Julia looked at the two men who had just entered the office. They were wearing dark suits with polished shoes. They each had a bulge where they would carry a firearm in a shoulder holster.
One of the men said, "Have I ever told you how much I hate Titus?"
"Only a dozen times," the other man said.
"For months the wife has been after me to take her to the opera. Every time I turned around she was jabbering about this opera versus that opera. Finally, I cave in and get tickets to the Magic Piccalo..."
"It's the Magic Flute, Sir."
"Right. For the next month all I hear from her is all about how I'm going to find some excuse not to go. I even turned down an invitation to a Bachelor Party so I can take her to the opera. So the big night finally arrives. I'm standing there in my suit and she's all dressed up. We're just about to head out the door and the phone rings. She gives me this look..."
"I'm well familiar with that look, Sir. My wife gives it to me every time you call," the other man said.
"I answer the phone. The Director tells me that I have to swing by the office and pick up a check before flying out that night to meet with Titus in the morning. My wife, that dear sweet little woman I married, just hauls off and hits me."
He removed his sunglasses and pointed to his eye. He asked, "What do you think of that shiner?"
The other man removed his sunglasses and pointed to his shiner. He said, "That's almost as good as mine. Last night was our anniversary."
"I hate Titus as much as I hate Magus. You know that, don't you?"
"Yes, Sir. You've told me that a hundred times."
The first man turned to Julia and said, "Tell Titus that the FBI is here to see him."
Julia swallowed heavily and then squeaked, "Titus."
"He's not going to be able to hear that," the agent said.
"Titus," she said just a little louder.
The agent said, "Just use the intercom."
"They don't answer it," Julia said.
The agent said, "I hate Titus."
"You've told me that before, Sir," the other agent said.
"Titus!" the agent shouted.
"What?"
"FBI!" the agent shouted.
"Come in and bring the dolly with you," Titus shouted.
Julia watched the two FBI agents enter Titus' office. She climbed out from under her desk. She tried to relaxed a little. She had barely gotten in her chair when the front office door opened and three State Troopers entered.
One of the troopers asked, "What do you know about this Magus fellow?"
"The only thing I know is that the Captain hid under his desk when he heard that Magus was on the phone," one of the troopers answered.
"Captain Hardass hid under his desk?" one of the troopers asked with a skeptical laugh.
"Yep. The old man told me to get here ASAP and to do whatever Magus said. He mentioned it would be in my best interest not to challenge the man," one of the troopers said.
"We're the State Police. Who does he think he is?" one of the troopers said.
"Julia!"
The three state troopers looked around. One of them asked, "Where did the receptionist go?"
Another trooper leaned over the desk and said, "She's under the desk."
"Julia!"
"She's hiding!" one the troopers shouted back.
"Who are you?" Magus shouted.
"I'm Sargent O'Hara of the State Police."
"Come in my office and bring the dolly with you," Magus shouted.
The three men looked around for a dolly. There wasn't one.
"There's no dolly out here," one of the troopers shouted.
"Well, get in here!" Magus shouted.
Julia nervously peeked out from under her desk and looked around. The room was empty. She crawled out and sat in her chair. It was really uncomfortable under the desk particularly with a cast on her foot.
The door opened and two men entered. One of the men said, "Have I told you how much I hate Titus and Magus?"
"Every time their name gets mentioned."
"I hate them," the man said. He looked at Julia and said, "Tell Titus we're here."
"Who are you?" Julia asked.
"We're the IRS," the man answered.
Julia looked in the direction of Titus' office and said, "Titus."
"He's not going to be able to hear that," the man said.
"Titus," Julia said a little louder.
"You need to put a little air behind it. You know, use your diaphragm," the man said.
"I don't like shouting," Julia said.
"Why are you working here?" the man asked.
"I need the job," Julia said.
The man said, "I can understand that. Every time I'm told to come here, I think about quitting. I don't quit just because I need the job."
