Lily poked Sean and shouted, "Wake up!"
"No," Sean mumbled thinking it wasn't possible that it was morning already. He was pretty sure that he had just gotten to sleep.
"Time to get out of bed lazy head," Lily said.
"Don't wanna," Sean grumbled. He pulled his pillow over head.
"Whose panties are those?" Lily asked while lifting the pillow from his head.
Sean jumped up and frantically pressed his pillow on the bed while looking around wildly. With the words coming out of his mouth so fast that it was hard to understand what he was saying, he said, "What panties? There aren't any panties here. You must be mistaken. There's nothing here that even closely resembles panties. You must be imagining things. No panties here."
Smiling at him, Lily said, "Mom said that would wake you up."
"She's a sadist," Sean said slapping his forehead remembering that the panties were still in the drawer by his bed. His heart was beating a thousand miles an hour.
Lily skipped out of the room laughing. Sean was about to fall back into the bed when there was a huge crash from the backyard. The crash was followed by the sounds of hammering, shouting, and screams. Looking around, he asked, "What is going on?"
The volume of noise increased dramatically. Sean sat on the edge of his bed and ran his fingers through his hair. After a particularly loud crash, he said, "There's no way to sleep through that."
Sean got up and started dressing. He stumbled out of the bedroom and headed towards the bathroom. Of course the door was closed. With his back to the wall, he slid down to sit across from the door. He moaned while staring at the closed door. He muttered, "Why doesn't she go to the bathroom before waking me up?"
He closed his eyes and listened to the sounds coming out of the backyard. Lily tapped him on the head and said, "Wake up."
"I'm awake," Sean groaned.
"Your eyes were closed," Lily said.
"Why don't you use the bathroom before waking me?" Sean asked. There was a particularly loud series of crashes the whole time he was asking his question.
"What did you say?" Lily asked knowing full well what he had said. It was the same thing he said every morning.
"Never mind," Sean said getting up from the floor. He stumbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot. There was a loud boom that rattled the house. Ignoring it, he went over to the toilet and relieved his bladder.
After washing his hands, he went down to the kitchen. The noise down there was even louder than it had been in his room. In order to be heard over the noise, his mother shouted, "Your breakfast is ready."
Sean shouted back, "I'm going out..."
The noise level dropped to nothing. His mother said, "That's better. It was so loud I couldn't hear myself think."
Sean was about to say something when Chom entered the house. The dwarf nonchalantly walked through the kitchen. Sean and his mother watched him walk past them and enter the hallway.
Worried, Sean asked, "Was that Chom?"
"It looked like him," his mother said looking in the direction of the hall.
"I wonder what he's doing," Sean said.
Chom returned to the kitchen and walked past the pair. He stopped beside the kitchen table and picked up the salt shaker. He slipped the salt shaker into his pocket. Without saying a word, Chom went over the kitchen door and opened it. The door closed behind him.
"That was odd," Sean said. As far as he knew, none of the Dwarves had ever been in the house.
"I wonder what he wanted with the salt shaker," his mother said staring at the kitchen door.
"I don't know," Sean said. There was a muffled boom from the backyard.
"You might want to go outside and see what is happening out there," his mother said.
"I'm not sure that I want to do that," Sean said looking over at the back door.
"Why?" his mother asked.
Sean said, "I figure they probably took your car apart."
"They wouldn't dare," his mother said with a sick feeling in her stomach.
"You're probably right," Sean said staring at the door like he expected it to open again.
"Go see what is happening," his mother said.
There was another muffled boom from the backyard. He said, "There are booming noises coming from out there."
"Go out and see what is happening," his mother said.
"I don't want to go out there. I'm liable to get blown up or something," Sean said.
"Go!"
Sean slowly approached the door and opened it. He stuck his head out and looked around. After a few seconds, he said, "Oh."
"Well," his mother asked.
