I awoke totally refreshed Tuesday, snuggled between long, tall, big-busted Wanda and Bobby, my biggest love of all. A sneak look at the clock said five fifty-five, so there was only five minutes before I should be getting up. The girls usually wanted to sleep till six fifteen or even six thirty, but I was ready to roll. The thought passed through my head to form some Tai Chi this morning, but I was at peace with myself, so I thought a swim would be the most fun.
I slid from bed, slipped my leg on loosely, and thought about how nice it will be to have the easy on and off peg that was coming. After using the bathroom, I walked to the back door and was ready to slide it open when I noticed a snake lying near the door. I looked closer and saw it was a Florida timber rattler. Shoot, I would need to go around the house to get something to pick it up with to kill it or put it in a garbage can.
I almost left for the garage when I saw another snake over by the hot tub. Son-of-a-gun if that wasn't a rattler too. These weren't babies but adults three to five feet long. Hmmm, it's strange to have two up under the patio at the same time. It was then that I realized I could see at least three more out there. This was too early for them to be out sunning themselves, so someone must have released them in the pool cage very recently. I got out of the doorway, closed the drape, and went in to wake up Bobby and Wanda. I told them to use the bathroom and dress quickly.
I went to Marie's room and woke her and found Jan with her, telling them to get ready for work early.
I slipped on a pair of jeans and my high engineer boots, along with a shirt. As people began showing up in the kitchen, I didn't let them turn on the light and told them why. I had made a pot of coffee, so those who wanted coffee had a cup while I told them what my plan was.
Bobby stopped me, saying, "We didn't turn on the alarm last night but the cameras record on the DVR continuously. I'm going to review everything since last night."
"Check about an hour to two hours ago, first. Snakes look for warmth and they were still crawling around looking for a place when I first saw them. While you do that, I'm going to find something to pick them up with and get a garbage can to put them in."
Not knowing whether whoever it was could have pried the garage door up and released some inside the garage, I went into the area cautiously, looking behind everything to make sure I wouldn't startle a snake. I found a rake and went out the wide back door, also cautiously looking around for any snakes that might have been outside. I didn't see any and shut the door to make sure none slipped in on me. Around the side of the house were our garbage cans, so I took the lid off an empty one and carried it with me into the pool cage.
The nearest snake was just lying stretched out, not in a defensive coil. Using the rake, I scooped it up and while it was wiggling around, I dumped it into the plastic garbage can. There was another crawling along near a chair, so I scooped it up and quickly put it in the can too. I found seven more that were easily seen. Now I had to move stuff to find where they might be hiding. I went around the pool, dragging the garbage can, stopping at anything that could hide a snake. Two more were hiding out around the pool so after picking them up, I felt as if that area was clear. Now for the patio.
I moved everything that could hide a snake and only found one more. Marie was standing at the patio door knocking on it and pointing toward the pool. I turned to look, and son-of-gun, there were at least four visible snakes swimming in the pool. These weren't rattlesnakes but cotton mouth water moccasins. It took me a couple of seconds to figure out that the net for skimming leaves that some how sneak into the caged pool would be the easiest way to catch them.
I thought as I went after the water mocassins, 'Hope the two types of snakes get along as they were going to live together for at least a while.' It took almost thirty minutes to get the total of seven snakes from the pool and the skimmer basket.
I was being really thorough, looking over the patio very closely. About the time I was going to declare the whole place safe, I noticed the hot tub cover was a little crooked. Lifting it up very carefully revealed a squirming mass of snakes. There must have been thirty or forty of them in the tub. With as much caution as possible, I scooped them out of the hot tub into the garbage can.
I took a break to go in and have a cup of coffee. Bobby began telling me what she observed from the security videos. A small van had come up the street to park a hundred feet or so from our driveway. Three men had gotten out of the truck and carried buckets into the pool area. She said the video showed them dumping the snakes into the pool and hot tub, and the last bucket was dumped near our rear patio door. Bobby had made a copy of the DVR recording to have the Bureau enhance the three men's faces and to enlarge the license plate that was caught when they left.
I sent all the girls to work, but I now had a garbage can a quarter full of snakes. To be on the safe side, I put the lid on the can and called the Lowry Park zoo. They said they were not interested in large quantities of snakes, but they gave me the number of a local lab that collected venom for serum.
