Alice dashed into the room and announced, "I'm pregnant!"
Sid and Sally looked over at her. Sid realized that he was about to lose another lover. Sally smiled at the good news and said, "Congratulations."
"Yes, congratulations," Sid said remembering his manners. It hurt to think about another child of his out there that he wouldn't have a part in parenting. It still seemed wrong to him somehow.
"I've got to go now. Thank you, Sid. You're an amazing man," Alice said looking down at the floor feeling a little embarrassed at all that she had done while fixated on sex with Sid.
"You're quite a woman," Sid replied with a smile.
"Thanks, Sally," Alice said.
"You're welcome," Sally answered. She watched as Alice ran to the door to share the news back on Cassandra. She turned to Sid and said, "You have to go now."
Feeling that sick feeling grow in his stomach, Sid said, "I love you."
Sally helped Sid get to the portal. As she pushed him through the door, she said, "Maybe next time you can bring Cynthia."
The door closed behind Sid before he had a chance to say a word. He stepped out of closet and found that he was face to face with Cynthia. She didn't look happy. The next thing he knew was that she had slapped him across the face as hard as she could. She shouted, "How dare you!"
"What?"
"You were telling me the truth!" she shouted despite the fact that telling the truth wasn't really something that people normally considered to be a bad thing.
"Huh?" He wondered if he had forgotten something important from when he had left for Crossroads. Three years was a long time to be gone.
Cynthia looked at him furious and said, "You told me the truth knowing that I wouldn't believe you!"
Stunned at the twisted logic coming out of her mouth, Sid asked, "What are you talking about?"
"There really is a planet called Crossroads and another called Chaos. You went there and slept with all of those beautiful women. You left me here," Cynthia said stamping her foot on the floor. She crossed her arms and stared at Sid as if challenging him to deny it.
"I invited you to go with me," Sid said stepping back when it looked like she was going to slap him again.
She glared at him and said, "How was I supposed to know that such a wild story was actually true?"
Feeling a thread of anger welling up in him, Sid answered, "Because I told it to you and I've never lied to you about anything."
"I know," Cynthia said collapsing onto the floor and bursting out in tears. He had told her the truth and the only one she could blame for not believing him was herself.
It broke Sid's heart to watch her crying like that. She looked positively miserable. He knelt down and hugged her. Softly he said, "We can begin your training anytime you want."
"I don't know if I want that," Cynthia said. The entire time that Sid had been gone, she had only been thinking about what he was doing. As far as she was concerned, he had spent the entire time making love to women.
"What do you want?" he asked.
"I don't know," Cynthia said even as she started crying again.
It had taken some time, but Sid finally managed to get Cynthia calmed down and into the living room. There had been several moments when he was sure that she was going to storm out of the house out of anger, but she had stayed. Handing her a cup of tea, he said, "Drink this. It will help you calm down."
Taking a sip of the tea, Cynthia decided that she wanted to know all of the gory details about his time with the women. Knowing those details would help her decide what she was going to do about this situation. She had liked Sid except for his obsession with that fantasy world, but discovering that it wasn't an overactive imagination had cast her feelings for him in doubt. Looking over at him, she said, "Tell me about your adventure."
"I'm afraid that it is going to take a long time to tell you all of it," Sid said wondering if she would stay to hear the entire thing.
"Why? You were only gone fifteen minutes," Cynthia said. That was just long enough for a fast in and out with some strange women.
"I was gone for three years," Sid answered. He looked over at the clock and realized that he didn't remember his schedule for the upcoming week. Trying to remember his daily schedule after three years was a challenge. Shaking his head, he said, "Remind me to look up my class schedule."
"Three years?" Cynthia asked starting to get angry again. He didn't look three years older.
"Yes. I lead an army to war. It took two and a half years to win the war and establish order before I left," Sid answered.
Frowning, Cynthia said, "Tell me about it. Start from the moment you left here."
"Well, Sally Caretaker was waiting for me when I stepped through the portal. She was very disappointed that you didn't come with me. She even had created an outfit for you to wear," Sid said.
It was impossible to ignore the affection with which Sid spoke Sally's name. Cynthia asked, "Why was she disappointed and what kind of outfit did she create for me?"
"I guess I have to tell you a little more about the women of Cassandra for you to understand why she was disappointed that you didn't come," Sid said not really answering the question.
"Okay, tell me about the women of Cassander, but first tell me what kind of outfit she created for me," Cynthia said. She figured it was going to be something that would make her look like a frump. Women could be such bitches when it came to fighting over a man.
"Well, she was wearing a loin clothe that came down to her knees. The loin clothe was transparent and embroidered with gold thread. It was held up with a gold chain around her waist. Other than that, she was naked. She had an identical outfit for you," Sid answered.
"Huh?" Cynthia said imagining what the other woman must have looked like if she was willing to compete on the basis of a body to body competition.
"Yes, it was very sexy. I'm sure you would have looked fantastic in it," Sid said hoping the compliment would take a little of the ice out of her voice.
