Sean's mother held out the phone to Sean and said, "Your boss is calling."
"I wonder what he wants," Sean said walking over to his mother. He had been getting ready to leave for work.
"You might ask him rather than me," his mother answered.
"Why didn't I think of that?" Sean asked.
"I don't have a clue," his mother answered.
"Should I hang up and then call him to find out what he wanted?" Sean asked taking the phone from his mother.
"Sure," she answered with a smile.
Sean held the phone up to his ear and said, "Hello, Mr. Catchums."
"Sean, could you work this evening?" Mr. Catchums asked.
"This evening?" Sean asked.
"I've hired a couple of new people and I want to train them during the quiet time. I won't need you until four," Mr. Catchums said.
Sean said, "I'll be happy to train them. I've even been working on some great sales scripts for others to use."
"That's okay," Mr. Catchums said after a long pause. He quickly added, "I'd rather do it myself."
Sean said, "Are you sure? I would love to be put in charge of corporate training."
"I'm positive," Mr. Catchums said. He mumbled, "Note to self — do not put Sean in charge of training new people."
"If you're sure," Sean said sounding a little disappointed.
Mr. Catchums said, "I'd really appreciate it if you'd come in tonight."
"I guess I could come in," Sean said.
"I hope that this doesn't ruin any of your plans for the evening," Mr. Catchums said.
"I'll have to cancel my date with Suzie," Sean said with a frown.
"I'm sorry to hear that, but I really need you tonight," Mr. Catchums said.
"That's okay. I'll be there," Sean said wondering how he was going to break the news to Suzie.
"Great! I'll see you at four," Mr. Catchums said. He hung up before having to exchange more words with Sean.
After he hung up the phone, his mother asked, "What did he want?"
"He wants me to work tonight instead of this morning," Sean said.
Indignant, his mother said, "Friday night is date night. Doesn't he know that?"
"I guess not," Sean said.
"You better hustle your bustle down to the store and get some candy for Suzie before you break the bad news to her," his mother said.
"I have a bustle?" Sean asked.
"You bet," his mother said.
"Wow, I never knew that," Sean said.
"You had better go now," his mother said.
"Okay," Sean said not trusting his mother's insistence that he leave. It wasn't that he was of a suspicious nature, but that he was naturally suspicious.
Stepping outside, Sean ran into Chom. The Dwarf was walking around in a circle while holding his head in his hands. Chom moaned and said, "Oh the pressure!"
"What pressure?" Sean asked.
"Deadlines! I can't stand deadlines," Chom said throwing his arms up in the air.
Looking at all of the parts scattered around the yard, Sean said, "You haven't done anything."
"There's plenty of time," Chom said dismissively.
"I thought you were worried about the deadline," Sean said.
"I am. I hate them," Chom said.
Looking up at Sean, Pip asked, "You wouldn't be interested in changing the deadline, would you?"
"Let's see ... If I change the deadline, then there will be no movie, no popcorn, and no sodas tomorrow night," Sean said rubbing the back of his head.
"I keep forgetting that," Pip said stamping his foot on the ground.
Sean said, "I've got to get to the store."
"Going to buy us some sodas?" Chom asked hopefully.
"Not until after I get my truck," Sean answered.
"Are you sure you aren't a Leprechaun?" Pip asked.
"Positive," Sean answered.
"You negotiate like one," Pip said.
"Not quite," Liam said.
"He needs to learn how to act properly when negotiating. No wailing, no moaning, and no falling on the ground; it is embarrassing," Agar said.
"You can say that again," Pip said.
"No sodas until I get my truck," Sean said.
"I would really like a soda right now," Chom said sadly.
"We're going to have to find another source for soda," Pip said.
Twenty minutes later, Sean entered the convenience store and looked over at Sam's replacement. The middle-aged woman looked familiar, but he couldn't place her immediately.
He went to the shelf that held the candies. He looked over the entire selection before picking the simple box of chocolate covered cherries. He had been hoping for one of those assortments of chocolate candies that were common around Valentine's Day, but there wasn't one.