I called the lab to see if they would pick up the snakes but they said they would accept them if we delivered them in an approved container. I asked them if they could provide an approved container but they could not. I asked if a garbage can would be considered an approved container and their reply was that if the garbage can had been sterilized before its use, it would be suitable.
A long shot was the county animal control department. When I asked if they would come take away a can full of rattlesnakes and cotton mouth water moccasins, they told me that they would come and catch them but were not in the practice of just picking them up.
I called Frank from the Bureau to ask him what he thought I might do with the snakes. After having to explain the entire story to him and that his techs were going to work on the video, he said, "I know you don't like to deal with the local cops but on this one, call the sheriff's office and tell them what happened. They are going to want a copy of the DVR recording, so make one for them and give them a statement. They will then be obligated to take the snakes."
"Come on, Frank, isn't there another way to do this without airing our laundry out to the locals?"
"It is a civil crime, even though this is probably some kind of payback, or an attempt to eliminate you, which would come under your office. Since you're the CMFWIC, you might want to have the locals on your side on this."
"Okay, you got me. What's CMFWIC?"
"Oh, come on, you don't know that one? Chief mother fucker what's in charge."
"Funny, but accurate in this case. Okay, I'll call a cop. Now that's pretty funny isn't it?"
The phone rang as soon as I hung it up. Bobby was calling to ask me if I saw any round white lids around. She said that the video shows the buckets covered coming in but stacked together open as they left. She then said, "Don't go through the door out there. Don't touch the handle or anything on the patio. I'm sending a CSI team to get prints. The video shows everything they touched. One more thing, Sarg says he thinks he recognizes one of the men and is going over old cases to see if he can remember who it is. Anyway, since I'm in charge of this investigation right now, you stay on premise until the CSI guys get done."
I told her what Frank suggested so I could get rid of the snakes. Bobby advised me, "Not to worry, I'll have the CSI guys take them to the lab you talked to and tell them they have to either take them or the guys will just dump them on the floor. That'll take care of it. I'll call first and tell them they have to take them. You know we'll just have to get in the habit of turning the alarm on. We also have to have a contractor come to give us a price on adding onto the garage. Oh yeah, that's what I wanted to ask you. Did you check inside your car? It's easy enough to open the door. Jan's car was out last night too, but hers has an alarm."
The doorbell rang, so I told Bobby the CSI guys were here and hung up. The men said, "This is the first time we've come to you when there haven't been bodies. You gettin' soft on us now?"
I took them to the patio where they had a list of places to dust for prints. I told them about the can of snakes and they said Bobby had already advised them of the deal. I told them while they did that, I was going to get ready to go in, but first I needed to check my car.
As soon as I got to the car, I could see the passenger door lock was up. This was nuts. A protected vehicle that could withstand gunfire, flames, and even minor explosions, didn't have an alarm. Who would think a police car needed an alarm? When I looked inside the car there was a large rattle snake on the front seat and another on the floor as well as one on the back seat. The rake wasn't going to work here so I went inside and called animal control again. After explaining what my problem was, the operator said she would have someone right out and that I needed to report this to the sheriff's office.
I called Bobby to tell her about the car and animal control. She said, "I don't like that we have to have the sheriff's office in on our business, but you probably should. This is as much a civil matter as it is a Marshal's Office responsibility. It should be fun to write a report for this."
A van marked with Hillsborough County Animal Control parked in the driveway. I asked the two guys if they could wait while I had the car door handle dusted and went to get the CSI guys. They came out and dusted the handle, the top of the door and down the window, lifting several sets of prints that were probably mostly mine.
I told the animal control guys that I had a garbage can full of snakes if they wanted to just add these to it. They said that would be perfect and they would bring the can back later. At least there was a snake disposal resolution.
That reminded me that Monday was garbage pickup day for me, so I grabbed the other two cans and began wheeling them out to the curb. Thinking about it a second, I carefully lifted the lid of the first can to look inside. There was nothing, no snakes. The second was the same. I was getting paranoid over snakes. I went inside to gather up the trash from the other waste baskets shoving it all into the tall kitchen can then taking the bag out to join the two cans by the curb. It was a good thing too, as I could hear the garbage truck on the next block over.
