The exchange of offers and counteroffers had been fast and furious over the course of a month, but an agreement had been reached. Benedict Flanders would end up retaining twenty percent of the company he had started although he would be relegated to a minor board position without significant contact with employees. The former Mrs. Flanders ended up with thirty percent of the company while the ten sexual harassment victims ended up with five percent each. It was a far better deal than anyone had expected.
Benedict read over the agreements with a frown. Shrugging his shoulders, he said, "It is a lot better than Michael had predicted."
"It is a better deal than you deserved considering how much evidence against yourself you collected," Jared said.
"I sure didn't expect that Sanders woman to bring in an army of private investigators," Benedict said. Things had been going so well until she had called in Ables Investigations.
"You're lucky that her family didn't take you to Afghanistan," Jared said.
"Why do you say that?" Benedict asked.
"She's related to the founder of Black Ice," Jared said.
"That's a nasty bunch," Benedict said realizing just how lucky he was.
"Very nasty," Jared said in agreement. He asked, "You brought in all copies of the videos?"
"Yes. They are all in that box," Benedict answered gesturing to a box on the desk.
"You didn't keep any copies for your personal enjoyment?"
"No, I didn't," Benedict said. He smirked.
"You're aware that if a copy is found that the penalty will cost you the rest of your share of the company," Jared said.
"I'm aware of that," Benedict said.
Jared slid a pen across the desk and said, "Sign all of the agreements."
Benedict signed the agreements and left the office a much poorer man than when he had entered. He now had to go about the unpleasant process of establishing a new residence. It was a lot better than being completely broke.
Jared put the papers together in eleven neat packets to be handed over to Karen. While putting the last one in the packet, he said, "That Karen is a fine looking woman. She is a damn good attorney, too. Now that this case is over, I'm going to ask her out."
The telephone rang with the tone indicating that it was an internal call. He punched the button for the speaker phone and said, "This is Jared."
"You're eleven o'clock appointment is here," the receptionist said.
Smiling, Jared said, "Bring her into my office."
He rose from his chair and moved toward the door to greet her. He reached the door just as Karen entered the room. He reached out a hand and said, "Hello."
Karen took his hand and said, "Hello. I hope that we can clear this up quickly. I anticipate a lunch appointment at noon."
"Ah. Let's get to it," Jared said a little disappointed that he wouldn't be able to extend the discussion. "The papers are in the envelopes over there. The videos are in the box."
"Are you sure that these are all copies of the videos?" Karen asked while looking inside the box.
"He assured me repeatedly that those were all copies of the videos," Jared answered.
"Did you believe him?"
"I'd rather not comment on that."
"Well, Ables Investigations will discover the truth," Karen said with a grin.
"You think very highly of them," Jared said.
"They are my cousins," Karen said. She opened the first envelope and examined the contents. Satisfied that the documents were in proper form, she replaced them in the envelope.
"Your cousins?"
While checking the second envelope, Karen said, "Anders, Sanders, Ables, O'Tooles, O'Connors, and Connors are all Donaldsons. We are a big family."
"It sounds like a big family," Jared said watching her like a hawk. When she leaned over the top edge of her lacy bra was just visible.
While checking the third envelope, she said, "It is getting bigger every day."
"You don't say," Jared commented. He wondered if her panties matched her bra.
"Shelly O'Connor had a baby girl yesterday. We're expecting Laura Connor to have a baby today or tomorrow," Karen said.
"That's a lot of babies," Jared said suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable about topic of conversation as a precursor to asking her out on a date.
"Well, considering the size of the family and the fact that Donaldson women tend to have lots of kids, it is rare that a week goes by without a birth," Karen said. She looked in another envelope.
"Every week," Jared said. The thought that there was a Donaldson getting pregnant every week went through his head.
Karen looked up at him and winked. She said, "Just think about all of the practicing that takes place before the baby is conceived."
"Practice is good," Jared mumbled unable to think of a more appropriate response. Images of practicing with Karen flashed through his mind.
She looked at his crotch and said, "Donaldson women are particularly randy."
"Randy is great," Jared echoed softly. It seemed to him that the higher functions of his brain were beginning to shut down. She leaned over to pick up another envelope. Her blouse opened a little more giving him a better peek at her black lace bra. A shiver went through his body.
