Claudia entered the office pushing a stroller. Irene looked over at the stroller and cooed, "Isn't she cute."
"Thank you," Claudia said with the kind of pride in her child that only a mother can achieve.
Magus came out of his office and looked in the stroller. He frowned and shook his head in dismay. He said, "She's a Gerber baby."
"That's a bad thing?" Claudia asked.
"She's going to grow up to be a beautiful woman. You know how I feel about that," Magus said. Shaking his head, he said, "You'd think that she'd have inherited some of Igor's ugliness."
"Phil isn't ugly," Claudia said.
Magus said, "I'm not going to do the coochie-coo thing."
"I didn't think you would," Claudia said.
Magus said, "You named her Helen after Helen of Troy, didn't you?"
"Well, that was Phil's idea," Claudia said. She knew how Magus felt about Helen of Troy.
"The face that launched a thousand ships and killed a city," Magus said.
Irene said, "Be quiet, Magus. She's a beautiful baby girl."
"Stay here," Magus said grumpily. He went into his office and came out with an envelope. He handed it to her and said, "This is a little present for her."
Claudia opened the envelope and studied the contents. It looked like legal papers of some sort and she wasn't really in a position to study them. She asked, "What is it?"
"A college fund. It should be enough to cover four years of college when she gets old enough," Magus said. Seeing the look of shock on Claudia's face, he said, "I can't have a goddaughter of mine growing up uneducated."
"That's very generous of you," Claudia said overwhelmed by the gesture.
Magus grumped and said, "Maybe you can ugly her up by that time."
"You're horrible," Irene said.
"I've got to get back to work," Magus said. He headed into his office grumbling.
Leaning over to Irene, Claudia whispered, "He has a problem showing affection."
"He has a lot of problems and that's the least of them," Irene said.
Claudia said, "I came here to talk to him about my job."
"You know where his office is," Irene said.
Magus called out, "If you come in here then hold the baby. It will remind you that you're a mother and not a beautiful woman."
"He's terrible," Irene said.
"I know," Claudia said while picking up Helen. She headed into the office saying, "I need to talk to you."
"You want to be a stay at home mother," Magus said gruffly.
"Yes," Claudia said feeling a little guilty.
"Okay," Magus said.
Claudia said, "That's it?"
"I can't compete with a baby," Magus said. "Besides, being a mother is a much more important job than being a receptionist. Everyone knows that."
"Not everyone," Claudia said. She felt that a lot of people looked down at stay at home mothers.
"Anyone who has half a brain knows it," Magus said. He pointed to Helen and said, "She's our future. If you want a good future, you raise your children to be responsible caring adults."
"I agree," Claudia said.
Magus nodded his head and said, "You're lucky. A dad is a dad, but a mother is always special. Did you know that the busiest day for the telephone company is Mother's Day?"
"No, I didn't know that," Claudia said.
"It is," Magus said. Shaking his head, he said, "You are going to be the most influential person in her life. It is a great responsibility. It is also one of the most rewarding things a person can do. You'll worry when she gets sick. You'll never forget the day she takes her first step or says her first word. You'll suffer through her first failed love affair. You'll strut like a rooster when she graduates high school. You'll feel left behind when she heads off to college. You'll boast when she graduates college. You'll weep like a baby when she gets married. The life you've chosen is special."
"I'm looking forward to it," Claudia said.
"I'm sure you'll enjoy it," Magus said, "I hope you'll remember your days here fondly."
"I will," Claudia said.
Waving a hand to dismiss her, Magus said, "Go talk to Titus. He has a present for Helen, too."
"Thank you, Magus," Claudia said.
"Go. I'm sure Titus is waiting anxiously to see Helen," Magus said gruffly.
Claudia came around the desk and leaned over. She kissed him on the cheek and said, "I love you too, Magus."
"Stop that. You know how I feel about that mushy stuff," Magus said.
Claudia smiled and left his office. She winked at Irene. She said, "He has real problems with intimacy."
