Day 119 Tuesday
Susan looked at the suitcases that contained her clothes. Despite having lived with Dale for sixteen months, she had not acquired any personal belongings other than new clothes. She went over to the computer on her desk and double-clicked the icon for the movie of her weight loss. She watched the fat woman transform into a beauty that men desired and women wanted to be. She said, "I can watch that video every day and never get tired of it."
"It is quite a change," Denise said watching the video. It was a remarkable transformation. It would be impossible to believe that it was the same woman from the before and after pictures. The fat slob had morphed into a beauty queen.
"Yes," Susan said with a private smile of satisfaction. It had been a very tough sixteen months and it was still hard to believe that it was over.
"You've taken the week off," Denise said more as a question than a statement.
"Yes, I've got to get the apartment fixed up. All of the furniture is scheduled to arrive today and tomorrow," Susan replied.
"How long are you going to live in the apartment?" Denise asked.
"I'm going to stay there while we search for a house. We have the money for a down payment, but there is no reason to rush it. I want the right house in the right neighborhood. That will take some time to find," Susan answered. They had almost making the mistake of putting some money down on the first house they could afford despite the fact that they didn't really like it. She and Chuck decided that they wouldn't look for a house until after they were married. There were enough things to do that adding to the burden would be a rather stupid thing to do.
"I think you would rather stay here until you found a house. Why move twice?"
"A slow but sure approach to a problem usually brings a better and longer lasting solution," Susan answered. She'd seen that with her weight loss. After years of attempting quick solutions, she had seen that they never worked. Sixteen months of balanced meals, exercise, and leading an active life had shown her that slow worked better.
"Still, it will be rather uncomfortable in that apartment," Denise argued. The fact was that she didn't want Susan to leave. The idea that Dale would be turning to her for sexual release four times a day was a nightmare come true.
"I can put up with that to achieve what I really want," Susan answered calmly.
Denise sighed and asked, "There's nothing I can say to convince you to stay?"
"No. I've finished the program," Susan said. She looked over at her friend and said, "Don't let it get you down. You've come a long way."
"Yeah. I can now deep throat him," Denise said in disgust. She had gone through hell learning how to suppress her gag reflex enough to swallow his cock down her throat. Now she could take a man's cock down her throat like a porn star. It wasn't something that she was all that proud of being able to do.
Smiling at the look of disgust on her friend's face, Susan said, "The man you marry will appreciate that more than you can possibly guess."
"The man I marry," Susan repeated dully. She still expected to end up an old maid.
Denise said, "By the time you are done with the program, you'll be able to make any fantasy that a man has come true. Deep throat, threesomes, dress-up, role playing, and anything else that his dirty little mind can imagine will all be within your power to give him. He's going to be a lucky man."
"What about me?" Denise asked.
Susan said, "You'll be very happy with the result. He'll move mountains for you."
"So you say," Denise said looking at her friend unconvinced.
"You still doubt everything," Susan said. She shook her head and said, "Skepticism and suspicion are healthy except when taken to an extreme. It is time for you to really look around and take stock of what you see."
It was not new advice. Susan told her the same thing almost daily, but Denise didn't accept the advice. In a way she felt that Susan had tricked her into joining the program. She admitted that her introduction to it was not the most favorable one, but it had worked. She said, "I'll see."
Susan looked at her friend thinking about how much further she had to go in the program. Once Denise accepted the fact that she was a sexual being and that being sexy had little to do with appearance, she wouldn't make much progress on the emotional and mental parts of the program. It was so easy to ignore that critical aspect of being a balanced person. After having been through the program, she had come to realize just how crippled most people were. The physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional parts of being a person could never be in balance until the sexual aspects were addressed. How could one be confident if the moment their clothes were removed they fell apart in shame? How could one be confident with a lover if the act of love was performed in ignorance? How could one focus on the real problems of life when inner sexual demons worked to distract you?
It had taken her almost a year to realize that Dale was trying to achieve balance of all of the inner forces that drove her. She had learned to tame hunger by satisfying the body's need for nutrition. She had learned to tame her sex drive by satisfying the body's need for sexual release. She had learned how to tame her wants by focusing on her needs. She had learned how to tame her greed by appreciating the little things around her. She was physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy for the first time in her life.
Pulling away from her thoughts, she went over to Denise and hugged her. She said, "I'm going to miss being around you so much. Promise me that you'll come over to visit occasionally?"