"I seriously doubt it," Cynthia said.
"Why do you say that?" Sid asked looking over at her. She was a well built woman and he didn't see any obvious flaws in her body.
"Women don't act that way. She's going to do everything in her power to make me look ugly and awful in your eyes," Cynthia said.
Sid laughed at the comment and shook his head. He said, "You really don't understand the women of Cassandra."
"I know women," Cynthia said.
"She's so proud that I have you in my life. Her only disappointment is that we haven't been intimate yet," Sid said. All of the Damsels had commented on that.
"She's just saying that," Cynthia said.
Shaking his head, Sid said, "No. She really means it. Did you know that there are actually television shows and magazines devoted to Heroes from Earth? From what I understand, they are pretty steamy with blow by blow accounts of the Damsel's experience with the Hero. The fact that I actually have a girlfriend who is considering coming on an adventure with me as a Hero Companion is big news."
"What?" Cynthia asked sitting up and staring at Sid.
"Yes. It turns out that very few Heroes have brought a Hero Companion to Chaos with them. There have been a couple of Hero Apprentices, but that's a different thing altogether," Sid said.
"So you are telling me that she wants us to be intimate and that all of Cassander will hear about it," she said.
"It's Cassandra, not Cassander. And the answer to your question is yes. If you step through that portal with me, she's going to want to know all of the details about your sex life so that she can brag about it," Sid said.
"Brag? You mean use it against me," Cynthia said having a difficult time believing a word he was saying. Of course, the last time she had not believed him, he had been proven to be telling the truth.
"Yes, she'll want to brag about it," Sid said knowing that Cynthia didn't believe him. He sighed and said, "Let me tell you a little about the women of Cassandra."
For the next hour Sid regaled her with stories about the obsession with sex demonstrated by the women of Cassandra. He described how Laura Author was continually playing matchmaker around the camp. More than one young woman had a fun filled evening as a result of Laura's meddling. Cynthia listened to the stories Sid told. At first, she didn't believe him, but the sheer quantity of details about what the women said and did eroded her doubts.
Sid slowly transitioned to telling her about his campaign. She laughed at the stories about Barson, Olaf, and Albert. She cried when she learned about how Sid had helped Fred bury Sandra Lawyer. It took some time to appreciate what it meant when Fred had sworn service to Sid, but once she realized the importance of it she was amazed that Sid had been able to command that kind of loyalty.
The storytelling session paused while Sid prepared a nice meal. While they were eating, he described the kinds of meals he had eaten while on the road. It seemed strange to her to have cheese and meat for breakfast. The idea that eggs were a luxury item while traveling with a medieval army was very surprising. It was as if he was telling her about another world completely. It dawned on her that was exactly what he was doing.
After cleaning up the dishes, Sid took her back to the living room for an after dinner coffee. Although she had come to appreciate his manners, it always took her by surprise at the attention he paid her when she visited. Visiting Sid required a few minutes for her to remember her manners and to act in an appropriate fashion.
Sid was about to tell of the treachery of the enemy when the doorbell rang. Looking in the general direction of the door in surprise, he stood and said, "Excuse me while I get the door."
"Of course," Cynthia answered.
Sid walked over to the front door and opened it. His mother was standing at the door looking around at the property. With a frown on her face, she said, "Give me some money."
"Hello, Mother," Sid said unsurprised by her rudeness.
"I need a thousand dollars," she said trying to look around him to see the interior of the house. She was positive that Gerald had to have left Sid with a small fortune stashed away inside the house somewhere.
"I'm sure you do," Sid said blocking the doorway with his body.
"Well," his mother said looking at him.
"Well, what?"
"Aren't you going to get your checkbook?" she asked holding out her hand and rubbing her fingers together.
"No, ma'am," Sid answered.
"You owe us," his mother said.
"I owe you nothing, Mother. I paid rent when I lived at your house. You sold some of my possessions when I was in Iraq. I owe you nothing," Sid said looking at her levelly.
"I'm your mother!" she screamed.
"If you have nothing else to say, I ask politely that you leave my property," Sid said looking around at the neighbors. The old man across the street was watching the drama unfold.
"I'm not leaving until I get a check," his mother said.
"Please leave," Sid said.
"You're an ungrateful little bastard. You're just like Gerald sitting here with all of that money and not helping out your family," she said. Her voice kept rising until it was nearly a shout.
Shaking his head, Sid knew better than to argue with his mother. She wouldn't be satisfied until he was broke and even then would insist that he find some way to get her more money. It hadn't taken her long to spend all of her inheritance. In a calm even voice, he said, "Please leave now or I'll be forced to call the police. You are disturbing the peace."
"I'll give you disturbing the police..." she shouted.
Sid stepped back and closed the door. He counted to ten while listening to her scream at the door. Adopting all of the control he could muster, he went into the living room and faced Cynthia. In a soft voice, he said, "Excuse me while I take care of an unpleasant situation."
Having heard the entire discussion, Cynthia said, "Don't worry about me."