"You can say that again," Irene said.
Stephen came out of his office and looked at the baby. He frowned and said, "She's a Gerber baby."
Irene said, "It is frightening how alike those two are."
"I'm going to have a lot to talk about with his mother the next time she calls," Claudia said.
"You named her after Helen of Troy, didn't you?"
"It was Phil's idea," Claudia said.
"You know how I feel about Helen of Troy," Stephen said grumpily.
Irene said, "This is really disturbing."
"I know," Claudia said rolling her eyes.
"Too bad Igor's genetics didn't take. She's going to grow up to be as beautiful as her mother," Stephen said.
"That is not a bad thing," Irene said.
Stephen said, "I'm not going to do the coochie-coo thing."
"I didn't think you would," Claudia said.
Stephen held out an envelope and said, "This is little present for Helen."
"What is it?" Claudia asked.
"It is a trust fund for when she is old enough to drive. It should be enough to get a modest and safe car," Stephen said. "It explicitly stipulates a safe car. We can't have her driving a convertible sports car. That's not safe."
"That's very generous of you," Claudia said surprised by the gift.
"Well, you know... ," Stephen said. He shrugged his shoulders at a loss for words.
"I know," Claudia said.
Stephen said, "I assume that you've decided to be a stay at home mother."
"I have," Claudia said.
"It makes sense. There's no job as important as being a mother," Stephen said. "You can ask my mother if you don't believe me. She'll tell you the same thing."
"I'm sure she would," Claudia said.
"I better get back to work. I've got a big project for the FBI, classes to attend, and homework to do," Stephen said.
"Thank you, Stephen," Claudia said.
"I'm sure that you have motherly things to do, so I'll go back in my office," Stephen said walking away.
Claudia watched Stephen return to his office. She said, "His mother did a good job raising him."
"Too bad Magus ruined the effort," Irene said smiling wryly.
Claudia returned Helen to the stroller. Once the baby was strapped in, she rubbed the baby's cheek and said, "You are a Gerber baby, aren't you? Yes you are."
Irene held out a package and said, "I got her a gift."
Claudia unwrapped the package. Inside the box was a pink girl's baby snow suit. Claudia held it up. She said, "It is so cute."
"I liked it," Irene said. She felt a little embarrassed about it considering the gifts that Magus and Titus had given Helen.
"It is perfect," Claudia said. "She's going to look adorable in this."
"I'm glad you like it," Irene said.
Carefully folding it up to put it back in the box, Claudia said, "I love it. This is a present that I can use. Thank you very much."
Irene felt a lot better about her present. She said, "You're welcome."
Claudia said, "I'm going next door to see Phil."
"I better warn you before you go over there, Poindexter has a present for Helen," Irene said.
Claudia rolled her eyes and asked, "Don't tell me he bought her a computer?"
"What do you think?" Irene answered.
"Someone is going to have to tell him that an infant can't use a computer," Claudia said.
Irene said, "I tried to tell him that. I mentioned that infants can't type."
"What did he say?" Claudia asked.
"He said he would install some voice control software on it," Irene answered.
Claudia laughed. "Doesn't he know that babies can't talk?"
"I mentioned that to him," Irene said. "He said he would figure something out."
Excited, Jake came running into the office. He said, "Claudia, Stephen told me you were over here. I'm glad I caught you before you left. Can I insert a sensor in Helen's head?"
"No," Claudia said looking at Jake incredulously.
"I guess we'll have to go with the second option then," Jake said sounding disappointed. He said, "It doesn't work as well as the other device, but it will have to do."
"What are you talking about?" Claudia said.
"The thought sensing skull cap," Jake said impatiently. "Irene told me that your kid can't talk or type. We can't allow someone to go through life unable to communicate with the rest of the world. It just isn't right."
"My kid is a baby," Claudia said gesturing to the stroller.
Jake leaned over and looked in the stroller. Surprised, he said, "It is a baby."