Taking the box of chocolate covered cherries to the counter, he leaned over and read the name on the name badge worn by the woman behind the counter. It only had her first name — Betty.
He wasn't particularly subtle about where he was looking.
Irritated at him, Betty asked, "Are you enjoying the view?"
"What view, Betty?" Sean asked looking at her face.
"You were checking out my breasts, pervert," Betty answered.
"Really?" Sean asked with a puzzled expression on his face.
"Your eyes were glued to them," Betty said caustically.
Scratching the back of his neck, Sean said, "I thought I was reading your nametag."
Betty looked down and remembered the nametag. She said, "Oh."
"Sam worked here for a month or more before I learned his name. I thought that I wouldn't make the same mistake again," Sean said setting the box of chocolates on the counter.
"It really looked like you were checking out my breasts," Betty said feeling a little embarrassed.
"I'm sorry," Sean said. He smiled and said, "If it makes you feel any better, my Mom says that all boys my age are perverts."
"She's probably right," Betty said thinking that a more accurate statement would be that all men are perverts, but she didn't say anything to that effect. She smiled at Sean and said, "It is nice to meet you."
"It is nice to meet you. I'm Sean Connery Michaels."
"You're him," Betty said looking at Sean with an odd expression on her face. She'd heard a lot of stories about a young man who frequented the store and sowed confusion with each visit.
"Maybe," Sean replied. He stared off into space for a moment while thoughtfully stroking his chin and then said, "Let's see. First I'm sorry, then I'm Sean Connery Michaels, and then I'm him. I wonder who I'll be next."
"Huh?"
"Never mind, I'm just having an existential crisis," Sean answered with a smile.
"Oh," Betty said. She looked down at the box of chocolates and said, "I guess I better ring you up."
"I've never been rung up before," Sean said. He flashed a grin and asked, "Will it hurt?"
"Pardon?"
"You said that you were going to ring me up. I just wanted to know if it will hurt," Sean answered.
Betty frowned and said, "I meant that I was going to ring up the box of chocolates."
"That's much better although ringing a bell probably makes more sense. At least ringing a box of chocolates won't hurt me," Sean said. It dawned on him that she could have been making reference to calling him on the telephone.
"Huh?" Betty said.
Shaking his head, Sean said, "Never mind."
"Chocolate covered cherries?"
"Yeah, they were the closest to a box of chocolates that I could find here," Sean said.
"Who are they for?" Betty asked.
"My girlfriend," Sean said. He looked away for a second and said, "I have some bad news to tell her."
"Take flowers," Betty said pointing to some flowers sitting in a small bucket.
Sean looked at the flowers for a moment and then asked, "When did you start carrying flowers?"
"I grow them," Betty said. She had taken the job thinking that she'd be able to make a little extra money selling her flowers in the store.
Sean said, "Ah! You're the plant lady. I thought you looked familiar."
Betty rolled her eyes at the all too common characterization of her as the plant lady. She said,
"Yes, I'm the plant lady."
"If you had been bent over and facing the other way, I would have recognized you right away,"
Sean said.
"Bent over and facing the other way?"
Nodding his head, Sean said, "Every time I've ever seen you, you've been outside working on the flowers. All I could see of you was your butt."
"My butt?"
"Yes. It is probably the most recognized butt in the county," Sean said.
"Oh," Betty said with a frown.
Seeing that she looked upset, Sean said, "Don't feel bad. You have a nice butt."
Shoulders sagging, Betty said, "That'll be $4.65."
"Let me add some flowers to that," Sean said walking over to the bucket of flowers.
"Okay," Betty said thinking that she'd never be able to work in her garden again.
Max entered the store while Sean was picking out a bouquet of flowers. Looking over at Sean, he asked, "What are you doing?"
"Buying flowers for Suzie," Sean answered.
"I wonder if Clea would like some," Max said looking at the bucket of flowers.
