of the skirt. It looks ridiculous."
"Uh, Clea," Chom said raising a hand to get her attention.
Clea turned to look at the rest of the Dwarves. She hadn't seen them looking at her that way in almost eight thousand years. She asked, "What are you staring at? You've seen me naked a thousand times."
"Uh, this is a little different," Chom said nervously.
Confused, she asked, "What are you saying?"
Pip cleared his throat and said, "It doesn't look so ridiculous."
Thur said, "In fact, it looks kind of nice."
"I like it," Grum said.
Sean looked around with a puzzled expression on his face. Personally he thought that Clea looked kind of ridiculous in the outfit. He asked, "What is going on here?"
Ignoring Sean, Chom said, "You look good in it."
"I'd chase you through the woods," Thur said.
"So would I," Pip said.
"Me, too," Grum said.
"Me, three," Chom chimed in.
The comment about being chased through the woods reminded Clea of the reason she was there. She turned to Max and saw that he was still staring at her slack jawed. Concerned, she asked, "Are you okay, Max?"
Mrs. Baxter looked over at Max and shook her head. She said, "He's just like his father. You show him a little leather and he falls all over himself."
"Huh?" Clea asked confused by the statement.
Turning back to look at the much smaller woman, Mrs. Baxter asked, "Who are you?"
"I'm Clea."
Mrs. Baxter crossed her arms and said, "So I finally meet the mystery woman who has captured my little boy's heart. To tell the truth, I didn't believe that you actually existed."
"We have a date tonight," Clea said.
Mrs. Baxter pointed in the house and, in a very stern voice, said, "To your room, Max!"
"Yes, mom," Max said running off to his room.
"To your room," Mrs. Baxter said with a snap of her fingers. Mr. Baxter released his hold on her leg and ran off to his room.
Sean raised a hand and said, "I came over to..."
Interrupting him, Clea said, "Max and I have a date tonight. Get him back here."
"I just wanted to..." Sean started to say.
"Well, you might as well come in. We've got a lot to talk about," Mrs. Baxter said interrupting Sean.
"Yes, we do," Clea said. She was going to have a date with Max regardless of what this Amazon woman said.
Clea stepped into the house and the door slammed shut in Sean's face. To the closed door he said, "I just wanted to clarify the situation with the clothes. You see, the Brownies took them for the Leprechauns to make seat covers for my truck that the Dwarves were repairing."
Chom walked over to Sean and asked, "Who are you talking to?"
"No one," Sean said with a sigh.
Pip said, "I think that Clea really looked good in that outfit."
"Yeah," Chom said stroking his beard.
"Maybe we haven't been paying enough attention to her," Thur said looking around at the other Dwarves.
"I'll pay attention to her," Chom said.
"No. I'll do it," Pip said.
Knowing that they'd argue about it for hours, Sean said, "I'm going home."
"I'm going to wait here for Clea," Chom said.
"No need for you to do that. I'll wait for Clea," Pip said.
Thur said, "I'll wait here for her."
Sean walked away thinking that he'd take his truck over to Suzie's house and show it to her.
He'd have to do that on the way to work. He realized that he could actually give her a ride to work. Walking down the path he said, "It isn't even ten in the morning and I've already had a full day."
The trip home didn't seem to take as long as the trip to the Baxter's house. After changing into his work clothes, Sean was soon on the way to Suzie's house to show off his truck. Once he was on the road, he pressed the accelerator to the floor to see just how much get up and go it had.
He blew right past her house before putting on the brake. White faced, he turned around and headed back to her house.
He pulled into the driveway and parked the truck where it would easily be seen from the front door. Walking up to the door, he knocked on it hoping that Mr. Emery didn't answer. When the front door opened, he groaned and said, "Hello, Mr. Emery."
"Sean," Mr. Emery said putting a hand on Sean's shoulder. He said, "You and I are going to have to have a long talk."
Sean let a weak smile cross his face and said, "I would really enjoy talking about the current status of the global economy, but I must get to work soon."
"That isn't what I wanted to talk to you about," Mr. Emery said.
"How about the disgusting behavior of Congress? That's a topic that is worth hours of talk,"
Sean said.
"Not that topic either," Mr. Emery said shaking his head.
Sean was kind of stuck for a moment coming up with a nice neutral topic. He tapped a foot while thinking about it and then said, "How about the future of engineering and science in a service oriented society?"