"Yes," Claudia said.
"I didn't know that you had a baby," Jake said. "I thought you adopted a kid."
"You didn't notice that I was pregnant?" Claudia asked. Holding her hands out to show how large she had been, she added, "I was the size of a small elephant."
Jake shrugged his shoulders and said, "I thought you had gained a little weight. Knowing how women are about their weight, I was careful not to mention it."
"I had a baby," Claudia said shaking her head.
Irritated, Jake looked at Irene and then said, "I thought you said that she got a kid and that it couldn't type or talk."
"I said she had a baby. You were looking through one of your catalogs while we were talking," Irene said.
"Oh yeah, that's right," Jake said.
She looked over at Claudia and said, "He gets distracted easily."
Jake said, "This is a problem. Babies can't use computers."
"I know," Claudia said.
Jake was silent for a second and then said, "We can still try the skull cap. That would be kind of cool. Helen could set a record as the youngest computer user in the world."
"I'm not sure that is such a good idea," Claudia said. She didn't know what a thought sensing skull cap was, but the idea of putting such a thing on her baby scared her.
"It would be great experiment. Let's go over to my office. I've got a dozen of the skull caps lying around the place. I'm sure we can rig up something," Jake said getting excited.
"We don't experiment on babies. That's not allowed," Claudia said patiently.
Rubbing his hands together while imagining the possibilities, Jake said, "Just think. It could tell you when it is hungry, tired, thirsty, or has a dirty diaper. It could tell you that it isn't feeling well. That would be so cool."
"No it wouldn't. You are not going to experiment with my baby," Claudia said a little more forcefully.
"It would be better with the sensor that we install in the head, but the skull cap should work alright anyway," Jake said thinking aloud. He looked at Claudia and asked, "Will you be here for a couple of minutes?"
"No, I'm going home," Claudia said thinking that it would be best if she left rather than risk Jake absconding with Helen for some mad scientific experiment.
Seeing the desperate look on Claudia's face, Irene said, "Poindexter, I think the NSA is trying to hack into your computer again."
"Those fiends," Poindexter said running from the room. "I have got a surprise for them this time."
"Thank you," Claudia said.
Irene smiled at Claudia and said, "He's easily distracted."
"Some things don't change," Claudia said.
Irene looked at Helen sleeping in the stroller. She sighed and said, "I wonder if I'll ever have a baby."
Claudia said, "The first step is to get Leland to propose."
Stephen came out of his office in time to hear Claudia's comment. He looked at Irene and asked, "You want Leland to propose?"
"Yes," Irene said.
"That's easy enough," Stephen said. "Every man has his weakness."
"He's right. Phil proposed while I was wearing my cheerleader costume," Claudia said.
"That won't work for Leland," Irene said.
Stephen said, "Of course it won't. You'd have to run naked through the forest like a wood nymph to get Leland to propose."
"You're kidding?" Irene said. She couldn't imagine herself doing that.
"No. There's a place about an hour from here where you could do it without being observed. We have a client that owes us a favor," Stephen said.
"You're not kidding," Irene said.
Stephen said, "You could take him there for a picnic. After a little potato salad, Cole slaw, fried chicken and a couple bottles of wine, you could slip behind a bush to strip and then let the chase begin. He'll propose the second that he catches you. Let me find a map."
"Me running through the woods naked," Irene said trying to imagine it and finding it impossible.
Claudia said, "It just might work."
Irene shook her head and said, "I just can't see me running naked through the woods. No. I just couldn't do it."
"Try picturing that with Leland proposing marriage right after your mad dash," Claudia said.
"Maybe I could do it," Irene said.
Stephen came out with a map and said, "I got the place marked on the map. There are driving directions and a contact number for the owner written on it. I called the owner and the place is yours and yours alone this weekend. Happy hunting."
"Thanks," Irene said while looking over the map.
"I'm off to class," Stephen said. He looked in the stroller and shook his head. "Gerber baby. Ugh!"