Betty said, "I've never met a woman that didn't like getting flowers from a young man."
"Oh," Max said biting his lower lip. He had been about to comment that Clea wasn't your typical woman.
Sean stood up with a bouquet of flowers. He said, "Hey, Max. Have you met the plant lady?"
Max shook his head and answered, "Nope. She's got a fine butt though."
"That's true," Sean said.
"Sometimes you drive past and there's her butt poking up above the plants. It's hard to say what looks nicer — her butt or that garden," Max said holding out his hands like he was holding a woman's bottom.
Betty covered her face with both of the hands and shook her head. She had gotten used to being called the plant lady. She didn't know if she'd ever live down being known for her butt.
"This is Betty. She's the plant lady," Sean said gesturing over to the red faced woman behind the counter.
"Nice to meet you," Max said glancing in her direction. Leaning over the Sean, he said, "I wouldn't have recognized her without you introducing her to me."
Putting the bouquet of flowers on the counter, Sean asked, "So what is with you and Clea?"
"Outside of you, no one else would talk to me after I got out of the hospital. One day she and I just started talking. Well, one thing led to another and... ," Max answered.
"You ended up chasing her naked through the woods," Sean said.
"Yes," Max said feeling a little embarrassed about hearing it phrased that way.
"It brought a smile to Mom's face," Sean said cheerfully.
"Oh, God," Max said.
"She said it was nice to see you smiling," Sean added.
"She's going to tell my mother and I'll end up back at the hospital," Max said.
Sean shook his head and said, "I wouldn't worry about that. She's too busy chasing the Leprechauns."
Betty asked, "Leprechauns?"
"Clea did mention something about your mother spending all of her time chasing Liam and Agar. She said that no one has been that persistent in centuries," Max said.
"You know how Mom is," Sean said shrugging his shoulders.
Max said, "Yeah. Once she's got something on her mind, she doesn't give up."
Betty couldn't help but listen to the conversation. Feeling a little uneasy about what she was about to admit, she said, "I've got Fairies in my garden."
Sean looked over at her and said, "So does everyone else."
"We don't. We don't have any flowers in our yard. Mom has a brown thumb and couldn't grow a flower if her life depended on it. Dad just hates gardening," Max said.
"The Fairies like flowers," Sean said.
Max said, "I guess that's the reason I haven't seen a Fairy yet."
"That's a shame. They're real cute," Sean said.
Max said, "We've got something around our house. Something or someone has been busy cleaning. Every morning something has been cleaned around the house."
"Those are the Brownies," Sean said.
"You told me that they only clean after watching people having sex," Max said.
"That's right," Sean said.
"Brownies?" Betty asked with a frown. She had been a little disappointed that they hadn't made a big deal out of her statement about Fairies.
"Well, it can't be Brownies because my parents don't do that. Mom and Dad don't even kiss. For all I know, my mother is still a virgin," Max said thinking that his parents were too lazy to have sex. His father came home from work and slept all evening on the couch. His mother took naps all afternoon.
Sean raised an eyebrow and said, "I wasn't aware of any immaculate conceptions going on lately."
"Okay, they did it once," Max said.
"Right," Sean said deciding that further discussion would only end up in a fight that he'd probably lose. He looked over at Betty and asked, "How much do I owe you?"
"$9.90," she answered.
Max said, "I might as well buy some flowers. Clea might like them. I think she has been avoiding me."
Sean handed Betty a ten. He turned to Max and said, "If you're looking for Clea, she is over at my house working on my truck or at least she's supposed to be working on my truck."
"You got a truck?" Max asked.
"Kind of. The Dwarves took it apart and now it is spread across the entire back yard," Sean answered. So far, the Dwarves had done nothing except stand around and stare at the parts strewn about the yard. They didn't have much time to finish it.
"Dwarves?" Betty asked.
"Why would they do that?" Max asked.
"They promised to fix the body for a soda each," Sean answered.
