Chapter 23
Jake, Leslie, and the Morris Turner family arrived back in Columbus on Wednesday afternoon. They picked up their cars at the airport and went back to the duplex. Charlene and Leslie went grocery shopping while Jake and Mo scooted over to Fort Benning to sign in, find out what was going on, and pick up a training schedule for the rest of the week. Most of their class was back from leave and looking for the same information. Jake and Mo checked their room to make sure it was squared away. They had to do a little dusting and Jake buffed the floor, otherwise they were in good shape. Mo checked with their student squad leader to find out their detail for tomorrow morning, then they split for home. Jake laughed while Mo bitched about them drawing latrine clean-up duty again.
"It is military justice at the lowest level," Jake told Mo. "Since we get to go home every night, the fellas figure cleaning the shit-house is the least we could do for them."
Mo started laughing as well.
"Yeah, I guess it's a small price to pay to get to spend every night with Charlene and Mikey. By the way, I meant to tell you before how much it tickles Charlene when you call her Charlie. She smacks you and makes a fuss, but she loves it. Charlene was the oldest of three girls; no brothers, so you've been elected the big brother she never had."
Back at the house, the men separated and went into their respective doors. The smell of pork chops hit Jake in the nose as soon as he came through the door.
"Hi, honey; I'm home," he yelled as soon as the door closed behind him.
Leslie came out of the kitchen carrying a glass of ice tea for him. She gave him a smooch and sat him in the recliner.
"Dinner will be ready in ten minutes or so; stay out of the kitchen until I call you," Leslie said.
"Yes dear," Jake replied dutifully.
It was a sitcom perfect domestic scene if you overlooked the fact that the wife appeared to be barely thirteen, even dressed-up. Well, maybe an Ozark sitcom would be more like it. Jake complimented Leslie on how nice she looked as she pirouetted in front of him. Leslie was wearing a short, pale-yellow dress that hugged her developing little curves. Matching two inch heels adorned her slender bare legs. She had brushed her hair until it glinted so black it was almost blue. Charlene had been applying a relaxer to Leslie's hair and it was less wild now and more manageable. Leslie looked a lot like the singer Cher -- in a darker, miniature version.
Jake watched the news as Leslie hummed in the kitchen. The aroma of biscuits and gravy had Jake salivating as if he were a laboratory dog. Ten minutes stretched into twenty before Leslie came for him. It was worth the wait, Jake decided, as he looked at the spread she had placed on the table. Leslie could whip up a southern meal with the best of them and she had outdone herself tonight. Jake did not get many of these meals because Melissa and Trish were on a health food kick. Jake dug in as Leslie beamed her happiness at his enjoyment.
After dinner, Jake and Leslie went next-door to play cards with Mo and Charlene. Mo and Jake had taught the women how to play military style double-deck pinochle. Pinochle decks only contain nines and above, two of each. Double-deck pinochle uses the tens and above from two decks, eighty cards total. Charlene called pinochle 'poor man's bridge' because of the similarities in bidding and play. Jake and Leslie were the reigning champs and took great delight in demolishing all comers. Jake and Leslie headed home at nine-thirty, once again victorious. Leslie rubbed it in a little, just as they headed out the door.
"Sorry for your luck, Chuck," she told Charlene as she kissed her on the cheek.
"I get even with you tomorrow, Pee Wee, when I have you write an essay on the evils of being prideful," Charlene countered.
Leslie stuck her tongue out at Charlene and ducked, giggling, behind Jake when the teacher made a fake grab for her. Leslie was still laughing when they got back to their place.
"It is amazing, Jacob, that I feel like a young girl so much of the time, considering I am almost seventy-two."
She spun around and pressed herself up against him.
"Kiss an old lady and make her happy," Leslie said from the bottom of her register in about the sexiest voice he had ever heard.
They kissed inside the doorway as Leslie walked backwards pulling Jake along. When they reached the couch, she pushed him down onto it, then sat in his lap. Jake would have been content just holding her; however, Leslie had a much different agenda. She nibbled his ear and whispered.