"No," Mr. Emery said shaking his head.
"Religion?"
"No."
In a rather apologetic tone of voice, Sean said, "You know, I'm beginning to suspect that you and I have very little in common."
"How about we talk about Suzie?"
"She's such a lovely young woman. Not only is she lovely, she's smart. You must be so proud of her," Sean said nervously.
"I am," Mr. Emery said.
Thinking it was about time to make a strategic retreat, Sean said, "Well, it sure has been nice talking to you, Sir. I really must be heading to work now. Perhaps we can have a talk some other time about a less emotional topic. I suggest something like economics, politics, or religion."
"Hold on," Mr. Emery said when Sean tried to wiggle out from under his hand.
"Leave the boy alone. Suzie has him well in hand," Mrs. Emery said coming to the front door.
Mr. Emery frowned and said, "That's what I'm worried about."
"What?" Sean asked. Not for the first time he wished that he had greater control over his mouth.
"What part of you she has her hand on," Mr. Emery replied. He narrowed his eyes trying to look tough.
"Oh," Sean said.
From behind, Mrs. Emery ran a hand around Mr. Emery's hip and cupped him between the legs. With her mouth next to his ear, she asked, "What part might that be?"
While Sean covered his eyes, Mr. Emery stood up straighter and answered, "Uh, that one?"
Mrs. Emery looked around her husband and said, "Look at that. He's got a pretty little gold truck. I bet he wants to show it off to Suzie. Isn't that sweet?"
"That's another thing that I want to talk... ," Mr. Emery said stopping when there was a little squeeze between his legs.
"Let me handle this," Mrs. Emery said.
"Uh, okay," Mr. Emery said.
"I'm sure that Sean is a safe and careful driver," Mrs. Emery said pleasantly.
"Uh," Mr. Emery said licking his lips.
"I am," Sean said still keeping his eyes covered.
"I'm sure you are. Do you remember our discussions about vets?" Mrs. Emery asked.
"Yes, I do," Sean said starting to sweat. There was a tone to her voice that he didn't like when she asked that question.
"Vets occasionally have to put down cats when they are injured. One little accident with Suzie in your truck and I'll be sure that they take you to the vet rather than the hospital," Mrs. Emery said.
"I can see that happening," Sean said.
"I'm sure that Suzie would be disappointed to lose her favorite tom cat like that," Mrs. Emery said with a smile.
"Uh, yeah," Sean said peeking between his fingers. He swore that the look on Mrs. Emery's face was the scariest expression he had ever seen. There was a hunger there that he didn't quite trust. At least he wasn't the subject of that look. Mr. Emery was wiggling around in a rather distracted manner.
"Maybe I ought to go in the house," Mr. Emery stammered.
"That would be a good idea. While you're there, why don't you send Suzie out here? She has to go to work and I'm sure that Sean would love to give her a ride there," Mrs. Emery said giving him a little rub.
"We'll be alone?" Mr. Emery said squirming while a hand traced out a certain very prized part of his body.
Sean didn't know whether to cover his ears or his eyes. He compromised by closing his eyes and covering his ears. He stood there for a minute feeling rather impressed by the effectiveness of his compromise. His eyes flew open when someone kissed him. Much to his relief, it was Suzie.
He grinned and said, "Hello, Suzie."
"Hello, Sean," Suzie said with a smile.
"Do you want to see my truck?" Sean asked pulling her into a hug.
"Yes," Suzie said. She had been waiting for a long time to see his truck.
Turning so that they both faced the truck, Sean pointed to the truck and said, "See."
Suzie laughed and said, "It is gold."
"I know," Sean said.
"Take me for a ride in it," Suzie said. She had plans that involved getting far enough away that the Dwarves, Fairies, Brownies, and Leprechauns wouldn't be anywhere around. Unfortunately those plans couldn't be put into play at the moment.
"Okay," Sean said thinking about Mrs. Emery's threat. He said, "You're going to have to promise not to distract me."
"Why?" Suzie asked.
"Your mother promised to take me to a vet if I had an accident with you in the truck," Sean said.
"You must have misunderstood her," Suzie said smiling at him.
"Nope. She really hates cats," Sean said shaking his head.
"She loves cats," Suzie said.
"Not cats named Sean."