"Very randy," she said in a voice that was so hot it could boil water.
"Wow," Jared said.
Karen smiled at him and said, "It looks like everything is in good form."
"You can say that again," Jared said. He was immediately disappointed when she sat up and destroyed the view he had been enjoying.
"I'll see you later," Karen said. She picked up the packets and the box. Looking over her shoulder, she said, "Until later."
"Later," Jared said. As soon as she left the office he adjusted his pants. He stumbled back to his desk and took a seat. The telephone rang. He pushed the button for the speakerphone and said, "Jared here."
"Your eleven thirty appointment is here," the receptionist said.
"I didn't know that I had an eleven thirty appointment," Jared said looking over at his appointment book.
"Well, she's here and she's a real cutie," the receptionist said.
"Send her in," Jared said curious about the identity of his visitor. He didn't have to wait long before she stopped outside of his door. A girl of about ten years of age entered his office. She was wearing a little business suit and carrying a briefcase.
Handing him a business card, she said, "Hello, I'm Mercedes Anders. I'm here to represent you in the upcoming negotiations."
"What upcoming negotiations?" Jared asked.
Mercedes said, "It is my understanding that you are interested in pursuing a relationship that will end in a lifetime economic merger with my cousin Karen."
"You mean I want to date her," Jared said.
"Precisely," Mercedes answered. She opened her briefcase and pulled out a packet of papers. Handing them over to him, she said, "This is a standard Anders dating contract. Please look it over. If you have any questions, I'll be glad to answer them."
Jared was having a hard time keeping from laughing. He had never heard of anything so ridiculous in his entire life. He glanced down at the contract and the urge to laugh died. He said, "According to this I'm prevented from having sexual contact with her until after the third date."
"Yes. You'll notice that there are limits specified on physical contact for the first three dates. For example, the first date is limited to a good night kiss with touching limited to bare skin," Mercedes said.
"Bare skin?" Jared asked.
"You touch cloth and the chaperone will physically restrain you. You don't want the chaperone to restrain you," Mercedes answered. She said, "All of the obligations of the chaperone are fully specified in section 4.3.1."
"So it is," Jared said looking down at that section of the document. He had never been on a chaperoned date before. He nodded his head and said, "At least if it is cold then I am allowed to help her out of her jacket."
"Yes," Mercedes said. "You must remember that this contract has been developed and updated over three generations of Anders. All situations are covered. You'll notice that there are three pages of exit clauses in case that either of you choose to terminate the negotiations for a permanent merger."
"Every contract needs an exit clause," Jared said.
Mercedes said, "You might want to skim over the whole contract. I assure you that you are adequately protected by it."
"I'm sure I am," Jared said. Feeling the lawyer within stirring, he said, "I'll still want to study it."
"You might not want to take too long. Karen is waiting for you at the Branding Iron," Mercedes said.
"The steak place?" Jared asked.
"Yes, a cousin of mine owns it," Mercedes answered.
Jared skimmed over the contract. He stopped and asked, "What is this stuff about unlimited teasing on the part of the woman during the third and subsequent dates?"
"You are a democrat, correct?"
"Yes. What are you?"
"I'm a republican," Mercedes said. Seeing his raised eyebrow, she said, "I have investments."
"I'm sure you do," Jared said. He wondered what kind of investments a little kid like her could possibly have.
Mercedes said, "That clause is discussing her use of lace undergarments for the sole purpose of exciting you in anticipation of the fourth date assuming, that is, that she should choose to pursue sexual relations on the fourth date."
"Ah," Jared said. This was strange and getting stranger.
"Do you have any color preferences with regard to her undergarments?" Mercedes asked looking down at the contract. "We can add a rider here specifying any color preferences you might have."
"No," Jared said. He wondered what his classmates at Harvard would think about him discussing his preferences in the color of his date's undergarments with a ten year old girl.
"It is usually best to leave that to the woman's prerogative," Mercedes said.
"I'm sure it is," Jared said. He returned to reading the contract. He snorted and said, "According to this, if I get overly aggressive during a date then I'm authorizing the chaperone to use physical means to restrain me."
"That is correct," Mercedes said. "You really don't want to be physically restrained by the chaperone."