I did my usual triple S as quick as possible. (Shit, Shower, and Shave) then dressed for work, wearing slacks and a knit shirt that I could wear a sport coat with later. Every time I dressed in my fine clothes, I had good thoughts of Metarie from the employment office.
The CSI guys were finishing up and the animal control guys said they thought they had all the snakes from the car. They had even taken the back seat out. I thanked them for hauling all the snakes away. A country sheriff's deputy was holding the lid while looking into the squirming mass of snakes. He asked if I had time for him to make a report and to get a statement. He said he had responded to the call when the house was attacked recently, and he remembered me from some past incidents in the area.
The deputy was the guy who Jonah's barmaid introduced me to as her husband. I don't think he recognized me in dress clothes.
I took the deputy through the house, showing him the patio and where we had found snakes. I took back him inside to the kitchen/family room area and had him sit while I made us coffee real quick. He filled out his report and took a statement as I answered all of his questions. I asked him if he could wait a minute and I would give him a security video of the incident.
I called Bobby and asked if she had made more than one copy of the video. She transferred me to Marie who had made the one this morning. Marie said, "Yes Sir, made several. They are on the shelf under the monitor that doubles for a TV. They are marked 'snakes.'"
The deputy wanted to watch the video, so I put one in the player and punched the button. We watched the fifteen minute video while finishing our coffee.
"That's the best evidence I've ever been able to gather. I'll show this around at the station to see if anyone recognizes these guys. Good luck, but be careful. I know you know how to take care of yourself, but this shows that someone doesn't like you very much."
"Thanks, Deputy, I'll be on my toes. It is a little more difficult to be on alert at home where it's supposed to be safe and cozy. I'll see you at Jonah's again soon, I'm sure."
"That is you, the guy with Millie's sister. I go up there fairly often to keep Denise company. Most of the guys there know I'm a cop, but it doesn't seem to bother them, especially since I got my Heritage. Now I'm one of the gang."
I said, "Yeah, I like Jonah's too. It's a good place to go to and seems fairly mellow, if a biker bar can ever be considered mellow."
When everyone was gone, I made a pass through the house, checked the windows and all the doors, turned on the alarm, and left.
I was starved, but it was already past ten thirty, which meant the fast food places weren't serving breakfast sandwiches any more. I would just wait for lunch.
I parked in the garage and asked Hank what it would take to have an alarm put on the car. After telling him the snake story, he said he would have it done by early this afternoon.
Up in my office, Wanda handed me a blank incident report form and told me to make a report since it was an obvious attempt on a deputy or multiple deputies' lives. I wrote the report, noting that the CSI team had gathered evidence and that a security video had been given to the Bureau to enhance and enlarge the subjects and license plate number.
It was just about that time that Jan came in with a young man that she said was going to be assigned to my specific case. She had already introduced Sam Wilson to Bobby, but wanted to have him meet me as well. We chatted for a few minutes before she finally got down to what she wanted. "Chuck, if you haven't been down to the range yet today, would you mind if we went with you. Sam doesn't have a lot of experience, and I thought it would be nice if he could get some first class instruction from you."
"Sure, we'll go down together. But Sam, I have to tell you, Jan is probably a better shot than I am, and would be a better teacher if she would let herself be. Come on, I haven't been on the range in over a week."
Wanda jumped up and said, "I'll tell the girls to watch the store. I need to go down as well."
The range has six stationary positions to fire from, but only two people at a time can do a competition decision course. When the four of us walked in at once, the range officer, Cap, short for Captain of his college football team, smiled big and said, "Looks like Jan got you down here to teach after all. Thought you might be avoiding me down here, but I did hear you have been traveling."
Cap handed out some magazines filled with range loads, and some noise canceling ear muffs. I told Sam to get on one side of me and Wanda to get on the other so I could help either if they needed it.
I watched Sam fumble around with his weapon until I couldn't take it anymore. I asked him to clear the weapon so I could show him a little more about it. We took all of our equipment out to the cleaning table to begin.
"Sam? This is a new weapon right? Have you cleaned and oiled it yet?"
"Shouldn't have to if it's new, should I? Jan was harping about that too."