"Tonight is the night, my man. I want you to make love to me. I'm the worlds oldest and horniest virgin. I know all of your arguments -- so don't try to weasel out of this. I've been to Melissa's doctor and I'm on the pill. She even checked me out and said I would not have a lot of pain because my hymen has already been partially notched. I talked with Melissa and Trish about it and they said to go for it. So, you being hard-headed is now the only obstacle."
Jake accepted his fate. She had marshaled a formidable argument. Jake decided that he was going to meet Muffy's gynecologist one day; she was maintaining his fleet of women in a most excellent manner.
Jake stood up and picked Leslie up with him. He carried her to the bedroom and laid her on the bed. Leslie watched silently as he stripped; her thighs were tightly clenched with arousal. Oh Lord, he was a handsome man, she thought, and all mine for the next week. She shivered at the thought of all they could do in seven days.
Jake climbed on the bed and started unhooking the buttons that ran down the front of her dress. She sat up so he could slip it off her shoulders. Leslie relished the admiration for her body she saw in his eyes. Yes, she was petite -- but she had a good, balanced figure. Her little body was already giving pointed hints at the lushness it would attain. Her hips were narrow but her ass jutted out saucily. Her breasts were still small but they were perfect little half oranges sitting high on her chest. Her nipples were big in contrast to the rest of her breasts and, tonight, were hard enough to cut glass.
Leslie lay panting as Jake hooked his fingers in the waistband of the sexy panties she had worn for him. It seemed as if it took forever for him to drag the filmy yellow bikinis off her. Leslie had left the little thatch of hair on her mons intact; it was silky fine and downy soft.
"You are a beautiful woman, Les," Jake said. "You are going to break a lot of hearts."
"I'll never break yours, Jacob. And I don't picture any other man getting the view you are enjoying."
Jake surprised her by rolling her over. She started to protest until she felt his fingers and lips trailing over her skin. He is so sweet, she thought, taking his time to make it better for her. Her pump was already primed but his attention still felt marvelous. She cooed her appreciation and ground her little quim against the rough chenille bedspread as he nipped her taut little butt-cheeks with his teeth. The slow pace that he used was new to her but she liked it a lot.
Jake flipped her onto her back suddenly and swooped his face down into the juncture of her thighs. His tongue was thick and hot as it burrowed into her saturated slit.
"Oh, Jacob, stop teasing me or I'll explode," she moaned.
Jake heeded her request and ferreted out her surprisingly prominent clit. As soon as his tongue swiped across the nexus of nerve endings, she arched off the bed and flooded his face with her tangy juice. Leslie did not cry out or yell when she came, instead she let out a series of soft oh, oh, ohs that was sexy as hell. Jake gave her a few more languid licks as she came down from her climax. Her body would jerk every time he hit her clit.
Jake moved up beside her and took her into his arms.
"Wow," she said, "That was wonderful. You are the first man who has ever spent that much time just loving on me. I think I like it."
"And I think you never deserve any less. Now are you ready to give up your title as the world's oldest and horniest virgin?"
"Oh yeah, if I was any readier I'd slide off the bed from the wet spot."
Jake laughed and rolled over, pulling her on top of him.
"Go at your own pace, Les; take your time. I don't want you to hurt even a little because of me."
Leslie nodded and straddled his hips. She fisted his shaft and ran the head of it up and down her slit. When he was as wet as she was, she put the knob at her entrance and pressed down on it. Her eyes got wide as saucers when the crown started pushing against the remnants of her maidenhead.
"I think this is where you say it's just like a dick except it's small and white," Jake joked.
"It is about as big as I've ever had; plus it's a lot harder than I ever remember one being. Now shut up and let me enjoy this," Leslie giggled.
She bore down a little harder and he popped though her tattered membrane. Leslie stopped for a minute and took a breath. She exhaled and sank down another couple of inches. Twice more she did the pause and drop thing until she had sunk all the way down his stalk.
Jake could feel every inch of his dick sheathed in her tight, oily, warm cavern.
"Man, do you feel good wrapped around me," he said.