Without answering, Sean stepped outside and closed the door behind him. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He took a couple of steps forward and stopped to stare at the truck.
"As agreed, we finished the truck Saturday morning in better than new condition," Chom said pointing to the truck.
Pip asked, "What do you think?"
"It is gold," Sean said staring at his truck. It was polished to such a high sheen that it was almost hard to look at.
"That's right. We covered it with gold so that it wouldn't rust. That's much better than the paint that was on there," Clea said.
Unable to take his eyes from the truck, Sean said, "I hate to ask this, but..."
"Then don't ask," Chom interrupted.
"Definitely don't ask the question if you hate asking it," Pip said.
"Good advice," Thur said nodding to the other two Dwarves.
"I thought so," Chom said.
"Do you think he'll follow your advice?" Thur asked.
Chom shook his head and said, "They never do."
"It's true. They never do," Pip said.
"Where did you get the gold?" Sean asked.
"See, I told you," Chom said. He slapped the side of his leg and gestured at Sean with a look of disgust.
"You did," Pip said nodding his head.
"Pity. Such good advice and he wasted it," Thur said.
"Aren't you going to answer my question?" Sean asked.
Turning to Pip, Chom said, "For someone who hates asking questions, he sure does ask a lot of them."
"You're so right," Pip said.
"He's going to run out of questions soon," Grum said.
"He's bound to run out sometime or another," Pip said.
"Will someone answer my question?" Sean asked.
"Which one?" Chom asked not sure which question Sean wanted answered.
"Which one what?" Sean asked confused by Chom's question.
"Huh?" Chom asked.
"What?" Sean asked.
Scratching his head, Pip said, "I've never heard of questions being contagious, but Sean's got Chom asking them now."
"Are we in danger?" Thur asked.
"Danger?" Pip asked looking around to see if there was something bad in the area.
"Are we going to catch it?" Thur asked.
"Catch what?" Chom asked looking around for something to catch.
"Why are you asking each other so many questions?" Clea asked.
Pip pointed at Sean and answered, "He started it and now we caught it."
"Caught what?" Clea asked.
Sean shouted, "Quiet!"
All of the Dwarves turned to look at Sean. Once he was sure that he had their attention, he asked, "Where did you get the gold from?"
"Oh, is that what you wanted to know?" Chom asked.
"Yes," Sean answered.
"From your desk drawer," Chom answered. Shaking his head, he said, "It was a pitiful amount of gold. Hardly worth mentioning, it was. We had to use all of it to cover that truck."
"You used all of my gold?" Sean asked with a frown.
"Was that all of your gold?" Pip asked.
"Yes," Sean said.
"You're going to have to get some more before next summer," Chom said.
"Definitely. You'll need a bunch to get the next gift of magic," Liam said.
"I know," Sean said shaking his head.
Clea said, "So what do you think of the truck?"
"I like it," Sean said. He had to admit that it looked better than new. He said, "I'd like to see how well it runs."
Looking around nervously, Thur said, "We had a few problems with that."
"Problems?" Sean asked in a worried tone of voice.
"Well, it had a whole bunch of parts that it didn't need," Clea said.
"It was missing a few that it did need," Thur said.
"Getting it to run off of water was a real problem. We had to cheat a little," Clea said.
"Cheat?" Sean asked wondering what that meant in terms of getting the truck to run off of water.
Chom shrugged his shoulders and said, "You've got to add a little salt to it."
"It doesn't require too much salt; just a shake or two," Thur said looking a little embarrassed.
Pip said, "It is real quiet. It is running right now and you can't hear it from here."
"It runs on water," Sean said looking at his truck.
"With a shake or two of salt added," Thur said.
Chom said, "You'll need to fill the tank every month or so."
"I would just keep it running if I were you. It is a real beast to get started," Thur said.
Clea said, "The transmission was really very poorly constructed. You'll find that it is a whole lot better now."