I had to pause for a deep breath and said, "To begin with, this weapon is a mechanical piece of machinery that needs attention and care. Watch closely while I take your new weapon apart. Sixty seconds later, the Glock was parts on display, not a functional handgun. "Did you watch how the gun came apart?"
"No sweat, I got it."
"Okay, before we put it back together let's do some preventative maintenance. Use this slightly oiled swab and pass it through the barrel. Now use the brush. Okay good, now use a clean piece of heavy gauze to push through so the barrel isn't too oily. Look through it and see that the rifling or twists in the barrel are clean."
"Now get a clean rag, with just a little oil on it, and wipe each part with a light glaze of oil. Do yourself a favor and put it back in the exact order when you finish oiling it."
"Okay, wipe your hands with a clean rag and begin putting your weapon back together."
This kept on, as I had to say stuff like, "Put the spring in first" or "slide it on from the top" and finally to say "make sure the slide travels freely back and forth." Then "pull it all the way back to a locking position and wipe the gun off again to get your fingerprints off of it."
Cap leaned over and said, "Your fingers have a different kind of oil in them and if you sweat, the salty fingerprints will actually cause rust."
Next I took him back into the range and had him put his magazines on the lower shelf and an empty magazine and the gun on the ready shelf. We went through picking up the gun, handling it, what the safety features were and the correct way to always maintain where the gun was pointed. He asked why he shouldn't carry the gun with the muzzle pointed up instead of pointing at the ground. I had to then talk about the best way to aim the gun and how to fire it to hit something.
He was anxious to shoot, so I suggested he drop the empty magazine and lock and load a full one, so he could show me how well he could shoot.
With the target only half way back on the range, he first held the muzzle up in the air then brought it down quickly into a two handed movie star position and fired all his rounds hitting the body of the target four out of fourteen times.
When he was done, he dropped the magazine and smiled at me, "See, not bad."
"Put your piece down, okay? Let me get someone."
I went to get Wanda at the cleaning table. "Wanda, come do a demo for me."
"Rats, I just got done cleaning it and putting it back together," the tall beauty said.
"Leave it, Wanda, come use mine. That will make the demo more believable."
Wanda came in and I put her in my position with my pistol and three magazines. "Now watch, Sam. This is how you are expected to shoot. Wanda is going to use my weapon. It is physically larger than any she has ever used before, so she may not be that accurate, but I think both you and she will be surprised."
Wanda ran her target to the back of the range, looked at me for a signal, and I just nodded. She put a full magazine into the gun, chambered a round, and with a professional two handed grip, emptied the first magazine into the body hitting the circle with every round. She then dropped the empty and slid the next in to empty it entirely into the head of the target. She followed this with the last magazine, alternating between the body and the head, again hitting the circles every time.
When she dropped the last magazine and laid the gun down she pushed the button to bring the target forward exclaiming, "Damn, that's better than that little gun. I want one like this, Mr. Johnson, this is really nice."
"Sam, that's how you need to shoot. Did you see Wanda hold her muzzle up, or did she bring it up on the target? I hope you saw how it should be done and the results."
Sam whined, "She's a pro probably, she probably has been shooting every day for years and years."
Wanda jumped in and said, "My first target when I came here looked just like yours but after taking just one lesson and practicing what he taught me, I can do what you just saw."
"I don't need any shooting lessons. I shoot good enough to defend myself. Besides, I'm not going to be getting into any gunfights. You guys act like this is the old west or something. The only reason I did this is to get Jan off my back. I'll come down every week and waste ammo to stay proficient, but I don't need any lessons, especially from a deputy marshal."
Jan was red in the face from listening to the blowhard. He failed to pick up his brass or turn in his empty magazines and just walked out. Jan and Wanda dove down to pick up brass, but I waved them off. "I get to shoot now. That's what I came down for, isn't it? Jan, want some revenge and do a competition course with me?"
"You're on, Boss, let's get some magazines."
We took the empty magazines back to Cap who, instead of handing us a stack of practice rounds, handed us four filled magazines each. He set up the range and had us get into position. Jan said, "You should shoot some warm up rounds or I'll have the advantage."
"This will be more real life like; you go from daydreaming to firing in milliseconds."
The bell rang, beginning the round. We only did six positions, but the targets were coming up really fast. Forty rounds later, I felt pretty good about the course.
"You might have beat me on speed, but I think I hit with every round, Jan."