Leslie responded quietly as she savored the moment, "It feels as if you are so far up me another inch and you would come out my mouth. I can feel me stretching to accept you. It is a weird and wonderful feeling. The doctor was right about it not being painful, though. I just feel incredibly full."
Leslie made a tentative move with her hips. When she did not feel any discomfort, she rose up a little and sunk back down. When she bottomed out, she flashed him a smile then started moving for real. Jake put his hands on her small hips and let her have at it. Leslie started a corkscrew motion Jake had never experienced before. As she went up and down, her hips moved in little circles. Jake knew he was not going to be able to hold out for long if she kept that stroke up and told her so. Leslie's eyes were squinted shut; she nodded, but, instead of stopping, she sped up. Jake gritted his teeth and tried to hold back his orgasm.
He reached down and diddled her clit with his thumb to distract her. His little diversion sent her over the edge. She sank down hard on him and started her little oh-oh-oh chant. Her chest and face flushed dark red and her pussy started spasming. Jake exploded into her clasping channel like a fire hose. His orgasm made hers even stronger. After about thirty seconds of crooning, she slumped down onto his chest.
"That was about the most perfect moment of my life, Jacob," she said when she finally caught her breath.
He concurred. He reached over and pulled the bed spread over them, turned on his alarm clock, and shut off the light. She fell asleep on top of him smiling blissfully, his dick still in her.
Jake and Mo started the last phase of OCS on their first day back from Christmas break. The schedule was compressed somewhat because of the holiday. Jake and Mo would study together in the evening at Jake's apartment while Leslie and Charlene hung out at Morris' place. At nine Mo would go home and Leslie would come home to try to fuck Jake unconscious.
Leslie had not been kidding when she said she liked sex and was good at it. In addition, she had the added motivation of being crazy about Jake. When Melissa and Trish arrived in the middle of the following week Leslie simply included them in the festivities. True to her word, Leslie was not possessive or jealous. She basked in the love she received and reflected it back on her lovers. Leslie was also excellent at keeping her sexual nature and relationships recondite and opaque. Around Mo, Charlene, and the rest of the world she was a talented young teenaged girl; at home, both in the kitchen and the bedroom, she was a grown woman with a very different set of talents.
The last four weeks of school slid by. On February the fifth, Jake and Mo were commissioned officers in the US Army. Jake was honor graduate and Mo was distinguished graduate. Muffy and Major General Pulaski, the Adjutant General of the Florida National Guard, pinned on Jake's gold bars. Charlene and a delighted Leslie pinned on Mo's. Jakes parents were there with toddlers Joseph and Julia, as was Sven, Helga, and Erika Johansson. General Pulaski was most pleased that Sven had a professional videographer film the entire ceremony. Pulaski congratulated Jake and told him how pleased he was with Jake's performance.
"Pick a school, Lieutenant," the General said, "And we'll send you to it."
"I want to go to the Airborne Course, Sir," Jake said without hesitation. He had thought about the question every time he had pulled latrine duty.
"Done," said Pulaski.
Jake's dad took everyone, include the other Turner's, out to dinner that night to celebrate. When they returned home, Jake and Mo sat out back at the picnic table talking into the early morning hours. Jake had convinced Mo that his career needed two things to get on the fast track: a college degree and an assignment to one of the newly formed Ranger Battalions. Mo had applied for and was accepted for Ranger School. He had a class-date for shortly after the eight week Infantry Officer's Basic Course. If he passed the Ranger course, he had a follow-on assignment with the 1st Battalion, 75th Rangers, right there at Fort Benning.
Jake handed Morris an envelope while they sat at the table. The envelope contained a receipt in Mo's name for a year of paid tuition at Columbus College. Inside the house, Melissa gave Charlene a similar envelope. Charlene's envelope contained the paid-up lease for their apartment for the next twelve months and the receipts for the furniture in both houses, including the piano. Melissa told Charlene to keep what she wanted and to donate the rest to charity. Mo and Charlene were speechless, then tried to hand the gifts back; but Jake and Melissa had the same story -yes, it was a gift, but it was more an investment in the future for themselves and others.