Looking a little embarrassed, Pip said, "It has a small problem with staying on the ground when it gets to full speed. That's not really a good shape for a fast moving chariot."
Nodding his head, Sean asked, "How fast does it go?"
"I don't know. That little dial initially stopped at ninety but we fixed it so that it goes up to two hundred. The needle thing goes past that," Grum answered.
"I wouldn't recommend driving it that fast. That was about the time when we left the ground," Clea said shrugging her shoulders.
Pip said, "You've got to admit that it was exciting."
"That's true," Thur said.
Liam looked over at the corner of the house and said, "Agar fell out the back about the fourth time we bounced. We're still waiting for him to show up."
"He fell off?" Sean asked.
"Yes he did," Liam answered.
"Is he okay?" Sean asked worried that Agar was lying by the side of the road injured.
"He's okay," Liam said waving a hand. "He's a Leprechaun. It takes more than a little bounce to hurt one of us."
Clea said, "You should have heard him."
"I didn't know that he knew those words," Pip said.
Gesturing towards the house with his thumb, Liam said, "He learned them from Sean's mother."
"That woman has a mouth on her," Clea said.
"You can say that again," Liam said.
"She has quite an impressive command of the vulgar elements of the language," Thur said.
Liam said, "Of course, the other one is just as bad. You should have heard her yesterday when I gave her a little pat on the bottom. I thought my beard was going to get singed."
Sean's mother stepped out of the house and asked, "What's going on?"
Pip answered, "We were just talking about you."
"You were talking about me?" she asked looking around to see if her car was in pieces.
"We were discussing your mastery of the vulgar language," Clea said.
"Indeed we were," Chom said.
Rather than respond to comments about her vocabulary, Sean's mother stared at the truck. She said, "It is gold."
"You didn't mention that she was observant, Liam," Chom said.
"She's not all that observant," Liam said.
"She noticed that the truck was gold," Pip said pointing over at the truck.
"You've got to admit that is kind of obvious," Liam said.
"That's true," Pip said.
"When did you take it for a test drive?" Sean asked wanting to get the topic of conversation away from his mother.
"We got back right before you came out," Chom answered.
Sean looked at the Dwarves and the Leprechauns for a minute. Something was bothering him about what they had said. It finally dawned on him what was the matter. He asked, "How did you work the gas pedal and the steering wheel to drive the car?"
"I pressed the pedals," Pip said proudly.
"I steered," Chom said.
"I navigated," Thur said.
Sean's mother returned from examining the truck. Impressed by what she had seen, she said, "It has a real leather interior."
"Of course it does," Liam said straightening his coat and striking a proud pose.
Sean frowned and asked, "Where did you get leather?"
Chom pointed down the path and said, "They had a whole bunch of leather clothes over at that house down there."
"You took it out of someone's house?" Sean asked worried that he was going to get arrested.
Waving a hand at Sean, Pip said, "Don't worry. We didn't take them; the Brownies got them for us. They only took the clothes that had holes in them."
With an expression of concern on her face, Clea said, "I had no idea that Max was that poor."
"It was kind of strange. Usually, holes form at the knees and elbows, but all the holes in those clothes were in the crotch and chest area," Chom said rubbing the back of his head.
Clea shook her head and said, "Max's mother must have frozen her breasts off when it got cold. With the way the holes were located, her breasts would just stick right out there."
"It is really sad when you think about it; being forced to wear clothes until they're worn out like that," Chom said looking down at the ground.
Sean's mother put a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. Sean said, "Let me get this straight. You used leather clothes from the Baxter's house to make the seat covers for my truck."
"That's right," Chom said.
Liam nodded his head and said, "Despite the holes, that was some of the best leather I've ever worked with. It was nice and supple. It was black as night. I've never seen leather that shiny. I have no idea what she did to cause holes like that. Good leather like that shouldn't ever wear out."
"I have an idea," Sean's mother said trying hard to stifle her desire to laugh. She would have never believed that of the Baxters.