"I promise," Denise said.
"I better go now," Susan said.
Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought of Susan leaving. She wiped her eyes and said, "I can't believe I'm crying."
That was enough to start the waterworks as both women broke down into tears. It was a strange mix of emotions that flowed through the two women. Susan was looking forward to starting a new chapter in her life knowing that a particularly tough chapter had just come to an end. She was also concerned for her friend and felt as if she was abandoning her at a critical time in her life. Denise was sad to see her friend leave and worried about what she would find upon moving on with her life. She was also envious of what her friend was doing.
Thirty minutes later, Susan walked out the door carrying her suitcase. After getting into her car, she drove off to start her new life. Denise watched her go with a heavy heart. She went to her car and headed off to work knowing that she'd be late. Feeling a little depressed, Denise chose not to go directly to work. Driving around aimlessly, she came across a coffee shop and decided that she'd stop and get a cup of coffee.
The coffee shop was packed with men and women getting ready for a busy day of work, shopping or normal household errands. Despite the large line, not many people were staying there to drink their coffee. The place couldn't have handled a lot of people staying around drinking coffee since it only had six tables all of which were occupied by a single person sitting at them. Denise sighed as she got into line to order a coffee and hoped that a table would open up by the time she was done.
After getting her order, Denise looked around and saw that none of the tables were free. She didn't want to sit in her car and drink her coffee. She didn't want to drive off somewhere in the hopes of finding a place to enjoy it. Dismissing the tables with two or more people at them, she was left with a choice between an old woman, a guy with a bunch of papers spread in front of him, and an overweight woman. She decided to ask the overweight woman if she minded sharing the table. Going over to the table, Denise asked, "Mind if I join you?"
The overweight woman slowly looked up at her and took stock of the woman standing in front of her. She relaxed on seeing that she wasn't one of those blond soccer moms, thin business women, or young cheerleader types. She answered, "Go ahead."
Denise sat down at the table and took a sip of her coffee. She noticed that the woman had a paper plate with the remains of a slice of coffee cake on it. She had been tempted to get one, but had resisted without much effort. The hot cereal still sat heavy in her stomach. She said, "It is busy here this morning."
The woman had noticed Denise eyeing the plate that was in front of her. She said, "I've given up dieting."
"Why?" Denise asked.
The woman answered, "The only reason I dieted was because my soon-to-be ex-husband wanted a slender woman."
"Oh, sorry," Denise said wondering if she was going to get pulled into a long diatribe of the woman's troubles.
"The bastard took off with one of those fashion model types. The skinny bitch grabbed him at work and never let go," the woman said bitterly.
"Oh," Denise said.
The woman sighed and said, "Just wait until she gains a couple of extra pounds. He'll be gone after the next skinny bitch."
"I guess," Denise said trying not to get drawn into the discussion.
"Men are disgusting."
"Not all of them," Denise said. She would do anything to have a nice man in her life. The fact was that she was doing things now that disgusted her in the hope that she would lose enough weight to get a man.
"They are all disgusting. The only thing they think about is sex. They're always waving their cocks in front of your face expecting you to fall back in bed overcome with desire," the fat woman said. She snorted and said, "Like that is ever going to happen."
"I know what you mean," Denise said thinking about Dale and his constant demands for sex. She wondered if he was all that exceptional. Maybe every man wanted sex four or five times a day.
"That bastard wasn't satisfied with once a week. I gave him two kids, what more did he want?" the woman asked.
"I guess he wanted sex," Denise answered.
"You ever just look at a man's penis?" the woman asked leaning forward and dropping her voice on the last word.
"Not really," Denise answered. She had seen Dale's cock up close and personal, but she had never really just examined it. She did her best to keep her eyes closed. Of course, with Dale throwing a towel over her head she tended not to see much anyway.
"It is a pretty disgusting thing. Looks kind of like a piece of rancid sausage atop a wrinkled half filled coin purse," the fat woman said. She shook her head in disgust. She added, "Every time that bastard waved his penis in front of me I wanted to barf. It is hard to believe that God would actually create something so ugly. Of course, God created the wart hog, so there's no telling what God thinks it pretty."
"I suppose," Denise said hoping that she'd be able to get the visual image of rancid sausage out of her head before Dale presented her with his cock to suck. As much as she hated it now, she could only imagine how she would feel the next time.