Jake and his extended family flew back to Florida the next day. Mo, Charlene, and Michael were at the airport to see them off. The women all cried and made Mo promise to let his wife and son stay at the ranch while he was in Ranger school. Jake was even misty-eyed as he shook Mo's hand.
After a relaxing five days at the ranch, Jake reported to the Yankee Spring Training Facility in Fort Lauderdale on February twelfth. Pitchers and catchers were invited to report early; the rest of the team would arrive on Monday the seventeenth. Jake tried not to let his awe at being on the field with Catfish Hunter and Thurmond Munson show, but it was the stuff of childhood dreams. Jake was one of four minor league pitchers invited to camp. Most notable of the other three was Ron Guidry, a surprisingly small left-hander from Louisiana. Guidry was pitching for the Yankee's AAA Columbus Clippers and looking to break through to the big club this season.
Jake liked Guidry and Catfish Hunter from the get-go. They were both friendly and encouraging. Thurmond Munson, however, was a different story. Munson was fiercely competitive and whatever was the exact opposite of friendly. Another good guy that Jake met was relief pitcher Sparky Lyle. Lyle said that 'Munson was not moody, he was just mean, because a moody person was at least nice once in awhile'. One thing Munson could do however, was extract the best out of a pitcher by keeping him focused. It only took one trip to the mound by Munson's fierce countenance to get Jake's undivided attention.
Jake caught no end of grief because of his age and his rookie status. Every practical joke and indignity the veterans could dream up was pulled on him. Jake told Melissa about all this in his nightly call to her after a particularly trying day. Melissa had not make the trip down to Lauderdale because of her advanced pregnancy. She was in her eighth month and as big as a house.
"And it's only going to get worse when the rest of the team gets here," Jake finished.
"Poor Baby," Melissa said teasingly, "Mama will make it better."
Jake figured that she was teasing him for whining and promptly forgot the conversation. Jake told Melissa how much he missed her and how he felt bad about not being with her while she was pregnant. Melissa told him that she felt good and already had enough people fussing over her all the time.
"Concentrate on your pitching, Hubby; Junior and I are just fine," she said.
Norman McMurray was there working along with the Yankees' regular pitching coach, Mel Wright. Jake received a lot of attention from both. Jake was in the best physical condition of his life because of the hard physical training regime at OCS and working out at the gym with Mo Turner. Athletes in the mid-seventies were not much for off-season conditioning; so, with the exception of Ron Guidry, Jake ran them into the ground. It was a small victory for Jake; by now, he had to lug his gear home with him every night to keep the veterans from sabotaging it. Just this morning he found out too late that someone had doused his jockstrap with wintergreen. It took ten minutes in the shower to stop the burning.
Even though Jake was the butt of their pranks, he slowly earned respect for his ability on the mound. When the rest of the team arrived, Jake had his fast ball clocking near a hundred mile per hour. In addition, his curve ball was breaking on demand and his off-speed stuff was baffling. McMurray was teaching Jake and Ron how to snap their sliders so they ran in on a right-handed batter. Jake's slider still needed work but Guidry's was getting to the point that it would become his money pitch.
Jake was showering on the second day of full camp when Erika Johansson pulled up outside the locker room. When she got out of her rental car, every guy in the parking lot forgot about leaving and went to see if they could help her with anything. Erika was wearing a short summer dress and sandals. The dress made her sun-bronzed legs look a mile long and aimed at heaven.
Stu Ferguson, a long ball hitting first baseman currently playing in Columbus, was the first to reach her.
"Can I help you, beautiful?" Stu said smarmily.
"Could be; I'm here to pick up my boss," Erika said.
"Well, I don't know who your boss is -- but you can certainly pick me up," Stu the Charmer said.
"If I picked you up, little man, it would be by your balls," Erika said smiling sweetly. "My boss is Jake Turner; say, I guess he's sorta your boss too, since his wife owns part of the team. Now be a good boy and go tell him I'm here."
"Yes, ma'am," said a chastised Stu.