"When will they be done?" Max asked.
Sean said, "They promised to have it done by tomorrow morning, but they haven't done a lick of work on it."
"Oh," Max said.
Betty handed Sean his change and said, "Here you go."
"Thanks, Betty," Sean said absently.
"There will be a movie tomorrow night, won't there?" Max asked.
"I doubt it. We can't park the cars in the back until the Dwarves finish fixing the truck," Sean said.
Carrying a bouquet of flowers over to the counter, Max said, "I've kind of enjoyed watching the films with Clea."
"I'll call and let you know if we show a film," Sean said picking up his purchases.
"Thanks," Max said.
Sean left the convenience store and headed towards Suzie's house. He wondered how she was going to take the news that it was highly unlikely that the truck would be finished tomorrow. It seemed to him that the pair of them had not had a moment alone since the afternoon his mother had been arrested.
He knocked on the backdoor and waited until Suzie's mom opened the door. Looking over at him, she said, "Look at what the cat dragged in."
"It is nice to see you, Mrs. Emery," Sean said.
"Ah, I see you brought flowers and candy," Mrs. Emery said.
"Your powers of observation are as excellent as usual," Sean said.
Mrs. Emery asked, "Are they for me?"
"Uh, no," Sean answered. He hadn't thought to buy her flowers.
Mrs. Emery assumed an expression of great concentration for a few seconds before she asked,
"Are they for Mr. Emery?"
"No," Sean answered.
"I wonder who they might be for," Mrs. Emery said.
"Suzie," Sean suggested.
"Oh my! A young man showing up at the house with flowers and candy for my daughter does not bode well for her virginity," Mrs. Emery said tapping her lower lip with a finger. She added,
"That's real tricky -- bringing flowers to deflower the naïve pure virgin."
"Uh," Sean said rather flustered by the sudden shift in topic.
"I wonder what I should do about it," Mrs. Emery said ignoring Sean's stammer.
"Um, nothing," Sean stuttered.
"Perhaps I should call my husband and ask for his advice," Mrs. Emery mused aloud.
Sean found his voice very quickly and said, "There's no need to do that."
Mrs. Emery said, "Perhaps you are right. Why don't you go in and give my emotionally vulnerable daughter her candy and flowers? I'm sure that with your silver tongue you'll have her naked in no time."
"Uh," Sean said.
"The real pity is that I won't be here to protect her virtue. I guess that she'll have to do that all by herself," Mrs. Emery said shaking her head.
"What?" Sean asked.
"There is a Leprechaun to catch," Mrs. Emery said with a grin.
"Oh," Sean said thinking that he needed to work on his conversation skills.
Mrs. Emery leaned back and shouted, "Suzie! Come out to the kitchen for a minute."
"I'm doing my toes," Suzie yelled back from her bedroom.
"Come out here now," Mrs. Emery shouted.
"Okay," Suzie yelled back in a tone of voice intended to let her mother know that she wasn't happy about being interrupted.
Mrs. Emery started laughing. She pushed him in the kitchen and stepped out the door. Starting to hold her sides, she said, "I'll see you later."
"Okay," Sean said wondering why she was laughing like that. Even after she shut the door behind her he could hear her laughing. Frowning, he said, "That laugher really sounds evil."
He turned around just in time to see Suzie enter the kitchen. He jumped when she screamed upon seeing him standing there looking at her. He nearly screamed when he saw her hair up in rollers, the moisturizing cream spread all over her face, big wads of cotton between her toes, and the nasty old pink bathrobe she was wearing. She was holding her fingers stiffly out in front of her. She shouted, "You're not supposed to be here!"
Holding up the flowers and box of candies, Sean said, "I brought these for you."
He was talking to her back since she had already fled the kitchen. Echoing down the hall was her scream, "I'm going to kill my mother!"
Sean put the flowers and the box of candy on the kitchen table. Scratching his cheek, Sean said,
"That was interesting. I wonder what I'm supposed to do now."