"The loss of sobriety clause here is interesting," Jared said.
Mercedes said, "Yes. In case you get her drunk and she waives the limits imposed by the physical contact clauses, then you can proceed to physical intimacy so long as the chaperone is allowed to take a blood sample. That is to prevent, or at least allow prosecution in the event of, the use of date rape drugs."
"Makes sense to me," Jared said. He looked at the little girl wondering how it was that someone her age knew about date rape drugs. He asked, "How old are you?"
"I'm ten," Mercedes said, "I would hurry up and finish reading the contract if I were you. Karen is waiting for you and failure to appear in a timely manner on the first date will undermine your bargaining position significantly."
Knowing that he would have little or no chance of fully comprehending the contract, Jared asked, "Will you be there to represent me during this date?"
"Of course, it is my job to prevent you from violating any terms of the contract until you become more familiar with it. I will also point out any loopholes that may work to your advantage. Her representative will be there as well," Mercedes answered.
"Where do I sign this thing?" Jared asked.
"On the last page there is a place for you to sign it. You need to sign two copies: one for you and one for her," Mercedes said. She handed over the copy that she had been reading.
"I notice that she didn't sign it yet," Jared said.
"She initiated the contract. She could hardly sign it knowing that you might want some terms renegotiated," Mercedes said.
"That's true," Jared said. He signed both copies.
Mercedes grabbed them and said, "Let's go."
"Are we taking my car?" Jared asked.
"Don't be silly. We are going there with the chaperone," Mercedes answered.
Jared followed Mercedes to the lobby where a rather smallish man waited. He didn't look all that imposing at first glance, but Jared's second glance noticed the pistol the man was packing in a shoulder holster. All of a sudden he looked twice as big and many times more threatening.
Mercedes said, "Cousin Robert."
"Cousin Mercedes. Is this your client?" Robert asked.
"Yes, it is," Mercedes answered.
Robert said, "I'm Robert Ables. I'll be the chaperone for this date."
"Nice to meet you. I'm Jared Wilmot."
"Cousin Robert just got home from Afghanistan and wanted something easy to do until he learns to relax," Mercedes said.
"Relaxing is good," Jared said thinking that the last thing he needed to do was to make Robert tense.
Robert said, "The limousine is waiting."
"Why aren't we going in a Hummer?" Jared asked.
"I wouldn't be caught dead in one of those. It is like they have a target painted under them," Robert said.
Mercedes nodded her head and said, "He's talking about Improvised Explosive Devices. None of the Ables like Hummers because of IEDs. They prefer horses over in Afghanistan and armored cars here."
"Understandable," Jared said taking a step away from Robert.
It took a few minutes to reach the limousine. Jared and Mercedes sat side by side facing Robert. A young man was seated in the driver's seat of the car. Robert turned to look at the driver and said, "Take us to the Branding Iron, Brother George."
"You got it Brother Robert," George replied.
"He's your little brother?" Jared asked.
"Yes," Robert said.
"There seem to be a lot of Ables around," Jared said.
Robert said, "We tend to get a little excited when an Anders or a Sanders starts dating."
"You don't say," Jared said.
"You definitely don't want to violate the dating contract. Every member of the Anders family is, or will be, a lawyer. If you hurt one of them, the best of them will be all over you. When they finally get done taking every dime you've ever earned or will ever earn, then us Ables get a turn at you," George said.
"Don't scare the man like that, Cousin George," Mercedes said. "Karen initiated negotiations."
"What? He didn't have the balls to ask her first?" George asked.
"Cousin Timmy brokered the deal while they were still in the exploratory phase leading up to initiation of continued negotiations," Mercedes said.
"You and Cousin Timmy are facing off on this one?" George asked.
"Yes," Mercedes answered. George laughed.
"This is going to be fun to watch," Robert said with a grin.
"Why?" Jared asked.
"You do want to get in Karen's lacy underwear, don't you?" Mercedes asked.
"I plead the fifth," Jared answered not trusting the huge smile on Robert's face.
"Of course you do. It is my job to make it happen as quickly as possible. Timmy's job is to delay it as long as possible," Mercedes said. "If we're lucky, you'll be laid by your tenth date."