Ferguson quickly headed towards the clubhouse. Who would have guessed the big kid had that kind of clout? Wait until he told the fellows about this; they would outright crap themselves, he thought. Jake never did find out why the hazing diminished so abruptly.
Jake had a pretty good training camp, he pitched in six games for a total of eighteen innings, he gave up five runs, four of them earned, and struck out a respectable twenty-two opposing players. He was batting over three hundred and had hit a couple of dingers. He might have done even better if he had not taken the second week of March off.
On March sixth, Jake had just returned to his motel room from dinner when the phone rang.
"It's time, Baby; Erika is on her way to get you. Trish is driving me to the hospital now; Doctor Pritchett is meeting us there," Melissa said calmly.
Jake gulped; he suddenly had a lump in his throat the size of a baseball.
"Hang in there, Muffy; I love you, and I'll be there as soon as possible."
Jake broke the connection and called Coach Wright with the news. He threw his shaving kit into his small carry-on bag and paced the floor waiting for Erika. The ten minutes it took Erika to get there seemed like two hours to Jake. Jake could not believe how nervous, scared, and excited he was. Jake flung open the door and rushed out as soon as headlights flashed on the window. The car had barley stopped when Jake yanked open the door and dove in as if he were a bank robber making his getaway.
"Calm down, Jake; I'll get you there in time," Erika said.
"I know you will. Jesus, I can't believe I'm this nervous; I've had nine months to prepare myself."
They arrived at the small Lauderdale General Aviation Airport in fifteen minutes. Jake was glad that Melissa insisted that Erika stay in Lauderdale to fly him home. He would have crashed on take-off as high-strung as he was. It took another long five or six minutes for Erika to preflight the Cessna and run up the engine to operating temperature. Jake willed himself to be still and quiet as she went about her business. One hour and fifteen minutes later, Erika shut down the engine and she and Jake exited onto the tarmac in Palmdale. Ramon Diaz was waiting for them in the ranch's station wagon and drove them to the Hospital.
Jake walked into the maternity ward waiting room and found it was standing room only. Jake had to smile at the line-up of Melissa fans pacing back and forth. His dad was there, along with Sven Johansson and Quincy Nobles. All three told Jake that they were there 'just in case' until he arrived. Maria Thornton was sitting talking quietly with Sven's wife Helga and Carmen Diaz. The concern of his friends and family almost overwhelmed Jake. Before he made a fool of himself, Helga kissed him on the cheek and propelled him towards the delivery room.
Jake put on a gown and went inside. Jake's heart leaped up into his throat when he saw Melissa lying there in obvious discomfort, a light sheen of sweat coating her face. When she saw him, she broke out into a big smile. Jake pulled a chair up to the bed and held her hand.
"Your son is not making this easy," she said. "Doctor Pritchett says it might take five or six more hours."
"I'll be a psychiatric patient here by then," Jake said.
Melissa squeezed his hand as a labor pain wracked her.
"Whew, that was a good one. I'm starting to think that maybe natural childbirth was not the way to go." Then she giggled. "Boy, wait until he's a teenager and messes up, I can lay a guilt trip on him about how much pain I endured giving birth to him."
It took seven more hours before Jacob Elliot Turner, Junior, made his head-first appearance. Jake sat beside Melissa and held her hand the entire time. He finally met the fabled Doctor Pritchett that night when she swooped in to deliver Junior. Janice Pritchett was an attractive blonde in her late forties. Jake thanked her for taking care of his wife.
"I should be thanking you, Mr. Turner," she said. "All the business you've sent my way has made me a wealthy woman."
Melissa was wheeled into a private room after she delivered their son. She insisted that they bring in a cot for Jake so he could stay with her. Jake had sent everyone home at eleven the night before, so he called Maria at six in the morning with the news and details. Maria said for him to get some sleep; she would notify everyone a little later. Jake thought he would never be able to sleep on the roll-away cot an orderly brought in; instead, he was out like a light as soon as his head hit the pillow.