Sid called the police and waited for them to show up. His mother had gone to her car and was blowing the horn to get his attention. She'd blow the horn for fifteen seconds and then shout at the house for him to come out with his checkbook. Sid waited patiently for the noise to come to an end.
Cynthia watched the situation through the living room window. The crazed women immediately got into a fight when the police arrived. It started with her screaming and then escalating into a slap. At that point, the police wrestled her to the ground and cuffed her.
There was a knock on the door and Sid went to answer it. On opening the door, he said, "I'm sorry to have to call you out here on a nice night like tonight, Officer."
The officer looked back at his partner wrestling the woman into the back of the patrol car. He hated domestic quarrels, but this one had a different feel than most. It took him a moment to recall that he'd had to take away another angry woman from this house a couple of months earlier. Looking back at Sid, he said, "It's my job. Now tell me what happened here."
Sid gave a very straightforward account of the events in an easy pace. He didn't embellish. He didn't talk about his feelings in the matter. It was just a sequence of facts detailing what she did and what he did. The officer wrote down the details without having to ask any questions. He wished that more people could detail the facts in such a good organized manner. When Sid finished, he asked, "Is there anyone who can collaborate your version of events?"
"Yes. The old man across the street witnessed the entire thing," Sid answered. He pointed to the old man who had been joined by a crowd of neighbors interested in the events.
"Thank you. If you'll stay here, I'll go talk to him," the officer said.
Sid sat down on the step and watched the officer walk over to the old man. To him, it had been three years since his uncle had died, but the actual amount of time was closer to three months. It amazed him that his mother had blown through the inheritance in that short period of a time. It wasn't long before the officer returned and said, "He verified your version of the story."
"Of course," Sid said.
"We're taking her to the station. She'll be charged with disturbing the peace, assaulting an officer, and resisting arrest. Do you wish to charge her with trespassing?"
Sid shook his head and said, "No. I'll be in touch with my lawyer and have a restraining order put on her."
"She's your mother," the officer said raising an eyebrow.
Shrugging his shoulders, he asked, "What would you do if your mother demanded everything that you owned so that she could drive around in a sports car, bask in a spa, and buy dresses that she only wears once?"
"My mother wouldn't do that," the officer said reacting to the suggestion that his mother was a gold digger.
"My mother has done that my entire life. She'll stand in front of this house demanding that I hand over money until I have none left. Then she'll demand that I sell what I have. When that's gone, she'll tell me to get a loan," Sid said looking at the patrol car that held his mother. Shaking his head, he said, "She cleaned me out when I was in Iraq. She sold everything I owned while I was off defending this country. Never again will she get a dime from me."
"Shit, I don't blame you," the officer said disgusted at what he had heard. It was wrong for anyone to take advantage of a soldier like that. He looked down at his notes and said, "I don't need anything more from you. We'll be going, now."
Sid returned to the house and entered the living room. Cynthia had heard almost the entire discussion between Sid and the Officer. It was hard to believe that growing up with someone like his mother that he was able to treat women civilly. Looking a little uncomfortable, Sid said, "I'm sorry about that little bit of unpleasantness."
"I understand that you had to take care of the situation," Cynthia said. She looked at him for a second and then asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really. I appreciate the offer to vent, but I'm not all that upset by it," Sid said. Three years away from his family had given him an entirely new perspective about them. He had seen his mother with the same detachment he would have with a total stranger.
Cynthia nodded her head and decided that it was better to drop the subject. She said, "You were about to tell me something concerning some guy by the name of Hunter."
"Ah, yes," Sid said. He sat back and started telling about Hunter's campaign. She felt the appropriate level of indignation when she heard about the treachery of Holland. Much to her credit, she didn't have a problem with Sid's act of justice.
Cynthia had listened to Sid's stories about his adventure for the entire evening. Images of him charging into battle with his sword swinging seemed to do something for her. It was the kind of masculine image that many women found impossible to resist  a dangerous man who could act with violence while staying on the right side of good. It was the same image that drew women to a man in uniform. In short, his stories were turning her on.
Sid looked over at the clock and said, "Wow, I didn't realize that it was so late."
Cynthia glanced at the clock and saw that it was after ten. She licked her lips trying to decide what to do. It seemed as if the entire world had stopped. There was a roaring in her ears. Her heart beat fast and it seemed hard to breath. Looking nervously over at Sid, she asked, "Should I tell my mother that I'll be home in the morning?"
The question surprised Sid. Despite the nature of the question, he recognized that it didn't necessarily mean that she was offering to sleep with him. Of course, he couldn't ignore the suggestion. Recovering, he said, "That would be nice. You can use the telephone in the kitchen."
"That would be fine," she said feeling inordinately pleased with her bold move.
Standing up, Sid said, "Allow me to show you the way to the telephone."
"Thank you," Cynthia said. She gave an extra little wiggle to her
walk on the way to the telephone. She had a feeling that she was going
to be one happy woman by the time morning rolled around.
The End