"Then you got me, Boss, I missed two targets as they were coming up so fast. Cap really was putting it on us wasn't he?"
As we came out of the range, Cap said, "The winner and still champion, Deputy Johnson. I thought you would be rusty and you didn't even warm up. The fast targets miffed my babe and not you, I should have known."
I took the scoop and scooped up brass then hand picked up the last of them. I brought my and Sam Wilson's sound muffs in and headed to the table where Wanda was waiting for us. Jan and I cleaned our weapons and straightened up the tables. Cap asked, "Am I gonna have to put up with the whiner for very long?"
Jan frowned and said, "He's some big shot's kid and was transferred here because he had trouble in Cleveland. His file says he barely made it through Quantico academically and physically."
I asked Jan, "What do think about him at a more demanding station, one where everyone has to pull together a little more than usual? I noticed an opening at an isolated three man station. He might make a good research assistant for the Bureau."
"Do we really have a three man station somewhere that is used for research?"
I answered with an explanation, "In almost all federal law enforcement agencies, there are some strange small stations that are short on manpower, but big on observation and research."
Jan was skeptical, "How would you get this past his dad? He seems to be constantly able to pull strings."
"Since this is considered a prestigious assignment for those who want to progress within the Bureau, I think his dad would convince him that fifteen months in the Aleutians would be a great benefit to his career. It will also help him grow up. From what I've heard, if you don't get along out there, people just seem to get lost wandering around the small islands or going between them. I'll bet he becomes a lot more considerate and respectful very fast."
"Anything, Chuck, just get him out of my hair. No one wants to partner with him and you know we don't send men out alone unless it's for security clearance updates from the Secret Service. We get a lot of those, but he's done nothing but bitch about the duty."
"Not a problem, Jan, I'll have his transfer orders in your station within the hour. Station Alpha will be happy to be getting a young guy like that. The old fairies out there will be all grins when they check out his file."
Jan laughed at me, "Oh Chuck, the Bureau doesn't have gay guys in stations, especially at small station like that."
I smiled and laughingly said, "I've heard only rumors, Jan, only rumors. But make sure you have him e-mail the station to see if he can bring anything for the guys there. They may need more lotion and lubricant."
Upstairs, I had Wanda contact Bureau personnel to forward orders for Sam Wilson. He was immediately promoted to Station Alpha Observation and Research Facility for fifteen months. Since I advised Wanda of agent Wilson's past and present problems and benefactor, she sent an advisory e-mail to Sam's dad, congratulating him on Sam's selection for the station. She received an almost instant reply, thanking her for being instrumental in Sam's transfer.
Jan called me around three to tell me that Sam had gone ballistic when he received his orders and had immediately called his dad. Apparently his dad convinced him he would be on the fast track for advancement if he did a good job at Station Alpha and pleased the research agents out there. Sam was signed out to pack and leave immediately, complete with a list of needed items from the on site researchers.
Jan asked, "What if he does a good job out there and comes back to get promoted somewhere?"
"If he does, Jan," I answered, "he'll have grown up and become a lot more flexible with his thinking. The guys out there will control his destiny with their performance reports. If he stops back in, just tell him good luck and to do a good job."
Frank called me about five to tell me his men had picked up the driver of the minivan used this morning to drop off snakes. They had him in interrogation in an attempt to identify the two accomplices. They didn't have any print matches so far. I told him that Sarg thought he might know one of them, and Frank asked that Sarg come down to visit him.
Bobby said she would have Sarg go in to the Bureau station to talk to Frank and to observe the driver. She also said, the housekeeper had called in a panic as alarms went off making lots of noise when she went into the house. "While she was talking to me, a duty team that is assigned as back up to the safe house showed up. I gave her the code to shut off the alarm and she said she would reset it when she left. Good idea to use it though. We'll have to have it monitored by a regular monitoring company instead of the board down here. I'll go over the procedure for the alarm with the girls this evening."
John called to ask me about my snake incident. I told him a short version and advised him we had the driver in custody. His only comment was, "You made a lot of enemies down there real quick. Between the organized crime types and the Russians, that would be enough to make most people hide. Just be careful and pay attention to your surroundings. I know you should be safe now back here in the U.S., but you've chosen to be on the good guys' side. You've cost some bad guys a lot of money, people, and caused some embarrassment. A lot of those guys don't forget very quickly. I'm sure you're blamed for the organized prostitution busts the Bureau has made down there, as well as cleaning out the agencies of informers and moles. You might even consider wearing a vest. It's up to you, but just some advice."