Jake took his wife and son home on Sunday the ninth; Trish had organized a welcome home for them that involved mainly a bunch of women going ga-ga over little Jacob. Junior was passed around as if he were a big bag of Cheetos. Jake's sisters were there and so were Helen and her twins. Joey and Julie were amazingly bright and inquisitive toddlers. Jake still could not actually see Elliott Buckley in them even though they were much advanced for their age; they did look like Jake at an early age.
All his Murphy female cousins were there as well. Mary was holding her grandson, Sean Patrick Murphy III. It was good to see Nina Mallory Murphy; she was deliriously happy married to Sean. By all accounts, Sean was happy too. Mary said that Sean was a different man now that he and Nina were married; gone was the often sullen and tormented soul she had fretted over.
Cousin Claudia, the go-go business woman, looked good. She had blossomed into a poised and confident young woman. Claudia was currently dating a young lawyer named Timothy Weatherford. Sean Senior had almost had a heart attack at the combination of Tim's being of English extraction and a lawyer. He had to be the devil himself with a pedigree like that, Sean opined. Mary told Helen that Timothy must love Claudia a lot to keep dating her even though he was terrified of her father. Jenny Murphy sat and took it all in, quiet as ever. Her man Larry had a year and a half left at the Naval Academy.
Jake was in the kitchen getting a glass of water when Mary's daughter, the young Nina, came in to talk to him. Nina was growing up, she was fifteen and very pretty. Jake slipped an arm around her waist and hugged her.
"I can't wait until tomorrow," Jake said, "Because you get prettier every day."
Nina blushed and kissed him. Jake could already see in her the Nina that he had a crush on in his other life-time.
"I'm glad you think so, Jake. Mama told me about you and our family last night when we were talking about coming over here today. I thought about it all night and asked her some questions this morning. She said it was your right to claim my virginity if you wanted to and it was your duty to take it if I wanted you to. I'll be sixteen in September; that's what I want for my birthday," she stammered.
Jake was taken aback by her declaration. He told her that, when September rolled around, they would talk about it if she still felt the same way.
Jake requested and was assigned to the Tampa Yankees again -- being in Tampa allowed him to spend time with his wife and baby. It was a marvelously happy time for them all. Trish and Leslie were wonderful as they helped Melissa adjust to motherhood and helped with the baby. Tanya Nobles and Carmen Diaz also doted on little Jacob. Tanya stuck Junior with his first nickname; she called him 'Junebug'. The baby slept in the master bedroom for those two months, in the cradle that Quincy had made for him. That made it a lot easier for Melissa to nurse him during the night. The sight of Melissa sitting in a rocking chair feeding his son endlessly fascinated Jake. His heart turned to jelly as he watched them.
In the middle of May, Jake jumped up to the Yankees' AA team, the Norwich Navigators of the Eastern Baseball League. Jake pitched four games for the Navs before being called back to active duty to attend Jump School. Jake was all business in Norwich and it showed in his pitching performance. He was four and oh with a miserly 0.85 earned run average. The forced separation from his family was tough on him -- but he knew he had to pay his dues, so he stoically endured it. The Yankee organization was none to happy with his recall. Major General Pulaski had the governor call Steinbrenner personally to smooth things over.
Jake arrived home on June the twelfth for a week to get ready for Jump School. It was a terrific home-coming. Muffy was more beautiful than ever, happily back to her normal weight. She was inordinately proud of her milk-enlarged breasts on her small frame; she said they counterbalanced her big ass. Baby Jacob was a joy as well. He was happy and healthy and probably too well cared for. If he grunted or gurgled, four or five women would descend on him to see what was wrong. Junebug was also getting an early education in business as Melissa took him to work with her almost everyday. It was a novel experience for her employees to have the boss excuse herself from a meeting so she could nurse her baby.
Jake drove up to Benning on the eighteenth; he found his room at the Bachelor Officer's Quarters then went to sign in at the Airborne Committee's orderly room. The first sergeant gave Jake a copy of the training schedule and told him to be at the assembly area near the thirty-four foot jump towers at 0630 hours Monday morning.