"All men do is take. They don't give anything back," the fat woman said with a trace of anger in her voice.
"I guess," Denise said.
"Now that the rotten bastard is gone, I'm going to have to get a job," the fat woman said.
"Working isn't that bad," Denise said. She already worked for a living and didn't understand why working was that bad of a thing.
"You don't understand. I'll have to work and take care of the kids. That's the same as two full time jobs," the woman said shaking her head.
"He'll be giving you child support, won't he?" Denise asked.
"Honey, that won't cover shit," the fat woman said shaking her head. She said, "He's screwed me royally by running off with that skinny bitch."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Denise said.
"I better get off to my job interview. With that bastard running off with the skinny bitch, I've got to get a job," the woman said rising from the table.
"Good luck," Denise said.
"It is just a job at a burger place," the fat woman said. She turned to leave without picking up her trash.
Denise watched the overweight woman walk off. She moved with a slovenly shuffle that was lethargic. Shaking her head, Denise took another sip of coffee thinking about how the woman wouldn't be able to support herself with a job at a burger place. At least she had a job that paid well. The woman's words had re-enforced one idea that Denise had about men and that was that men were only interested in skinny women. She looked down at her body and wondered how much more weight she would have to lose before men looked at her. She had a feeling that it was going to be a lot.
She sat at the table silently considering her situation. Susan was gone and she was going to be alone in the house with Dale. She wondered if he was going to start playing new kinds of mind games with her now that she was without the support of her friend. Her mind created unrealistic scenarios including one with a hidden subbasement that was fixed up like some sort of torture dungeon where she would be trussed up and unable to resist the strange men that Dale brought over to have their way with her.
She shook her head when she realized just how ridiculous that idea was. Susan had told her that she'd had sex with four people since beginning the program: Dale, Donna, Denise, and Chuck. Her friend hadn't lied to her about any aspect of the program. There was not a subbasement filled with torture equipment and she knew it. She sighed and finished her cup of coffee thinking that it was well past time for her to get to work.
The day was filled with work on a software manual for an update of a product about to be released by Dale's company. The changes were relatively minor and she thought that he was paying too much money for such a minor change. It wasn't her place to negotiate the cost and schedule of jobs accepted by the company.
She did notice a few abnormal behaviors and documented them before sending them off to the engineers at the software company. It was normal procedure for her to do that when things didn't seem to function correctly. More often than not it was because she hadn't understood the proper procedure and the engineers would send back a note that explained how that particular functionality was supposed to be done. She would add the corrected procedure to the manual and include a warning of what would happen if the incorrect procedure was followed. The result was a better and more complete document.
She headed off to lunch. Since she hadn't packed anything that day, she decided that she'd head down to the sub shop and get a sandwich. Once she had gone through the line and gotten her sandwich, she looked around for a table to sit at. There was a table with a middle-aged woman sitting alone. The woman was at least twenty-five pounds overweight. She was watching a table with a young couple that was obviously in love with a smile on her face. Denise headed over to the table and asked, "Can I join you?"
"Sure," the woman answered with a smile. She gestured down to her sandwich and said, "I see that we are both on the same diet."
"I guess," Denise answered looking down at her sandwich.
The woman laughed and said, "I'm not really dieting. I've been this size for eight years. My weight doesn't fluctuate more than two pounds and that is because of my cycle."
"Oh," Denise said looking over at the woman. She noticed that she was sitting up straight and looking around the room with interest. The contrast with the woman earlier that morning was like the difference between night and day.
"Yes. One day I said to myself, this is what I am and it is time to accept it so that I can move on with my life," the woman said.
"Oh," Denise replied at a loss for words.
The woman nodded her head and said, "That was the day when I realized that I had everything in my life to be happy. I've got a great part-time job as a bookkeeper for a small company. My husband is great and the kids are a handful. My daughter is growing up to be a gorgeous young woman and my son is the on the football team. He's the center. My daughter takes after my husband and is skinny as a rail. My son is a big boy like me."
"Sounds lovely," Denise said with a sigh. The woman was describing the life that she wanted.
The woman took a bite out of her sandwich and chewed it with obvious pleasure. After she swallowed, she said, "I really like the sandwiches here."
"They are good," Denise said looking down at her sandwich. She started to unwrap it.