"You're probably right. I'll be a lot more careful and make sure those around me know to be careful as well."
I was going to hang up, but asked, "What should I do, John, just go out and bring in everyone or anyone having to do with those groups? Is that the only way for me to get some peace?"
"You can do that, Chuck, but you won't be able to hold them unless they are illegal aliens. Even then, immigration is being so loose about illegals that you may not be able to deport them unless you can prove they committed a crime against a person. You're better off catching them in a crime and jailing them here, rather than deporting them. They'll just come back with a new identity while immigration sits around with their thumbs up their butts."
As it got close to five, I called out to the air park to make sure I was still booked for two hours from nine to eleven for night flying. They assured me a plane was reserved for my night solo and that John had written out where he wanted me to fly for landings.
The crew wanted to go to The Office, so I accompanied them, having Coke while everyone else had ice cold beer. The waitress was cool as she brought my Coke in a frosty mug just like the beer. Tonight's special was what were called "Georgia's tasty mini calzones." Since we knew all about them, we had a couple of orders delivered to our table. After the second beer was finished, we walked back to the office for our cars to go home.
Tonight we exercised and swam, but I didn't over exert myself so I would be alert for my night solo. I was getting close to my checkout ride with the FAA examiner and I wanted to be proficient.
When I showed up at the air park at eight thirty, I was surprised to find John there. He asked me, "Do you want to use the 206 or a 150 series? Since you're checked out in both, you have a choice."
"How about the little one? If I do a lot of flying on my own, it will probably be in smaller aircraft, so I'll use one of the little ones."
"Good reasoning, Chuck," John said. "I do want you to fly the bigger planes when you have a chance though. I think you will do well in multi-engine aircraft as well. The idea is to fly as many different types of planes as you can. Go up every chance you get with anyone who will take you. I'll talk it up out here so you will be welcome with all of the air jockeys out here. They all love to fly and will love to share time with a guy like you. You need to fly a tail dragger soon too. We have some older planes that are fun to fly, but are not tricycle gear planes."
My flight was easy, slow, but fun. It felt pretty good to fly by myself at night. I felt safe as I did everything by the numbers, making picture perfect landings in almost windless conditions on well lit runways. I landed at the air park at eleven ten and parked in front of the hangar. I was pulling the plane back into the hangar when John came out of the charter office and helped me put the plane in place.
I wrote up the plane's log, turned it in, and noted the flight in my training log. John asked me if I could get in four more hours of instructor time so he could schedule my FAA examiners ride.
"Let's do Wednesday and Thursday, two hours each at just about any time, you choose."
"I can't do Thursday as the charters are really heavy then. How about four hours tomorrow either early in the morning or later in the afternoon."
"Can we go up at seven, maybe even earlier?"
"How about I meet you here just before six and we'll be back by ten? I'll try to schedule your examiner for Friday, how's that?"
I smiled, "Sounds good, John. Can we use a 172 so I can get checked out in it? If I get my ticket, I want to be able to fly Bobby around a little. I think she'll fit fine in the right seat. She's big, but not fat big, just big."
It was nearly midnight when I cruised around our neighborhood to see if there were any unusual cars in the area. I found two pairs of duty personnel in the neighborhood, but didn't stop to talk to them. When I went into the house, all three girls were still up and were happy that I made it home. I told them that I needed to get to bed as I was meeting John at the air park before six for my last four hours of instructed flight training.
When we were in bed, I told Bobby, "If I pass my examination Friday, I'll take you up this weekend. It should be fun. We can fly up to Panama City to see your sister."
For that I was duly rewarded with some high power loving from my big lady.
She told me before going to sleep she had directed a surveillance duty in our neighborhood as an additional watch area since the safe house was near. She said that John had called her to advise her we should be vigilant. "You need to be wearing your vest for a while. The rest of us will be wearing ours when we're out, as well. We just won't take any chances."
We had some more intense loving and fell asleep.
Primary editing by Pepere
Proofing by Sagacious