Jake's next stop was at the duplex to visit with Mo and Charlene. It was a nice visit. Mo had finished his basic course and was now an instructor at OCS while he waited for his 30 June class date for Ranger School. Mo told Jake that he was thankful that Jake was going to jump school. He said he would no longer have to be embarrassed that his best friend was a leg. A leg was a derogatory term paratroopers called those unfortunate souls who were not airborne qualified. For her part, Charlene was only interested in seeing pictures of the baby. She said she was excited about coming down to Florida while Mo was off abusing himself in Ranger School.
Jump School progressed smoothly for Jake, as he had expected. Static line parachute jumping was not the thrill that skydiving was. The heavy parachute and interminable time sitting around waiting to jump erased any pleasure from the act. Instead, a paratrooper had to be satisfied that he was doing something ninety-nine point nine percent of the population could not.
Jake even loved the PT they took every morning, especially the long runs. The airborne cadre had some instructors who could run all day singing Jody cadence and never get short of breath.
The second week of the course was called tower week because it was conducted on and around the two hundred-fifty foot towers that dominated the skyline near the center of the infantry school. It was at PT the first morning of tower week that Jake met the amazing Sergeant First Class Zeke Jordan. Zeke was a small wizened man who looked as if he was in his sixties. He drank like a fish; chain-smoked unfiltered Pall-Mall cigarettes, and could run an Olympic marathoner to death doing the airborne shuffle. The airborne shuffle was a short rhythmic running step that kept you moving but never let you stretch out your legs. After two miles, the muscles in front of your lower legs would start burning as if someone were holding a blow torch to them.
Old Zeke would add insult to injury by nonchalantly running backwards most of the time; woe be unto the trooper who even thought about falling out of one of his runs. The only saving grace while running with SFC Jordan was his singing. His growling, guttural voice was perfect for singing cadence.
It was Zeke's favorite song that replayed in Jake's head as he struggled to deploy his reserve parachute when his main malfunctioned on his fifth and final jump.
Stand up, hook up, shuffle to the door,
Jump right out and count to four.
If my main don't open wide,
I got another chute by my side.
If that one don't open too,
I'm gonna tell you what to do.
If I die on the old drop zone,
Box me up and send me home.
Pin my wings upon my chest,
Tell my woman I done my best.
Luckily Jake was able to play out his reserve enough so that it caught some air and deployed with a bone jarring snap. His useless main canopy fluttered around his head as he frantically dropped his equipment container. As Jake dazedly stood up and waved his arms, he decided that he was buying ol' Zeke a case or two of Jack Daniels. Singing 'stand up, hook up' to himself had focused his mind on the sequence he had to follow to deploy his reserve correctly.
As soon as the adrenaline wore off, Jake had started to feel the true effects of his brutal landing. He hurt all over but his back was really starting to twinge and stiffen up. Jake made it back to the assembly area and reported in to the Drop Zone Safety Officer. He no sooner turned around when Melissa was hugging him and crying. Jake winced in her embrace and her tears of joy evaporated into worry.
"Are you hurt, Baby?" she asked.
"I don't think so; but I honestly don't know. The longer I stand here the worse I feel. I have a headache and my back is getting stiff."
The DZSO sent Jake over to the medics; Melissa was glued to his side. The medics told Jake that he needed to get checked out at the hospital and put him in the ambulance. Melissa went back to the bleachers to tell the rest of the family what was going on. Trish and Leslie were as worried as she was. Even the baby seemed to know that something was up as he had one of his rare fussy spells.
Jake ended up spending the night in the hospital for observation. He was diagnosed with a slight concussion, lower back strain, and bruised ribs. The Turners finally flew back to Florida on Sunday afternoon. Jake had been given two weeks convalescent leave to go with his shiny new jump wings. The Yankee brass was fit to be tied with his injuries. Melissa called Steinbrenner and updated him every few days. Meanwhile, Jake basked in the loving care he received from his women. Like all real men, he milked it for all it was worth.