"Sorry," Julia said.
"Try again," the man said.
Julia looked in the direction of the office and said, "Titus."
The agent shook his head. He said, "That won't do at all. Put some power into it or I'll audit you."
"You'll audit me?" Julia asked wide-eyed.
"I'll go over your past returns going back seven years."
"TITUS!" Julia shouted.
"There are times I love my job."
"What?" Titus shouted.
"THE IRS IS HERE!"
"Tell them to wait," Titus shouted.
"WAIT HERE!" Julia shouted.
"You don't need to shout at us," the agent said rubbing his ear.
"Sorry," Julia said looking a little sheepish.
"See, you can shout," the man said.
"Thank you," Julia said.
The man said, "Next time, just think audit and let loose."
"Thank you," Julia said.
The door opened and a man wearing a thousand dollar suit entered the office. He looked at the three IRS agents and shook his head. He could spot a fed from a mile away. Based on their appearance he decided they were IRS.
Julia asked, "Can I help you?"
"I've got an appointment," the man answered.
"Your name?" Julia asked.
"I'm Ted Leary from the Attorney General's Office."
Julia asked, "Federal or State?"
"State," Ted answered surprised by the question.
Julia said, "I'll let Magus know you are here."
"MAGUS!"
"What?" Magus shouted.
"THE STATE ATTORNEY GENERAL IS HERE."
"Have him wait," Magus shouted.
Ted was rubbing his ear. He asked, "Haven't you ever heard of an intercom?"
"They don't use one," the agent from the IRS said.
"Who are you?" Ted asked.
"We're the IRS."
The two FBI agents came out with one of them pulling the dolly. It was piled with boxes of folders.
Pretty sure they were FBI, Ted asked, "Who are they?"
"FBI."
Titus shouted, "Julia!"
"WHAT?"
"Send in the IRS," Titus shouted.
Julia gestured in the direction of Titus' office. The men were already headed for it.
Ted said, "IRS and FBI. Who else is coming?"
"Everybody," Julia said.
"I'm serious, who else is coming?" Ted asked.
"Everybody. They've got appointments every fifteen minutes, Each appointment is with a different government agency," Julia said.
Another man entered the office. He stepped up to the desk and said, "I'm Harold Blythe from the Department of Education."
"State or Federal?" Julia asked.
"Federal," Harold answered.
Julia said, "You're after the Attorney General."
"State or Federal?"
"State," Julia answered. "The Federal will be in after your appointment."
Magus shouted, "Thursday!"
"What?"
"We need another dolly!" Magus shouted.
Thursday shouted, "I'll get one."
"Thank you!" Magus shouted.
Harold asked, "Don't you believe in using the intercom?"
"No, they don't," Julia answered. "I better make a sign."
The three state troopers came out of Magus' office. Each of them was carrying a box of files. They looked heavy. One of them grunted, "Could you get the door?"
Ted opened the door for the men.
Harold said, "I wonder what the State Police are doing here."
"Julia," Magus shouted.
"WHAT?"
"Send in the Attorney General!" Magus shouted.
Julia gestured towards the door. Ted headed in. The door to the office opened and a sharp dressed woman entered the room. She stood there posing long enough to assure that everyone in the room noticed her.
The door opened behind her and another attractive woman entered the room. She took one look at the first woman and growled, "What is Coax News Network doing here?"
"What is Wolf News Network doing here?" the first woman screeched.
"Our ratings are better than yours!" the woman from Wolf said.
"I was here first!" the woman from Coax said.
Magus shouted, "Julia! Have Igor remove the person Wolf News Network!"
Titus shouted, "Julia! Have Hagar remove the person from Coax News Network!"
Magus shouted, "Where's that dolly?"
Titus shouted, "Where's that dolly?"
An FBI agent came in the office and asked, "Where do you want the dolly?"
Julia sighed and then said, "This is going to be a long long day."