"It is time for you to take us to the store for some sodas," Chom said to Sean.
"Let me get my wallet and driver's license," Sean said turning to head to the house.
Once Sean had gone into the house, Pip said, "You were right, Chom."
"He forgot that he already paid us," Thur said.
"He's a decent sort of lad, but not too sharp first thing in the morning," Chom said with a smile.
Agar came walking around the corner of the house. He looked over at the Dwarves and said, "That was fun. I bet I flew a hundred paces when that truck bounced."
"Impressive," Liam said.
"Can we do that again?" Agar asked.
Chom said, "Sean's going to take us to the store for some sodas."
"Let's get in the truck before he changes his mind," Agar said. His suggestion triggered a stampede over to the truck. The Dwarves fought over the best positions in the bed of the truck. There was a rather loud argument about where the best bounce would be found.
Sean returned from the house and noticed all of the little folk in the back of the truck. Shrugging his shoulders, he climbed into the truck. After looking over the interior, he said, "It looks like they didn't make any changes to the controls."
It only took a few minutes to get to the convenience store. Much to Sean's surprise, the truck drove very nicely. It was very responsive to his touch and had a lot more pickup than he had expected. As soon as he had parked it, the little folk boiled out of the back and charged into the store. It was about that time when he realized that they had suckered him into buying them sodas. Sean sighed and said, "This is going to cost me a fortune."
He got into the store to find that the Dwarves had a pile of sodas already on the counter. Walking over to the counter, Sean said, "Hello Betty."
Betty barely noticed what Sean had said. She was busy watching the Dwarves and Leprechauns moving around the store checking out everything. Standing on Chom's shoulders to reach the top shelf, Pip held up a bag and said, "Look! They have popcorn in a bag."
Chom leapt forward causing Pip to fall off of him. He held up a bag and asked, "What is this?"
"Potato chips," Sean answered.
"I wonder what those are," Chom said squeezing the air-filled bag.
"Don't squeeze the bag!" Sean shouted. He was too late and the bag burst. Of course, it was the bottom of the bag that opened and chips flew all over the floor. He groaned and said, "This is going to cost me a fortune."
Clea walked over to the counter and looked at the woman. She said, "You're the lady with all of the plants, aren't you?"
"Yes," Betty answered staring at Clea's beard.
"I'm kind of jealous of you," Clea said.
"Why?" Betty asked.
"All the guys talk about is your butt. They say that you have the best butt in the area," Clea said.
"Oh God," Betty said. She had heard that about three times a day since starting the job.
Clea said, "The only one who notices my butt is Max."
There was a round of pops while the Dwarves checked out the chips. Sean shouted, "Everyone out while I pay for this stuff."
Grumbling, the Dwarves lined up and marched out the door. When they passed Sean, Chom mumbled, "He's got no sense of adventure."
"We're going to have to come down here sometime when he isn't around," Pip said.
"That's a good idea," Thur said.
"I thought so," Pip said.
Betty had gone over to the chips area and was busy surveying the damage. There were the contents of a couple dozen packages of chips scattered around on the floor. It was going to take forever to clean up the mess. She looked over at Sean and said, "You are going to pay for this."
"I know," Sean said. He opened his wallet to make sure that he had enough money.
Liam walked past carrying a dozen bags of chips. He put them on the counter and said, "Add these to the bill."
"No," Sean said.
Agar stumbled around with his hands over his heart. He fell down and let loose with a long slow moan that ended with a little quaver. After a few seconds, he stood up and said, "Buy one for each of us."
With visions of spending the next hour arguing with the Leprechauns echoing in his head, Sean said, "Okay."
While holding the front door open for the other Leprechaun, Agar said, "That was another demonstration that Leprechauns are the best negotiators."
"Thank you," Liam replied pausing to make a little bow.
"That was a very good moan. You're going to have to teach me how to do that," Agar said letting the door close behind him.