Jake went to the Naval Training Center Hospital in Orlando to be cleared to return to duty. He took his medical clearance forms to his Guard unit and was released from his active duty for training status. On the twenty-ninth of July, Jake reported to the Tampa Yankees for a rehabilitation assignment. The Tampa team had a new manager since Jake had last pitched there. Jake borrowed a glove, trotted out to the mound, and started pitching his first game in almost two months.
Jesse Blevins, the new Tampa coach, immediately knew something was wrong. This kid was being touted as a shoe-in to be the next pitcher to make the big team, yet he had no velocity on his fast ball, and his control was spotty. It took the worried coach two more batters before he realized that lefty Turner was pitching right-handed. Blevins turned to his pitching coach who was about to fall down trying to keep from laughing.
"Sorry, coach; Turner conned me into going along with this. You know, the kid's not bad as a rightie, which might be a trick worth exploiting somewhere down the line. Turner said that he would switch back as soon as you noticed -- but I say let's see how he does for an inning or two."
Jake gave up a hit and an uncharacteristic walk, but got out of the inning unscathed. When he got back to the dugout Blevins reamed him a new asshole for the prank. Jake put on his best act of contrition and took a seat on the bench. The pitching coach caught his eye and gave him a wink as Jake and the catcher high-fived.
After three starts with Tampa, Jake was skipped up the line to the AAA team in Columbus, Ohio. The Columbus Clippers were the final rung on the ladder leading to the major league. Jake was taking the place of Ron Guidry on the Clipper roster. The Yankees brought Guidry up for a look when they could expand their roster to twenty-eight players. Jake was the starting pitcher for three games with Columbus and appeared in relief twice. He did well enough to earn another invitation to spring training with the major leaguers.
During the late summer of 1975, TnT holdings made its first appearance on the national radar. Consumer Reporter magazine, in an exposé of underhanded sales techniques by car dealers, held TnT Automotive up a glowing example of the way customers should be treated. The consumer advocates were most impressed that customer service extended even after the sale was completed. They went to three different dealerships in three cities to confirm that the standards were company-wide. One of the researchers reported that the president of the company, Melissa Turner, had even called him to ask if he was satisfied with the service he received; of course, she had no idea he was a purchaser for the test program - so it had to have been standard treatment. The good press added to what was already a very large and loyal repeat client base.
Soon after the article appeared, the big three Detroit automakers started besieging TnT to open dealerships for domestic automobiles. Melissa finally wrung enough concessions from Ford to open the first TnT Ford, Lincoln, Mercury dealership in Palmdale. Ford had glumly swallowed the terms she had with Honda. In addition, Ford became much more active in supporting TnT racing. With input from Jake, Ford introduced a limited edition Thunderbird with four wheel disk brakes, heavy duty suspension, and an optional detuned, aluminum headed, 429 Cubic Inch V8. To quiet critics of gas guzzlers, the T-birds were called the Collector's Series; while technically street legal, Ford marketed them as if they were collectable art. The first two off the assembly line were delivered to Smiley Warrick and TnT racing in Daytona in December 1975.
The article in the consumer watchdog magazine was mentioned in the Wall Street Journal. Alfred Tremont gave the story a cursory read. Jesus, people were smucks, he thought. They go into a dealership, hat in hand, to buy a car they could not afford in the first place and expected to be treated like royalty. And that stupid bleeding heart cunt that owned the dealerships was going to drag everyone down with her if the idea caught on. Alfred reviewed his mental notes; yes, the automobile industry went into the toilet for the next couple of years. Easy to see why now. Alfred made a note of the company's name, TnT. He chucked; how apropos, a company bound to bomb was named after an explosive.
The Columbus Clippers did not qualify for the International League's World Series -- so Jake was back at the ranch on September the fifteenth. He had been home for a week when Melissa convened a family meeting. Jake did not understand why they bothered with these meetings; he knew that the women had already decided whatever they brought up anyway. Asking him his opinion was just a polite formality. Resigned to his role, he sat down at the table and held a decidedly chunky Jake Junior while Melissa, Trish, and Leslie delivered his fate.
"Hubby," Melissa said, "Don't you think it's about time that all of
us visit Ireland and discover your heritage?"