I now had two problems to solve before next Friday.
One was Yvonne and Jeannie. They would both want to come with me, but I wanted to tell them no. I needed time with Angie and I wanted to tell her how I felt. My two sisters would take some of that time away from me, and I needed as much as I could get to heal ourselves.
The other problem was Sharon. I truly liked her as a fuck partner, but I had no other feelings for her, and I didn't want to crush her again like her camp experience. This one was going to take help, and I knew just who to ask.
Jeannie and the folks were back from their trip, and the folks were out dancing or something. Jeannie was dating to catch up for lost time. I figured she wouldn't be home until the morning at the earliest.
Yvonne and Steve were visiting over the weekend and I needed to talk to Yvonne. She could help me and I needed some insight on how to handle Angie. I waited for Vonnie and Steve to get home. They arrived and Steve stayed a couple of minutes before saying he had to leave to see his family. I told him to tell Sharon I'd call her later. He smiled and waved.
Vonnie saw Steve back out to his car, and came into the living room. I was waiting.
"Hi sis, I need your wisdom and help. This is a situation I don't have any idea how to handle and Jeannie would be useless." I could see the smile take over her face. I was enjoying the feeling of getting help from my sister.
"You and Steve seem pretty heavy, and I don't want to do anything to sabatoge your relationship, but I need to break up with Sharon. It's not that I don't desire her sexually, its that all I DO desire her for is sex, not any long-term commitment. I realized I love Angie, and I'm going to do best to get the one true love of my life back with me. Do you have any suggestions on how to approach Sharon and cause her the least hurt? You know her probably as well as anybody except Steve and me."
Vonnie came over and kissed me tenderly. I could see the grateful look she gave me. She really wanted to help me, and I hoped she could.
"Oscar, I've been expecting this for months now. You may not have realized it, but everyone else has. You've been comparing everyone you've dated and screwed to Angie, and that was unfair to the other people. When you love someone, they will always be perfect. Sharon has been seeing other guys, too. (that was news to me) Yes, she could see in your eyes and actions that Angie still had your heart. She told me one night after you left that she was glad to be able to share you if only until you woke up and went after Angie. She also said that if Angie was no longer a part of your life, then maybe she could become part." Vonnie paused here and went to get a drink from the refrigerator. I was thinking about what she said, and it made sense somehow. She returned with a soda for me. I gulped it down gratefully.
She continued "Sharon will understand, believe me. She has grown up a lot since she began seeing you, and she knows what its like to love someone who is far away. Don't forget, she was in love with a boy she met in summer camp until he turned out to be a drug user. Now, are you going to finally settle with Angie like we want you to? She was the best thing that ever happened to you, and you were a happy soul when she was with you. I want to see that soul again, especially if my adopted sister was with you. (Adopted sister???) Yes, Angie and I talked frequently when you were out. (Another one of my screwups - Angie could see how nice my sister was, when I couldn't) I began to think of her as a sister, and I always hoped that "in-law" would be tagged on to the end." She sat back in her chair waiting for my response.
I was floored. My sister was way ahead of me again, and I felt foolish. I knew that I had to tell Sharon tonight, and not let it go on longer. I also knew that I needed to stop screwing all the other girls I had been screwing on a regular basis. My love should be for Angie only, not spread out across the entire town.
"Vonnie, once again I feel like crap. You know me better than I know myself, and how could I have ever ignored you like I did? Do you have any idea how Angie will react when she sees me? It has been over a year and that's a lot of time to make up. I know how I feel, but I'd be crushed if she didn't feel the same anymore."
She gave me a look of sadness and continued "If you had asked me that six months ago, I'd have said you had nothing to worry about. But I haven't heard from her in six months myself. She used to call me once a week to ask how you were doing and whether you'd found anyone else. I told her about Sharon, and she stopped calling. She probably thinks she's lost you and she just wants to say goodbye face to face. I hope I'm wrong, but I doubt it. You better know what you're gonna tell her, or you may fail again. I know something else that you don't know, but I promised Angie on Dad's grave that I wouldn't tell you until she could tell you herself. If I can read you, you'll love the surprise, but I warn you, its something serious and you need to be prepared for that. Now, go upstairs and call Sharon. The longer you put this off, the harder it will be for you." She got up and went to her room. "Oh by the way, when do Jeannie and I need to be ready for the wedding?"
"Huh, you know about the wedding, too? Why didn't you tell me? Don't you think I want to be with Brad and Naty - they are my friends too?"
"Brad told us firmly NOT to tell you. He didn't want you there to upset Angie. He thinks you just want to fuck her again, and don't care for her feelings, and to tell you the truth, up until today I agreed with him." She went into her room and closed the door. Jeannie came home about five minutes later and saw my tear stained face and came over to me and hugged me.
"What's wrong, little brother?" she said with genuine concern.
I told her everything and showed her Angie's letter. When she heard about Janie, she got mad and started cursing again.
"Janie needs to show some compassion. She may want Angie, but even she knows that Angie loves you, and she has to let go. I'm gonna have a little talk with that girl and she's gonna listen to me for a change. Now, Vonnie is right, call Sharon and get this over with as soon as you can. We have a lot of plans to make, and you have a lot of thinking to do. Don't blow this chance like you did with our sister." she was dead serious and she was right.
I grabbed the phone and made a date with Sharon that next night.
We went to her house (her folks and Steve were gone) and she immediately started for the bedroom. I shook my head no, and went into the living room with a look of sadness on my face.
She knew. "You've finally decided to go back to Angie, haven't you?" she said without a trace of anger, just tears. I felt like crap again. This was becoming all too familiar a feeling.
"Yes I have. What can I say, Sharon, I love her. Its not that I don't care for or have feelings for you, but its not love. Lust maybe, but not love. How many times have we ever had an evening when we haven't been screwing for most of it? Did you ever want to go somewhere with me just to be with me, and not fuck later if you didn't feel like it? I can't remember once Angie and I did that a lot, and it was just as satisfying as if we'd fucked all night. I know this hurts, but I had to be honest with you and not lead you on anymore." I looked into her face and I saw pain and also resignation. She'd expected this to happen, but she was hoping it wouldn't.
"Oscar, I've known from our second date that you were deeply in love with Angie, and it's hurt me a lot. But as we dated, I could see that you had no idea you were hurting me and you weren't consciously aware of what you felt for Angie. This was my only hope - that I could make you forget her enough so that you could fall for me. I thought I had done it when we began to go out more often, but I realize now that you were trying to fight it and you couldn't. What finally decided it for you?"
I showed her the letter, and she read it. Then she read it again, and she started to cry. "This is beautiful. I've never met her, but she must be a wonderful person. Oscar, please tell me about her. I want to know how a woman like that can be so forgiving and loving to someone for so long. I want to know so I can become like that and maybe I'll find my Oscar."
Now she had me in tears. Somehow I wished Sharon and I could start over again. She was more like Angie than I wanted to admit, even to myself. Maybe that's why this relationship lasted like it did. I told her about Angie, how she was so afraid of sex, how she hated her boobs, how she couldn't understand why boys found her attractive, the incidents with Janie and how we grew closer and closer to each other, and finally when she had to leave and how devastated I felt. By time I was through, Sharon was glassy eyed and in a state of shock.
"I wish I had met this woman. She is an example of what a girl should be and is someone to emulate. Oscar, can we make love one more time, please. I want to feel you in me once more, and then go to Angie and complete yourself."
How could I refuse? I didn't and this was our most satisfying coupling of all. The last time we joined was the absolute best. I left that night happy knowing that I had ended with Sharon as good as I could.