The women chatted about little things going on in the world while eating. Since Denise usually ate alone, the company was a refreshing change. The overweight woman finished her meal and glanced at her watch. She had a few minutes to kill before she had to head back to work. She looked across the table at Denise and shook her head. She leaned over and said, "You know what I said about accepting myself?"
"Yes," Denise answered cautiously.
"I mean it. You'll be a lot happier once you stop worrying about your weight and accept yourself. You might want to look around at your life and see what little opportunities for pleasure there are."
Denise asked, "Like what?"
"Like making long glorious love with a man. You can find a lot of pleasure in eating a good meal. There's the reward of doing a good job. One of my favorite things to do is to take a long soak in the tub filled with bubble bath and scented oils," the woman answered.
"I guess," Denise said. She was looking for a man to whom she could make long glorious love with and Dale wasn't him. She was good at her work, but it was just a job. It had been years since she had just soaked in a tub of water. The idea of having to look at her naked body had put her off that a long time ago. Of course, now that she was naked all of the time at the house made that a rather stupid reason not to do it. It didn't dawn on her that she was spending time in the whirlpool and the swimming pool now.
"I'm not saying that a little change isn't good, but you have to focus on the positives and not the negatives," the woman said.
Denise thought that it was a very succinct summary of the advice that Susan was always giving her. She asked, "What positives?"
"I don't know," the woman said.
"All I want is a good husband, a house, and some kids," Denise said. Forgetting that she was talking to an overweight woman, she said, "I'm so fat that I can't find a good husband. Men don't want anything to do with fat women."
The woman laughed at the comment and said, "You just have to accept that there is more than enough of you there to attract and keep a man very happy."
"I don't see it."
The woman looked over at Denise and answered, "You've got a cute face and pretty eyes. When you get a man's cock in your mouth and look up at him with those baby blues then you'll wrap him around your little finger. Men can't resist that, particularly if you are really enjoying what you are doing.
"Your breasts are voluptuous enough to satisfy any breast lover. They are big enough for you to suck your nipples. Men love that. I guarantee that any man would love it if you pour a little baby oil between them and let him slid his cock between your breasts. If you make a big production of rubbing his come into your skin after he comes that he'll be out buying you flowers the next day.
"If you get physically fit, then you'll be able to give any man the ride of his life in bed. With your padding, he can really go wild atop you. Believe me when I say that there is nothing better than having your man let loose and really fuck you senseless."
Denise stared at the woman in shock. The woman sounded exactly like Susan. She said, "You're kidding."
The woman leaned forward and said, "There was a time when I was very unhappy. I gained this weight when I gave birth to my two kids and nothing I did got rid of it. I was surly all of the time. I was about to lose my husband. I was frantic thinking that a fat woman raising two kids alone was destined for a hellish life.
"One day, I sat down and really considered my situation. I knew that my husband used to love me and I was tempted to blame my weight for losing him. Then I realized that I hadn't been a very nice person. I was more worried about my weight thinking that if I could get rid of it that all of my other problems would disappear. Then I realized that what really needed changing was my attitude. That night I fucked my husband senseless and did things in bed that I had never done.
"The next morning, I made him a huge hot breakfast without worrying about if I would get fat eating it. I sucked him off before he went to work that morning. He left the house with a huge smile on his face. I realized that I had saved my marriage.
"I cleaned that house from top to bottom that day. It looked better than it ever had before I had the kids. I worked like a woman possessed. I was dead tired by the time I was done, but I looked around and was happy. It looked like a home rather than a dump. My husband was shocked when he came home from work."
"Wow," Denise said.
"That was the day I became a happy woman," the woman said. She smiled and said, "I work with another woman who is a lot thinner than I am. Would you believe that the men flirt with me more than her?"
"No," Denise answered finding it a rather ridiculous assertion.
"She's a bitch and I'm friendly. The guys in the office all come to me when they have a problem. It is funny," the woman said. She glanced down at her watch and said, "I have to go now. You take care of yourself."
"Thanks," Denise said. She watched the woman clean up the table and deposit the trash in the waste can while she made her way out of the store. As the women left, a young man held the door open for her. Denise couldn't hear what the woman said to the young man but he had a smile on his face by the time the woman had left. She noticed that he had glanced back at the woman when she had left. It seemed a little strange to her that an overweight woman should produce such a reaction from a man clearly a decade younger than her.
Denise returned to work and quickly forgot about her lunch conversation. Throughout the day, she checked her e-mail occasionally waiting for a reply from the engineers while documenting other features of the software. Even though there weren't many changes, she had to make sure that every aspect of the manual was correct. This took time and she didn't mind going through page after page of the document making sure that it accurately reflected the current version of the program. When the time came that any reply from the engineers would be too late to allow her to finish that section before the end of the day, she headed home.
It was early that day when Denise made it to the house. She stripped and wandered around the empty house feeling lonely. The time passed slowly while she waited around dreading Dale's return. She knew that she'd have to satisfy his urges three times that evening. She figured that she'd have oral, regular, and anal sex with him that evening and wasn't looking forward to it.
It was well after Dale's regular return time when the telephone rang. She answered the phone and learned that Dale was going to be working late that evening. There was some last minute crisis on a major release of a new project that demanded his attention. She was to get something to eat and not wait for him to return. He expected to be home in time to monitor her exercise program and take the nightly picture of her.
For Denise, the sudden reprieve from being a come receptacle for the evening was a cause for celebration. She made a nice meal for herself and ate it taking great pleasure in every bite. She ate at the dining room table enjoying the peace and quiet. She figured that it would be the last meal she would enjoy for a long time without the taste of come in her mouth. That thought kind of soured the moment, but she didn't let it get her down.
Without Susan around, the evening seemed to drag on forever. It was getting late and Dale still hadn't returned. Deciding that she would perform the exercise routine without waiting for him, she headed down to the basement. She stared at her bed wondering when he would move her upstairs to Susan's old room. Susan had told her that she'd move upstairs once she stopped being a fat woman and Denise wondered how much weight she would have to lose before that day came.
Dale had cut back the amount of exercises that she was to perform feeling that she was losing weight too quickly. Ignoring his instructions, she did a hundred repetitions of each exercise. She wanted to lose the weight and his concerns didn't matter to her. The sooner she lost the weight, the earlier she could leave the program.
She had long finished the exercises and was ready for bed when Dale returned. He found her at the basement and, with exhaustion evident in his voice, said, "I'll take your picture now and then head off to bed."
"What about..." Denise started to ask and stopped in surprise at the words that were about to come out of her mouth. There was no way that she was going to ask him about having sex. If it slipped his mind, then all for the better as far as she was concerned.
"I'm pretty beat. Just a blowjob tonight before bed," Dale said. The words were just out of his mouth when he yawned.
"Okay," Denise said knowing that the wish that he might skip having sex for one night was just too much to hope for.
Dale waited as Denise got into position for her nightly picture. It took her a few seconds to settle into the correct pose. The camera was securely placed on a substantial fixed mount and was never moved. He used the memory cards to transfer the images to his computer. He took the picture and looked at the results. She was properly framed. With a sigh, he said, "That's done."
"Okay," Denise said. Although it was a hassle having her picture taken every night, she had come to appreciate the video that he made of her weight loss. She could just sit there for hours watching the transformation that her body was undergoing.
Dale came out from behind the camera and pointed to his crotch. She went over to him and knelt down. She would have preferred having intercourse to giving a blowjob. Giving a blowjob required a lot more activity on her part. Intercourse only required her to lie there like a beached whale while Dale grunted away. Looking up at him in disgust, she asked, "Don't you want to cover me?"
"I'm too tired. I'll just close my eyes," Dale answered. He closed his eyes even as he spoke.
Denise went to work on his cock. It was not a particularly good blowjob since it more closely resembled a handjob with just the head of his cock in her mouth. Dale would have complained about the lackluster performance, but he was just too tired. After a boring six minutes he came in her mouth. She looked up at him and asked, "Anything else?"
"No," Dale answered finding that he was feeling angry. He had just finished a tough day in the office and all he had wanted was a halfway decent blowjob. Instead, she had given him one of the most boring blowjobs of his life.
"I'll see you in the morning," Denise said.
"I've got to get into the office early tomorrow. I'll see you tomorrow night," Dale said while turning to leave the basement. He reached the stairs and looked back at her. In a quiet voice, he said, "You need to learn a little empathy."
"What the hell does that mean?" Denise asked.
"Never mind," Dale replied. He was too tired to argue with her.
"Oh," Denise said watching him leave. Her first day at home alone with Dale had turned out to be quite different than she had thought it would be. She sat down on the edge of her bed and stared across the cold basement. She thought about the two conversations that she had with the overweight women.